I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Is it good news for Erika Jayne, one of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, or is it just news?

It appears that Jayne has been dismissed from her soon-to-be ex-husband, Tom Girardi‘s, embezzlement lawsuit. Girardi is accused of stealing settlement money from the families of plane crash victims and using it to fund his and Erika’s lavish lifestyle, as well as Erika’s pop career.

But all is not over for Missus Grifter because the lawsuit will be refiled in California, according to Jay Edelson, the lawyer representing the victims, who took to Twitter to stop the presses on people thinking Erika is off the hook:

“No chance we are letting Erika Jayne off the hook, especially given the evidence we have found.”

Ooh, yummy goodness.

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There’s an old saying that “Everything old is new again,” though I like to think it should read, “Everything old is just Madonna trying to stay relevant.”

During a recent Instagram Live, Madonna—a big supporter of the #FreeBritney movement—sucked up some of the attention by suggesting she’d like to do a stadium tour with Britney:

“Hell yeah. I have to. Stadium baby. Me and Britney, what about that? Not sure if she’d be into it, but it would be really cool. We could like, reenact the original [kiss].”

Madonna was referencing the time nearly twenty years ago when she and Britney kissed on the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards.

Oh yes, Madge, with all that’s going on, and gone on, in the world since 2003, everyone’s dying to see Britney tongue-kiss her mee-maw and then lip sync to some cheesy auto-tuned performance of “Like a Virgin.”

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Kanye West is once again proving what a stalkerish ex-husband he can be. First, after Missus West, Kim Kardastrophe, bought him out of the family home, he went and bought the house across the street just to be close. But then Kimmy went on SNL, to which she invited Kanye to attend, and kissed Pete Davidson in a skit right in front of her ex-husband, and then began dating Davidson,.

So what does a mentally challenged narcissist do to respond? Well, if you’re a ‘Ye’ you threaten  to beat Pete’s ass in a song and then dog Pete’s wardrobe as “mall clothes”—this from someone who “designs” for The Gap—and then you sink even lower by starting a rumor that “Pete Davidson has AIDS.”

In a world of lows, not one sinks lower, faster or craziest that Kanye Kardastrophe West.

Ye needs to watch his mouth because blogger Tasha K recently lost a $4 million lawsuit to Cardi B for suggesting Cardi has herpes, so Pete might just sue the crazy out of Kanye and then use the money to take Kimmy on a splashy paparazzi-filled vacation.

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There’s another old saying that goes, ‘You can never be too rich or too thin.’ I offer a new saying, ‘You can never be too rich or too stupid.’ Amirite Justin Bieber?

The Biebs purchased a Bored Ape Yacht Club—that’s it up there—NFT for $1.29 million even though the item had an estimated value of $208,237. That’s 300% more than its valued market price.

Rich. Stupid.

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The season finale of the Sex and the City revival, And Just Like That… is out now and show creator Michael Patrick King spoke to Variety about the reactions to the show ... not so good ... Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, and Kristin Davis ... and that infamous third movie of the series that was going to be about Big dying; King says now that he’s glad Kim Cattrall’s refusal to do the film killed it because he was able to kill Big on a Peloton. 

And then MPK talked about how, even though a second season has not been ordered, he is already talking with SJP about the show and who should do it and such, and whether or not Kim Cattrall would be asked back:

“No … because she’s said what she had said. The only place I participate in magical thinking is in fiction. You take people at their word, and you’re a smart producer–you don’t back yourself into a corner. Magically thinking, it’s great to have Samantha. I have no realistic expectation of Kim Cattrall ever appearing again.”

King says that the door for Cattrall to return is closed and Kim says, at least I think she’d say:

“Bitch, I locked that door years ago, tossed the key, and never looked back.”

And now even SJP is talking about how Kim Cattrall can never come back to the series. It's kinda said that SJP and MPK cannot talk about the show without mentioning Kim and Kim doesn't talk about the show at all.

#TeamKim

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I guess when the nice lady gets pushed, she suggests maybe she should change.

