Ain't That America XXXVI

Another week and the war that isn’t a war rages on, with the threat of ground troops and a President who has said he’s now bored by the whole thing. How comforting to the families who’ve lost loved ones or have had loved ones injured in the war to know that Cankles isn’t enjoying himself any longer. So, what else is happening …

Cankles, who has long railed against mail-in voting and calling it “mail-in-cheating” voted by mail in a Florida special election last week.

I wonder if he’s going to call his vote mail-in cheating after Democrat Emily Gregory won the election and now represents Cankles’ district in the Florida state house.

 

Vermont Democrat Senator Peter Welch and Connecticut Democrat Senator Richard Blumenthal released new information on payments made under a subcontract issued to The Strategy Group as part of the $220 million advertising campaign for recently-canned Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem. 

Expenses included a $60,000 “signing bonus” to Strategy Group, a $20,000 horse rental, $4,000 in hair and makeup services, $52,599 to videography, photography, and production vendors, $100,000 in labor costs, $500 to Magic Makers, Inc, a magic store in Sioux Falls Idaho plus $42,000 to “other” venders for a total of $286,000 in taxpayer dollars for Noem to film commercials.

DogKiller, adulterer, grifter and thief.

 

Cankles, who for years has played Elvis Presley’s music at his campaign rallies and often compared himself to Presley, went to Graceland last week while his illegal war raged in Iran,

Let that sink in.

 

Saudi Arabia’s de facto leader, Prince Mohammed bin Salman, has been pushing Cankles to continue the illegal war against Iran, arguing that the US-Israeli military campaign presents a “historic opportunity” to remake the Middle East.

So now he’s taking war advice from the country of the 9/11 hijackers.

Let that sink in.

MAGAt Republican Lauren “The Groper” Boebert has once again tried curry favor with Cankles by praising the installation of the ICEstapo in airports by posting a video on her social media:

“ICE agents show up at airports. While the rest of our country has three-plus-hour waits—thanks Democrats—in Minneapolis Airport’s TSA, wait time right now is less than five minutes.”

And then she added “you can’t make this stuff up!!” Only, she can and she did make it all up, There were no ICEstapo agents at  Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport, or any other airports in Minnesota.

Before Kristi DogKiller Noem was even out the door after getting fired, her more than 10 framed glamour shots hanging on the walls of one of her Washington offices were being taken down by staff.

Her replacement, Markwayne Mullin, began work right away, undoing the unprecedented regulations that Noem and her lover, Corey Lewandowski, had imposed across the department.

Wait, so then even the GOP knew she was a grifting con artist?

 

Matt Schlapp, head of the American Conservative Union, led the crowd at CPAC [Conservative Political Action Conference] in an unintentional cheer for Cankles’ impeachment when he asked the audience:

“How many of you would like to see impeachment hearings?”

The crowd cheered and Schlapp stammered:

“That was the wrong answer. We’ll try it again. How many of you would like to see impeachment hearings?”

And again the crowd cheered.

Despite these alleged peace talks, Pete Hegseth would rather the killings continue because according to DUI Pete “we negotiate with bombs” when it comes to Iran.

War criminals all of them, and when the Cankles runs to Russia and Saudi Arabia to hide I hope they drag Hegseth into court and sentence him for his murderous reign.

 

Melanie held something called the "Melanie’s Fostering the Future Together Global Coalition Summit at the US State Department" which was about education and spent all of eight minutes in attendance saying:

“As people we dream. As leaders we progress. As nations we will build. Beginning today, let’s accelerate our new global alliance, this bond, to positively impact the progress of our children.”

The only thing "accelerating" was Melanie running out of the building like a Slovenian Hooker on the stroll and making it clear she doesn’t give a shiz about education.

Fuck her.

 

Mike “The Littlest” Johnson and the GOP gave the first-ever 'America First award' to Cankles. Johnson handed a gold eagle statue and said the event would be an annual honor.

With Cankles winning every year.

Minnesota Republican Representative Elliott Engen was arrested last week on suspicion of drunk driving. White Bear Lake Police Chief Dale Hager said that officers pulled over a vehicle for traffic violations, including speeding, expired tabs and a broken headlight and arrested Engen for suspicion of driving while impaired after blowing a BAC of .13.

Engen once said Democrats are “drunk at the wheel on systemic fraud.” Oops.

The Senate voted last week to fund the Department of Homeland Security except for the ICEstapo, raising the prospect of an end to a weekslong partial shutdown that has strained federal workers and caused long waits at airports. The package will next be considered by the House, which was scheduled to convene last Friday morning.

