The Funny Papers

Adam Zyglis, Michael de Adder, Custodio, Randy Bish, Max Espinoza, Daniel Boris, Gary Huck, Nick Anderson, Tim Campbell, Bill Bramhall, Clay Bennett, Mike Luckovich, Matt Wuerker, Barry Blitt, Lalo Alcaraz

Ain't That America XXXII

Another week down, with a hit of good news from SCOTUS for a change which spurred a lie-filled rage speech from Cankles about the “Democratic SCOTUS;” poor delusional old man. And of course the State of the Union speech is Tuesday and the Democrats, many of them at least, may not show up, going instead to a rally on the National Mall.

I am not in favor. I think they should show up, and say and do nothing, other than perhaps raising small signs that could say anything from “Release the Files” to “Say Their Names,” or perhaps show photos of the victims demanding accountability from the regime.

That would rattle Cankles and send him off-script into an insane rage-a-thon, which I won’t be watching because I can neither look at his decaying personage nor listen to his ignorant voice.

That said …

Pope Leo has rejected Cankles’ invitation to “America 250” Festivities in Washington DC because he wants to spend the day with migrants instead.

That’s all.

 

Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent claimed that in spite of the Supreme Court’s decision to block Cankles’ illegal tariffs the regime would initiate new tariffs imposed under other statutes ensuring the revenue grift remains unchanged. He also said Americans who paid for the tariffs through higher prices will never see a rebate of that money.

Grifters gonna grift.

 

At DHS new Secret Service protective detail agents are getting  a wardrobe upgrade courtesy of taxpayers because adulterous dog-killer Kristi Noem doesn’t like the suits they bought for themselves.

So We The People will buy them new clothes cuz … grifters gonna grift.

 

Nationalist Christian, or Nat-C as I think of him,  Speaker Mike Johnson has denied a request by Reverend Jesse Jackson’s family to his body lie in honor in the Capitol.

The Little Johnson says the practice is reserved for former presidents and select former government officials and military honorees but the honor was given to Reverend Billy Graham in 2018.

But not Jackson; that sounds about white coming from Nat-C Johnson.

 

Butler, Ohio Mayor, and a Republican,  Wesley Dingus is facing two counts of voyeurism after he was allegedly caught on camera sniffing a teen girl’s underwear.

The party of pedophiles.

 

Oh, and the husband of Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer has been barred from the department’s headquarters after at least two female staff members told officials that he had sexually assaulted them.

The party of sexual predators.

 

A large banner featuring Cankles’ bloated face was hung on the exterior of Justice Department headquarters.

They’re putting up pedophile’s pictures at the DOJ cuz, you know, the party of pedophiles.

 

Roughly 80% of career leadership at the ICEstapo  has been fired or demoted under DogKiller Kristi Noem’s tenure as she and her lover, Corey Lewandowski have targeted employees for allegedly talking to the press.

 

The Republican Party of Eau Claire County headquarters in Altoona was vandalized overnight when the windows were spray-painted with the phrase ‘pedophile protectors,’ and around a dozen eggs were thrown onto the building.

Truth in advertising.

 

The FBI formally notified the Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension [BCA] that it will not provide them with access to any information or evidence that it has collected in the January 24 ICEstapo murder of Alex Pretti.

Coverup.

In February 2026, a rumor spread that Bo French, a GOP candidate for the Texas Railroad Commission, which regulates oil and gas, wanted to deport Native Americans. Several social media posts made the claim, including on Facebook, where one user said French had called for the deportation of “third world savages” including Native Americans. French says it never happened but here’s a direct quote from his X account:

“Since we are going to denaturalize and deport all the third world savages who hate our country, I am calling for adding these third world savages, who we conquered, then bizarrely let have a nation inside our nation, to the list. “

We let native peoples have a nation in our nation? Or did we steal their nation to create our own, give them a few crumbs of land and then take it back.

Look in a mirror, Bo; that’s the enemy.

And what do we do with the enemy

Bobservations

Another tale of Carlos and Siri … the other night I was leaving work, and I texted Carlos:

“Leaving soon.”

He responded:

“OK, dinner is ready.”

“Okurrrrr.”

“OK, dinner is ready.”

“Um, you said that twice.”

“I think Siri is getting snippy with me.”

“He probably was.”

Now I have to contend with Carlos and Snippy Siri. Oy.

Once again, Tuxedo has been slogging through my Twitter feed and struck Comedy Gold!

