I Ain't One ToGossip, But ...

Well, watch your children’s college applications because College Admissions Scam Criminal Lori Loughlin has done her time and is out of jail.

Sadly, because you know Lori was hoping for a mob of photographers, no one met her at the gate because the press is busy dragging another self-entitled delusional white bitch—see that story below—and Lori was met only by her chauffeur who took her to a private plane that whisked her back to her manse and staff.

Prison is hard for a bitch.

Lori will be on supervised release for two years and must complete 250 hours of community service. I hope they have her scrubbing toilets while wearing a generic ankle bracelet and orange jumpsuit.

On that same topic, her fellow College Admissions Scandal jailbird Felicity Huffman is out of jail and already back to work as an actress.

I think Lori will have a tougher time booking gigs since her image is wholesome Hallmark Aunt Becky and not prison bitch.

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Now, howsabout about that other delusional one-percenter I hinted at: Hilaria Baldwin? There have been rumors for years that Hilaria was lying about her past, and now the story has come to light.

She has claimed to be Spanish, hence the Hilaria, and even rocked a Spanish accent, albeit one that went in and out like a dick in a porn film, but is she really an American girl lying? No one ever talked about the escándalo until now, after a Twitter thread appeared—and has since disappeared—accusing Hillary of a decades-long lie about her Spanish origins.

Hilaria’s CAA page, her IMDb bio and her Wikipedia page claim she was born in Mallorca and later moved to America, and she said in a podcast earlier this year:

“I moved here [to America] when I was 19 to go to NYU from… my family lives in Spain, they live in Mallorca.”

Hilaria was on the cover of Hola! Magazine where she was identified as Spanish in both the interview and its press release, and husband Alec Baldwin often calls her ‘Spanish’ online. She’s made many appearances in Latina magazines where she refers to Spain as her “home.”

And here’s more: there are videos of Hilaria on a talk shows, like Good Morning America, where she spoke with a Spanish accent, to a Today show cooking segment where she acted as though she could not remember the English word for “cucumber.”

How do you say in your country? Lying hypocrite?

Last fall, Hilaria pushed the fashion brand Zara on her podcast, saying in that on-and-off accent of hers, that  she has loved the label since “before I was in this country.’’

Trouble is, Hilaria’s real name is Hillary, according to an old MySpace page, friends from her past, and school records. She attended private school in Massachusetts, and in her senior yearbook is listed as Hillary Hayward-Thomas. It’s similar to what Rachel Dolezal—the white woman who claimed to be black—did only Hillary wanted to be Spanish.

Well, now Hillary is defending herself in a bonkers new Instagram video in which she has no Spanish accent at all and claims all of her lies about her background just a misunderstanding, and she never misrepresented herself. Bitch, your husband called you Spanish; your agent called you Spanish; you actually uttered the line:

“How do you say in English? ‘Cucumber’.”

Bitch, please. But she still claims she grew up in Boston and Spain, even though there is no evidence that she spent more than a couple of years vacationing in Spain, and then admitted she was born in Boston as Hillary and has no Spanish ancestry.

Seriously, why? Why? And why Alec played along is crazy, too. He took to social media to trash the Twitter user broke the story of Hillary’s lifelong lie in a bizarre Instagram rant where he compared the truth-teller to “used coasters with the rings on them and the stains on them.”

Huh? Is that Spanish for something? Even Ireland Baldwin, Alec’s daughter from his marriage to Kim Basinger, defended Hillary:

“It’s so pathetic that anyone would want to play detective and dig that deep into someone’s life they don’t know anything about, don’t know how they were raised, don’t know who they were actually raised by.”

Is that pathetic, Ireland, or is it pathetic to lie and pretend you’re Spanish when you aren’t? Take a seat, Karen.

Alec reappeared on social media, again, and once more dragged the Twitter sleuth, telling the world to “consider the source.” We did, Alec, and the “source” is your wife’s American birth certificate.

Okurrrrrr.

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Finally, a movie I’m longing to see … Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum are set to star in a movie that sounds like a reboot with all new people of Romancing the Stone, but their film is called The Lost City of D. Sounds like a film where Sandra is on the hunt for Channing’s dick.

