Snarky Thoughts

All right kids let’s make this queer: there is only one Cher, and there will always, only and ever be one Cher. I say this to the Twitterer who posted a clip of 27-year-old singer Dua Lipa and wrote:

“Dua Lipa, the Cher of our generation.”

And then Cher herself responded with:

“How many years are in a generation?”

My Thought: Come back in forty-five years if Dua Lipa is still recording and touring successfully or, failing that, come back when Dua Lipa has number one hits in six consecutive decades.

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There is nothing that can quench Madonna’s thirst for attention, but she wants everyone to know that she is obsessed with sex. Like she hasn’t said that every day since the late eighties, and even when she gave us a book that no one asked for called Sex. And then she also admitted that she regrets both her marriages, which must be lovely for the children she had with Guy Ritchie.

My Thought: Grandma needs a mental health day.

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Ozzy Osbourne revealed in a recent interview that he and his wife of 40 years Sharon Osbourne, plan to permanently move back to their native England in the next few months and that The U.S.’s political climate and frequent mass shootings are part of their reasoning.

My Thought: they’re moving back because Sharon’s big mouth has got her banned from TV in Americas and what else can she do?

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It turns out that video footage of JLo’s current wedding, where she performed at her own ceremony because, well, attention-seeking fame-whore, was leaked to the press, and JLo is steaming mad that someone would invade her privacy so.

My Thought: if it was all so personal and private, Jell-O, why did you sell the photos and the story and all kinds of intimate details to People magazine. Oh, wait, asked and answered:  attention-seeking fame-whore.

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Oh Stacey Dash, former actress, former Fox News bimbo, and Thing 45 lover, has made a fool of herself yet again, by posting a video of herself to TikTok where’s she crying over the death of DMX … who died of an overdose over a year ago.

My Thought: How is she going to react when she learns her career also died several years ago?

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I Ain;t One To Gossip But ...

Last summer Cuba Gooding Jr. was charged with ALLEGEDLY groping a woman in a nightclub. And though he turned himself in to police, he ended up pleading not guilty to the charges.

Now, there was some video evidence, but Cuba was sticking to his story. And he paid a team of lawyers to shame his accuser by challenging her metal state, but the judge was buying it; Cuba went to court to face those charges … and he was hit with different charges for a separate event.

Gooding showed up to court thinking he was there to deal with the sexual assault case against him, which he was, but it was a different sexual assault case when the Manhattan D.A. told the judge there was a different incident with Cuba and this was their basis for a new charge.

Must be hard trying to keep all those women you groped straight, so you know what charge you’re fighting when you go to court, eh Cuba?

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Rapper Cardi B probably doesn’t write her own stuff, but the girl knows how to mouth off.

Exhibit A: Cardi ranting about Access Hollywood and a story on her in which they claim that Cardi’s daughter, Kulture—is she a Kardastrophe—calls someone else “mommy” because Cardi is working so much and never around. Cardi B lost her mind at this story, saying Access Hollywood “chopped up” her actual quote:

“A lot of people expect me to be in the studio, and then I gotta do other shit, like I filmed for Rhythm + Flow, I filmed for Hustlers, I’m working on fucking Fashion Nova … I’m sorry if I take time of my day that I could be five hours in the studio, but I’m spending five hours with my kid… Yes, I could have somebody babysit my kid, but it’s like, it’s a wack feeling when your kid don’t fucking…not even trying to fuck with you and try to call somebody else mommy.”

And she shamed Access Hollywood for chopping it up to create a narrative:

“That’s not what the fuck I said. Don’t use my motherfucking kid for clickbait bitch. Don’t fucking cut shit off, try to make me look like I’m a fuck-ass mom ‘cause that’s not something that I’m not.”

And she goes on:

“Access Hollywood suck my whole dick. Suck a dick, I hope your fucking mom catch AIDs, bitch.”

Wow, and she really is someone’s mother. Lovely.

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Former Fox News bimbo, and conservative tool for the party of Family Values, Stacey Dash, was recently arrested for domestic battery until her victim-husband bailed her out and dropped the charges.

That should have been a sign to shut up and move on, but when you’re Stacey Dash and you live for publicity, well, talk talk talk.

Dash is claiming that her recent time in jail for domestic battery was a result of a “martial spat that escalated” and that it happens to normal couples.

Huh? Bitch please.

“Like normal married couples my husband and I had a martial dispute that escalated.”

Sorry Stacey, I’ve been with Carlos 19 years and we’ve had spats and fights, and never once has it “escalated” into physical assault.

That’s you.

PS Stacey Dash was held in the Land O’ Lakes detention facility in Florida. Seriously? A butter-churning detention center? I thought that would be just for farmers or Amish people.

