Bobservations

Carlos and I were out and about Saturday in Smallville, and as we settled in for a hot coffee at Books on Broad, he said we needed to get home because he was doing a translation at DSS Monday and needed to get his papers ready.

At home, I asked if he minded while I used the computer for a hot minute before he started working on his papers; he said, ‘No problem.’

When I finished. I went back out to the kitchen and told him I was done, and that the computer was his. He said he was going to do something in the kitchen, and I said I was making a pizza for dinner and he could go work on his papers. He gave me a funny look, and said he was going to work on his papers in the kitchen because he needed to be at DSS early on Monday.

I asked why he was working on the papers in the kitchen and he said because we were having them with chicken and rice on Monday.

Then it hit me: Peppers. He needed to work on his peppers to make a sauce for Monday’s dinner because he’d be gone for a while that day.

Papers.Peppers.

Nearly twenty years in, and I’m still Lucy to his Ricky.

PGA Tour golfer Scott Piercy thought it would be homophobi-highlarious to share a meme about Pete Buttigieg’s decision to drop out of the race that read:

“Peter Pulls Out Early From Behind.”

The meme featured Pepe the Frog, the cartoon character co-opted as an icon by the alt-right, reading a news script for “QNN” about Buttigieg.

Even funnier is that as soon as people got wind of what a prick Scott Piercy is, he apologized for being a homophobic asshat. Um, too late, hon; at least three sponsors—Acushnet, Titleist and Scandinavian fashion brand J.Lindeberg—have ended their promotional relationships with Piercy.

Once again, in case you don’t get it: hate doesn’t pay.

Now, to a professional athlete who isn’t a bigot … NBA star Dwyane Wade, who has become an outspoken advocate for LGBTQ rights thanks to his transgender daughter Zaya, celebrated on Instagram as Zaya made her red carpet debut for  the Better Brothers Los Angeles 2020 Truth Awards, writing:

“Everyone allow her to re-introduce herself her name is Zaya Wade! Last night was Zaya’s first red carpet and we couldn’t have been prouder of how she handled the questions that were asked of her. She has emerged as one of the young faces and voices for the LGBTQ+ community.”

That’s how it’s done. Maybe Dwyane Wade could give Scott Piercy lessons??

Meanwhile, back to haters who are also complete morons ... Y’all know that Evangelical Christians, AKA Faux-Christians, have long blamed the LGBTQ+ community for natural disasters and diseases of all kinds so this comes as no surprise.

Steven Andrew, “pastor” with the USA Christian Church, an internet-based rightwingnut congregation, dubbed March “Repent of LGBT Sin Month,” which he says is necessary to protect “the USA from diseases, such as the Coronavirus” which you get because of The Gays:

“God’s love shows it is urgent to repent because the Bible teaches homosexuals lose their souls and God destroys LGBT societies. Obeying God protects the USA from diseases, such as the coronavirus.”

And he’s not the only Faux-Christian loon to link coronavirus to LGBTQ+ people. Florida “minister” Rick Wiles, founder of the media outlet TruNews, called the virus a “plague” sent by God to wipe out LGBTQ+ people and other “sinners.” Pastor E.W. Jackson warned listeners about the “homovirus” on his radio show.

Funny, because it seems like it’s a lot of elderly, gay and straight, people are most prone to the virus, so once again, your Faux-Christian leaders are lying.

This makes me sick … no, in enrages me … The remains of two stunning white giraffes that lived at a Kenyan wildlife sanctuary were found in a skeletal state, rangers at the Ishaqbini Hirola Conservancy , killed by poachers.

Just one white giraffe, a bull, remains.

Giraffes have lost 40% of their population in just 30 years from poaching and wildlife trafficking. Murdering …for sport.

While the Kenya Wildlife Service said those white giraffes were the only three left in the world, another known white giraffe was spotted in Tarangire National Park, in Tanzania, in January 2016.

It wasn't immediately known what happened to that animal.

Hopefully no one decided to just shoot it for fun.

Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein has been sentenced to 23 years in prison on sexual assault and rape charges. Weinstein seemed stunned that a powerful rich rapist and sexual predator like himself would go to jail:

“I am totally confused. I think men are confused about all of this…this feeling of thousands of men and women who are losing due process, I’m worried about this country. This is not the right atmosphere in the United States of America.”

No, Harvey, it’s the perfect atmosphere; it’s telling men they cannot rape women, expose themselves to women, demand sex from women, sexually harass women, demean women, just cuz they feel like it.

Good luck in prison, bitch.

Weinstein still faces more serious charges in Los Angeles.

This is fitness model Joshua Lee Cummings,  a tall, flexible drink of water. He likes to ride a bike and roller-skate and jump a rope and be on, or, actually, in, TV.

He likes to skinny-dip and gang upside down.

I like him no matter what he does. Uh huh.

