It's Snarkurday!

SNL premiered last weekend. Ariana Grande was supposed to be the musical guest, but she backed out; I was glad until I learned that Kanye would be the replacement … luckily, we DVR the show and I Fast forward through musical bull shit …especially when, during the first number, he wore what looked like a bottle of Clorox.

At the end of the show, after Adam Driver signed off, Kanye was scheduled to do one more song, but decided to air a commercial rap about _____ whilst wearing his MAGA hat. It did not go well … in fact it did not make it on TV though the audience got the brunt of it.

He talked about the Democrats are hatching a plan to keep black people on welfare and how ____ is love but then Kanye, oh, I mean, Ye, was furious about the snub and demanded that the cast and Adam Driver come back onstage and not saying why and then he went off on them.

Even though the show had given him everything he asked for, including a third performance at the close, Kanye complained that he had been “bullied backstage” about wearing the MAGA hat. Except that was a lie; an insider, and you know it’s Keenan, said:

“No one bullied him about wearing the MAGA hat. He wore it in promos and all week before the show even aired and was asking everyone if they thought he should wear the hat, interns, anyone walking by who would listen.”

But, you know, Kanye, poor mistreated, misunderstood Kanye, who thinks _____ is the savior didn’t get his way and pitched a hissy.

He should have tea with Miss Lindsey.

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Speaking of hot messes …and Lindsey’s, er, Lindsay’s … Lohan is back!

It seems Lindsay was in Moscow—where high-class call girls go—and spotted a family of four that appeared to be living on the street. The family might have been Syrian, though that’s unclear, but they spoke no English.

So, Lindsay offered them money to stay in a hotel for a night, but they appeared not to understand what she was saying … or they didn’t want a room at the Hooker Suites Red Square. So, she then began live-streaming the interaction of her trying to talk to a homeless family until it got weird.

Lohan tried to take one of the children away, saying that she just wanted the kid to stay in a hotel for “one night, one night, one night.” The family grabs their kids and tries to move, but Lindsay keeps telling them she’ll take the one kid just for “one night.”

And she follows them and accuses them of “trafficking children” and accuses them of "ruining Arabic culture by doing this.” At various points during the live-stream, Lohan adopts several poorly done fake accents, including one accent that sounds Indian, which she used to shriek:

“Is he your son? From Pakistan? Don’t **k with Pakistan.” 

It did not end until the mother turned and stopped the rampaging Lohan with a punch in the face.

Seriously. Did she think she was making a low-budget version of Taken? Or Not Without My Daughter [Son]? Or was it Lohan’s reboot of The Parent Trap?

At any rate, we know that she’s still a wackjob. I mean, if you ever stopped thinking she was a wackjob.

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There are always stories about who’s gonna be the new James Bond. I mean we’ve heard Clooney, Idris Elba, Emily Blunt and even Harry Styles, but here’s one you probably never thought about …

Michael Jackson.

Tis true; apparently uber agent Mike Ovitz claims that back in the 80s, the King of Pop wanted to be Bond. Jackson begged Ovitz, and his business partner Ron Meyer, about taking on the role of Bond, though Ovitz clearly thought it was crazy and says he listened just to be nice… Jackson’s hat fell into the guacamole:

“Then the blob fell off, and Ron totally lost it. I cracked up, too, and Michael stalked out. I found him and explained for 15 minutes that we hadn’t been laughing at him … Finally, Michael’s face cleared. ‘OK, Ovitz. OK,’ he said. ‘But I want to play James Bond.’ I am proud to report I didn’t laugh, this time.”

And, to be fair, Ovitz did explain to Jackson that he was too thin and too, um, sensitive to be taken seriously as Bond. Jackson seemed to understand, but then opted to portray himself as someone who would take down Bond and he wrote “Smooth Criminal” as his response.

And if you’ve seen the video, you know he’d be better suited playing Jane Bond.

Just sayin’.

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Bradley Cooper is out promoting the fourth reboot of A Star is Born and has some interesting tales to tell. He claims he once lost a role because he was deemed not “f**kable” enough?

Seriously?

“I’ve always been an underdog. I was always operating under the lens of not really being seen as the ‘main guy.' Early on, I didn’t get a role because they said I wasn’t ‘fuckable.'”

I’m’a just say this …I saw Cooper paly an unethical lawyer on an early episode of Law & Order: SVU and if he was f**kable then, he’d have been f**kable any day.

