The Funny Papers

Jeff Stahler, Chris Britt, Ann Telnaes, Nick Anderson, Max Espinoza, Trevor Irvin, Dennis Goris, Daniel Boris, Michael de Adder, Lalo Alcaraz, Gary Huck, Pedro X Molina, Clay Bennett, Jesse Duquette, Benjamin Slyngstad

The Resistance at Work ... and a Couple of Goose-steppers

Let’s talk again about the Resistance, and those standing against the regime, including a chef, a newsman and twenty-eight women … ending with two of the sickest people on the planet today and the very reason we need to resist … but first:

Chef Joe Gera has exposed  “Doctor” Rand Paul for lying about Dr. Fauci and COVID vaccines by revealing that the MAGA senator was himself vaccinated and Gera knows it. He took on Paul on X after Paul posted:

"Remember: Anthony Fauci was all about 'following the science,' until it came to vaccines. He was all about forcing you into compliance, even though we all knew infection was the best protection."

Gera responded to that post with this:

"You were vaccinated. Multiple times. How do I know? Because I cooked an event you attended in early 2022. The venue’s policy was: if you wanted to attend unmasked, you had to be vaccinated (this didn’t stop until April that year at this venue). You also had to RSVP well in advance and provide a negative COVID test before the event. So if you were there, you met those requirements. But by all means, keep bullshitting."

Gera added if we "all knew" that infection was a better hedge against the coronavirus than the vaccines—and it wasn’t—then why did Rand Paul take the vaccine?

Obviously he’s saying this now to pander to the MAGAt base for political gain; that’s why he now says he wants to prosecute Fauci for his imagined crimes and who exposed the doctor's personal diary to the entire world in a political theater stunt.

But that’s Rand Paul, and that’s the GOP and that’s MAGAts.

And that’s Gera, resisting.

At the recent do-over of the White House Correspondents' Dinner due to the staged assassination attempt, CNN’s Wolf Blitzer stood a few feet from Cankles and anchor gave the Wall Street Journal the Katharine Graham Award for Courage and Accountability for exposing Cankles birthday letter to Epstein. The letter is signed by Cankles, who insists the signature isn’t his, with a drawing, in an album made for Epstein's fiftieth birthday.

Cankles filed a lawsuit against the WSJ and exposed reporter Khadeeja Safdar's home address and after several threats her family had to be relocated.

The lawsuit was supposed to make the letter disappear but instead it spurred Congress into subpoenaing Epstein's estate to produce the birthday book, and the letter sitting right there, exactly as reported.

And so last week Cankles’ sat on the dais and then had to shake the hand of every reporter he tried to sue into silence, one after another, while the cameras rolled. He spent years and a fortune trying to make this story disappear and ended the night applauding the people who wrote it.

The Resistance.

And speaking of the Epstein Files … it’s twenty-eight women over three decades saying the president is a predator and rapist and pedophile.

And when the story comes back up those who defend this so-called president by acting like there is just one accusation, one lawsuit, or one disgruntled person; not true.

Here’s the list:

1. Ivana _____ [1989, New York] said in a divorce deposition that after she visited her plastic surgeon that Cankles assaulted her; she is quoted as using the word “rape,” though she later said she did not mean it in the criminal sense.

2. Jill Harth [1992-1993, Mar-a-Lago, Florida] alleges Cankles repeatedly groped, pulled her into a bedroom, and pushed here against a wall. Filed a harassment lawsuit in 1997.

3. “Katie Johnson” [1994, New York] Anonymous plaintiff alleged Cankles and Jeffrey Epstein raped her at age 13. The lawsuit was later withdrawn.

4. Jessica Leeds [early 1980s, flight to New York] says Cankles groped her breasts and attempted to put his hand up her skirt.

5. Kristin Anderson [early 1990s, Manhattan nightclub] says Cankles groped her under her skirt.

6. Stacey Williams [1993, New York] alleges that Cankles groped her while Jeffrey Epstein watched.

7. Beatrice Keul [1993, Plaza Hotel, New York City] says Cankles groped her in a hotel suite.

8. Lisa Boyne [1996, New York dinner] alleges Cankles had models walk across a table so he could look under their skirts.

9. Cathy Heller [1997, Mar-a-Lago, Florida] says Cankles grabbed and kissed her at a Mother’s Day brunch.

10. Temple Taggart McDowell [1997, Miss Utah USA] says Cankles gave her unwanted kisses and embraces.

11. Amy Dorris [1997, U.S. Open, New York City] alleges Cankles forcibly kissed and groped her.

12. Mariah Billado [1997, Miss Teen USA] says Cankles walked into a dressing room while contestants were changing.

13. Victoria Hughes [1997, Miss Teen USA] corroborated the dressing room account and said the youngest contestant present was 15.

