Bobservations

Carlos’ hernia surgery is scheduled for November 5th. Last week he said he wanted to call the surgeon:

“Why?”

“It’s not bothering me anymore so maybe I don’t need the surgery.”

“Honey, you still have the hernia and the surgery is still necessary.”

“But it’s not—”

This week he said he wanted to call the surgeon again:

“Why?”

“It’s really bothering me now.”

November 5th cannot get here soon enough!

He was looking into new cell phones this week, and I muttered something about wanting a laptop. He said:

“We can talk about that, but I’d like to do the phones first.”

I said:

“How come when I want something it’s ‘Let’s talk about that later,’ but when you want something you get it right away?”

In his howler monkey voice, he shrieked:

“What am I getting?”

I smile sweetly and said:

“You get to have surgery.”

Luckily, I wrestled the frying pan from his hands before he could use it.

Bigot, homophobe, and woman-hater Karen Pence, AKA Mother, says she loves the way _____ treats young women according to The New York Times’ White House correspondent Katie Rogers:

“Tonight, in Minnesota, a state the campaign really wants to win, [Karen Pence] is on stage praising POTUS. She says she likes how he treats young women and sees the respect he has for his daughters. ‘As a mom, I was all in’ after seeing how he interacted with her daughter, Charlotte.”

Yup, she self-avowed Christian is ‘all in’ with a man who has been married three times, cheated on all three of his wives and said this:

“I moved on her, and I failed. I'll admit it. I did try and fuck her. She was married. And I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, ‘I'll show you where they have some nice furniture.’ I took her out furniture—I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn't get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden, I see her, she's now got the big phony tits and everything. She's totally changed her look… You know I'm automatically attracted to beautiful—I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab 'em by the pussy. You can do anything.”

Karen Pence thinks that this is a man who treats women well.

Delta Airlines flies from Salt Lake City to Houston every day, but one recent trip was completely different: this time Delta took 120 girls between 12 to 18 to NASA's Johnson Space Center for International Girls in Aviation Day, an event designed to encourage more women to enter the male-dominated field.

Even better, these 120 girls, who came from area STEM schools, flew on a  with an all-female pilot and flight crew, ramp agents and gate agents on the ground, and women in the control tower giving pilots instructions.

Girl power in action.

Twitter user Mercurial Era celebrated their grandmother Winnie’s birthday on the social media site with a clip of their 100-year-old grandmother holding up a Make America Great Again hat and saying:

“All I want for my birthday is for someone to impeach this sucker.”

Let’s give Grandma Winnie the best gift ever!

See the clip HERE.

Last week Kellogg put Raisin Bran, Corn Flakes, Rice Krispies, Frosted Flakes, Froot Loops and Frosted Mini Wheats “all together” on one box to make a statement about LGBTQ inclusivity. The company also made a $50,000 donation to GLAAD to support its annual anti-bullying Spirit Day, saying:

“We all belong together. So for the first time in history, our famous mascots and cereals are offered exclusively together in the same box for All Together Cereal. It’s a symbol of acceptance no matter how you look, where you’re from or who you love. We believe that all people deserve an environment where they can be their best selves. That’s why Kellogg’s has joined forces as an official partner of GLAAD to celebrate Spirit Day, the largest most visible anti-bullying campaign in the world where millions wear purple to stand up against bullying, and to support a more accepting world for LGBTQ youth. Kellogg is donating $50,000 to GLAAD to support their anti-bullying and LGBTQ advocacy work. Each limited-edition box of All Together Cereal includes individual boxes: Raisin Bran, Corn Flakes, Rice Krispies, Frosted Flakes, Froot Loops and Frosted Mini Wheats.”

And bigots and homophobes everywhere went nuts, telling Twitter they would no longer eat a Kellogg cereal.

Kellogg, a billion-dollar corporation, basically went, “Oh well …”

Across the pond, over to the UK, a shopping center where England’s first Chick-fil-A opened a few days ago has announced this week that the anti-LGBTQ chicken franchise’s lease would not be renewed because of backlash from the LGBTQ; said the shopping center in a statement:

“We always look to introduce new concepts for our customers, however, we have decided on this occasion that the right thing to do is to only allow Chick-Fil-A to trade with us for the initial six-month pilot period, and not to extend the lease any further.”

It’s all because, even though Chick-fil-A pledged to stop giving to anti-LGBTQ groups, a new report shows the company actually increased its Hate Donations.

Oh, so sorry, Chick-fil-Hate, but you gotta shutter that shop because Hate don’t pay in the UK.

