Think Before You Speak

I have been known to say whatever comes to my mind whenever I want to say it. I think of myself as a much younger, male, gay, Sophia from The Golden Girls, who had a stroke and lost that part of the brain that censors speech. Sometimes I say it for a joke, and sometimes I say it for shock value. Sometimes I hurt people's feelings because I speak before I think, and that's a work in progress to fix; I try counting to three, but I get to about one-and-three-quarters and BAM out it comes.

But, and this is a big but, though not as big as a Christina Aguilera butt--see what I mean?--I am not a public figure, so when I say something obtuse, obscene, slightly funny, highly hilarious, or, yes, rude, it rarely makes the papers, and only makes the blogs if I post it myself.

So, it got me to thinking, why don't people in public positions think before they speak?

Exhibit A, at least for these last few months, would have to be Mitt Romney. I mean, he went to London and insulted an entire country. He regularly insults anyone who doesn't qualify as rich, and then says the most illogical things about opening windows on airplanes.

A breath, please, Mittsy, and maybe you wouldn't be the King of Gaffes this election season.

Still, not to be outdone would be one Ann Romney, pretentious "let them eat cake" wife of Mitt. First, she basically told all of us who question her husband to shut up, by telling us that “you people" aren't going to see Mitts taxes. Then she asked us to stop picking on her husband because running for president is hard--like being president is a cake walk--and then, and this astounds me, she told us that, while she believes Mittsy is the best man to fix the economy, she's worried about his "mental well-being" if elected.

Excuse me? Did you just say that your husband is the best man for the job, but that he's also kinda emotionally and stuff? Yeah, Ann, that's the guy I want with one finger on the button.

But that's politics, and they all say things without speaking, or as Obama said, of Mittsy, we "shoot first and aim later."

This brings me to Rupert Everett.

Years ago I rented a movie called Dance With A Stranger and I fell in lust with the dazzling Everett. I scoured the video store shelves--this was the century before NetFlix and OnDemand and computers and stuff--for anything with Rupert. That's where I found Rupert playing gay in Another Country, and that's when I learned that Rupert was gay in real life.

And my lust deepened. I liked that he was open and honest about who he was; it made me realize that coming out is and always will be the best thing a gay man or woman can do for themselves. But then Rupert, off-screen, without a script, began speaking, or shooting first....

He said gay actors should never come out of the closet because they'll never get work, even though, after coming out in 1987, Everett has almost never stopped working. Sure, maybe his career didn't explode--even after playing gay opposite Julia and Madonna--but maybe that's nothing to with his being openly gay. Maybe that's something to do with his talent, his ego, and his choices. He turned down a role in A Room With A View that made Daniel Day-Lewis a household name--at least in my house.

So, being gay doesn’t affect your career; I mean, maybe it would have in 1987, or even in the 90s, but definitely not these days. Case in point: husband-in-my-head, Matt Bomer, who is openly gay--he's got a partner of several years and three children-and yet has a very successful cable show and even played a male stripper, in a woman’s club, in the movies. he doesn’t seem to be suffering in his career because he's gay.

But Rupert doesn't stop. Lately he's been saying things about gay parents and same-sex marriage. He said, before he clarified, retracted and then re-clarified, that he doesn't think a child should have two same-sex parents, that they are better off with Mom and Dad.

And he doesn't like the idea of gays getting married, either, because, it’s a straight thing.

Well, Rupert, the light of my crush has been thoroughly extinguished, thanks to your inability to think before you speak, and your recent need for Botox by the barrel.

Rupert said: 

"For me, being gay was about wanting to do the opposite of the straight world, so I think that's where my problems in this particular area come from. For me, personally, the last thing I would like in the entire world would be to go through cocktailing my sperm with my boyfriend and finding some grim couple in Ohio who are gluten-free and who you pay $75,000 to have your baby. To me it feels absolutely hideous. But that's me, just me. I'm not having a go at gay couples who do. I think if Elton and David want to have babies, that's wonderful. I think we should all do what we want. Isn't there a middle way, where you can just say, 'Not for me, but it doesn't matter'? But no, everything's sort of turned into al-Qaida. I'm sure I'm going to be nail-bombed. David Furnish is probably going to send Patrick Cox with a bomb and blow up the theatre."

No, Rupert, he won't, because you're allowed to think what you want, just exactly like straight people, You're allowed to choose to cocktail your sperm, or not, like straight people. You're allowed to be a parent, or not, want a child, or not. That's what gay people want: equality. And you can, as a gay man, as part of a couple, or as a single man, choose, not to have children. No one’s saying you can’t, they’re simply saying you have the right to choose to be a parent, or not.

