Showing posts with label Colin Farrell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Colin Farrell. Show all posts

Saturday, May 13, 2017

It's Snarkurday!

I have always found Colin Farrell hot ... even dirty, drunk, sloppy, bordering on Johnny Depp-like messiness, I’ve always found him hot.

Well, Colin was on Ellen this week and played a game called Celebrity Confessions which involves the guest confessing to something in exchange for a $10,000 donation to the charity of their choice.

So, Colin talked about the time he gave his pubes a bad haircut. See, he was about to shoot a sex scene for Tigerland and he asked director Joel Schumacher for pubic hair removal approval ... is that a thing in Hollywood? 

Colin wanted to trim it ... Joel said “Do it.” ... Colin grabbed a beard trimmer from makeup-and-hair and went to town; and then went through town and out of town and all around town.

Suddenly his big bush was a landing strip and, well, his pubic hair did not make their film debut after all.

Note to Colin: Um, I’m pretty handy with a pair of clippers so the next time you’d like to manscape down there, gimme a call. I’d be happy to lend a hand or ... since I’ve seen that video ... two.

Just sayin’.
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This makes my skin crawl, but I’ve got a duty to snark so ... Cindy Rueda, former personal chef to Puff-Daddy-P-Diddy-Sean-Combs-Whatever, has filed a sexual harassment suit saying she was exposed to improper sexual activity and commentary while working in the Diddy manse.

In the complaint, Rueda ALLEGES that she was “regularly summoned by Mr. Combs to prepare and serve entrees and appetizers to him and his guests while Mr. Combs and/or his guests were engaged in or immediately following sexual activity.”

Ooh, Roman Orgy-style? And, Rueda ALLEGES, once when Combs asked her to prepare a “post-coital meal” he asked if she was attracted to his naked body.

I believe she may have hurled on Little Diddy. I would have.

Another time “a male house guest of Combs approached plaintiff in the nude to ask her to look at and admire his genitals after he had engaged in sexual activity with another house guest.”

Perhaps she wasn’t just serving crabs, but checking for them as well?

Rueda—who began working for Diddy but never diddling Diddy in 2015—is also claiming that she was required to work from 9AM until 2:30AM for just $150 a day, and that she traveled with Diddy for no extra pay.

And, she ALLEGES, that a year later when she complained about the long hours, the low pay, and the orgies and meals, she was fired ALLEGEDLY for  stealing a watch she says was given to her by the housekeeper, who found it in the trash.

What? Here’s the deal, girl: if you’re working 17 hours a day and getting just $150, you quit. If you’re working for a man who wants to serve him and his sex-guests an after orgy meal, you quit. If Sean Combs says, “How do you like my junk?” you throw up and then you quit.

You don’t stay for over a year and then bitch when you get canned.

Okurrrrrrrr?
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On last week’s RuPaul’s Drag Race, the queens were challenged to film a parody of Beverly Hills, 90210 called Beverly Hills, 9021-HO. The scenes were directed and judged by former 90210 stars Tori “Can’t pay my bills” Spelling and Jennie “Where is my career?” Garth.

And during the judging Tori and Jennie proved they are still bitchy mean girls by throwing shade at their 90210 co-star, Tiffani “There used to be an Amber there” Thiessen.

See, while critiquing Aja’s performance—a parody of Tiffani’s character Valerie Malone—Jennie refused to say Tiffani’s name, and Tori replied by calling Tiffani “That which we don’t speak of.

And here’s why: the fued goes back to 1994 when Tiffani joined the cast in 1994. Things were cold in the beginning, but then warmed up a little and she became good friends with Jennie.  But, when Tori cheated on her first husband, Charlie, with her second husband-to-be, Dean, and then divorced Charlie, Tiffani’s friendship with the Mean Girls fell apart because Tiffani’s best friend was Charlie’s roommate.

And so, apparently, a decade later Tori and Jennie are still Bitter Bettys about it.

Gosh maybe Ryan Murphy can make this into a season of Feud ... or, if not a whole season, at least a very disturbing PSA.

Anyway, as feuds go, I tend to pick a side and I’ll stand with Tiffani because Tiffani has a job on Food Network and so, unlike Tori, she can pay her bills, and unlike Jennie, she’s working. But mainly I fall on Team Tiff because she worked for years on White Collar and got to stand within inches of Matt Bomer and that means we will always be on the same team!
The list of things Justin Bieber needs to have while he’s on tour—it’s called a ‘rider’—have been exposed by music journalist Arjun S. Ravi, and, well, Bieber's a bigger douche than I originally thought ...

