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Gigi Hadid has bangs, y’all.

That’s the headline after Hadid broke up with Zayn Malik, with whom she shares a daughter, Khai, after Zayn ALLEGEDLY physically and verbally assaulted Gigi’s mother, Yolanda Hadid, during an argument in September.

But Gigi got bangs!

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After news broke that Funny Girl would return to Broadway and that  Beanie Feldstein [left]—who played Monica Lewinsky in Impeachment: American Crime Story—will star as Fanny Brice, one former Glee star, Lea Michele [right] , was said to be devastated.

You see, Ryan Murphy, who produced Glee and, ironically, Impeachment: American Crime Story, wanted to buy the rights to Funny Girl for Michele, but his deal fell through, and the new producing team probably heard stories about Michele’s horrible reputation and went with Feldstein, after which Lea, trying to save her already horrid reputation, rather than sh*tting in Feldstein’s ‘Monica’ beret—something she wanted to do to a Glee extra—Michele replied to Beanie’s Instagram post about her new gig:

“Yes! YOU are the greatest star! This is going to be epic!” 

Actually, my guess is that Lea had someone else type that while she was screaming and tearing her hair out. Anyway, more time has passed and Lea  wants y’all to know that she is still super happy about Beanie getting the role; it’s fine, y’all, really. And we know this because Lea said so in a podcast:

“There’s been so much talk about me coming to Broadway—and not coming to Broadway! Listen, I am so unbelievably excited to see Funny Girl on Broadway. I cannot wait. I had drinks with [director] Michael [Mayer] the other day, and I just think that Beanie is an incredible choice for the production, and I think it’s going to be so wonderful. I can’t wait to see Jane [Lynch] in it as well. I think that a lot of people always put me in the lane with Funny Girl because, of course, I love the show and the music. But I did get to do a lot of it on Glee.”

Wow, the thirst is real; first she does “drinks” with the director, and then of course mentions how many people thought she should play Fanny and how many times she’s sung the role. And then she adds:

“There were so many shows and so many roles that I would love to play, and I’m so grateful that Broadway is back now. But for me to come back to Broadway… Maybe I am coming back to Broadway!”

If I were Beanie I’d be looking for marbles on the stairs or baby oil drizzled on the stage because Lea is coming to Broadway … though she’ll need a ticket.

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Well well well … 40-year-old Paris Hilton finally tied a man down.

Last week she married 40-year-old Carter Reum during a three-day-wedding that was filmed for a reality show so that neither Paris nor Carter had to actually pay for it. And that might be a good thing because now we know that Carter has a secret nine-year-old daughter that he takes care of financially, though he’s only seen her once in her life.

And Paris hopes to have children with this man? Good luck.

Sidenote: he looks like a terrible father in that photo.

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Sorry not sorry, but as Erika Jayne and soon-to-be ex-husband Tom Girardi are still fighting the We Stole From Burn Victims and Orphans to Fund Our Lavish Lifestyle scenario, comes word that their home they are selling has now been knocked down in price …again.

The Pasadena mansion hit the market earlier this year for $13 million but as no one put an offer on the place, the price was dropped two months later to $11.5 million, then dropped again to $9.98 million, and has been dropped again, down 37% to from the original price to just $8 million.

And is still sitting empty.

Sorry, not sorry.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Yeah, I watch the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, sue me. But it’s good reality—if there is such a thing—about people with money acting the fool, and some senseless drama and hypocrisy.

Case in point: Lisa Rinna is a “housewife” and her daughter, nineteen-year-old Amelia Hamlin—whose father is Harry Hamlin—is dating Kardastrophe Kastoff Scott Disick, who is eighteen years older than Amelia, and Harry doesn’t like it. Trouble is, Harry Hamlin, at age twenty-two, began a romance with actress Ursula Andress, who was fourteen years his senior, and they had a son, Dimitri, who is now forty-one.

History repeats Harry, and, um, well, since you have some years on me, maybe you could be my Zaddy? I mean, I still remember that steamy kiss you shared with Michael Ontkean  in Making Love.

Just sayin’. Call me.

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Keeping the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills theme going for a minute, Rinna’s fellow “housewife,” Erika Jayne, is now discussing the ALLEGATIONS that her split from super-lawyer Tom Girardi was faked to save some coins. In fact, a class-action lawsuit was filed against the Girardi’s in December 2020 claiming their divorce was “simply a sham attempt to fraudulently protect [their] money from those that seek to collect on debts owed by Tom and his law firm.”

