Bobservations

So this is about the Absentminded Professor Carlos AKA The Chocoholic and how he makes me laugh.

See, the other night he asked if I wanted some hot chocolate and I said sure. So he sets about making it but then calls me to the kitchen because he says we’re out of chocolate. I say we can’t be out because there’s an unopened box in the cupboard and another box with a little bit of chocolate left inside.

“I only have the one with very little chocolate.”

“Well, the full box was under the open box the other day.”

“All I have is the open box.”

So I go into the kitchen and look up on the shelf where the cocoa powder goes and there’s none there. And then Carlos holds up the open box and says:

“This is all we have.”

“Yesterday there was an unopened box and an open box on that same shelf. Are you sure you didn’t use–”

And my eyes drop down to the counter where a pristine unopened box of cocoa powder sits, waiting to be used in hot chocolate and I point it out to him.

“You’re gonna write about this on your blog, right?”

“No, sweetie pie, I would never—”

Let’s keep this our secret.

From December 2009, this is Tuxedo Sunday, with that handsome boy posing on the bed in the guestroom.

He did love a camera pointed his way …

As we start Pride Month here are a few reminders before anyone rants …

Veterans and members of the Military get two months … May and November.

Straight Pride isn’t a thing because straight people were never oppressed, refused legal rights, or murdered for being straight.

Trans men are men, and trans women are women.

Your religion is meant to guide you, not everyone else.

No one is forcing you to attend Pride events; it’s not a hostage situation so if you don’t want to go, don’t go. Just mind your own business.

Carry on …

Minneapolis law enforcement authorities, along with the Texas Rangers, apprehended ICEstapo agent Christian Castro last week and arrested him for shooting an INNOCENT Venezuelan immigrant in Minneapolis in January.

As ICEstapo agents do, Castro lied about the shooting then fled Minnesota for Texas. He now faces four felony charges of aggravated assault and one count of falsely reporting a crime.

I hope they lock him up in one of their detention centers for life and I hope they get him on state charges so Cankles cannot pardon him or pay him off from the slush fund.

Former Oklahoma Republican Assistant District Attorney Kevin Etherington, who served Payne and Logan counties, was sentenced to 20 years in prison for child pornography charges.

Court documents state investigators seized three SD cards, three flash drives and a laptop from Etherington’s home with over 153 photos and videos of girls under 9 years old being abused in a Google Drive that belonged to Etherington.

NOT TRANSGENDER!! 

NOT A DRAG QUEEN!! 

NOT AN IMMIGRANT!!

The DC Circuit Court of Appeals dealt Cankles and DUI-hire Hegseth a defeat on the first day of Pride Month when they ruled that kicking out trans troops is unconstitutional and driven only by fear and hatred.

Happy Pride!!

Meanwhile, while many of us celebrate Pride, in Arkansas where it’s still the 1950s Governor Sarah Huckleberry Sanders has declared June to be “Fidelity Month” in her state, a time to “encourage renewed dedication to virtue, commitment, responsibility and shared moral foundations.”

This is rich coming from a former Cankles Press Secretary who propped up an adjudicated rapist, sexual predator, and accused child molester with three marriages and countless affairs in his lifetime.

You cannot make this shiz up.

Award-winning broadcaster Scott Pelley spent nearly four decades at CBS News, reported from war zones, covered presidents, anchored the network’s evening newscast, and became one of the defining faces of 60 Minutes. 

CBS News terminated Pelley this week after he publicly accused Bari Weiss, the network’s editor-in-chief, of "murdering" 60 Minutes and questioned the qualifications of newly installed executive producer Nick Bilton.

Bye CBS.

Just a thought … you don’t get four cognitive tests in eighteen months unless the doctors are monitoring your dementia.

Roche Kilian is an actor, a model, a social media influencer, and says he’s only here to motivate, inspire and lead by example … for example, Would You Hit It?

Ain't That America XLIII

Here we are with the 43rd edition of Ain’t That America. I never thought it would last this long, but I do feel an end in sight … an end to wars for profit from the “Peace” President … an end to the grift  … to the gold-leafing of America … and end to the goose-stepping GOP … a rise in voting … a rise in Democrats stepping up and speaking up and doing the work of We The People … so let’s go:

Senate Republicans are seeking reassurances from the Regime on guardrails for Cankles $1.8 billion Reparations For Traitors fund to compensate people who attacked the Capitol because they were butt-hurt Cankles lost, was a loser, did not win, failed etc.

Playacting Attorney General, and Cankles’ Bitch, Todd Blanche met with Senate Republicans and it turned into a shriek-fest refused demands that the most violent Capitol rioters be barred from getting payouts.

Yes, he refused demands to pay off the most violent rioters.

