I Didn't Say It

Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, ripping Republicans on their government shutdown threat:

“It is yet again, a double sense of irresponsibility: first of all they’d shut down government, and then they’d shut down science. How do they explain to the public that they’re shutting down government because they don’t want people to get vaccinated? This is so silly that we have people who are anti-science, anti-vaccination saying they’re going to shut down government over that. And you’re asking me what’s our message?”

The Democratic message is ‘Keep people healthy, keep people alive,’ while the GOP message is ‘It’s our party and we’ll die if we want to.’

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Mitch McConnell, Senate Minority Leader, on the GOP loons and their threat of a shutdown over vaccine mandates:

“Multiple courts have pushed the pause button on these government vaccine mandates. There is a decent chance the courts will strike them down. Secondly, next week we are going to have a vote on the vaccine mandate prohibiting that regulation from going into effect. I think it has a decent chance of passing the Senate. I don’t think shutting down the government over this issue is going to get an outcome. It would only create chaos and uncertainty. So I don’t think that’s the best vehicle to get this job done. I think the courts are likely to get it done or we’ll pass early next week–freestanding–a measure to overturn the government mandate. A shutdown makes no sense for anyone.”

The GOP loons will burn McTurtle for this, even though he’s still working to keep President Biden from getting anything done.

But that’s the GOP; force people out of work over a mandate that will save their lives and the lives of others because …freedumb.

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Nancy Mace, South Carolina representative, saying that getting COVID is better than getting a safe, effective, and free vaccine:

“One of the things the CDC has not done and no policy-maker at the federal level has done so far has taken into account what natural immunity does. In some studies I have read, natural immunity gives you 27 times more protection against future COVID infection than a vaccination.”

That was Mace on Fox News; on CNN, because Charleston is in her district, she said people should get the vaccine.

South Carolina; it’s not the heat, it’s the stupidity!

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Scott Jennings, former Mitch McConnell adviser, slamming GOP Representative Lauren Boebert—think Sarah Plain, but somehow dumber—for her “jokes” about Democrat Representative Ilhan Omar being a terrorist:

"Senator McConnell serves in the Senate. I guarantee you, I know what he's thinking. It's a garbage comment from a garbage politics. I'm as anti-Squad as the next [Republican], but there's plenty of ways to debate these folks without stooping to this garbage rhetoric. I noted, by the way, that Boebert has been forced to apologize. I assume that didn't happen in a vacuum, but she's of course committed the ultimate sin, which is the people she's being performative for here would say you never should apologize. Ultimately this is not the future of the party, not the future of the country, not the future of what any of us wants. These are not the leaders that we need for America or for the Republican Party."

Nice spin, Scott, but none of your GOP leaders, even your former boss, actually uttered words condemning Boebert’s hate speech so, yeah, they are ALL garbage.

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Benedict Cumberbatch, actor, on straight actors taking on gay character roles, as he is doing in Jane Campion’s The Power of the Dog:

“I feel very sensitive about representation, diversity, and inclusion. One of the appeals of the job was the idea that in this world, with this specific character, there was a lot that was private, hidden from view. It wasn’t done without thought. I also feel slightly like, is this a thing where our dance card has to be public? Do we have to explain all our private moments in our sexual history? I don’t think so. Jane [Campion] chose us as actors to play those roles. That’s her question to answer. You go with your taste. You go with what you think will be a challenge. And your taste is about what you want to see.”

I don’t know tat I have a problem with straight actors in gay roles, or vice versa. I don’t think Brokeback Mountain or Philadelphia would have been better films with gay actors in those roles; Longtime Companion still wounds and many of those actors were straight.

What do you think?

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Nikki Haley, former U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations and former governor of South Carolina, and current traitor supporter, suggesting that leaders in the government who are of an advanced age should undergo a “cognitive test”:

“Whether it’s the House, whether it’s the Senate, whether it’s vice president, whether it’s president—you should have some sort of cognitive test. Let’s face it, we’ve got a lot of people in leadership positions that are old. And that’s not being disrespectful. That’s a fact. And when it comes to that, this shouldn’t be partisan. We should seriously be looking at the ages of the people that are running our country and understand if that’s what we want.”