Cyrus Amini is a French model of Spanish-Iranian descent and yet he’s giving me young Colin Farrell vibes and whenever I get a Colin Farrell vibe I … where was I? Oh, Cyrus. He’s a good poser, too; I’d like that second photo as a statue for the yard at Casa Bob y Carlos.

He rocks a suit, and a swimsuit, doesn’t he?

Briefly speaking, I’m back at those vibes …

Oh, Baby Jeebus, the man simply smolders.

Swoon.

The Funny Papers

Nate Beeler, Mike Smith, Clay Bennett, Steve Sack, Mike Luckovich, Adam Zyglis, Monte Wolverton, David Horsey

Random Musings

That picture of Mittsy and _____ sharing a candlelight meal looked, to me, like the most Grindr date in the world ... and, is it just me, or does anyone else think Mittsy could write a book on how a man can go from being a con man and a fraud and the worst possible candidate for president in all of history, to being the great unifier of the American people in a matter of months. Or, maybe Mittsy will write a book on how he kissed some ass to get a government job.

It’s no secret around Casa bob y Carlos that when it comes to decorating for the holidays—that’s our home this year—I become somewhat of a tyrant.

So, I made a little mash-up of who I am on Decorating Day. Look familiar?

The Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C. is reminding us, in the wake of white supremacists openly offering Nazi salutes and denigrating Jews, that “the Holocaust did not begin with killing; it began with words”:

“The Museum calls on all American citizens, our religious and civic leaders, and the leadership of all branches of the government to confront racist thinking and divisive hateful speech.”

That was the museum’s response to the meeting of the National Policy Institute, a white supremacist think tank headed by Nazi poster boy Richard Spencer, who resurrected Nazi propaganda and wondered out loud if Jews “are people at all.”

That’s worth remembering the next time you hear someone call Spencer and his ilk the “Alt-Right” because Alt-Right means white supremacists.

So, when you see these people, look them in the eye and say something because Hate will almost always look away, or scurry back into the darkness.

Last weekend Carlos and I watched Sausage Party OnDemand™. It’s an R-rated cartoon about food and, well, the very idea of a hot dog f**king a hot dog bun was high-larious.

Just sayin’.

Get ready for a _____ White House, where his children will lurk in the corners, and where President ____ will be listening to his team of advisors, riddled with white nationalists, climate deniers, and those swamp dwellers he promised to take out of politics.

So a group has started a _____ investigative fund with the goal of raising $100,000 through sales of a t-shirt.

Resist. ThinkProgress will be hard at work exposing the realities of a _____ presidency, like how he will, okay, ALLEGEDLY, use his power to grease the wheels on a construction project in Argentina that will directly enrich his own family ... on his cozy relationship with both the Alt-Right and the NRA.

If you want to help, Resist. One hundred percent of the proceeds go towards resistance.

The father of a California soldier recently killed in Afghanistan says he felt disrespected and hurt by passengers who booed him and his family when they were on a flight to meet his son's remains.

Recently, Stewart Perry, his wife and daughter were on an American Airlines flight from Sacramento to Philadelphia with a transfer in Phoenix to receive the remains of his son, Sgt. John Perry, who had died in battle.

The flight to Phoenix was 45 minutes late and the crew, fearing the Gold Star family might miss their connecting flight, made an announcement for passengers to remain seated to let a "special military family" deplane first.

Sweet, right? Kind, no?

Well, not for those passengers in First-Class who booed the announcement and complained that they paid first-class fares meaning they were the special passengers.

America in The Age of _____. Me first.

SyFy has a new show called Incorporated, set in a 2074 where corporations have seemingly unlimited power—not a stretch really .... The show centers around Ben Larson, a young executive who risks everything to infiltrate the all-controlling corporate world and save the woman he loves.

More importantly than that, is that Larson is played by Sean Teale and he.is.hot.

Just sayin’.

So, cereal giant Kellogg’s has decided to cease advertizing on ultra-conservative website Breitbart, as is their right, and released this statement:

“We regularly work with our media-buying partners to ensure our ads do not appear on sites that are not aligned with our values as a company. We recently reviewed the list of sites where our ads can be placed and decided to discontinue advertising on Breitbart.com. We are working to remove our ads from that site.”

Now, the usual suspects are crying foul, with Breitbart leading the charge:

“Kellogg’s decision to blacklist one of the largest conservative media outlets in America is economic censorship of mainstream conservative political discourse. That is as un-American as it gets.”

Freedom of Speech is un-American? Choosing when and where you advertize is un-American? Oh, Breitbart, sit down.

In high-larious news, if former CIA director and retired General David Petraeus win the heart of President-elect _____ and becomes his Secretary of State, maybe _____ can throw in a pardon as well to make the job easier for Petraeus.

