I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Jen Shah of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City—and, yes, it’s a show—was arrested during a taping of the show this season and accused of swindling hundreds of elderly people in a telemarketing scam. She was charged with conspiracy to commit wire fraud and conspiracy to commit money laundering. She has pleaded not guilty.

But she wants to make sure that no one sees any episodes of RHoSLC in court because they might just paint her as the grifter and con artist she is accused of being. In fact, her lawyers say clips from the show “do not have any of the indicia of reliability” and are “highly edited and crafted through post-production.” You see, in the clips they want excluded, Shah flaunts her lavish lifestyle, and even brags that she spends $50,000 on herself each month … at least the months prior to her arrest. Her lawyers suggest Shah is, ahem, “playing that character on a show that has been highly curated and edited to satisfy its dramatic requirements.”

But Jen Shah isn’t that good an actress, but a woman who brags about her glam squad and her couture wardrobe and her expensive cars all the while living in a rental home.

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Sure, Prince Andrew agreeing to a settlement with his accuser Virginia Giuffre was the best outcome for both parties, but isn’t it funny that now we learn the Queen , Andy’s Mum, will reach into that purse she always carried and ALLEGEDLY part with $12 million for Giuffre? And the part Liz pays will only be a portion of the settlement.

Right as England begins to celebrate Liz’s Platinum Jubilee, she has to bail her perverted son out of trouble.

Not a good look.

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We all know that Bennifer 2.0 rebooted last spring after a seventeen-year hiatus, and the engagement rumors started immediately. And right on cue—the cue being her new movie Marry Me, Jennifer Lopez hit the airwaves to talk marriage proposals. It’s good, right, because if anyone can talk marriage proposals it’s the Five Time Fiancée™.

In the interview with Heart FM, JLO says she loves “public displays of romance,” but doesn’t know if she would love a public proposal:

“I think that that’s a more intimate thing between two people.”

This was said the week after she attended a movie premiere in a wedding gown, with Ben wearing a nice dark blue tuxedo.

This was said by the women who lives her entire life and every single relationship in the press but now suddenly she’s shy and wants an intimate proposal.

Bitch please. I’ve had cold sores last longer than a JLo relationship or marriage.

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What do you get your ex-wife who already has a new boyfriend for Valentine’s Day? If you’re Kanye Ye, you load up a truck with thousands of roses and have them delivered to Kim Kardastrophe West’s house along with a giant sign declaring yourself to be her “number one fan.”

Has anyone seen Misery? Then you know how this ends.

Oh, and you promised to stop stalking Kimmy’s new beau, Pete Davidson, on Instagram, because nothing says love like a mound of flowers dying in the driveway and a promise from your ex not to threaten you new boyfriend anymore.

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Since we started with ALLEGED criminal Housewives, let’s end there, too.

A week or so ago, it was announced that Erika Jayne of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was cut loose from the case of her soon-to-be ex-husband, Tom Girardi’s, scamming of settlement monies from airplane crash survivors, burn victims and orphans. Erika stepped cheering,:

“Told you so. Told you so. Told you. Told you. Told you so.”

Cut to this week and Erika Jayne is being sued once more in relation to her estranged husband legal issues. This time she’s been named in a $2.1 million complaint for ALLEGEDLY “aiding and abetting” Tom’s schemes.

Erika and her company EJ Global—which sounds like a soap opera corporation—were named in a $2.1 million complaint filed on behalf of Manuel Miller and Kathleen Bajgrowicz. Manuel and Tom represented Kathleen when she sued the NFL for the death of her son, Chuck Osborne, who died after repeated head trauma in 2012. The suit ALLEGES that after settling with the NFL, Tom made excuses as to why the settlement money wasn’t available while pocketing the money. The suit accuses Erika of knowing that the stolen money was “funding her notoriously lavish lifestyle.”

Whoops. Again with a housewife and her lavish lifestyle.

But Erika’s lawyer is scoffing at this newest lawsuit saying she “has no law degree and never worked at or managed her former husband’s law firm.” Funny that., because no one is saying she worked for Tom, and no one is saying she’s a lawyer, they are simply saying she lived off the scams of her husband and knew about it.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

As I mentioned in Bobservations Andy Cohen was a drunken raging mess on CNN’s New Year’s Eve show and spouting off about how Journey is ‘fake’ Journey without Steve Perry, and how Bill de Blasio is a terrible mayor, and how he loathes Ryan Seacrest.