Do you want Thing 45 to undergo such a test Nikki? I mean, what might be trapped in his addled syphilitic brain?

Oh, and Nikki, perhaps a cognitive test to determine why you change your mind, and your support for Thing 45, every few months? That suggests some cognitive decline, or at least proves you’re a flip-flopping lunatic. And that should keep you from ever holding public office.

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It's Snarkurday!

News moves fast these days and you either get in on it, or you move along ... something former Spice Girl Mel B. should learn.

Mel B., now some twenty days past New Years Eve, has weighed in on the Mimi Mess. Seriously; it might have been more relevant had she weighed in on the tumble Judy Garland took at the Palladium back in 1951 but I digress ...

Mel B. is currently on Broadway in the revolving door role of Roxie Hart in Chicago and brought up how she was in Times Square that fateful night and saw Mimi’s, for lack of a better word, performance. She says she was “in complete shock” watching Mariah lip-synch-talk-strip-stripper-stroll through her set and added:

“I was watching, going, ‘What is going on over there?’ because I was trying to lip-synch along to her song, pretending I was Mariah, and then it all stopped. ... As a performer ... if something happens, you just keep going. Your first reaction is to not let silence go too long, so I was in complete shock. I was like, ‘Why did you let that happen?’ I think maybe she ... didn’t even want to attempt that when it actually came to singing live because some of the track was pre-recorded, all of the high notes, and some of it was just blank for her to sing live. Maybe she doesn’t have that voice anymore. I hate to say it…” 

Um, no you don’t, and it’s funny because what you described is my impression of every single Spice Girls performance.

Seriously, Mel, save the shade lest it land on you, too.

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Poor Dina Lohan, her daughter Lindsay turned her once-brilliant film career ... damn I’m funny ... into a career as a high, or mid-range, paid escort and bar hostess and now Dina is suffering the consequences.

Yup, y’all, Dina Lohan is broke ... again.

Three years ago, JPMorgan Chase hit Mama Lohan with a lawsuit for non-payment on a $1.3 million loan; now, she may have made a few payments with some of Lindsay’s Oprah Reality Show Money because the lawsuit quickly disappeared.  

Then, in February 2016, the lawsuit was brought back to life when JPMorgan Chase went back to court and started foreclosure procedures again. And since Dina had better things to do—or open, as in box after box of Franzia chardonnay—she never responded and never went to court. In December the judge allowed the bank to foreclose on Chez Lohan, which is expected to hit the auction block.

On top of losing her home, Dina also owes the states of California and New York a total of $9,375.28 in unpaid taxes and the private school where the littlest Lohan, Cody, went has sued her for $10,483.

My next guess is that Dina will seal herself inside a box marked “Used Goods” and ship herself via FedEx to Greece where she’ll swim out to any and every yacht in the Mediterranean looking for her little girl to bail her out ... again.

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Oh this is rich ... as in rich people’s kids are stupid.

Jaden Smith failed his driving test and then, via social media because, why not, he told the entire world that since he couldn’t drive he was planning to move out of Los Angeles:

 “It’s going to be so funny to tell my dad that I failed straight up. Everybody follow your heart, you know what I’m saying? Do exactly what you want to do, be the you that you want to be. I’m about to move out of L.A. There’s a lot of bad things here. Create the life you want for yourself, you know? Don’t try to be somebody else.”

In a completely unrelated story the City of Angels has given an unnamed DMV employee a one million dollar bonus for ensuring that LA streets will be safer, and minus one idiot behind the wheel and on the phone.

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Charlie Sheen has a TV movie coming out soon called Mad Families—and it’s not about his home life no matter what you think—and so he’s been all over the media promoting it ... by telling the world that he is still pissed at Rihanna because one time she didn’t ask Sheen and his porn star ex-fiancé to join her at her table.