Funny, I’m on that same hunt and no one offered to have me star in a movie about it.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Mitt Romney, comparing himself to _____:

“His first year is very similar to things I’d have done my first year. The things he’s actually done have been better than I expected.”

Mock the disabled? State that some racists are good people? Screw the environment? Incite world war?

Hey Mittsy? F**k off.

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Lance Bass, on why he never came out while NSYNC was together:

“The thing I want to say here today is something I’ve been trying to put into words maybe my whole life. Growing up in Mississippi and in a Southern Baptist church, in a town where everyone knows your business, I had a secret. I was gay. … And at the time, I thought that I would never be able to tell anyone because not only was I terrified of the lasting rejection … I was certain that that would happen … but more than that I didn’t want to jeopardize the careers of these guys up here, much less the hundreds of amazing people who worked tirelessly to bring NSYNC to the world. I thought if I had come out, NSYNC would be over. So I kept my secret. And our wildest dreams were coming true and we were so incredibly thankful. And I still am. But so many nights on stage, I’d see so many young, gay fans singing their hearts out and I wanted so badly to let you know, I was you. I just didn’t have the strength then. But I do today and so let me say loud and proud to all my LGBT brothers and sisters, who embrace me and show me the way to be who I am, thank you so much.”

No matter how famous you are, coming out is a personal journey and no one can take that first step for you.

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John McCain, on this current term being his last:

“This is my last term. If I hadn’t admitted that to myself before this summer, a stage 4 cancer diagnosis acts as ungentle persuasion. I’m freer than colleagues who will face the voters again. I can speak my mind without fearing the consequences much. And I can vote my conscience without worry. [_____] has declined to distinguish the actions of our government from the crimes of despotic ones. The appearance of toughness, or a reality show facsimile of toughness, seems to matter more than any of our values.”

Too bad McCain never thougt to speak up before his diagnosis, but he’s what’s wrong with career politicans: once elected all they worry about s being reelected and pandering to their base and the lobbyists who support them.

That’s why we need to vote them all out, every single time.

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Stephen Colbert, on the White House Correspondents Association after they dogged Michelle Wolf for her routine:

“Look, you didn’t like [it], you have that right. Don’t invite her back again, but grow a pair. This was a roast! And you’re the ones who hired Michelle Wolf! Being mad at her for doing her job is like accusing the valet of briefly stealing your car. And stop acting like you’re surprised. I thought news people did research! But you’re telling me you couldn’t spend 90 seconds on YouTube to find out what her act was like? As a great man once said, ‘Fake News.'”

True dat. You don’t ask Michelle Wolf to perform because you think she’ll be sweetness and light, you ask her to perform because she will bring it.

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Roseanne Barr, on the anger over her support for _____;

“Oh yeah, people are mad about that. But, you know, I don’t give a f**k …. Well everybody had to choose for themselves according to their own conscience who they thought was the lesser of two evils. You know, everybody chose that. So, I’m not gonna put anybody down who didn’t vote like me. This is America. It’s a free country. And, you know, when you weigh it all together, you know, I just felt like we needed a whole new thing, all the way, bottom to top.”

Trouble is, you tool, you voted for a man who has never done one single thing to help anyone but himself, and never a thing to help the very character you play on TV.

And, since you’ve always played up your support of the LGBT community, how do you explain voting for this anti-LGBT idiot?

Oh yeah, you can’t, so why don’t you STFU.

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Kanye West, on his “breakdown” last year being caused by an opioid addiction after plastic surgery:

“Two days before [the onstage meltdown] I was in the hospital. I was on opioids. I was addicted to opioids. I had plastic surgery because I was trying to look good for y’all. I got liposuction because I didn’t want y’all to call me fat like y’all called Rob at the wedding and made him fly home before me and Kim got married. I was taking two pills a day at that time,” he said. “When I left the hospital how many pills do you think I was given? Seven. I went from taking two pills to taking seven. The reason why I dropped those tweets and everything is because I was drugged the f–k out bro, and I’m not drugged out … these pills that they want me to take three of a day, I take one a week maybe, two a week. Ya’ll had me scared of myself, of my vision, so I took some pills so I wouldn’t go the hospital and prove everyone right. We are drugged out. We are following other people’s opinions. We are controlled by the media and today it all changes.”