See, back in 2015, Petraeus pled guilty to a misdemeanor charge of mishandling classified information—the stuff he shared as pillow talk with his mistress which, apparently the GOP has no problem with—and that would require a presidential pardon for Petraeus to assume the role of secretary of State.

In addition, Petraeus might have to get his probation officer’s permission to leave the state of North Carolina to travel for his job.

Yup. Sorry about that Middle Eastern crisis, but the Secretary of Sate is still wearing his ankle bracelet and cannot leave the house.

That’s what happens when criminals get government jobs.

Oops. It looks like North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory’s just about done.

Though he stomped his feet and demanded a recount of every single vote cast in the election—because he lost by 5,000 votes—the recount seems to show that his Democratic opponent, Roy Cooper, just broke the 10,000 vote mark, meaning that McCrory has no right to demand a recount.

You’ve been flushed, asshat.

In more high-larity from the _____ transition team is news that half-wit, has-been, half-term, Mama Grizzly Bore™ might be in line to be _____’s Secretary of the VA.

The Department of Veterans Affairs is the largest government agency, with over 300,000 federal employees and a budget of $182 billion for 2017.”

It’s crazy, I know—we all know—but I love that all this lead to Josh Barro—who recently left the GOP for our side—to Tweet:

“Nothing would say "supporting veterans" like appointing a lazy dilettante to oversee their health.”

I don’t usually watch The Voice, but I have been seeing videos of Billy Gilman’s performances  online and I like what I hear.

Gilman made history back in 2000, when at age 11 he became the youngest artist to have a Top 40 hit on the country charts; his debut album went to #2 on Billboard’s Country Chart, and he followed that up with two gold albums. Then things got rocky, either because Billy’s voice changed as he went through puberty or, as he seems to see it, country music lost interest in him when rumors swirled that her might be gay:

“In recent years when I did come back to Nashville, there were rumors and whispers — is he or isn’t he? For many that know Nashville and how much I love the industry… being a gay male country artist is not the best thing. You know, if people don’t like your music, that’s one thing. But after having sold over 5 million records and having a wonderful life in the music industry, I knew something was wrong when no major label wanted to sit down and have a meeting and listen to the new stuff. I’d do a showcase in Nashville and no major label showed.”

Now Billy Gilman is out and may well be the front-runner on The Voice and, gay or straight, he deserves the shot.

Lastly, in our Tweet of the Week, comes pollster Nate Silver fact-checking ditzy blond _____ mouthpieces Kellyanne Conway’s claim that _____ won in an historic landslide:

Sit down, Kellyanne.

Kellogg's Take A Stand For Free Speech

I don't often get the chance, or the time, to watch Jon Stewart's The Daily Show--I get most of my Daily Show  from stories online--so I missed this one, but Catholic League president Bill Donohue didn't, and he is enraged. 
Sidenote: he never seems enraged about priests raping children, though.

I digress. 
Apparently on the April 16th episode of  The Daily Show there was something called a "vagina manger", a picture of a, seemingly, naked woman with her legs spread with a nativity scene ornament in between.

Donohue went berserk and began threatening boycotts and marches against any and all sponsors of The Daily Show because of their wholly inappropriate use of that picture and blibetty blah blay blue STFU.

And then Donohue was pleased to announce that Delta Airlines had caved and condemned the show for using the picture, but Donohue says he is still waiting :::tick tick tick::: for others to respond in kind.

And he hopes they don't respond like Kellogg's, who issued this statement to Donohue and the Catholic League's demands they pull their ads from The Daily Show:

“We understand that our customers come from a variety of backgrounds, experiences, lifestyles, and cultures and we respect their individual decisions to choose the television programs that they deem acceptable for themselves and their families. Consumers speak most loudly when they vote with their remote control and change the channel or turn off the TV if a program does not fit their personal criteria.”

Suh-nap.

Donohue writes that "Kellogg’s is telling Christians to shove it" when, in fact, they are simply saying, if you don't like something you see on TV, change the effing channel, and let the people who find The Daily Show humorous continue to watch it....as we are allowed to do.

If you wish to thank Kellogg's for standing up to Bill Donohue's Catholic League--and again, where's his outrage over priests raping boys--you can do so by:

Calling their Corporate and Media Affairs office at (269) 961-3799

Write to the President and CEO, 

John Bryant 

One Kellogg Square 

Battle Creek, MI 49012. 

E-mail Natalie Fairbanks:Natalie.Fairbanks@kellogg.com

Or, even better, head on out to your local grocery and buy a big box of cereal.

source

Really.......with Seth

Seth really sums up this whole Michael Phelps and Kellogg's meshugas quite nicely.