14. Karena Virginia [1998, outside the U.S. Open, New York City] says Cankles grabbed her arm and touched her breast.

15. Bridget Sullivan [2000, Miss USA] says Cankles entered a dressing room while contestants were naked.

16. Tasha Dixon [2001, Miss USA] also says Cankles walked in on topless and naked contestants.

17. Unnamed Miss USA contestant [2001] says Cankles barged into a dressing room while she was undressed.

18. Mindy McGillivray [2003, Mar-a-Lago, Florida] says Cankles groped her buttocks.

19. Karen Johnson [early 2000s, Mar-a-Lago New Year’s Eve party] alleges Cankles grabbed her genitals and forcibly kissed her.

20. Rachel Crooks [2005, Trump Tower, New York City] says Cankles kissed her cheeks and mouth without consent.

21. Natasha Stoynoff [2005, Mar-a-Lago, Florida] says Cankles pushed her against a wall and forcibly kissed her.

22. Juliet Huddy [2005-2006, Trump Tower, New York City] says Cankles kissed her on the lips.

23. Jessica Drake [2006] alleges Cankles forcibly kissed and hugged her, followed by offers of money for a date.

24. Ninni Laaksonen [2006, New York City] says Cankles grabbed her buttocks backstage before an appearance.

25. Samantha Holvey [2006, Miss USA pageant] says Cankles’ behavior was “creepy” and that he entered dressing rooms unannounced.

26. Summer Zervos [2007, Beverly Hills Hotel, California] alleges unwanted kissing, breast touching, and genital thrusting. Later she sued him for defamation after he denied her claims.

27. Cassandra Searles [2013, Miss USA pageant] alleges groping and unwanted advances.

28. Alva Johnson [2016, Florida campaign event] alleges Cankles forcibly kissed her.

And then there is the one case that actually went before a jury.

E. Jean Carroll [1995 or 1996, Bergdorf Goodman, New York City] alleges Cankles sexually assaulted her in a department store dressing room. In 2023, a jury found him liable for sexual abuse and defamation and awarded Carroll $5 million. In 2024, a second jury awarded Carroll $83.3 million for additional defamation.

While the jury did not find liability for rape under New York’s specific legal definition used in the case, Judge Lewis Kaplan later wrote that the jury’s findings were substantially equivalent to a finding that Cankles raped Carroll as the term is commonly understood.

After reading all these allegations remember that Cankles was caught on tape saying he just “grabs women and starts kissing them” and that he could do that because he’s rich; he also admitted to grabbing women by the pussy.

Now let’s talk about the Epstein files.

For years, people claimed Cankles’ name wasn’t in the files, then some files were released …

July 2025 during the Phase One Release, Cankles’ name appeared 9 times, including at least 8 appearances in Epstein’s flight logs from 1993 to 1996.

November 2025 from the House Oversight Committee Email Release, we found that Cankles was mentioned at least 1,500 times in released materials. Many references involved Epstein discussing Cankles with associates rather than direct communications.

December 19 and 23, 2025 we got the First DOJ Release, roughly 30,000 pages and we learned that Cankles name appeared relatively frequently in this batch, mostly in address books, flight logs, message logs, and previously released Ghislaine Maxwell interview materials.

January 30, 2026 we got the Final DOJ Release, more than 3 million pages, and Cankles’ name appeared more than 3,000 times according to tracking of the release. While Cankles argued the records cleared him, critics argued the volume alone contradicted years of claims that he barely appeared in the files.

February 2026 in a Review of 5,300-file batch, the New York Times’ search tools identified more than 38,000 references to Cankles, Melania, Mar-a-Lago, and related search terms. Not all were direct references to Cankles himself, but the total showed how extensively his name appeared throughout the database.

And then there was one additional document that drew attention … a separate email contained an uncorroborated sexual abuse allegation involving Cankles. NPR reported the accuser was interviewed by the FBI four times, but only one of those interviews, one which does not mention Cankles, is currently included in the public database.

To be fair, there is a difference between saying someone’s name appears in the files and saying there is evidence they committed a crime. But there is also a difference between saying someone’s name appears once and saying it appears thousands of times. And we know that to prove his innocence all he had to do was release it all, but he won't.......

So the record stands: 28 public accusers, one jury finding Trump liable for sexual abuse, $88.3 million in damages, and thousands of references to Cankles-related names and entities throughout the Epstein document releases.

Draw your own conclusions, but burying your head in the sand like the GOP and the DOJ and pretending none of this exists stopped being an honest argument a long time ago.

Now, onto the blatant hypocrisy of Stephen “Pee Wee German” Miller and his wife Katie and their relationship with Dr. Fauci during COVID.

Katie Miller, a former Cankles administration staffer and her husband Stephen are calling for Dr. Anthony Fauci to be jailed, citing the recent release of his private diary entries as proof that he is nothing but an attention-seeker. 

