Bobservations

I do love a good text exchange with Carlos since he uses Siri and she has quite a time with his accent. Once he ended a text with “Gracias” and Siri translated it to “Gracious.”

The other morning the text exchange went like this:

Carlos: “Craig is coming over to paint the shoe border or whatever you call it and then he’s going to install it.”

Bob: “Okay.”

Bob: “And it’s shoe molding.”

Carlos: “Well, mowed your shoes.”

Bob: :That makes no sense.”

Bob: “For the love of god man, can you speak English.”

I feel like Lucy trying to understand Ricky!

This Tale of Tuxedo is from March 2010 and is entitled Tell Me....................

..........am I a bad parent because I gave my cat a leopard pillow?

Let me get this queer … if you pull the peeled paint out of a reflecting pool, you get arrested but if you smash windows, savagely beat officers at the Capitol Building, and smear your feces on the walls you get a pardon and perhaps a payout.

Oh, and if you tear down a government building without a permit … 

I don’t eat fast food; I have but I haven’t in years. So imagine my surprise when one day last week I found myself in line at McDonalds for no apparent reason …

This is American Policing in Black and White

BLACK AND UNARMED

Amadou Diallo 23, standing in front of his building, MURDERED by police, 41 bullets

Sean Bell 23, leaving his bachelor party, MURDERED by police, 50 bullets

LaQuan McDonald 17, walking away, MURDERED by police, 16 bullets

Jayland Walker 25, traffic stop, MURDERED by police, 90 bullets

WHITE AND ARMED

Vance Boelter 57, murdered 2 people, ARRESTED, 0 bullets

Dylan Roof 21, murdered 9 people, ARRESTED, 0 bullets

James Holmes 24, murdered 12 people, ARRESTED, 0 bullets

Payton Gendron 18, murdered 10 people, ARRESTED, 0 bullets

Tell me again, how race has nothing to do with it

Apparently there are some people calling the DC Reflecting Pool the Straight of Warm Ooze.

James Burrows once said that if Will & Grace made just one young kid less homophobic, then his whole career would have meant something. He died last week at 85 and I dare say his career meant something.

He didn't just direct an episode of Will & Grace here and there, he directed every single episode, putting two openly gay characters into millions of American living rooms when network TV still treated that as a gamble. And it was a gamble. When NBC executives complained that the pilot had too much gay content, Burrows shot back:

"If not here, then where?"

The show stayed exactly as it was. 

RIP Mr. Burrows

Aaron Shandel hails from South Africa and was discovered while catching waves in his hometown of Cape Town and if you caught him, Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

Last weekend we did a massive cleanup in the house after having the floors replaced; plus it was hot as literal Hell on Sunday so we got to stay inside with the AC!!

We each had our tasks and I took care of the fireplace, cleaning everything on the mantel, every on the hearth, the painting above the mantel, and the candles and candle-holder inside the fireplace. When I was done Carlos asked if I cleaned the fireplace; and I said, Yes, and he then asked:

“The mantel? The hearth? The painting? The tchotchkes on the mantel? The bricks? The candles and candle holder inside the fireplace?”

“The only thing I didn’t clean was the chimney because I am going to have it removed and shoved up your ass.”

Cleaning is cathartic.

PS That’s the new floor in the kitchen and the dining room; the dining room chairs and artwork are out of the room until the shoe-molding goes in.

This Tuxedo Tale is from February 2010 and entitled SNOWville, Day 2

I know we didn't have SNOWmageddon or a SNOWpocalypse, but this is big news for Smallville, er, SNOWville, as we usually get a one-day dusting of snow each year. Of course, everything came to a standstill; schools and businesses closed before the snow even fell, but it sure makes the town, and our house, look pretty.

Even better, this was Tuxedo's first experience with snow and, well, I'm not sure he liked it.

Oy, that punim!

Republicans have passed $70,000,000,000 for the ICEstapo and $0 to make your life more affordable. Think about that as election gets closer.

As a good citizen of Camden I made it my mission to follow this man all through the grocery store on suspicion of stealing watermelons by shoving then down his jeans.

I offered to do a strip search and check but apparently there was already a long line of volunteers.

You’re welcome.

Iran gets $350 billion from the US to fix what we destroyed in Cankles war and is keeping their nuclear program.

That was worth it!

PS And he’s still threatening more bombs for a war that has been over and won 38 times already.

In honor of Straight Pride we have highlighted of the states in red where heterosexuals have been persecuted with laws banning straight marriage and straight sex and straight people are forced into straight conversion therapy.

That’s all.

In 2015 Cankles ran on the promise of draining the swamp. In 2026 he decided to have the reflecting pool between the Lincoln Memorial and Washington Monument painted blue like a swimming pool. Trouble was the blue lining heated the water and filled the reflecting  pool with algae.

So, for $14 million of our money he actually created a swamp!

The average lifespan of a female screwworm fly is 10 to 30 days; once they lay eggs in an open wound on an animal they hatch and the maggots feed for 7 days before dropping to the ground, burrowing into the soil and emerging as adult flies.

So then, dearest GOP, tell me how can the first screwworm case detected in the US on day 498 of the Cankles Regime be Joe Biden’s fault?