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Ricardo Chavira played Eva Longoria’s TV husband on Desperate Housewives and so maybe that’s why he had some thoughts on Felicity Huffman getting a soft slap on the wrist for her involvement in the Operation Varsity Blues scandal.

He was pissed, and maybe not just because his TV wife, Eva Longoria wrote a glorious letter to the judge asking him to go easy on Felicity; what, like give her three days instead of fourteen. Bitch please. Anyway, Chavira doesn’t seem to think Felicity is all that, and took to Twitter, because, of course, to vent:

“White Privilege. And I saw Eight years’ worth of it, so I know what I’m talking about. Accountability and Responsibility don’t mean shit to these people. … I’ve seen a lifetime of it being a halfbreed, and I’ve struggled with the intricacies of it on a daily basis with all the cultural bias I’ve received on both ends. But whatever. Slap on the wrist. Sorry, but this shit.”

And it is, because Felicity, while she sort of accepted responsibility, also said she was just trying to get her daughter a break because it’s tough out there for the child of millionaire celebrities.

I’m #TeamChavira because he’s right and he’s hot and I’m shallow.

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And also because I’m shallow, I’m gonna end with Angelina Jolie at the premiere of Maleficent: Mistress of Evil looking regal radiant and fierce.

That’s all.

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It's Snarkurday!

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I Didn't Say It ...

Brit Hume, on what it means to be transgender [Hint: he has no f**king clue]:

“This standard by which one becomes transgendered seems to be a little vague and hard to pin down. I mean, are you transgender because you have had surgery to change your sexual makeup, your body parts? Or are you transgendered because you decide at a given moment that you would prefer to be a member of the sex into which you were not born? One might argue that this is, you know, something that the Democrats always … saying Republicans are anti-science. Well, if science and biology is a — science is a determining factor here, you really don’t become transgendered until you had some sort of physical metamorphosis, in which your anatomy is changed. So, Caitlin Jenner for an example, would though she clearly prefers the idea that she is a woman, might not qualify that way. I think it’s very odd to think of the possibility of people with the opposite sex’s body parts taking showers in the locker room of the other sex. It just seems to me to be something that people will find very strange and not welcome.”

What I find strange, and not very welcome, are people like this f**kwad, Brit Hume, discussing transgender persons without doing a single iota of research.

Until you open a book, or talk to a trans person, or a doctor, or a scientist, why don’t you take a seat, Brit, and let the grown-ups talk?

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Bernie Sanders, on [t]Rump backing out of debating him: 

“I would have looooved. Let me just say this. First he said he would do it. Then he said he wouldn’t do it. Then he said he would do it. Then he said he wouldn’t do it. So, I would hope that if he changed his mind four times in two days, change it a fifth time. You know, Trump claims to be a real tough guy, pushes people around. Hey, Donald, come on up. Let’s have a debate about the future of America.”

The best thing I saw about [t]Rump pulling out of the debate was a meme that said no one should be surprised because, for years and years, chickens have been petrified of men named Sanders.

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Barney Frank, on Bernie Sanders:

"The Democratic Party. The party that gave this country its first African-American President; the party that is poised to give this country its first woman nominee of a major party, very likely its first woman President; a party chaired by a Jewish woman; a party which features the first openly gay member of the United States Congress on the party's rules committee; isn't "progressive" enough, or inclusive enough, according to a 75 year old straight white male, who "white flighted" his way out of the most ethnically diverse city in the country, to the whitest state in the northeast United States, and who just passed his 1 year anniversary of declaring himself a member of the party, that he thinks that he is the only fit candidate to be the party's nominee for President. A nomination which if he can't secure it by the ballot, has threatened to secure it by lawsuits, and more than just hinted at violence. Am I getting this right?" 

Well, when you put it that way …

Look, I like Bernie, and I like that Bernie is getting his voice heard, but Bernie does not represent the democratic party as a whole and he needs to realize that.

He also needs to realize when to step aside.

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Trey Pearson, Christian rock star, on coming out as gay:

 “I grew up in a very conservative Christian home where I was taught that my sexual orientation was a matter of choice, and had put all my faith into that. I had never before admitted to myself that I was gay, let alone to anyone else. I never wanted to be gay. I was scared of what God would think and what all of these people I loved would think about me; so it never was an option for me. I have been suppressing these attractions and feelings since adolescence.  I’ve tried my whole life to be straight. I married a girl, and I even have two beautiful little kids. My daughter, Liv, is six and my son, Beckham, is two. [But] I finally decided to come out because I couldn’t keep trying to be something that I wasn’t. … I realized the only way I was ever going to be my best for [my children] was to be healthy myself.”

And that’s the best lesson to teach your children: love and self-acceptance.

Welcome out, Trey.

