Bobservations

Work on the kitchen goes on; we are awaiting the delivery of the specialty tile I ordered so we can get the hood installed and the light up, but our contractor Craig was here this week installing all the knobs. He had a “management” question so naturally I was summoned from the office to the kitchen to discuss the issue, but first Craig apologized:

“I would have been done sooner but Carlos keeps coming out here and bothering me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“He was bugging me in the office so I kept sending him out here!”

And Carlos chimes in:

“I can hear you, you know.”

Oh, we know …

This Tuxedo Says is from June 2021, but is just as relevant today:

With all these state legislatures trying to pass these voter suppression bills, they are the perfect place to start voting out the RepubliQAnons.

That cat was onto something even back then!

The Cankles Regime has stopped commemorating December 1 as World AIDS Day. The US has honored that day every year since 1988 but no longer.

Bottom of Form

TheThThe Regime has  drastically cut federal funding for HIV prevention worldwide and an estimated 127,073 adult and 13,527 infant deaths have been caused by the effects of HIV/AIDS due to Cankles’ cuts in funding for the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief [PEPFAR], a program that has saved an estimated 25 to 26 million lives since its inception in 2003.

Fuck Cankles.

I recently read that Jennifer Lopez was paid $2 million to perform at a billionaire’s star-studded wedding in India.

I’ve said this about Taylor Swift and the same holds true for Jell-O … she could give a free concert in my kitchen and I still wouldn’t go.

Starbucks will pay about $38 million to more than 15,000 workers in what officials are calling the largest worker protection settlement in New York City history after the company denied thousands of workers stable schedules and cut their hours arbitrarily.

The bosses make millions and then fucks their employees.

Don’t go to Starbucks. Ever.

In Washington DC two members of the National Guard, Army Specialist Sarah Beckstrom and Air Force Staff Sgt. Andrew Wolfe were shot over the weekend and Beckstrom died from her wounds.

Instantly Cankles ordered 500 more National Guard members into DC but when children are shot in a school nothing happens.

Let that sink in ...

Anyone who invested $12,500 in the Slovenian Hooker’s meme coin scheme at its peak, not has $118 left.

I could feel sorry for those people, but if they believed that anyone in that family would make them rich gets what they got.

Jinkx Monsoon will star as Judy Garland in the revival of Peter Quilter's End of the Rainbow musical and Friends of Dorothy AKA The Gays, as well as Friends of Jinkx couldn't be more excited.

Monsoon, clearly the biggest winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race, has done everything from playing Matron Mama Morton in Chicago, Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors, Ruth in Pirates! The Penzance Musical, and Mary Todd Lincoln in Oh, Mary! and says approach to playing Garland will be different:

"I know people know me for impressions and imitations—but I'm thrilled for this chance to explore beyond the laughter and into the heart of why we still think so much about Judy today. Her tale is one that we can't forget, especially as women in entertainment are still fighting for autonomy and agency in their own careers. I'm ready to bring new aspects of her story to the stage, and to share what I find so tragically beautiful about her life.”

Monsoon Season comes to England from May 15 through June 21, 2026, at the Soho Theatre.

If we are at war, then DUI Hire Pete Hegseth is a war criminal. And if we are not at war then Pete Hegseth is a murderer and draft dodging Cankles is his accomplice.

Jakob Jokerst is a Germany model discovered at age 16; since then he quickly made a name for himself in the fashion industry and expanded into the strange new occupation, social media influencer, so now, at age 26 … Would You Hit It?

Architecture Wednesday: Los Feliz Spanish Home

This 1931 Spanish home blends character details with modern ease. It sits on a full street-to-street lot with beautiful views of the cascading falls of the Rowena reservoir from the kitchen, dining room and backyard.

Incredible curb appeal enhanced by ornate, colorful tilework, mature landscaping and custom woodwork and rows of palm trees set in the backdrop, the entry leads to a tranquil front courtyard perfect for enjoying morning coffee or afternoon cock-a-tales. A custom front door with speakeasy grill opens to 1930s-character details such as archways, built-in bookshelves, a high coved ceiling, a grand picture window, hearth design and refinished tongue-and-groove hardwood floors.

The oversized living room is a dream for hosting and entertaining as it flows into the dining room and backyard taking full advantage of the views of the water. The light fixtures and custom cabinetry of the kitchen add a modern touch that compliments the original Spanish detail.

A powder room, and two bedrooms, each with its own custom designed bathroom from the tile to the Venetian plaster work, fill out the remainder of the main floor while the lower level can be used as a den, home office, art or music studio, or guest bedroom.

In addition, the spacious enclosed backyard features lemon, lime & pomegranate trees and an open green space separating the main house from the ADU that offers a full kitchen with plenty of storage as well a large open space and a full bathroom.

It’s a beautiful transformation of a nearly 100-year-old home into something that feels both old and new.

