Globes Fashions Made Simple ... Plus, Screaming Hot Oscar Isaac

BEST DRESSED

Helen Mirren … showing all those younger girls how to pull off sexy and chic and glamorous all at the same time. Head to toe, she knows how to dress for these shows.

GREAT

Jennifer Lawrence knows fashion, though sometimes she goes over-the-top. This time she was a cool, calm, collected and perfect Ice Princess On Fire.

VERY GOOD

Julianne Moore was rockin’ the sequins at the Globes, looking every inch a glamorous star. Totally covered up, totally sexy.

GOOD

Lady Gaga dragged her Inner Marilyn onto the carpet, though she gave it a kind of Morticia Adams edge to the whole thing.

OKAY … I’M FEELIN’ IT

Usually the comics tend to get it wrong—I’m looking at Tina Fey and Kristen Wiig from years past—but Amy Schumer looked cool and sophisticated and not-at-all try hard.

THIS SHOCKED ME

JLo usually brings out the ass or the legs or the bazongas, but this year — except for the Jolie Leg — she kept herself covered up and worked it. She might have scored higher, but that face she makes on the carpets always looked, um, constipated to me.

WTF

Cate Blanchett loves couture, but I’m getting fringy pink skeletal x-ray, or bad curtains in an Old West brothel.

WORST

Katy Perry. When I firsts potted her I thought, Oh look, Lisa Vanderpump is there in an ugly dress. But it was just Katy looking decades older in a Rite Aid Bump-It™ and a too-tight dress. If she was going Old Hollywood, she just stopped at Old.

HOT MAN

Rami Malek looked so put together. He’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but there’s just something about him that gets my moor running … especially in a dark blue tuxedo.

SCORCHING

Oscar Isaac. I can’t with him because he just makes me crazy … crazy hot. I’m usually not a full facial hair guy, but on Oscar it works. Hell, on Oscar, anything works.

A Day Later: I Didn't Say It ...

George Takei, actor and LGBT activist, on Kim Davis: 

"Well this is a bit of a circus. So let us be clear: This woman is no hero to be celebrated. She broke her oath to uphold the Constitution and defied a court order so she could deny government services to couples who are legally entitled to be married. She is entitled to hold her religious beliefs, but not to impose those beliefs on others. If she had denied marriage certificates to an interracial couple, would people cheer her? Would presidential candidates flock to her side? In our society, we obey civil laws, not religious ones. To suggest otherwise is, simply put, entirely un-American."

Leave it to Takei to make it perfectly queer!

[photo source]

Sarah Palin, on what immigrants should do if they wish to stay here:

"I think we can send a message and say, 'You want to be in America, (A), you'd better be here legally or you're out of here. (B), when you're here, let's speak American."

I suggest the Mama Grizzly Bore™ start speakin’ English and then maybe, in a few years, when she’s a wee bit smarter, she can offer advice.

[photo source]

Ellen Page, on the process of coming out: 

“I remember thinking, Ellen, how in God’s name could you make this film [Freeheld] and not be out? What’s interesting to me is how long it took to make the movie — for it to finally come together — and how my internal progression toward coming out was naturally in line with it. Stacie and Laurel’s story is incredibly inspiring and did take a lot of courage, particularly in a time of such unimaginable difficulty. It really did make me go, Dude, just tell people you’re gay. Just get over yourself, honestly, and support those who are not as privileged. It’s like, You have f**king privilege, so do something with it.”

Good for her, for realizing that she was getting nothing out of life, and putting nothing into it, by staying closeted.

[photo source]

Julianne Moore, co-starring as Ellen Page’s lover in “Freeheld”, on not knowing what it means to be closeted:

“It was interesting for me, because Ellen had just so recently come out … And this is going to sound silly, and hopefully not hurtful on my part, but I don’t think I was aware of how painful it is to be closeted. I have the advantage of being a person who’s never had to hide my sexuality, so I asked her a lot of questions — frank questions — about what that feels like. She said she felt discomfort simply wearing all these dresses, and it was all very eye-opening for me. She was so unprotective [of herself] — I was very touched by that.”

If you have ever had to hide who you are, whatever that may be, you know what it’s like to be closeted; a secret kept is a lock on the door.

[photo source]

Jon Davidson, of Lambda Legal, on Kim Davis:

"I have to wonder: just how many of those supporting Kentucky clerk Kim Davis’s refusal to issue marriage licenses based on her religious objection to same-sex couples marrying would support a Quaker government official who refused to issue them gun permits based on a religious commitment to pacifism?"

