Oscar Fashion ... From Teyana to Timothée

Okay, so here are my thoughts ... my thoughts ... on the Hots and Nots and Just Plain Awfuls at the Oscars.

What did you think?

VERY BEST

Teyana Taylor is what looked like fur but turned out to be feathers or fringe. No one else looked quite as regal or edgy or fun.

BEST  

clockwise from top left

Ava DuVernay took wing in this glamourous gown in midnight blue. Those shoulder wings looked like she was about to take flight.

Nicole Kidman in pale pink feathers and jewels looked the very essence of Pretty in Pink. The feathered peplum and the feathered fringe fluttered as she walked, or glided, down the

Wunmi Mosaku was nine months pregnant at the Oscars and she glowed in this green jeweled dress; pure elegance.

Rose Byrne brought the class to the carpet in this simple flowered gown with minimal jewelry and a simple hair style; as any Oscar nominee should.

GOOD 

clockwise from top left

Amy Madigan looked fun and playful in this fringed jacket and she had every right; her last Oscar nomination was forty years ago!

Audry Nuna looked regal in this gold-plated, full skirted dress; she played almost evil looking and rocked it.

Emma Stone always looks really good, if not sometimes very simple; this is a classy, elegant look without all the bells and whistles of some other women.

Kathy Bates proved you can be a woman of a certain age and look utterly gorgeous; from the hair to the neckline to the jeweled bodice and the full skirt she was a queen.

Renate Reinsve is Simply Red; at first I was annoyed because I was getting red sheet wrapped around the body, but the more I saw it, I loved the simplicity in the sea of ball gowns and feathers and sequins.

Jessie Buckley floated down the carpet and up the stairs to collect her Oscar; I loved the red banded top and the flowing pink skirt.

Demi Moore is the yin to Nicole’s yang; I loved the feathers but hated the feathers nearly covered her recently constructed 2026 face.

Chase Infiniti is someone I don’t know but I love the lilac ruffles falling from her side. I like her hair, but maybe something different for this dress.

MEH 

clockwise from top left

Anne Hathaway looks like she was pulling a Rose Byrne dress but on sale; too many flowers cheap and the look and the black gloves? Seriously.

Bella Thorne was giving 60’s Ann-Margaret—Google her kids—but the gown looked old on her; she should have gone more youthful and fun.

GOOP in a stiff column dress to match her stiff face; I have never seen a more dour look at the Oscars, especially in white.

Melissa McCarthy has been looking fabulous lately and this sequined number did the trick; but then why wear a long-sleeved black T underneath it?

Priyanka Chopra-Jonas is a mess; the bodice seemed ill-fitting and kind of lumpy and the skirt looks like it belongs to another dress. But the black shoes? Oh Hell No.

Ginnifer Goodwin gives me grieving widow in the dress combined with Let’s ride the slide childishness of the hair. Mismatch.

Felicity Jones got swallowed up in this yellow mess; it gives her now shape and there seemed to be far too many embellishments and  flounces and ruffles.

Ejae is someone I don’t know and I liked this dress at first, but when I saw this picture the sash around her waist made it appear as if she was wearing a white knee-length slip underneath it and now I cannot unsee it.

BAD 

clockwise from top left

Barbie Ferreira in a ball gown. A.Ball.Gown. I thought they were over, especially in that 80s blue, and yet what made it even worse was, as she posed on the carpet she kept bending over to display The Girls. Nope, we don’t do that here.

Elle Fanning in a ball gown too, though she always wears the Cinderella fantasy look and it’s getting old and so is Elle, Bring some edge, girl  before you’re the seventy-year-old actress in Disney Princess drag.

Sigourney Weaver should take notes from Kathy Bates; women of a certain age don’t need to be completely covered up in sequined sofa fabrics unless she’s making a play for JD Vance?

Kristin Wiig is either way too avant-garde or way too simple, or way too drab. Drab won this year with a tank top and a floor-length hostess skirt.

WTF... Pick Your Worst 

clockwise from top left

Auli’i Cravalho looks like her breasts are cannons and she’s ready to go to Iran and fight; plus the skirt seems extra full in the front.

Chloe Zhao is the Angel of Doom; how else do you explain this mess.

Isabel Zuaa took last year’s trend of having shoulder straps slightly above the shoulders and raised it by about a foot; it’s like she’s the Incredible Shrinking woman in the dress.

Odessa A'zion does her own styling; ‘nuff said about that. I will give her props for having a voice but maybe she shouldn’t always listen to it.

Misty Copeland is one of the most beautiful women in the world, and yet this dress with the over-sized almost Talking Heads looking black bolero jacket with ruffles is senseless. Maybe, as a retired ballet dancer she missed the tutu?

