I Didn't Say It ...

Mark Carney, newly elected Liberal Prime Minister of Canada:

“As I’ve been warned, America wants our land, our resources, our water, our country. But these are not idle threats. [The Felon] is trying to break us so that America can own us. That will never, that will never ever happen [but] we are once again at one of those hinge moments of history. Our old relationship with the United States, a relationship based on steadily increasing integration, is over. The system of open global trade anchored by the United States, a system that Canada has relied on since the Second World War, a system that, while not perfect, has helped deliver prosperity for a country for decades, is over. But it’s also our new reality. We are over the shock of the American betrayal, but we should never forget the lessons. We have to look out for ourselves and above all we have to take care of each other … We will chart a new path forward because this is Canada and we decide what happens here … we can give ourselves far more than the Americans can ever take away. But even given that, I want to be clear, the coming days and months will be challenging, and they will call for some sacrifices. But we will share those sacrifices by supporting our workers and our businesses … We do things because they’re right, not because they’re easy and we see kindness as a virtue, not as a weakness. Most importantly, we know that our strength lies in our resolve to work together as a country … We are supporting our friends and neighbors in the crosshairs of [The Felon] through a crisis that we did not create … We will fight back with everything we have to get the best deal for Canada. We will protect our workers and businesses, and above all, we will build an independent future for our great country. A future that makes the greatest country on earth even better. Together, we will build a Canada worthy of our values. We will build Canada strong, Canada free, Canada forever. Vive la Canada.”

Nice to hear a leader talk of unity and kindness and progress.

We could have had that here, too …

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Cory Booker, New Jersey Democrat Senator, :

“Do you think we got the right to vote for women because a bunch on men on the House floor got together and said, ‘On the count of three, women get the right to vote.’ That’s not how it happened. Change doesn’t come from Washington; change comes to Washington.”

Change comes from the streets and the parks and the plazas where Americans gather to protest an unhinged president and his sycophants planting their lips to his ass.

Resist.

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Andrew Napolitano, a former judge and judicial analyst for the far-right Newsmax network, condemns The Felon’s arrest of Judge Hannah Dugan for allegedly impeding ICE's arrest of an undocumented migrant:

"An administrative warrant is not an arrest warrant. No judge would recognize an administrative warrant. So [Dugan]'s on the bench, there's a commotion in the hallway involving ... the defendant who's in front of her, for some sort of a low-level assault and battery. She goes out to see what the commotion is and they say, 'We're here to arrest this guy' and she basically says 'Well you're not going to interrupt with my proceeding. We don't permit arrests in the courtroom. You can wait in the hallway or you can wait for him outside. Let me see your arrest warrant.' 'We don't have one.' They have this administrative warrant, which is basically one ICE agent authorizing another ICE agent to detain someone. So I don't think there's a crime here. I think she has immunity. She can decide how a person leaves her courtroom. On the other hand, I can understand how the feds want to make a big deal out of this. They don't like anyone, least of all judges, interfering with the orderly process of arresting people. I just think this was the wrong one for them to do and then they showed pictures of her in handcuffs and all of that kind of stuff which is a violation of several regulations. I think they overreached by arresting her. If there's an issue in a white collar case with a public official like there was here in New York with Mayor Adams, you don't stop him on the street and put handcuffs on him, you say to his lawyer 'We need to talk to you about whether or not you will voluntarily surrender because we're about to charge you with a crime but because they're on a bit of a jihad against judges, they decided to make an example out of this. I think this is the wrong case out of which to make an example. I think she has immunity. She can decide where a person leaves her courtroom from and what she says to that person, and she can't be prosecuted for it."

Napolitano is right, by the rule of law; this arrest has nothing to do with upholding the law and everything to do with intimidating the judicial branch on behalf of [The Felon]'s fascist agenda.

Judge Dugan should be released immediately.