That snub lead the two of them, Charlie and RiRi, to get into a TwitFight where she called him an “old queen” and he is still livid.

Yup. Crazy holds a grudge.

And he’s trying to keep baby in a corner, too, because, while appearing on Andy Cohen’s Hot Mess of a Show, Andy played a clip of Charlie and Jennifer Grey from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Charlie hissed:

“Talk about a nose job ruining a career.”

Well, better a nose job than a drug-and-porn-and-knife addiction.

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So, supermodel ... seriously, I am soooo funny ... Bella Hadid is ALLEGEDLY furious that her BFF Selena Gomez might be dating her ex-boyfriend, The Weeknd, that she did the most evil thing a person could do to another person in this day and age: she stopped following Selena on Instagram.

Yup; back in my day I would’a thrown bleach on Selena’s car, or stalked her and slashed her clothes, but that’s so old school. Better to say, “I’m not following you. You’re now down to just 99,347,862 followers!

So.There.

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Rob Schneider made a career out of being a no-talent hack on SNL which he parlayed into a series of film roles as a no-talent hack, so what does he do now?

Well, he apparently believes he should school Georgia Congressman John Lewis—the Civil Rights hero that Donald _____ attacked on Twitter—in the ways of Martin Luther King.

Yes. He did. See, last week John Lewis said the Tiny Handed Tyrant was not a “legitimate” president and so Schneider stepped away from his puzzles and board games to Tweet:

“Rep. Lewis. You are a great person. But Dr. King didn't give in to his anger or his hurt. That is how he accomplished & won Civil Rights.”

Um, Rob, you tool. John Lewis knew MLK, worked alongside MLK, and spoke at the Lincoln memorial right before MLK gave his I Have A Dream speech and you think you, a has-been of epic proportions should school him on civil rights? You’re done, Rob; you’re over.

I mean, my god, you’re making commercials for paper towels now.

Sit the eff down.

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Speaking of stupid celebrities ... Ariana Grande.

She recently posted a picture of herself on Instagram with the line:

“when you’re cute but you’re also the hardest working 23 year old human being on earth #cute #butalso #CEO #unf–kwitable #haventsleptinyears”

Yes, it’s hard work having people literally carry you around like a rag-doll ... it’s hard work walking into a doughnut shop and licking the merchandise ... it’s hard work being Mariah Carey 2.0 and realizing your run will be far shorter.

Sit down with Rob Schneider, dear, you’re two of a kind.

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Okay, we talked about has-been Spice Girl Mel B. so let’s talk about the Spice Girls and Victoria Beckham.

See, last year there was news of a Spice Girl reunion ... well, three fifths of a reunion since Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham and Melanie “Sporty Spice” Chisholm gave the idea a side-eye and a loud No. And that left  just Emma “Baby Spice” Bunton, Melanie “Scary Spice” Brown and Geri “Ginger Spice” Halliwell-Horner to tour as GEM. But now, that mini-reunion is in question because Victoria has ALLEGEDLY enlisted a team of lawyers to block GEM from performing any Spice Girls tunes.

A source—and it’s probably Mel B.’s lips still flapping—says Victoria is worried that mixing new songs with Spice Girls classics will “damage” the group’s legacy.

Now, that’s funny. But the source, er, Mel B. went on to say that the Leftover Spices are “devastated” that Beckham has threatened to sue.

Of course, Victoria is denying these accusations and says she could care less about the reunion. And why should she when she has David Beckham’s ass at hand. Shoot, I’d be the nicest person in the world, never bother a soul, never snark at anyone, if I could grab that ass whenever I wanted.

Just sayin’.

[spice girls, beckham's ass]

Good thing this might be the last season of Sherlock Holmes on Masterpiece Theater because, ALLEGEDLY, Benedict Cumberbatch, AKA Sherlock, and Martin Freeman, AKA Dr. Watson, cannot stand one another.

