Ain't That America XLII

Another week down, another week of Cankles working to enrich the billionaire class, and himself, while telling We The People he doesn’t care about our financial situations … or Florida calling surrogacy a form of slavery especially when used by same-sex couples … Cankles wanting to send the military into polling places … with a few laughs courtesy the Cankles Gold Phone and US Ambassador to Greece, Kimberly “Big Mac Lips” Guilfoyle opening a McDonald’s  … lunacy from the mouth of a CouchFucker and the Oklahoma GOP … so let’s dig in …

While the Cankles Regime spent billions on immigration enforcement and mass deportations, the Criminal-In-Chief invested in Palantir Technologies, a company contracted with immigration enforcement agencies.

In early 2026, Palantir struck a billion-dollar deal with DHS to use the company’s software in the deportation surge. Palantir also has a contract surpassing a billion dollars with the Pentagon to develop AI systems that help orchestrate attacks.

This is the grift.

 

Also grift is the 30 billionaire CEOs Cankles flew with him to China. He had no intention of making like better for We The People, he used the trip to enrich the only part of his base that he gives a fuck about.

 

Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier is attempting to strip legal parentage from families who conceive children using a genetic donor, launching an attack on one same-sex couple that has sweeping ramifications for thousands more—including heterosexual and adoptive parents—by arguing that Florida’s surrogacy contract language violates the 13th Amendment’s prohibition on slavery, and, more sweepingly, that the state constitution bars biological parents from transferring parental rights at all.

This is hate, plain and simple.

 

Tennessee GOP House Speaker Cameron Sexton has barred all 24 House Democrats from standing committees and subcommittees for participating in a protest during a special session on redistricting.

The two-and-a-half-hour session ended with a vote to redraw congressional maps, which ultimately demolished a majority-Black voting district.

They are limiting the vote of people of color, so how do you spell racism? GOP.

 

In the wake of the Supreme Court’s recent decision on gerrymandering, Louisiana GOP Governor Jeff Landry suspended the state’s primary elections, even though tens of thousands of votes had already been cast and now he intends to toss those votes.

That is the clear definition of GOP voter suppression.

 

The numbers are bearing out what many lawmakers feared: Americans can’t afford health insurance through the federal marketplaces without boosted subsidies which congressional Republicans declined to extend in December.

You know, cuz they were giving tax breaks to billionaires and couldn’t be bothered about healthcare for their constituents.

 

Cankles says he won’t rule out deploying troops or federal agents to the polls during the upcoming midterm elections, saying he wants to have honest elections.

Accomplished only by sending soldiers to the polls.

Keep in mind that nearly every single election in this country has been honest except for the one Cankles lost and that’s why he’s having this hissy fit and working to suppress the vote.

 

Cankles' handpicked contractor was charging $1.8 million to paint the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool blue but the cost has jumped to $13.1 million. 

Cankles is quite the businessman, awarding a firm on a no-bid contract then letting them change the costs by $12 million.

The grift continues.

 

Hunter Rivera, the 24-year-old chairman of the Weld County Republican Party, was one of two men arrested on suspicion of trying to buy sex from Larimer County Sheriff’s Office investigators who posed as minors as part of an operation targeting child predators. 

Every single day it looks like the GOP protects pedophiles because so many of them are pedophiles.

The $499 Cankles smart-phone has sparked fresh scrutiny after a new rendering shows the device retaining its gaudy gold exterior but replacing a previously advertised triangular camera layout with a straight row of lenses on the back.

More striking, the flag design itself has been altered: while the American flag has 13 stripes representing the original colonies, the new renderings show the flag with just 11 stripes in one video clip and just 9 in another.

The phone also looks very much like a Chinese-made handset available at Walmart for $127.99—roughly the same price as the $100 deposit customers paid a year ago for the  gold phone they have yet to receive.

Grift.

 

Kimberly Guilfoyle, Junior’s former side-piece and current US ambassador to Greece, gushed over her ribbon-cutting in Athens last week … for a new McDonald’s:

“An exciting day for Greece! It was my honor to participate in the ribbon cutting for a brand-new McDonald’s at The Mall in Athens, the most technologically advanced McDonald’s in all of Europe! American businesses investing here create jobs and bring American culture—and delicious food—to the Greek people.”

Opening a McDonald’s.

 

Little Mike Johnson had a meltdown on Fox News about "mini-Mamdanis" popping up everywhere and then accidentally told the whole country exactly why Republicans are about to get crushed:

"Mini-Mamdanis ... [are] avowed to socialist Marxist ideology. This is something we have never seen before in American history. This is about moving away from a constitutional republic to a communist utopian ideology. And that's a dangerous thing for the future of the country."