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Rachel Maddow, out MSNBC correspondent, on The Felon’s first 100 days and his failures:

“There has never been a president who has botched the first 100 days of his presidency more than [The Felon] has. “You don’t have to take that as a subjective view. It’s the view shown in scientific polling of the American public. The public is deeply, deeply, deeply against what [The Felon]  is doing. He’s been very radical in his first hundred days and I think we knew that would be true, but I don’t think we knew he would turn the American public, including a large portion of his own base, against him so quickly, that the public would be willing again and again and again to go protest and say no and rise up against him, that he would fare so uniformly disastrously in court. He’s just been clobbered in the courts in dozens and dozens and dozens of cases already. He’s really flailed. All of this stuff that they have done and then undone, does reflect the radicalism and their ability and willingness to just destroy but they haven’t done a lot of it on purpose. They’ve done a lot of it despite themselves. They’re failure has created wreckage in the U.S. government … They’re [just] not that good at doing what they’re actually trying to do. That momentum is going to be the story of the second 100 days and beyond. Their incompetence, their inability to defend what they’re doing and the American people in a louder and louder and more intense way, just telling them, ‘Nope you’re not doing it.'”

Maddow does not believe The Felon has been any more efficient in his second term than he was in his first and pointed out the administration’s “litany of mistakes” it has had to walk back on, like accidentally firing and scrambling to rehire people in charge of crucial initiatives, like bird flu prevention and nuclear weapons management.

It’s like the insane are running the asylum.

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JB Pritzker, Illinois Democrat governor,  telling Democrats in New Hampshire that the party needs to step up:

“Fellow Democrats, for far too long we’ve been guilty of listening to a bunch of do-nothing political types who would tell us that America’s house is not on fire, even as the flames are licking their faces. Today, as the blaze reaches the rafters, the pundits and politicians—whose simpering timidity served as kindle for the arsonists—urge us now not to reach for a hose. Meanwhile, if we took care to listen to the voices of real people, we would hear our neighbors and friends standing on the street outside screaming for a response, one big enough for a five-alarmer. Never before in my life have I called for mass protests, for mobilization, for disruption. But I am now. These Republicans cannot know a moment of peace. They must understand that we will fight their cruelty with every megaphone and microphone that we have. We must castigate them on the soap box … and then punish them at the ballot box. Today, it’s an immigrant with a tattoo. Tomorrow, it’s a citizen with a Facebook post that annoys [The Felon]. Time to stop apologizing when we were not wrong. Time to stop surrendering when we need to fight. You are standing up for all the people [The Felon] has attacked. We must abandon the culture of incrementalism that has led us to swallow their cruelty and their callousness with barely a cowardly croak.”

The cult is already claiming Pritzker is threatening violence against them which is funny coming from a group of Nazis who stormed the capitol.

Stand up, speak up, be heard, resist!

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I Didn't Say It ...

Herschel Walker, GOP candidate for senator from Georgia and the gift that keeps on giving, apparently referring to Raphael Warnock … or not:

“I’ve always been very transparent. I’ve been very transparent. And I will be a champion for mental health because I’ve helped so many people that had a mental health problem. I think a lot of families have a lot of struggles with mental health, and I will be a champion for that. And they can continue to bring all this, what they want to do against me, because people know what I stand for, Herschel Walker is still standing. My bike is not bent so anyone can ride my bike like he’s going to have Chuck Schumer and Joe Biden riding his bike because he’s going to be voting for whatever they say.”

Wait. So he’s transparent and has helped people with mental illnesses and will continue to do that, and he stands because he’s still standing, except he’s on a bike that isn’t bent.

Seriously Georgia?

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Andrew Napolitano, former Fox News host, says Thing 45 will be indicted soon:

“Even a cursory review of the redacted version of the affidavit submitted in support of the government’s application for a search warrant at the home of [Thing 45] reveals that he will soon be indicted by a federal grand jury for three crimes: Removing and concealing national defense information [NDI], giving NDI to those not legally entitled to possess it, and obstruction of justice by failing to return NDI to those who are legally entitled to retrieve it. In a monumental irony, both Julian Assange … and Edward Snowden …  stand charged with the very same crimes that are likely to be brought against [Thing 45]. On both Mr. Assange and Mr. Snowden, [Thing 45] argued that they should be executed. Fortunately for all three, these statutes do not provide for capital punishment.”