Bobservations

The other day, for some reason, Carlos and I were discussing the fact that most straight men don’t give other straight men compliments for fear of looking ‘gay.’ And out of the blue, he says:

“As I always say, the hardest thing about a man wearing a kilt is that it exposes a man to his insecurities.”

“As you always say?”

“Yes, that’s what I always say.”

“Seriously? We’re nineteen years into this thing and I have never heard that before.”

“Well, I don’t say it to you.”

And then he sashays from the room singing …

♫ ♪ “You don’t know me …" ♪ ♫

There are times when that man is the funniest person ever!

A man was hunting a rhinoceros in Kruger National Park, South Africa last week when he was trampled by the elephant, and his remains were devoured by a pride of lions.

Four other hunters were arrested, and they told the man’s family what happened. The relatives then called park officials, who started a search to recover his remains. A human skull and a pair of pants were recovered.

Karma is a bitch and this time she got it right.

Okay, I’m a cynic … bite me … but this story chaps my hide.

It seems that Taylor Swift has donated $113,000 to the Tennessee Equality Project, a group that tries to stop state lawmakers from passing a series of anti-LGBTQ legislation.

Here’s the cynical part …Tennessee has been anti-LGBTQ forever and Swifty never ponied up cash, but suddenly, on the heels of Beyoncé getting an award from GLAAD suddenly Tay-Tay is an ally?

I think she wants a trophy and she can bite me.

Kirstjen Nielsen resigned this week and folks are wondering what she’ll do next. I suggested we cage her and leave her at the border so she can get an exact idea of how vile a human being she is.

Colorado Senator Vicki Marble gave an extraordinary speech outlining why she couldn't vote in favor of an 'Equal Pay Day' bill—a resolution urging government agencies to help close the pay gap for Colorado's women and minorities—saying she was concerned it was 'so focused against a white man':

"I just can't take part in something that is so focused against a white man because frankly I feel white men have done a lot for this country and this legislature. [And] not all white men make the same as every white man in a job."

Senator Marble explained that she was a single mother and had lived on "hot dogs and macaroni cheese" - but she doesn't feel cheated that she was paid less than men, er, white men, I’m guessing.

Siddown, you’re blocking the movement.

Lori Loughlin and her husband Mossimo Giannulli were indicted this week for participating in the college admissions scam and were then hit with a new charge … conspiracy to commit money laundering, prosecutors said.

The move comes a day after the feds announced that 13 other parents arrested in the scandal—including actress Felicity Huffman—had agreed to take plea deals.

Of note is that under her plea deal Huffman gets a far lighter sentence—probation only, no jail time—than others who committed the same offense.

Yeah, that really shows that not only can money and privilege buy your way into college, it can also buy your way out of jail.

Well, maybe except for Loughlin. She may be going from Full House to Big House.

Texas Rangers players Joey Gallo and Nomar Mazara introduced a new celebration handshake to Major League Baseball on Sunday, after Gallo sent both players in on a home run.

No more High Five, now it’s the Low Grab and Tug? Maybe I should be playing baseball?

James Yates is a fitness model and an author of A Scrapbook of Conditioning Workouts, and clearly his workouts work.

He fills out briefs and wee swimsuits rather nicely.

He looks good wet.

He travels light.

He likes to skateboard, and I like to watch him skateboard.

Just sayin’.

If you aren’t following playwright, novelist, screenwriter and essayist Paul Rudnick on Twitter, if only for his captioning of photos of the _____ Klan and its minions, why aren’t you?

They’re high-larious.

Bobservations

Earlier this year, the neighbor behind us began clearing away all the overgrown shrubs and vines between our two yards. As he did so, we learned that out fence was in really bad shape and so we had it removed and are set to replace it later this month.

In the meanwhile, Carlos and the neighbor have become very chummy, chatting in the backyard, talking about this and that.

We had a bad storm come through about a week ago and a dead tree fell across our driveway. The neighbor has a chainsaw and offered to come over and cut the tree up for us—it was too big to simply move. Then he offered to haul away the pieces of the tree for us.

Very nice. But, as I am apt to do, I began calling the neighbor Carlos’ new boyfriend.

“Your boyfriend is outside.”

“Your boyfriend is working in his shed.”

Your boyfriend is mowing his yard.”

This week the neighbor was using a small tractor to grade his property for better water drainage and I said to Carlos:

“Your boyfriend is outside on a tractor. Maybe if you’re nice he’ll let you take a ride.”

“I don’t want to ride on a tractor.”

I smiled:

“I didn’t say anything about riding his 'tractor'.”

I’m fun.,

I am no fan of churches, but this one made me smile … the Christ Church Cathedral in Indianapolis is sending quite the message about our current immigration crisis by putting up a display on their lawn that has statues of Mary, Joseph and Jesus in a cage.

The church posted to its Twitter page:

“On our lawn tonight we placed The Holy Family … in #ICE detention.”

