Bobservations

Carlos came to me this week and said he needed a picture as part of his work profile for a new translation group he’s joined. I told him to put on a nice shirt and I’d take a picture and help him upload it but he said:

“Don’t you already have pictures of me?”

“Of course I do … let’s look.”

And I opened a file on the computer.

“Here you are in a straw hat slurping a margarita on the beach. That’s a good one. Oh, here’s one of you kissing Ozzo. You wanna post that one? No!!! Wait!!! This is the best one … you on the balcony of a hotel we stayed in during a trip to Key West and you’re buck naked.”

I told him there were no work appropriate photos of him unless he’s working as a drunken, dog loving exotic dancer.

This Tales of Tuxedo is from October 2010 and includes an appearance from the late, great MaxGoldberg, who was Tuxedo’s bestest friend; it’s entitled Just for Giggles:

I saw this:

And then I saw this:

Coinkydink?

I don’t know what on Earth  he is looking at when the rear view, er, real view is coming from inside the house!

I never had to learn this lesson, I just think I always knew it, but the lesson is "Don’t act like an ass around Clint Eastwood."

Clint’s son, Scott, says his dad humbled Kevin Costner’s “big ego” on the set of “A Perfect World” in 1993 and how his dad remained “very calm” without “raising his voice ever.” Scott Eastwood explained that Costner was “sort of going through maybe … a rise to fame” at the time and “maybe [had] a big ego” and said Kevin wouldn’t come out of his trailer for some reason.

And so then Clint dismissed him from set—despite him being in that day’s scene—and instructed the crew to “send [Costner] home.” When Clint was reminded that his co-star was “in the scene,” he repeated his instruction. Scott then said:

“I guess they just went to Kevin and said, ‘Hey, you’re going to go home for the day.’ … He said, ‘What do you mean, I’m in the scene?’ [And they said], ‘Well, I guess you’re not anymore.'”

The next day, Costner was on set as planned.

If you’re more worried about a “socialist” in office than a pedophile or domestic abuser, I have questions. Most of them are variations of “what the fuck is wrong with you,” to be fair.

Just a heads up for those of you on the boycott … not only is Taylor Farms serving you Diarrhea Salads but they are using forced labor to pick the Poop Greens. See, they pay the Arizona Department of Corrections $4.75 an hour for prison labor of which just $1.50 an hour goes to the workers.

Prisons for Profit, Corporate Greed and Explosive Runs.

Yesterday, when Abdul El Sayed won the Democratic primary in Michigan his opponent Haley Stevens called him to concede and congratulate him on his victory and told others to do the same. Governor Gretchen Whitmer and Senator Gary Peters then called El Sayed to congratulate him and throw their support behind him.

In addition the entire team that supported Stevens is now lining up for El Sayed heading into the Midterms. That is the kind of unity we need; no grudges; no sitting out the election;  just the entire party pulling in the same direction.

That’s how you do a Blue Wave.

Vote Blue. Cast a Goddamned Vote! 

Michiel Francis Loonen is both a model and piano composer whose work bridges two worlds of expression. Together, these paths reflect his artistry: a pursuit of beauty, whether in front of the camera or at the keys of a piano so Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

This is less about Carlos and more about the look on Carlos’ face as we ran errands one day last week.

We headed down to King’s Kitchen, our favorite breakfast spot in Camden, for a good home cooked breakfast—I had my usual Corned Beef Hash with Scrambled Egg and the best Homemade Biscuit in the world. So good that we lounged a bit and chatted with fellow diners and Kenesha, the owner along with her husband who is the chef. Lovely way to start then day and then …

We started driving to CostCo and about halfway there the traffic stopped; clearly an accident happened up ahead. So we sat for a while and then crawled forward until we came across a semi-truck parked along the left side of the road and all three lanes of traffic blocked forcing everyone to drive on the right shoulder.

“Why the %$#& are they closing the entire road? The %$#&ing truck is way over there. Why the %$#& did we have to sit so long for this?”

Carlos smiled. We made it through and drove on, reaching our exit, at a spot where there’s roadwork on the bridge and side streets; traffic was stopped all down the off-ramp onto the freeway.

“Why the %$#& aren’t they doing this work at night and not on a %$#&ing Saturday morning when everyone is out? And why are these %$#&ers trying to race ahead and get to the head of the line. Not on my %$#&ing watch.”

Carlos smiled. We made it through and as we neared CostCo, at a roundabout where we turn left, another oversized truck apparently took the curve too fast and was tipped over in the roadway.

“What the %$#& is happening today? Is every mother%$#&er who doesn’t know how to drive on the roads? What the %$#&?”

Carlos smiled. We backed up and took an alternate route to CostCo where, by the time we got there, the place was packed.

“Why does every single %$#&ing family with nothing better to %$#&ing do than take their screaming %$#&ing children to the %$#&ing CostCo and feed them all the free samples so the little %$#&ers start screaming and terrorizing those of us just to do a little shopping.”