MEN

VERY BEST

Michael B. Jordan could show up in sweats and ratty t-shirt still look fabulous but he chose this sleek and modern take on a tuxedo that closed at the neck. I love the buttons and the chain detail and  I could eat him with a spoon.

VERY GOOD 

clockwise from top left

Shaboozy; I just wanna sit next to him and watch him smile. And smile he did in this modern take of an older tuxedo look. The white tie and the hint of white in the shoe and the jewelry sealed the deal!

Jeremy Pope chose the modern white double-breasted tuxedo jacket with a black shirt coiled around his neck; he looked just p[lain cool and hot.

Ryan Coogler chose a simple black tuxedo with a white bow tie and the perfect sleek pocket square. He looked regal and handsome.

Adrien Brody; I have always crushed on Adrien Brody and he served it up at the Oscars in this all-black tuxedo with a jeweled pocket square of his own; tall and dreamy.

GOOD 

clockwise from top left

Chase Stokes looked luscious in a velvet jacket with no tie and sleek black pants. Grrrrrr.

Lewis Pullman kinda went safe in a simple man’s suit and tie but he pulled it off; effortless.

Miles Caton played the color drenched card and wore the same color from head to toe; it was elegant and classy.

Pedro Pascale was hot without the weather in this crisp white shirt with ruffled sleeves and a floral detail above the pocket. Few men could this off but Pedro isn’t like other men, he’s got edge.

Joe Alwyn looked simple and elegant in a black tuxedo but the tie was a nice choice; not a bow-tie or a necktie but a simple blousy tie.

Kieran Culkin is classic yet modern in a burgundy jacket over black shirt and tie and pants; like many of the men, he bejeweled the lapel for some pizzazz.

MEH 

clockwise from top left

Damson Idris looks good, and hot and new, but the jacket just seems too long and too heavy for a hot night; he gets props, though, for designing his own jewelry and lapel pin.

Felix Kammerer is a little too casual for the Oscars. I like the color but the rolled-up sleeves are too retro not cool retro.

Paul Mescal; goddess I adore him, but he seems to be wearing an outfit similar to Joe Alwyn’s but it seems ill-fitting and uncomfortable. But Paul gets a pass because he’s Paul.

Wagner Moura was one of the Hot Men at the Oscars but that white buttoned up shirt with no tie looked like he forgot to finish dressing. An all-black look would have been much better.

Jacob Elordi gets points for being a tall drink or water and rocking a porn stache, but his look seems old school, emphasis on the old and I cannot forgive his shoes.

Hudson Mills—one of the stars of Heated Rivalry—looks nice enough though he’s got a smug face and that takes points off, but what really annoyed me was that he was trying to sell the accessories; he held his arm at his waist to show off the watch. This isn’t Home Shopping, Hudson.

WTF 

left to right

Kevin O’Leary—I do not know him—but he looked like a professional wrestler who showed up at the wrong event.

Spike Lee. First off, the look isn’t bad except for the big purse but the way he’s standing looks like he either has to go to the bathroom or just did.

WORST

Timothée Chalamet. Where to begin … his smug little scamp attitude, the all-white milk man look that screams Garanimals For Tiny Actors; the stance; the sunglasses. It all makes it clear that Timothée thinks he’s It but he’s not.

Bobservations

The other night CBS aired a Grammy salute to Cyndi Lauiper with all kinds of special guests singing with Lauper at the Hollywood Bowl. but my favorite part of the show was Cyndi telling the stories of how she wrote her songs and I was telling Carlos about that when he suddenly said:

“At least she’s not related to Lindsay Lohan.”

“Why would she be related ... Oh no, you thought she was Cyndi Lohan and not Cyndi Lauper.”

See what I deal with? I guess I should count myself lucky that he didn’t think Cyndi was Ma-dough-na or Jell-O. 

This Tuxedo Says comes from April 29, 2021, …

“Tuxedo wants to play off of Carlson’s idea of berating people who wear masks by asking the entire country to berate anyone who works for, listens to, or believes Fox News.”

I still think it’s a good plan!

While millions of fans celebrated, Kid Rock decided to rant about Bad Bunny getting the Super Bowl Halftime Show with this brilliant bon mot:

“So now the Super Bowl’s letting TikTok dancers headline? What’s next, a mariachi band doing Drake covers? Bring back real performers, not reggaeton karaoke.”

Bad Bunny fired back with pure Latin heat:

“You mad ‘cause the only halftime show you’re getting is at the county fair. Don’t talk about ‘real performers’ when your biggest hit was before Wi-Fi existed. If culture moved past you, maybe try catching up instead of crying about it.”

Aaaaaaand snap! 