More recently, court documents accuse Erika Jayne of refusing to turn over her bank records to the bankruptcy trustee investigating Girardi’s assets, who say Jayne used her “glam” lifestyle to conceal assets.

Look, as a watcher of the show here’s what I know: the entire time Jayne has been on the show, she’s sung the praises of Tom Girardi, even saying their age difference meant nothing in their marriage and that they were happy and in love and blah blah blah lies. But then, from Erika’s own mouth we learned that on election day 2020, she drove Tom to work, kissed him, said she loved him, then went back to the manse, where the moving truck she’d hired was being filled with her “stuff” which was taken to a small home she’d already rented in Beverly Hills. And then she called the press to announce her filing for divorce … hours after telling her husband she loved him.

Sure sounds like she had planned the getaway for a while, you know, just in case someone decided to sue her husband and come for her coins.

Shady Jayne.

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Pop icon Tiffany, age forty-nine, was an 80s pop icon, who toured shopping malls to perform her hits ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’ before she disappeared.

Well, y’all, Tiffany’s back, though thankfully not with new music. Nope, Tiff has written her memoirs and has let it be known that she wants Julia Roberts to play her in the movie of her life because she’s a “fabulous red head” too.

After her music career fizzled, Tiffany posed in Playboy and did the reality show rounds, like ‘Celebrity Fit Club’ and the Australian version of ‘I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!’, as well as starring in several films such as ‘Necrosis’ and ‘Mega Python vs. Gatoroid’.

Yeah, this is totally a Julia Roberts role, but I don’t think she’s answering her phone.

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Speaking of delusional people … Jennifer Lopez is loving her life right now and wants everyone to know about it … including A-Rod, the love of her life … for four years. JLo says:

“I’m super happy. I know people are always wondering, ‘How are you? What’s going on? Are you okay?’ This is it. I’ve never been better. I want my people who care about me … to know that I’ve really gotten to a place in my life where I’m great on my own.”

On her own? Um, Jen? Honey? You literally jumped from A-Rod‘s sheets to Ben Affleck’s house in a matter of weeks, so is the “alone’ you speak of in hours or minutes? And do you realize that the message you are sending to your daughter is that jumping from man-to-man is the thing to do, and the message you are sending to your son is that women will dump you and hook up almost immediately with someone else?

If you want us to believe that life is better on your own, try being on your own.

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Meanwhile, back to Erika Jayne, who wants y’all to know that since she left Tom Girardi, she’s had to cut back on her spending. She was forced to rent a $7,500 a month Beverly Hills home with just 3 bedrooms, 2 baths and a pool; she was forced to sell a bunch of her designer clothes and shoes because she had no space in her new tinier home; and she was forced to give up her Lamborghini for a brand-new Range Rover.

Dear goddess, I need to get a GoFundMe working. But the good news is that Erika Jayne, who swears up and down to anyone who’ll listen that she knew nothing about Girardi’s ALLEGED crimes, is getting a judicial smackdown. A judge in one of Girardi’s lawsuits has ruled that ex-clients, and victims of Girardi’s embezzlement victims can sue Erika to collect their stolen $11 million.

More bad news for Erika: she’s been dropped as a model for Rihanna’s lingerie line Savage x Fenty because, ALLEGEDLY, RiRi didn’t like the headlines about one of her models stealing from orphans and burn victims. Sorry, not sorry; Erika has been flaunting her wealth and her spending habits for years on RHoBH and now is playing the innocent, ignorant victim?

Sayonara Beverly Hills house and Range Rover. Hello Escondido and Hyundai!!

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Odd, the timing, but ALLEGEDLY Tom Girardi, who is being sued for embezzling millions in settlement payments to the family of victims of an air disaster, is claiming he has health issues.

Sorry, grifter, not sorry. Attorneys for the estranged husband of reality “star” Erika Jayne say Girardi suffered a “serious illness” in recent months for which he needed to be hospitalized. The documents further claim that Girardi “couched everything” related to his ongoing case due to his illness, which caused him to be away from his law firm, and that Girardi’s hospitalization was the “mistake” that caused some families to not be paid in full.

Oh, the sin of ‘I was sick’? Bull shiz. Erika needed more ugly couture, and you’d do anything to have a Barbie doll on your arm.

