Thank.Full.

I first posted a version of this back in Ott-Eight, a few days after I started this here blog thing … cripes, I’ve been doing this sixteen years … and have edited it, as need be, and reposted it every year to remind me of where I was then, what I thought then, and what I wanted out of life. And every year as I repost it, I realize that the more things change the more they stay the same.

Now, not to brag, but I've been told that I am an extremely polite person. I was raised on Please and Thank  You, Yes Ma'am, No Sir, and I still act that way today.

True story: I was selected for jury duty when we lived in Miami and when it was my turn to be questioned, I stood up in the very narrow aisle and put my hands behind my back. As I was questioned, I replied Yes sir and No Sir. The judge stopped and smiled.

"Are you in the military?" he asked.

"No, sir" I said. "I was raised by a military man and a Southern woman."

True story: A few years before that, while living in California, I was in a grocery store buying a birthday cake for a coworker. I asked if I may please order a cake. May I please have a name iced onto it? I ‘Pleased’ and ‘Thank you'd’ my way through the entire process and finally as the girl was leaving to finish my order, she turned and said, “I think you are the politest person I've ever waited on."

I smiled and said, "Could you just shut up, please, and ice my damn cake!"

When all else fails I slip into sarcasm. That's my motto, and I’m thankful for that, too, but I digress.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, probably because there are no gifts involved, except for the gift of time and good food and drink; time spent with loved ones and friends; the gift of thanks. A day of thanks; a truly American holiday, like 4th of July, but one we celebrate not with picnics and beer, firecrackers and sparklers, but with a meal shared with friends and family, and pets, always the pets.

I have so much to be thankful for again this year. Yes, the usual family and friends and health and happiness, blah blah blah, everyone says that, but this year, with the exception of another awful day in February … my least favorite month.

One of those bad days is nearly two years past, the day Tuxedo left us, and it still hits me every single day; but I am thankful for the many years with the Greatest Cat Ever, and his little buddy MaxGoldberg, who left us in 2022, and for Ozzo, that wee black dog that used to tear across the back yard with a four-foot tree branch in his mouth begging to play fetch.

And that bad February day this year when my father passed away. I was lucky—is lucky the right word—to be sitting at his side when he passed, just like I had done when my mother died in 2007; I felt them leave, felt that love, and was thankful for having them in my life all those years, and since then.

My father was a tough man who may not have expressed love openly often—though his last words to me were “I love you.”—but he did so when it was important.

The day I came out to him, he said, “You’re my son and I love you.”

The day I move to Miami to start this life with Carlos, he said, “Be happy. I love you.”

The day Carlos and I got married, he said, “I love you both.’

I am thankful for the time and the years and the memories.

I am thankful for this link around the world that I have found with bloggers, where I find people very different from myself, and people very much like myself, and we all co-exist peacefully. I still miss the glorious Anne Marie and her love for F-bombs and disdain for ABBA, something we shared, and I am grateful for the bloggers who still blog and the words and opinions and jokes and Candy Shop photos they share.

As a gay man I know all too well that … cue PSA music … It Gets Better.

Twenty-four years ago, when we began this ride, Carlos and I couldn’t be legally married anywhere in America, and here we are now, married for nine years … in South Carolina of all places. I am thankful for that every day and will fight to the death anyone who thinks our marriage can somehow be erased. Carlos and I are husband and husband and that’s how it will stay. That bell cannot be unrung, no matter who says what. No matter who sits on the Supreme Court.

Trust. And be thankful.

I am thankful for the years I had with my sister—I miss her every single day—because of the things she taught me and continues to teach me. I am grateful to her four daughters, all of whom she raised so well that when Carlos and I told them we were getting married, they all responded, “Now he really is our Uncle.”

I am thankful to my Mom, especially today. Thanksgiving was her holiday; cooking for her family was my mother’s greatest joy and a great gift to all of us. I am thankful that I can keep that tradition alive and can see my Mom in myself as Carlos and I cook dinner for our friends. I am thankful for her kindness, even to those who were unkind to her; I am grateful for her laughter, which I can still hear in my head, and the way she would say, ‘Bye-bye, sweetie, I love you,’ as we ended a phone call.

I am thankful for icy cold mornings and clear blue skies … colored leaves falling. I am thankful for Consuelo and Rosita because, well, I'm bigger than them and I will always beat them ... just channeling a little Joan Crawford and Christina at the pool.

I am thankful for Carlos. Every.Single.Day. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about how lucky I am to have him; even the days when he makes me insane … more insane. I realize I’d rather be driven nuts by him for a moment than not to have him in my life at all. I am thankful for the smirk he gives me; I am thankful for the look of horror on his face when I bust out a showtune; I am just plain thankful. I don’t know where I’d be, or who I’d be, if I hadn’t met him all those years ago.

I am thankful for music and pets and soft blankets and breathing and speaking, and having a voice to use, and use often. I realize we are still facing a tough time in this country; we are still facing division; we are still seeing our Black and Brown brothers and sisters killed by police, and self-entitled crybaby vigilantes; we are still seeing our trans brothers and sisters murdered; we still see hate; we are seeing hatred towards refugees fleeing their homeland to come to a country built by immigrants and slaves.

But I remain hopeful, hope filled, and thankful, that this country, most of this country, will once again stand against that hate and divisiveness; I am thankful that we will stand for one another and not against one another; that we will stand up to those who hate; speak out against those who use fear to intimidate others; resist those who are untruthful. I am thankful that more people are standing up for those who may not feel like anyone would ever stand for them.

I am thankful for being woke. Yes, I am thankful for that … and thinking being feeling loving breathing laughing crying living and speaking.

For Life … and all it encompasses.