No, Mikey, it's about moving toward an ideology that gets things done for the people, not the oligarchs. And these "mini-Mamdanis" are gaining traction ... Graham Platner in Maine ... Brian Poindexter in Pennsylvania ... Abdul El-Sayed in Michigan ... running on Mamdani-style platforms and scaring the hell out of Republicans and corporate.

Mamdani inherited a $12 billion deficit from the corrupt Eric Adams administration and erased it without slashing public services, or raising taxes on working New Yorkers; he's investing $122 million to hire 1,000 new teachers and turned the blocks in front of 50 NYC public schools into car-free "Soccer Streets" so kids can play in celebration of the World Cup.

And now Little Mike Johnson is running scared because of Democratic Socialists taking over from his party of Nationalist Christians AKA Nat-C’s.

Virginia GOP Representative Jen Kiggans is facing calls to resign after expressing agreement with a radio host’s remarks that Democrat House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries get “his cotton-picking hands off of Virginia” and then adding:

“That’s right. Ditto. Yes. Yes, to that.”

Now she says she never agreed with the radio host.

Again, the not every GOPer is racist but nearly all racists identify as Republican.

Oklahoma Republicans are saying banning child marriage is “government interference,” but banning abortion is not.

Make them make sense.

 

JD “Couchfucker” Vance spoke at the National Peace Officers’ Memorial Service this week and uttered this line:

“So long as [Cankles] is the president, and so long as I am the vice president, we will never again let policy makers in the building behind us allow violent criminals to tee off on our police officers.”

Um, JD? You moronic tool? Wasn’t it your party that did nothing before, during, and after, Cankles sent a mob to the Capitol and those MAGAts attacked and killed police officers?

Stay in your lane, traitor.

 

Texas GOP Senator John Cornyn introduced legislation to name US Highway 287 in honor of [Cankles]. The I-47 Future Interstate Act would rename the roughly 1,800-mile corridor, which runs from Port Arthur, Texas, to Choteau, Montana, as the [Cankles] Interstate.

No surprise that Cornyn is doing this since he’s up for reelection and needs the help of a con artist so he’s sucking orange mushroom dick to save his ass.

 

Cankles shared a Truth Social post this week calling for the arrest of Barack Obama, accusing the former president of treason, without evidence.

Sounds about white cuz Cankles knows he will never be as smart as Obama, or as respected as Obama, and will go down in history as the worst president ever while Obama sits at the top of that list.

 

Then, regular as clockwork, Louisiana  GOP Senator John Kennedy, AKA Foghorn Leghorn, says Barack Obama stole $120 million that he ALLEGEDLY earned through ownership of Obamacare.

Once again, please remember, every GOP accusation is an admission because it was a completely made-up and nonsensical ‘quote’ that originated with a ‘satire’ website.

Once again, the GOP is made up of idiots.

 

This just in ... Flori-duh GOP Representative Byron Donalds, a Black man, claims it’s the Democrats who “systematically discriminated against” Black Americans in the South which was why we needed the 1965 Voting Rights Act.

Now, he says that “if you look at the last 30 years in America, there is no systematic discrimination [and so] no racial gerrymandering today.”

Then, Byron, explain why Tennessee and Louisiana and Alabama are gerrymandering districts to reduce Black representation in government.

Seriously, the stupid …

 

Cankles told Fox News that he was “seriously considering making Venezuela the 51st state” after abducting the country’s president Nicolas Maduro because, ahem, “Venezuela loves [him].”

But there are just two reasons he made this statement:

1] He’s a rapist and child molester trying to deflect from the Epstein scandal, and

B] He’s a grifter trying to steal that oil profit for himself.

Facts.

 

GOP Wyoming Representative Harriet Hageman is one of the most vocal critic of the Southern Poverty Law Center and has steadfastly tried to tie the organization to ... well, let her say it:

“The Aryan Nation, the Nazis, and the KKK are not far-right organizations. Those are far-left organizations, and they always have been. The KKK was created and started by the Democrats in the United States to prevent blacks from being able to participate in the political arena, if you will. So, I’m going to say they’ve never been associated with the right, they’ve always been associated with the left.”

Which is explains why everywhere you go Democrats are dressing as Nazis and the Klan and wave Confederate flags.

Seriously, Wyoming, you voted out Liz Cheney for this?

Hawaii just became the first state in the entire country to end Citizen’s United; a bold move that will put elections back in the hands of We The People and not the billionaire class.

If we want to save our Democracy we need to do this in every state.

 

The Cultural Landscape Foundation and its founder, Charles Birnbaum sued over Cankles’ Trump’s Reflecting Pool project, arguing the renovation at the National Mall violates environmental and preservation laws and the blue paint coating is “altering the historic character” of the Reflecting Pool without authority.