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Stacey Dash, Clueless actress and clueless Fox News talking head bimbo, on transgender persons and bathrooms:

“It’s tyranny by the minority. Why do I have to suffer because you can’t decide what you wanna be that day? … It’s your body! So, it’s your decision, right? We all make choices. OK, then go in the bushes. I don’t know what to tell you, but I’m not gonna put my child’s life at risk because you want to change a law,  that you can be comfortable with your beliefs — which means I have to change my beliefs and my rights? No.”

Dash is also promoting a book she “write” that details her years of drug abuse so maybe her lack of a brain that fully functions can be blamed on her past.

Failing hat she should just shut the f**k up.

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Another Christmas Asshat: Stacey Clueless Dash

Stacey Dash used to be an actress. She was marginally successful in Clueless — which was, perhaps, an omen of her future life — but she’s really just a bit part actress  looking for a line to read.

Then came Mitt Romney vying for the White against Barack Obama, and Dash, an African American woman, Tweeted her support for the Republican; as is her right. Lotsa folks jumped on the Dump Dash bandwagon but then Fox News got a brilliant idea, why no augment our white old men, white blond women line-up of pundits with an actual woman of color and suddenly Stacey Dash was the newest addition to the news channel which everyone with half a brain knows lies nearly all the time.

And Dash fit right in.

I have no idea what qualifications she has to be a Fox correspondent or to be called an expert on the channel, because she’s really just an unemployed bad actress before she got the call and became the darling of the wingnuts from the network; like when she said this about Republican opposition to same-sex marriage:

“We [Republicans] are for equal marriage. We’re not against that at all. We believe that everyone should have the same right.”

Well, we all know that’s a load of hooey, because look at every single lawsuit filed against states where same-sex marriage is legal and you will find that they were filed and supported by Republicans.

See, Stacey’s dumb. 

Of course, then she tried a different tack when she was asked about that blatant open in-your-face opposition among many Republicans towards the legalization of same-sex marriage:

“That’s just propaganda, it’s not true. You know? That’s just a certain amount of people. You can’t just throw a blanket over everyone because certain people have one opinion.”

A “certain amount of people” that all identify as Republicans. But that isn’t why Stacey Dash, failed actress, and future failed “news’ pundit is our Christmas asshat. No, she took an extra dose of stupid recently when discussing  a recent Census Bureau report showing that 65% of American children are living in a home receiving some sort of government assistance, she whipped out the “slavery” anecdote” and then whipped out her less-than-smart statements:

“This is the Democratic party’s new version of slavery to me, I am a believer in the American dream. But as long as you are told where you have to live, what you have to eat, what you have to wear, where you have to go to school, you will never know the true meaning of expression. And, the power and value of self achievement. You’ll never know what that is.”

Okay, let’s hold up. She doesn’t think children should be told where to live, what to eat and what to wear and where to go to school? Isn’t that why most children have parents because children do not make those decisions for themselves?

Stacey? You’re dumb.

And Stacey? Stop playing the “slavery” card because the only thing that is like slavery is actual slavery.

I think I was wrong; Stacey Dash isn’t stupid, she’s an asshat, and just in time for Christmas.
ForwardProgressives

Random Musings

Overheard at Home: 
Bob: "Maya Angelou died today."
Carlos: "Oh. I'm sorry to hear that."
Bob: "Yeah, she had a pretty incredible life."
Carlos: "Now, which aunt is that — ?"
Bob: "What?"
Carlos: "Is that your aunt from Virginia?"
Goddess love him, eh?

I like a good beer, but I especially like one that tastes like equality.

Out in Idaho Crooked Fence Brewing has released a new brew taking aim at their anti-marriage equality governor, C.L. 'Butch' Otter. Their new India brown ale is being called "Little Bitch Otter."

Crooked Fence Brewing co-owner and marketing director Kelly Knopp:

"Anyone that is going to try to take away freedoms or not let someone be equal, Crooked Fence is against."

Knopp also says a portion of opening day sales will go directly to Add the Words Idaho, and the Pride Foundation.

Good brew!

I didn't watch Lifetime's Flowers in the Attic or the sequel Petals on the Wind because they sounded kinda stupid and kinda soft-core lady porn.

But then I saw actor Wyatt Nash, who co-stars in Petals, and, while I still won't watch it, i may be on the lookout for him.

Well, well, well, count me in.

The U.S. Census Bureau will start categorizing gay married couples as families. Gay married couples are families? Who knew?

The 2013 American Community Survey results, which will be reported in September, will, for the first time, integrate the estimated 180,000 same-sex married couples into the nation’s 56 million families.

We count! We really count!