Oh hell no. They’re not coming for our guns!

[photo source]

I Didn't Say It.....

Sarah Palin, on daughter Bristol's about-face-engagement to baby daddy Levi:
"Bristol at 19 is now a young adult. We obviously want what's best for our children. Bristol believes in redemption and forgiveness to a degree most of us struggle to put in practice in our daily lives."
Which is Palin-speak for, "There isn't a chance in hell that I'm gonna let this happen."
See, while Bristol may believe in REdemption, Mama Bore thrives solely on REvenge.
Levi should sleep with one eye open.

Stuart V. Goldberg, who met with Lindsay Lohan before declining to become her lawyer, says of Lohan:
"My impression of Lindsay is that she's a fragile lost child – a sleeping beauty with her head in the sand. I found her not fully forewarned of the consequence of her actions. I'm concerned that she's not disciplined or tethered enough to the reality of adult consequences. She doesn't seem to have the awareness of what's going to befall her. My real worry for her is not just the jail time, but my fear is that she's overly susceptible to a probation system that's set up for her to fail."
The probation system hasn't been set up for Lohan to fail, her family and friends and her own exaggerated sense of self-worth have already done that.

Village People, on the YMCA changing their name to "The Y":
"We are deeply dismayed by today's announcement from the YMCA that they feel a name change and a rebranding are in order after 166 years. Some things remain iconic and while we admire the organization for the work they do, we still can't help but wonder Y."
It's fun to stay at the Y-aye-aye-aye......It's fun to stay the the Y-aye-aye-aye.....
It just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Tori Spelling, on her children, marriage equality, and her big gay friends:
"I’m all for same-sex marriage -- obviously. I often refer to myself as a gay man and all my friends are gay and I would like nothing more than for them to be able to be married. I think the good news is that things are changing, generationally. My kids will grow up in a house knowing that it’s perfectly normal for two men to be in love, it’s perfectly normal for two women to be in love. They might even think it odd when they grow up for a man and woman to be in love and that’s how it’s changing. My kids will grow up knowing it’s all about love. It doesn’t matter who you’re with and everyone should have that experience. Being able to be in love and to commit to each other if they want to. I feel like that is changing."
For a nutjob, she does seem to be raising her children to know that love comes in all combinations.

Hawaiian Asshat Governor Linda Lingle, on same-sex marriage being akin to first cousins marrying and incest [and for the record, Linda, in Hawaii, first cousins can marry]:
"For those people who want to makes this into a civil rights issue, and of course those in favor of the bill, they see it as a civil rights issue. And I understand them drawing that conclusion. But people on the other side would point out, well, we don’t allow other people to marry even — it’s not a civil right for them. First cousins couldn’t marry, or a brother and a sister and that sort of thing. So there are restrictions, not to put it in the exact same category. But the bottom line is, it really can’t be a civil right if we are restricting it in other cases, and it’s been found to be legal in those other cases, that the restrictions."
Seriously, when will they tire of the homosexuality = bestiality = incest line?
It's never been proven true, and it never will be proven true.
It's the Right-Wing-Religious-Zealot-Republican-Wingnut-Asshat-Fear-Mongering ritual, as usual.

Joan Rivers, Tweeting about Lindsay Lohan:
"Lindsay Lohan is so dumb. Her idea of being sworn in is cursing at the judge.....I was just reading about the new Lindsay Lohan diet, which is all liquid. 80 proof.....Lindsay Lohan had 'F-ck you' painted on her nails. What people don't know is that the judge had 'Eat me you party skank,' painted on hers."
You're killing me over here, Joanie!

Mark Ruffalo and Julianne Moore, stars of The Kid's Are All Right--a film about two lesbians, their children, and the, um, sperm donor--on gay marriage:
Mark Ruffalo: "My son, we live down the street from a gay couple and they have a boy. And my son has played with them for many years, and goes to their house for lunch, and hangs out. And not once has he ever come and said, 'Papa, why does he have two papas?' Because his house is no different than mine, and it's only conditioning that would make him aware of that. In the human heart we want to see more of what's common in each other than really what's uncommon."
Julianne Moore: "If you haven't ever met a gay person, or known a gay family...if you've never known anything that's different from you, you might think well, hmm... But the more you learn and the closer it is to you, I think the more rapidly your ideas change."
Common sense. Simple common sense.
Refreshing, isn't it?

Ozzy Osbourne, on Lady GaGa:
"I'm not sure about her music, but I like her vibe. Shes a bit fucking crazy?"
Ozzy says GaGa is crazy?
Pot.
Kettle.
Osbourne.