Ravi Tweeted what he claims is Bieber’s rider for his Purpose World Tour in Mumbai this week and it is something. Here now, is what Justin Bieber demands for himself and his entourage of 120 while he’s in India for one single show:
A helicopter to take him from his hotel to the concert venue.
A dressing room draped entirely in white curtains.
A lot of food, like bags of Swedish Fish and sugary cereal.
Ten luxury cars and two buses for his entourage, in addition to a Rolls Royce solely for himself.
Two five-star hotels, with three full floors and a private elevator reserved only for him in one of the hotels.
He will be shipping in his own ping pong table, sofa set, washing machine, and fridge.
He demands purple carnations, 100 hangers, a massage table and a female massage therapist in his room.
He demands that the five-star hotel chefs prepare him 5 special meals a day, each of which is renamed after his songs ...
Never Say Never to Mac’n’Cheese? What Do You Mean There’s No Pie? Love Yourself Like I Love Cheese Pizza?
He also wants a “yoga casket” containing essential oils, books on chakras and yoga asanas.
Oh, and last but assuredly not least, no lilies! I guess he’s a’scurred a’lilies.

Seriously, he out-divas JLo and Mimi and they've been around for half a century.
So Suicide Squad. Out and gone in a relative flash, but now comes a tale of Jared Leto’s extreme method acting. 

It seems that his Suicide Squad co-star Ike Barinholtz was the recipient of Jared Leto Acting 101.

During an interview with Howard Stern, Ike talked about playing a prison guard in the film and shared a scene with Jared in which Let’s Joker offers to help Ike’s character out with some gambling debts.

Jared played the scene real close to Ike and even planted an unplanned kiss on him, saying and doing several things that were never in the script:
“I do this scene with Jared Leto and he’s supposed to be intimidating me. He comes in ... and he starts squeezing my tits. He’s like [panting and moaning] ‘You’re a big guy’. This is while we’re filming. Then he fucking grabs me and kisses me. On the mouth, full kisses me. I thought, OK, I’m just gonna go with it. But then he’s like, [panting and moaning again] ‘Did someone piss their pants?’ I’m like, now I did because you said I did!”
Man, first I miss out on manscaping Colin Farrell's nether regions and now I lose out on a steamy Leto kiss?

I need to get to Hollywood; I’ve work to do.

Oh, and I'm a whore.
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Beyoncé’s representative is not happy with y’all. In case you’ve forgotten, Beyoncé is still pregnant with her twins, and spends her days posting pictures to Instagram lest the Beyhive come for her.

But, in one photo—up there—it looks as though her lips have been Jolie’d. And as people talked about the visits to the Lip Doctor, Beyoncé’s publicist, Yvette Noel-Schure, lost her damned mind and told anyone and everyone who thinks Beyoncé’s lips look fake to f**k off:
“What do you know about the effects of pregnancy on a woman’s entire body? Please tell me. Did you know that in addition to weight gain there is often a dramatic change in the blood flow in the system and increased fluid causing swelling? Do you know that often women’s gums get swollen? Do you know that it sometimes affects our speech, our ability to chew intently and a host of other things? But the sacrifice to our faces, our feet and our entire bodies is something we welcome because we bring beautiful humans into the world who will one day combat your hate and negativity. I stood silent during Beyoncé’s first pregnancy when you thought it was okay to bully her like the cowards you are, when you accused her of never being pregnant, but I simply cannot this time. You are the saddest individuals and picking on a pregnant lady is tantamount to possessing the coldest, despicable heart. You need to find something else to do with your time and maybe stop by a store that has happiness on sale because you need to buy some.”
Sorry, Yvette. Maybe we didn’t know that, like most women, Beyoncé suffers a little baby weight gain ... in.her.lips.
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Rumors have swirling ever since Chris Rock revealed in a comedy routine that he’d cheated on his ex-wife with three different women, including a big star. And now foils are saying the big star is Scandal’s Kerry Washington.