Now, sober Andy “really” regrets slamming Seacrest and his New Year’s Eve viewers and ABC, though maybe that’s just the sober talking and the realization that the man he insulted is his BFF, Kelly Ripa’s, cohost on their morning show. A source explains the regret like this:

“Kelly likes Andy, but she adores Ryan. Andy is her friend, but Ryan is her work husband, he is family … What makes matters worse is that Kelly works for ABC. She is very loyal … [and] … calling ABC viewers ‘losers’ [as Cohen did] isn’t cool. One thing is for sure, it’s going to be very difficult to ever ask Andy to fill in on ABC next to Kelly the next time Ryan is off.”

And that’s where the truth comes out. Andy Cohen is jealous that Ryan is on the show with Kelly because Cohen desperately wanted that seat and didn’t get it, and after shot after shot after shot of tequila Cohen spewed his venom.

Um, Andy, you’ll never get the job now, and most likely will never be asked back on the show, unless Kelly and Ryan has an Andy Cohen Raging Drunk Mess Mea Culpa episode.

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Kim Kardastrophe, while she has no discernible talent, is quite adept at keeping her name in the media … either by dating serial dater Pete Davidson, who has dated Ariana Grande, actors Kate Beckinsale, Margaret Qualley, Kaia Gerber, and perhaps Miley Cyrus, among others … or this:

The ex-Missus West watched the new Spiderman film, No Way Home, in her home theater and then took to Instagram to post a series of spoilers about the film because, again, fame seeking whore.

Even more desperate is that Kardastrophe took photos of the screen and shared them to Instagram, revealing to her 273 million followers that … I will not tell you what she revealed, sparing those of you who haven’t seen it, or those of you, like me, who will watch it when it comes to TV and there’s nothing better on.

Kimmy soon realized what a fool she was and thought she could just hit delete, like she does to her marriages, and it would be like it never happened, except it did and social media followers were livid:

“I don’t even **king follow Kim kardashian and the one moment I decide to watch her stories on instagram she post literally THEE whole spoiler of spider man. I’ve never hated someone so much.”

“Nothing says privilege like getting a movie in your own private theatre and spoiling it for those of us who are trying to stay home and safe!”

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: Kim Kardastrophe and the whole Kardastrophe Klan, ruin everything.

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Of course, as thirsty for attention as Kim Kardastrophe is, no one is as thirsty for Kim Kardastrophe as one Kanye West. West has been begging Kimmy to take him back—even though he has been dating a series of women—and even went on a Kimmy Please Come Home rant while handing meals with the LA Mission on Thanksgiving because homeless people need to hear a multi-millionaire whine that his multi-millionaire wife is done with their marriage,

So, what does Kanye do now? He …wait for it, it’s so stalker-ish … bought a Hidden Hills estate right  across the street from Kim Kardastrophe’s Kastle. And he had the money to do so, because it was just last year that Kimmy paid Kanye $23 million to buy him out of the house.

And now they’re neighbors. Creepshow.

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I know you’ve heard that former Sex and the City co-star, former The Equalizer co-star, and former And Just Like That co-star, Chris Noth, has been having a rough end of 2021. Two women have come forward ALLEGING they were raped by Noth in 2004 and 2005, followed by Zoe Lister-Jones says Noth was drunk and creepy with her when she appeared on Law & Order, and a third woman ALLEGES Noth sexually assaulted her in 2010.

In the wake of the ALLEGATIONS, Noth finds himself out of work, though to be fair, And Just Like That killed him off before the story broke. And, after his character died on AJLT, while working out on a Peloton machine, Noth scored an ad campaign with the company, but that’s gone, too, as is his contract with talent agency, A3 Artists. The icing on the cake is that Noth’s SATC/AJLT former co-stars released a statement about the ALLEGATIONS:

"We are deeply saddened to hear the allegations against Chris Noth. We support the women who have come forward and shared their painful experiences. We know it must be a very difficult thing to do and we commend them for it."