Not children--for all of us--and not marriage....Everett on marriage: 

"Why do queens want to go and get married in churches? Obviously this crusty old pathetic, Anglican church – the most joke-ish church of all jokey churches – of course they don't want to have queens getting married. It's kind of understandable that they don't; they're crusty old calcified freaks. But why do we want to get married in churches? I don't understand that, myself, personally. I loathe heterosexual weddings; I would never go to a wedding in my life. I loathe the flowers, I loathe the fucking wedding dress, the little bridal tiara. It's grotesque. It's just hideous. The wedding cake, the party, the champagne, the inevitable divorce two years later. It's just a waste of time in the heterosexual world, and in the homosexual world I find it personally beyond tragic that we want to ape this institution that is so clearly a disaster."

First off, not all marriages end in disaster, and if you want to stop the 50% that do, then let’s talk about divorce.  It’s not tragic to declare your love and commitment to one person; it’s love.

And, while I wouldn’t count myself among them, some gay folks want to get married in a church because they have a faith they want represented in their ceremony; they have a belief that, in God's eyes, the Goddess' eyes, that we are all equal and have the same rights to be married. Or not.

You don't want to get married, Rupert, because you think it's a little too straight, then don’t get married. You have that right. And, married or not, if you choose to have children, or not, again, that's your right. But don’t denigrate the institution of marriage for anyone that wants it, and don't downplay the role of gay men or women as parents.

Being a parent is about loving and nurturing a child, and anyone who wants to do that, who has the capability to do that, should be able to do that.

Being married is about making a long-term commitment to another person, and if you choose not to make that commitment, then don't make it. But don't put down those of us who'd like to be able say, "This is my husband, Carlos."

I Didn't Say It ....

Rupert Everett, on his gay dads comment: 

"The good news on this is I'm not applying for any sort of public office. I'm just an individual with my own life and the things I want to do myself. I'm not against anybody doing anything... I'm not one of those people who wants to say, 'Oh no, you can't do that, you have got to pull the clocks back'. Just I, personally, feel like that... I have loads of friends, gay friends, with children... I am not big into marriage, straight or gay, to be honest. I am very out of kilter with the rest of the world, I realise."

But then let the rest of the world do as we please. No one said you had to get married, Rupert, or become a father. We’re just fighting for the right to choose to get married, or not, and choose to become parents, or not.

Bill Graves, Oklahoma District Judge, using the Bible and DNA to deny transgender people a legal name change:

“A so-called sex-change surgery can make one appear to be the opposite sex, but in fact they are nothing more than an imitation of the opposite sex . . . To grant a name change in this case would be to assist that which is fraudulent. “It is notable that Genesis 1:27-28 states: ‘So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth …’ The DNA code shows God meant for them to stay male and female.”

First off, it isn’t a “so-called” sex change; it’s an actual gender reassignment surgery, so get that straight.

And if you want to use God and the Bible to run your daily life, go for it, but don’t impose your own limited world-view on others.

Judge not, lest ye be judged, Judge.

Herndon Graddick, GLAAD President, on having Intel coming out against the BSA antigay stance:

"Intel joins current Boy Scouts of America Board Members, President Obama, Mitt Romney and hundreds of thousands of Americans in speaking out against the BSA's practice of unfairly kicking out gay scouts and scout leaders simply because of who they are. All of the great work that the BSA does to help young people will continue to be overshadowed by their blatant discrimination until they join other inclusive national organizations like the Girl Scouts of the USA and the 4-H Club. The time is now for the BSA to side with fairness, otherwise they will continue to see sponsors and scouting families drop their support."

You can’t teach character when you have none, and that’s what the BSA is doing.

Madonna, um, “clarifying” her “black Muslim in the White House” comment:

"I was being ironic on stage. Yes I know Obama is not a Muslim (though I know that plenty of people in this country think he is.) And what if he were? The point I was making is that a good man is a good man no matter who he prays to. I don’t care what religion Obama is – nor should anyone else in America."

You weren’t being ironic; you were trying to garner publicity, which is why you showed your tits and ass onstage earlier this year, and why you carried a gun onstage after that, and why you put a swastika over someone’s photo after that.

You’re desperate and you’re pandering, two signs that you’re also over.