A source—and it could be Lohan, still trying to get Mean girls: The Musical on Broadway ... in a high school gym, on Broadway—says:
“He was cheating on his wife with Kerry when they were filming [‘I Think I Love My Wife’] about him, ironically, having fantasies of cheating on his wife. That went on for a while, for like six months, and she found out. There’s no gray area.”
Rumors about the Chris-Kerry Tryst have been around since 2007, when Rock was married and Washington was engaged to actor David Moscow who, when asked about the ALLEGED affair, uttered, “No comment.”

Still, some say it was a joke because Chris also said he cheated with a member of Destiny’s Child, but not Beyoncé.

Hmmm, I wonder what Beyoncé’s lips looked like then?
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So, Conrad Hilton, Paris Hilton’s little brother; you thought she was a self-entitled spoiled rich kid, well, she’s got nothing on her baby brother.

Conrad used to date Hunter Salomon, the daughter of actress E.G. Daily—“Dottie” in Pee-Wee Herman’s Big Adventure—and Paris Hilton porn tape co-star Rick Salomon.

This week Conrad was arrested for ALLEGEDLY trying to break into her house—again—last Saturday morning; and, in addition to trying to break into the home, he’s also ALLEGEDLY charged with grand theft auto for stealing E.G.’s ex-husband, and Hunter’s dad, Rick Salomon’s, Bentley from HIS house before the break-in.

Hunter filed a restraining order when they broke up in May of 2015, but Conrad violated it almost at once; this, in fact, is the second time he’s broken into her home, and now E.G. is talking about Conrad’s scary behavior towards her family that has been going on for years. She’s even talked to his parents, Rick and Kathy Hilton, and tried to cut Conrad a break, if he’d just stay away, but, you know, rich, white, drug addicted stalkers are hard to keep at bay.

Especially when they keep getting arrested and yet their bail is set at a measly—by Hilton standards—$60,000.

Oh, and lest we forget what a vile human being Connie Hilton is, he exploded on police who showed up to arrest him for breaking-and-entering in a spree of homophobic slurs, racial epithets and rape accusations, in addition to making even Reese Witherspoon cringe at the ‘Don’t you know who I am?’ of it all:
“I’m Conrad motherf***ing Hilton, don’t you forget it.”
How can we forget you Connie when you keep getting arrested. We’d love to forget you if only your punishment would fit your crimes.
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Now, in sweet news, longtime unmarried lovebirds Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn both got their stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame; and they are side-by-side. And they gushed about one another in their acceptance speeches:
“Goldie, to you, I owe my wonderful life. Simply put, Goldie, I cherish you. All of the stars in the sky or on the boulevard don’t hold a candle to that.”
Hawn and Russell never tied the knot, and yet they’ve stayed together for 33-years. Russell, accepting his star, joked that it “will be subjected to the constant harshness of the blazing California sun” and “stray dogs of both the canine and human variety — perhaps in need of a little relief.” He said it will “trod upon by the soles of shoes caked with earth from all corners of the world.” And the added:
“There’s no one else I’d rather be next to for all of that than Goldie Hawn.”
Goldie, for her part, began by asking a question:
“Can we just get married? We’ve never had a celebration like this before, but I’m not going to pop the question.”
Sweet. After the sludge above it’s nice to end with sweet, eh?

Friday, June 12, 2015

I Didn't Say It ...

Colin Farrell, on the passage of marriage equality in Ireland:

“It was really funny because one of the arguments when the vote went through was that the church came out and said, ‘You know, this was a dark day for Ireland,’ and all you could see was literally rainbows everywhere, posters of rainbows, T-shirts of rainbows, men and women hugging, men and men hugging, women and women hugging, and yet cut to, ‘This is a dark day in the history of [Ireland]'...A dark day in the history of a country is internal civil conflict and war and bloodshed…It was a great day.”

As I've said: hot, smart, compassionate, LGBT-ally ... and hot.
Franklin Graham, son of the also anti-gay Billy Graham, on Facebook calling for a Christian boycott of Wells Fargo over the banks’ inclusion of a Lesbian couple in an ad:

“Have you ever asked yourself – how can we fight the tide of moral decay that is being crammed down our throats by big business, the media, and the gay & lesbian community? Every day it is something else! ... Wells Fargo bank is using a same-sex couple in their advertising. And there are more. But it has dawned on me that we don’t have to do business with them. At the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, we are moving our accounts from Wells Fargo to another bank. ...This is one way we as Christians can speak out—we have the power of choice. Let’s just stop doing business with those who promote sin and stand against Almighty God’s laws and His standards. Maybe if enough of us do this, it will get their attention. Share this if you agree.”