Every so often a stupid joke finds its way to me and I just have to share it with y’all, so here goes:

Do you know what 50 Cent did when he got hungry?

58.

Please don’t unfollow me … 

I’m thinking  this must be what happens when the cakes are too big for the pan.

These are just a few of the things going around the interwebs that I thought I might clear up …

Undocumented immigrants do not receive free healthcare; it’s against the law.

Tylenol does not cause autism.

Bad Bunny is an American citizen; the Slovenian Hooker is not.

And it’s the Gulf of Mexico.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk … now carry on …. 

David Pruhs, the Republican mayor of Fairbanks Alaska has conceded the race to Democrat Mindy O'Neall after this week’s election.

Republicans have controlled Fairbanks for nearly a decade  but Democrats have scored yet another unlikely victory in deep-red territory.

In around 40 special elections since Cankles barely won his second term, Democrats have overperformed by an average of about 15% and flipped a slew of seats.

This is the Resistance, this is hope.

Y’all know I can scarcely tolerate JLo—or as Carlos calls her, Jell-O—but this is too stupid even for this Thirst Quen. I mean, what in the name of Kindergarten Construction Paper Art Project Nonsense is this dress?

I mean, yeah, she’s starring in Kiss of the Spider Woman but this is the dress she chose for the premiere? It looks more like Kiss of the Broken Belt Buckle Woman.

Someone lay hands on her.

Emilio Alcaraz is a six-foot, one-inch tall, brown haired brown eyed Spanish model and that’s all I need to know because I adore the Latin mens, but … Would You Hit It?

Bobsverations

Carlos and I watched the return of Kimmel to the airwaves on Tuesday night and he killed his monologue, making it funny and emotional and heartfelt and defiant. We stayed watching after the monologue when he had actor Glen Powell on and Carlos’ utter lack of Pop Culture knowledge first had him asking if Powell was a football player.

“No, he’s an actor.”

“But he’s related to Colin Powell?”

“You think he’s related to Colin Powell because they have the same last name?”

“Maybe.”

“Well, by your logic then you’re related to Kamala Harris.”

“aaaaaaah, Cousin Kamala.”

Seriously; he’s lucky I didn’t have my cartoon frying pan!

This Tuxedo Says is from April 2021:

What? Y’all know Tuxedo has the Common Sense. It’s a shame the two-legged inhabitants of the planet don’t always follow his lead.

Just a note to Erika Kirk, if you feel the need to have merch tables at your husband’s memorial, you are a grifting piece of sh*t.

That’s all.

There are people who cannot start their day without a cup of coffee and other people that also need cakes to get motivated.

A little lesson in facts for the dumbasses trying to handle healthcare in this country: Autism was first discovered in 1911 but Tylenol wasn’t invented until 1950.

Release the Epstein files.

Here's a photo of Good Christian and Minister of Government Lies, KaroLying Leavitt, who demands people treat her racist rapist con man boss with respect, ignoring protocol while in England with Cankles and wearing an off-the-shoulder, off-the-rack, bargain bin, Casual Corner cheap flimsy piece of cloth to a royal dinner and decided it was good to allow her nipples some exposure.

The headlights were on but no one's driving.

While honoring Chris Wallace at his Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony Arnold Schwarzenegger tried making a joke about ex-wife Maria Shriver, saying:

“I know a lot about journalists. I’ve been interviewed—you can imagine, in my lifetime—by thousands and thousands of journalists, but not only that, I was also married to a journalist. [And] the only difference between Chris and Maria is that Chris has never taken half my money.”

Arnold forgot to mention that his wife took half his money because [A] California is a community property state and [2] She found out after nearly 25 years of marriage that her husband had been schtupping the housekeeper and the pair had a grown son.

Oh Arnold, you should have kept your mouth and your pants zipped.

Billionaire philanthropist MacKenzie Scott donated $70 million to the UNCF, as the nation’s largest private provider of scholarships to minority students works to raise $1 billion to strengthen all 37 of its Historically Black Colleges and Universities [HBCuS].

The gift is one of Scott’s largest single donations ever and among the first to be publicly disclosed in 2025. Famously private, Scott only discusses her donations through her website and does not confirm them until after the recipients do.

Be a MacKenzie and not a Bezos.

Andrew Burnap is an American actor known for his stage performances in the Public Theatre's revivals of King Lear in 2014 and Troilus and Cressida in 2016. He won a Tony Award for Best Actor in a Play for his role as Toby Darling in The Inheritance so … Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

The other morning over breakfast I was chatting with Carlos and he said:

“What?”

I repeated myself and he said:

“What?”

“Are your hearing aids in?”

“Yes.”