To Life.

Thanks.

PS We are celebrating Thanksgiving tomorrow with chosen family members and friends and then I'm taking the weekend off. 

Have a thankful day and I'll see y'all on Monday.

Architecture Wednesday: Casa Dos Sueños

The House of Two Dreams, in Merida, Mexico, consists of three main blocks. The first block consists of the three original bays; the first being the foyer and the carport. The second bay consists of a TV room, laundry, a full bathroom, an outdoor shower and a small interior patio. In the third bay is another sitting area as well as a bedroom.

Between the first and second blocks is a central courtyard with a glass ceiling and concrete curved stairway with iron railings that lead to the second-floor office and primary suite. In the next block, you’ll find the kitchen, dining room, and guest bathroom. There is also access to the covered patio and outdoor kitchen and dining area.

Between the second and third block is an enclosed garden with pool area and a small garden, before you arrive at the last block featuring  two more en suite bedrooms. Upstairs, over the main house, the primary bedroom has access to a balcony with a small tub, a full bathroom as well as a home office connected to the main room by a bridge through the central courtyard.

I adore Merida, and could easily live there in a house like this, perhaps a bit smaller?

Click to emBIGGERate ...

Amazing Architecture

Meme Dump

This Bitch: Nancy Mace

South Carolina Republican Representative Nancy Mace stepped up to welcome Representative-elect Sarah McBride, the first transgender woman elected to Congress, to the House by calling McBride a “man in a dress” and introducing a resolution to ban transgender women from using the women’s restroom in the Capitol and any of the House office buildings.

Mace, who flip-flops worse than a dying fish on a dock—she was pro-Felon, then anti-Felon and is now again pro-Felon—gleefully told reporters that she introduced the bill specifically because of McBride and seemed to enjoy the added bonus that her Hate Bill would likely impact all transgender people who work at the Capitol, saying:

“She was born a biological male; she should use the men’s restroom. That’s how it should work.”

And then she took her Hate to X where Hate lives:

“Never thought this would have to happen, but we are introducing a resolution banning biological men from entering protected spaces for women on Capitol grounds. Protecting biological women starts here and it starts now.”

“Playing make believe dress up doesn't mean you should be allowed in women's private spaces.”

“Women's bathrooms are for biological women. Not men in a mini skirt.”

And because she found herself scoring clicks on social media and the news media, Nancy Mace then did an interview with Scripps anchor Liz Landers who tried to check her transphobia:

LANDERS: I just want to add that [McBride] does identify as a woman. I will be referring to her in that way–.

MACE: She’s not a woman! It’s a MAN! She was born a man! She’s a man! She is biologically a male. That is science. You guys on the left in the mainstream media want to say, “follow the science.” Let’s follow the science! Okay. He is a man. He can wear a dress–.

LANDERS: Congresswoman–.

NANCY MACE: He can call himself … his pronouns, can be she or her. But he doesn’t belong in a women’s restroom, period!

LANDERS: Are you suggesting that the representative-elect McBride poses some kind of danger to you and other women in Congress?

MACE: Absolutely! Absolutely! 100%. This is an assault on women, a man being a biological man, a man with a penis, male genitalia—being in a women’s locker room is an assault on women. And so the question is, do I have rights as a woman or not? And I’m not going to allow the media or Congress to strip away women’s rights for one half of 1% of people out there. That more than likely, he’s got a mental illness and this is why he’s doing this. He should not be forcing his private parts into women’s private spaces. I’m absolutely a no, hard pass on this. I’m going to fight it every step of the way.

LANDERS: Are you diagnosing, right now, an incoming member of Congress with a mental illness? I’m not sure how you would know that.

MACE: I am absolutely diagnosing anyone who cross-dresses with a mental illness. And in fact, by the way, I’m getting death threats from men dressed up as women who want to kill me because I don’t want penises in women’s bathroom.

Kill her? Trans people don’t want to kill her, they just want to pee. People born male, assigned male at birth, who identify as male, are not going to endure years of therapies and hormones and surgeries just to use a Congressional bathroom hoping to get a glimpse of Nany Mace’s, or any woman’s, private parts no matter how much she screams about it.

But her shrieks were heard by Nationalist Christian, AKA Nat-C Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, who announced that transgender women are not permitted to use bathrooms in the Capitol or bathrooms in House office buildings, changing rooms and locker rooms. Under House rules, the Nat-C Speaker has “general control” of facilities in the chamber, giving him the authority to issue the policy surrounding bathrooms.

General control? Will Mikey be doing Penis Proving at the ladies’ loo? Vaginal Verification at the men’s room?

But what’s even more sickening about Nancy Mace and her transphobic hatred—lies, really—is that she used to reject this kind of politics. In a March 2021 interview with the Washington Examiner, Mace said:

“I strongly support LGBTQ rights and equality. No one should be discriminated against.”

Mace said she believed “religious liberty, the First Amendment, gay rights, and transgender equality can all coexist.”

But now that The Felon and the anti-transgender party is in power Nancy Mace, like the coward she and most Republicans are, has backtracked, flip-flopped, and shrieked like a howler monkey about the dangers of allowing transwomen to use a female bathroom.

I hope that Nancy Mace goes somewhere in this country, anywhere in the country, and tries to use a women’s restroom and someone stops her because they believe her to be transgender and want to do a genital check.

This Bitch!

The Funny Papers

Dave Whamond, Mike Luckovich, Jesse Duqette, Jack Ohman, Max Espinosa, Michael de Adder, Marc Murphy, Kevin Necessary, Nick Anderson, RJ Matson, Christopher Weyant, Lalo Alcaraz, David Horsey, Darrin Bell, Gary Huck, Bill Bramhall,