Ain't That America XVIII

Oh yes, another week of fascism and racism and criminal activity, but with bright spots of judges stepping up and FBI employees standing down, with a little rant from The Dumb One, Eric … Let’s dish …

That’s Lindsey Halligan, Cankles’ handpicked attorney, whom he met on a golf course, going after James Comey.

Her resume is unique … she’s a beauty contest winner and an insurance attorney who has never prosecuted a single case.

No skills, other than the ability to kiss orange ass.

Koncentration Kamp Kristi DogKilling Cosplaying Noem has said the ICEstapo will be “all over that place. We are going to enforce the law. You shouldn’t be coming to the Super Bowl unless you are a law-abiding American citizen.”

That means Cankles cannot attend.

In 2019 Cankles pledged to boost HIV spending, with the goal of ending the epidemic before 2030, and last year this federal initiative, Ending the HIV Epidemic, demonstrated progress.

Now the GOP wants deep cuts to HIV prevention and treatment funding, with Cankles’ proposed 2026 budget eliminating the CDC’s HIV-prevention division and seeking nearly $2 billion in HIV-related cuts in their federal health spending bill that would increase the total number of new HIV cases by more than 213,300 and the number of HIV-related deaths by over 10,600.

As they said back in the 80s, at least it’s killing all the right people.

KaroLying Leavitt trying to spin the Mormon shooter as a faith hating liberal, and making no mention that the shooter once wore a “Make Liberals Cry Again” Trump 2020 campaign shirt, that he had a Trump/Pence campaign sign on his fence, or that he and his family attended pro-Trump and QAnon/anti-vax demonstrations.

When her lips are moving, she’s either on her needs as Cankles’ Beck-and-Call-Girl or she’s lying.

Speaker Little Mike Johnson is not inclined to bring the House back into session until the Senate passes the House’s continuing resolution and so he has canceled the House session for next week:

“The House will come back into session and do its work as soon as Chuck Schumer allows us to reopen the government.”

Congress is in the hands of the GOP; the Senate is in the hands of the GOP; the White House is in the hands of the GOP; SCOTUS is in the hands of the GOP. And Little Mike Johnson wants you to believe the shutdown is the Democrats fault.

White House Press Secretary KaroLying Leavitt said Cankles is exploring plans to cut federal funding to “war torn” Portland due to what she said was a rise in “Antifa” related incidents. KaroLying is so stupid she doesn’t realize Antifa is not a group, but rather a political philosophy or movement; an anti-fascist movement.

Also she seems unaware that Portland is also home to a great many Republican voters who wonder why they’re being attacked by a bloated gasbag.

The Cankles Regime is preparing a plan that will make it harder for older Americans to qualify for Social Security disability payments, part of an overhaul of the federal safety net for poor, older and disabled people that could result in hundreds of thousands of people losing benefits.

But hey, as long as the rich get richer and we win the wars in Portland and Chicago; priorities.

On Saturday Judge Karin Immergut of the U.S. District Court in Oregon blocked Cankles from using Oregon National Guard soldiers in response to nightly protests at an Immigration and Customs Enforcement building in Portland and issued a temporary restraining order blocking the mobilization.

Immergut wrote that she expected a trial court to agree with the state’s contention that the president exceeded his constitutional authority in mobilizing federal troops for local work and likely violated the 10th Amendment.

Cankles restored $187 million of law enforcement funding to New York state last week, reversing a massive cut to the state’s historical budget levels. The cuts eliminated a staggering 86% of New York’s homeland security funding and were opposed by both Republican lawmakers and the state’s Democratic Governor Kathy Hochul who claimed they were “politically-motivated.”

It’s almost as if he doesn’t know what he’s doing; make the cuts, end the cuts.

This week Koncentration Kamp Kristi Noem was not allowed inside the Village of Broadview Municipal Building in Illinois to use the bathroom. And she whined:

“This is a public building. The Village of Broadview receives at least $1 million in federal funding every year. This is how JB Pritzker and his cronies treat our law enforcement. Absolutely shameful. This is what we have to put up with every single day. All we’re doing is getting criminals and terrorists and heroin and gang members off the streets to make families safer.”

Like the heroin dealers that were sleeping in their homes the other night when ICEstapo raided and threw mothers and children into the streets?

Fuck off, Fraulein.

Once again Cankles’ effort to curtail birthright citizenship was declared unconstitutional when a three-judge panel of the 1st US Circuit Court of Appeals in Boston upheld an injunction won by Democratic-led states and immigrant rights advocates that stopped Cankles’ executive order from taking effect.