They’re sad to hear about the allegations … they support the women … standard issue, until you find out SJP blew a gasket over the whole mess and is said to be livid about the story. Oh, not because Noth was ALLEGEDLY rape-y and sexually inappropriate with several women but because the ALLEGATIONS hurt SJP’s legacy as Carrie Bradshaw. Seriously. An insider, and it’s no doubt SJP’s BFF and henchman, the aforementioned raging drunk  Andy Cohen, who also attacked Kim Cattrall for refusing to do any more shows with SJP, says:

“She is fiercely protective of Carrie Bradshaw and livid that she and everyone else at the show has been put into this position. It is not about the money, but her legacy. Carrie was all about helping women and now, under her watch, women are saying that they have been hurt. She takes the power of being Carrie Bradshaw very seriously. With great power comes great responsibility and although SJP knows this is about him, not her, she feels like she has let everyone down.”

Let that sink in … ‘SJP knows this is about him, not her’ but she makes it about her.

For whom do I feel bad? The women who ALLEGE they were sexually assaulted by Chris Noth, or SJP?

Take a seat, Karen, or maybe it’s something else … It appears that perhaps And Just Like That will be a one-off and SJP has to blame someone and since Cattrall isn’t around, she’s ALLEGING positioning the blame to fall on Chris Noth for ruining her show.

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More Kimmy … Kim Kardastrophe has unfollowed Miley Cyrus on Instagram following the singer’s live New Year’s Eve special with Kim’s current for-media-only boyfriend, Pete Davidson, after it was revealed that Cyrus went to Davidson’s condo after their “Tonight Show” appearance … the same condo Kimmy was seen sneaking out of just last month.

The unfollowing on Instagram is the celebrity equivalent of two women taking off their hoops in an alley behind the club because one woman looked at the other’s boyfriend.

Of note … Kim is a 41-year-old woman and Miley is twelve years younger.

Grown assed woman.

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Nice news … it seems that Keanu Reeves donated a portion of his earnings from the original The Matrix movie to cancer research. Reeves  was paid some $10 million upfront for the 1999 film and earned another $35 million when the movie became a box office blockbuster, but … he donated 70% of the money—a whopping $31.5 million—to leukemia research.

Reeves’ younger sister, Kim, had been battling the disease for eight years at the time he made the donation, though she entered remission in 2001. And Keanu didn’t stop there … he also set up a nonprofit to raise money for research:

“I have a private foundation that’s been running for five or six years, and it helps aid a couple of children’s hospitals and cancer research. I don’t like to attach my name to it, I just let the foundation do what it does.”

And he does what he does, and all of these other folks should take a lesson.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

In 2005, Jamie Foxx was nominated for Best Actor for Ray, spoiler alert … he won … and also for Best Supporting Actor for Collateral, spoiler alert … he lost. And it appears that Foxx’s double nominations came as a surprise to Oliver Stone because in 1999, Stone thought Foxx couldn’t act his way out of a wet paper sack. And we know it’s true, because it’s Foxx telling the story:

“I remember Oliver Stone, when I first auditioned [for Any Given Sunday], he was like, “You’re horrible.” And I was like, “What?” He was like, “Just get the fuck out of here.” As I’m walking out, he said, “Jamie Foxx, slave to television.”

And yet Jamie seems to have appreciated Stone’s critique because he learned from it … though he doesn’t say how. But as we have learned from the past, Foxx received good reviews for Any Given Sunday and proved he could really act by spending five years acting like he wasn’t dating his Collateral co-star, Tom Cruise’s ex-wife Katie Holmes.

He should’a at least been nominated for something for that role.

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Mohamed Hadid, father of models Bella and Gigi Hadid, ex-husband of former RHoBH “star” Yolanda Hadid Foster, is ALLEGEDLY bankrupt.

Or not. Hadid  did file bankruptcy papers, but they were for his construction company, 901 Strada LLC, after he was ordered by an :A judge to tear down what he calls Starship Enterprise, a ridiculous half-built 30,000square foot mansion he’s been building in Bel Air for seven years because the multi-million dollar manse is not up to code, was illegally built and, according to neighbors, a “danger to the community.”

And it’s hideous. I would have ordered it torn down on looks alone.

