Bobservations

We’re in a bit of a fire warning stage here in South Carolina because of the heat and while Carlos and I were out running errands on Tuesday we must have seen four or five fire trucks racing down the roads and here’s what gets me …

PEOPLE DON’T GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!!

They speed up and maybe move slightly to the right but they keep driving and it pisses me off so I began a rant to Carlos about people not getting out of the way. As you know, my rants go on and on and on and how I think fire trucks should have cameras and any car that doesn’t get out of the way their license plate should be tagged and they should be fined. When I finished I looked at Carlos for his reaction.

Asleep.

“Are you sleeping???”

“No!”

“What did I say?”

“You were talking about the drivers.”

And so I guess he was awake but then I thought again …

“What about the drivers?”

“That they all drive too slow and brake too much.”

“And the fire trucks?”

“What fire trucks?”

Gotcha!

This Tale of Tuxedo is from January 2011 …

You know, what goes around........

Tuxedo was my feline caregiver when I was sick--with Carlos being my human nurse. He was sitting at my side, or rather, he would sit on me, leading me to think he was one of those Death Cats, waiting for me to, ahem crossover. Now, I know that all he wanted was for his Daddy to get better.

And I am getting better.

So, when Tux needed a little pampering, well, he got it. He curled up in a Afghan my mother made for me, and napped, while I periodically checked on him, and brought him snacks, and sat on him, well, by his side.

Here's to my Round-The-Clock Nurse, Tuxedo.

Ian Charleson [left] told the theater company he was recovering from sinus surgery when he was actually dying of AIDS and had just agreed to play Hamlet at the National Theatre. The part became available after Daniel Day-Lewis walked off the stage mid-run, collapsing during the scene where Hamlet meets his father's ghost; Day-Lewis later claimed he had seen his own ghost. So, Ian  Charleson took over, and outside a few close friends only the director, Richard Eyre, knew what it was costing him to stand up there.

He opened on 13 November 1989 and actor Ian McKellen was in the audience that night and so overwhelmed by Charleson’s Hamlet that gifted Charleson his own Best Actor award. But after that first night Charleson never appeared on a stage again. He died eight weeks later, on January 6, 1990 at age 40.

But this isn’t about his brilliant performance it was about what he did after he died, something nobody in Britain was doing in 1990: he left instructions that his cause of death, AIDS, be made public and his was the first show business death in the country openly attributed to AIDS.

A hero and an icon even in death.

American audiences know Charleson from Chariots of Fire, where he played Eric Liddell, the Scottish runner who wouldn't race on Sundays. And now Andrew Scott [right], an out gay actor and quite a handsome fella, is playing him now in Elsinore, the story of Charleson’s life and death, which opens in London in October and reaches US theaters in November.

I only found out the neighbors were having a party when the cake deliveries began showing up … I’m looking forward to my invitation.

I’m gagged … South Dakota ex-Governor and ex-Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi DogKiller Noem has unveiled a statue of herself.

Seriously. But the best part of all this was the influx of alternate Noem statues with her cross-dressing husband, or her love of plastic surgery, or her audition statue to play Freddy Krueger, or the one of her killing her dog.

The only one I couldn’t find was of Kristi on all fours taking it from behind by her married lover Corey Lewandowski.

Noem is said to be mulling over her future in politics but I think she’s better suited to statuary.

Recently, under orders from DUI Hire Pete Hegseth the Navy ended a 43-year contract with The Sewing Box, a Black-owned family business who made the Blue Angel uniforms. The last five-year contract with The Sewing Box paid out $400,000 to the business but rather sticking with a long-term arrangement Hegseth signed a new contract with another company and is paying them $1.69 million.

Sounds about white for a racist, misogynistic, transphobic drunken former Fox News talking head.

Taylor Fresh Foods (Taylor Farms) has issued a recall on 20 ready-to-eat products containing jalapeños due to potential Salmonella contamination. The recall follows a prior July voluntary recall of iceberg lettuce over Cyclospora concerns.

Boycott Taylor Farms until they can prove their products are safe.

It's not so much that Cankles snuck away in a catering container because of some threat that Iran was going to shoot the plane down; it's that he left the entire Air Force One crew and the innocent Press Pool behind as decoys while he crawled into a food truck.

He doesn't have a single moral fiber in his body though he does have an ass the size of a VW that had to be lubed with Hellman's Mayo to squeeze it into that food cart! 

Antonio Ortega is an international fashion model represented by top-tier agencies such as Wilhelmina, Next Management and Modelwerk; born in Mexico he is 6’1” tall with brilliant green eyes which seem to ask, Would You Hit It?

Why Is It ...