See? It’s your fault Kanye was addicted to drugs. Cuz you would have called him fat and he couldn’t handle it so he took drugs and had liposuction because of you.

Seriously. This ass acts the fool and takes zero responsibility.

But, then how do we explain his “slavery is a choice” lunacy now if he’s no longer an addict?

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Laura Ingraham, Fox News tool, on Giuliani contradicting her Hair Furor’s claims that he didn’t know about Michael Cohen’s payment to Stormy Daniels:

“Did Trump pay it after April 6th? The left is jumping all over that tonight, saying, ‘What the heck? He did know, he didn’t know? Rudy’s on TV?’ What’s going on here? You have the president on tape on Air Force One saying he did not know about the payment, and you’ll have to ask Michael Cohen about that. [Then] Rudy just goes on with Hannity and says ‘Oh no, he reimbursed them.’ I love Rudy, but they better have an explanation for that [because] that’s a problem.”

Y’think? Asshat.

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Camille Cosby, going cray after her husband’s guilty verdict in his sex abuse case:

“The overall media, with their frenzied, relentless demonization of him and unquestioning acceptance of accusers’ allegations without any attendant proof, have superseded the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments, which guarantee due process and equal protection, and thereby eliminated the possibility of a fair trial and unbiased jury. Bill Cosby was labelled as guilty because the media and accusers said so… period … Since when are all accusers truthful? History disproves that…for example, Emmett Till’s accuser immediately comes to mind. In 1955, she testified before a jury of white men in a Mississippi courtroom that a 14-year-old African American boy had sexually assaulted her, only to later admit several decades later in 2008 that her testimony was false."

Oh Camille, you knew all along this shiz was going down, so you need to close your mouth. It isn’t one woman, or two, or even three. It’s fifty-seven women telling the same story, and for you to compare your rapist husband to Emmett Till is disgusting.

You knew, but didn’t want your lifestyle to be disrupted so you carried his secrets and shame.

You’re just as guilty.

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Sandra Bullock, on foster care, adoption, and her two children:

“Look: I’m all for Republican, Democrat, whatever, but don’t talk to me about what I can or can’t do with my body until you’ve taken care of every child who doesn’t have a home or is neglected or abused … Let’s all just refer to these kids as ‘our kids.’ Don’t say ‘my adopted child.’ No one calls their kid their ‘IVF child’ or their ‘oh, sh-t, I went to a bar and got knocked-up child.’ Let just say, ‘our children.’ Lou is supersensitive. I call him my 78-year-old son. He’s like Shecky Greene, a Jewish Catskills comic. He’s wise and kind. I saw that when they handed him to me. There was a spiritual bigness to him. I was like, “I hope I don’t eff that up.” And Laila is just unafraid. She’s a fighter, and that’s the reason she’s here today. She fought to keep her spirit intact. Oh my god, what she is going to accomplish. She’s going to bring some real change.”

I remember years ago reading the obituary of George Burns, and it said he was survived by his daughter and adopted son. He adopted the boy as an infant and yet some sixty-odd years later he was still the “adopted” son.

I’m with Bullock on this one. Quit with the labels.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

When last we left Taylor Swift and Katy Perry they were throwing shade at one another in interviews and on Twitter. Oh, they never say each other’s name, but it’s clear TayTay’s pissy with KayKay, and vice versa; about backup dancers and John Mayor, fer chrissakes!

And now Katy has upped the feud by cozying up to one of Swifty’s many, many, ex-boyfriends … Harry Styles … boyband Harry Styles.

A source — and we know it’s Katy “anonymously” fanning the flames of PopTartFeud — says Katy has been openly flirting with the tween-star:  “Katy had her hand on his arm and was playing with her hair – she was being really obvious.”

And so, naturally, someone passed a note to Taylor in English class and now a source from Taylor’s camp — and you know it’s actually Taylor because the other people in Taylor’s camp are probably grown-ups with real  problems — says:  “Taylor thinks Katy orchestrated this whole thing just to mess with her. It makes her blood boil that Katy has this sweet-as-pie image when she’s one of the most conniving girls in Hollywood. Taylor calls her ‘the evil one’ – that’s how much she hates her.”

Pot.Kettle … Both of you need to clam up, or maybe there should be a food fight in the cafeteria after school and settle this once and for all.