Dwell

Meme Dump: All Cats, All Truths

An Open Letter to Kevin Spacey

Dear Kevin Spacey,

I, and most of the world, when you were sued by several young men for sexual misconduct allegations back in 2017, which led to you being fired from major projects and shunned by the film industry. Well, what I remember most is that, after years and years of rumors that you were gay, and after years and years of him vehemently denying it, you finally came as a way of seemingly explaining why you tried to assault Anthony Rapp when he was just 14:

"I have a lot of respect and admiration for Anthony Rapp as an actor. I'm beyond horrified to hear this story. I honestly do not remember the encounter ... But if I did behave then as he describes, I owe him the sincerest apology for what would have been deeply inappropriate drunken behavior. As those closest to me know, I have had relationships with both men and women. I have loved and had romantic encounters with men throughout my life, and I choose now to live as a gay man."

So much to unpack; you said, “if I did behave … as he describes,” which takes zero accountability for your actions with a child, but then you blame it on being drunk, and finally say it was because you were a closeted gay man.

I was insulted from the jump because you, as a gay man, played into that trope that closeted gay men, hell, most gay men, sexually assault young boys because we are all pedophiles. Not so, Kevin; you assaulted young men because you’re a predator who used you power and fame and influence and reputation as a well-respected actor to lure young men into hotel rooms to assault them.

You didn’t molest anyone because you were gay, you did it because you’re a predator, whether drunk or not. I lost whatever respect I had for you at the time and now you step into the light, again, to say you’re homeless because the scandal ruined your career:

“I’m living in hotels, I’m living in Airbnbs, I’m going where the work is. I literally have no home, that’s what I’m attempting to explain.”

Oh I am heartbroken. You live in hotels and Airbnbs? And that’s homelessness? I imagine a great many unhoused people would love to have the funds to live in a nice hotel—because we all know you’re not staying at Motel 6 down by the highway—or at an Airbnb:

“I’ve had very little coming in and everything going out … Everything is in storage, and I hope at some point, if things continue to improve, that I’ll be able to decide where I want to settle down again.”

So, you have lots of things in storage that I’m sure you pay for and live in hotels as you travel the world for work and you want, what, sympathy? Sorry, Kevin, not sorry. This is a mess of your making and you have yet to fess up to what you’ve done and fully apologize for it, and you have continued to play the victim.

The booze made you assault young men and boys.

Being gay made you do it.

And now you want us to believe you’re homeless?

Not happening. You’re responsible for this and any time you try to play the victim card you are negating the lives of all those men and boys that you assaulted.

Thank.Full.

I first posted a version of this back in Ott-Eight, a few days after I started this here blog thing … cripes, I’ve been doing this for seventeen years … and have edited it, as need be, and reposted it every year to remind me of where I was then, what I thought then, and what I wanted out of life. And every year as I repost it, I realize that the more things change the more they stay the same.

Now, not to brag, but I've been told that I am an extremely polite person. I was raised on Please and Thank you, Yes Ma'am, No Sir, and I still act that way today.

True story: I was selected for jury duty when we lived in Miami and when it was my turn to be questioned, I stood up in the very narrow aisle and put my hands behind my back. As I was questioned, I replied Yes sir and No Sir. The judge stopped and smiled.

"Are you in the military?" he asked.

"No, sir" I said. "I was raised by a military man and a Southern woman."

True story: A few years before that, while living in California, I was in a grocery store buying a birthday cake for a coworker. I asked if I may please order a cake. May I please have a name iced onto it? I ‘Pleased’ and ‘Thank you'd’ my way through the entire process and finally as the girl was leaving to finish my order, she turned and said, “I think you are the politest person I've ever waited on."

I smiled and said, "Could you just shut up, please, and ice my damn cake!"

When all else fails I slip into sarcasm. That's my motto, and I’m thankful for that, too, but I digress.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, probably because there are no gifts involved, except for the gift of time and good food and drink; time spent with loved ones and friends; the gift of thanks. A day of thanks; a truly American holiday, like 4th of July, but one we celebrate not with picnics and beer, firecrackers and sparklers, but with a meal shared with friends and family, and pets, always the pets.

I have so much to be thankful for again this year. Yes, the usual family and friends and health and happiness, blah blah blah, everyone says that …

My father was a tough man who may not have expressed love openly often—though his last words to me were “I love you.”—but he did so when it was important.

The day I came out to him, he said, “You’re my son and I love you.”

The day I move to Miami to start this life with Carlos, he said, “Be happy. I love you.”

The day Carlos and I got married, he said, “I love you both.’

I am thankful for the time and the years and the memories.

I am thankful for this link around the world that I have found with bloggers, where I find people very different from myself, and people very much like myself, and we all co-exist peacefully. I still miss the glorious Anne Marie and her love for F-bombs and disdain for ABBA, something we shared, and I am grateful for the bloggers who still blog and the words and opinions and jokes and Candy Shop photos they share.