Look, I’m all for boycotting businesses that are bigoted and intolerant and exclusive, but I gotta ping on my Hypocrisy Meter because Franklin likes to call LGBT boycotts of homophobic businesses a form of Gay Fascism and bullying. But if you drape your boycott in Christianity, it’s just fine and dandy, as long as the reason you’re boycotting is because of The Gays.
PS: Graham switched to BB&T, a bank that just happens to be the sponsor of this year's Miami Beach Gay pride Parade.
How does that foot in your mouth taste, Franklin?
Greg Gianforte, a Montana multi-millionaire planning a gubernatorial run in 2016, on retirement:

“There’s nothing in the Bible that talks about retirement. And yet it’s been an accepted concept in our culture today. Nowhere does it say, ‘Well, he was a good and faithful servant, so he went to the beach.’ It doesn’t say that anywhere. ... The example I think of is Noah. How old was Noah when he built the ark? 600. He wasn’t like, cashing Social Security checks, he wasn’t hanging out, he was working. So, I think we have an obligation to work. The role we have in work may change over time, but the concept of retirement is not biblical.”

Wait. What? Does this mean I gotta build an ark when I’m 600 years old?
Or does it mean Greg Gianforte is a delusional idiot who should not now, or ever, hold any kind of public office in this country.
Nick Jansen, writing for Canberra's City News, on what they’ll do if marriage equality comes to Australia:


"My wife and I just celebrated our 10-year anniversary. But later this year, we may be getting a divorce. The decision to divorce is not one we’ve taken lightly. And certainly, it’s not one that many will readily understand. And that’s because it’s not a traditional divorce. Our view is that marriage is a fundamental order of creation. Part of God’s human history. Marriage is the union of a man and a woman before a community in the sight of God. And marriage of any couple is important to God regardless of whether that couple recognises [sic] God’s involvement or authority in it."


Well, Nick, I guess you take marriage so lightly, and think so little of your own commitment, that the mere idea that a same-sex couple could share that same pledge sends you to divorce court. 

Jansen also says that he and his soon-to-be ex-wife will continue to live together … in sin.
Hmm, I wonder how their God will feel about that?

Hypocrites.
Franklin Graham, in a spectacular word salad, trying to explain his hypocrisy:

"It is true that a local BB&T branch in the Miami area hosted a fundraiser for a program called Legacy Couples, which recognizes same-sex couples who have been in committed relationships for 10 years or more, but the bank did not promote this program through a national advertising campaign (or we would still be looking for another bank). I think there is a difference between being friendly and being a public advocate. By staying at Wells Fargo, we would not only be associating with the promotion of a lifestyle we believe to be wrong, we also would actually be helping to pay for the advertisements by virtue of banking with them — because a bank has no money to advertise with other than the money its customers place in its trust and the interest earned on that money. We simply chose not to continue doing business with a bank that is promoting something that violates our conscience and beliefs."

So, wait, as long as the business doesn’t ruin a national ad, they can support all the gay causes they like and Frank’s okay with that?
Because, I don’t see a huge difference between Well Fargo airing an ad featuring a same-sex couple, and BB&T supporting a Pride event.
It’s support of the LGBT community, and Franklin’s just trying to justify his ignorance and his inability to vet his new bank—and he was hoping for the ‘B’ in BB&T to stand for Bigot—properly, and make sure they were as intolerant and narrow-minded and hate-filled and so not Christ-like as himself.

Thursday, May 07, 2015

Random Musings

So, anti-abortion activist Randall Terry is claiming that he has been receiving death threats from someone in a Texas town not far from the Geller shootings:

"Coincidence? God knows."

And so now, because it’s the new ‘It’ thing to do, Terry has started a GoFundMe to raise $200,000 to protect himself and his family from these Muslims.

Seriously? A money beg?

Sidenote: I was flipped off the other day by a hillbilly in a pickup, so I’ve started my own GoFundMe page to help raise some money for therapy to get over it; and by ‘therapy,’ I mean tequila so I only need about thirty bucks … Help me!
This is rich …

There’s an outbreak of Chlamydia at a high school in the Crane Independent School District in Texas that has forced administrators to send a warning notes home to parents. As of now, there are twenty reported cases of the STD, meaning that 1 in 15 students at the school is infected.

