Bobservations

The other day I got a text from Carlos at about 4PM saying we needed to rethink dinner.

I.Was.Terrified.

But I texted back and asked why. Well, it seemed he had made rice and veggies and chicken stir-fry but he used a box of chicken broth from the refrigerator that neither one of us knew how long it’s been there.

The answer? Too long. So Carlos said he was starting again with the rice and veggies but couldn’t thaw out any kind of protein even though he had about two hours until dinner.

I arrived home about 5PM and found some andouille sausage in the freezer, thawed it in seconds in the microwave, sliced it, sautéed it, added it to the veggies and chicken , adjusted the spices and in ten minutes we had dinner.

I believe he did that on purpose and I say that because of the sly yet evil grin he had on his face as we ate dinner.

He won … that round.

This Tale of Tuxedo is from April 2020 and is all about Tuxedo’s political activism … As a "cat of color" Tuxedo sympathized with those men and women who were subjected to the Show-me-your-papers laws of Arizona and subsequently decided to go into hiding himself because he does not have the proper documentation.

If I had known at any time while I was in school that you could have had cakes in the library I might have spent more time there!

How is it that Antifa is this huge threat to America but actual Nazis—albeit the chickenshit kind who live in their parent’s basements and wears masks so they don’t get fired from Chick-fil-A—can march through the capitol and that's totally fine? If they are so damn proud why are they covering their faces?

Anyone else find it weird that Cankles can never let go of a grudge? I mean, he still rants about Obama and Biden and Hillary and even Rosie O’Donnell but he never says one single word about any of those people who ALLEGEDLY tried to assassinate him.

It’s as if those attempts weren’t real. 

Now, this comes from a homosexual man so you know that there’s nothing sexual about it at all, but in  this dress I will say that Lupita Nyong'o is the hottest human being on the planet.

That’s all.

Kevin McCarthy, on the Graham Platner sexual assault scandal, boasted that the GOP runs predators out of their party … like the rapist who’s been in the White House for over five years?? 

Tristan Ridel is a French ballet dancer and Demi Soloist at the Vienna State Opera and also models, so Would You Hit It … the dancer or the model or both?

Bobservations

We were having a nice weekend until Saturday night when I felt a sore throat coming on; I mentioned it to Carlos and he goes right to COVID so I told him I’ll get a test. I did, I took it, no COVID. I tell him it just feels like a cold and he said, in all seriousness:

“Where did you get this cold?”

Now, I’m thinking maybe I got it from someone at work, someone on the street, the grocers, could be anywhere, but instead of that I said:

“Maybe it was at the orgy at the firehouse on Friday.”

“You went to an orgy?”

Yes, he did ask that.

PS the storm came and went and was less of a mess than predicted; we got a lot of rain, but no power outages and no high winds. 

This week’s Tuxedo Repost is from March 2011 where I was just sharing some photos of the kids.

“Caturday....With A Small Dose Of Dog[?]urday

Tuxedo and Max Goldberg like to sneak off for a 'nap'. Yeah, that's it......nap. My two handsome men!

Consuelo Roca Jones. Hey, if she doesn't know I'm taking her picture, I don't get the stink eye!

And speaking of stink eye, Tallulah was giving it when I caught her playing with Consuelo's toy.

And Ozzo, poor Ozzo. He begged not to be included on Caturday. He.Begged.”

I loved the way Tuxedo and MaxGoldberg nestled together; just love.

Tallulah would leave us late the following year; she was aloof but loving and quite the diva. Consuelo, on the other hand is that kind of dotty old lady you might see around town, but she’s a sweetheart to all … except maybe Rosita whom she still does not entirely trust.

Now, as for Ozzo, he’s still with us, though his joints ache and his eyes are dimming, but he still has an appetite and still loves the yard and taking walks with his daddies as he enters his :::gulp::: 21st year.

Question: while shopping at the grocery store you realize that something you’ve put in your cart is something you no longer need or want; do you:

#1: Take the item back to the shelf where you found it,

#2: Give it to the cashier at check-out and tell them you no longer want it. Or

#C: Inconspicuously set it on any open spot on any shelf.

I have learned that I am the Spawn of Satan because I slyly slip it onto any open shelf I can find. Sue me. On the other hand, I always put my grocery cart back!