What do you give the child who has everything … except two parents who are constantly running around the globe without her?

Well, if you’re baby NorthSouthEastWest, you get dolls that look just like mommy Kim Kardastrophe and daddy KrayKray West so you never ever start thinking the nannies are your real parents.

I guess that’s easier than actually having to be around your child. And I imagine Kimye will commission talking I Love You NorthSouthEastWest dolls soon enough.

After kicking off her tour in Tokyo things started going downhill for Mariah Carey rather quickly.

First, her voice went, and then she dropped some hints during a cover of Billie Holiday’s ‘Don’t Explain’ that soon-to-be ex-husband Nick Cannon may have cheated on her.

In an audio recording from the show, you can hear Mimi change the lyrics from ‘Right or wrong don’t matter/And I know you cheat” to “I know you cheated, motherf–ker.”

First off, she’s no Jay Z when it comes to changing lyrics, and secondly I cannot imagine who would want Nick Cannon’s corny ass. But, if Mimi keeps this up, Tiny Bratz Doll Ariana Grande Latte will overtake her as the biggest diva in the world.

Short bites … rumors are swirling that Oprah wants to do a second season of the craptastic, lie-filled, Lindsay: On Her Own.

Seriously? That heifer needs to set down the cookies and think straight for a minute.

Y’all know that I think Gwyneth Paltrow is the worst, right? So high and mighty, so hardworking, such a great hardworking single mom with servants and million dollar paychecks; my.heart.bleeds. But what is fun about Goop is her feud with Domestic Diva, and Jailbird, Martha Stewart. 

What’s fun is how Martha laid down the law and told Paltrow she should stick to acting and stay out of the lifestyle game or risk being shivved at the Canyon Ranch spa during a mud bath. Or something.

And Gwyneth’s response? The “I don’t really care, I’m just being me” rant:

“First of all, no one has ever said anything bad about me before, so I’m shocked and devastated. I’ll try to recover. [She laughs] If I’m really honest, I’m so psyched that she sees us as competition. I’m so psyched. I really am. I think that when anybody criticizes anyone, it’s revealing more about where they are in time and space as opposed to where you are in time and space. I think generally we tend to lash out if we’re in a, you know it’s usually a reflection of something else.”

Bitch please. To say that Martha Stewart has anything to be intimidated by from Gwyneth “Harvey Weinstein Bought Me An Oscar” Paltrow is the height of hilarity. And it ain’t over because, you know, Martha always gets the last word, but that story is coming up …

So, The Brawlin’ Palins … a new police report details the fight that broke out at an Anchorage house party that including some of the Palin clan, like Blister, that blight on the family’s ass, who punched the host several times in the face.

No arrests were made, and no one wanted to press charges, but according to the report officers responded to the party after a report of a fight among about 20 people outside. According to incident reports, Blister, the grown-assed, single-mother, unemployed daughter of Mama Grizzly Bore™ punched the homeowner, Korey Klingenmeyer, several times and at one point ended up on the ground herself.

But the biggest and bestest part? Remember when the story broke and MGB™ took to Facebook to laugh the whole thing off as a lie because she wasn’t even in Alaska that night? Yeah, lie. The reports says that even though MGB™ was there, she didn’t throw any punches because, well, maybe she was drunk and passed out on the family snowmobile?

That sounds feasible … the family that brawls together falls together..

Well, we’re still waiting for the next Tom Cruise Handpicked Wife Pageant to begin, after a series of false starts.

First, he was rumored to be “romancing” his Mission: Impossible 5 co-star, Rebecca Ferguson because she was a Nicky Kidman look-a-like — how creepy is that, Tommy? But then he moved on from her and was set-up with Scientology robot, and OITNB actress Laura Prepon after a brief audition from Elisabeth Moss. And there were rumors that actress — writing that makes me laugh — and dancer, Julianne Hough, was on the short list, but then people began laughing about Tommy dating schoolgirls again — after practically marrying Katie Holmes at her high school prom — so he never went for Hough at all.

And now he’s set to make his move, ALLEGEDLY, and the National Enquirer says Tom’s ready to make his move with a woman closer to his own age, Sandra Bullock.

Oh.God.No. Run, Sandy, run.