After her season of discontent—a Twitter user urged people to post nasty stories about her and then she did her show from home and compared it to being in prison—Ellen DeGeneres is trying hard to shove her image back to likability, and stepped in it badly when she tried to show compassion for the murder of George Floyd by tossing a Palinesque word salad Tweet:

“For things to change, things must change.” 

And when the backlash ensued, Ellen deleted that idiotic fluff Tweet and said she will do and say more to help the Black Lives Matter movement and become a more useful ally:

“I stand with the protestors who are exercising their rights and I want to be an ally fighting for change. As a white person, I don’t always know what to say. I think right now white people have to just sit in our discomfort and we have to admit there’s a lot we don’t know about black people’s lives and about a black person’s experience. There is horrible injustice towards black people that has been ignored for far too long. I like to think that I’m doing my best, but I think it’s time that we have to look at ourselves and we have to say we have not done enough. I want to learn how to be a better person, how to do better. I was the dancing lady for a little while and now I want to help educate my audience. I want to educate myself.”

Nice Ellen, but you forgot you’re a rich white person, so that makes you less like even white people in this country. You at a protest would probably get an escort out of the march, while if I was at the same protest I might be bludgeoned by the police.

What I’m  saying, El, is less talk, and more action. Words are meaningless unless you actually do something.

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Even though Lori Loughlin pleaded guilty to being a horrible mother trying to bribe her kid’s way into a good college, she’s not giving up on coming back to TV …as an actress and not a defendant.

Lori and her husband Mossimo Giannulli finally pleaded guilty for their involvement in the College Admissions Scandal, in which they paid $500,000 to Rick Singer to get their nearly illiterate daughters. Lori took a plea of two months in prison, while Mossimo agreed to five, and if a judge signs off on the plea deal, Lori must pay a $150,000 fine, do two years of supervised release, and 100 hours of community service, while Mossimo must pay $250,000, serve two years of supervised release, and complete 250 hours of community service.

But after that Lori wants to get back to acting. I think a good place to start would be Lori Loughlin “acting” like she felt remorse for being a terrible parent, a horrible human being, and a despicable self-entitled ass.

But that’s just me.

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After Faith Stowers called out the racism she experienced while working Vanderpump Rules, Bravo was forced to take action and fired four cast members over a plethora of racist behavior and tweets and stupid, stupid comments.

Gone are longtime reality show idiots Stassi Schroeder and Kristen Doute, along with newcomers Max Boyens, and Brett Caprioni. Kristen and Stassi were the original members called out—Stassi had a long and recorded history of racist talk—but Max and Brett faced backlash for their own racism-is-funny-until-I-get-caught-and-then-I-havepretend-remorse tweets earlier in the season of the show.

Faith said she felt “vindicated” by the action, but it seems she’s not done trying to clean house; she also wants VPR’s manwhore, Jax Taylor, fired , too:

“I didn’t even know the depth of the crazy things that they were saying [but] I got DMs from other shows, from other females on other shows saying that Mr. Taylor had said some crazy things to them that were racial. So, I think he gets a pat on the back a lot. But I think that if you’re going to do it for [four] people, they should do it for some other people as well.”

Billie Lee, who used to appear on VPR, has already called for Taylor’s firing saying that he refused to work with her because she’s trans.

So, racist and transphobic, a manwhore, and a basic douchebag; not all fireable offenses but …

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Last week Justin Bieber crapped out a statement in which he apologized co-opting black culture as his own, um, musical style. But is that the only time Justin used the black community to push himself ahead?

Not according to one Lil Twist, AKA Christopher Lynn Moore, who was a member of Bieber‘s posse ten years back. This week, Twist revealed that while he was rolling with The Biebs, he was used by Justin’s management team to take the fall for drug charges.

Appearing on Mina SayWhat’s podcast Mina’s House, Twist says that Justin’s team was awful to him, and that he “took that heat” for weed charges:

“If they would have put weed charges on Justin in his early career. It would have been bad on him. So, I got a call one day saying, 'Twist, do you really love this kid?' I said, 'Yes.' They said, 'Cool, if you love him then you can take the heat for him because you can come off a little weed charge. You’re associated with Lil Wayne. You’re a rapper.'”