Apparently the last name of Inmate # P01135809 is so toxic in high-society circles these days that a relative of Mr-Former-Fake-One-Term-Twice-Impeached-Currently-Four-Time-Criminally-Indicted-Not-My-President-Gurl [hat tip to Randy Rainbow] has stopped using her last name.

The charity God’s Love We Deliver announced its upcoming Golden Heart Awards dinner, noting the event’s chairpersons include Vogue boss bitch Anna Wintour, fashion designer Michael Kors and others, but there at the bottom of the letter was one more name: Blaine. Just Plain Blaine.

But most people know her as Blaine _____, is Inmate # P01135809’s former sister-in-law, having been married to his late younger brother, Robert, from 1984 to 2009. But now she’s either Blaine Beard—her maiden name—or she’s just Blaine.

Like Cher or Madonna, but not.

It’s being ALLEGED that serial liar, and drag queen wannabe, Republican George Lucas Washington Clooney Santos has joined the ranks of folks using Ozempic to lose weight quickly.

I guess he wants to be the Belle of the Showers in prison.

PS That’s pre-O on the left on post-O on the right and I’m still seeing a little muffin top, Georgie.

At a drag queen story hour event in Princeton, New Jersey last week a bomb threat was called in and it seemed the event might be canceled, but hold on, hennies, cuz drag queens are not here for the foolishness.

That morning  the Princeton Police Department received an anonymous email full of anti-LGBTQ+ Hate Speech and claiming that “numerous explosive devices” had been placed in and around the event site. Police immediately evacuated the venue and searched the area; no explosive devices were found.

Still, the organizers decided to move the event to another building due to safety concerns and, as drag queens do, they acted as if the relocation was part of the fun, with the drag performer leading a conga line dance into the new venue.

It’s story time, bitches, and the drag queens are not playing.

How thirsty for attention must a person be to be so jealous of Inmate # P01135809’s mug shot, that you create one of your own. And I’m looking at you, Large Marge Green.

I cannot wait until her children grow up to write their own “Mommie Dearest” books.

This week, a co-worker—whom we call Junior Gay since I am Senior Gay—was telling me how he’d found a sex tape of his boyfriend giving a blow job to another man, and he was quite upset. Now, the video was made before the two became a couple, but he was upset because he’d been told his boyfriend never did anything like that, and so he asked me how I would feel if I learned that Carlos had a sex tape out there:

“Well, we’ve been together so long it would have been less of a sex tape of Carlos doing the deed, and more like a cave drawing.”

Truth.

British model Deano Perona began his career as a kind of hobby to earn some extra pocket change until he was sent to Milan for a runway show. The nit hit him that this might be a cools job, though the question is: Would You Hit It?

Why Is It ...

… that, out of the blue, for no good reason, I’ll say things like, “Who in the hell in their right mind would buy living room furniture with cup holders in it?” to the person who has living room furniture with cup holders in it?

… that the Barbie movie made more in one day than Ron DeSantis has fundraised in his entire political career?

… that Americans keep reelecting all the old white people to Congress? I mean, god love her, but Dianne Feinstein is no longer able to serve; and then there’s Mitch McConnell’s little freeze this week. Start voting out these in for life politicians and get some new blood into office.

… that people talk about their inner child? I don’t have one; I have an inner old lady that calls everyone a c*nt and wants to be in bed by 8:30.

… MAGAts want to impeach President Biden? Maybe cuz he’s creating jobs, infrastructure, manufacturing, 140 federal judges, and getting inflation down and all they have is fake outrage about laptops, gas stoves, M&Ms, and Barbies.

… that Michael Elizabeth Pence thinks he has a shot at the White House? Democrats hate him. Pro-choice Americans hate him. MAGAts hate him. The only one who appears to like him is Karen Pence and even she’s waffling.

… that the people shooting up Bud Light cans and burning Barbies call everyone else “easily triggered?”

… Rick Scott, Republican, keeps Tweeting that Joe Biden is a criminal when  he’s the one who defrauded millions from Medicare in a healthcare scam? Oh, yeah, GOP.

Why Is It ...

… that rightwingnuts tell me that if I don’t like Jason Aldean’s gun-toting ambiguously racist filmed on a lynching site video and song, then I don’t need to watch it or listen to it?  But if I same the same thing to them about books—if you don’t like certain books, don’t read them—they don’t understand the hypocrisy?