 

As a presidential candidate, Cankles painted his opponents as trigger-happy interventionists who would get the US bogged down in forever wars, up to and including World War III.

And since we know every Cankles Accusation Is An Admission™ Cankles has racked up a list of countries he’s both threatened to attack and actually attacked and this week added Oman to the list because he doesn’t know where it is or what to call the people of Oman—seriously he threatened Oman if it tries to control the Strait of Hormuz along with Iran.

Oman is at least the 15th country that he has either threatened to attack, left open the possibility of attacking, or actually attacked during his two terms as Draft-Dodging-Warmonger-In-Chief.

 

Not for the first time, clearly suffering from dementia or being the dumbest human in the world, Cankles once again confused Iran with Venezuela again:

“I don’t go into war, I go into conflict… Despite the conflict with Venezuela who no longer has a navy, no longer has an air force, no longer has a lot of people that were leading the country into very bad places. Their leadership is gone. Their second is gone. We’re dealing with half of their third as half of their third is gone too.”

Demented and stupid.

Vice President JD CouchFucker Vance was mocked by, well, nearly everyone in the world, when he said during a speech on the economy:

“If you want to rebuild the American Dream for the next generation, vote against the crazy leadership in Washington, D.C.”

Finally the truth from someone in the regime.

 

The day the “Freedom 250” concert series was announced, rapper Young MC announced he was backing out of the government-sponsored partisan festival taking place on the National Lawn in Washington, D.C.. His exit followed Morris Day‘s statement that he and the Time didn’t have the, um, er, time to perform either.

Meanwhile, C+C Music Factory frontman Freedom Williams posted a profanity-laced message in saying they would also back out of the show after learning about Cankles Trump involvement but then he backtracked and said C+C Music Factory might go ahead with the gig after all, to show he was impervious to the backlash and because no one knows who C+C Music Factory is and they need the coins.

Last week Bret Michaels and Martina McBride withdrew from the line-up leaving just C+C Music Factory, Vanilla Ice, Milli Vanilli’s Fab Morvan,  Flo Rida and Kid Rock.

Sounds like a Who’s Who of Who’s That?

PS You cannot make this shiz up, but after so many people backed out of The Cankles Shit Show™ Cankles himself has announced he will headline the event.

 

Cankles is once again bragging about the latest rounds of tests he’s undergone at Walter Reed Military Medical Center:

“Unlike other U.S. Presidents, none of whom have ever taken an approved, high difficulty, Cognitive Test, I scored a perfect 30 out of 30, considered ‘extreme intelligence’ … In fact, this is my fourth such test, all PERFECT or, 120 correct answers out of 120 questions asked! It is very rare that anyone gets a Perfect Score, especially when achieved four times in a row.”

It’s also rare that anyone needs to take four cognitive tests in one year unless there’s something wrong … like they’re a demented fuckwit, perhaps?

Utah GOP Senator and Certified Lunatic™ Mike Lee left critics dumbfounded after posting on X that James Talarico, the Democratic nominee for Senate from Texas, would engage in religious child sacrifice:

“James Talarico will put you first… On the altar to Moloch.”

A reference to the ancient figure of Moloch mentioned in the Hebrew Bible and associated with child sacrifice.

Seriously.

 

South Carolina Senator and the reigning Miss Corn Hole, Lindsey Graham, one of the biggest war hawks in Congress, stopped by Fox News’ Hannity to discuss Cankles’ vow that any agreement to end the war should include a requirement for Middle Eastern countries—including Saudi Arabia and Qatar—to join the Abraham Accords, a treaty Cankles helped broker during his first term to normalize relations between Arab countries and Israel:

“If he can pull this off, if he can get Saudi Arabia—the center of Islam for the entire world—to recognize the Jewish state of Israel, he will have ended the Arab-Israeli conflict that’s been going on for thousands of years. They should change the Nobel Prize to the [Cankles] Prize.”

I believe he went on to also say they should redesign the Peace Prize to look like Cankles’ anus so Miss Lindsey could come by the White House and kiss it every day.

 

In an April 11 Truth Social post, Cankles wrote:

“The United States has completely destroyed Iran’s Military, including their entire Navy and Air Force, and everything else. Their Leadership is DEAD!”

This week he claimed:

“Their Navy is totally gone ... Their Air Force is totally gone ... Their military, we’ve sort of left it alone—because we think that their military is somewhat moderate. They have other people that aren’t moderate. We’ve taken them out. We’ve taking different forms of leadership out. We’ve actually left their military alone. People would be surprised to hear that. Because mistakes have been made in wars where you wipe out everybody and then you have a country that for 40 years can never rebuild.”

Again, the dementia is real.

James Talarico, the Democratic nominee for US Senate in Texas, raised more than $3 million in the first 24 hours after Texas AG and Criminal Ken Paxton emerged as his Republican opponent:

“Texans are uniting behind our campaign to defeat (Paxton) and the broken, corrupt political system he embodies.”