PS In addition the air disaster suit, Girardi is also being sued by Wells Fargo Financial Services for ALLEGEDLY breaching a written agreement with the bank. And his law firm partner, Robert Keese, is suing to dissolve their law firm; and Keese, joined by Robert Finnerty and Jill O’Callahan, ALLEGES Girardi never paid them the approximately $315,000 in income from the partnership, claiming he took the money “for his own personal gain”, AKA Erika Jayne’s shoe closet, I’m guessing.

Again, sorry not sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Grifter.

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When last we left my arch-enemy Naomi Campbell, she was trying to steal my sequined thunder at a holiday party. But, from the looks of things, that may have been the last time Naomi was fierce.

You see, before lockdown, before social distancing, before masks, before we were using the term COVID-19, Naomi knew it was gonna get real, and she set about protecting what she values most: herself. Last March, Naomi began wearing …wait for it, it’s so fashion WTF … a head-to-toe hazmat suit. And she’s still wearing them—except to that damned party—and buying in bulk from Amazon:

“I bought [the hazmat suits] in bulk and I bought them on subscription, so they keep coming. There was one point when my subscription hadn’t come because they’d run out, and I panicked, even though I wasn’t going anywhere.”

So, she has closets full of hazmat couture, but she doesn’t go anywhere? Maybe that’s because after she began walking around London dressed like an extra from Contagion, people thought she was being selfish:

“It was funny because when I first wore one people were like, ‘She should give that to the hospital. Why’s she stealing?’ They were acting like I was stealing supplies from the hospital … So, I started answering back, saying, ‘I got it on Amazon! I got it on Amazon!’ I bought it fair and square on the internet.”

But, Naomi, darrrrrrrrrrrrling. If you aren’t going anywhere, and the hazmat suits keep coming, you could polish up your image by donating the unused ones, you know.

DUCK! Here comes a phone!

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I never watched Heroes when it was on, though I did have my gaydar piqued at the arrival of not-quite-out-all-the-way, soon to be Husband-In-My-Head, Zachary Quinto, but I have learned that it wasn’t always the most diverse place to work. The show ALLEGEDLY fired many actors of color during its first few seasons, and Leonard Roberts was one of those actors. He played DL Hawkins, who was married to white actress Ali Larter’s character, and now he’s spilling the tea, saying he was let go because Larter is a racist.

He says his character was supposed to be introduced in the pilot, but:

“After the show was picked up to series, I learned my character had been removed from the pilot and would be introduced in the second episode. I briefly wondered if Black folks in the TV game suffered the same fate as our counterparts in pre-Jordan Peele horror films, and were the first to go upon a new show’s pickup.”

Then came the photo shoot for ads touting the show, when the three lone actors of color were, as Roberts says, “relegated to the back and sides of photo after photo because, we were told, we were ‘tall’.” He was then told his character wouldn’t be introduced in the second episode after all, but he’d make his debut by episode 5 …or 6. And then came Ali Larter. As episode 6 began filming, his character, D.L. Hawkins, was in an interracial marriage with Niki Sanders [Ali Larter], and Larter took issue with a scene involving intimacy:

“[During] the staging of a bedroom scene, [Larter] took umbrage with the level of intimacy being suggested between our characters. … Our director asked if she was willing to lower the straps of the top … and expose her bare shoulders only above the sheet… [Larter] refused … and I was instantly aware of the tension on the set. … [Larter] insisted she was … being asked to remove her top completely, and rehearsal was cut. She then demanded a meeting with [the director] Greg Beeman and the producers who were on set and proceeded to have an intense and loud conversation in which she expressed she had never been so disrespected—as an actress, a woman or a human being.”

But Roberts says that Larter had already shot a love scene with white actor Adrian Pasdar and had no issues with being asked to appear naked onscreen. He also talked of the promises from producers that his job was secure for the second season, only to find himself unemployed as the season ended. He asked for a sit down with producers who told him his firing was due to “the Ali Larter situation” and said they couldn’t figure out a way to include his character in the show if Larter didn’t like him.