… that Tori Spelling and the five children she shares with her soon-to-be-ex Dean McDermott appear to be living at a $100-a-night motel in the Los Angeles area? Is it because she’s filming another reality show, Tori Does Skid Row?

… a federal judge has refused to allow Florida’s drag ban to go back into effect after an earlier ruling placed a temporary injunction against it?  Is it because the judge knows that drag is art and as such is protected as Free Speech? Go see a drag show, Florida, it’ll take your mind off the fascist you elected governor.

… that Large Marge is all over Twitter saying she will never stop fighting to protect kids, but says not one single word about the so-called men of faith who are raping children in churches? Is it because in church child rape is acceptable to the GOP?

… that the state of Florida wants to teach children that enslaved people benefited from slavery because they learned a trade?

… Miranda Lambert pitched a fit when people took selfies while she sang? I mean, she got her coins and, no disrespect, it’s Miranda Lambert. Does anyone really wanna hear her sing?

... that some days I realize I'm surrounded by idiots, and other days I realize that it's not just some days?

... that the GOP wants so-called pornography, in the form of LGBTQ+ literature, removed from libraries, but cheer when Large Marge shows pornographic, private images in Congress?

Do We Move On? Can We? Should We?

This story has me kind of stymied, so let’s start at the beginning ...

Back on August 12, 2012, several people, including two high school football players, Trent Mays and Ma'lik Richmond, raped a 16-year-old girl in Steubenville, Ohio.

Shortly after midnight, the girl, heavily intoxicated, left a party with four football players and went to a second party where the victim vomited and appeared "out of it." The same group left that party and headed to another home. During the car ride, the victim’s shirt was removed and Trent Mays digitally penetrated the her vagina and exposed her breasts while his friends filmed and photographed her.

Once reaching the house, the players took the victim to the basement where Mays attempted to orally rape the victim by forcing his penis into her mouth. She was stripped naked and the second accused, Ma'lik Richmond, also digitally penetrated the victim's vagina while she was photographed. Three witnesses to the crime took those photos back to the second party and shared them with friends.

In the days following the rapes, Trent Mays tried to orchestrate a cover-up, telling a friend, 'Just say she came to your house and passed out,' and pleading with the victim not to press charges. But Ohio investigators confiscated and analyzed 15 cellphones and two tablets, collecting hundreds of text messages and photos and videos from dozens of students.

During the trial, the victim testified in court that she had no memory of the six-hour period in which the rapes occurred, except for a brief time in which she was vomiting on the street. She said she woke up the next morning naked in a basement with Mays, Richmond and another teenage boy, missing her underwear, flip-flops, phone and earrings.

The evidence presented in court consisted of hundreds of texts and cellphone pictures taken by more than a dozen people at the parties and afterwards traded with others and posted to Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube.

On March 17, 2013, Trent Mays and Ma'lik Richmond were convicted of rape after the judge found they had used their fingers to digitally penetrate the victim's vagina and that it was impossible for the victim to have given consent. Ma'lik Richmond received a minimum sentence of one year for penetrating the girl while she was unconscious, while Trent Mays was given a minimum two year sentence for penetrating the girl while she was unconscious and disseminating pornographic pictures of her. Ma'lik Richmond was released from detention on January 5, 2014 and this story is about him ...

In 2016, Ma’lik Richmond transferred to Youngstown State and tried to resurrect his football career.  YSU head coach Bo Pelini knew about Richmond’s transfer, and met with him in person after YSU’s 2015 season ended. Richmond made the team as a walk-on, and was slated to appear for the Penguins until a student circulated a petition demanding that YSU prohibit Richmond from playing for the team. More than 10,000 people signed the petition, and YSU officials then announced that Ma’lik Richmond would be allowed to stay on the team for practices and other team activities, but would not be allowed to play for the Penguins during the 2016-2017 season.

Richmond—who says his transfer to football powerhouse Youngstown State had nothing to do with football—sued the school for denying him the opportunity to potentially advance his professional football career and this month his lawyers and the school reached a settlement that will reinstate Ma’lik Richmond to the team.