Good work Texas, now get out there and Vote Blue.

 

Gavin Newsom vowed to tax any payouts that California residents receive from that $1.8 billion Reparations For Traitors fund that Cankles created:

“Anyone from California that receives any of those funds, we want to tax 100% of those proceeds.”

Newsom’s pledge mirrors legislation unveiled in New York by Democrat Alex Bores, state assembly member and House candidate, that would also assess a 100% tax against payouts from the fund.

 

Last week US District Judge Christopher Cooper ordered that Cankles name be scraped off the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts and granted Democrat Representative Joyce Beatty’s request for a preliminary injunction to block Cankles from closing the institution.

The judge ordered Kennedy Center officials to scrape off Cankles’ name within two weeks.

Former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg is leading in new polling on a hypothetical Democratic presidential primary. A new Emerson College Polling survey puts Buttigieg at the top of the pack with 18% followed by California Governor Gavin Newsom at 165; AOC has 11% support, while Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro and former Vice President Kamala Harris are at 10% each.

 Sure it’s early but it’s already an impressive field compared to alleged GOP choices JD "CouchFucker" Vance and Marco "Where Am I" Rubio.

The No Kings Movement has announced a nationwide event for June 14 directly counter-programming Cankles Dementia celebrations and a Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) bout on the south lawn of the newly named White Trash House.

The centerpiece is a 90-minute concert at New York’s Town Hall featuring entertainer Bette Midler, songwriter Patti Smith, actor Jane Fonda, musician Rufus Wainwright and commentator Joy Reid – streaming free nationwide, while local groups host watch parties across the country.

The event is co-presented by the Committee for the First Amendment, a coalition of artists and cultural figures, and frames the US’s 250th anniversary as a moment of democratic reckoning. 

Get out and march and resist and cast a goddamned vote.

Ain't That America XLI

His ego inflates with talk of ballrooms and arches and god statues while his approval rates drop lower than his IQ. His minions circle the globe to say stupid things and he keeps taking dementia tests.

Oy, what a week …

This week the Gang of Six Racist and Stupid Supreme Court Justices dismantled the Voting Rights Act, actually saying that the racial gap in voter turnout has closed.

Which explains why many states in the South are now trying to redraw their Congressional maps to make everything all-white. As soon as the ruling came down Tennessee’s GOP-controlled legislature redrew the congressional district of Memphis, which has long enjoyed its own Democratic-leaning House seat and split it into three GOP-leaning districts.

If you don’t think this is a racist attempt to keep Black Americans from being represented in government, answer me this: would you choose to be Black in America today knowing what’s happening?

 

The British energy giant Shell reported robust profits following the surge in oil prices prompted by the Cankles war with Iran. Shell’s adjusted profits soared 24%, to $6.92 billion, in the first three months of the year from the same time last year.

Well, Big Oil and billionaires are certainly being paid handsomely by the war while the rest of America suffers. If only there was a way to stop this bull shiz …

 

Last October the Cankles Regime abruptly stopped paying third-parties for medical care provided to detainees in ICEstapo custody; third-party providers are used to provide “medically necessary” care including “dialysis, prenatal care, oncology, [and] chemotherapy” but no more of that for detainees; they can suffer and die, I guess.

 

Senate Republicans want to provide the Secret Service with $1 billion for “security adjustments and upgrades” related to the construction of Jeffrey Epstein Memorial Ballroom™.

Yes, it was supposed to be built and funded without taxpayer money and now the GOP wants YOU to pony up your share of a billion dollars for a ballroom no one other than the Pedophile In Chief wants.

 

The Department of Education opened an investigation into Smith College, an all-women’s institution in Massachusetts, for admitting transgender women.

The move is the latest by the Cankles Regime—whose rhetoric has frequently included attacks on trans people—to limit, and more likely end, transgender rights in America.

Ten years after celebrating his caucus victory at the Iowa State Fair, GOP Nutbag and Senator Rafael Cruz returned to Des Moines fueling chatter about a potential 2028 presidential bid. Cruz told the audience that the GOP is “winning historic victories” under Cankles’ second administration but failed to name one.

He also made no note of the fact that not only do Democrats despise him, so does the majority of the GOP so his little trip to Des Moines was a waste of time.

He should have gone to Cancun again.

 

Transportation Secretary and reality show “star” Sean Duffy blamed to collapse of Spirit airlines on both President Biden and former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg.

But Sean? Moron? How do you explain that you opposed bailing out Spirit Airlines saying there is no need for a federal bailout of any low-cost airline.

Sounds like another GOP liar.