Dan Savage, on Mitt Romney's brand of homophobia:

"I don't make a distinction between an honest bigot and a dishonest bigot...Whether someone punches you in the nose because they really hate you, or they punch you in the nose because they want to impress people who hate you, you still have a broken goddamn nose. I'm not going to look into Mitt Romney's stony little heart, I'm not going to bust open that bank vault in the Cayman Islands and retrieve his heart to look at it. What I care about is policy. And his policies are homophobic and by my estimation, that man is a homophobe."

Can’t be any clearer. Mittsy can couch his views as being traditional, or Biblical, or Mormon, but they’re homophobic none-the-less. But, can we really expect him to be open to gay folks when he assaulted a gay classmate years ago because he didn’t like the boy’s hair?

Once a bigot, almost always a bigot.

Paris Hilton, backtracking from her “all gays have AIDS” moronic-ness:

"As anyone close to me knows, I always have been and always will be a huge supporter of the gay community. I am so sorry and so upset that I caused pain to my gay friends, fans and their families with the comments heard this morning. I was having this private conversation with a friend of mine who is gay and our conversation was in no way towards the entire gay community. It is the last thing that I would ever want to do and I cannot put into words how much I wish I could take back every word. HIV/AIDS can hurt anyone, gay and straight, men and women. It's something I take very seriously and should not have been thrown around in conversation."

First off, you cocaine smuggling moron, even in a private conversation what you said was wrong and disgusting and anti-gay.

Second off, you no talent drug mule, you are trying to get your name back in the press because whatever little career you had, being the party girl, is over. You’re old, Paris, and you’re still stupid, and you should simply stop talking forever.

Tony Perkins, of the FRC, on DADT and the anniversary of its repeal:

"Has America's military completely collapsed in the first year after repeal? Of course not--our service members are too professional to let that to happen. But these challenges are only a non-story because the media won't tell the story. We need only look at no-fault divorce in the 1970s to recognize that radical shifts in public policy take decades to fully manifest. No one can honestly deny the impact that no-fault divorce has had on children and the institution of the family. Within 20 years of the introduction of no-fault divorce, we saw the acceleration of cohabitation, single-parent homes, and unintended pregnancies. By the time Americans recognized their mistake, it was too late. Let's hope the same isn't true for our brave men and women in uniform."

It’s funny that it was just a year ago that Tony weans saying the end of DADT would bring about the collapse of our military, and now he’s saying it’ll take twenty years.

See, in twenty years, when it doesn’t happen, no one will even remember who Tony Perkins was or his special brand of hate.

And, Tony, if you really are against divorce, fight that fight, don't fight people who want to be married, fight those that marry and then divorce because marriage is hard

Lady Gaga, on the Pope’s opinion of marriage equality.

"I think that gay marriage is going to happen. It must. We are not actually equal—humanity—if we are not allowed to freely love one another... What the Pope thinks of being gay does not matter to the world. It matters to the people who like the Pope and follow the Pope... It is not a reflection of all religious people."

It’s a reflection of bigotry and intolerance, and homophobia and hate.

But, then, that’s the Catholic Church.

I Didn't Say It ....

Mitt Romney, in a prerecorded message for the Values Voter Summit:

"We will uphold the sanctity of life, not abandon or ignore it. And we will defend marriage, not try to redefine it. We need a President who understands that we will not have a strong economy unless we have strong communities and strong families. This isn’t conjecture or some quaint belief, it’s evidenced by a Brookings Institution study that Rick Santorum brought to my attention some time ago. For those who graduate from high school, get a full-time job, and wait until they’re 21 until they marry and then have their first child, the probability that they will be poor is 2 percent, but if those things are absent, the probability of becoming poor is 76 percent. In short, culture matters, and as President, I’ll protect our culture and preserve the values of hard work, personal responsibility, family, and faith."

So, what he’s saying is “Women? I’ll be telling you what you can and cannot do, and Gays? You will never have marriage equality in this country. And Rich Folk? I got your back.”

So presidential.

President Barack Obama, on Mittsy's many gaffes of late:

"What people want to know, though, is you're not writing off a big chunk of the country. This is a big country. And people disagree a lot but, one thing I’ve never tried to do and I think none of us can do in public office is suggest that because someone doesn’t agree with me that they’re victims or they’re unpatriotic....There are not a lot of people out there who think they’re victims. There are not a lot of people who think they’re entitled to something....We’ve got some obligations to each other, and there’s nothing wrong with us giving each other a helping hand so that that single mom’s kid, even after all the work she’s done, can afford to go to college.”