According to a source—and I’m thinking it’s Mel B. still talking or Dina Lohan looking for coins to pay her tax bills—says Benedict and Martin’s personal relationship is “frosty” and that the two aren’t friends outside of work and only talk to each other when the cameras are rolling.

And if the producers get their way and try to ride this dead horse into a fifth seasons, they may go all The Good Wife onset and have Cumberbatch and Freeman film their scenes separately and then work them into scenes together via editing.

That way the frosty duo can remain cold.

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Remember when Kim Kardastrophe was robbed at gunpoint and was so distraught she stayed away from social media and the family announced that shooting of their “reality” show was on hold?

Yeah, didn’t last long, because now the KUWTK new season is all about Kim’s Trauma. Yes, that family will be playing up the robbery for ratings and Kim will be playing up the robbery for a paycheck.

See,  after the robbery and before her breakdown on her “reality” show, Kim shot a few scenes for the new all-female version of Ocean’s Eleven—called Ocean’s Eight because maybe Hollywood couldn’t find three other actresses?—where the heist involves the gals stealing a valuable necklace off of the neck of a guest at the Met Gala.

And we all know that Kim Kardastrophe is a regular fixture at the Met gala and now we know that she filmed some scenes for Ocean’s Eight. So, you see, she is  devastated about the theft ... devastated she couldn’t turn it into enough money so she could divorce Kanye outright and not have to seek spousal support.

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Cumberbatch And Fry Seek Pardons For "The Other 49,000"

After portraying war hero Alan Turing in The Imitation Game, Benedict Cumberbatch has joined the call in England for overturning the so-called "indecency" convictions handed down to gay men like Turing.

Turing, you may recall, was a computer scientist and mathematician who cracked the Nazi’s Enigma machine World War II, leading to the Allied victory. Turing was also gay, and in 1952 was prosecuted for being gay under Great Britain’s indecency laws; instead of being imprisoned for his "crime," Turing chose chemical castration.

Alan Turing died two years later; and nearly sixty years after that, in 2013, his "crime" was pardoned by Queen Elizabeth II.

After a recent screening of The Imitation Game comedian Stephen Fry started the call to pardon the thousands other gay men who were convicted under the indecency laws, and Cumberbatch agreed:

"Alan Turing was not only prosecuted, but quite arguably persuaded to end his own life early, by a society who called him a criminal for simply seeking out the love he deserved, as all human beings do. Sixty years later that same government claimed to ‘forgive’ him by pardoning him. I find this deplorable, because Turing’s actions did not warrant forgiveness — theirs did — and the 49,000 other prosecuted men deserve the same."

Cumberbatch is right, though, when he says these men, like Turing, do not need to be forgiven for being gay; the government of England needs to ask for their forgiveness — at least of the 15,000 men still alive today who were convicted under this archaic law — and pardon every last one of them.

New ads for The Imitation Game — nominated nominated for several Oscars, including Best Picture — appeared this week, highlighting the plight of Alan Turing and the “other 49,000”:

“Honor this movie. Honor this man. And honor the movement to bring justice.”

An open letter has been addressed to Her Majesty’s Government, imploring young political leaders, like the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, William and Kate, to see that these “convictions” are overturned; the letter reads, in part:

“The apology and pardon of Alan Turing are to be welcomed but ignores over 49,000 men who were convicted under the same law, many of whom took their own lives. An estimated 15,000 men are believed to still be alive. The UK’s homophobic laws made the lives of generations of gay and bisexual men intolerable. It is up to young leaders of today including The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge to acknowledge this mark on our history and not allow it to stand.”

In a sad side note: Prince William and Catherine have opted not to publicly support the campaign to pardon these thousands of men because as a palace spokesperson explained that the royal family felt as if the issue was a purely governmental affair and that they had no place in the discussion.

Some say it was less about that, and more about the royal’s decision to distance themselves from this particular campaign because of the less high-profile men who would be exonerated.

I guess if you were imprisoned for being gay but weren’t a war hero, but just a regular bloke, the royals don’t give a fig for you.