“What is most important is that Ma’lik moves on. This is a case about Ma’lik being given all the opportunities afforded a student of good standing.”—Susan Stone, Richmond’s attorney

But what about ethics? Most colleges and universities hold their student athletes to higher levels of accountability than typical students; breaking even the smallest of team rules can result in disciplinary action, up to and including dismissal from the team. And while college athletics departments have a spotty track record for handling instances of sexual assault, players have been cut from rosters all the time for getting into legal trouble. But what about the legal trouble that occurs before the student joins a team?

During court hearings, Richmond’s legal team argued that YSU had “hurt [his] football career prospects by curtailing his exposure to professional scouts at the peak of his abilities,” and that the university was “contractually obligated” to let Richmond play; this claim is absurd because no college athlete, anywhere, any time, is guaranteed a spot on a team’s roster. Still, Richmond won his case and will be allowed to play on the team, so here’s the question: when do we forgive, if that’s even the right word, and move on?

While many, myself included, think Richmond’s sentence for rape was far too light, it was the sentence given to him, and he served it. And so, do we continue to punish him for the rest of his life for a crime, albeit a sexual assault, he committed as a teenager? When do we move on? Do we move on?

I lean toward ‘Yes.’ Richmond did the crime, he did his time, he paid his debt, hoewever light that might have been; but then I think about the victim. She’ll carry this with her forever, and then, perhaps, one day she might absentmindedly be clicking though the channels on her TV and come across a professional football game and see one of her rapists playing, being celebrated for his athleticism, and making, no doubt, quite a good living off the sport.

And I lean toward ‘No.’ Have we done her a disservice? Have we once again subjected her to more victimization?

I want to think we could, and this isn’t the right word, forgive, the crime of a teenager and let him, or her, live their lives as they choose, but then I think about the life-long emotional scars on that victim and wonder if we should ever, in any way shape or form, forgive a convicted convicted rapist.

Like I said, I’m stymied. Do we continue, for the rest of his life, to punish Ma'lik Richmond for his crime and deny him the right to earn a living doing what he loves? Or, do we stand with the victim, for always, and tell this young man that all he is, and all he will ever be is a convicted rapist?

What do you think?

Who? Me? Thanks Anne Marie For This Award

So, last weekend that wacky and wild and funny Anne Marie, From My Brain To My Mouth, has nominated me for an award — the Liebster — for which I am extremely grateful and awed … because, you know, I was hoping for an Oscar first.

And since I had some pre-planned posts and since Donald [t]Rump went off the rails … again … it’s taken me a few days to respond.

I am supposed to nominate 11 other blogs for this award, but I’ll simply ask that those who like the idea just play along and see what we can learn about our internet families …

Here are the 11 Questions:

1] Which literary genre do you prefer?

I read almost everything … and a few things at the same time. I am currently reading Station Eleven …look, there’s that eleven again … about a traveling troupe of Shakespearean actors in a post-apocalyptic world. I am also reading Z, about Zelda Fitzgerald, F. Scott’s wife. And I am rereading A Clockwork Orange.

2] Why did you start blogging?

I like to write, I have a definite POV and I like sharing ideas and thoughts with other folks. Plus, I like to read blogs, so if I was gonna read, I’d bettah write, right?

3] Order or chaos?

I am all about order, but understand that there will be chaos.

4] Where would you like to live?

I could, and have, lived in a variety of places, big and small and Smallville, but as long as Carlos is there that’s where I live. Oh, and as long as it's not too far from the ocean; I need to be able to get to the sea quickly when I feel the urge

5] Starry sky or sunset?

Sunset. I love the way the skies change from the blues of the day to the pinks and oranges and blacks of night.

6] Paper book or e-book?

I have an e-reader that I use when we travel, so I don’t have to carry the books I am reading, but at home, in my chair, propped up in bed, lounging in the sunroom, I must have an actual book that I can touch and smell and turn pages and fall into.

7] What is the writing for?

As for the blog, it’s just to share thoughts and ideas and opinions and fun stuff with people who might be interested. It’s a connection and since I have people dropping by here from every corner of this country and abroad, that’s pretty cool. As for other's writing, it's to learn and grow and understand.

8] TV or not TV?

I love TV; I can watch the good stuff and the crap. It’s a way to hear a story, have a laugh, learn something, or just relax.

