Bald or Not: Stanley Tucci Edition

It’s never been a secret of my love, lust, for actor Stanley Tucci, AKA The Tooch. I have always found him attractive and smart and funny and sexy AF, and especially find him a Seriously Hot Bald Man … so imagine my surprise when the internet collectively swooned when Stanley Tucci  shared a picture of himself from more than four decades back when he was a young, luscious-haired hottie:

“Really wish I could convey to young people just how awesome it was to be a kid in the 80s and 90s, before cellphones and internet and social media exploded. This was taken 42 years ago.”

But few people cared about his observations on technology’s impact on culture because they were too busy looking at his hair:

“So handsome, Mr. Tucci!”

“Thank you for this very important reminder that you have always been insanely hot.”

“He really said ‘if you think i’m hot now, let me show you how i looked when i was younger.’”

“oh look at me I’m stanley tucci I’ve been hot for 42 years.”

“Every version of Stanley Tucci is HAWT!”

“Jesus. Thought you were Freddie [Mercury] for a sec mate.”

“You never told us you were the lead singer of Queen, Stanley.”

So, comparisons to Freddie aside, which Tucci would you hit … bald or fully maned?

I know what I’d do …

I Didn't Say It

Maya Harris, lawyer and former advisor to Hillary Clinton, on Republican men and Fox News asshats attacking Ketanji Brown Jackson:

“Notice how the most mediocre of men are always first in line to question the competence of exceedingly accomplished Black women.”

Most mediocre men … Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley, Tucker Carlson, Lindsey Graham … are afraid of accomplished women, but you throw in Women of Color and they just can’t handle it.

Their White Fragility buckles.

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Erica Sullivan, an Olympic swimmer who competed against Penn transgender swimmer Lia Thomas, on allowing trans women to compete in women’s athletics:

“All athletes—including transgender athletes—deserve to be respected and included, exactly as we are. Throughout my life, swimming has enabled me to learn so much both in and out of the pool, and transgender athletes should not be excluded from this opportunity Lia Thomas has been unfairly targeted for just that—for being who she is, a transgender woman. Like anyone else in this sport, Lia has trained diligently to get to where she is and has followed all of the rules and guidelines put before her. Like anyone else in this sport, Lia doesn’t win every time.”

Brava. All women, and yes this includes trans women, should be allowed to compete in women’s sports.

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Марджори Тейлор Грин,  AKA GOP Representative Moscow Marjorie Taylor Greene,  calling for Ukraine to surrender:

“I’ll even blame people like Lindsey Graham who is begging for war every single night on the television. These are the people that gave the Ukrainian people the false hope. You see Ukraine kept just poking the bear and poking the bear, which is Russia. And Russia invaded. And the truth is, and this is a hard truth to accept, there is no win for Ukraine here. Russia is being very successful in their invasion even though we hear different things on television. The things we know are actually happening there—I don’t see a way out for Ukraine.”

She doesn’t see a way out because she’s on Team Putin and doesn’t want to see a way out. She has always and ever supported Russia over any other country, even her own.

Fucking vote her out of office.

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Cheryl Hole, drag queen, about finding a 'special guest' in her dressing room after a drag show:

“I walked up and there was no one there, and I was like, ‘This is strange! Normally there are people here already, it’s like quarter-past twelve’, and I was like, look let’s just crack on, let’s just do the damn thing, and all of a sudden, I’m putting my last three nails on, and then they say ‘Adele’s at the back door’, and I’m like ‘What?’, they’re like, ‘THE Adele is here’, and I was like, ‘Nah, I don’t believe you, you’re just trying to pull my leg Jeremy’. Then all of a sudden, you know the voice, you can’t mistake that voice… I just hear ‘Hello Babes!!’, this cackling coming round the corner, and I went ‘F***, F***, F***, F***, F***”, I could not believe it.’

Adele went on stage with Cheryl and even pole danced for the stunned crowd.

Hole then appeared on Rylan Clarke’s on his ‘Ry-Union’ podcast, and said she was “going to put that on every poster that I’ve got and sell that until the end of time, I mean I have hugged and shared a stage with Adele, and I sang her song! Not with her but I sang it to her!”

I.Would.Die. Adele? Come to Smallville and let’s meet for drinks.

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Stanley Tucci, actor, on being called ‘sexy’:

“Who goes, ‘I feel terrible about that’? People think I’m sexy? How awful! It’s wonderful. I don’t get it, but I’m very glad.”