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Gabrielle Union was recently fired from America’s Got Talent amid rumors that she had complained about workplace racial issues she witnessed, including racist jokes and sexist remarks.

Now, NBC, home of AGT, and former home of pervert Matt Lauer, is in  damage control mode, releasing a joint statement with AGT, Simon Cowell‘s Syco Entertainment and NBC’s Freemantle defending themselves which has only fanned the flames of ALLEGED stories.

There was a story about Jay Leno making a joke about Koreans eating dogs on camera, which was cut. There were stories about Gabrielle being told her hair was “too black”—whatever that means—and fellow AGT judge Julianne Hough getting notes about her looks. There was also a claim that Gabrielle was labeled “difficult” when she complained that Simon’s smoking inside bothered her since she’s allergic to cigarette smoke. The joint statement by Cowell and the show make no mention of any of this, but instead say that everyone involved in the show is “committed” to a “respectful workplace.” They also claim that they’re working with Gabrielle’s people about her complaints.

As in paying her off so she’ll stop talking? Hint: she won’t. And she shouldn’t.

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SNL comic, and standup comedian, Pete Davidson is asking his fans to sign a non-disclosure agreement before seeing his stand-up shows, and if an audience member breaks that signed NDA by Tweeting or Instagramming opinions about the show, they can be sued for $1 million.

Seriously? Pete Davidson thinks he can sue someone for posting an opinion? The idea that he thinks that is the funniest thing he’s ever done.

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Now, for those of you concerned with Tanning Your Butthole ...

Don’t. Apparently the sun doesn’t treat a naked sphincter too kindly. Just ask actor Josh Brolin who claimed he was butt fucked by the sun’s rays and now his hole is on fire. Josh wrote on Instagram last week that he spread his cheeks in the wild to sunbathe his asshole and it now felt he’d been fingered by a molten curling iron.

And I’ve officially heard everything …at least until next week?

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I Didn't Say It ...

Cameron Hawthorn, up-and-coming country singer, debuted a new video, “Dancing in the Living Room”, a tribute to love and Hawthorn’s coming out:

“I remember always thinking how special it was to dance freely with my boyfriend in the living room of our apartment—being gay, it’s not as easy to dance as a couple in public together as it is for a straight couple. I wanted to express how special that moment is for a couple, when it’s just the two of you in the privacy of your own four walls.”

It’s sweet, and he’s hot.

So, welcome out Cameron, and please accept as our gift, from HOMO HQ, the Official Coming Out Toaster Oven—perfect for an after-dance snack—and a copy of The Gay Agenda.

Welcome out.

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Beto O’Rourke, on running for president:

“You can probably tell that I want to run. I do. I think I’d be good at it. This is the fight of our lives, not the fight-of-my-political-life kind of crap. But, like, this is the fight of our lives as Americans, and as humans, I’d argue. I want to be in it. Man, I’m just born to be in it, and want to do everything I humanly can for this country at this moment.”

You can’t deny his passion, and you can’t deny his charisma, but I don’t think this is his year.

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Pete Davidson, responding to people who are somehow upset that his new girlfriend, Kate Beckinsale, is twenty years older than he:

“Apparently people have a crazy fascination with our age difference. It doesn’t really bother us, but then again, I’m new to this. So, if you have questions about a relationship with a big age difference, just ask Leonardo DiCaprio, Jason Statham, Michael Douglas, Richard Gere, Jeff Goldblum, Scott Disick, Dane Cook, Derek Jeter, Bruce Willis, Harrison Ford, Tommy Lee, Alec Baldwin, Sean Penn and whoever the president of France is. Mel Gibson, Billy Joel, Mick Jagger, Sylvester Stallone, Eddie Murphy, Kelsey Grammer, Larry King, Larry King, Larry King, Rod Stewart and Donald _____.”

True dat. If the man is decades older than the woman, people say almost nothing. But a younger man and an older woman?

Quelle horror.