Now, while Roberts clearly is no fan of Larter, he’s placing most of the blame on the higher-ups for allowing Larter’s ALLEGED views to drive the show and drive him off the show. Still as soon as his piece came out in Variety, Larter spewed this:

“I am deeply saddened to hear about Leonard Roberts’ experience on Heroes and I am heartbroken reading his perception of our relationship, which absolutely doesn’t match my memory nor experience on the show. I respect Leonard as an artist and I applaud him or anyone using their voice and platform. I am truly sorry for any role I may have played in his painful experience during that time and I wish him and his family the very best.” 

She’s sorry he thinks she’s racist, but she doesn’t remember being a racist, but if she was being racist, she certainly didn’t mean it.

Uh huh.

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Well, to cleanse that story from my mind, here’s this: Jeff Bezos, owner of Amazon and some 92% of the entire planet, has been dragged during the pandemic for forcing his employees to work, and for pocketing millions and millions during the pandemic as everyone shops from home, and keeping most of those coins in his pockets.

And it just got a little worse because Jeff’s ex-wife, MacKenzie Scott, who took half his fortune in the divorce, keeps giving money away, while he hoards it. MacKenzie, worth an estimated $60B, has given away another $4B last month, following the $2B she gave away in July.

And while she is currently listed as the 18th richest person in the world, she seems to be making good on her post-divorce and post-settlement promise to give away all her wealth “until the safe is empty.” And with this latest giveaway—to financial service providers for under-resourced communities, education for marginalized and underserved individuals, civil rights advocacy groups, legal defense funds that take on institutional discrimination, local chapters of Goodwill, Meals on Wheels, YMCA and United Way; the NAACP; Global Fund for Women; and ACE [Access to Capital for Entrepreneurs], which provides affordable loans to underserved small businesses—she also took her ex-husband to task, in saying:

“This pandemic has been a wrecking ball in the lives of Americans already struggling. Economic losses and health outcomes alike have been worse for women, for people of color, and for people living in poverty. Meanwhile, it has substantially increased the wealth of billionaires.”

Sure, it’s a drop in the bucket considering her Amazon stocks have soared this year, but when we all decide to eat the rich, maybe we’ll just nibble on her after we pick clean the bones of Jeff.

Just sayin’.

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That wacky Tara Reid. After last week’s post about her begging Nicole Kidman to co-star with her in some piece of schlock, she’s now trying to walk back the story.

Now Tara says she doesn’t “think” she pitched Nicole Kidman a job on Instagram. I think Tara should have stopped after saying, “I don’t think.” But now she’s crawled out from whatever fog she lives in to tell the “Access All Areas” radio show that she isn’t completely sure she was the one who left the message:

“I don’t think I did, because I think I’m not the only one who controls my Instagram. So, there’s a couple of people [who] do it. Do you know what I mean?”

Yeah, I’ve heard that, but I think you’d know what you posted and what your minion, AKA  the homeless guy who lives next door to the Starbucks dumpster on Highlands posted. But then Reid goes on to say that she isn’t sure she’s heard from Kidman yet:

“I haven’t read anything yet on private messages, so I don’t think so. So who knows?”

Oh honey, we all know.

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When last we heard about Erika [Jayne] Girardi’s split from 81-year-old husband Tom Girardi, we were told make it was a fake divorce to hide assets Tom was embezzling from a lawsuit, and how badly Erika needs all the coins she can grab because she’s expen$ive.

And it gets messier. The 49-year-old member of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills filed for divorce  a month ago, she and Tom have no children and there is no pre-nup. There were rumors of affairs, living separate lives, and major financial problems that stemmed from Tom’s many lawsuits, and then this:

Tom responded to Erika’s divorce filing a couple of weeks ago and requested to terminate the court’s ability to award spousal support to Erika and he demanded that she pay his attorney fees! Erika had requested spousal support in her original November 2nd filing, and also asked that the courts block Tom from requesting spousal support from her.

From her? What does she have exactly, other than some hooker heels, tons of hideous wigs and the most atrocious ALLEGEDLY couture wardrobe ever seen?

I am so ready for the next season of RHoBh because last season Erika, who shares little of her personal life on the show, was obsessed with getting Denise Richards to reveal every intimate detail of her life, including an ALLEGED with Brandi Glanville. 

Karma is a bitch, Erika, so let’s see how much you share of prenups and cheating and embezzling.

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Wendy Williams continues to make friends everywhere, with her latest target being living legend, Dionne Warwick. While talking about Warwick on her show, Wendy brought up an old marijuana charge against Dionne and said she thought Warwick might still be lighting up; Dionne then took to Twitter to demand that Wendy keep her name out of her mouth, but you know Williams.