Always remember to tip your bartender, especially if you’re going to commit arson later that night.

A tourist made a big impression in a Key West bar by running up a New Year’s Eve bar tab without leaving a tip. See, after that tourist left the bar a webcam showed him, and a couple of other vandals, set fire to a Christmas tree which also damaged Key West’s landmark buoy marking the southernmost point in the United States to the tune of $5,000.

When the video hit the news, the bartenders the tourist stiffed recognized him and informed police.

Always tip.

I got a new hat for winter but it doesn’t go with anything I own so I choose to wear it  that way.

I have a birthday coming up, and this week that little chocolate gift arrived from one of my besties, Laura, from California.

For some reason, and neither of us remembers why, I call her Nora … so, Thanks again Nora!

Emily Hernandez from Missouri has pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor for entering the Capitol on January 6. Hernandez was one of the morons who posed for pictures with objects stolen from the offices of members of Congress—well, not the ones who helped plan the insurrection—and was seen holding a fragment of a sign from House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's office. She faces a maximum one year in prison and $100,000 fine.

And then there’s her drunk driving arrest; Hernandez was driving west in the eastbound lanes of Interstate 44 when she crashed into a car heading east. Victoria Wilson, a passenger in the car, was killed, and her husband Ryan, who was driving, was seriously injured and taken to a hospital.

In the words of MAGATs everywhere: Lock. Her. Up.

The Texas Republican Party put out an odd message on Twitter that immediately sparked a wave of criticism because it said:

“If you can wait in line for a covid test, you can wait in line to vote.”

The Texas GOP employees behind the account took note of the fast reaction to the tweet and followed up with two replies, both ignorant and clueless and rude:

“Wow, this made the pronouns in bio people big mad.”

“Masks are dumb.”

The Texas GOP has chosen to run on the very populist platform of “you should wait on long lines for everything.”

Texas, where everything is bigger, and more ignorant.

The other day as I was walking out of the Goodwill store, I noticed a woman crying because she’d just lost $200. So I gave her $40 of the $200 I’d just found.

When God blesses you, you need to bless others.

Kilian Izaak Zeugin, who simply goes by Killian Izaak, is a Swiss-Spanish model and begs the question: Would you hit it?

Triple Dose of Karma

Michael Lofthouse, the CEO IT firm Solid8, was captured on film at a Carmel Valley restaurant telling an Asian family to “go back to whatever fucking Asian country you’re from” and shouting “Fuck you Asians” and “You don’t belong here.” He also called them “a piece of shit” and warned them that “_____’s gonna fuck you.”

And, as happened when these racists realize their hate made it to social media, Fuckwit Lofthouse issued a lame apology:

“My behavior in the video is appalling. This was clearly a moment where I lost control and made incredibly hurtful and divisive comments. I would like to deeply apologize to the Chan family. I can only imagine the stress and pain they feel. I was taught to respect people of all races, and I will take the time to reflect on my actions and work to better understand the inequality that so many of those around me face every day.”

You weren’t taught respect you racist; if you had been, those words would have never left your mouth. And I can only imagine you’re apologizing now because your brand is being hurt and you’re losing coins.

Sorry, not sorry.

In California, the town of Martinez authorized the painting of a Black Lives Matter mural on a city street. Less than an hour later, racists and morons, Nicole Anderson, 42, and David Nelson, 53, took it upon themselves to buy a can of paint and remove the mural from the street.

Well, Nicole painted, while racist and misogynist David filmed her and shouted at passersby:

“We’re sick of this narrative … The narrative of police brutality. The narrative of oppression. The narrative of racism. It’s a lie. There is no oppression. There is no racism. It’s a leftist lie. It’s a lie from the media, the liberal left.”

He then added, proving he’s an ignorant racist:

 “Why don’t you guys learn about history. The emancipation proclamation act. Yeah, that’s right, Abraham Lincoln. You’re only free because of our forefathers.”

Yesterday, the Contra Costa County District Attorney charged ‘Karen’ and ‘Ken’ with Violation of Civil Rights, which is a hate crime, Vandalism Under $400, and Possession of Tools to Commit Vandalism or Graffiti. Each faces up to a year in county jail.

Good. Bye.

And finally, a man wearing a “Running the World Since 1776′ t-shirt was captured on video flipping out at a Costco in Fort Myers after an elderly woman asked him to wear a mask. He began shrieking at the woman, and then running up on her and a passerby who whipped out his phone to tape the madness, saying they were threatening him … with a request to wear a mask and a cell phone?