I mean he was a lawyer with bad hair and I’d have done him.

Oh, maybe that says more about me? 

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It’s been a year since Jane Fonda served shade to Megyn Kelly for asking about plastic surgery, and clearly Megyn’s show must be sinking because she’s just thirsty enough to start talking about it …again!

Megyn is now saying she regrets the moment, though not because she should have asked the question, but because she never should have had an Oscar winning legend on her show in the first place when there are kids with cats to interview.

But Megyn now claims, a year later, that Fonda had answered that question many times before—which may explain why she was annoyed, hoping that this seasoned “journalist” could find a better question—and says she think Fonda grew annoyed because, well, let her say it:

“She answered that question in about 40 different forums. It was nothing wrong with me … I think the issue was somebody who used to work at Fox News was asking it of her that particular day. There’s nothing I can do about that. I know some people don’t like Fox News, and some people don’t like me and that’s OK.”

Poor Megyn thinks it’s because she was a Fox News hack? Um, Megyn, Fonda knew you had come from Fox before she agreed to the interview, so if she had an issue with being questioned by you she would have declined.

You’re looking desperate and thirsty for attention … again.

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Sex and the City was a cute show. The first movie was a cute-ish show. The second film was a sh*t show.

So, like most people save some in the cast, I was glad Kim Cattrall pulled the plug on the idea of a third movie. But then SJP lost her shiz because Cattrall called her out on her BS, and then Kristin Davis chimed in because she needs the coins, and then some of the supporting actors went after Kim because they had time between shifts at Starbucks.

But some fans want a third film because they need to see something while Long Island Medium is on hiatus, so they asked SJP to have Samantha written off or even killed in a third reboot:

“You are still my hero. Please replace or write her out Kim/Samantha if she is not interested and bring back sex and the city movie #3. The fans need this.”

SJP, though, knows how her bread is buttered and that no one wants to see a Samantha-less SATC, or any SATC for that matter and she responded to the idea:

“Not sure if I can imagine doing another movie without her.”

That sounds nice, but it once again portrays Kim as the bully and not an actor who realizes the show is over.

Now, kill off Charlotte and we may have something.

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It's Snarkurday!

Anyone who watches The Real Housewives of New York knows that former besties Jill Zarin and Bethenny Frankel had a huge falling out in 2010 and stopped speaking. But this week, when Jill’s husband, Bobby Zarin, passed away, it looked like the fences would be mended.

On camera, at least.

Frankel was in Aspen when she learned of Bobby’s death and chartered a private jet to whisk her back to New York for the funeral, and she arrived just before the start of the ceremony. But Bethenny wasn’t alone; no, she had an entire camera crew from RHoNY following her … at … a … funeral. And even more pathetic, is that Jill Zarin knew they’d be filming at Bobby’s funeral and she was fine with it.

And, naturally, Bethenny Tweeted a photo of she and Jill holding hands:

“Today is a sad day with a silver lining. I laughed. I cried. I saw old faces & watched a family come together surrounding a loss. ‘I have a dream’ that Bobby’s death makes us realize what is important & treat each day as our last.”

Wow, she co-opted Martin Luther King.

Reality stars, like Frankel, and former reality stars like Jill, have zero shame.

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Oops; fashion photographers Bruce Weber and Mario Testino stand accused to sexual harassment of male models.

Last month, a male model named Jason Boyce sued Bruce Weber for ALLEGEDLY sexual harassing him during a photo shoot in 2014.  Since then, fifteen more models have come forward claiming Weber of asking them to join him in private clothing-free “breathing exercises” in which he would ALLEGEDLY guide their hands over his body and vice-versa.

Now, Mario Testino also stands accused of inappropriate behavior by thirteen male assistants and models going back as far as the mid-90s; accusations included subjecting them to unwanted sexual advances, groping, and masturbation. Two former Gucci models claim it was well-known that if you wanted to advance your career, you met with Mario for a nude shoot at the Chateau Marmont.

Weber released a statement:

“I’m completely shocked and saddened by the outrageous claims being made against me, which I absolutely deny.”

Testino’s lawyers also questioned the credibility of the models. You know, blame the victim.

Luckily, many in the fashion industry believe the models and have kicked Weber and Testino to the curb. In fact, brands Michael Kors and Stuart Weitzman both said they will not to work on future campaigns with Mario Testino, while Ralph Lauren, who frequently works with Bruce Weber, announced that they will not do business with anyone who “behaves in a way that compromises” their commitment to a safe work environment.

