Met Gala 2019: Category is ... Camp!

A lot of people are  confused about what the "camp" theme of this year's Met Gala means.

Camp is fabulousness, irony, over-the-top, in-your-face humor at being extra. And some brought it, some tried, and some failed.

Camp Fabulous for Girls

Lady Gaga, who appeared in a ginormous pink gown and with an entourage, only to disrobe and show off her simple black dress with a bustle. Another quick change and she’s in a strapless pink number again, and then, presto change-o, in her drawers.

Camp Gay Boys

Billy Porter arrives in Camp Gay style, being carried by shirtless beefcake. Once on the carpet, he dismounted and rocked the carpet in sequins and wings and just sheer fabulousness.

Camp Gender Fluid

Ezra Miller is a long white cape and face mask, until the cape disappears and he’s in a tuxedo and wire corset with a long train. The mask comes down and he’s all eyes, and so are we.

Camp Barbie Doll

Kacey Musgraves in pink leather and fur, and the perfect plastic Barbie doll make-up.

Camp Cher Wannabes

JLo, who came as herself until she slapped on a sequined bathing cap.

Ciara clearly broke into Cher’s house and took clothes and a wing.

Get your own style ladies!

Camp Drama

Cardi B brought the drama, the train, the skirt, the headpiece, the feathers and the ruffles. All covered up and she still oozes sex appeal.

Camp Didn’t Get the Memo

Demi looking like Demi, which ain’t all that these days, and then Gwyneth, who last year complained that she hated the Met Gala and yet here she is again, looking like a sad sack of heirloom potatoes.

Camp Headwear

Cara Delevingne whose outfit was so-so, but whose headpiece was amazing.

Camp LGBTQ Realness.

Laverne Cox is giving me Disney villainess realness. I’m surprised she wasn’t trying to steal puppies on the carpet.

Camp Men

—clockwise

Darrin Criss in a simple outfit, with a dazzling jacket and eye makeup for the gods.

Jared Leto giving me religious hypocrisy realness while carrying around his own head.

RuPaul is sequins and feathers and platforms. Ru-mazing.

Ryan Murphy, sadly, looks a little sad sack; the cape is everything, the suit is little boy.

Camp Mother Daughter Day

Sophie Von Haselberg and her mother, Bette Midler, proving that the family that camps together., slays together.

Camp Showgirls

Gwen Stefani—sans Blake—and Celine Dion looking like a couple of aging showgirls who stumbles onto the carpet.

Camp Trolls

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen gave up their usual black caftan looks for black leather and kewpie doll make up., It never gets old … yes, it does.

Camp Whimsy

Janelle Monáe and Lupita Nyong'o brought the camp, the color, the fun, the whimsy and the spirit of the night.

Camp Katies

One, Katy Perry, is visiting from Camp Overkill, because she could barely stand up in her outfit.

The other, Katie Holmes, dropped by from Camp Big Gown Doesn’t say Camp.

Camp Marry Me

Alexander Skarsgård and Omari Hardwick may not have pushed the boundaries of camp, but, yeah, I’d like to be the neat in that sammich. Or even just opened-faced sammich with Omari!

I Never Went To Camp, But If This Is It, I Missed Out

Blatantly stolen from dlisted

Cher just might tear herself away from her custom-made oxygen crypt long enough to shoot scenes in Xtina's debut movie Burlesque ( I want to see jazz hands in the air when you read that title).

It was already announced that Xtina would star in the movie musical as a small-town girl who dreams of being a singer but finds herself thrusting her crotch at a burlesque club. The working title should be, Showgirls: The Whores Are Alive With The Sound Of Music!

Entertainment Weekly says that Cher is in final talks play the owner of the club. Seriously, the camp level of this movie will hit the heavens if Cher is in it. I mean, Cher and Xtina wearing sparkly nipple tassles while singing and shaking their chichis?! All this ridiculousness needs is a random scene where Joan Collins storms into the club and slaps Cher for no reason. That would make this soon-to-be cinematic wreck the glittery cherry on top of my life sundae. Is it really too early to order my tickets on Fandango?

And if you live in the Los Angeles area, you better stock up on all your cosmetics right now. This movie is going to empty out every single make-up counter in the city.

Now, I loves me some Cher, but that is funny. And, um, of course, you, ah, know, that I'll, er, be right there, um, on opening day of this movie!

Front row, baby!