Oh Tooch, you don’t have to understand it, just know that it’s a real thing … and I speak from a place of long-term Tooch Lust™ myself.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Marjorie Taylor Traitor Greene, elected QAnon nutbag and liar, on how great she is for America:

“I was one of those Americans that was supposed to never get elected to Congress; the elites don’t want me here. I’ve never done drugs. I’ve never been arrested. The only thing bad I’ve done is probably gotten a speeding ticket. But you know what, just like every single other person, yeah, I have said things I shouldn’t say at some time or another, but I don’t think I have anything to apologize for. For refusing to believe Trump-Russian collusion conspiracy theories, and looking things up on the internet and asking questions about it on Facebook, big deal. Just because I posted things on Facebook back in 2018 doesn’t mean that I should be removed from my committees here in Congress.”

Yes it does, asshat. You stalked a high school boy in the days after a school shooting. You said Parkland and Sandy Hook were faked. You said 9/11 was an inside job. You said no plane ever hit the Pentagon. You said Nancy Pelosi should be executed. You said Jews have space lasers to start fires.,

Maybe you should have done drugs you delusional gasbag.

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Stanley Tucci, actor who plays a gay character in an upcoming film, on the debate over whether straight actors should play gay roles:

“I have difficulty with that. I think that acting is all about not being yourself. If we were to use that as a template, then we would only ever play ourselves. I think that what we need to do, we need to give more gay actors opportunities. People who are gay have only recently, in the last few years recently, have been able to say ‘I’m gay and I’m an actor and I can play straight roles.’ They’ve always had to hide their sexuality so they could play the leading man or the leading woman. Having played a number of gay characters, you want to do it so that it’s, as you do with any character, you just want to be truthful to it.”

I like the idea of gay actors playing gay roles, but then do we tell gay actors they can’t play straight?

Sidenote: I have a huuuuge crush on Stanley Tucci.

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Adam Kinzinger, Republican Congressman from Illinois, shared his disgust with this week’s House GQP meeting concerning Liz Cheney and MTraitorG, and the standing ovation given Greene:

“It was disappointing by a factor of 1,000. The only thing that could change is if today she comes out and publicly shows that she has moved on, contriteness. That takes eating a lot of humble pie and it’s probably going to hurt her fundraising base, so I’m not sure that’s going to happen because I think a lot of this kind of boisterousness on her part is to get a bunch of Twitter followers and to raise a bunch of money. If she does that publicly today, you know, then I reserve the right to vote against the resolution on the floor. Otherwise, I do intend to vote to remove her from her from her committees, and I think it should have been done by the Republicans.”

Good on Kinzinger, though I’d vote her off no matter if she apologizes publicly or not, because she’d only be doing that to save herself.

And she needs to be relegated to the dustbin of Congress.

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RuPaul, on trans inclusion on Drag Race:

“It’s to keep an open mind. I walked into this thing with an idea of what drag is and the kids have a different idea. They keep changing it. This season we have a trans man who is on our show who is competing with the other drag queens and this man is fantastic. Fantastic! So, you know, I keep moving with what the kids are doing.”

Okay, I’m going out on a limb here. I understand a trans man doing female drag because he’s a man. But there have been people transitioning to female on drag race—Gia Gunn, I think, comes to mind—but is it drag for a woman to do drag as a woman? Am I being a dolt? It just seems odd, like I wouldn’t understand a woman assigned the female gender at birth doing drag as a female.

MM? Give me your perspective.

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Ted Cruz, GQP Senator who objected to certifying the 2021 election doing a major flip-flop in trying to salvage his career:

“President _____’s rhetoric I think went way too far over the line. I think it was both reckless and irresponsible, because he said repeatedly, he said over and over, he won by a landslide, there was massive fraud, it was all stolen everywhere. That evidence — the campaign did not prove that in any court, and to make a determination about an election it has to be based on the evidence. And so simply saying the result you want — that’s not responsible.”  

Funny, Lyin’ Ted, you weren’t saying this a month ago.

Pandering GQP nutbag.

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Jonathan Bailey, who stars in Netflix’s Bridgerton, on being gay in the entertainment industry:

“The most conservative conversations I’ve had about me being honest about my sexuality in this day and age have come from gay men in the industry, ‘Oh, no, you can’t come out. You shouldn’t really do that If you do that, you’re going to have to…’ They’re either people who work in publicity, or there’s also been casting directors who have put the call into my agent to say, ‘Just so that you know, the way that this is going to be sold is that it’s a gay story written by gay writers for gay actors. So, by just taking the role…' This was at a stage where perhaps I was coming to terms with my own sexuality, I hadn’t necessarily hidden it, but I’ve never been not honest about it. It’s just there had never been a need to talk about it. There’s a sense of shame, I think, that’s palpable throughout gay men within the industry. But then there’s also this heteronormative, heterosexual understanding of sexuality. So, in my generation, the out gay actors are now being poached, and you get a script sent through and they’ll say, ‘Must be comfortable with talking about sexuality.’ So that is in one way a brilliant thing, because it’s saying we’re not encouraging anyone not to talk about sexuality, but it’s also showing that sexuality is becoming a commodity. That actually there needs to be this sense that studios are hiring gay actors to play either gay actors or straight.”

