I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

A month ago, during an interview with Variety, Kim Kardastrophe claimed that nobody wanted to work anymore, and that her only advice to women in business would be:

“Get your fucking ass up and work.”

And since the statement came out on International Women’s Day Kimmy was hit with scads of backlash, eye rolls, and questions about how she is one to talk since she jumpstarted her “career” by making a sex tape her mother could sell to a porn distributor. And Kim foot-stomped and head-snapped and said the statement was taken out of context except … Variety is saying those are Kim’s words and she needs to own them.

According to Variety, there is an interview video that proves Kimmy was asked:

“What’s your best advice for women in business?”

And she said get to fucking work.

I guess, given how she started her career, she meant to say get to work fucking.

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Last year Ashley Tisdale moved into a new house and began fancying herself an interior designer. She dove headfirst into decorating her new LA pad by scouring that luxe design site … Instagram. But it all paid off because … drum roll … Tisdale scored a coveted celebrity home tour with Architectural Digest! 

The tour begins in Ashley’s “very bright, very Zen” living room, where she shows off her Mario Bellini sofa, antique wicker chairs, marble coffee table, and built-in bookshelves. Oh, so nice, so chic, so tasteful, so fake. See, Tisdale couldn’t stop giggling and told the camera crew that the bookshelves were empty until right before the crew came to record the tour.

Tisdale tells us that she sent her husband, Christopher French, to a bookstore to buy 400 books so their shelves would look full.

Seriously? She couldn’t put art on the shelves, flowers, anything other than 400 random books she bought to look well-read.

I only wish whoever was running the video shoot had asked Ashley to discuss her book collection.

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So, while a lot of folks witnessed that Oscar Slap, there was another smackdown on Oscar night involving one Lady Gaga and one Caitlyn Jenner, and on this one I fall squarely onto Team Gaga.

Gaga, not nominated this year for her accent, skipped the Oscars red carpet, and went to Elton John’s Oscar bash. But I’m guessing security was lacking because one Caitlyn Jenner was allowed to tread the same cream-colored carpet as Gaga and stopped the star to discuss coffee. In a video shared to social media, Caitlyn wanders up to Gaga and asks:

“Are you spending time around Malibu anymore?”

Gaga simply says, “Yes,” and so Caitlyn, who didn’t get the clue to walk away, quickly, wades in deeper and says:

“I haven’t seen you at the Starbucks in a while.”

Gaga, looking a little Who Are You and Why Are You Talking To Me, simply said:

“I’ve switched baristas.”

And walked away.

Note to Little Will Smith: that’s how you slap down.

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Lock up your liquor cabinets and your houses if actor Ezra Miller is coming to town.

The 29-year-old actor—pronouns are they and them—was arrested at a bar in Hilo, Hawaii after ALLEGEDLY shrieking at people, snatching a microphone from a woman singing karaoke, and going after a guy playing darts. Miller was booked on disorderly conduct charges and paid their $500 bail.

This mess started Sunday night when the Hawai’i County Police Department got a call about Drunken Mess, party of one, who was bothering everyone at a bar. The owner of the bar says he asked Miller several times to take it down a notch, but they did not, and so the police were called.

And then it got worse; two Hilo residents filed for a temporary restraining order against Miller claiming he harassed and threatened them.

He had ALLEGEDLY been staying at the couple’s home while in Hawaii, after they met the couple at a farmer’s market. In fact, after that bar skirmish, it was that couple who paid Miller’s bail and brought them back to their home where Miller ALLEGEDLY barged into their bedroom and threatened the male victim by saying "I will bury you and your slut wife’.” The couple also claims Miller stole some personal belongings, including a social security card, wallet, passport, driver’s license and bank cards.

This is not Miller’s first time at being, um, disorderly in public. They were arrested in Pennsylvania for disorderly conduct and drug possession, though those charges were reduced to two citations of disorderly conduct.

In 2020, Miller was escorted out of a bar in Iceland for ALLEGEDLY choking a fan, and in January of this year, they posted an Instagram video telling members of a KKK chapter in North Carolina to kill themselves and threatened to shoot them.

Ezra’s big DC movie, The Flash, comes out next year, and they’re also in Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore, which comes out next month. Sheesh, just when those Fantastic Beasts actors thought they were done talking about disorderly co-stars when Johnny Depp was fired from the film, and now Ezra Miller has stepped up to the Hot Mess Plate.

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One more story of the slap and I just might be done, thanks to Daniel Radcliffe.

The Harry Potter actor was hoping to stay away from the ongoing discourse surrounding Will Smith’s Hissy Fit and gave the best response when he was asked again what he thought about it.

While appearing on “Good Morning Britain” to promote his new movie, The Lost City, Radcliffe was asked about that slap and smartly said:

“I’m just so already dramatically bored of hearing people’s opinions about it that I just don’t want to be another opinion.”

Thanks Harry, er, Daniel.

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Bobservations

It seems just like last week—because it was—when _____ was rallying and shouting and inciting fear, and generally having what he calls a good time, just ahead of the midterms. Then …

… the midterms; and his party, and _____, had their asses handed to them and now he is lost and sullen and bitter. Maybe it has something to do with incoming Democratic House majority going after his tax returns and investigating his other illegal actions.