Yesterday the man was identified as  Daniel Maples, a top-selling insurance broker at Ted Todd Insurance. Shortly after being identified, Daniel was fired from his job by company CEO Charley Todd, who said:

“Thank you to everyone for their comments and messages raising awareness about a former employee at Ted Todd Insurance. Their behavior in the video is in direct conflict with our company values and their employment has been terminated. Threatening behavior and intimidation go against our core mission to be trusted advisors in our community. We are also committed to immediately reviewing our internal existing culture at TTI.”

Shine a light on racists and they slither away, get arrested, lose their jobs, or find their businesses suffering.

Again, sorry, not sorry.

Stories of Pride: Bigots Tried To Ruin Timisoara's First Pride, But Couldn't

The LGBT community in Timișoara, Romania, recently faced an onslaught of homophobic graffiti and came up with the best way of dealing with it.

The city hosted its first ever Pride festival in early June, but in order to avoid a negative reaction, the plan was to forgo a public parade and instead focus on cultural events such as, theatre, music and art exhibitions. The city’s beloved national theatre hosted one of the events and became the target of homophobes.

Last week, an unknown assailant painted a cross over the window that displayed a poster designed by the famous artist, Ovidiu Hrin, for the Pride event. A photo of the graffiti was shared all over Facebook, and finally someone came by and washed it off.

The homophobe, or homopbobes, returned and painted on the glass again.

No one wanted this to turn into a back-and-forth of vandalism and cleaning it off, so another local artist, Benedek Levente, converted the cross into a vertical rainbow flag. He left a space for the message of the original poster –“How do you choose to see the world?”—to shine through.

And it did. Timișoara fought for Pride; it fought the highly influential Orthodox Church for Pride. Last year the church managed to convince lawmakers to hold a referendum on changing the country’s constitution to define marriage as only between a man and a woman, but voted down that proposal in October’s referendum.

And decided to have a Pride festival to celebrate.

Still, Orthodox priests stood outside events, praying, and another group of men infiltrated an event wearing ‘Jesus is risen’ t-shirts, and organizers received threats of violence, affirming their decision to keep the visibility of Pride to a minimum … for now.

But they held Pride, and they have Pride, and they will not stand down for bigotry and hatred. This may have been their first Pride, but there are more to come, in Timișoara and all over Romania.

The march goes on, worldwide …

Gay Star News

Melissa Shelton Is A Racist

Melissa Shelton is a racist. And clearly emboldened to spout her racism, and vandalism, because we have a racist in the white house.

Shelton lives in Texas, because, of course, and was indicted last week on charges of felony mischief after authorities say she smashed the car windows of an interracial couple.

That couple, Jason and Victoria Chapa—Jason is Mexican American, and Victoria is African American—had the nerve to be looking at a home to buy in racist Melissa Shelton’s neighborhood.

Back on December 10, Jason and Victoria Chapa were leaving a family gathering in Marion, Texas, when they decided to check out a potential home in a new development. They drove to the house, got out of their car and began to walk around the house; as they looked at the back yard, they heard glass shatter and ran back out front to find Melissa Shelton, a white supremacist racist ignorant tool of a woman smashing their front windshield and back driver’s side window.

When Jason and Victoria, clearly shocked by the racist’s behavior, asked what the hell was going on, Shelton began screaming racist slurs at them, calling them “n*****s” and “sp*cs” who were too poor to move into her neighborhood.

The Chapas called 911 and when two deputies arrived on the scene, Melissa Shelton and her racist friend, Mason Mycue, told the police that they had just arrived home when the Chapas approached and accused them of vandalizing their car.

The Chapas say that when Mycue realized that Shelton had been caught in the act, he offered to pay for the broken windows; he was not indicted on any charges related to the incident because you cannot charge people with being an accessory to hate.

But that’s all that happened; the local police did nothing; the neighborhood homeowner’s association, and the local realtors, also did nothing. The Marion Police Department did not issue Shelton a citation but after weeks of inaction and public pressure, the department turned over the police report taken at the scene to the Guadalupe County District Attorney’s Office. And a grand jury indicted racist Melissa Shelton last week.

Let me make this queer for all you racists out there: be a racist if that’s what you want; live a life of hating anyone who looks differently then you, or speaks differently than you, or loves differently than you.