And so, he did it because, well, clearly, he’s a moron. Twist was arrested in 2013 twice while in Justin’s cars and also ALLEGEDLY had a huge weed-filled party at Justin’s mansion; he even says that sometimes he wouldn’t even be at the scene of the crime and would still get blamed:

“It got to a point where I didn’t even have to be there at times and they were putting it, ‘Twist did it, Twist did it, Twist did it,’… It became overwhelming.”

A source—and it’s possibly Justin, co-opting another friend—says Justin doesn’t remember doing anything of the sort:

“Justin and Twist don’t have a relationship anymore, Justin wishes Twist well and finds these comments unfortunate and completely untrue.”

I’m kinda Team Lil Twist, because Lil Justin seems like a Lil Liar.

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I can’t believe it, but it appears that Hell has finally frozen over:

After several in the fashion biz, most notably Andre Leon Talley, called out Anna Wintour for being a bitch and perhaps even a racist, Anna … Wintour … is … apologizing in a note sent out to staff last week:

“I want to start by acknowledging your feelings and expressing my empathy towards what so many of you are going through: sadness, hurt, and anger too.”

And stop. Anna Wintour and empathy go together like Chanel and Crocs, but:

“I want to say this especially to the Black members of our team — I can only imagine what these days have been like.”

And stop, because, like Ellen, a rich white powerful woman knows what it’s like to be black. No, Anna, you cannot imagine, but:

“But I also know that the hurt, and violence, and injustice we’re seeing and talking about have been around for a long time. Recognizing it and doing something about it is overdue.”

And stop; but then, if you know it’s overdue, why haven’t you done something before now? Oh, because you, and Vogue apparently have a history of not promoting, hiring, helping black employees:

“I want to say plainly that I know Vogue has not found enough ways to elevate and give space to Black editors, writers, photographers, designers and other creators. We have made mistakes too, publishing images or stories that have been hurtful or intolerant. I take full responsibility for those mistakes. It can’t be easy to be a Black employee at Vogue, and there are too few of you. I know that it is not enough to say we will do better, but we will—and please know that I value your voices and responses as we move forward. I am listening and would like to hear your feedback and your advice if you would like to share either.”

But please go through proper channels because, well, Anna can’t make room for just anyone with a complaint.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Oh Jussie. Former Empire actor, and Gay Boy Who Cried Wolf,  Jussie Smollett ALLEGEDLY had a sexual relationship with one of his ALLEGED ‘attackers,’ Ambimbola ‘Abel’ Osundairo.

Apparently, the couple, before Abel ‘bashed’ Jussie for some of his Empire coins, used to party together and go to a Chicago bathhouse to, um, well, bathe?

Oh Jussie, you don’t hire your sidepiece to ALLEGEDLY beat you up for sympathy press and a bigger contract for a TV show. Everybody knows that.

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This doesn’t look odd at all … Bruce Willis is self-isolating with ex-wife Demi Moore, and his three oldest children and their boyfriends and Demi’s assistant rather than self-isolate with his current wife, Emma Hemming, and their two young children. A source—Demi, no doubt because, seriously, what else does she have to do—says:

“Demi and Emma are close, and all three get on great as a big blended family. There are no issues at all. Emma needed to stay in L.A. with the young kids.”

Emma had to stay in LA while Bruce chose to stay with Demi? Uh huh; look, maybe it is all kumbaya in the Willis-Moore-Hemming household, but still  Bruce chose to self-isolate with his grown kids and not his younger ones?

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Some JLo juice? Okay … for whatever reason, Jose Canseco is still trying to convince the world that Alex Rodriquez is a cheating on JLo.

It all began last year, when Jose was watching World of Dance and Lopez, who at the time was newly engaged to A-Rod, and this annoyed Jose who claimed A-Rod was having an affair with his ex-wife Jessica Canseco—which Jessica has denied. Sadly, no one cared about Jose’s claims, but that hasn’t stopped him.

So, since no one cares—and let’s be clear, this will be another notch on JLo’s headboard and she be divorced from A-rod … if they ever marry … quicker than you can say How many times have you been married?—Canseco took to Twitter to wish:

“Happy Easter to everyone except Alex Rodriguez.”