Sorry …not sorry.

Speaking of sad _____s, Melanie has asked for Deputy National Security adviser Mira Ricardel, to be fired, after Ricardel ALLEGEDLY had a series of run-ins with the Melanie’s office, who released this statement:

“It is the position of the Office of the First Lady that she no longer deserves the honor of serving in this White House.”

That’s an extraordinary, if not unprecedented, move for a First lady, but then so is posing with your coochie out.

While the students of Parkland banded together to demand gun control after the shooting at their school, the students at Baraboo High School decided to give a Nazi salute in a prom photo last spring.

Now that the photo has gone viral, they’re all trying to spin it, but it’s hard to spin all those students holding their arms in the exact same position at the exact same moment … and then laughing while they do it.

Asshats; sheep.

I dunno, should he be called Lord Gaga?

At a couple of premieres for Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald Ezra Miller is doing his level best to make the promotion interesting.

And I think Gaga might be nervous that someone is stepping on her drag.

We all know _____ cancelled trips to both the Aisne-Marne American cemetery in France—where 1,800 Americans died—and a follow-up visit to Arlington on Veteran’s Day because it was raining.

I guess he was right about that Robert Mueller witch hunt; apparently, if he gets wet, he’ll melt? Or, he’s just an over-indulgent, narcissistic, bloated, whining man-baby.

Oh, and also, while in Paris, when seventy world leaders walked to the Arc de Triomphe, marking 100 years since the end of World War I, there were just two world leaders who didn’t participate:

Putin and ____. Maybe they were having special alone time?

Down in the land of my birth, Mississippi, GOP Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith is in a runoff election against Democrat Mike Espy, and at a recent event where rancher Colin Hutchinson praised her, Hyde-Smith actually said:

“If he invited me to a public hanging, I’d be on the front row.”

In Mississippi. Where’s she’s in a runoff with a Black man; Mississippi, which has a long and brutal history of lynchings and public executions of African American citizens.

But hey, she supports _____ and he supports her, so is anyone surprised?

Speaking of Veteran’s Day at Arlington, while _____couldn’t get his rug wet, guess who showed up to honor American veterans?

The French.

Our president couldn’t be bothered but the French …

Lucy McBath, a member of Mothers of the Movement, a group of black women who have lost children to gun violence, has won her election to represent Georgia’s 6th Congressional District—a seat the GOP has held for 30 years.

McBath is the mother of Jordan Davis, a 17-year-old young man who was shot to death by a white man who thought Davis was playing music too loudly outside a Florida gas station.

And now she’s in Congress in Georgia. Brava!

Rumor has it that Hillary Clinton will try to reinvent herself “as a liberal firebrand” and run for president again in 2020.

Please, for the love of the goddess, Hillary, just stay home. We are in a Blue Wave and need some new faces, some strong, faces. You’ve had your chance, twice; let it go.

Oh, and that goes for you, too, Bernie.

It appears that _____is planning to fire Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen very soon.

Poor girl; how is she gonna torture more families and lock more children up in cages if she’s out of a job. Bye bitch.

Finally, it’s a cold wet Thursday in Smallville, and I need a little Henry Cavill to heat things up, especially with his new longer, luscious, curly hair.

And while we’re at it let’s throw in Jay Hayden and Sterling Sulieman, who play gay lovers on ABC’s Station 19; we don’t watch, but I did catch a glimpse of a rather passionate love scene between the two men.

My how TV has changed since Lucy and Ricky slept in double beds.

Just sayin’.

I Didn't Say It ...

Ronan Farrow, on Harvey Weinstein’s move to smear his alleged victimns before the story, er, stories, broke:

“He began to hire private security agencies to collect information on the women and the journalists trying to expose the allegations. According to dozens of pages of documents, and seven people directly involved in the effort, the firms that Weinstein hired included Kroll, which is one of the world’s largest corporate-intelligence companies, and Black Cube, an enterprise run largely by former officers of Mossad and other Israeli intelligence agencies.”

All that to cover-up the fact that he is a sexual predator.

And one wonders why victims, especially victims of powerful men, don’t come forward? Maybe it’s because the arsenal people like Weinstein collect to victim blame.

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Ken Paxton, Texas Attorney General, urging Texans to bring more guns into churches:

“All I can say is, you know, in Texas at least we have the opportunity to have concealed-carry, And so if it’s a place where somebody has the ability to carry, there’s always the opportunity that gunman will be taken out before he has the opportunity to kill very many people.”

Yes, more people with guns firing them in a tiny, crowded church is the solution.

Oh, Texas, this is what you want? This is what you believe?

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Michael Che, SNL’s Weekend Update co-anchor, coming for _____:

“I’m tired of watching the president of the United States have an emotional breakdown on Twitter like he’s Tyrese. If you want to live-Tweet ‘Morning Joe’ or ‘Cupcake Wars’ or whatever you watch, fine, but indictments are important and you work for us. So go put on your baggy suit, fold your hair nice, and answer all of our questions face-to-face like the public servant that you are.”

Demand answers.