In  July the 9th US Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco upheld a nationwide injunction blocking Cankles’ order from taking effect on the grounds that it violated the citizenship clause of the Constitution’s 14th Amendment.

Cankles’ now wants the appeal heard by SCOTUS.

An FBI agent was relieved of duty for declining to arrange a “perp walk” of the bureau’s former director, James Comey, in front of news media cameras after Comey was federally charged last month.

Comey was charged on September 25 with making false statements and obstructing a congressional investigation as part of Cankles’ Butt-Hurt Retribution Tour.

This is the Resistance at work; stand your ground.

A Chicago delivery guy has gone viral for yelling “F*ck Trump! I am not a citizen!” at ICE Agents, then narrowly escaping as about a dozen officers gave chase in full tactical gear. The agents are heard yelling, “Get him!” as they start running after the man who escaped on his bicycle.

US District Judge Royce Lamberth has ruled that the U.S. Agency for Global Media [AGM] cannot implement a reduction in force eliminating 532 jobs for full-time government employees.

Kari “Loser” Lake, the agency’s acting CEO, announced in late August that the job cuts would take effect Tuesday but the judge’s ruling preserves the status quo at the agency until he rules on a plaintiffs’ underlying motion to block the reduction in force.

Judge David Campbell of the Federal District Court in Arizona, who was temporarily assigned to handle the case in Nevada, has disqualified Sigal Chattah, that state’s top federal prosecutor from handling cases, a rebuke to Cankles’ attempts to circumvent federal appointment procedures put in place by Congress.

Campbell said that Chattah was “not validly serving as acting U.S. attorney” and that her involvement in cases “would be unlawful.”

Chattah is a Republican activist and a Cankles supporter who was previously a lawyer for the state Republican Party. She was also the party’s unsuccessful candidate for attorney general in 2022.

The Supreme Court has ruled that Federal Reserve Governor Lisa Cook can remain in her post pending oral arguments in January on whether Cankles has legal cause to fire her.

The court’s move is a blow to Cankles, who has repeatedly and unsuccessfully asked federal courts to allow him to terminate Cook from the Fed’s Board of Governors without delay.

Cankles has cited claims that Cook committed mortgage fraud—the same mortgage fraud committed by three members of his Junk Drawer who are still employed—as his reason for firing her.m

A pornographic blog linked to Virginia Lieutenant Governor candidate John Reid shared content from accounts that fetishized Nazism and sexual violence. Reid has denied ownership of the blog even though it was hosted on Tumblr under the name JRDeux, the same handle he uses on Instagram and TikTok.

Oh, and JRDeux deleted his blog right after the report came out.

Huh.

Vice President JD CouchF*cker Vance dismissed criticism of AI-generated videos that Cankles posted to social media of Representative Hakeem Jeffries in a mustache and sombrero that have characterized as racist.

Vance said Cankles was “joking” and “having a good time” because racism is fun.

Cankles is once again saying the Associated Press lost the case on the renaming of The Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America—it’s the Gulf of Mexico, by the way, and has been for almost 500 years.

Fact: No judge in the ongoing lawsuit said what Cankles claimed they did. First, a Cankles-appointed district court judge sided with the AP and issued a preliminary injunction against Cankles’ restrictions, calling them a violation of the First Amendment. Then, on appeal, two judges on a three-judge panel of the District of Columbia Circuit Court sided with Cankles and ended most of the injunction but these two judges, both Cankles-appointed conservatives, never declared that “the name is Gulf of America” nor that the AP’s decision to use “Gulf of Mexico” was “not appropriate.”

The full DC Circuit court subsequently declined to overrule the panel but also did not make any statements about the AP’s language decisions. And the lawsuit is not over; the appeals court has not yet heard oral arguments on the merits of the case.

PS It’s The Gulf of Mexico.

There’s a reason they call Eric ‘The Dumb One’ and here’s why:

“They came after me like I was a dog. They tried to impeach my father two times. You know, they went after him for a Russia hoax that did not exist, that was paid for by Hillary Clinton. The FBI and the DOJ spied on my father’s campaign. They de-platformed him. They weaponized every attorney general and every district attorney around the country. They indicted him 91 times, 34 times in a bogus trial in New York City. They posted his mugshot. He’s the most recognizable person in the world. They posted his mugshot even though they didn’t need to. It totally backfired on him. They gagged him over and over and over! They raided his home! They raided Mar-a-Lago! They tried to get him divorced! They tried to separate our family! They tried to go after our employees! They attacked us. They tried to bankrupt our company. They de-platformed us! They stripped every bank account away from me and the [Cankles] Organization that you can imagine.”