But best of all is that Anna “Nuclear” Wintour issued a statement denouncing sexual harassment and assault in the fashion world, and announcing Condé Nast would no longer be working with Mario Testino or Bruce Weber.

They pissed off Anna?

Bye Felicias!

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More sexual harassment stories? Matt Damon.

No, he hasn’t been accused by anyone, but when the stories and stories and stories began to break, Matt kinda wished these women wouldn’t talk so much about it.

Now Matt has had a change of tune … and when he was asked what he learned from the whole mess, he said:

“I really wish I’d listened a lot more before I weighed in on this. I think ultimately what it is for me is that I don’t want to further anybody’s pain. With anything that I do or say, so for that I’m really sorry.”

And then he added:

“I should get in the back seat and close my mouth for a while.”

Good on Matt for learning.

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Last week we learned that Mark Wahlberg was paid $1.5 million for ten days of reshoots for All the Money in the World while co-star Michelle Williams earned about a $1,000.

Michelle did the reshoots because she believed in the movie, because she didn’t want to be a nuisance, and because she wanted to “fix” the film after Ridley Scott decided to edit Kevin Spacey out.

Wahlberg just wanted more money and threatened to not do the reshoots if the coins weren’t served up to him; he didn’t care if the movie was saved, he didn’t care about Plummer’s recasting or any of that.

It was cash.

And when it was revealed that Wahlberg’s talent agency is the same agency that represents Williams, and that they screwed her over in favor of MarkyMark, suddenly Wahlberg looked like a greedy self-serving ass…because he is.

And so, after a week of people calling him a douchebag, Wahlberg announced he donate the$1.5 million to Time’s Up.

Oh, Mark, let’s all clap you on the back for doing the right thing, but not because you wanted to do the right thing, but because you were shamed into doing it.

Siddown.

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Selena Gomez’s mom loves to talk and kinda loves throwing her daughter under the bus:

Case in point: Selena recently worked with sexual pervert Woody Allen and when Selena’s mom, Mandy, was asked about that: 

“No one can make Selena do anything she doesn’t want to. I had a long talk with her about not working with [Woody Allen] and it didn’t click… She makes all her own decisions. No matter how hard you try to advise. It falls on deaf ears.”

Well, now Selena and her team want you to know that she donated her salary from the film to Time’s Up, okurrrrr?

After Timothée Chalamet and Rebecca Hall pledged to donate their salaries from Allen’s A Rainy Day in New York to Time’s Up, some fans criticized Gomez for not following suit, and so Gomez, who has yet to make a similar public stand against Allen, had a “source” announce that she “made a significant donation anonymously” to the Time’s Up Legal Defense Fund that “far exceeded her salary for the film.”

Wait. What. She donated anonymously and then released a statement saying she donated?

Selena is trying to have it both ways – she wants to work on Woody Allen films, but not have to explain why she’s working with an accused predator, and then, of all the nerve, she wants to give herself credit for her anonymous, large donation to Time’s Up.

Bitch. Please.

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A little over three months ago, Jane Fonda appeared on Megyn Kelly’s NBC show and threw a shade face at the host for asking about her plastic surgery.

This week, Jane was on the second hour of Today with Lily Tomlin when she clocked Megyn who wasn’t even there!

Hoda Kotb and Savannah Guthrie interviewed Jane and Lily Tomlin about the third season of Grace and Frankie and when Hoda brought up their friendship and wondered how long they had known one another, Lily looked at Jane and said:

“Oh my God… Before your first facelift.”

Jane snapped back:

“Who are you, Megyn Kelly?”

Lily countered:

“Oh, that’s right, I forgot she was the one!”

Both Hoda and Savannah tried to keep from laughing because Megyn Kelly was clearly nearby.

Still, good on Jane and Lily.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Seth Meyers, on _____’s tax bill, and the idea that _____ actually thinks he came up with the term ‘tax cuts’:

“Oh my God! Do you really think you came up with the phrase, ‘tax cuts?’ Those are literally the two most popular words in the history of politics! … That’s right, Trump claims he invented the phrase, ‘tax cuts.’ That is so fake, the only thing that would be more fake is claiming you came up with the word ‘fake’. [And] you passed one bill. People are so enthusiastic about you that Alabama elected a Democratic senator.”

God, is there a single topic about which he will not take credit?

Oh yeah, that whole being a horrid president thing.