Carlos smiled. We finally got our groceries, eased through the checkout, and went out to load the car. I took the cart back and when I returned to the car, a giant SUV was parked across the lane, clearly waiting for me to leave so they could take my space. I backed up slowly, trying to turn my car to avoid the gas-%$#&ing-guzzling behemoth, when the mother%$#&er in the car starts honking and waving at me.

“HOW THE %$#& AM I SUPPOSED TO BACK UP WITH YOUR FAT ASS CAR IN MY WAY YOU DUMB MOTHER%$#&ER???”

And then I used both hands and both fingers to accentuate my point, and finally Carlos speaks:

“I’m thinking someone needs a nap.”

Mother%$#&er.

This Tuxedo Says is from August 2020 when Biden became the Democratic nominee to be President.

And, sadly, here we are again.

Republican Representative Anna Paulina Luna is chair of the newly formed Task Force on the Declassification of Federal Secrets. The task force will be looking into the assassination of JFK and in a recent press conference Luna said:

“I’m looking to actually bring in some of the attending physicians at the initial assassination. Then also people that had been on the various commissions looking into it, like the Warren Commission looking into the initial assassination.”

Um, Luna-tic, every member of the Warren Commission is dead, as all the  three doctors who treated Kennedy at Parkland. And WTF is an “initial” assassination?

The GOP’s best and brightest at work.

I do enjoy it when my local grocer makes cake shopping easier and then they have the cakes help me carry groceries to the car.

Tomorrow is Economic Blackout Day to disrupt the system and show those fascists in charge that we have some power, too.

Do not make any purchases

Do not shop online, or in-store

Do not spend money on: Fast Food, Gas or Major Retailers

Do not use Credit or Debit Cards for non-essential spending

Only buy essentials if absolutely necessary—Food, Medicine, Emergency Supplies—and if you must spend, ONLY support small, local businesses.

Corporations and banks only care about their bottom line. If we disrupt the economy for just ONE day, it sends a powerful message.

If they don't listen, and they won’t, we’ll make the next blackout longer.

This is our first action. This is how we make history.

February 28th; the 24-Hour Economic Black Out Begins

A hack at the Department of Housing and Urban Development this week has trolled The Felon and Leon Skum by playing a short, AI-generated video of The Felon kissing Elon’s feet with the title “Long Live The Real King” over the video.

It’d be a shame if this picture was shared everywhere.

I saw this on Facebook this week and, well, ouch:

He still hasn’t done anything to bring down the price of eggs or gas, but planes on the other hand …

It took Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of Canada just minutes to tap out his reaction to his nation’s victory over the United States in an international hockey championship final:

“You can’t take our country—and you can’t take our game.”

Snap.

Michigan Supreme Court Chief Justice Elizabeth Clement announced that she will step down from the state's highest court, leaving Democratic Governor Gretchen Whitmer with the task of appointing her replacement.

Clement's departure and Whitmer's eventual appointment would shift the court from a 5-2 Democratic-nominated majority to a 6-1 Democratic-nominated majority, a margin that could add years to Republican efforts to regain a majority on the state's highest court.

Good.

On the other side … at a GOP town hall this week in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, descended into chaos when Dr. Teresa Borrenpohl was forcibly removed for speaking.

Three plainclothes men from LEAR Asset Management literally dragged Dr. Borrenpohl out of the auditorium and attempted to restrain her with zip ties. As the incident unfolded, the speaker at the podium, Ed Bejarana, made insulting comments:

“Just look at this. This little girl is afraid to leave. She spoke up and now she doesn't want to suffer the consequences. Look at this little girl over here, everyone. Look at her."

Worse is that, despite the clear violation of free speech and civil liberties occurring right before their eyes, the majority of attendees did nothing to intervene or stop a woman from being dragged from the room.

On the upside, after the incident LEAR Asset Management's business license was revoked for violating city ordinances, and a GoFundMe campaign raised over $245,000 for Dr. Borrenpohl's legal expenses.

This is not America and the women of Idaho need to vote these Republican thugs out of office as soon as possible. 

Nicholas Mikovits is a model, sports nutritionist, personal trainer, and actor, and begs the question: Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

Not a Carlos story, but a true story about my mouth. The other morning as I was getting ready for work my phone rang:

“May I speak to Robert Slatten?”

“This is he.”

“How are you today, Mr. Slatten?”

“What can I do for you?”

“I’m Christine ______ from _____ Life and I see by our records you have a birthday coming up soon.”

“No. I don’t.”

“Oh, our records show your date of birth as August 2nd.”

“That’s not my birthday, that’s my father’s birthday. His name is Robert Slatten Jr.”

“Oh. I see the mix up—”

And then she says it:

“Do you think your father would be interested in life insurance?”

“I’m not sure, but considering he’s been dead since February, it looks like a hard pass.”

And then she makes it worse:

“I’m so sorry, please accept our condolences.”

“Thank you.”

“Any chance you’re interested in life insurance?”

“Seriously? You tried to sell life insurance to my dead father and now you want to sell it to me?”

“Well, I—”

:::click:::

This is another in a long list of reasons why I don’t like people.

This Tuxedo Memory is from August 2018 …

We had a bit of a scare last Friday involving the Greatest Cat in the World, Tuxedo.