This is another win for Democrats.

 

Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski of Alaska who has harshly criticized the Cankles Regime for keeping Congress in the dark on combat operations in Iran has begun drafting legislation that would force lawmakers to vote for the first time on whether to authorize the war.

Let’s see how many Republicans will stand with the Constitution against their Cult Leader.

 

Due to the impact on resources from the longstanding government shutdown, Delta airlines temporarily suspended all specialty services to members of Congress. Delta has long operated a special congressional service desk that helped members of Congress book trips at government rates, make last-minute ticketing changes and even reserve seats on multiple flights on the same day to accommodate congressional votes.

Delta CEO Ed Bastian suspended that service and said the TSA agents who screen passengers at airports are being used as “political chips” in congressional negotiations over DHS funding.

The resistance.

 

Cankles’ approval rating ​fell again to its lowest point since he returned to the White House due to an illegal war, the high price of gasoline, and his fucking ineptitude.

And then we had a booming turnout across the country and around the world for No Kings Day; estimates suggest between 8 and ten million in the US alone! The Resistance is real, and we played our part in lil ol’ Columbia, South Carolina where thousands turned out.

Keep it up and never forget:

The Funny Papers

Clay Bennett, Steve Sack, CrowdBlue, Marc Murphy, Dave Whamond, Pedro X Molina, Dennis Goris, Adam Zyglis, Michael de Adder, Jack Ohman, Nick Anderson, Gary Huck,

Ain't That America XV

Another week in America with The Felon sending troops to our cities to fight crime by picking up garbage and spreading mulch ... to a man who lived by hate, dying by hate ... watching the Right scramble to cover their asses when the shooter was revealed to be one of them ... it was just another week of incompetence and protests, bad news and good news, so let's dive in ...

I have no comment on the shooting last week except to say that The Little Johnson wants more security for politicians and racist pundits but not one iota of protection for school children.

Yes, I will start off with a giant FUCK YOU to The Little Johnson.

South Carolina’s own bigot, transphobe, homophobe and liar Nancy Mace—who is running for governor—proves herself to be the most disgusting member of Congress when, after word spread that Charlie Kirk’s shooter was transgender, Tweeted this:

And when it was revealed that the shooter was a MAGAt through and through, she changed her mind to this:

Nancy Mace is the problem.

Just in case you’re keeping track:

South Korea is pulling BILLIONS in investments after the ICEstapo raid on their Georgia Hyundai plant.

Qatar is pulling a $1.5 TRILLION investment in the US after The Felon collaborated with Israel to bomb Palestinian negotiations in Qatar.

Denmark reject US Patriot missiles in favor of French-Italian made Samp-T weapons system, costing the US $9.1 BILLION

China has purchased $0 of US soybeans this year putting farmers across America on the brink of bankruptcy. Last year, China purchased $13.2 BILLION of US soybeans, 54% of ALL soybean exports

The Felon’s 25% tariffs on auto parts and 50% tariffs on steel & aluminum cost Ford $800 MILLION in the second quarter, wiping out all of their profits

The Felon was right about one thing; he is responsible for the greatest economic turnaround in American history only he took us in the wrong direction.

GOP Congressmen Michael Cloud of Texas and Glenn  Thompson of Pennsylvania introduced a joint resolution to designate September 12th as the National Day of the Bible.

Freedom of Religion … when is the National Day of the Quran … the National Day of the Talmud  … the National Day of the Vedas, the Upanishads, and the Bhagavad Gita … the National Day of the Tripitaka … the National Day of the Guru Granth Sahib … the National Day of the Kitáb-i-Aqdas … the National Day of the Agamas … the National Day of the Analects, the Great Learning, the Doctrine of the Mean, and Mencius … the National Day of the Tao Te Ching … the National Day of the Kojiki … the National Day of the Avesta.

Freedom of and from Religion

Hundreds of thousands of a poor Americans are poised to get their disability benefits cut as The Fascist Regime moves to reverse a Biden-era change to Supplemental Security Income [SSI], a federal program that provides monthly payments to impoverished Americans who are unable to work—typically because they’re disabled.

Often they’re older Americans who haven’t earned enough during their lifetime to qualify for any meaningful Social Security benefits, but hey, tax breaks for billionaires!

President Cankles has pledged to remove the makeshift blue tent that has sat directly across from the White House since 1981 and is the nation’s longest continuous peace vigil:

“Take it down. Take it down today, right now.”

A peace vigil … the man who is foaming at the mouth for a Nobel Peace prize wants a peace vigil removed.