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Kellyanne Conway, ____’s lapdog, attacking the Mueller investigation:

“Americans need to see the entire process for what it is. And I’ve noticed people who are trying to cover these latest bombshell revelations about the bias against Donald ____ as a candidate — they’re trying to cover it by somehow saying the president is against the FBI, he’s trying to shut down the investigation. No, we need to see — his lawyers made clear, everybody is complying with that investigation, including the president, who is not under investigation, we are told. Look, everybody should see both sides of the coin here.”

Spin, Kelly, spin. I cannot wait for you to go down.

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Franklin Graham, alleged Man of God, telling Rosie O’Donnell she’s going to Hell:

“Rosie O’Donnell is back in the news today for going after Speaker of the House Paul Ryan on Twitter after he posted a Christmas video message honoring the birth of Jesus Christ. Among other things, she told Speaker Ryan he was going ‘straight to hell.’ Rosie, you don’t have the keys to hell, but I know the One who does. And I can tell you who will be there. Hell is going to be filled with people who rejected God’s offer of salvation and turned their backs on His laws and standards, refusing to repent. Jesus Christ is God in the flesh, and He took your sins and mine to the Cross, dying in our place, so that we might live–if we would turn from our sins and put our faith in Him. I hope one day you will put your faith and trust in Jesus Christ and let him heal your heart, clean up your mouth, and forgive your sins. Do that today—you’ll never regret it.”

Wow. A man who supports a sexual predator, who said he grabs women by the pussy, is suggesting to anyone at all that he knows who is going to Hell?

Fuck off, Franklin.

God sees your hypocrisy and She is not amused.

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Anderson Cooper, on The Tonight Show revealing how he met Andy Cohen on a blind date and knew within seconds it wouldn’t work:

“We were actually set up on a blind date. You know when straight people know two gay guys, they’re like, ‘Oh you guys should meet.’ We had a phone call to set up the date, I was a young reporter at NBC, he was at CBS. And I knew within 45 seconds, I was never going on a date with Andy Cohen. I imagined him on a Bluetooth headset and gesticulating. He was all excited. And he violated my cardinal rule, which is he asked me about my mom within the first minute of talking to me."

You dodged that bullet, Anderson, but, um, yeah, you know, I would never ask about your mother, so, um, yeah, just in case, you know … Husband In My head.

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Jane Fonda, who turned 80 last week, on being thankful she’s still alive:

“[As a young woman] I never pictured 30. I assumed I wouldn’t live very long and that I would die lonely and an addict of some sort. I didn’t think if I did live this long, that I would be vibrant and healthy and still working. I’m grateful. I’m thankful that I’ve gotten better over the 80 years. I’m less judgmental. I’m forgiving. It wasn’t always true. I’ve really worked hard to get better as a human being.”

I’m a fan; and thinking of all the things she’s done in her eighty years proves what a remarkable life she’s had.

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Barack Obama, without mentioning _____, on the dangers of social media:

“One of the dangers of the internet is that people can have entirely different realities. They can be just cocooned in information that reinforces their current biases. The question I think really has to do with how do we harness this technology in a way that allows a multiplicity of voices, allows a diversity of views, but doesn’t lead to a balkanization of our society, but rather continues to promote ways of finding common ground … All of us in leadership have to find ways in which we can recreate a common space on the internet. It used to be, in the United states for example, we had three television stations and everybody watched Walter Cronkite or David Brinkley or whoever the chief anchor was. Everybody had a common set of facts, and so there might be conservatives and liberals, but people could generally agree on a baseline of reality.”

These days we have 500-plus channels and all kinds of “reality” and a Fat Bastard spinning his own reality, er, lies, as truth.

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I Didn't Say It

Bishop Bernando Alvarez, blaming child molestation on the victims, because after blaming The Gays, then Satan then The New York Times who else is left....Tiger Woods?:

"There are 13 year old adolescents who are under age and who are perfectly in agreement with, and what’s more wanting it, and if you are careless they will even provoke you."

Steve Carell, on the unbelievably daunting task of having to stare at Mark Wahlberg's chest while filming Date Night:
"Looking at Mark Wahlberg's chest is like looking at the sun. If you stare too long, you go blind."