That Fat Bastard works for us.

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Brian Stelter, CNN, calling out Kellyanne Conway for her misinformation—and that means lies, y’all—about the Steele Dossier being completely unverified:

“Parts of it have been verified. That is misinformation that you’re spreading on my program Kellyanne, and I don’t appreciate it. Much of the dossier, you just said the entire dossier is unverified. That is inaccurate…Pieces of the dossier have been verified, and when you say it’s unverified, you actually mislead the American people.”

Lie. She lies. They all lie. And then they try to spin the lie. But it’s still lies.

I wanna see more people calling this b*tch out, and the entire _____ team, when they lie.

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Tim Cook,  Apple CEO talks about the dangers of social media:

“I don’t believe the big issue are ads from foreign governments. I believe that’s like .1 percent of the issue. The bigger issue is that some of these tools are used to divide people, to manipulate people, to get fake news to people in broad numbers so as to influence their thinking. This to me is the No. 1 through 10 issue.”

So says the man who has helped create devices that allow this sort of thing to happen. Sure, people need to be more diligent and realize that a meme isn’t news, and to investigate what they read on social media, but I still find it odd that Tim Cook is warning of the dangers of social media when that’s what pads his bank accounts.

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Jenny Hagel, Late Night writer, on Kevin Spacey’s offensive decision to come out as gay in response to allegations of sexual assault:

“I’m gay, and as a gay woman, I have a lot of problems with Kevin Spacey’s statement. It is inappropriate to respond to an accusation of pedophilia by saying ‘I’m gay’. Those things are totally unrelated. The only appropriate response to ‘you tried to have sex with a 14-year old’ is ‘I am also a 14-year old.’ [And to blame it on being drunk] makes it sound like every gay person is two beers away from molesting a kid. I’m not. I’m two beers away from singing ‘Come to My Window’ at karaoke. And three beers away from singing it from my window. [And] now you choose to live as a gay man, after you threw us all under the bus? That’s like  saying ‘I told everyone you’re an asshole. Now I choose to come to your dinner party.’ Too late you’re not invited anymore. The gay community has been made up of brave, brilliant people like Alan Turing and Audre Lorde and Billie Jean King. You’re not in the gay community, you’re in the creep community. Go celebrate creep pride, and throw a little creep parade, and leave us out of it.”

Bravo.

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Joanna Krupa, a former “real housewife” on the canceled Real Housewives of Miami, coming to the defense of Jeremy Piven over allegations that he sexually assaulted several women:

“I love Jeremy Piven, like I’ve known Jeremy Piven for a very long time. He’s like the nicest f—king guy I’ve ever met. Jeremy never did anything wrong to me. He’s always been an amazing friend to me, so I support him. I knew about Harvey Weinstein over 10 years ago. Do I have any issues with him? No. I hope this whole situation gets better and people in Hollywood actually get hired for their talent. So I think people are taking advantage of the whole situation with Weinstein, and they’re trying to make a living or they’re trying to get famous.”

Indeed, cuz nothing says ‘Hire me’ like Harvey Weinstein tried to rape me. Nothing says I wanna be famous like ‘Jeremy Piven groped me.’

Way to victim blame you dim bulb.

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Ezra Miller, openly gay actor, on the reaction to his “coming out”:

“I was told, when I gave that interview ... This is an interesting thing to talk about. I was told by a lot of people I’d made a mistake. Folks in the industry, folks outside the industry. People I’ve never spoken to. They said there’s a reason so many gay, queer, gender-fluid people in Hollywood conceal their sexual identity, or their gender identity in their public image. I was told I had done a ‘silly’ thing in ... thwarting my own potential to be a leading man. ‘You’ve made a mistake’ is such a hard thing to hear. Maybe if I’d actually made a serious mistake? But not for this. I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong, though there have been moments of doubt as a result of those conversations. But…what they said was, in fact, ‘rubbish’, as you might say. We are the ones. It’s up to us to manifest the world we want to exist in. But we’re ready. Humans are ready.”

And the ones who aren’t ready need to step out of the way and keep their mouths closed.

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Ezra Miller Comes Out

Ezra Miller, who played Tilda Swinton's son Kevin in We Need to Talk About Kevin, and is set to play a gay character in the upcoming Perks of Being a Wallflower, has come out:

“I’m queer. I have a lot of really wonderful friends who are of very different sexes and genders. I am very much in love with no one in particular. I’ve been trying to figure out relationships, you know? I don’t know if it’s responsible for kids of my age to be so aggressively pursuing monogamous binds, because I don’t think we’re ready for them. The romanticism within our culture dictates that that’s what you’re supposed to be looking for. Then [when] we find what we think is love -- even if it is love -- we do not yet have the tools. I do feel that it’s possible to be at this age unintentionally hurtful, just by being irresponsible -- which is fine. I’m super down with being irresponsible. I’m just trying to make sure my lack of responsibility no longer hurts people. That’s where I’m at in the boyfriend/girlfriend/zefriend type of question.”

Welcome out, Ezra, and for your openness and honesty Homo HQ will be sending you the obligatory Coming Out Toaster Oven and a copy of The Gay Agenda.