But the diary entries also tell another story of Katie and Stephen and the type of goose-stepping lying hypocrites they both are now and were during COVID.

During Cankles’ first term, when Katie Miller was then-Vice President Mike Pence’s communications director and involved in the White House’s response to COVID, she appeared quite close with the director of the National Institute of Allergies and Infectious Diseases. 

In fact, Dr. Anthony Fauci provided regular medical advice to the Millers, counseling the family after Katie tested positive for the virus in 2020 while she was pregnant, when her husband had Covid-19, and when her newborn child had a medical episode; Fauci wrote in his diary on May 9, 2020:

“I am calling Katie frequently to check on her couple time per day. She is very anxious about getting very ill since she is 10 weeks pregnant. Tonight she had an anxiety reaction. I calmed her over the phone.”

He also wrote in another entry how he called the doctors treating Miller’s child directly to discuss the baby’s medical care. 

Senator Rand Paul, not a doctor, released over 1,000 pages of Fauci’s diary last week and quite a few of those entries showed the extent of Fauci’s interactions with Miller before they were later redacted. News of the United States [NOTUS], a nonpartisan digital political news website compared pages before and after the redactions and found that many of the suddenly redacted passages concerned the Millers’ relationship with Fauci, with the original documents mentioning Katie 56 times, while the redacted version mentioned her just 37 times. 

Katie told NOTUS not to publish details of her child’s medical history, claiming that Paul published them without her permission. She also said that despite her regular contact with Fauci during the pandemic, she thought at the time that he was “incredibly self-centered and sought to promote himself above the good of the people” and also added:

“He was not my doctor. He was not my friend. He was a work colleague who called me for work purposes, and in the course of a phone call, you would discuss other things.”

Sure sounds like she sought out his advice for herself, for her child, and also for her husband; he was quite a work colleague who called only for work purposes.

Dr. Anthony Fauci describes Katie Miller in his diary as someone he saw as an ally to help deal with the administration while the Coronavirus Task Force was active. He also spoke to her multiple times while she was traveling to her parents’ home in Texas later in October that year, after her husband tested positive and wrote:

“Am on phone frequently with Katie and Stephen.”

Funny after all that, helping alleviate Katie Miller’s fears of COVID, talking to her about her infant child being diagnosed with the virus, and then with her husband’s own COCID diagnosis, Kate Miller, who lets’ face it, never met the truth she didn’t deny, now blasts Fauci frequently online, accusing him of caring “more about virtue signaling than science” and causing “decades of harm” to children with his leadership of the government’s response to Covid-19. She now speaks often about not vaccinating her youngest child on her podcast.

Even after all the advice she sought him out for, Katie Miller sinks to a new low.

It’s highly hypocritical how she and her husband are now trashing a dedicated public servant and medical professional who went out of his way to help them during the Covid-19 pandemic, when they dealt with the same fears of the virus as every other American. Now the Millers are happy to pile on and blame Fauci for the failures of the Cankles’ regime’s administration’s Covid-19 response.  

One of the vilest, hate-filled, lying hypocritical couples on the planet who both had COVID, as did their newborn child, and now trash the man who helped them because it takes the heat of their bosses’ pedophile scandal, his inept handling of a war for profit he started, and the rampant corruption in his administration.

Fuck them both.

Stand with Joe Gera, Wolf Blitzer, The Women, and stand against the ilk of goose-stepping Nationalist Christians, AKA Nat-C’s, the Millers …

I Didn't Say It

Mark Kelly, US Navy combat veteran and Democrat Senator from Arizona, on the bombing of boats in the Caribbean and killing any survivors:

“This president, when he says things like ‘third world countries,’ what is he really saying? I think what he’s saying is he doesn’t want brown people in our country. And that’s disturbing. It’s un-American. If what has been reported is accurate, I’ve got serious concerns about anybody in that chain of command stepping over a line that they should never step over. We are not Russia. We are not Iraq. We hold ourselves to a very high standard. Going after survivors in the water—that is clearly not lawful. We have a president who doesn’t understand the Constitution, who installed an unqualified secretary of defense. I cannot think of a secretary of defense in the history of our country that is less qualified than Pete Hegseth. He should’ve been fired after Signal-gate.”

Grifters and drunks are in charge and what happens is that we become a country killing people that the regime “suspects” to be trafficking drugs while Cankles pardons a real drug runner in former Honduran President Juan Orlando Hernández.

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Rand Paul, Kentucky GOP Senator, on Pete Hegseth:

“Secretary Hegseth said he had no knowledge of this, and it did not happen. It was fake news. It didn’t happen. And then the next day, from the podium at the White House [they] are saying it did happen. So, either he was lying to us … or he’s incompetent and didn’t know it had happened. Do we think there’s any chance that the secretary of the defense did not know there had been a second strike? So as a country, we’re just going to let people lie to us, to our face?”