See, our cats do not go outside, at least unattended. Tuxedo is allowed to walk along the railing with me by his side, or sit in my lap and take a siesta, but because of the rural nature of Casa Bob y Carlos, and the wild-ish animals who roam nearby, it’s not a good thing to let cats wander.

That said, over the course of time we’ve lived here Tuxedo has escaped a handful of times and has always been lured back inside by the promise of treats.

Last Friday, Carlos got up, let the dog out, fed the cats and made the coffee; we had breakfast and chatted and then I got up from the table …

“Where’s Tuxedo?”

“I don’t know, He was here for breakfast.”

"Did he get out when you let the dog in?”

“I don’t know.”

We began the search; through the house, in all the bedrooms, the office, the laundry room, the sunroom; under couches or on tables; in closets where perhaps a door was closed on him; in the bathroom.

No Tuxedo. I head out back, treats in hand, shaking the bag…

“TUXEDO! TUXEDO! TUXEDO!”

No Tuxedo. I go into the front yard …

“TUXEDO! TUXEDO! TUXEDO!”

No Tuxedo. Now I am scared and getting annoyed because I think Carlos missed him when he ran outside and so all kinds of thoughts—of what happened to the cat and what I will do to Carlos—are racing through my head.

“TUXEDO! TUXEDO! TUXEDO!”

Back inside; no cat. I then check every single cupboard in the kitchen, the laundry room and all the bathrooms, shaking that damned bag of treats as I go …

“TUXEDO! TUXEDO! TUXEDO!”

In the master bathroom, I look into a cupboard; no cat. I turn … and there he is, sitting in the bathtub.

See, the night before we’d given all the cats a hit of Advantage because they were scratching a lot. You give Advantage at the base of their neck, so they can’t lick it off.

Tuxedo, because he is so smart, thought he’d wait until Mean Daddy—his name for Carlos—got out of the shower and then he would roll around on the bottom of the tub so see if he could rub the Advantage off.

He got yelled at for disappearing and big smooch from Nice Daddy—that’s what he calls me—for being safe.

In the car, later, driving Carlos to work, I said:

“Sorry for all those hateful things I said about you when we couldn’t find Tuxedo.”

“You didn’t say anything mean to me.”

“In my head, sweetheart in my head.”

“Oh, I expect it was especially vicious then.”

“Yes.”

And luckily, just in my head.

Premise: You have 5 minutes before you die. What are you going to do? Well, I am going to text to a friend saying if they don't send that text to 10 other people immediately, I'll die in 5 minutes.

I’m going out with a laugh!

In the two days since President Biden dropped out of the race for reelection, Vote.org saw more than 38,500 people register to vote, a nearly 700% spike.

Vote.org  hopes to register 8 million voters before November’s election and says that 500,000 have already registered so far, including a record number of 18-year-old new voters.

Onward into the Blue.

More good news … Michigan has become the 20th state to ban the Gay Panic Defense thanks to Democrat Governor Gretchen Whitmer. The “gay panic” or “trans panic” legal defense allows defendants to argue that discovering a victim’s sexual orientation or gender identity justifies assault and even murder.

No, it doesn’t. Thanks Governor Whitmer.

Y’all heard that The Felon wants to eliminate taxes for tipped workers, right? Well, here’s the deal … 33% of tipped employees are too low wage to pay any income taxes so they would never see any tax cut. But since there is no cap on what counts as a ‘tip’ this plan creates a loophole for hedge fund managers, lawyers and other high-income professionals to take a huge tax cut by dubbing their massive bonuses as ‘tips.’

The rich get richer under The Felon while low-income workers suffer.

VOTE BLUE!!

And more good news ... Jim Kohlberg, chairman and co-founder of the private equity firm Kohlberg & Co., has pledged $30 million to launch a center to push for overhauling the corrupt SCOTUS. Maybe find a way to rid the court from the grifters and liars and cheats.

Let’s do this!

Anilton Cabral is a male model who lives on Praia, Cape Verde, a tiny island off the West coast of Africa, but that’s not what this is about: Would You Hit It?

Architecture Wednesday: Chameleon House

I know, I know, this isn’t the house for everyone, hell, even I don’t think I like it. It’s giving me end-of-the-world- apocalyptic house on the hill to spot the zombie invasion vibes, but … it’s interesting.

Built in 2004, the 1,650 square feet, the three bedroom, three-and-a-half bath industrial marvel sits on just an acre overlooking a vast valley and also has views of Lake Michigan, the Manitou Islands, and the Crib Lighthouse.

Still, it’s a lot of stairs with those going up a half-level front to back with living areas facing  the views and bedrooms looking into the woods. From the entry level it’s a half-flight up to the kitchen and dining area—with its own balcony—capped with exposed wooden beams. Up another half-flight to the back is a bedroom, then go up again to the double height living area on the top floor, and another trek up to the guest room and the outside staircase to the rooftop terrace.

As I said, this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and all those stairs are making my knees creak, but in a zombie apocalypse, this might be just the place.

As always click to emBIGGERate ...

Dwell