She went back on TV and claims that Warwick hates her, but called her “a beautiful woman”, saying:

“She doesn’t like me though, I know she doesn’t like me. She’s been here. She’s a friend to the show. She’s a friend to the show ’cause she has something to promote and we’re the social influencers and she’s smart … But, once she gets off the show, you know she’s probably like, “Bitch.” It’s okay, Ms. Warwick, it’s okay.”

First off, Wendy, she’s one of many people who don’t like you; now, back to snark: Wendy claimed it’s Dionne’s niece, Brittani, who comes up with Dionne’s Tweets, and then suggested she does so because Dionne gets so high that she can’t work the social media. And that’s when she reminded everyone of that 2002 arrest where Dionne was caught with weed:

“I totally believe that she is doing her own tweeting, but I think that Brittani is her right hand. After Aunt Dionne does what she wants, after midnight, maybe after some bud… Well, you remember a few years ago, Aunt Dionne was stopped at the Miami airport trying to get back to Jersey and … TSA stopped Aunt Dionne and opened up a lipstick tube and found four, excuse me, 11 pre-rolled joints. Oh yeah … she’s still [smoking weed]. After midnight, a little bud, a little Chardonnay.”

Odd that Wendy, who has publicly had her own years and years of substance abuse issues, would sink that low. Well, not odd at all, because that’s Wendy Williams: low.

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Now, before y’all think I’ve lost my mind, this story is true: Saved By The Bell’s Mario Lopez will be playing … wait for it … Colonel Sanders, of KFC fame, in a movie for Lifetime.

I know! Luckily, it’s a 15-minute holiday romance murder movie called A Recipe for Seduction that centers around Colonel Harland Sanders as the main love interest in what they call a “Lifetime Original Mini-Movie Presented by Kentucky Fried Chicken.” The official synopsis on Lifetime’s website says:

“As the holidays near, an heiress [played by Bosch alum Justene Alpert] contends with the affections of a suitor handpicked by her mother. When the handsome chef arrives with his secret recipe and a dream, he sets in motion a series of events that unravel the mother’s plans.”

Secret recipe and a dream? Get ready for a slew of Finger Lickin’ Good jokes when the movie “premieres” December 13^th … at noon.

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Tara Reid, best known for global phenomenon Sharknado, baring her breast on a chilly red carpet and not knowing it was out, and a series of drunk in public encounters, really has chutzpah. She recently reached out to a fellow celebrity on social media to ask them to appear in a film with her. And who did the amazingly talented and utterly, unfairly Oscar snubbed Reid want to be her co-star?

Nicole Kidman. Oscar winner Nicole Kidman.

Reid reached out to Kidman on her Instagram page to, ahem, ask Kidman to join Reid in her next film project, Masha’s Mushroom, a psychological thriller about a drugged-filled child’s birthday party.

Seriously. Reid saw a photo of Kidman lounging on a terrace in NYC saying how much she loves the city, and commented:

“You are truly amazing in everything you do. I’ve b en [sic] a huge fan forever. Hopefully one day we can work together soon. I’m producing a movie Masha’s Mushroom it staring [sic] Vivica Fox, Billy Zane, Beverly Deangelo [sic], myself Tara Reid, Sade and others it truly an amazing script. I would love for you to read it. Shoreline and Universal are doing it. It’s a franchise of 5 films. If you follow me so I can tell you more. Kindly, Tara.”

I don’t know if I’m more stunned that Tara-effing-Reid thinks Nicole-effing-Kidman would accept a film role via Instagram, or that Tara Reid can’t string together a few simple sentences.

And ending with a beg for an Instagram follow? Oh Tara, just when I thought you couldn’t sink lower, you found the hatch to the subbasement, moved down there, and then found that hideous wig.

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Last summer Kelly Clarkson filed for divorce from Brandon Blackstock and, at first, it seemed like another victim of the pandemic. But then came rumors that Blackstock might be a cheater, and Kelly wasn’t having it. But, whether it was Kelly’s wholesome image, or her jobs as talk-show host or Voice coach, or maybe the fact that the rumors weren’t true, the gossip died away.

This week, though, it turned a little ugly after an LA court gave Kelly primary physical custody of their two children, saying she’s the one providing emotional and financial  stability,  and noted that Kelly and Brandon are having “co-parenting problems” at the moment.