The church also posted two signs on their lawn; one says #EveryFamilyIsHoly and the other says the same thing in #CadaFamiliaEsSagrada.

Church officials suggest the display might stay up as long as families continue to be detained.

As I said, not a fan of churches, but this one is stepping up for children and immigrants, something big religious leaders—like Graham, Robertson and Osteen—have failed to do.

After _____ called journalists and media the “enemy of the people”, several people were shot at the Capital Gazette offices last week and _____ said nothing about it.

When Annapolis Mayor Gavin Buckley asked _____ to lower American flags at the White House in honor those murdered, ____ said ‘No.’ Buckley said:

“Obviously, I’m disappointed, you know? … Is there a cutoff for tragedy? This was an attack on the press. It was an attack on freedom of speech. It’s just as important as any other tragedy.”

And if you think it’s just ____ ignoring gun shootings in this country at the urging of the NRA, please note that he did order flags lowered for previous mass shootings, such as the shootings at Santa Fe High School and at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland.

I guess he truly doesn’t feel journalists matter.

PS After mounting pressure the Fat Bastard did lower the flags, but kept up his "enemy of the people" mantra.

Angela Ponce, a trans woman was crowned as Miss Universe in Spain yesterday and will represent that country in the upcoming Miss Universe pageant at the end of the year.

The beauty pageant lifted the ban on trans women competing back in 2012 after urging from GLAAD.

Brava, Angela, brava!

Now, onto SCOTUS and the replacement for traitor Anthony Kennedy … _____ told his told advisers he is looking for three qualities in Kennedy’s replacement:

First: _____ wants his nominee not to be “weak,” and have independent judgment and the courage to buck “the political and social fashions of the day”.

Second: ______ wants a nominee who will “interpret the Constitution the way the framers meant it to be” even though no one knows how to do that given that the document is over two-hundred years old and the world has changed since then … unless _____ wants to go back to slavery, and women as second-class citizens.

Third: the nominee must have a superlative résumé; the nominee should come from an Ivy League university like Harvard or Yale; _____ wants the nominee to submit a portfolio of his or her writing, though _____ has said he won’t read it, he just wants to know it exists.

Seriously. The man cannot read.

Roseanne Barr, who was fired from her show for being a racist tool, only to see the show be rebooted as The Conners without her participation, either creatively or financially, now claims she’s fielded several offers for a new TV show.

Racist liar say what?

Yesterday was America’s birthday and for the first time in Gallup’s 18-year history asking Americans how proud they are to be Americans, fewer than a majority say they are “extremely proud.”

Wonder what caused that?

Oh. Yeah.

Pictures of Tess Thompson Talley of Kentucky showing her posing … posing … with the dead body of a “rare” black giraffe she murdered for sport have sparked outrage. The pictures emerged after they were posted on Twitter by the South Africa-based AfricLand Post website. Accompanying the post were the words:

“White American savage who is partly a Neanderthal comes to Africa and shoot down a very rare black giraffe courtesy of South Africa stupidity. Her name is Tess Thompson Talley. Please share”.

The photos were from a hunting trip Thompson Talley took in June 2017 and she proudly declared on Facebook:

“Prayers for my once in a lifetime dream hunt came true today! Spotted this rare black giraffe bull and stalked him for quite a while. I knew it was the one. He was over 18 years old, 4,000 lbs and was blessed to be able to get 2,000 lbs of meat from him.”

Pig. Interestingly enough, when the story broke and people began badgering Tess for being a vile human being, she actually defended her decision:

“The giraffe I hunted was the South African sub-species of giraffe. The numbers of this sub-species is actually increasing due, in part, to hunters and conservation efforts paid for in large part by big game hunting. The breed is not rare in any way other than it was very old. Giraffes get darker with age.”

Bitch, you called it rare in your bragging Facebook post.

Again, Pig, bitch vile human being. Spread her shame.

Oops. The _____ Foundation is being sued by New York’s attorney general, Barbara Underwood, for using the charity to enrich and benefit the ______ Klan.

This week lawyers for the _____ Foundation, which is run by _____ and his oldest children, Junior, the Dumb One and the Feckless C*nt requested in court that the execution of justice be rescheduled to accommodate the midterm elections. 

And the judge int the case, Judge Scarpulla actually laughed in response, did not change the trial date, and hinted that she is likely to require the President to testify.

Karma, baby, karma.

On a recent stiflingly hot afternoon, sitting beneath a ceiling fan trying to keep cool, I opted to watch Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, a classic story mixed with the walking dead. It was zombies only walk really slowly so how bad can they be, right?

But the film did feature some hot mens … even on a scorcher of a day, a hot man is a welcome treat … from the top … Douglas Booth, who portrayed the beautiful Mr. Bingley … to Sam Riley, the brooding Darcy …to Jack Huston, the evil zombie George Wickham.

Hot men on a hot day. All hot. All the time.