I’ll wait …

French-born Rayan Ricci is a multi-hyphenate talent reshaping the space where fashion, identity, and storytelling intersect which is all very nice but Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

I’ve told y’all before about the woman from the Catholic Church who sometimes gives Carlos rides to interpretations if I’m working. Well, he and this woman, who I have dubbed his CarWife, have also started going for walks every so often when I’m at work and recently, another woman from the church has joined them. So, Tuesday morning over breakfast they began texting Carlos about walking on Wednesday or Thursday and he responded that he was open to it and then … these two women began texting so furiously in a text chain to one another and to Carlos that I thought I was sitting at a slot machine in Vegas during a huge payout!!

I’m glad he’s got some friends and gets out of the house while I’m working—most of his translations lately have been via phone or Zoom—but they need to simplify their texts!

Here’s a Tale of Tuxedo from January 2010 entitled, Thank You Nora!

One of my oldest, dearest friends, Nora, has a dog named Cotton that she loves like it was, well, anything but a dog. I get pictures of the dog, cards from the dog, calendars of the dog. You'd think it was a cat. Anyway, this year, for my birthday—and before you ask I am somewhere between forty and death—my old old OLD friend Nora sent me a stuffed toy dog that looks ::::gulp:::: just like her dog Cotton. 

Along with a picture of Cotton wishing me Happy Birthday.

So, naturally, I had to show her what a gorgeous animal like Tuxedo: The Most Beautiful Cat EVER!!! with a Thank You "card" looks like.

Thanks Nora, the cats love their new playtoy!!!

I have been having the best time with Hunter Biden on social media taking on the haters like he has zero fucks to give/ So here are a few things he’s posted of late, and responses to some people who have come for him or his family.

After a guy named Aaron Jones Tweeted that Hunter’s “whole family is a disgrace” Hunter replied:

“I see your profile picture. That’s Johnny Cash. My hero too. Arrested seven times. Smuggled 668 amphetamines across the Mexican border in 1965. Took every drug there was and drank like I did. Cheated on his first wife. Slept with more women than I ever did. Hit bottom in a cave in Tennessee in 1968 trying to crawl off and die. He spent the rest of his life singing for prisoners and addicts and the people the country threw away because he knew he was one of them.

That was the howl point of the Man in Black. He wore it for the poor and the beaten down. He wore it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime. He wore it for the ones who never heard of Jesus. He wore it for the addicted and the dying. He wore it as a standing witness that no one is past saving.

You picked his picture. You did not pick the message. Try listening to the words.”

Then a guy named Stefan Smith took on Hunter’s parents, claiming they were broker because no big offers came after Joe left the White House so they had to write books to settle scores, and Hunter replied:

“You caught them. Mom and Dad were going to sell bibles and cell phones, golden sneakers and NFTs, Chinese watches and cologne but wouldn’t you know someone beat them to the punch. They were left with only one choice: write two books like every former First Lady and President has done in modern history.”

And just to make it clear, Hunter posted this:

“So let me get this straight.

Jake Tapper is focused on attacking my Mom.

Jared and Ivanka are building a privte island paradise on Albanian protected land.

Don Jr married the daughter of Epstein’s banker, and a startup his fund backs just got a record $620M Pentagon loan.

Eric is taking an Israeli drone company public for $1.5B in the middle of a war with Iran that nobody wanted.

And I know: “What about the paintings Hunter?”

Please.”

And then he posted this:

“Things most Americans agree on:

Groceries cost too much.

Tariffs suck and make no sense.

Congress and Presidents shouldn't trade stocks.

The debt is a mess.

The border should be secure, but legal immigration is good.

Endless wars are stupid, especially ones that nobody wants and have never been explained.

Americans are exhausted.

Al is like my new best friend that also might be trying to take my job, my ability to think for myself, and my humanity in the process. Yo like love you, but WTF, but l still love you.

Diversity is actually awesome! The opposite is boring AF.

Canadians are super fucking cool.

Mexicans are chill.

Putin isn't a good guy looking out for America's best interest.

Rocky IV and Miracle are great movies.

Good neighbors are a blessing.

Freedom of religion and coexistence without having to blow each other up is probably a good idea.

We all question, are we alone in the universe?

We all fuck up along the way.

Epstein didn't hang himself.

The Trumps and Epstein were best friends for decades. It's like Bert trying to tell us Ernie was just an acquaintance in the same social scene on Sesame Street back in the day.

The Cowboys suck. Go Birds!

Things we're told to fight about:

Me.

Laptop.

Vaccines.

Transgenders in sports.

Pronouns.

That's the joke.

-Hunter Biden”

Hunter is the weapon the Democrats need to learn from as they take on the criminal in the White House and the criminals in the GOP.

And since we mentioned Jared and Ivanka’s “private island,” here’s an update I read on Bluesky:

“Albania has frozen the assets of the Trump/Kushner/Qatari project now under a corruption investigation by Albanias SPAK (Struktura e Posaçme Kundër Korrupsionit dhe Krimit të Organizuar) Albania’s independent anti-corruption and organized crime prosecution office.