It does not look good for the former Racist-Rapist-Traitor-Grifter-Adulterer-Syphilitic-Asshat-in-Chief.

And I am here for that.

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Jonathan Karl, on ABC This Week, speaking on the GOP’s concerns with Thing 45:

“Publicly, what they’re saying is this is rallying Republicans to [Thing 45]’s defense. This makes it more likely that he will run for president, more likely that he will win the Republican nomination. Campaigning against this political action by the FBI and the DOJ. Privately, they are really concerned. And one of the big concerns here is that [Thing 45] has nobody defending him. If you look at his legal team, it is comically inept and inexperienced. All of the big names who defended him through the first two impeachments, through the Mueller investigation, they are gone. There is real concern that he needs to bring in a heavy hitting criminal defense attorney. I know of several that have been approached who have said no. I even know of one prominent criminal defense attorney who was approached who didn’t even return the phone call.”

Well, no high-level lawyer will work for him because, mostly, he’s guilty AF, and also because he doesn’t pay his lawyers.

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Lindsey Graham, South Carolina GOP Senator , "confirmed bachelor" and Thing 45 ass-kisser, threatening violence is Thing 45 is prosecuted:

“If there’s a prosecution of [Thing 45] for mishandling classified information, after the Clinton debacle … there’ll be riots in the streets. Most Republicans, including me, believes when it comes to Trump, there is no law. It’s all about getting him.”

Oh ma’am, why keep talking, because he will be indicted for some of his crimes, though not all, and if the state of Georgia finds you complicit in election interference, maybe you and Thing 45 can share a cell. Think of it: showers together, meals together, bedtime together, and no Melanie to get in the way.

You’ll finally be Missus Thing 45.

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Tucker Carlson, on global warming:

“The Europeans have discovered that the real threat to human civilization is not global warming, it never was global warming. The real threat to people is global cooling, otherwise known as winter. Far more people freeze to death every year than die of heat. In 2019, for example, four times as many people died of cold as of heat. That’s according to the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation. So when temperatures in Europe begin to drop a few months from now, this is a huge problem and that will be obvious to everyone. It’s not global warming, it’s global cooling. That’s what’s going to kill your grandmother.”

The stupid, it burns. I cannot figure out if Fucker Carlson is really this stupid, or if he thinks his audience is so stupid it will buy the ‘no such thing as global warming because it’s cold in Europe’ line of BS.

Either way, Fucker Carlson is a useless lump of flesh. 

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Ted Cruz, speaking on his podcast about student loan debt forgiveness:

“If you are that slacker barista who wasted seven years in college studying completely useless things, now has loans, and can’t get a job, Joe Biden just gave you twenty grand. Like, holy cow, that twenty grand, you know, maybe you weren’t gonna vote in November and suddenly, you just got twenty grand. And you know, if you can get off the bong for a minute and head down to the voting station, or just send in your mail-in ballot that the Democrats have helpfully sent you, it could drive up turnout, particularly among young people.”

Funny, I guess Ted Cruz, the self-entitled Cancun-going, airport whining, Lauren Boebert pimping asshat thinks the only people with student loans are slackers. I guess all the teachers and nurses and doctors and lawyers still paying off their bills might wanna reconsider supporting the GOP since that party holds them in such disregard.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Alexander Leon, an Australia-based writer and activist who works at the LGBTQ rights organization Kaleidoscope Trust, on what it means to grow up gay:

“Queer people don’t grow up as ourselves, we grow up playing a version of ourselves that sacrifices authenticity to minimize humiliation & prejudice. The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves are truly us & which parts we’ve created to protect us. It’s massive and existential and difficult, but I’m convinced that being confronted with the need for profound self-discovery so explicitly (and often early in life!) is a gift in disguise. We come out the other end wiser & truer to ourselves. Some cis/het people never get there. All of this is to say—be kind to yourself. Discovering who you really are is an enormous task it doesn’t happen overnight, nor does it happen without some hiccups along the way. Be patient, be compassionate, be vulnerable and exist loudly. And most of all –be proud!”