But now it looks like Or Brandon is having “coins problems.” He is now is seeking spousal and child support from Kelly even though, in court, Kelly offered to pay all of the children’s expenses. But Blackstock wants $135,000 in child support and $301,000 in spousal support per month. That adds up to $5.2M per year. Oh, and he also wants all his legal fees paid by Kelly which amounts to over $2M because he needs seven attorneys to represent him.

All this may be because Kelly was given primary custody, while Blackstock wanted the children to go “back and forth” from Los Angeles to Montana—where he lives—but the court found that the children “have not resided in Montana” and said Blackstock must travel to L.A. to see the children at Clarkson’s home for “visitation and parenting time.”

And then came the coin beg.

Let’s see, who to side with: America’s sweetheart who has always and only wanted to protect her children. Or Blackstock, who didn’t get custody, won’t have to pay a dime in child support, but uses his kids for coins.

Yeah.

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A few weeks ago, we learned that Erika “Erika Jayne” Girardi and her husband, Tom Girardi—Albert Finney played him in Erin Brockovich—were divorcing. There was reportedly no prenup, but Erika asked the court for spousal support. At the time there were conspiracy theories that the divorce was related to Tom’s many lawsuits—fraud, theft, scamming—but the story seemed to go nowhere; until now.

This week both Erika and Tom are being sued by Edelson PC, a class action firm, on behalf of Boeing plane crash victims. The lawsuit ALLEGES that the Girardi’s divorce is a sham, and that the couple is actually embezzling settlement funds meant for the families of the victims who were killed in the 2018 Lion Air Flight 610 crash.

Yeah, this is gonna get ugly.

The suit ALLEGES that Tom’s law firm, Girardi Keese, is in financial ruin, but he needs a lot of coins to fund the outrageous lifestyle he and Erika Jayne live for, and why Erika Jayne, from out-of-nowhere, filed for divorce. See, if the Girardi’s “divorce,” their collective marital assets may be protected from a lawsuit his firm is facing; a faux-divorce protects the couple’s coins from those that seek to collect on debts owed by Tom’s firm.

The lawsuit also claims that this isn’t the first time Girardi has kept money meant for clients to himself to ALLEGEDLY fund “his and Erika’s lavish lifestyle, and Erika Jayne has bragged about spending $40,000 a month to look like a siliconed, Botoxed, be-wigged and be-weaved singer. She even released a single about how, ahem, XXPEN$IVE it is to be her.

Wow, stealing money from the families of victims of a plane crash and then fake divorcing so you can hide the coins is a special kind of vile.

ALLEGEDLY.

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In Vogue’s December issue, Harry Styles was the first male to be on the cover solo,  did the cover  by himself, and in the photo shoot, he donned some skirts and dresses, and this caused one rightwingnut loon, Candace Owens, to go nuts. A man in a dress? Owens shrieked all over social media and any “news” outlet that gave her to air, to declare that we need to bring back “manly men.”

I don’t know why Style’s dress-wearing freaked her out. I mean, has she never seen King Louis VIX, Billy Porter, David Bowie, and Richard Simmons before?

Styles either didn’t hear Owens’ comments, or didn’t care, because he was one of the few people who didn’t come for Candance … until now. He not only posted that photo up top on social media, with the caption, ‘bringing back manly men,’ but also said:

“To not wear [something] because it’s females’ clothing, you shut out a whole world of great clothes. And I think what’s exciting about right now is you can wear what you like. It doesn’t have to be X or Y. Those lines are becoming more and more blurred.”

And that’s how you combat ignorance. You don’t sink to that level, you rise above it and stand your ground. And you offer np ex[planation for that suggestive banana pose.

Bravo sir.

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I love when celebrities say dumb stuff and expect the public to just believe them. And I’m lookin’ at you, JLo.

Jennifer Lopez, who you just know spends millions to look like she isn’t aging, has decided to release a beauty line so you can look like a woman who spends millions on dermatology and skincare experts.

While promoting her new skincare line, JLo claims she has never had Botox and never will because she’s “not that person”:

“I haven’t ever had Botox to this day. I’m not that person. I don’t have anything against people doing that; it’s just not my thing. I’m more about a natural approach to skincare.”

JLo and natural? A fifty-year-old woman without one single frown line or laugh line?

Bitch, please.

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