Poor Ivanka was working so hard on a color pallet and Pinterest Page “Island Submarine Base, Coachella, Fashion Week, Supervillain Lair,” all that work on hold. Looks like she’ll have to go back to doing Marie Antoinette cosplay and posting selfies of her living her best life. Jared has no doubt returned to his basement to pull the wings off butterflies.”

Snap.

And speaking of pigs, Georgia Superior Court Judge William McClain sentenced Jose Torres and Kayla Norton to 20 years and 15 years in prison for shouting racial slurs and threatening black adults and children at a child's birthday party in 2015.

Torres and Norton were members of a group of Confederate flag supporters, many of whom belonged to the group known as Respect the Flag. For two days, this group of bigots drove around in pickups waving Confederate flags and shouting slurs at black families in counties outside Atlanta.

In Douglasville, these morons yelled racial slurs at the birthday party's attendees as they drove by; Torres threatened to kill the people at the party with a shotgun Norton had loaded and retrieved from his truck.

The couple faces probation after serving their prison time and are both banished from Douglas County.

Both Torres and Norton broke down in tears at their sentencing.

Sorry, not sorry. Enjoy prison and I hope you serve all of your time.

Now I need some Matheus Riehl to cleanse my palate … Matheus is a professional Brazilian male model, smolderingly hot and so, Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

So this is about the Absentminded Professor Carlos AKA The Chocoholic and how he makes me laugh.

See, the other night he asked if I wanted some hot chocolate and I said sure. So he sets about making it but then calls me to the kitchen because he says we’re out of chocolate. I say we can’t be out because there’s an unopened box in the cupboard and another box with a little bit of chocolate left inside.

“I only have the one with very little chocolate.”

“Well, the full box was under the open box the other day.”

“All I have is the open box.”

So I go into the kitchen and look up on the shelf where the cocoa powder goes and there’s none there. And then Carlos holds up the open box and says:

“This is all we have.”

“Yesterday there was an unopened box and an open box on that same shelf. Are you sure you didn’t use–”

And my eyes drop down to the counter where a pristine unopened box of cocoa powder sits, waiting to be used in hot chocolate and I point it out to him.

“You’re gonna write about this on your blog, right?”

“No, sweetie pie, I would never—”

Let’s keep this our secret.

From December 2009, this is Tuxedo Sunday, with that handsome boy posing on the bed in the guestroom.

He did love a camera pointed his way …

As we start Pride Month here are a few reminders before anyone rants …

Veterans and members of the Military get two months … May and November.

Straight Pride isn’t a thing because straight people were never oppressed, refused legal rights, or murdered for being straight.

Trans men are men, and trans women are women.

Your religion is meant to guide you, not everyone else.

No one is forcing you to attend Pride events; it’s not a hostage situation so if you don’t want to go, don’t go. Just mind your own business.

Carry on …

Minneapolis law enforcement authorities, along with the Texas Rangers, apprehended ICEstapo agent Christian Castro last week and arrested him for shooting an INNOCENT Venezuelan immigrant in Minneapolis in January.

As ICEstapo agents do, Castro lied about the shooting then fled Minnesota for Texas. He now faces four felony charges of aggravated assault and one count of falsely reporting a crime.

I hope they lock him up in one of their detention centers for life and I hope they get him on state charges so Cankles cannot pardon him or pay him off from the slush fund.

Former Oklahoma Republican Assistant District Attorney Kevin Etherington, who served Payne and Logan counties, was sentenced to 20 years in prison for child pornography charges.

Court documents state investigators seized three SD cards, three flash drives and a laptop from Etherington’s home with over 153 photos and videos of girls under 9 years old being abused in a Google Drive that belonged to Etherington.

NOT TRANSGENDER!! 

NOT A DRAG QUEEN!! 

NOT AN IMMIGRANT!!

The DC Circuit Court of Appeals dealt Cankles and DUI-hire Hegseth a defeat on the first day of Pride Month when they ruled that kicking out trans troops is unconstitutional and driven only by fear and hatred.

Happy Pride!!

Meanwhile, while many of us celebrate Pride, in Arkansas where it’s still the 1950s Governor Sarah Huckleberry Sanders has declared June to be “Fidelity Month” in her state, a time to “encourage renewed dedication to virtue, commitment, responsibility and shared moral foundations.”

This is rich coming from a former Cankles Press Secretary who propped up an adjudicated rapist, sexual predator, and accused child molester with three marriages and countless affairs in his lifetime.

You cannot make this shiz up.

Award-winning broadcaster Scott Pelley spent nearly four decades at CBS News, reported from war zones, covered presidents, anchored the network’s evening newscast, and became one of the defining faces of 60 Minutes. 

CBS News terminated Pelley this week after he publicly accused Bari Weiss, the network’s editor-in-chief, of "murdering" 60 Minutes and questioned the qualifications of newly installed executive producer Nick Bilton.

Bye CBS.

Just a thought … you don’t get four cognitive tests in eighteen months unless the doctors are monitoring your dementia.

Roche Kilian is an actor, a model, a social media influencer, and says he’s only here to motivate, inspire and lead by example … for example, Would You Hit It?