Hopefully, without the help of these fools, the movement will keep on and men punished simply for being who there were, and are, and simply for loving who they loved, will one day no longer be considered criminals.

Can’t say that for the royals, though.

via Huffington Post

I Didn't Say It ...

President Obama, on if he thinks there will be nationwide marriage equality while still in office:

"The Supreme Court now is going to be taking on a case, my hope is that they go ahead and recognize what I think the majority of people in America now recognize which is that two people who love each other and are treating each other with respect and aren't bothering anybody else, why would the law treat them differently? There's no good reason for it. So as a consequence, I'm hopeful the Supreme Court comes to the right decision, but I will tell you, peoples' hearts have opened up on this issue. People know that treating folks unfairly, even if you disagree with their lifestyle choice, they're not bothering you. Let them live their lives and under the law they should be treated equally and as far as me personally, just to see all the loving gay and lesbian couples that I know who are great parents and great partners, the idea that we wouldn't treat them like the brothers and sisters that they are, that doesn't make any sense."

I’m loving that he’s still talking openly about this issue, though, yes, I wish he hadn’t called it a “lifestyle choice” because it’s neither.

It’s a life.

Ben Carson, Tea Party wingnut, on baker’s who refuse to make cakes for same-sex weddings:

"What I have a problem with is when people try to force people to act against their beliefs because they say 'they're discriminating against me.' So they can go right down the street and buy a cake, but no, let's bring a suit against this person because I want them to make my cake even though they don't believe in it. Which is really not all that smart because they might put poison in that cake."  

No one is asking that you act against your beliefs; we’re simply asking that, if you are a business, you cater to everyone equally.

Oh, and Ben, you f**king loon? I hope that if some wingnut who looks up to you — while most of us look down on you — bakes a poison cake for a same-sex wedding, that you are indicted as a co-conspirator.

PS You’re an idiot and you are crazy, no matter how many times you say you aren’t.

Patrick Stewart, on his support of the LGBT community:

"When I look back to my early career and early experience, my ease and comfort being in the company of and intimately close with gay and lesbian colleagues and friends was always, for me, the most natural, and I might even say at times appealing aspects of the life I was living. I think this is where the theater is such an appealing world, because it embraces everything and always has. So there was never a moment where I made an intellectual choice that I would be a supporter of gay civil rights. It was always a natural and uncomplicated choice."

It really is that simple; if you know a gay person, you’ll find out they aren’t so different from anybody else, and you’ll more than likely stand up for them.

Michael Urie, openly gay actor, responding to Billy Crystal’s statement about having a problem with gay sex scenes — Crystal clarified that he meant all sex scenes:

"I don’t think it’s overexposed. If gay sex on TV is too much for you, change the channel and don’t watch it, it’s not for you. I think there is far too much football on TV. But I’m not going around saying they should take football off the air; I’m changing the channel."

That’s all it takes. Change.The.Channel.

Benedict Cumberbatch, on diversity in films, and sticking his foot in his mouth a bit:

“[In America,] it’s an even playing field. [These actors] paid their dues for years by just doing beautiful performances. I think as far as coloured actors go it gets really difficult in the UK, and a lot of my friends have had more opportunities here [in the US] than in the UK and that’s something that needs to change. Something’s gone wrong, we’re not representative enough in our culture of different races and that really does need to step up a pace.”

Okay, so he said coloured — or colored, this side of the pond — and people went ape-sh*t. But, I wonder if, in the UK, it’s not still an acceptable term and not seen as a pejorative term.

David Oyelowo, who played MLK in Selma, coming to Cumberbatch’s defense:

“I think it’s ridiculous. When you look at what he was actually saying it’s clear that he’s a huge supporter of black performers. To attack him for a term, as opposed to what he was actually saying, I think is very disingenuous and is indicative of the age we live in where people are looking for sound bites as opposed to substance. … In America we use the term ‘people of colour’. Is that a million miles different than saying coloured? I know it’s an outdated term but… he was clearly doing something that I think was pretty beautiful.”