Colin Farrell, in a statement of support to an Irish LGBT youth support group:

"I can't remember much about the years of physical and emotional abuse my brother Eamon suffered. I was very small. The thing I do remember though, quite literally, is blood on his school shirt when he came home in the afternoon. The beatings and taunting were very frequent for my him and a constant part of his school years. I didn't understand at that time the concept of 'difference'. Back then, as now, he was just my big brother. If I did understand what difference was I understood it in the most pure and unaffected childlike way. To me then, as a child, difference meant being left out. Joy and laughter came with being included, being embraced , and BELONGING to.

People are often afraid of difference. They feel that anything that causes fear, should be turned away from. My brother represented fear for so many people, but caused joy in my life. From a very young age he made me laugh with his intelligence and wit, made me aspire to his strength and goodness. He was to be embraced. To many of the students of his school however he was to be feared. He was to be turned away from. I didn't understand it then, and I still don't know. As a race we humans are united and divided by emotions. The mother and father of all emotions, the queen and king are love and fear. Love unites, it brings us closer to an understanding of the possibility of beauty amidst all the confusion and pain that life can bring. Hate is a disease. It is fear's messenger and it makes us do terrible things in a shadow of our better selves, of what we could be."

Jane Fonda, on her last round of plastic surgery:

“I caved. If I was really brave, I would have not. I vowed I wouldn’t — I did, and I don’t feel proud of it. I didn’t want to look kind of tired and jowly any more…I didn’t do a lot, right? Your lighting is so good, you probably can’t see my crow’s feet and everything like that. I don’t look weird — do I look weird? I like my crow’s feet and I like my little laugh lines. It was just the little jowls away, that’s all. I didn’t want to lie about it. I’m writing a book about getting older, so I had to admit it. I feel so good. I’m so happy.”

Rufus Wainwright, on his change of heart about marriage equality:

"I have been with Jorn [Weisbrod] for five years and he's the light of my life. He's my inspiration, support and he's good in the sack, too! But I am very aware of living in the U.S., of the conundrum that you can't marry your gay partner and give him citizenship. He has to apply for a green card and he may or may not get accepted, which is annoying when you're in a committed relationship. If we were straight, we could get married and he'd get his American passport and it would make a lot of sense.

I wasn't a huge gay marriage supporter before I met Jorn because I love the whole old-school promiscuous Oscar Wilde freak show of what 'being gay' once was. But since meeting Jorn that all changed."

Dan Savage, on pedophile priests and shark attacks:

"Three shark in attacks in Florida, million of sharks in the ocean, and no one will go in the water. Hundreds and thousands of children raped in churches and people still send their kids to church. It's crazy. You should be sending your kids to gay bars. There they will be be safe."

Family Research Council head, Tony Perkins, calling the religious right to stop giving money to the GOP because of their recent lesbian bondage bar scandal:
"I've hinted at this before, but now I am saying it -- don't give money to the RNC. If you want to put money into the political process, and I encourage you to do so, give directly to candidates who you know reflect your values. Better yet, become a member of FRC Action and learn about the benefits it offers, including participating in the FRC Action PAC which can support candidates who will advance faith, family and freedom."

Dancing With The Stars judge Bruno Tonioli on Kate Gosselin:
"Kate is pretty dreadful. She's crap. She's entertaining, [how] people like disaster movies — I'll tell you, we have our own disaster movie. 2012 is nothing compared to the catastrophe she produces."

I Ain't One To Gossip, But..................

I don't get Charlie Sheen.
I don't see talented actor or TV comedy star. I see alcoholic, drug addicted, serial groom, with a penchant for spousal battery. I don't see why a woman, any woman, would want to hook her wagon, as it were, to his star.
Except for the fact that, as the :::cough cough::: star of that :::cough cough::: hit show, Two And A Half Men, Sheen makes $20 million a year.
So, please to explain, what the frig is wrong with people that they want to marry this loser, let him beat them, and then go back to him? Please to explain, why a TV network, and I'm lookin' at you CBS, would spend $20 million a year on this asshat?
Hey CBS! I can do his job for a tenth of what you pay him and you wouldn't have to worry about me getting arrested or going to rehab or divorces or battery charges or being addicted to porn...okay, let me have that last one, because I promise it won't keep me from showing up to work.

This is scary, but I kind of like Victoria Beckham. Now, to be fair, I'd really only want to be her friend to get close to her husband :::::yum::::: but she is quite funny. And, yes, almost human.
I saw her on The View this week and she seemed far less alien than she looks. She was quite funny, at times, though, I must say, to hear her talk about how the CFDA [Council of Fashion Designers of America] was working to keep underage models and Number 2 pencil thin models off the runway, was a hoot.
I mean, Posh Spice, who allegedly had ribs removed so she could be a size -4, who hasn't eaten solid food since 1995, talking about too thin models? Joy Behar laughed so hard she blew Posh off the couch.
Posh Spice talking about ridding the runways of the world of too thin models is like me talking about reducing the bitchy catty attitude of gay men.
What?