But when you decide to use your racist asshatted backwoods bigotry to damage someone’s property, or harm someone, we will come for you.

Hate all you want but hate in silence because no one has time for you, and soon, sooner than you think, the racist in the White House will be gone and you’ll all be scurrying back under your rocks.

But we’ll remember you, Melissa Shelton, and all you other racists.

We’ll remember.

The Root

A Gay Couple's Home Was Vandalized, And What The Neighbors Did Next Was Shocking

Shortly after the Orlando massacre, Cari and Lauri Ryding hung a Rainbow flag outside their home as a sign of solidarity. They had  always felt welcome on Strawberry Hill Road in Natwick and so they knew that hanging the LGBTQ Pride flag was the right thing to do.

But, after returning from vacation they found that their flag had been stolen and their house and porch had been pelted with eggs. Cari said they were in shock, after having lived so peacefully in the neighborhood, but it was what happened next that really stunned the couple.

After alerting the local police, they posted questions to Facebook, asking the neighbors if anyone had seen anything; no one did and still there are no suspects. But the Ryding’s neighbors were outraged, and one neighbor, Maura Gaughan, sprang into action. She contacted the Rainbow Peace Flag Project, a local organization that gives away flags to Natick-area residents.

And on the next Sunday morning a group of neighborhood children on bicycles delivered rainbow flags to each and every house on the block; and one by one, every house was decorated with a Rainbow flag emblazoned with the word “Peace.”

“It just happened so quickly — the whole neighborhood said, ‘Get me a flag. Get me a flag. Get me a flag.’ If we can stop whatever hate is out there, I think that’s really important.” — Penni Rochwerger, a neighbor

Lauri Ryding was busy cleaning off the eggs from her porch when she spotted a Pride flag, and as she walked through the neighborhood she saw more and more; on doors and fences; flying high from a flagpole; hanging on a gate.

Lois McGillivray has lived on Strawberry Hill Road for 50 years and she was one of the first to fly the Pride flag:

“I have never met anyone who would do what that person did to that house. This is a place where nobody bothers anybody, no matter how you want to live, as long as you’re not digging up the garden and throwing the dirt in my yard.”

Neil Podolski is Jewish, and he instantly took a flag to fly in front of his home:

“It’s just not right. Who’s to say tomorrow we don’t find a swastika on our house?”

The Ryding’s, after finding their home vandalized, did what most of us might do: they thought of leaving, feeling that maybe the neighborhood wasn’t so safe. But what the neighbors did, in solidarity, “completely overshadowed that fear and we are just overwhelmed with the kindness and generosity.”

All in all, there are now forty houses on Strawberry Hill Road m and the surrounding neighborhood, flying the Pride flag in Peace.

Times do change, y’all. 

Boston Globe

Again I Wonder: Who Are The Terrorists ... Muslims Protect Christians At Christmas Mass

Damn those Muslims! If they keep doing things like this, some folks around the world, and especially here in this country might have to rethink that whole ‘Muslims are terrorists’ mantra.

Just before the Christmas Midnight Mass at the Lens church in Pas-de-Calais, in northern France, members of the Muslim community arrived to guard Christians, while they prayed and enjoyed their mass.

After the French Interior Minister Bernard Cazeneuve called for higher levels of security at the entrance of churches during Christmas Mass, Hashim El Jazaoui, Secretary of the Union of Muslim Citizens [UCM] in Pas-de-Calais organized the gathering of Muslims to protect Christians as they worshipped:

 “We want to say that we are all together. We are brothers. We are in the same boat. If the boat sinks, we all sink. If mentally ill people want to kill us, they will have to kill us all together.”

Brahim Aït Moussa, another member of UCM:

“It’s above all – a message of love. Nowadays, we find it hard to tell people we love that we love them. We have a hard time to heart it too.”

And so these men stood outside the Lens church, silently protecting the Christians who has gathered inside, a gesture that was acknowledged during the service by Father Lemblé,  who ended his prayer by giving the ‘Bethlehem light’, symbolizing peace to members of the Muslim community.

Meanwhile, in America, that same week, and in the preceding months, vandals defaced the Islamic Center of Pflugerville, Texas, just north of Austin. Worshippers arrived for prayer to find pages ripped from the Quran and feces flung along the front of the building,

In Louisville, Kentucky, several anti-Islamic messages were spray-painted in red on Louisville Islamic Center … "Nazis speak Arabic" …  "Moslems [sic] — leave the Jews alone" … "This is for France."