Ooooh, burn. I love grown-assed men acting like thirteen-year-old girls. But then Jose followed that up with a message directed at JLo herself:

“Jennifer Lopez I have something to show you for your eyes only you will not regret it please contact Morgan at 702 374 3735”

Okay, first things first, who the fuck is Morgan? And how many Twit-heads tried calling him or her? And lastly, what the fuck is wrong with Jose Canseco? Did the steroids cause him to turn into a mean girl?

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It looks like one Anna Wintour won’t make Ricky Gervais’ Naughty List because Anna wants y’all to know that she has taken a pay cut during the pandemic.

Conde Nast, publisher of numerous magazines including Vogue, decided to tackle the COVID-19 situation with pay cuts and reduced work hours. CEO Roger Lynch is taking a 50% pay cut in an attempt to keep the company afloat, and a “temporary” pay cut will affect 10 to 20 percent of employees, but only those making $100,000 a year or more. It will go into effect May 1st.

Wintour—who ALLEGEDLY rakes in about $2 million a year—and I thought it’d be more—is included in the temporary pay cut group and will see her salary will be decreased by 20%.

Yes, people, Anna will have to make do on $1.6 million. I am starting a GoFundMe at once.

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Blac Chyna. Gurl. Did you learn nothing from Tori Spelling trying to use the pandemic to make people pay her to be on social media with them? Or, are you just that stupid?

Rhetorical question. You see, Chyna is selling FaceTime calls for $950 and social media follow backs for $250.

I wouldn’t pay this talentless miscreant social media whore 2 bucks to follow me home with my groceries, but it is funny to think that Chyna thinks she’s worth $950 on social media and Tori wanted just $95.

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After learning how hard Sam Smith has it in their London mansion, or how Justin Timberlake is struggling to raise ONE kid in the middle of a gated luxury community in Montana, or how Ellen feels like she’s living Orange Is The New Black But This Time In A Montecito Mansion … now we have Justin Bieber, and his streetwear model  wife, Hailey Baldwin, along with their BFF, Kendall Jenner, in an Instagram livestream talking about how important it is to acknowledge their privilege during these trying times.

Hailey hovers in the background making duck faces while Justin lets everyone know how blessed and rich they are, and they shouldn’t feel bad for it since they “worked” hard for it. Yes, while millions are out of work, and millions more have no healthcare, and thousands upon thousands are dying each and every day,  Justin and Hailey sit in their mansion and spew shiz like:

“How blessed are we to be able to like… a lot of people obviously in this time have a crappy situation. You know, they look at us and obviously, we’ve worked hard for where we’re at, so it’s like, you can’t feel bad for the things we have.”

At which point Kendall chimes in:

“[We’re] so blessed. I think about it all the time.”

Cut to the chase: this is what celebrities look and sound like when they get no attention. And to sit in your mansion and talk about how lucky you are because you worked so hard seems to imply that anyone without a mansion and servants and privilege doesn’t work hard at all.

The greatest payback would be for people to remember how these asshats acted, and when all this is over, stop buying their idiotic music or watching their stupid shows or, and this will kill these media whores, stop following and liking and sharing.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I loathe Taylor Swift, but then I read this, and while I still loathe her, I found it funny, narcissistic, and just plain ridiculous.

I also loathe Justin Bieber, but then I read this, and while I still loathe himr, I found it funny, narcissistic, and just plain ridiculous

Rumor has it that Swifty tried to have Justin Bieber and his entourage kicked out of the Dogpound Gym in West Hollywood so she could work out in private. Her request was denied.

Anyway, Justin was “working out” when Swifty showed up for her work-out with a trainer—which was mostly just posing while people tried to make her look interesting—and she wanted the gym shut down for her personal private use only. And everyone—including the Biebs—was told to vamoose because Taylor had an appointment.

Well, Justin pipsqueaked up and said he was going to finish his “work out” and then and only then would he leave. And Justin, who did not have an appointment, finished and left and Taylor got in her “work out.”

Wow, who to pick in this scuffle … which side to take … Oh yeah, I’m #TeamNoOne.