… that people don’t notice that I prefer hanging out in groups of three because I can go nonverbal and they can entertain each other while I look at a tree or something

… that people don’t seem to get it that me ignoring you is me being nice to you

… that as a child I wanted to be included in everything but as an adult I want y’all to stop asking me to go out

… that my other spirit animal is a racoon … because we have dark rings around our eyes? Or because we like to eat junk food? Because we’re a bit chubby but somewhat cute and possibly rabid? Or because we will fight you for no apparent reason?

… that people need to stop asking me to meet up; half my neighbors don’t even know I exist

… that people don’t realize that my only social skills are laughing when I shouldn’t, telling a joke in an awkward situation,  and saying “You, too” when the server tells me to enjoy my meal

… that adulting means using the phone flashlight more often than I ever thought possible

… that, while it’s actually more, my three dominant personalities are the one who talks to much, the one who doesn’t talk at all, and the one to talks to myself like I’m a full-on podcast.

… that when my boss comes up with a project and looks for volunteers and I shout “Not it,” he is not amused

… that my new diet is a lot of salads, like last night … mostly tomatoes and croutons; well, one big crouton covered in tomato sauce and cheese. It was a pizza, okay? I had a whole pizza

Bobservations

Carlos came to me this week and said he needed a picture as part of his work profile for a new translation group he’s joined. I told him to put on a nice shirt and I’d take a picture and help him upload it but he said:

“Don’t you already have pictures of me?”

“Of course I do … let’s look.”

And I opened a file on the computer.

“Here you are in a straw hat slurping a margarita on the beach. That’s a good one. Oh, here’s one of you kissing Ozzo. You wanna post that one? No!!! Wait!!! This is the best one … you on the balcony of a hotel we stayed in during a trip to Key West and you’re buck naked.”

I told him there were no work appropriate photos of him unless he’s working as a drunken, dog loving exotic dancer.

This Tales of Tuxedo is from October 2010 and includes an appearance from the late, great MaxGoldberg, who was Tuxedo’s bestest friend; it’s entitled Just for Giggles:

I saw this:

And then I saw this:

Coinkydink?

I don’t know what on Earth  he is looking at when the rear view, er, real view is coming from inside the house!

I never had to learn this lesson, I just think I always knew it, but the lesson is "Don’t act like an ass around Clint Eastwood."

Clint’s son, Scott, says his dad humbled Kevin Costner’s “big ego” on the set of “A Perfect World” in 1993 and how his dad remained “very calm” without “raising his voice ever.” Scott Eastwood explained that Costner was “sort of going through maybe … a rise to fame” at the time and “maybe [had] a big ego” and said Kevin wouldn’t come out of his trailer for some reason.

And so then Clint dismissed him from set—despite him being in that day’s scene—and instructed the crew to “send [Costner] home.” When Clint was reminded that his co-star was “in the scene,” he repeated his instruction. Scott then said:

“I guess they just went to Kevin and said, ‘Hey, you’re going to go home for the day.’ … He said, ‘What do you mean, I’m in the scene?’ [And they said], ‘Well, I guess you’re not anymore.'”

The next day, Costner was on set as planned.

If you’re more worried about a “socialist” in office than a pedophile or domestic abuser, I have questions. Most of them are variations of “what the fuck is wrong with you,” to be fair.

Just a heads up for those of you on the boycott … not only is Taylor Farms serving you Diarrhea Salads but they are using forced labor to pick the Poop Greens. See, they pay the Arizona Department of Corrections $4.75 an hour for prison labor of which just $1.50 an hour goes to the workers.

Prisons for Profit, Corporate Greed and Explosive Runs.

Yesterday, when Abdul El Sayed won the Democratic primary in Michigan his opponent Haley Stevens called him to concede and congratulate him on his victory and told others to do the same. Governor Gretchen Whitmer and Senator Gary Peters then called El Sayed to congratulate him and throw their support behind him.

In addition the entire team that supported Stevens is now lining up for El Sayed heading into the Midterms. That is the kind of unity we need; no grudges; no sitting out the election;  just the entire party pulling in the same direction.

That’s how you do a Blue Wave.

Vote Blue. Cast a Goddamned Vote! 

Michiel Francis Loonen is both a model and piano composer whose work bridges two worlds of expression. Together, these paths reflect his artistry: a pursuit of beauty, whether in front of the camera or at the keys of a piano so Would You Hit It?

Why Is It ...

… that when I noticed the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled I laughed at the irony, and then I laughed again at the word “irony”

… that people don’t know that if I was a Jedi there’s a 100% chance I would use the Force inappropriately

… that while I often know better than to do certain things but my curiosity was like “do it” and my bad decisions were already putting on their shoes

… that you need to know that my self worth doesn’t depend on your opinion of me mainly because I already checked with myself and I think I’m doing a fantastic job. The Board of Directors [me] has spoken.