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Pete Buttigieg, the mayor of South Bend, Indiana and future presidential candidate, slamming Michael Elizabeth Pence for supporting _____:

"How could he allow himself to become the cheerleader of the porn star presidency? Is it that he stopped believing in scripture when he started believing in Donald _____? I don’t know. [How] could he get on board with this presidency? My understanding of scripture it’s about protecting the stranger and the prisoner and the poor person and that idea. That’s what I get in the gospel when I’m in church. And his has a lot more to do with sexuality and a certain view of rectitude. And we saw that in Indiana when he really embarrassed our state with policies that both Democrats and Republicans, in not just the political world but the business community, stepped up and said, ‘Hey, you’re making us look like a backwards place in just the moment we’re trying to advance.’ And unfortunately, he now has a national stage for some of those fanatical social ideas.” 

I like Pete. Pete speaks his mind. I don’t think Pete has a shot at being president in 2020, but maybe sometime. But, think on this …

What if whomever gets the Democratic nomination chooses Pete to be their Veep, and then Pete will be able to debate Michael Elizabeth Pence … and he will mop the floor with him.

That I’d love to see.

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John Oliver, on _____’s visit with tornado victims in Alabama, where he signed Bibles:

“I am not remotely surprised that _____ did that. I’m just slightly confused as to why anyone would want him to, because seeing _____’s autograph on a Bible should be like seeing a picture of your own Mom on the cover of a Penthouse magazine. It should render the whole thing useless, and if you keep reading after discovering it, you’re going directly to Hell. [But] look, some people there clearly wanted his autograph and presidents have signed Bibles before, but Trump didn’t just sign the book. He signed the cover! And it is weird to sign the cover of any book, and weirder still to sign the cover of the Bible with [that] signature. Because I don’t care what your name is, that is not how you sign something. That’s how you test if your Sharpie still has ink left before you sign something.”

Also of note is that_____’s signature looks like a row of Klan hats, which is quite telling.

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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, on her detractors:

“I find it revealing when people mock where I came from, saying they’re going to ‘send me back to waitressing,’ as if that is embarrassing or shameful. It’s as though they think being a member of Congress makes you intrinsically ‘better’ than a waitress. But our job is to serve, not rule.”

Sad that most in Congress don’t realize they are the servers and we are the served.

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Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, on impeaching _____:

“I’m not for impeachment. I’m going to give you some news right now because I haven’t said this to any press person before. But since you asked, and I’ve been thinking about this: Impeachment is so divisive to the country that unless there’s something so compelling and overwhelming and bipartisan, I don’t think we should go down that path, because it divides the country. And he’s just not worth it.”

Keep that in mind, until, and unless, the GOP acquires a spine, impeachment will be a waste of time and will divide this country further.

Bets bet? Vote that fat lying adulterous, traitorous, conman, misogynistic, racist, anti-Semitic, white supremacist, homophobic ass out of office.

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It's Snarkurday!

They’ve been together nearly fifty years, but a breakup can still be ugly and can still inspire a lawsuit.

Indeed, the Rumours—see what I did there? —are true, Fleetwood Mac guitarist Lindsey Buckingham is suing the band, claiming that they booted him from the group for no reason and then replaced him with Mike Campbell of the Heartbreakers and Neil Finn from Crowded House.

Lindsey claims Stevie Nicks started hating on him after he smirked while she was giving a speech at a MusiCares benefit, while Stevie says Lindsey got the boot for wanting to postpone their tour while the others were ready to roll … rock and roll:

“We were supposed to go into rehearsal in June and he wanted to put it off until next November… That’s a long time…. As soon as I finish one thing, I dive back into another. Why would we stop? We don’t want to stop playing music. We don’t have anything else to do. This is what we do.”

Either way, Lindsey and his people have filed suit for “breach of fiduciary duty, breach of oral contract and intentional interference with prospective economic advantage” and claim Lindsey was let go without warning and is entitled to money. The complaint also says that because there was no written contract between the band, no one can get fired “without cause”. Lindsey tops off his complaint by attaching some receipts to the end of it in the form of an email sent to Mick Fleetwood on February 28 where he tried to deal with the drama:

“In the month since MusiCares I’ve tried to speak to both you and Stevie, to no avail … I’ve only gotten radio silence this whole time … All of this breaks my heart … After 43 years and the finish line so clearly in sight, it’s hard to escape the conclusion that for the five of us to splinter apart now would be the wrong thing … At the moment, the band’s heart and soul has been diminished. But our center, which had seen us through so much, is only laying dormant.”