According to the tabloid, friends of Tommy and Sandy are trying to set the two up for romance in what may be Hollywood’s hottest love new love match after Sandy’s divorce from her serial cheating husband, and after Tom’s third wife escaped the Cruise Compound with a sheet and a flashlight.

This story can’t be true. I mean, maybe it’s true that Tom’s people are putting out tabloid feelers but does anyone with half a brain think Sandra Bullock, sane, level headed down to earth Sandra Bullock, would ever hook-up, much less marry, Tiny Egomaniac Tommy Grrl Cruise?

Seriously? I mean look at that picture and the look on Sandy's face and the way she's leaning way back. Seriously, she's like someone get crazy away from me!

More tabloid gossip? Okay … Star Magazine is running a story that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s marriage is on the rocks after Ben had an affair with Gone Girl co-star Emily Ratajkowski. And after his addiction to gambling kept getting him thrown out of casinos.

Now, Star doesn’t outright accuse Ben of cheating because, well, lawsuit, but they do drop a lot of hints that there was some nasty happening and that Jennifer found out and so Ben pays the price … by gushing about his wife in interviews which has insiders whispering that their lovey-dovey talk is hiding their marital crisis.

Which began when Ben handpicked — pun intended — Emily to play his lover in the film, and then got really close to her during filming because, well, research?

Research, indeed. And this isn’t the first time Ben’s been accused of cheating; he boinked a stripper while dating JLo and rumor has it he was very close to Blake Lively during the filming of The Town.

And where there’s smoke, there’s Jennifer Garner burning Ben’s suits on the back lawn.

What is it with British men having babies left and right, all willy nilly, and with whomever?

First we had High Grant knocking up two different women at the same time, and now comes word that Jude Law impregnated yet another woman whom he is no longer dating.

Here’s the story: Jude Law and Sadie Frost were married for years, and had three children together. They split up around the time Jude was filming Cold Mountain, and it was rumored he had an affair with Nicole Kidman.  After Sadie dumped Jude he began boinking Sienna Miller until he began banging his kids’ nanny. Then Jude a one night stand with Samantha Burke which resulted in another baby, daughter Sophia.

Skip ahead to today because Jude got his ex-girlfriend Catherine Harding pregnant.

Does he have an aversion to birth control? Or is he trying to out-hugh Grant?

I guess when your TV show bombs and you no longer have a regular paycheck, you need to cut back on expenses, right? I mean, how else can we explain why Halle Berry, who was ordered last spring to pay 16K a month in child support to her ex-baby-daddy, Gabriel Aubry, along with over $100,000 in missed child support payments. And that was reduced from the monthly 20K she’d been court ordered to pay in 2012.

Now, Halle’s pissed, and unemployed, and complaining that Aubry he has been living off child support, and she wants it stopped; or at least she wants her payments lowered from 16K a month to 3K. She says Gabriel is perfectly capable of getting a job and that by reducing the support it will force him to get a job — and then she’ll say he can’t parent because he’s always working — and she says 3K a month is a nice dome for daughter Nahla to have a comfortable life — though not as comfortable as life with Mama which then means Halle will say Nahla is better off with her.

Halle needs to stop; she made a baby with a man and then moved on with another man, with whom she made another baby. She needs to stop.

I mean, who does she think she is, Jude Law? Hugh Grant?

Back to Martha’s feud with Goop, and Martha’s latest high-larious salvo.

In the new issue of Martha Stewart Living, Martha went full-out assault badass on Paltrow by playing off Gwyneth’s break-up announcement that she and Chris Martin were “consciously uncoupling.”

Here’s the page in the magazine and here’s what it says:

“Every Thanksgiving table should be blessed with the presence of a long-married pair who bring out the best in each other, are completely enamored despite their differences, and leave every other guest thinking, I’ll have what they’re having. Our holiday pies honor such so there’s a pleasant mix of textures and flavors in every bite. No matter how you slice partnerships, each spotlighting the perfect marriage of crust and filling these six irresistible desserts, there is a whole lot to love.”

As you can see, “perfect marriage” is in BOLD!! Martha knows how to salt a wound.

Score: Stewart 2, Paltrow 1.

And what’s next? Jennifer Lawrence on the cover of Martha Stewart Living.

I.Can’t.Wait.