 

The current US Senator from South Carolina, and former Miss Cotton Ball Queen 1924, Miss Lindsey Graham wants to arm the Iranian people to fight the Iranian government:

“I love the idea of empowering the Iranian people with weapons, a Second Amendment solution to make the Revolutionary Guard’s life hell. It’s one thing to be bombed by America. It’s another thing to have your neighbor shoot back at you because they’re tired of being slaughtered.”

Siddown, Sassy, and pour yourself another Mint Julep you ignorant fuck.

 

Health and Human Services Secretary, heroin addict and collector of raccoon penises Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is demanding hospitals stop serving sugary drinks and foods, including Jell-O.

Calley Means, one of Kennedy’s top lapdogs, is asking members of the public to report hospitals for their Jell-O usage because that’s so important … not the measles or the hantavirus.

It’s Jell-O.

 

Real estate magnate Steve Roth is standing strong with fellow billionaire Ken Griffin in his spat with New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani for suggesting billionaires should pay their fair share in taxes; Roth thinks the ultra-rich should be “praised and thanked” and also said this:

“I consider the phrase tax the rich … when spit out with anger and contempt by politicians both here and across the country, to be just as hateful as some disgusting racial slurs.”

Tax the rich is the new N-word, y’all.

 

This week Secretary of State Marco Rubio made the following statement about Iran:

“This is an international waterway; no country can control them. There is no international law that allows you to say, I’m going to put mines in an international body of water, and I’m going to blow up ships that don’t listen to us and try to go through. We cannot live in a world where a rogue state like this Iranian regime is allowed to claim, as a new normal, control over an international shipping lane.”

He’s right … but then since September last year, the US military has conducted 47 strikes on civilian marine vessels travelling in the Caribbean Sea and eastern Pacific Ocean, leading to over 190 deaths.

Maybe you should zip it, Little Marco.

A towering, gold-leaf statue of Cankles’ was unveiled with great fanfare at Cankles’ National Doral golf course, in a dedication ceremony that included a prayer from a MAGAt pastor even though Alan Cottrill, the artist behind the statue, called the whole thing a “clusterfuck”:

“I usually deal with people that have everything organized. From the start, this was chaos … and almost never, anytime whatsoever, does anyone miss a payment.”

That wasn’t the case with the 22-foot statue as demands to nix his vagina neck, AKA turkey neck, requests to make the model look, um, not so fat, and late payments soured Cottrill on the deal.

And when it went up his minions circled round and prayed while God was watched.

She was not amused at the false god idolatry.

 

Cankles once again went off script to brag once again to brag once again to brag about passing a test meant to detect cognitive decline linked to dementia:

“I’ve taken three. No president, think of this, has ever taken one.”

To be fair no other president has ever needed one, but then Cankles said the best thing ever, that he takes the test whenever someone calls him a moron.

Testing is a 24/7 gig at the Cankles White House.

PS The test he described―the Montreal Cognitive Assessment―is not an intelligence test but an exam to detect the signs of cognitive decline.

Why is he taking it so much? Asking for a country.

Violent crime in New York City remained at historically low levels through April, with the Bronx recording some of the steepest declines and department leaders said they are hoping to build on that progress ahead of the summer, when crime typically spikes as more people gather outdoors.

NYPD Commissioner Jessica Tisch said the crime declines are the result of a policing strategy focused on using data to remove illegal guns from the streets and dismantle violent gangs and criminal groups.

Huh. Removing guns, you say.

 

Americans are deeply uncomfortable with recent religion-related statements by Cankles and DUI Hire Pete Hegseth. In fact, 87% of Americans have a negative view of Cankles’ social media post appearing to depict himself as Jesus and 69% dislike Hegseth praying at the Pentagon for “overwhelming violence of action against those who deserve no mercy.”

When you allow rapists and drunks who cannot quote a favorite Bible verse or refer the Bible According to Pulp Fiction, you’ll have these issues.

 

Days after suspending Louisiana’s US House primaries, GOP Governor Jeff Landry is facing mounting backlash from residents in the form of a recall to remove him from office.

Good. His racist ass needs to be removed.

 

Madison Sheahan, a former top official with the ICEstapo, has lost the Republican primary in Ohio’s 9th district as what some see as a sign of how unpopular ICE has become amid an aggressive immigration crackdown in Cankles’ second term.

Good. Keep all these bigots and racists and criminals out of office.

And how do we do that …

The Funny Papers

Gary Huck, Michael de Adder, Max Espinoza, Clay Bennett, Mike Luckovich, Nick Anderson, Lalo Alcaraz, Pedro X Molina, Matt Wuerker

The Funny Papers

Michael de Adder, Clay Bennett, Ed Hall, Jack Ohman, Bill Day, Matt Davies, RJ Matson, Drew Sheneman, John Cole, Ted Littleford, Gary Markstein, Mike Luckovich