Cut to a couple of hours later and I’m leaving for work. I tell him I’m going to take some of his Tic Tacs with me and head into the kitchen. I start to pour some Tic Tacs into my hand when one pops out and hits the floor … FROM THE LIVING ROOM … I hear:

“Are you throwing my Tic Tacs on the floor?”

That he hears! Selective hearing is real, y’all.

This is Tuxedo from January 28, 2021: 

Tuxedo is growing ever more annoyed by Republicans who think sedition isn’t impeachment worthy.

Sidenote: cut to 2025, and the GOP shuts down Congress for an early Summer recess so they don’t have to deal with the Epstein files and the fact that their leader is a predator and child raping liar.

Kim Davis, the Kentucky Kounty Klerk who went to jail a decade ago rather than issue a marriage license to a gay couple, is now petitioning the Supreme Court to overturn Obergefell v. Hodges.

I’d like her hairdresser to overturn that mass of swamp weed on her head.

It’s a fact that most mass shooters in the U.S. are straight white men, yet no one asks white politicians to answer for them. But Republicans think Zohar Mamdani should answer questions because the Manhattan shooter is Ugandan? That’s not public safety, that’s scapegoating; that’s racism.

And it’s enough. Vote every Republican out of office, every office in every city in every state.

Every so often there are cakes that just make you wanna jump for joy … and here there are!

They say the one way to shame a woman is to say she sleeps with a lot of men. And they also say to shame a man is to say he sleeps with men.

The conclusion seems to be that sleeping with men is considered shameful.

For the love of the Baby Cheeses explain to me why anyone would think this shirt is cool, or looks good, or seems like you didn’t drag it out of a dumpster and cut the hardened pit stains out of it so you could wear it in public.

I found something new to say when I meet a MAGAt and they wanna talk The Felon. Listen politely to  their madness and then quietly, calmly say:

He wasn’t shot. He didn’t win. He’s on the list.

And calmly stroll away; works every time.

This is Doug Mason, born in San Diego and a competitive athlete before becoming a much sought after model, but the real question is: Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

Had yet another Meryl Streep Crisis with Carlos. I was telling him that I saw a video of her appearance on the Graham Norton Show a few years back with Hugh Grant and they were telling stories of making Florence Foster Jenkins.

“She wasn’t in that.”

“Meryl Streep? You think you can tell me something I don’t know about Meryl Streep? Of course she was in the movie.”

“The movie about the really bad singer.”

“Yes. Florence.Foster.Mother-effing.Jenkins.”

“Who did she play?”

“Who did Meryl Streep play in Florence Foster Jenkins?”

“Yes.”

“She played a cab driver who drove Florence to the theater … SHE WAS FLORNCE FOSTER JENKINS.”

“Was she?”

I hadn’t used it in a while but I pulled out my cartoon frying back and clubbed him over the head.

From May 2019 … another scorcher in Smallville and once again Tuxedo has the right idea.

So Jeff Bezos’ arm candy Lauren Sánchez asked Big Daddy if she could take the rocket out for a spin this week and took aerospace engineer Aisha Bowe, social entrepreneur Amanda Nguyen, film producer Kerianne Flynn, Oprah’s side-piece Gayle King, and “singer” and media whore Katy Perry on a ten-minute space ride while real female astronauts are being let go in an anti-DEI nightmare..

The Real Stupid Housewives of Space.

I need some cakes, some simple, plain, unadorned, man cakes to rid my mind of the image of Katy Perry dropping to the ground after her ten-minute ride and kissing Mother Earth.

Thank God for cakes.

The Fascist In Chief says the 5.3 million people who took part in the Hands Off march were paid millions by George Soros—I guess my check is in the mail—and if the MAGAts believe that line, why not pretend you’re a liberal and sign up for the next protest and expose the whole thing.

See, we hate The Felon for free.

That is Peter Hildebrand, father of Daisy—the second unvaccinated girl to die of measles in Texas in just two months. This paragon of fatherhood says he has no regrets about not vaccinating her and just letting her die and does not plan to vaccinate any future children.

In a perfect world Peter would be dead of measles and Daisy could live a long full productive  MAGAt free life.

Brainwashing is powerful … when you’re dumb. 

Well, here’s a novel way to keep people from stealing your fanny back … make it look like a bag of flab hanging over your belt.

First crocs and now this …

Think on this … we are sinking so deep into fascism that a Jewish Governor Josh Shapiro’s house getting firebombed on Passover by a guy who wanted to bash Shapiro’s head in with a hammer is overshadowed by a felon in the White saying he wants to build foreign gulags for American citizens.

Resist before it’s too late.

Lorenzo Viotti is a 35-year-old Swiss conductor of the Netherlands Philharmonic Orchestra and Dutch National Opera who looks like he has a delicate touch with his baton, so … Would You Hit It?