And, speaking of Jennifer Lawrence … We know Martha has a Goop Voodoo doll, but now even JLaw is taking swipes at Paltrow and her “lifestyle.”

In a new interview with Vanity Fair, Lawrence puts herself firmly in the bread-and-pasta crowd, saying gluten-free is “the new cool eating disorder, the ‘basically I just don’t eat carbs.’”

Now, that could be JLaw throwing shade at Goop because Paltrow is more famous now for her ALLEGED healthy eating than she is for her acting and recently published a cookbook of her favorite gluten-free recipes.

I sense a JLaw-MStew tag-team and I’m loving it.

I Didn't Say It ....

Sandra Bullock, on rumors she's dating Captain America, Chris Evans:

"We’ve since married and it started breaking apart, so we separated. We filed for divorce, and I hope everyone can respect our privacy. But we’re going to remain friends and share responsibility of the farm animals we’ve taken on, because you just can’t abandon the animals."

I love that she turns it into the usual Hollywood spin, as a joke.

But, yum, Chris Evans; if it’s true she’s one lucky girl!

Barbara Crabb, federal judge, in her marriage equality decision for Wisconsin:

“This case is not about whether marriages between same-sex couples are consistent or inconsistent with the teachings of a particular religion, whether such marriages are moral or immoral or whether they are something that should be encouraged or discouraged…. Quite simply, this case is about liberty and equality, the two cornerstones of the rights protected by the United States Constitution. ... Civil marriage is a legal construct, not a biological rule of nature, so it can be and has been changed over the years.”

Snap. I hope other judges in other states read her ruling and understand it.

Gordon Klingenschmitt, former Navy chaplain and current candidate for Colorado’s District 15, praising the baker who refused to service a same-sex couple:

"By endorsing their sin he would not be showing compassion to them; he would be showing cruelty. So the ultimate hate speech is to endorse homosexuality because you give them the impression that it's okay and that deceives them and ultimately trips them into Hell."

So, let me get this queer, if the baker had baked the cake as ordered, he would have been cruel, but by saying he doesn’t like The Gays he’s showing compassion?

Sit down, Gordon, your stupidity is showing.

Channing Tatum, taking over for Jonah Hill on his Gay Slur Apology Tour:

"I'll jump in and just say that I think most of the time when people have to go on and sort of apologize for something it might not come off all that well because it's not actually like what they mean. I can honestly say that is not who he is. It came off well and he did it well because he really means it, that wasn’t who he was that day."

First off, Channing, if you think it comes off as a bit insincere when the apology goes on and on, how insincere do you think it seems when a friend joins that tour?

Plus, you say it wasn’t who Jonah was that day, but, in fact, it was, because he said it.

Why don’t y’all just move on? We accept his apology.

Pete Cahall, principal as Wilson High School, who came out as gay last week, on how he feels now:

"I’ve stepped up to the microphone to address my students hundreds of times before. But this was different. My hands were sweaty; I was shaking. I’m the principal of Woodrow Wilson High School in Washington, D.C. Last Thursday, I stood in front of a thousand people, including my students, teachers, even D.C. Mayor Vincent Gray, and came out. 'I’m a proud gay man,' I said. 'And I just happen to be the principal of Woodrow Wilson High School.' It was the first time I’d ever talked publicly about my sexuality — I’d never even discussed it with my family. When I made my announcement, there were cheers. Afterward, kids came up and hugged me. The next day, parents and students gave me a five-minute standing ovation. I’ve gotten thousands of e-mails, texts, and Facebook messages from educators all over the world. I’ve heard from parents of gay and lesbian students in high school who’ve attempted suicide. They say, 'I just wish my kid could be a student in your school.' I’ve heard from the kids who used to bully me. Still, I haven’t talked to my parents about it."

Every single person that comes out makes a difference; sometimes big differences, sometimes small.

But it makes a difference and changes the world for the better.

I Didn't Say It ....

Whoopi Goldberg, on her longstanding relationship with the LGBT community and the rumors that she is a lesbian:

“…it's like, there are a lot worse things people could have accused me of—things that would really be upsetting! [Questions about my sexuality are] not one of them. It never has been. I grew up in the theater. I grew up in a neighborhood where there was always gay folks. Always! So I never understood people's freak out about it. Everybody is so damn paranoid about everything. They're so concerned that (people) are gonna be like, "Oh, somebody's gonna think I'm gay." So what! What happens if they do? It was ridiculous.”