Justin Timberlake is gay.
Yup, big old queen. Okay, he might not be gay [openly] but he is a big old prissy boy.
And a bitchy one at that.
But he needs his space and he longs for his privacy. How Garbo of him.
He was having a show from his design collection ::::i know....funny.....right::::: the William Rast collection, last week, and he made certain that all staff members at the venue signed a Don't-Look-At-Me-Talk-To-Me-Breathe-On-Me-Or-Speak-My-Name gag order. He also made certain that much of the venue was closed to every one but, well, him.
Queeeeeeeeen.
Everyone else, from stylists, models, assistants, coordinators and anyone who worked on the show was crammed into a corner so Justin could roam freely, and alone.
Bitch please. It's not like you're Jennifer Lopez.

Vanity Fair always does a New Hollywood issue, featuring all the new talent out there, just aching for a trip on the Casting Couch. Trouble is, as usual, their New Hollywood, is skinny, pasty, and white.
Not good news for Gabourey Sidibe, star of Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire. She wasn't asked to be anywhere near Vanity Fair as they readied their New Hollywood version. Seriously, one of the most break-out performances of the year, and she isn't asked to join the shoot.
I bet she's pissed.
Um, no, because Gabby takes the high road. Asked if she was upset at being excluded, Gabby said: “At first I thought, ‘Hmm, should I be there? Then I very quickly got over it. I think if I were a part of that shoot I would have felt a little left out anyway. I would have felt a little like… whether or not I should have been there. [It] doesn’t matter, because I wasn’t on it and I’m excited to be mentioned anywhere, and it doesn’t matter to me where I’m not mentioned.”
Gabby don't need no stinking Vanity Fair.

This has to be a joke.
It seems that producers of American Idol have lost their marbles. Word comes from somewhere, perhaps inside my head, that Paula Deen, of the FOOD Network, will come on the show as a guest judge this season.
Supposedly, the deal has been in the works for "weeks."
In related news, Randy Jackson will have his own Food Network Show called Dawg Bonz.

Pot.Kettle.Black.
Lisa Rinna, of big ginormous fake, pumped full of goddess knows what, lips fame, is flapping those enormous lips about Heidi "Media Whore" Montag.
She apparently tore the cover off of People magazine the week Heidi was featured because she didn't think it was appropriate for her own young girls to read about Heidi's Surgical Misadventure's.
See, in the Rinna house, you can't look at pictures of women who've gone off the plastic surgery deep end, unless it's a picture of mommy and her inflatable lips and breasts and frozen forehead.

Speaking of plastic surgery, Jane Fonda has gone the nip/tuck route. Again. At 72-years-old, Fonda, looking gorgeous, decided she needed some touch ups done in time for the DVD release of her new exercise video.
But, unlike Heidi and Rinna, Fonda cops to the knife talk, and jokes about it:
"I just had some work done on my chin and neck and had the bags taken away from under my eyes so I decided it would be a good idea to get a new haircut so people will think it's my new hair."
Fool 'em with a new 'do, Jane.
Brazilliant!

I loves me some Judge Judy.
I admit it. I'm an addict, and I will not be joining any 12-step program to cure myself of Judy.
And, obviously, I'm not the only one.
Judy's show has been on the number one spot against any other syndicated half hour court show for 700 consecutive weeks! Thirteen freakin' years!
So, Judge Alex, and Judge Mathis and Judge Fill In The Blank, keep plugging along, because you'll never catch her.
In fact, she's even out-Oprah's Oprah a few times.
Makes me love her even more.

Peta has a Hit List, and Catherine Zeta-Jones is right up there, at the top!
The animal activist group has named Zeta-Jones their Worst Dressed Celeb of the year for her extensive wardrobe of animal skins and fur:
"With her creepy cow-skin pants, ugly fox coat, and icky alligator bag, Catherine Zeta-Jones looks like she’s working her way through Noah’s ark with a knife. Maybe she’s trying to get into character for an upcoming role as a serial killer--or a taxidermist."
Michael Douglas should be careful. apparently Catherine is fond of leathery looking handbags and he has just the face for it.