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While the old adage that there’s a sucker born every minute was proven true once more now that GOOP’s coochie candles sold out, we know that one Martha Stewart never bought one and never will.

On a recent Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen, Martha opened up an enormous can of shade about Gwyneth Paltrow’s latest attention beg:

“I’m sure it’s sold out. She does that kind of irritating … she’s trying to zhush up the public to listen to her. And that’s great, I mean, let her do her thing. I wouldn’t buy that candle.”

And when Andy Cohen asked Martha what it said about America that people were buying a candle that smelled of GOOP cooch, Martha said:

“I think it’s just a lot of guys who are horny.”

Buy a GOOP Cooch Candle™, grab some lube and tissues and have a tug, eh Martha?

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While we’re all waiting for that new Adele album to drop, there’s some other new music you might wanna get your paws on. After months of teasing the public, Lindsay Lohan has let fans … Fans? Plural? … know that her newest album will be out at the end of next month.

Get in line now, it’s sure to sell out faster than Lindsey’s Vagina Candle which smelled of weed and Stoli and bar mats.

While we know that Lohan signed with a record label last June … ALLEGEDLY …  and she did release a new single, the “wildly” popular …at least with Lohans … Xanax, last September, here we are, a month into the New Year and where’s the album, LiLo?

Lindsay let the 700 people who follow her on WorldofLindsayLohan know that her newest album is dropping in February. 

She didn’t say what year, however, so maybe don’t get in line just yet.

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What? She fooled us? She wasn’t a spoiled drunken stupid party girl, but rather a simple girl with simple needs all this time?

Apparently so, because … wait for it, it’s rich or at least it pretends to be … Paris Hilton now claims her whole life up until right this minute was an act! At least that’s what she’s claiming in the upcoming documentary This Is Paris, and she is out pushing this thing with all kinds of revelations:

“I’ve never done anything like this in my life. In this film, I discuss things I’ve never discussed before. I hope that people are going to see who I truly am.”

A shallow vapid useless splotch of DNA? Honey, we already knew that.

But Paris swears the documentary follows her in “real life,” and that, well, let’s have her say because every time I try I start laughing so hard I can’t type:

“It follows me in my real life, everything I’ve done before was me playing a character. I was talking about things that are very hard to talk about. It was an amazing experience but it was very scary. I was freaking out.”

Paris also swears she was in on the “joke” that she was some dimwitted blond dye job with no discernible intellect or talent or use.

This Is Paris will debut on YouTube in May—so you know it’s the truth—and afterwards Paris will begin working in soup kitchen in South Central while getting a Masters in Social Work, opening up her Beverly Hills manse to immigrant refugees, and donating a lung to a needy child.

Seriously. ALLEGEDLY.

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Hockey player, Brooks Laich and his wife, actress[?], Julianne Hough, have been having marital problems or something because she’s doing that Oops, I forgot my wedding ring thing celebrities do; oh, and sources, I believe them to be Julianne Hough, say there have been marital issues for months.

Brooks has a podcast, upon which he often has Julianne and they discuss everything, but this marital strife is on the down low? Or, is it Brooks? While Julianne has said before that she’s not completely straight, Brooks is now suggesting that he’s like to explore his sexuality.

Brooks recently spoke with Gavin DeGraw on his How Men Think podcast and talked about how he isn’t “100 percent fully expressed” in terms of his true sexuality and that now he will do a “pleasure first” route in his choices. What does that mean? Well, Brook said it like this:

“One of my goals this year is to really explore like, learning about sexuality … People think that sexuality is just the act of sex, of just having sex and there’s so much more to it. Here’s a question … Are you fully 100% fully expressed in your true sexuality? With your partner? With everything? You could not imagine having a better sex life? Are you truly there? … I’m not either. So that’s what one of my goals this year is to really dive into.”

Does he want kink or does he want dick?

I’d offer to lend a hand …or whatever …either way.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

It was last we talked about how furious DJ Khaled was that his latest “musical” effort didn’t top the Billboard charts and how he threw a fit at his record label.

Well, he’s still pissy and is now threatening to sue Billboard ALLEGING that the organization unfairly disqualified more than 100,000 sales of “Father of Asahd,” robbing him of the No. 1 spot.