This went viral on social media because it truly breaks down what it means to grow up gay and be closeted and discover yourself and be happy.

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Seth Meyers, Late Night host, on Fox & Friend’s host Ainsley Earhardt flip-flopping on the FBI:

“_____ supporters are self-serving hypocrites who defend intelligence agencies when they want to bomb other countries but attack them when they investigate the president’s crimes [or] Earhardt has an evil twin.”

No, there’s just one Ainsley Earhardt, but she’s a flip-flopping, goose-stepping, Fox News lying hypocrite.

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Mike Pompeo, trying and failing miserably to explain what the “imminent threat” was that led to the killing of General Qassem Soleimani:

“We know what happened at the end of last year in December, ultimately leading to the death of an American. If you are looking for imminence, you need look no further than the days that led up to the strike.”

Gibberish. Lies. Excuses.

You murdered a man to take the eyes off impeachment and the fact your boss is an unhinged traitor.

Just like you are, Mike.

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Tucker Carlson, Fox News, criticizing _____’s assassination of Soleimani:

“Washington has wanted war with Iran for decades. They still want it now. Let’s hope they haven’t finally gotten it. What happened yesterday wasn’t just another symbolic bombing, it was a pivot point. Neocons in Washington understood that immediately. No one in Washington is in a mood for big-picture questions right now. Questions, the obvious ones like: Is Iran really the greatest threat we face? And who’s actually benefiting from this? And why are we continuing to ignore the decline of our own country in favor of jumping into another quagmire from which there is no obvious exit? By the way, if we’re still in Afghanistan 19 years, sad years later, what makes us think there’s a quick way out of Iran … ?”

Another Fox News goose-stepper changing their tune? I won’t hold my breath; it’s Tucker Carlson, after all.

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Andrew Napolitano, Fox News legal analyst on what the Democrats should do about impeaching _____ again:

“If I were a Democrat in the House, I would be moving to re-open the impeachment on the basis of the newly-acquired evidence, these new emails of people getting instructions directly from the president to hold up on the sending of the funds. That would justify holding the articles of impeachment, because there’s new evidence and perhaps new articles. If I were a Republican in the Senate, I would go about my business as if there had been no articles of impeachment. Because until those articles of impeachment come over to the Senate, there is nothing for the Senate to do.”

Well, not exactly true, because _____’s butt boys, Moscow Mitch and Leningrad Lindsey are trying to change the rules regarding the trial and not calling any witnesses.

Imagine a mob boss directing his own trial.

That’s _____ and the GOP-controlled Senate.

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Steve Schmidt, former GOP strategist, on Lindsey Graham:

“People always try to analyze Lindsey through the prism of the manifest inconsistencies that exist between things that he used to believe and what he’s doing now. The way to understand him is to look at what’s consistent. And essentially what he is in American politics is what, in the aquatic world, would be a pilot fish; a smaller fish that hovers about a larger predator, like a shark, living off its detritus. That’s Lindsey. And when he swam around the McCain, broadly viewed as a virtuous and good shark, Lindsey took on the patina of virtue. But wherever the apex shark is, you find the Lindsey fish hovering about, and _____ is the newest shark in the sea. Lindsey has a real draw to power—but he’s found it unattainable on his own merits.”

The most perfect description of goose-stepping Miss Lindsey that I’ve ever heard.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Mike Kelly, GOP Congressman from Pennsylvania, comparing the impeachment vote and the bombing of Pearl Harbor:

“On Dec. 7, 1941, a horrific act happened in the United States, and it’s one that President Roosevelt said, this is a date that will live in infamy,” Kelly said, referring to the famous speech given by then-President Franklin Roosevelt after the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Today, Dec. 18, 2019, is another day that will live in infamy.” 