As a gay man I know all too well that … cue PSA music … It Gets Better.

Twenty-four years ago, when we began this ride, Carlos and I couldn’t be legally married anywhere in America, and here we are now, married for ten years … in South Carolina of all places. I am thankful for that every day and will fight to the death anyone who thinks our marriage can somehow be erase. Carlos and I are husband and husband and that’s how it will stay. That bell cannot be unrung, no matter who says what. No matter who sits on the Supreme Court.

Trust. And be thankful.

I am thankful for the years I had with my sister—I miss her every single day—because of the things she taught me and continues to teach me. I am grateful to her four daughters, all of whom she raised so well that when Carlos and I told them we were getting married, they all responded, “Now he really is our Uncle.”

I am thankful to my Mom, especially today. Thanksgiving was her holiday; cooking for her family was my mother’s greatest joy and a great gift to all of us. I am thankful that I can keep that tradition alive and can see my Mom in myself as Carlos and I cook dinner for our friends. I am thankful for her kindness, even to those who were unkind to her; I am grateful for her laughter, which I can still hear in my head, and the way she would say, ‘Bye-bye, sweetie, I love you,’ as we ended a phone call.

I am thankful for icy cold mornings and clear blue skies … colored leaves falling. I am thankful for Consuelo and Rosita because, well, I'm bigger than them and I will always beat them ... just channeling a little Joan Crawford and Christina at the pool.

I am thankful being ‘Dad’ to The Great tuxedo, MaxGoldberg, and Ozzo, for their entire lives, and for the joy they brought into our lives every single day. If you pay attention, you can really learn something about people from your pets, and not just unconditional love …

I am thankful for Carlos. Every.Single.Day. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about how lucky I am to have him; even the days when he makes me insane … more insane. I realize I’d rather be driven nuts by him for a moment than not to have him in my life at all. I am thankful for the smirk he gives me; I am thankful for the look of horror on his face when I bust out a showtune; I am just plain thankful. I don’t know where I’d be, or who I’d be, if I hadn’t met him all those years ago.

I am thankful for music and pets and soft blankets and breathing and speaking, and having a voice to use, and use often. I realize we are once again facing a tough time in this country; we are once again facing division; we are still seeing our Black and Brown brothers and sisters killed by police, and self-entitled crybaby vigilantes; we are still seeing our trans brothers and sisters murdered; we still see hate; we are seeing hatred towards refugees fleeing their homeland to come to a country built by immigrants and slaves.

But I remain hopeful, hope filled, and thankful, that this country, most of this country, will once again stand against that hate and divisiveness; I am thankful that we will stand for one another and not against one another; that we will stand up to those who hate; speak out against those who use fear to intimidate others; resist those who are untruthful. I am thankful that more people are standing up for those who may not feel like anyone would ever stand for them.

I am thankful for being woke. Yes, I am thankful for that … and thinking being feeling loving breathing laughing crying living and speaking.

For Life … and all it encompasses.

To Life.

Thanks.

PS We are once again celebrating Thanksgiving tomorrow with chosen family members and friends and then I'm taking the weekend off. 

Have a thankful day and I'll see y'all on Monday.

Architecture Wednesday: San Francisco Home With Guesthouse and Secret Garden

This is a special house in a very special city; a majestic home, a one-of-a-kind compound with two historic buildings set on a tree-lined block with its own private garden of towering palms, bamboo, flowering native plantings. With a powerful history from an earthquake shelter to a pipe organ factory to, well it is San Francisco, a bath house , there is a rich provenance in this property.

The two well-appointed dwellings offer a divine retreat from The City, potential for large scale entertaining and offering its occupants working space for artistic endeavors, collaboration, exchange of ideas and study.

In the main house, with soaring rugged beams and ceilings, is an expansive great room with tall windows facing the garden offering southern light. The open plan room features a living room with great fireplace, a dining area, and a professionally appointed kitchen, warmed by wide-plank flooring.

The main floor also includes a meditation-yoga space, one and one-half baths, a separate butler's pantry-catering kitchen as well as an additional full bath, clad in slate stone and ancient Indonesian wood, in the garage area for a post surf shower.

A mezzanine wraps the space and functions as an open studio space or lounge on one end, overlooking the main salon and providing access to the private sleeping quarters at the other; one is a sky-lit primary suite with en suite bath, as well as two additional bedrooms with luxurious shared bath, and private office.

Across the garden and up a flight of stairs is the charming one-bedroom guest cottage with classic turn-of-the-century detailing and a fresh modern finish; a combination living and dining area, a luminous lounge and deck overlooking the garden and its own private garage with storage, laundry, and workshop.

So much going for it: two homes in a total of 3475 square feet with five bedrooms and five full bathrooms for $4.8 million.

As always click to emBIGGERate …

Dwell