While he wants to help those 47%, Mittsy doesn’t want to be bothered.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck, The View’s resident wingnut, as always, beating the GOP drum and agreeing with Mittsy:

"I also think there's a general feeling that with more and more people becoming dependent on government that by next July we could perhaps be celebrating "Dependence Day" and not "Independence Day" in this nation."

Hasselbeck, who never met a Republican for whom she wouldn’t goosestep—remember her rabid adoration for Mama Grizzly Bore™--spewing doom and gloom for the country, because that’s how the GOP likes it: fear-based voting.

Reichen Lehmkuhl, realty show famewhore, on the demise of Logo’s The A-List:

"As much as I will miss the illustrious and fabulous life of an 'A-list reality star,' being public, being subject to the small but progressive, loud and proud, 'gay hate and take down other gays' judgment machine, and being the target of gossip from the flawless corps of amazingly accomplished, secure, sassy, role model bloggers—and don't forget the very brave commenters on those blog stories; all winners—of the gay media hate-o-sphere... the dignity department of my soul tells me that it's time for a new direction. I will, of course, also miss having the few worst moments of my life put on screen each week, with all 900 recorded hours of my best, positive, happy, benevolent, successful, charitable, fun, and loving moments vanishing, hidden as if they didn't exist, and swiftly deleted from any sort of public view whatsoever."

Funny, he takes to the media to complain about his treatment in the media, which he sought, and fought for, and probably used to pay for his Grindr account.

Rupert Everett, who once said gay actors should stay closeted, rearing his ugly head again:

"[My mother] thinks children need a father and a mother and I agree with her. I can’t think of anything worse than being brought up by two gay dads. Some people might not agree with that. Fine! That’s just my opinion. I’m not speaking on behalf of the gay community. In fact, I don’t feel like I’m part of any 'community.' The only community I belong to is humanity and we’ve got too many children on the planet, so it’s good not to have more."

Oh, Rupert.

So, children of single parents are just so unlucky and sad? Divorced parents should give their children to two-parent, opposite-sex couples? And so should a parent whose spouse has died?

You say you belong to the community of humanity, and yet you denigrate parts of that community regularly.

You should sit down unlike Madonna needs another gay stereotype for a movie.

Louise Pratt, Australian Labor Senator, who has a transgender partner, on the need for marriage equality:

"I am one of those hundreds of thousands of Australian citizens who knows that the laws of our nation hold our capacity for love and for commitment to be lesser because of the gender of our partner...One of hundreds of thousands of Australian citizens who knows that the laws of our nation say we are less deserving of rights, respect and recognition. We know that those ideas are not true and that the laws that reinforce them are not right. This debate has a personal impact for me...I think it is one of the bitterest, bitterest ironies of this debate that historically gay people have been stigmatized as promiscuous and immoral while being denied by the law the right to demonstrate the importance and consistency of their relationships in the way that any other Australian can. Think about that."

Amen.

Equality isn’t much to ask for, and yet many people just don’t get it.

Barney Frank, on Mittsy’s foot-in-mouth issues:

"Mitt Romney’s attack on the moral character of disabled veterans, elderly and disabled Social Security recipients, and hard-working Americans in low-wage jobs because they do not pay income taxes is especially galling given the great energy he has put into evading income taxes on his very high income. Many of those whom Mr. Romney impugns pay a significant portion of their income in payroll taxes which support Social Security and Medicare. And until Mr. Romney stops hiding his own tax records, we can speculate that those people pay a higher percentage of their income in these taxes than Mr. Romney does on his foreign accounts, tax shelters, and other evasive devices. What Mr. Romney has done is to make clear – although he had not intended to be so public about it – the philosophical rationale behind efforts of the Romney-Ryan ticket to weaken the Social Security and Medicare safety nets."

Mittsy has one agenda, and he’s had it his whole life: make Mittsy rich.

And that’s what he’d do if he was ever elected president.

Ozzie Guillen, Miami Marlins manager, on Toronto Blue Jay’s Yunel Escobar’s three game suspension for a homophobic slur:

"I think he just did it for fun. I know he didn't mean to hurt anybody's feelings. Nobody is that stupid. In my house, we call (each other) that word every 20 seconds. I've got three kids. For us, it's like 'What's up, bro? What's up, dude?' It's how you say it and to who you say it. But that's our country. We have to respect this country. Sometimes for us it's funny, for other people it's not."