Yes, a group of Congressmen/women voting to protect this country from a wannabe dictator is exactly like out military men and women being attacked and murdered by a foreign power.

Hey Mike Kelly, when you pull your head out of _____’s you’ll see what an asshat you truly are; fuck off.

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Oscar Isaac , hot actor, on the hope that his and John Boyega’s characters in the new Star Wars film would be the franchise’s first gay characters and become romantically involved:

“Personally, I kind of hoped and wished that maybe that would’ve been taken further in the other films, but I don’t have control. It seemed like a natural progression, but sadly enough it’s a time when people are too afraid, I think, of…I don’t know what. … If they would’ve been boyfriends, that would have been fun.”

Um, Oscar? If I may … if you’d like to explore the idea of having a byfirend, I can help with that.

And if you wanna bring John Boyega along, well, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed either.

Just sayin’.

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Stephen Colbert, mocking Hallmark, and One Million Moms, over that minutes long boycott of the channel for airing a commercial featuring a same-sex couple:

“Let’s be honest. Your whole family isn’t getting together to watch Hallmark Christmas movies. Real moms watch them alone at night while trying to assemble a Fisher-Price kitchen, and drinking out of a wine glass that says, When Caleb Whines, Mommy Wines. We know [Hallmark doesn’t want controversy]. We’ve seen your movies. Hallmark doesn’t generate controversy, character growth, dramatic tension, or leading roles for black people. {And so} just like in the Hallmark classic, A Shoe Addict’s Christmas, there’s a happy ending. … Hallmark announced that they will reinstate the commercials. … There was drama, they broke up, they got back together, a wedding was involved, and everyone was white. Wow. They do have just one plotline.”

I love how he can smackdown both the 100 Moms and Hallmark at the same time.

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Adam Schiff, on _____’s lies that he misrepresented _____’s July 25 call with Ukraine: 

“He’s not going to intimidate me. I think it was quite deliberately designed to be a threat and this is the president’s modus operandi. I’m not the first person he’s made a veiled threat about, I won’t be the last. But this is precisely the kind of conduct Americans should not accept in the Oval Office. This is a president, after all, who has said of people who blow the whistle on him that they’re traitors and spies and should be treated as traitors and spies used to be treated. We used to execute traitors and spies. So this is not a president above threatening anyone who gets in his way, anyone who stands up to him.”

It’ll take a while because the GOP will crash and burn because of _____, but one day, oin the future, Republicans will look back and cringe at how they handled themselves at this time.

At least the one Republican, whoever that is, who still has a soul.

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Nicolle Wallace, MSNBC anchor, questioned the “manliness” of Senate Republicans defending _____, a man who attacked many of them in the past:

“_____ was brutal. It’s a good thing for him that they forgot about that. Years later, with impeachment all but guaranteed, this weekend both of those men [Lyin’ Ted Cruz and Miss Lindsey Graham]—both of those American senators—made clear they would defend _____ and won’t even pretend to be impartial.[My] question is about the manliness, the men, the character. I get the politics, but what about their pride?” 

They have none. They’re all afraid of a mean Tweet.

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Andrew Napolitano, Fox News … yes, Fox News … legal analyst, saying _____ should be impeached:

“James Madison, the author of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, feared a government that was strong enough to protect the people would become too strong for the people to control. It would use its powers not for the nation’s betterment but its own. When the government fails to control itself, he argued, when the president becomes a law unto himself by violating the laws that pertain to all others, the remedy is impeachment. The framers’ greatest fear was a president who would unlawfully put his own needs above the nation’s or who would drag a foreign government into our domestic affairs. [_____] has tried to do both and threatened to repeat those attempts. That’s why the remedy of impeachment is acutely needed.”

Simply put; perfectly said. And on Fox of all places.

_____ must be fuming.

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