Khaled was her-sterical when his album came in at No.  2 to Tyler, the Creator’s IGOR after Billboard ALLEGEDLY discounted downloads old by the DJ and his producer as part of a “bundle deal” with an energy drink, a controversial industry practice to boost sales.

Billboard had agreed to count the downloads, but later backtracked, disqualifying Khaled’s entire sales from the promotion, arguing there were “anomalies” in his figures.

And now DJ Khaled is suing mad.

Seriously. Someone put him down for a nap; he cranky.

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I am no fan of Tom Cruise, y’all know that, but this is high-larious: Justin Bieber … Justin Effing Bieber … has challenged Tommy to an MMA-style fight with this Tweet:

“I wanna challenge Tom Cruise to fight in the octagon. Tom if you dont take this fight your scared and you will never live it down. Who is willing to put on the fight?”

I believe Tommy will have Suri step into the octagon for him, and even Suri could whip The Biebs.

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Gwyneth Paltrow is pooping shiz out of her mouth again, this time about her latest marriage to Brad Falchuck.

She says they only spend four nights a week together and, Gwynnie says, all her friends are jealous of the fact that the newlyweds live separately.

Huh. The last time Paltrow lived separately from a husband she called it Consciously Uncoupling and a divorce soon followed.

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Khloé Kardastrophe has a new spin coming out. And by that, I mean she thinks she can just tell a lie and the world will accept it as truth.

See, she wants y’all to know that she didn’t know she was breaking up a relationship when she began schtupping Tristan Thompson and getting knocked up because she didn’t know that he was already in a relationship with the Baby Mama of his first child.

It all began when she decided to drag Jordyn Woods for getting with Tristan given the fact that he cheated on his Baby Mama with Khloe until she got knocked up.

See the hypocrisy? Khloe doesn’t. But then she is a Kardastrophe.

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Wendy Williams’ life was a mess for a long time, given that her husband has been carrying on an affair for years using Wendy’s coins to fund his tryst, but now that they’ve separated—given that his side piece recently birthed his child—it appears Wendy’s life hasn’t gotten and easier.

Wendy, who nearly has a breakdown over the end of her marriage, though, has jumped right into a new relationship, and this one is as messy as the ex. See, her new man is not only there to console her, he has a record …and not the musical kind … and Wendy knows all about it and it’s totally fine!

Wendy, who left a sober living facility right after divorcing her cheating spouse also has her own drama with her son, Kevin Jr., whose Daddy, The Cheater, tried to pit against Wendy. Daddy, er, Kevin Sr. was trying to get more payouts from Wendy to take care of the side piece and the baby and told Junior to stop taking “handouts” from his mom. Wendy spilled all the tea to TMZ, but then shared the bright spot that she had a new man in her life: 27-year-old Marc Tomblin.

Sadly, as TMZ does, they checked Marc out and found court records that show that Marc pled guilty to conspiracy to commit robbery with a dangerous weapon in 2013.

But, again, it’s all good because Wendy knows. I guess when you’ve been conned by a guy for decades, you take a hot minute and check the new dude, as Wendy says:

“I’m not stupid! … I am a 54-year-old grown ass woman. I know what I’m doing … Look, my husband had a full baby with a woman he was involved with for 15 years … where I was cooped up only to be a show pony. Now, I’m living my life.”

With an ex-con.

I guess you gotta start somewhere.

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It's Snarkurday!

Recently Jessica Chastain revealed that a big named actor told her to stop Tweeting about the sex scandals in Hollywood and the #MeToo movement. People speculated that it was everyone from Matthew McConaughey to Idris Elba to Matt Damon.

I thought, Damon? No way, but now … Minnie Driver, who dated Damon during and shortly after appearing together in Good Will Hunting—note: Damon broke up with her when he told Oprah on her show that he didn’t have a girlfriend which was news to his girlfriend, Minnie—read Damon’s latest mansplaining of how the world works and had a few choice words for her him.