… that y’all need to know my Five ways to Have a Good Day: 1] Drink Coffee; 2] Avoid People; 3] Read a book; D] Drink more Coffee; and 4] Keep avoiding people

… that I often need to ask the haters watching life if they are okay with the volume or if I should turn it up

… that the people who think they know me don’t see my 5AM runs, or see me choosing a salad over French fries, or doing yoga in a peaceful room, don’t realize it’s because I don’t do any of that

… that when I ask myself if I’m the problem we almost always say no

… that “naked hiking” is apparently done without GPS, no music and no distractions and yet no one bothered to tell me sooner

… that y’all need to know that I didn't survive Y2K, 9/11, Swine Flu, Bird Flu, multiple recessions, that time I woke up naked in a corn field, and COVID just to be taken out by diarrhea lettuce

Bobservations

This Carlos story needs a flashback because we dig deep …

When we first moved to Camden and purchased Casa Bob y Carlos, we asked Carlos’ Aunt Gloria to visit, and she did … in December when it’s frigid in Camden. And Gloria had only ever lived in Mexico City and Miami and San Juan, so the cold was not her thing. But we tried to make her comfortable and raised the heat while she was here; it got so hot in the house I was in T-shirt and shorts the whole time, but Gloria never felt warm. One day she opened the door to her room and shouted down the hallway:

“Please, boys, turn up the heat. I will happily pay the bill.”

Turn it up we did but she was never warm—which is why she never visited in winter again—but the joke was on us because when she left and I was cleaning the guest room I noticed the vents in her room, and in her bathroom, were all closed! Oy.

So, cut to this morning, and I turn on the AC at about 7:30. We keep the AC at 80-degrees because there are ceiling fans in every room and the house stays cool, but as I walked into the kitchen Carlos says:

“I’ll gladly pay the AC bill for some cool air.”

And I responded thusly:

“You picked the wrong morning to fuck with me.”

“What—"

“I got the most horrendous cramp in my foot at 3AM and couldn’t sleep the rest of the night. I got up to take an aspirin hoping that would ease the pain and hobbled into the kitchen to find … we had no aspirin or Tylenol or anything thing. So I lay in bed wincing and tossing and turning.”

“I thought I told you we needed Ty—”

“Nope, save that story, sister, because if you’d said we needed Tylenol we would have Tylenol.”

“Well, I also had a bad night’s sleep because when I came to bed at 11:30 your phone kept making that sound it makes when you plug the charger into it and I had to get up in the dark and search the room for your phone to unplug it and plug it back in and then try to get some sleep.”

“Did you get some sleep?”

“I did.”

“Well I didn’t get any sleep and so now you will be paying for that for the rest of your natural life.”

Well, at least until the end of the day.

This Tale of Tuxedo is from September 2010 and is entitled “Someone Has it Easy On Caturday...”

"While Carlos and I cleaned house and reorganized a closet … yes, we are that much fun....someone else took a snooze.

Lucky."

Oy, the punim on that cat!

Well, Suri Cruise has officially severed ties with her estranged dad, Tom Cruise, by officially changing her last name from Cruise to Noelle.

$$$cientology; destroying families everywhere.

Last week the Department of Defense released the names of the 18 servicemembers killed since the start of Cankles War for Profit and DUI Pete’s War for Ego. 

But then without a word the names of Lt. Tyler James Feehan, 25, Pvt. Isabella González, 19, Sgt. Michael Emmanuel Swinton, 30,  and Sgt. Ángel Rampersad, 28, were removed from the list of dead Americans because according to the Regime, since they died during a ceasefire their deaths are not war casualties.

Say their goddamned names. They died for this country!

Sophie Cunningham, basketball player, is the latest athlete to step up against trans women in sports saying she wants to protect children but, um, Sophie, you ignorant fool?

The NCAA president has said there are fewer than 10 openly transgender athletes out of 510,000 athletes yet this dominates headline.

Sophie and the rest of her ick, I mean, ilk might best want to stand up for the women and girls raped by the president and his friendly pedophile buddy.

The thoughts that cross my mind as sleep … we all know cats have excellent night vision; they can leap to the tops of closet shelves, climb atop a bookcase, roam the house all night long so …

Why do they step on my face in the middle of the night?

Cuz it’s a choice, right Rosita?

PS The look on Rosie's face clearly says, "Keep coming for me, buddy, and you'll find out what I step in right before walking across your face!"