9] What do you think about social networks?

Well, there’s’ the blog, of course, so I am into that. I Tweet, mostly to share my blog, and to get breaking news—it was the place to be during that historic Supreme Court decision this past summer to read all those fabulous Tweets about equality. And I Facebook to keep up with friends that are far away and to get some news.

10] Favorite food?

Spicy. I like spicy Indian food, and spicy Asian foods, and spicy Mexican food—though I have learned from Carlos that real Mexican food, at least from where he grew up, isn’t really as spicy as all that.

11] Favorite music genres?

I like a lot of all of it, save rap; I like to read a rap lyric, as long as it isn’t misogynistic or homophobic or violet, because it’s almost like poetry. But I can opera, and I can rock, and I can classical, and I can country—as long as it isn’t too twangy. I pop; and I blues and I standards and I world music, folk music and and … yeah, I like almost all of it.

And now for 11 random things about Bob:

1] I am petrifying shy in situations where I’m not in control or out of my element, though I find that, after the fact, I have enjoyed myself.

2] I have a novel I hope to see published one day and another story in me right now trying to get out.

3] I like my animals more than I like most people … except for Carlos and my family.

4] I am a middle child and nearly everything you’ve heard about middle children fits me.

5] I like mustard with French fires; I loathe ketchup or catsup or whatever that is, though I love tomatoes.

6] I don’t like sweets, unless it’s the Peanut Butter Cup.

7] I awake each and every day with a song in my head; some songs stick around for a few days and some just wander in, but I wake up singing.

8] I am fascinated by death, because I believe in reincarnation and believe I’ll be back; now that doesn’t mean I want to hurry along in this life.

9] I have a very vivid imagination that leans toward the macabre; if I cannot reach Carlos I instantly jump to, “He’s dead.” I can’t help it.

10] I am, and this ain’t bragging, extraordinarily hilarious and extremely quick-witted.

11] I have been in love twice in my life; the first time broke my heart, and this time it healed me.

Now, anyone else wanna play … ?

Normal

We sat last night, as we usually do, finishing dinner and going over the minutiae of our day. Was it a productive day? Not so much. Did you learn something new? Always. Of course, it helped to be sipping a very nice Pinot Noir; red wine always makes a conversation flow.

Carlos was telling me about preparing a presentation on HIV for one of the local churches. No, not the Baptists, because Baptists don't do anything that might lead to HIV. The church in question was an Islamic church in Columbia. Carlos had given a presentation there once before and it was very well-received, so his group was asked back, with one caveat.

They needed to have a woman available to talk to the women in the church.

Carlos didn't quite understand this. He knew that men and women worshipped separately, and that woman were considered subservient to men, but he couldn't grasp how this is possible in the world today. He said it was abnormal for women to be treated, and to let themselves be treated, that way.

I said he was looking at Islam from a different perspective; from growing up in Mexico City to living the last twenty-odd years here in the US, and that his view was not the view of Islam, so he couldn't judge them based on his own experiences.

But it isn't normal, he said.

That lead us to a conversation about what is normal. An interesting chat considering we're a gay couple and, depending on whom you believe, and who yells the loudest. most people think we're abnormal.

So, what is normal?

My parents were married almost fifty-two years before my mother passed away. That isn't normal, when you consider the divorce rate these days. They had three children, so is that normal? Couldn't be because the Morrison's from across the street only had two children, so was that normal? But then what about the couple that lived next door? They had no children, but they did have a Great Dane who had his own room and a twin bed to sleep in. How's that for normal?

I'm gay. Is that normal? There are theories that suggest 10% of the population is gay, but 30% of my parents children are homosexual, Extrapolate that out to include the children of my aunts and uncles, and 14% of my population is gay; and the number gets smaller if you factor in the aunts and uncles and nieces and nephews that have been added over the years.

So, what is normal, and why do we base normality on our own experiences rather than celebrating what is different about each of us? My normal isn't even Carlos' normal; he is an only child. So, do I think of him as abnormal, or is that me?

Are the women who worship separately at an Islamic church abnormal, or is that simply the way of life for them?

See, normal isn't normal. It shifts and varies with each of us, based on socio-economic issues, issues of geography and education and faith and sexual orientation and gender and age. There really is no normal.

Which is normal.