Okay, so y’all know I’ve taken shots at Justin Bieber in this here bloggy thing because he’s kind of a spoiled little douche, a Sizzurp-slurping, weed-smoking, drag-racing, law-breaking, egg-tossing, fan-hating, misogynist, but, you know, every once in a while even a puissant like The Biebs does something right.

At a recent event for amfAR [American Foundation for AIDS Research] Bieber was listening as one man stepped up with a donation of $545,000 to the charity and he decided, quietly, to match the offer with his own 545K.

His act of generosity apparently stunned the crowd, and also stunned organizers who asked him if he was serious; he was.

I’ll give him props for that.

After cutting Jessica Urbina’s picture from the yearbook because she was wearing a tuxedo, the Sacred Heart Cathedral Prep school in San Francisco has apologized for their asshatted move.

School president John Scudder Jr. and Principal Gary Cannon applauded the students who stood up for, and stood by, Jessica:

“Given the nature of this specific case, we believe that decision, while conforming with our policy, was wrong.”

School officials now say the dress code will be updated to no longer require female students to wear dresses in an effort to be more sensitive every student’s gender identity.

Too bad, though, that Jessica won’t appear in this year’s yearbook.

I was surfing this here Interwebz and I came across this headline over at Towleroad:

‘CLUELESS' ACTRESS STACEY DASH JOINS FOX NEWS

Clueless, indeed. Sometimes these things just write themselves!

Florida … of course … Republican … naturally … Representative  Charles Van Zant has said that the American Institute for Research, a testing company administering new statewide tests for students, has a pro-homosexual agenda because it has done research on LGBT issues. 

Speaking at an education conference, Van Zant said the testing program would "attract every one of your children to become as homosexual as they possibly can."

Yeah, that old indoctrination lie. But it’s a Republican from Florida so did anyone really expect common sense, or even the truth?

Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t posted about 22-year-old Elliot Rodger’s murder spree in Santa Barbara last week.

Well, it’s because I’m tired. I’m tired of everyone getting all riled up about these things when they happen and demanding that gun laws change and then doing nothing about it. I am tired of our elected officials using these murders as a chance to speak about gun control and then go back to their cushy jobs and do nothing about it.

We don’t want gun control, as a nation, because if we did we would demand it, and we would vote out of office every single Republican, Democrat, Independent, and Teabagger who is in the pocket of the NRA. But we don’t, so we don’t care about gun control.

Until it hits close to home, as happened to Richard Martinez, whose son Christopher was murdered by Elliot Rodger. Martinez wants members of Congress and others to stop calling him to offer condolences for his son's death, and he wants them to do something:

"I don’t care about your sympathy. I don’t give a s— that you feel sorry for me. Get to work and do something. I’ll tell the president the same thing if he calls me. Getting a call from a politician doesn’t impress me. … They talk about gun rights. What about Chris' right to live?! When will this insanity stop? When will enough people say, 'Stop this madness?' We don't have to live like this! Too many have died. We should say to ourselves, 'Not. One. More.' … I’m angry with the leadership of the NRA who always want to characterize this as if it’s a lone madman. That it’s an act of nature we have to tolerate. I am angered by how they have worked to normalize this. … I will go anywhere and do anything to support political candidates who are running for office who are in favor of reasonable gun control. … You don’t need three handguns with 400 rounds (of ammunition). That’s crazy. It’s a matter of proportion.”

Hopefully Martinez, who is meeting with Elliot Rodger’s father to create a plan to have stricter gun laws enacted, will be the one to do something.

So we won’t have to hear about these stories again.

Now, onto some better news …

St. Paul’s Hospital in Vancouver, British Columbia, has shut down its dedicated AIDS ward, saying they no longer have enough patients — and the end of AIDS is in sight.

Ward 10C opened in February 1997 during the peak of the HIV and AIDS epidemic in Vancouver, when approximately one person was dying of AIDS every day. Earlier diagnosis of HIV, along with advances in treatment and care, has resulted in a significant decrease of AIDS. Patients living with HIV will continue to receive world-leading treatment and care. The focus of the ward will include treatment related to addictions such as various bacterial and viral infections like chronic hepatitis.

British Columbia's number of AIDS cases has dropped by 90% since 1995.

Perhaps an end is in sight?

And more good news …

Orange is the New Black actress and trans activist Laverne Cox will be the cover-girl on the June 9th issue of TIME Magazine and took to Facebook to spread the word:

“What a wonderful bday present! Yes today is my birthday and I am on the cover of @TIME magazine. I realize this is way bigger than me and about a tipping point in our nation's history where it is no longer acceptable for trans lives to be stigmatized, ridiculed, criminalized and disregarded. This is for my trans siblings out there and for anyone who has ever been told that who you know yourself to be at your core is not legitimate. You are who you know yourselves to be. #girlslikeus #whereislavernecox #lavernehive”

The times continue to change, eh?