Well, let’s be fair, he’s doing it for the money.

And how do we end this bull shiz plaguing America? Well …

The Funny Papers

Mike Luckovich, Clay Bennett, Daniel Boris, Dennis Goris, Lalo Alcaraz, Chris Britt, John Cole, Nick Anderson,  S.G. Artley, Michael de Adder, Max Espinoza, Steve Brodner,

The Pedophiles Are Inside The Churches ... Still

It’s been a while since we noted the child sexual abuse going on in our nation’s churches by our church leaders, teachers, and such.

So let’s take a look, thanks to JoeMyGod, at the latest scandals …

OREGON

Christopher Pruitt, a Beaverton pastor was jailed last week after being accused of inappropriately touching two young girls who were members of his congregation. Pruitt was indicted on six counts of first-degree sexual abuse and two counts of third-degree sexual abuse.

Michael Sperou, former pastor and co-founder of North Clackamas Bible Community, was sentenced to 13 years in prison after he was found guilty of two counts of first-degree unlawful sexual penetration; this marks the third time since 2015 that Sperou has been tried for sexual abuse.

INDIANA

Stephen Ayon, a former English teacher and volleyball coach at Fishers Christian Academy was arrested and accused of sexual misconduct with a student, according to court records. He faces three counts of sexual misconduct with a minor, three counts of child seduction and one count of dissemination of matter harmful to minors.

Matthew Brown, a former Bishop Luers High School teacher, has been charged with four felony counts of child seduction.

FLORIDA

David Nims, a former Calvary Baptist Church youth director, was sentenced to 50 years in state prison for hiding a camera in the church bathroom to record people and possessing child pornography.

Derrell Redding, an Ocala, was arrested a pastor after two underage girls described the sexual abuse they endured at his hands. Redding is charged with two counts of sexual battery of a child under the age of 12, a count of sexual battery of a teenager under the age of 18, and lewd and lascivious battery of a child more than 12 and less than 16.

Allen Farabee, a retired pastor, is accused of exposing himself to a nine-year-old girl. According to the affidavit, he was arrested the day prior for similar allegations at the same pool.

TENNESSEE

Benjamin Garlick, an evangelical pastor, was arrested for the rape of a child. In addition, his wife, Shaantal Garlick, is also facing 1-count of Facilitation of Aggravated Rape of a Child and 1-count of Aggravated Child Abuse / Endangerment to a child aged 8 and younger.

CALIFORNIA

Rodolfo Martinez-Guevara, a Catholic Priest has been charged with possession of more than 600 images.

Nicholas Garrett Corl, a Baptist church faculty member was arrested on suspicion of felony lewd and lascivious acts with a child under 14 years of age.

Todd Baldwin, a department staff member at Valley Christian Schools in San Jose, was arrested for possession and distribution of explicit digital media involving juveniles. Baldwin is also suspected of allegedly paying students for the explicit images and videos.

Barry Fike, a minister and former teacher at Fillmore Church of Christ, has been charged with multiple felony counts of child abuse, including accusations that he tried to meet up with a 15-year-old girl for sex.

ILLINOIS

Garrett Biggerstaff, a pastor and athletic director pleaded guilty to one of two felony charges of child grooming.

Ferrell Kissiar, a former assistant pastor at the Pentecostal Church in Patoka was sentenced to a total of 30 years in prison after various consecutive sentences were handed down in the plea agreement for his involvement in a child pornography ring.

GEORGIA  

Kelly Garrett Ivey was indicted for attempting to sell an underage girl on the dark web. In addition, his church, the Rock Springs Church and its affiliated school, Rock Springs Christian Academy, also faces allegations it failed to warn congregants about Ivey trying to traffic a 16-year-old.

NORTH CAROLINA

Doyle Mirtsching, a former kindergarten teacher and senior pastor at a North Carolina church was arrested and charged with three counts of third-degree sexual exploitation of a minor.

Ivan Hugh-McDonald Peden, a former Methodist minister, is charged with taking indecent liberties with children, indecent exposure to a person under 16, sexual battery, and secret peeping.

VIRGINIA

Shawn Gooden, a Boy Scout leader, an LDS church leader, and a lawyer, pleaded guilty to four sexual assault charges involving a child less than 14 years old.

TEXAS

David Lloyd Walter, pastor at Faith Baptist Church, pleaded guilty to federal charges related to child sexual abuse material; Walther knowingly searched for, downloaded, distributed and possessed child pornography.

Ronnie Allen Killingsworth, pastor of a Wichita Falls church, has been indicted on six counts of indecency with a child by sexual contact.