It seems during an upcoming interview for ABC with film critic Peter Travers, Matt thought it best to explain that some kinds of sexual harassment aren’t as bad as others:

“I think it’s wonderful that women are feeling empowered to tell their stories and it’s totally necessary. I do believe there’s a spectrum of behavior… There’s a difference between patting someone on the butt and rape or child molestation, right? Both of those behaviors need to be confronted and eradicated without question, but they shouldn’t be conflated.”

Well, Minnie read Matt’s interview and took to The Twitter, with a link to Damon’s interview:

“Good God, SERIOUSLY?”

And then she added:

“Gosh it’s so *interesting how men with all these opinions about women’s differentiation between sexual misconduct, assault and rape reveal themselves to be utterly tone deaf and as a result, systemically part of the problem (*profoundly unsurprising)”

Good for Minnie, because, um, Matt? I like you, I do—though you aren’t Husband In My Head material—but any form of sexual harassment, from verbal to a pat on the ass to groping to rape is unacceptable, m’kay?

I believe you have daughters, so I’m sure if they told you about a man in a powerful position, their boss, or co-workers, grabbing their ass, you wouldn’t tell them it’s all relative. Would you?

Sit down, please, and don’t speak for women again.

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Well, y’all remember that Omarosa Manigault Newman resigned was dragged from the White House last week and she instantly ran to the media to tell sell her story.

And the media wasn’t having it, as when Robin Roberts listened to Omarosa and then said, “Well, she has a story to sell. Bye Felicia.”

And that also set Omarosa off, and so she went back to the media to whine about it, and told Inside Edition what she thought of Robin’s farewell bid:

“That was petty. It’s a black woman civil war.”

Petty; from the woman who made a career of petty during her career on reality TV.

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With the #MeToo movement having a seemingly endless supply of sexual predators to out, it’s not going anywhere. But one ALLEGED sexual harasser, Russell Simmons, started his own hashtag movement in an effort to deflect from the allegations leveled at him.

Hence the #NotMe movement, and this statement from Simmons:

“Today, I begin to properly defend myself. I will prove without any doubt that I am innocent of all rape charges. Today, I will focus on “The Original Sin” (Keri Claussen), the claim that created this insane pile on of my #MeToo. Stay tuned! We’ll share information today… And tomorrow the case of Jenny Lumet. My intention is not to diminish the #MeToo movement in anyway, but instead hold my accusers accountable. #NotMe Again, this is not a movement against or even in conjunction with #Metoo . It’s just a statement about my innocence.”

Trouble is, some women saw the emerging #NotMe mess and decided that they’d stayed silent long enough. And so that’s when former America’s Next Top Model judge Kelly Cutrone revealed her story about the time Russell tried to rape her in 1991, saying:

“The #NotMe thing? I’m going to do a #YeahYou. F**k you.”

Kelly says she and Simmons were walking to a party together; he’d asked her to stop by his apartment earlier in the evening, but she declined. As they walked, he said he needed to stop in at a friend’s place and when they got in the door—of an apartment she now thinks was his—he pushed her to the ground and tried to take her clothes off. She kicked and screamed and threatened to have him murdered and finally escaped, but stayed silent for reasons which are her own until Simmons started #NotMe.

Today she says of Simmons, an avid yogi:

“I hope he chokes on his om pendant.”

Brava! #YeahYou

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Last summer Beyoncé had to pull out of Coachella because she was “pregnant” and with no such excuse this year the show will go on.

But for anyone who wants a Destiny’s Child reunion, child please. Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams won’t be on the guest list, nor will any of Destiny’s former children, like LaTavia Roberson and LeToya Luckett, because Beyoncé is about Beyoncé, and nothing more.

Still, the Beyhive is saying there are all kinds of clues on social media that there will be some massive reunion and they will not let it go.

Until it happens and then they act like they knew all along, lest they piss off Bey.

Again, if it’s not all about Beyoncé it’s not happening.

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Well, Track Palin, the spawn of Mama Grizzly Bore™, has been arrested on domestic violence charges … again.

 Track was arraigned on three counts: felony burglary, misdemeanor reckless assault and misdemeanor criminal mischief for causing up to $500 in property damage; each charge was related to domestic violence.