Someone is desperately trying to stay in the will.

Two insiders in the Department of Defense, one who works directly with Pete ‘DUI Hire’ Hegseth’s  office and the other indirectly, say that in the last few weeks Pull-Up Pete has been erupting in tirades, raging at staffers and obsessing about matters related to his security:

“There’s a manic quality about him. Or let me rephrase, an even more manic quality, which is really saying something.”

Hegseth insisted on pushing through the name change to the Department of War months earlier than his staff was ready, berating those who tried to delay the announcement. They also say he has had tirades in response to legal advisors’ and congressional members’ suggestions that the military’s recent killings of alleged Venezuelan narcotraffickers on boats in the Caribbean broke international law.

He’s just the guy you want overseeing the nation’s nuclear arsenal, right?

DOGE poster boy Edward “Big Balls” Coristine shared details of the carjacking that made headlines but one key detail differs from police reports. Coristine recalled being attacked at around 3AM:

“I was walking one of my friends back to her car and as we were walking to the car, there’s a group of 10 guys right across the street. And as we get to the car and she begins to fumble for the keys, they start shouting at us and really quickly I knew something was really off about the situation.”

And yet in a statement released on two days after the incident, authorities announced the arrests of two 15-year-olds, one male and one female, both from Hyattsville, Maryland who were charged with carjacking. Big Balls is more like No Balls.

But we have balls and we have voices and votes and the ability to use them …

Ain't That America VII

Well, what a week it's been in America … floods killed over a hundred people in Texas while the government twiddled … now a pair of GOPers are claiming Democrats control the weather … the Cult is real and they love being sent to one of Kristi’s Koncentration Kamps … TACO flipped and flopped on tariffs again … DUI hire Pete Hegseth overstepped after perhaps being over-served … and some good news from couple of spots, even from a Republican … The Felon in tights …

Under pressure from worried farmers and hotel owners, The Felon’s regime put on their Flip Flops to launch a program to streamline issuing visas for temporary, migrant workers to try to make sure fruits get picked, meat is packed and lodgings are cleaned.

I have a suggestion … create a pathway for citizenship to every immigrant and just round up and deport the criminals.

Multiple governors say they’re being increasingly pushed to scrounge for disaster recovery money without the support they traditionally rely on from the federal government. The Felon has the sole power to issue disaster declarations, but states are finding emergencies that would usually qualify for federal assistance are being slow-walked or denied in recent months.

Well, what do they expect? He’s busy helping the 1%.

As FEMA responds to the deadly flooding in Texas, one key resource is missing: FEMA leader. David Richardson, the agency’s acting administrator. He has not been to the site of one of the nation’s deadliest floods in this country in the past 25 years.

Former FEMA officials said Richardson’s absence raises concerns that Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem AKA Border Barbie AKA Dogkiller AKA Koncentration Kamp Kristi is controlling FEMA’s response.

The Felon announced plans to impose a 50% tariff on all goods from Brazil, in part due to the prosecution of former President Jair Bolsonaro over an alleged plot to remain in power after losing an election.

Criminals stick together.

The Felon is so dumb? How dumb is he? So dumb that he praised Liberian President Joseph Boakai for speaking “such good English.” Odd,. Cuz Liberia’s official language is … English … while The Felon’s is blabbering bull shit.

Immigrants being detained in federal holding rooms in Lower Manhattan have complained of being unable to bathe or change clothes, cramped conditions, sometimes being provided just one meal a day, and sleeping on concrete benches or the floor.

But they’re brown people so, yeah, the regime doesn’t care.

GOP Representative, and certified asshatted loon, Tim Burchett has cosponsored Marjorie Taylor Greene’s House bill that would ban supposed weather control by the Democrats.

Yes, that’s what they believe and, well, say it’s, true … could Democrats send a hurricane to Large Marge’s house and slide a tornado over Burchett’s home?

Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth did not inform the White House before he authorized a pause on weapons shipments to Ukraine, setting off a scramble inside the administration to understand why the halt was implemented and explain it to Congress and the Ukrainian government and the so-called president.

At a press conference, when asked who authorized the pause, the inept, confused, demented, hate-filled lump of gelatinous rotted flesh AKA The Felon, said:

“I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?”