NEW MEXICO

Daniel Balizan, a Roman Catholic priest who was removed from a Santa Fe parish nearly a year ago amid a misconduct investigation, has been charged with enticement of a minor with the intent to engage in sexual activity.

WISCONSIN

Jordan Huffman, a former Plover youth pastor, has agreed to a plea deal after pleading guilty to two counts of repeated sexual assault of a child; six other charges were dismissed as part of the plea deal.

PENNSYLVANIA

Marvin Leroy Mosley, former pastor of United Methodist Church in West Penn Twp., was charged with indecent assault involving three juvenile girls between 2007 and 2012. Mosley is no longer a pastor at the United Methodist Church but at the time of his arrest was serving at a church outside of Schuylkill County.

And again, not one drag queen or gay person in the bunch.

Huh, it’s almost like that whole ‘gay people and drag queens are grooming children” nonsense is a lie to cover-up for the real groomers … the so-called Men and Women of God.

The Funny Papers

Clay Bennett, Ed Wexler, Mike Luckovich, Michael de Adder, JD Crowe, Bill Bramhall, David Horsey, Kevin Siers, Adam Zyglis, Tim Campbell, Ed Hall, Nick Anderson, Chris Britt, Marc Murphy, Macleod

Bobservations

Howsabout a few quickies … this morning I walked into the kitchen and Consuelo and Rosita were eating breakfast in the same room and at the same time for the first time. I smiled, looked at them  and said:

“Morning ladies.”

I smiled, looked at Carlos and said:

“Morning lady.”

He growled back.

Last week he had a translation at the Lancaster Detention Center, so off we went. When the attorney arrived he and Carlos were buzzed inside while I waited in the lobby, and because I live for the funny, I said:

“See you in ten to twenty.”

He growled back.

Lastly, one night this week, while he was practicing his trumpet and I was reading, Rosita, for the first time, crawled into my lap and fell asleep. Carlos finished his practice, walked into the living and saw Rosita asleep and said:

“She sleeps in your lap? She goes back tomorrow.”

Then he growled and went into the kitchen.

This week’s Tuxedo Repost is from February 13, 2010

“SNOWville, Day 2 =)

I know we didn't have SNOWmageddon or a SNOWpocalypse, but this is big news for Smallville, er, SNOWville, as we usually get a one-day dusting of snow each year. Of course, everything came to a standstill; schools and businesses closed before the snow even fell, but it sure makes the town, and our house, look pretty.

Tuxedo's first experience with snow and, well, I'm not sure he likes it.”

This is my favorite picture of Tuxedo—okay, one of my favorites—because of the look on his face.

I miss that punim.

Thing 45-appointed Judge Thomas Parker of the US District Court for the Western District of Tennessee has declared that state's anti-drag Adult Entertainment Act is unconstitutional, saying:

“If Tennessee wishes to exercise its police power in restricting speech it considers obscene, it must do so within the constraints and framework of the United States Constitution.”

Let the drag resume …

I know it’s a Photoshopped image, but nevertheless it begs the question: exactly when did Jon Bon Jovi become Bea Arthur?

Out there in Salt Lake City of all places, copies of the King James Bible are being removed from school library shelves at elementary and junior high facilities in Davis County after a complaint that the scriptures feature material inappropriate—such as murder, sex, and incest—for children.

While I am no fan of banning books, what’s good for the goose …

On the LGBTQ+ friendly front, consulting firm Deloitte will donate $1 million to The Trevor Project, a LGBTQ+ mental-health nonprofit that supports youth in the community in times of crisis.

The donation will be distributed over the next two years and will fund the Trevor Project’s crisis counseling services, a web-based chat and a text-supported phone line, among other resources, and comes at a time of increased anti-LGBTQ+ legislative actions as well as right-wing pushback against acts of support for the LGBTQ+ community by corporate America.

So, Deloitte gets a huge Heyyyyy.

Elon Musk recently said Twitter’s advertising business was on the upswing but, um, yeah, liar gonna lie. It seems Twitter’s US advertising revenue from April 1 to May 1 was $88 million, or 59%, from a year ago.

Oh, I feel so bad for Elon.

So, with Thing 45, Ron DeSaster and Joe Biden all running for president let’s take a look at the messages their wives have sent with their fashion.

The always illiterate Melanie …

Casey DeSaster, whom Twitter has taken to calling either #TackieO due to her love for capes and opera gloves, or, my favorite, #WalmartMelania.

Jill Biden, with the simplest, yet most profound message.

This is Parker Gregory, fashion model and fitness expert. So, once again we ask the question: Would You Hit It?

Meme Dump ... From Before My Trip to Oregon so It's a Tad Late