In another shameless display of GOP and MAGAt hypocrisy and goose-stepping for their cult leader, think back in recent history when the Cult went mad that NYC had elected a Muslim mayor just 25 years after 9/11 and now they are literally handing nuclear weapons to Saudi Arabia, the country that raised the 9/11 attackers because Cankles got paid by the Saudis.

In all honesty I don’t think they’re declaring Mitch McConnel dead because he doesn’t have an unqualified sister to replace him.

Hubert Kacprowicz is a lot of things ... actor ... Biomedical engineer ... and Renaissance man; he's also blond, blue-eyed and tall, so Would You Hit It?

Why Is It ...

... that nobody remembers that before the internet we thought the cause of stupidity was the lack of access to information but now we know that wasn’t it.

… that I still don’t understand how people my age can have children. I am children.

… that my co-workers have yet to learn that I am two scoops of grumpy in a bowl of bitchy every single morning.

… that alcohol doesn’t solve your problems but then neither does milk so pour me a drink 

… that no one remembers that I talk a lot of smack for someone who tiptoes in the 5-foot end of the pool for fear I’ll drown.

… that everybody needs to know that I will separate glitter before I let your opinion of me stress me out.

… that I wake up everyday in a room-sized bed, and then I am gently lifted from the covers and dressed in a warm cozy sweater while my favorite foods are brought to me, and that I have no job and no bills and no responsibilities and suddenly I realize I am a chihuahua and I am filled with rage.

… that people often forget that while I am not a 10 at the beach I am a 10 at Walmart

… that people don’t know that I have reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

… that I get stuck thinking that soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish.

… that no one ever recognizes me in my Halloween costume? Is it because I go out as Emotionally Stable?

Bobservations

Oh the things we do for love …

Backstory; several years ago my father had knee replacement surgery and I was out in Oregon helping with his recovery. He told me one day over breakfast that the pain pills made him constipated and the laxatives weren’t working so I might have to give him an enema. Long story short; my father dropped his pants, bent over the bathtub, and I did the deed.

Why tell that story now? Carlos has been having some stomach issues and his doctor requested a, um, er, sample. So Tuesday morning he had to use a human litter box, sans litter of course, and then scoop the poop into three small bottles. And because of his eyesight I was the one scooping the poop … after wearing several pairs of gloves and a COVID mask and then bleaching my fingers.

Again, what we do for love.

This Tale of Tuxedo is from  June 2010 and is another Tuesday Tuxedo. He just loved basking in the sun on a windowsill but often looked like he was riding the luge in the winter Olympics!

Such a peaceful punim.

There are times when just a tease of some cakes is all you need … oh who am I kidding!

A reporter from The Atlantic recently asked Arizona Democrat Senator Mark Kelly if he thought the country was “ready to have a disabled first lady” should Kelly run for president. It was a stupid, rude, insensitive question which Kelly answered like this:

"In my opinion, we have a disabled president right now."

Kelly was defending his wife, former Congresswoman Gabby Giffords, who survived a 2011 assassination attempt that left her with speech difficulties and some paralysis.

That’s how it’s done.

Well, apparently the lettuce responsible for the explosive diarrhea outbreak came from a  company called Taylor Farms lettuce.

But then Taylor Farms parent company, Taylor Fresh Foods, met with FDA and White House officials to discuss the situation; of note is that Taylor Fresh Foods wrote a $1 million dollar check to Cankles’ MAGA Inc super PAC back in March 2025.

And now the FDA says the positive sample was a "false positive," even as CDC traceback data keeps pointing back to Taylor Farms. Sure, maybe it really was a lab error but when regulators change their story right after a closed-door meeting with the same company that funded Cankles’ PAC skepticism isn't paranoia, it's just paying attention.

I read on Facebook that the big boss at Taylor Fresh Foods, Bruce Taylor, should sit down and have a big salad of Taylor Farms lettuce and then tell us all again about how his product is okay.

I see a boycott coming …. 

Ohio GOP Senator Bernie Moreno has introduced the “Countering Atmospheric Nuisances Arising from Drifting Airborne Foreign Incendiary Residual Emissions Act” or the CANADA FIRE Act ordering sanctions, including a ban on U.S. government contracts with Canada because wildfire smoke from Canada is drifting over the United States.

I’m surprised he hasn’t filed a lawsuit against the wind.

And here was a little gift sent to me by a blogging angel … Savannah Marsh Mama. I will now be logging my Gay Agenda as I move through the world … equality, equality, drag queens and all love; oh, and brunch, of course!

xoxo

This here is 29-year-old Hungarian model and former professional tennis player Dan Zsolt and the question once again is Would You Hit It?