It would likely cost billions of dollars to change the names of hundreds of Pentagon agencies, their stationery, emblems, plaques and other signage at the Defense Department, along with bases around the world to the Department of War.

Well, he’s cutting SSI—see above—so maybe he can afford it. People will starve but he gets to be the War President.

Delta Air Lines revised its manuals to use “Gulf of America” for the body of water spanning Florida to Mexico in line with his executive order renaming the marginal sea.

Delta said it was simply complying with Federal Aviation Administration requirements when in fact they are bending to the whims of Cankles.

Georgia GOP Governor Brian Kemp will send members of his state’s National Guard to Washington DC to join thousands of other National Guard members deployed under The Fascist Regime’s plan to reduce crime in the nation’s capital. 

They will join thousands of other members of the National Guard from other states to pick up garbage, spread mulch in flower beds and ticker people for not wearing seatbelts.

Crime is rampant.

Prominent MAGAts expressed fury at the Secret Service for a major security failure after protesters heckled President Cankles his face on a visit to an upscale seafood restaurant near the White House. The Felon, along with Couchfucker, DUI Hire Hegseth and Foam Party Boy Marco Rubio, were screamed at by protesters shouting:

“Free D.C! Free Palestine! [Cankles] is the Hitler of our time!”

Resistance.

U.S. District Court Judge Jia Cobb blocked President Cankles from firing Federal Reserve Governor Lisa Cook as a lawsuit challenging her removal continues, writing:

“The public interest in Federal Reserve independence weighs in favor of Cook’s reinstatement. Cook has made a strong showing that her purported removal was done in violation of the Federal Reserve Act’s ‘for cause’ provision.”

Resistance.

Senator Ruben Gallego, Democrat of Arizona, will seek to block the Pentagon from offering full military funeral honors to insurrectionist criminal Ashli Babbitt. Gallego has criticized the Pentagon for agreeing recently to provide Babbitt with an honorary military funeral and will attempt to pass legislation this week to prevent the honor from being conferred.

It will likely not pass but this is The Resistance at work.

The 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Manhattan refused to throw out an $83.3 million jury verdict against President Cankles for damaging the reputation of the writer E. Jean Carroll in 2019 when he denied her rape claim.

Sell some more Gold Bibles, asshat.

House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries chose California Representative Eric Swalwell to lead Democrats on a newly formed subcommittee to reinvestigate … I guess once wasn’t enough … the events surrounding the January 6 Insurrection.

Jeffries also picked Representatives Jasmine Crockett and Jared Moskowitz to sit on the panel, which was initiated by the House GOP as part of a broad effort by Republicans to rewrite the history of the Capitol attack.

It was just tourists, y’all.

Texas Democratic state Representative James Talarico—one of many Texas Democrats who left the state to hold up a Cankles-led plan aimed at netting more GOP-leaning seats—announced his Senate bid last week, a smart move by the rising political star.

If embattled state Attorney General Ken Paxton wins the GOP primary in March, the state could be a ripe target for Democrats next November. Current polls show incumbent Senator John Cornyn trailing Paxton, and Republicans have said that Paxton would be a weak general election candidate.

Sidenote: a favorite quote of mine from Talarico:

“Ken Paxton, like all of us Christians, should spend more time praying than forcing others to pray.”

Snap. Talarico is possibly the most popular state rep on TikTok, where his denouncements of Christian nationalism and anti-LGBTQ activism often get millions of views.

Good. Vote Blue Texas!

The Kennedy Center has been practically empty  since Cankles took over. The Stuttgart Ballet performed in the opera house was roughly 19% occupied and subscription revenues are down 50%.

Everything he touches gets ruined,

And y’all know what to do, take a stand, raise a voice, cast a vote, and march …

The Resistance is gearing up for what may be its biggest mass-demonstration yet against the increasingly militaristic Fascist Regime—which has sent armed troops to occupy the nation’s capital and is threatening to do the same in large cities from Chicago to New Orleans.

After a series of smaller summer protests, the movement will be back in the streets on October 18 for “No Kings 2”—a sequel organizers are expecting to outshine the original, amid revulsion to the mass deportation led by the ICEstapo.

Head over to No Kings for more information and get out there and Resist!

Bobservations

Carlos’ hernia surgery is scheduled for November 5th. Last week he said he wanted to call the surgeon:

“Why?”

“It’s not bothering me anymore so maybe I don’t need the surgery.”

“Honey, you still have the hernia and the surgery is still necessary.”

“But it’s not—”

This week he said he wanted to call the surgeon again:

“Why?”

“It’s really bothering me now.”

November 5th cannot get here soon enough!