Wow. Is it about cash, or a smirk, or is Lindsey crushed the band got back together without him and that it took two people to do his job?

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Now, this is how a breakup after five months goes … last week Pete Davidson had his neck tattoo for Ariana Grande—a pair of bunny ears inspired by her Dangerous Woman album getup—changed into a heart.

Yes, folks, it’s over between Davidson and Grande and, oh who cares. This whole relationship seemed made for Instagram and Twitter and social Media and special Pete Davidson comedy segments on SNL, as well as Ariana’s new tunes.

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Former White House staffer, and pot stirrer extraordinaire, Omarosa is still trying to sell her book by detonating some more bombs about _____ and his White House Hot Mess band of miscreants and losers. But, since we all know what a d-i-saster this administration is Omarosa has no more stories to sell tell sell, so she’s moved onto the creepy relationship between _____ and his daughter-wife Ivanka:

“He would kiss her on the lips. He would rub her for a very long period of time. It was awkward.”

Even better is the ALLEGATION that Ivanka adores being known as, not Mrs. Jared Kushner, but Daddy’s Little Girl and she often introduced _____ to people as … I may vomit …

“My daddy.”

But Omarosa also threw shade at Mr. Daddy’s Little Girl, saying:

“[Jared] is that guy in the room who thinks he’s the smartest guy in the room. He has absolutely no idea of what is going on. He doesn’t know how stupid he sounds when he’s talking at those meetings.”

Still, he must know, as we all know now, that he sounds like a cartoon squirrel, right?

The only one who goes unscathed is Melanie, who’s probably thrilled about the kisses and touches Daddy and Daddy’s Little Girl share, because it means that orange mushroom dick ain’t coming near her.

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Tara Reid may not be able to book any acting jobs, but she can steal the show aboard a Delta Airlines flight like the best of them.

Things got off to a rocky start for Tara aboard her Delta Flight 613 from LAX to NYC right from the jump off when she loudly complained about being given the wrong seat … She likes to sit close to the bar cart, you know … but things turned hideous when the flight attendants did not fulfill Read’s request for a pillow. And when they tried to diffuse the situation with shiny objects and little bottles of booze, and got nowhere, the pilot turned the plane around, and went back to the gate for a “customer service issue”. 

The issue, of course, was Tara, who got off the plane to the biggest ovation she’s ever heard.

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Say it isn’t so, even though the idea of Idris Elba in tights sends sparks through my loins.

Is Idris Elba actually in talks for a role in the upcoming film adaptation of :::gasp::: Cats? If so, he’ll be joining Sir Ian McKellen as either Old Deuteronomy or Gus: The Theater Cat and Jennifer Hudson as Grizabella: The Glamor Cat. Okay, there’s some talent there so maybe Idris Feline Elba will be good but … but …BUT … both Taylor Swift and James Corden have been cast as well.

Say it ain’t so Idris! I mean, wear tights and prance around like a cat, but do it in my dreams like you used to, and not in a movie.

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Lastly, Gwyneth Paltrow. I know, she’s horrible, but apparently we aren’t the only ones who know. Gwyneth’s dad, Bruce, was also well aware of what a shrew his child was is, because, as Goop tells it, he told her so:

“I was just believing my own hype, thinking that I was super-awesome. And [my dad] was like, ‘You’re getting weird—you’re acting like a dick.’”

Daddy was right; and she proves it again by talking about giving up acting …thank the goddess for that one … and how she doesn’t miss it at all:

“It’s so weird. It was such a part of my identity for so long … I went out to LA for a couple of days, and I actually didn’t hate it. But I just don’t miss it. The level and breadth of creativity that I have in this job is so bananas, and I’m very fulfilled.”

Um, not to call you a liar, again, Gwynnie, but it was just last month … last effing month … that you talked about your home being in LA and how your two kids Jedediah and Mango go to school in LA and your consciously uncoupled ex, Chris Martin, bought a home in LA to be close to his kids and how your new husband Brad Falchuk lives and works full-time in LA.

Sheesh, this woman wouldn’t know the truth if it came silkscreened on a $1,500 Goop T.

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