I agree with Oyelowo; people took that one word, a mistake or not, and ran with that instead of actually listening to what Cumberbatch was saying. And, again, I wonder, is ‘people of color’ acceptable but ‘colored people’ is not? Anyone?

I Didn't Say It ...

Mike Huckabee, on why he’s leaving Fox News:

"I've never had so much fun in my life. I've met people I never dreamed I'd meet and I've played music with legends in the music business. But I also realize that God hasn't put me on Earth just to have a good time or to make a good living, but rather God has put me on Earth to try to make a good life. There's been a great deal of speculation as to whether I would run for president. And if I were willing to absolutely rule that out, I could keep doing this show. But I can't make such a declaration."

Wait. So, um, God wants you to leave Fox News? Good on God. But if you want people to believe — at least those folks who believe in God — that with all that’s going on in the world, with terrorism, and famine, and death and disease that She’s taking one second to send you a message about running for the White House again, again, you’re more delusional than even I ever thought possible.

Frank Bruni, in a New York Times column, pondering about our political dynasties:

"Jeb and Hillary. Hillary and Jeb. It’s getting to the point where a mention of one yields a reference to the other, where they’re semantically inseparable, presidentially conjoined. Should we just go the extra step, save ourselves some syllables and keystrokes? The 2016 matchup as envisioned by many: Jebary. Or, more economically still, Heb. The fascination with this pair as possible rivals for the White House makes perfect sense, because it defies belief. We’re talking about tomorrow while trafficking in yesterday. We’re saying we need to turn the page by going back to a previous chapter. We’re a country of self-invention (that’s the myth, at least) in thrall to legacies and in the grip of dynasties, riveted by the mightiest surname in modern Democratic politics and its Republican analogue, imagining not just a clash of the titans but a scrum of the successors."

Well, I can see Hillary in the White House, but Jeb? We’ve gone down that road with two other Bush’s and I know we can do better than that.

Benedict Cumberbatch, on Alan Turing, whom he is playing in The Imitation Game:

"He's a man who died tragically early due to a government he helped free from fascism by his work in World War II cracking the Enigma Code, rewarding him for his nature for quietly confessing to who he was - as a gay man in a time of intolerance in the 50s.”

Even why helping with the war effort in a way no one had ever done before, Turing was literally, physically tortured for being gay.

Jamie Dornan, on wearing a special ‘sock’ for the sex scenes for 50 Shades of Grey: 

“Your dignity is intact as much as it’s all tucked away in a little flesh-coloured bag… As a guy you put all your essentials in a little bag and you tie it up like a little bag of grapes and it’s tucked away. It’s quite a peculiar thing to do every day.”

Is it just me, or would anyone else want to be the one to tie up Jamie’s essentials at the start of filming and then let them out at the end of the day.

Russell Crowe, on women in film not aging gracefully:

“The best thing about the industry I’m in — movies — is that there are roles for people in all different stages of life. To be honest, I think you’ll find that the woman who is saying that [the roles have dried up] is the woman who at 40, 45, 48, still wants to play the ingénue, and can’t understand why she’s not being cast as the 21 year old. Meryl Streep will give you 10,000 examples and arguments as to why that’s bullshit, so will Helen Mirren, or whoever it happens to be. If you are willing to live in your own skin, you can work as an actor. If you are trying to pretend that you’re still the young buck when you’re my age, it just doesn’t work.”

I think Crowe has a point. Jennifer Aniston, for example, is a forty-five year old woman but she’s still playing at least 15 to 20 years younger.

That said, the double standard of men in Hollywood acting onscreen with actresses young enough to be their granddaughters, should also be addressed. I saw a graphic yesterday that showed when Denzel Washington was in his 30s and playing married onscreen, the actress who played his wife was twenty-eight. Now that he’s sixty, the actresses who play his wife in films have aged to their mid-30s.Double standard Hollywood.