It’s 2021 and still we have people being told to hide themselves and stay in the closet.

Get over it. Gay people exist. We work in every field, even TV and movies; you can’t not see us, so stop trying to make us disappear.

Sidenote: is he totally adorable or what?

Side-sidenote: I have recently had an opening for a new Husband-In-My-Head and this British bite might just be the perfect thing.

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Bobservations

Last week I had a nasty head cold. I wanted to simply stay in bed and get it out of me, but on Friday we had several errands and so, being the chauffer, I drove Carlos around Smallville.

I had one caveat: stop at a drug store and have Carlos get me some Cherry-flavored Nyquil. Nyquil knocks me out, let’s me sleep, and without fail, I wake in the morning feeling almost human. Carlos went into Walgreens while I waited in the car, and after a bit he came out with a bag of, what I’d hoped, was Heaven.

We got home and I asked where the Nyquil was, and he said he’d put it in the bathroom. And so, later in the night, as I got ready for bed, I thought of that cherry liquid and feeling better in the morning. I entered the bathroom and found the bag on the counter. Inside was a small jar of Vicks Vap-o-Rub, or, as Carlos calls it, in that accent, Bic Boppa Rue, and alongside that was a bottle of …

Walgreens Generic Brand cold and flu and nasal congestion relief. Not only wasn’t it Nyquil, but it wasn’t even Cherry; it was some neon blue shiz in a bottle marked … and this is where I could kill him … non-drowsy formula for daytime use.

Cherry-flavored Nighttime Nyquil. And he got Walgreens blue shiz Non-Drowsy Daytime. The only plus was that as I lay awake most of the night, struggling to breathe, and rubbing my forehead and trying to erase the headache and stuffiness and congestion, was that I could plot his demise.

He has surgery next week and Nurse Ratched will be home taking care of him.

Karma, like me, is a bitch.

Being completely honest, and why not, I have a huge crush on Stanley Tucci, who epitomizes the Hot Bald Gay Nerd ideal in my head. Oh, I know Tucci is, sadly, heterosexual, but I can dream, eh?

And my dream came true … Stanley Tucci will be playing gay in his latest film, Supernova, alongside Colin Firth as his longtime lover, traveling across England in their old RV visiting friends, family and places from their past. Tucci’s character suffers from early-onset dementia so the trip is the most important thing they have. As the trip progresses, their ideas for the future clash, secrets come out, and their love for each other is tested as never before.

Sounds sad, but also sweet, and it has La Tucci!

Now, a tale of one sane person and two crazy people.

John Kelly, former chief of staff to _____, recently said that he had warned the president before he left the White House not to replace him with a “yes man” because it would lead to _____’s impeachment.

And look what happened, right? But now, _____ is denying that Kelly ever delivered that warning: 

“John Kelly never said that, he never said anything like that. If he would have said that I would have thrown him out of the office.”

But the best comment was from White House Press Liar, Stephanie Grisham said:

“He just wants to come back into the action like everybody else does. I worked with John Kelly, and he was totally unequipped to handle the genius of our great President.”

Clearly, she drinks on the job … still.

More crazy? Okay … In just a few weeks Henderson Kentucky’s Central Park will be the site for a Day of the Dead celebration. Most people think it’s a good opportunity for people to learn about Hispanic culture, but City Commissioner Patti Bugg has a different take:

“I’d say 99 percent of the day of the dead is probably innocent. I think that’s fine. I think if you want to honor your loved ones. I think the only challenge is if they actually try to summons [sic]somebody else, you know, a loved one from the grave, then I think they’re asking for some serious stuff. As a Christian, I don’t think they can do that.”

Seriously. Seriously? Seriously.

Pete Buttigieg was recently in South Carolina and, well, he’s having a bit of trouble connecting with Black voters because, yup, The Gay,

At an event, there were about 24 uncommitted black voters who said they were deeply uncomfortable discussing Buttigieg’s sexual orientation and did not like that he was “flaunting” his sexuality by talking about his husband.

Are straight people flaunting their orientation when they talk about their spouses or are they, and Pete Buttigieg, just talking about their lives.

C’mon, it’s 2019. We’re here; we’re queer; we’re running for president. And some of us have husbands.

Sorry for flaunting that.

Police Sergeant Keith Wildhaber, a St. Louis County police officer, who says the department passed him over for promotions because he is gay was awarded $19 million in a discrimination lawsuit.

Wildhaber filed the lawsuit against the St. Louis County Police Department in 2017 after he was told to “tone down your gayness” if he wanted to be promoted to lieutenant.