Sounds like a well-oiled machine, doesn’t it?

The TACO is insisting ::: foot stomp head snap ::: that the August 1 tariff deadline set this week in letters to U.S. trading partners is firm and won’t change though it’s the opposite of what he said earlier in the week when he said the deadline was “firm but not 100% firm.”

Flabbier than his fat ass.

After the Big Billionaire Bill passed both the House and Senate, Wisconsin GOP Representative Derrick Van Orden responded to this Tweet:

“17 million people just lost health care. 18 million kids just lost school meals. 3 million Americans just lost food assistance.”

… with:

“YES!”

When they tell you who they are, believe them, and Van Orden has told you he is a goose-stepping fascist who works for The Felon and The Billionaire Class, but does nothing for We The People.

USDA Secretary Brooke Rollins wants all the immigrants removed from the fields across America and replaced with people on Medicaid.

So, if you’re looking for your Nana to take her to her chemo treatment, check the corn fields.

Arpineh Masihi, a devout MAGAt is being held in a detention center in the Mojave Desert and wants y’all to know that she still supports The Felon.

Masihi was born in Iran but has been in the US since she was three. She became a target for ICE over crimes committed 17 years ago, was arrested in June, and says this from her detention cell

“He’s doing the right thing because lots of these people don’t deserve to be here. I will support him until the day I die. He’s making America great again.”

And they say it’s not a cult. Good luck back in Iran, dear.

A federal judge has once again barred the regime from enforcing The Felon’s executive order limiting birthright citizenship.

US District Judge Joseph Laplante made the ruling after immigrant rights advocates implored him to grant class action status to a lawsuit they filed seeking to represent any babies whose citizenship status would be threatened by implementation of the regime’s racist directive.

One step forward …

North Carolina GOP Senator Thom Tillis has a warning for the regime as he finishes out his time in office:

“The president should know if there is anyone coming up for a nomination through any committee of my jurisdiction that excuse January 6 that they’re not going to get confirmed in my remaining tenure in the US Senate.”

Tillis is still angry about the violent events that unfolded after The Felon sent a mob of criminals, drug dealers and rapists to attack the US Capitol to protest the 2020 election results.

With little discussion, the Pittsburgh City Council unanimously passed three bills intended to provide further safeguards to LGBTQ+ citizens: the first bill prohibits the withholding or denial of elective medical care based on a person’s real or perceived gender identity or expression; the second bill aims to pre-emptively shield the LGBTQ community against being barred from society by future federal legislation; the third bill lessens the legal penalty for engaging in sex work from a misdemeanor to a summary offense.

Good on Pittsburgh.

Federal immigration agents would be banned from wearing most face coverings but be required to wear visible ID during public enforcement operations, according to a proposal from Democratic U.S. Senators Alex Padilla and Cory Booker.

If the ICEstapo is doing nothing wrong, then show yourselves, identify yourselves.

In a new documentary, Surviving Ohio State, survivors of sexual predator Dr. Richard Strauss say Ohio Republican Representative Jim Jordan knew about the sexual abuse the student-athletes suffered and did nothing about it.

Jordan declined to be interviewed for the documentary, but his name is frequently brought up by former Ohio State wrestlers and a referee.

Jordan knew and did nothing; he’s complicit.

And now for a laugh … The Felon was ridiculed last week after the White House posted an image of the gelatinous lump of flesh as Superman with the tagline:

“THE SYMBOL OF HOPE. TRUTH. JUSTICE. THE AMERICAN WAY. SUPERMAN [_____].”

Of course, people had words:

“Guess the Epstein list is your kryptonite, huh?”

“As a Trump voter, this is cringy as hell.”

“Just imagine the response if the Biden White House had posted something like this. But Trump is graded on some kind of never-seen-before curve and this craziness is normalized.”

The AI hilarity is right next to the real blubbering tool.

PS MAGAts are up in arms because the director of the new Superman film, James Gunn, keeps reminding them that Superman is an immigrant!

So there we have it, another week of madness and sadness and fascism and racism down, and another week closer to the midterms where you know what to do ...

The Funny Papers

Christopher Weyant, Clay Bennett, Ann Telnaes, Mike Luckovich, Jack Ohman, Lalo Alcaraz, Chris Britt, Marc Murphy, Adam Zyglis, Bill Bramhall, David Horsey, Ed Hall, Mike Peters, Gary Huck,