Ozzie? You’re an idiot. Even after your own troubles--you called a reporter a 'fag'--you still don't get that it isn't right.

Saying What’s up, fag is not family friendly, unless your family is the Westboro Baptist Church. I hope your children grow up top love their father, but understand that he is a complete moron.

Chris Kluwe, football player, LGBT ally, my newest hero:

"Every time you propagate the message that being gay is to be less than human, that same sex marriage cannot be as filled with love and laughter and tears as heterosexual marriage, that gays don’t deserve to pass a legacy on to their family, you quicken that howling storm and sweep away a tiny bit more humanity from the world, drive one more child to contemplating the cold razor’s bite, or the yawning abyss of the overdose because they simply cannot deal with the unceasing assault upon their psyche.

Well I, for one, will not stand for it.

I will not stand for a world that demeans those it finds ‘different’ or ‘gross’. I will not stand for an ideology that promotes slavish adherence to a single arbitrary standard, that sacrifices children on the altar of oppression and control. I will not stand for one more RED TINGED MUSHROOM CLOUD second of people thinking that they have the right to live someone else’s life for them, for the complete lack of empathy so often shown in our society. I stand for gay marriage. I stand for the end of segregation. I stand for a woman’s right to vote. I stand for equality under the law, for treating others how I want to be treated, for the fundamental human right to live a happy life free of tyranny. I stand for my children."

Word.

Tidbits

Another one for the team.
Meredith Baxter Birney, the mom from Family Ties, the queen of the Lifetime movie, is a big old Lesbian. Apparently, although she's been married three times and has five children, she realized about seven years ago she was gay, and has been in a relationship with a woman for the last four years.

Well, good for you Meredith. And welcome. I am sure the Kenmore Toaster Oven, the Eddie Bauer Tool Belt, and your own copy of the Gay Agenda--replete with instructions on how The Gays will destroy the world--are in the mail.

Enough with the Tiger Woods business. Sheesh, we're sending more than 30,000 men and women back into Afghanistan and one of the the top stories in the news is Tiger Woods hitting a tree with an Escalade and not a golf ball. Is he cheating on the missus? Ain't nunyabidness. Did his wife beat him up? Nunya. We've got more important things to worry about than a single car billionaire accident.

find something better to talk about, something important!

But not this:

Speaking of ridiculous news stories, this whole Party Crasher nonsense is working my last Smallville nerve. To Tareq and Michelle Salahi I say, "Shut your friggin' yaps. The more you go on TV to tell us how devastated you are that people think you crashed a White House party, the more you look like fame whores looking for that tick-tick-tick fifteen minutes of fame. Shut up, already."

Admit you crashed the party because you have no soul and are looking for anything to fill that blackened charred hole in your being.

There are rumors abuzzin' that former Miss South Carolina, Lauren Caitlin Upton, will be one of the racetestants on the next installment of The Amazing Race.
God, I hope she gets a map if she has to go to The Iraq, and such as.......

Rupert Everett has been speaking out again. And he's trotting out his favorite non-story that gay actors should stay in the closet if they want to have successful careers in film. He says his film career stalled because he became more well-known for being gay than being an actor. I say, "Rupert? Darling? You haven't lost parts because you're gay. you've lost parts because you make idiotic choices in film, and if your films don't make money, that's why you don't get jobs. It's revenue, baby, not sexual orientation that stops you from getting work. Try closing your mouth......Close it!.....and start looking for good roles, not that gay best friends of Madonna shtick you've been doing for a decade or so. M'kay?"

Oh, me, oh, my, I am going to miss this.
Not!

Love Him Or Hate Him, He's Always Interesting

"I think it was fortuitous that he died...He was supposed to be doing 50 concerts in London. It wouldn’t have mattered how good or bad he was. He wouldn’t have managed to do all of them and the press would have destroyed him. He was a freak. He looked like a character from Shrek. He was a black to white minstrel. He was crucified by that court case when he was accused of child molestation – that killed him. He personified the pain and anxiety of a black man in a slave country. We all watched as he changed from black to white. He was living performance art. You cannot divide the music from the person. I think his life – and death – is a great lesson. I think we are going to see the end of celebrity as we know it. Show business is not an honest profession. It’s like the last days of Versailles. I do wonder how much more bullsh*t people can take about celebrities. We’re living in very strange times. We have Michael Jackson, a black man who has gone white, and we have President Barack Obama, who is a half white man gone black. It’s absolutely fascinating to watch."

Rupert Everett on Michael Jackson