Out in Hawthorne, California, vandals spray-painted graffiti at two mosques and left a device that looked like a hand grenade in the driveway of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community Baitus-Salaam Mosque 

And in Burlington, Massachusetts, police are looking for three men they say were involved in spray-painting “USA” repeatedly on the exterior walls of the Islamic Center of Burlington. 

These are but a few cases of anti-Muslim violence around this country in recent months, but it does beg the question:

Who are the real terrorists? The Muslims protecting Christians while they worship, or the vandals and lunatics attacking Muslim places of worship in this country.

Muslims are not terrorists; terrorists are terrorists.

Morocco World News

Texas Man Bullies Muslims Inside A Mosque ... Where's The Outrage?

And … cue the chorus … because I’ll keep singing it …

Muslims aren’t terrorists, terrorists are terrorists.

And the wingnuts who’ve been fanning the flames that Muslims are terrorists now have some ‘splaining to do — though I think they’ll stay silent ion this one — after what happened in San Antonio, Texas last week.

A man — identified as 38-year-old Mariano Talavera — in army fatigues and waving an American flag entered the Islamic Center of San Antonio where members were praying, and began wiping his boots on their prayer rugs because … Muslim.

The worshippers tried to calm Talavera down, even asking him politely to remove his boots as a sign of respect; Muslims remove their shoes before entering a mosque to symbolize a "clean space" in which to worship. 

But Talavera responded by walking deeper into the mosque and into a prayer room reserved for women so he could wipe his boots on every mat he saw while yelling obscenities and cursing Islam.  

The police, who arrived after mosque members called them, asked Talavera why he was there, he said he’d come to worship. The police, rightly so, arrested him on a criminal trespass charge, confiscated his backpack, and removed him from the mosque.

Good. Lock him up, except … Solomon Hamide, president of the Islamic Center of San Antonio, says the mosque will not press charges because they fear additional backlash if there were to do so.

How is that American where a man can walk in to a place of worship and deface it and then, out of fear of reprisals, the mosque won’t press charges? Who is the actual purveyor of terror here?

Happily enough, not everyone in San Antonio shares the views and the lunacy of Mariano Talavera. Hamide said the Islamic Center has received many phone calls from the public offering their support, and he expressed his gratitude to them, especially a woman called Linda who invited members of the Islamic Center to her home for Thanksgiving. 

Oh the fury that people in this country would feel if a Muslim man walked into a Christian church and disrupted a prayer service and defaced any part of the church.

So I’ll keep singing …

Muslims aren’t terrorists, terrorists are terrorists.

NCRM

A Church Responds To Vandals With An LGBT Rainbow

Last month, up there in North Carolina, at the Wedgewood Church in Charlotte, someone spray-painted the front doors with the words:

Fags are Pedos.

Now, I don’t speak bigot, but I think they meant to say Homosexuals are pedophiles. Perhaps, as is the case with most homophobes, spelling doesn’t come easy, hence … pedos.

Still, it was a shock for parishioners at the church, known for its progressive views on religion; in fact, they even go so far as to post on their website that Wedgewood is a :::gasp::: “liberal” church, and brag that they actively opposed North Carolina’s ban on same-sex marriage, and believe that respecting LGBT people, members of other religions, and atheists as a “core beliefs.”  In fact, leaders added the phrase “LGBT Equality” to the church sign this summer, which no doubt lead to the graffiti.

“As a pastor I thought about all of the stories of rejection I’ve heard [from LGBT people] over the years.  That vandalism was a symbol of all of that negative stuff.” — Chris Ayers, the church’s pastor

And while Ayers called the incident “heart-piercing,” he and the members simply moved on as best they could, and set about to paint over the offensive, illiterate graffiti … with a rainbow flag.

“We didn’t want the focus to be on the damage to our church property, but on the damage that has been done to LGBT Christians through systematic abuse from so many — and, sadly, from so many denominations and Christians.”

Chris Ayers believes this new door means that “one’s sexual orientation and gender identity are not sins, but blessings from God [and] a celebration of the courage of LGBT people over the years to enable the progress that has been made recently. ... And, finally, it’s an example of positive, non-hateful response to homophobic people.”

The march goes on, and the folks at Wedgwood Church, lead by Pastor Ayers, are lighting the way …

Think Progress