A source close to the situation—and you know it’s Blister because she’s been out of the news lately—says Track was breaking and entering into his parent’s home where he beat up his daddy, Todd, before Todd and the MGB™ fled the scene in two different cars.

The Palins, America’s white trashiest family.

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Oh, if only this applied to her entire life … 

The New York Daily News is reporting that Mariah Carey has contractually agreed to stay “positively silent” about ex-fiancé James Packer after he paid her millions of dollars in settlement when they engagement ended.

Like I said, if only this applied to her entire life.

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I am no fan of Mira Sorvino, but even she didn’t deserve this …

 Back in October. Mira told The New Yorker that in 1995 Harvey Weinstein tried pursuing her while promoting Mighty Aphrodite and that because she said ‘No! A thousand times No’ her career instantly stalled. Weinstein responded by saying that there were “never any acts of retaliation against any women for refusing his advances.”

Well, that might be a lie, because directors Peter Jackson and Terry Zwigoff both claim that Harvey Weinstein actively encouraged them not to work with Mira Sorvino. In fact, Peter Jackson, who calls Harvey and Bob Weinstein “second-rate Mafia bullies”, says the two ALLEGEDLY orchestrated a “smear campaign” against both Sorvino and fellow Weinstein-accuser Ashley Judd.

Jackson says he met with the Weinstein’s in the late 90s to pitch the Lord of  the Rings and The Hobbit films, and expressed interest in casting Mira and Ashley in one or more of the films, but says Harvey and Bob told him that both Mira and Ashley were a “nightmare” to work with, and that he should “avoid them at all costs.”

Jackson was kind of disgusted by the conversation and, instead of dealing with Weinstein and Miramax to release the films, he took the project to New Line Cinema, though he did not hire Sorvino or Judd. Jackson says he then chose to never work with the Weinstein’s again.

Director Terry Zwigoff backs up Jackson’s story with one of his own; he says he considered casting Sorvino in 2003s Bad Santa, which was being made by Dimension, a division of The Weinstein Company, but every time he brought up Mira’s name over the phone the Weinstein’s hung up on him:

“I was interested in casting Mira Sorvino in BAD SANTA, but every time I mentioned her over the phone to the Weinstein’s, I'd hear a CLICK. What type of person just hangs up on you like that?! I guess we all know what type of person now. I'm really sorry Mira.”

The Weinstein Boys, Harvey’s the pig and Bob’s the pig who covered for the pig while it was convenient.

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Speaking of pigs… after decades of unchecked sexual harassment stories broke last week, chef Mario Batali has been fired from The Chew, The Food Network has put the kibosh on a planned Malto Mario reboot, and Batali has stepped down from day to day operations at the 26 restaurants he co-owns.

Clearly, folks are done with Batali so what does he do? Mario, who has already publicly apologized for his behavior, decided to apologize again in a newsletter:

“As many of you know, this week there has been some news coverage about some of my past behavior.

I have made many mistakes and I am so very sorry that I have disappointed my friends, my family, my fans and my team. My behavior was wrong and there are no excuses. I take full responsibility.

Sharing the joys of Italian food, tradition and hospitality with all of you, each week, is an honor and privilege. Without the support of all of you — my fans — I would never have a forum in which to expound on this. 

I will work every day to regain your respect and trust.

Ps. in case you’re searching for a holiday-inspired breakfast, these Pizza Dough Cinnamon Rolls are a fan favorite.”

Yes, after apologizing for sexually harassing and assaulting women, he included a recipe.

I think they should call them To Catch A Predator Cinnamon Buns!

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Uh oh, blame it on The Biebs?

Selena Gomez's mother, Mandy, was hospitalized after a "heated” conversation with her daughter over Selena’s ALLEGED rekindling of her relationship with Justin Bieber.

Sources—and it’s probably Justin—say Mandy had a shouting match with Selena about the reunion, and when Selena said she and The Biebs were in couple’s therapy, Mandy flipped. A fight ensued, police were called, and Mandy was "voluntarily" transported to a hospital for treatment.

Like I said, blame it on The Biebs when mother’s try to verbally beat their daughters who go back to dating the pipsqueak.

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