Talk about an STD Petri dish, but I digress …

What’s really rich about this story is that the high school offers a three-day sexual education course once a year that emphasizes abstinence but that Crane ISD "does not offer a curriculum in human sexuality.

So they don’t tell kids how to protect themselves should they have sex, they just tell them not to have sex, and then keep their STD doctors on speed dial when the Chlamydia Outbreak occurs.
Well, this week, after returning from Miami, we took Carlos’ car in to have that pesky engine light checked and it turned out that it was a bad gas cap that affected the sensors in the gas tank and flicked on the light. But then my car needed some servicing, too, after having 1500 miles put on her in a week, and so she went in for some new rotors and pads — whatever that means — and that was another added expense.

Then there was MaxGoldberg.

One night, while getting ready to go to sleep, Max came onto the bed and sat by my head. He kept twisted his head and licking the inside of his mouth — if you’ve ever seen Grimm and seen a hexenbiest change, you know how Max looked.

Well, I thought nothing about it; food caught in his teeth maybe, but the next morning, after his breakfast, he was still doing it, and then drooling a lot, and then drooling blood. Off the vet — funny side note: MaxGoldberg in the cat carrier, howling so loudly that he sounded like a police siren — and it was determined that one of Max’s fangs had bent and every time he closed his mouth it was gutting his tongue and gums; it was also determined that the other fang was loose and might do the same damage.

Now, MaxGoldberg is fang-less; healing nicely, but fang-less.

Other Sidenote: how lucky am I to have Carlos because the vet called with the diagnosis and the cost of tooth extraction and sedation and blahblahblah and quoted a price well over $700! Carlos shrieked, and said he wouldn’t pay that and in an instant the price suddenly dropped to a hair over $400.

I would have never thought to bargain; I would have forked over my credit card and then maybe thought about not eating for a month to pay that bill.

Four-hundred is still a lot of money, but Max is one of our babies and well worth it.
So, I love me some BBC America, and this week I tuned into Ripper Street, sort of a police procedural that takes place in Whitechapel, in London, around the time of Jack Attacks.

Now, the show isn’t about The Ripper, just about that area, but it does star a couple of hotties: Matthew Macfadyen as Detective Inspector Edmund Reid, and Adam Rothenberg as Captain Homer Jackson, a flamboyantly dressing American doctor.

So far one episode in, I’m liking the show and, as always, the Man Candy.
Another MaxGoldberg Sidenote:

I was still at work when Carlos picked Max up that night, but I called home to see how he was doing. No answer. I figured they weren’t home yet, so I waited and called another time …

Well, actually, I called nine times in forty-five minutes.

Carlos wondered if I would call the house that mush if it was him coming home from the hospital.

I wondered about that, too …
I’m just gonna say it: People are stupid.

I mean, how else do you explain that when the story broke that an aide to New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was pleading guilty in Bridge Gate that all hell would break loose because of the headline:

“Christie Ally Expected To Plead Guilty”

Twitter exploded with the news that Kirstie Alley was going to jail.

Seriously; people are dumb.
Well, I kinda already knew this …

Irish men have just been voted the Sexiest Men In The World according to MissTravel.com, a US-based travel and dating website.

In second place, but trailing by over 1,000 votes were Australians, followed by Pakistani men, American men and English men.

I could ‘a told y’all that … case in point:

First we had Marco Rubio announcing his run at the White House with an ode to Game of Thrones and now Scott Walker is channeling a little Star Wars — dubbing himself Scottwalker — as he readies for his ill-fated campaign.

Seriously? Grown-assed men, running for the highest office in the land, channeling TV shows as their jump-off point?

Grow the eff up already.
Carlos and I are being sued. Oy! And, well, it seriously looks like we’re going to lose because the facts in the case are irrefutable: we’re homosexuals.

See, an Omaha woman, sixty-six-year-old Sylvia Driskell, who says she is an ambassador for God and the Baby Jeebus, is suing all homosexuals and is asking a federal judge to decide whether homosexuality is a sin.

Driskell contends “that homosexuality is a sin and that they [The Homosexuals] know it is a sin” because “why else would they have been hiding in the closet(?)”

Oh lordy, someone needs to lay hands on this woman and it looks like it is that federal judge, John Gerrad, because he has refused to allow Sylvia to be a legal spokestool for God and his son, Jesus Christ.

Whoosh! Time to put that cash back in the bank accounts!