He was looking into new cell phones this week, and I muttered something about wanting a laptop. He said:

“We can talk about that, but I’d like to do the phones first.”

I said:

“How come when I want something it’s ‘Let’s talk about that later,’ but when you want something you get it right away?”

In his howler monkey voice, he shrieked:

“What am I getting?”

I smile sweetly and said:

“You get to have surgery.”

Luckily, I wrestled the frying pan from his hands before he could use it.

Bigot, homophobe, and woman-hater Karen Pence, AKA Mother, says she loves the way _____ treats young women according to The New York Times’ White House correspondent Katie Rogers:

“Tonight, in Minnesota, a state the campaign really wants to win, [Karen Pence] is on stage praising POTUS. She says she likes how he treats young women and sees the respect he has for his daughters. ‘As a mom, I was all in’ after seeing how he interacted with her daughter, Charlotte.”

Yup, she self-avowed Christian is ‘all in’ with a man who has been married three times, cheated on all three of his wives and said this:

“I moved on her, and I failed. I'll admit it. I did try and fuck her. She was married. And I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, ‘I'll show you where they have some nice furniture.’ I took her out furniture—I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn't get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden, I see her, she's now got the big phony tits and everything. She's totally changed her look… You know I'm automatically attracted to beautiful—I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab 'em by the pussy. You can do anything.”

Karen Pence thinks that this is a man who treats women well.

Delta Airlines flies from Salt Lake City to Houston every day, but one recent trip was completely different: this time Delta took 120 girls between 12 to 18 to NASA's Johnson Space Center for International Girls in Aviation Day, an event designed to encourage more women to enter the male-dominated field.

Even better, these 120 girls, who came from area STEM schools, flew on a  with an all-female pilot and flight crew, ramp agents and gate agents on the ground, and women in the control tower giving pilots instructions.

Girl power in action.

Twitter user Mercurial Era celebrated their grandmother Winnie’s birthday on the social media site with a clip of their 100-year-old grandmother holding up a Make America Great Again hat and saying:

“All I want for my birthday is for someone to impeach this sucker.”

Let’s give Grandma Winnie the best gift ever!

See the clip HERE.

Last week Kellogg put Raisin Bran, Corn Flakes, Rice Krispies, Frosted Flakes, Froot Loops and Frosted Mini Wheats “all together” on one box to make a statement about LGBTQ inclusivity. The company also made a $50,000 donation to GLAAD to support its annual anti-bullying Spirit Day, saying:

“We all belong together. So for the first time in history, our famous mascots and cereals are offered exclusively together in the same box for All Together Cereal. It’s a symbol of acceptance no matter how you look, where you’re from or who you love. We believe that all people deserve an environment where they can be their best selves. That’s why Kellogg’s has joined forces as an official partner of GLAAD to celebrate Spirit Day, the largest most visible anti-bullying campaign in the world where millions wear purple to stand up against bullying, and to support a more accepting world for LGBTQ youth. Kellogg is donating $50,000 to GLAAD to support their anti-bullying and LGBTQ advocacy work. Each limited-edition box of All Together Cereal includes individual boxes: Raisin Bran, Corn Flakes, Rice Krispies, Frosted Flakes, Froot Loops and Frosted Mini Wheats.”

And bigots and homophobes everywhere went nuts, telling Twitter they would no longer eat a Kellogg cereal.

Kellogg, a billion-dollar corporation, basically went, “Oh well …”

Across the pond, over to the UK, a shopping center where England’s first Chick-fil-A opened a few days ago has announced this week that the anti-LGBTQ chicken franchise’s lease would not be renewed because of backlash from the LGBTQ; said the shopping center in a statement:

“We always look to introduce new concepts for our customers, however, we have decided on this occasion that the right thing to do is to only allow Chick-Fil-A to trade with us for the initial six-month pilot period, and not to extend the lease any further.”

It’s all because, even though Chick-fil-A pledged to stop giving to anti-LGBTQ groups, a new report shows the company actually increased its Hate Donations.

Oh, so sorry, Chick-fil-Hate, but you gotta shutter that shop because Hate don’t pay in the UK.

Cyrus Amini is a French model of Spanish-Iranian descent and yet he’s giving me young Colin Farrell vibes and whenever I get a Colin Farrell vibe I … where was I? Oh, Cyrus. He’s a good poser, too; I’d like that second photo as a statue for the yard at Casa Bob y Carlos.

He rocks a suit, and a swimsuit, doesn’t he?

Briefly speaking, I’m back at those vibes …

Oh, Baby Jeebus, the man simply smolders.

Swoon.