Again … here, queer, and some of us are police officers.

In news that makes me squeeeeeee like a little gay boy, there is talk that a growing number of Republicans are privately warning of increasing fears of a total wipeout in 2020: House, Senate, and White House.

From their moths to the voting booth.

Let’s do this!

In last week’s I Ain’t One To Gossip But … I posted that photo up there of septuagenarian Suzanne Somers posing topless in the weeds for her birthday.

Commenter den81164 said:

“first thing i thought of when i saw suzanne's picture was "janice" the girl muppet in the rock and roll band on the muppet show. google it and you'll may see it too.”

Den was so right. High-lariously right!

Over the weekend we watched Mary, Queen of Scots starring the delicious Saoirse Ronan as Mary and Margot Robie as Elizabeth. Good film poor Mary; girl lost her head, um, Spoiler Alert?

Anyway, the film also starred the oh-so-delicious Jack Lowden as Mary’s second husband, Henry Darnley, who ay have been gay, or may have been bisexual or may have been fluid but was hot any which way you tell it.

Dreamy ginger, with an English accent. He could give Hot Prince Ginger a run for his money.

Small Thoughts From Smallville

Man, is it cold in Smallville. We're barely getting to the high 40s during the day and down to the teens at night--makes me almost miss that balmy South Florida weather......Almost.
So, in the chill of day, Carlos and I strung the outside lights yesterday, and then will be doing the tree this evening. We usually do this holiday jazz the weekend of Thanksgiving, but since we were out of town, we are one week behind. But I can say, with a hint of pride, that no one--and by no one, I mean Carlos--was harmed in the process of putting up the outside lights. There was some shouting and dirty looks, but I don't think he minded!
I cannot say the same for decorating the tree. I tend to become a little Martha Stewart with a touch of Kim Jong Il, so it could get explosive.

Yesterday we finally went to see Burlesque! I know, bad gays, but some things can't be helped. And I was was pleasantly surprised, after all the negative stuff I'd read online about it, that Burlesque was a fluffy fun enjoyable way to spend a cold Sunday afternoon.
So many people talked about how much it cost, which is somewhere in the $55 million range, but, to me, it seemed as if all the money was onscreen. The costumes and sets, and musicals numbers were lush and lovely and fun. Christina is in fabulous voice, so much so that even Mr I-Don't-Know-Nothing-About-Pop-Culture, Carlos, was amazed.
"She has a fabulous voice," he said at one point.
"I know," I politely sneered, "I told you so."
And people also snarked about the story, or perhaps, lack of story, but it's a musical, bits of Cabaret and Chicago and Showgirls with a soupçon of All About Eve. It wasn't meant to be the great American movie, it was meant to be fun, and it was.
Cher was Cher, and that's just fantastic; Christina held her own, and looked gorgeous. Cam Gigandet made me wanna start wearing guyliner, and, well, he has a hot ass. Stanley Tucci is, as always, just wonderful, and I'd like to put this out in the universe: someone team Cher and The Tooch again. They have such great chemistry together that it needs to be done again and again.
So, see it for the fun and the flash and the fun and the music and Cher, of course!

Mama Grizzly Bore [MGB] was in South Carolina, very near Smallville, signing copies of the book she "wrote" and people were all abuzz about it. Where was she staying? Did you see her? Yuck. And then I saw a Teabagger--you could tell he was a teabagger by the baseball cap, the Coors in his hand, and the blank in-bred stare on his face--who was all about showing off his signed copy of her book.
I so wanted to ask him if it was a full book, or did the pages suddenly turn blank about halfway through. Was that her whole signature, or was it just Sarah P....but I figured with the blank stare and the obvious infusion of good old Amurican beer, it might be wise to avoid him. Best not to poke a teabagger when they have their Coors on.

Once again, I wonder how I don't get fired from my job. A photographer was talking to my boss about taking his picture for something or another, and my boss said to me, "Hey Bob, this guy wants to shoot me for a magazine."
I said, "Big deal, I've been wanting to shoot you for three-and-half-years."
Then the photographer was talking about where he would put my boos, and how he would photograph him, and how he would light him, so, and I can't help myself, I said, "Does 'lighting' him need any sort of flame and gasoline, because, if so, I'm in.":
Luckily my boss understands my sense of humor [?].

I'm Goin' Camping At Thanksgiving

I used to laugh, albeit uncomfortably, at the people who sat in lawn chairs with tiny Weber grills, waiting for the next Star Wars film to open.

Seriously, I thought, camping out to see a movie? No.

But camping out to see a campy movie?

With Cher?

And Xtina?

And Stanley Tucci?

Where, oh where is my tiny lawn chair?