It was, and it still is. Thankfully a lot of celebrities are now saying the same thing, that being rumored to be gay is not a bad thing, it’s just a thing.

Michael McShane, US District Court judge, from last Monday’s ruling that overturned Oregon's ban on same-sex marriage:

"Oregon recognizes a marriage of love with the same equal eye that it recognizes a marriage of convenience. It affords the same set of rights and privileges to Tristan and Isolde that it affords to a Hollywood celebrity waking up in Las Vegas with a blurry memory and a ringed finger. It does not, however, afford these very same rights to gay and lesbian couples who wish to marry within the confines of our geographic borders."

He just Britney’d all over his ruling!

Alan Keyes, who has accused gays of committing crimes against humanity and compared same-sex marriage to picking one’s nose, has finally played the Nazi card:

"You think that homosexual marriage is about homosexuality, ethics and behavior; I tell you homosexual marriage is about the very founding principle of our free way of life and it ends up making government the all-powerful, totalitarian ruler of every human being from the cradle to the grave."

Seriously? We’re terrorists and the cause of bad weather and pedophiles and indoctrinators of children and Nazis?

How do we manage to get anything done when we’re so busy doing all that?

Lady Gaga, on lip-syncing:

“I don’t think it’s cool to lip sync. I’m not judging if people do because it’s everybody’s own style of what they decided to be, the type of artist they will be, but I think if you pay money for a ticket to see a show the artist should fucking have some pipes and sing their records for you.”

I agree, but I find it funny that she knocks the syncers while giving herself a little pat on the back.

Adam Carolla, “comedian”, says he can't tell jokes about gays anymore without being put on a list of bullies:

“My feeling about the gay community — first off, you can’t live in Hollywood and get along in this business and be in theater companies and improv companies and have issues with gay people... If you can’t work with gay people, you’re gonna have a difficult time in Hollywood. There’s plenty of gay people and they’re in positions above you. You’re not going to get your movie directed. I don’t have a problem with it — they’ve just turned into a mafia and demanding everyone apologize for every joke and retract every statement."

Jokes about gay people are funny, but jokes about people because they are gay, or transgender, or bisexual, or whatever, aren’t.

I think Carolla’s just pissy because now he has to work harder at being funny instead of just recycling his seventh grade sense of humor.

Sandra Bullock, during a talk at Warren Easton Charter High School in New Orleans; she’s been a big supporter of the school since Hurricane Katrina, and surprised graduates with a lovely speech:

“When someone who cares about you hugs you? Hug them back with two arms. Don’t do the one-armed hug, because when you hug with two arms, it allows you to lean on somebody, and we always need somebody to lean on. If someone doesn’t want to play with you, it’s okay. Not everyone is going to love us, go find somebody who does want to play with you, and appreciates what you have to offer.”

I love her.

Steve Bullock, no relation to Sandy, governor of Montana, on the four gay couples suing the state over its ban on same-sex marriage:

“Montanans cherish our freedom and recognize the individual dignity of every one of us. The time has come for our state to recognize and celebrate – not discriminate against – two people who love one another, are committed to each other, and want to spend their lives together. I look forward to a future where all Montanans have the opportunity to marry the person they love, just as Lisa and I did almost 15 years ago. We are on the path to greater understanding and equality, and we will all be better for it.”

Do it, Montana, jump on the equality bandwagon!

Angelina Jolie, on the stress of motherhood:

“I’m not a single mom with two jobs trying to get by every day. I have much more support than most people, most women in this world. And I have the financial means to have a home and health care and food. … When I feel I’m doing too much, I do less, if I can. And that’s why I’m in a rare position where I don’t have to do job after job. I can take time when my family needs it. … I actually feel that women in my position, when we have all at our disposal to help us, shouldn’t complain. Consider all the people who really struggle and don’t have the financial means, don’t have the support, and many people are single raising children. That’s hard.” 

I think she’s taking a not-so-subtle swipe at HRH Gwyneth Paltrow, who complained a couple of months ago that she has it harder than Moms who have “regular” jobs.

Way to go, Angie!