He's incompetent and he’s a liar; he’s a war criminal and he’s a murderer. And now even some in the GOP are seeing it.

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Jessica Tarlov,  political strategist for the Democratic Party and a rotating co-host of The Five on Fox News, on the murder ordered by Pete Hegseth and Cankles in the Caribbean:

“The government has carried out seven strikes, killed thirty-two people, produced zero indictments, and still can’t show a shred of evidence [the victims] were [drug] traffickers. The admiral running the mission quit rather than own it. This isn’t ‘national security.’ It’s state-sanctioned killing dressed up as counterterrorism and they’re hoping you don’t ask why the courts were never involved.”

I have stealing Venezuela's oil fields and giving them to Cankles in my Fascism Bingo Card.

And, oh yeah, I also have Distract from the Epstein Files.

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Mark Hertling, Retired US Army Lieutenant, on disobeying illegal orders from grifters and drunks and criminals:

“For what it’s worth, as a commander and officer, it was my duty, moral obligation and legal requirement to first question and then not obey any illegal order I was given. The same is true for everyone who swears the oath. Hope that clears things up.”

How hard is this to understand? Don’t help anyone break the law and if you do, do you think Cankles and his regime will protect you??

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Rachel Maddow, reading KKKarolying Leavitt’s resume live on air, after Leavitt called her activism ‘outdated, irrelevant, and based on a world that doesn’t exist anymore’:

"Let’s do a little homework together, sweetheart … Karoline Leavitt. Born 1997. Former White House assistant—lasted eight months. Lost two congressional races—both by double digits. Hosts a podcast that averages fewer listeners than my nightly show. Claims to fight for ‘free speech,’ yet blocks everyone who disagrees. And her latest achievement? Calling someone who’s spent decades reporting, analyzing, and informing the public ‘irrelevant’ while trending for the wrong reasons. Baby girl, I’ve reported from the frontlines of politics, covered stories that matter, and challenged those in power with facts, integrity, and rigor. I’ve been questioned by critics with more fame and less knowledge than you. You don’t scare me"

Snap.

Don’t come for Rachel, Little Lying Girl, because you are way out of your depth. She has little time for faux-christian liars and goose-stepping fascists wearing crosses.

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Greg Walker, GOP Senator from Indiana, has refused Cankles’ request to travel to Washington and meet with him, saying that it violated the Hatch Act:

“I refused [the invitation], but the underling who reached out to me is trying to influence the election on my dime. That individual works for me. He works for you. He’s on my payroll, he’s on your payroll, and he’s campaigning on company time. That’s a violation of the Hatch Act. He’s a federal employee. He works in the White House. But does anyone care about the rules anymore? Not that I can tell. How does [Cankles] have the time to mess with a nobody like me with all of the important matters that are to take his attention as the leader of the executive branch in this nation? There is no way that he should have time to have a conversation with me about Indiana mapmaking when that’s not his business, for starters. But secondly, doesn’t he have anything better to do? I can make a big list of things that are more important for him to focus on.”

It’s rare to see a Republican so openly refusing to pay homage to Cankles and Walker is far from the only Republican to do so recently. It’s nice to see the tide turning, though let’s be clear that it’s turning because the GOP is seeing chinks in Cankles’ flaccid armor.

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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Democrat Representative from New York, on Marjorie Taylor Greene pretending to have principles by resigning when it’s just a coin grab:

“She’s carefully timing her departure just 1–2 days after her pension kicks in and after making millions of dollars insider trading stocks for weapons manufacturers and others while in office. She is saying a lot but her ACTIONS have not backed up the rhetoric. For all her talk, she’s STILL voting with them to gut healthcare and advance self-dealing corruption schemes!”

Large Marge is playing us all , pretending to be tired of the GOP and Cankles and The Little Johnson when she is just doing it to get herself a nice little money bag.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Gavin Newsom, California Democrat Governor, smacking down Nationalist Christian, AKA Nat C, Little Mike Johnson who suggested Newsom be "tarred and feathered" for opposing the regime’s attack on LA:

"Good to know we’re skipping the arrest and going straight for the 1700’s style forms of punishment. A fitting threat given the [fact that the] wants to bring our country back to the 18th Century."

Tarring and feathering was an incredibly cruel form of public torture that was first popularized in medieval times. The victim would be stripped naked, coated in hot tar, then doused in feathers and run out of town. Suggesting that such a punishment should be inflicted on a sitting governor amidst an ongoing crisis is irresponsible at best and a flagrant incitement to violence at worst.

And, more importantly, not very Christ-like but then Little Mike is no Christian.

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Rand Paul, Kentucky GOP Senator, on The Felon’s parade:

“Never been a big fan of goose-stepping soldiers in big tanks and missiles rolling down the street. So if you asked me, I wouldn’t have done it. I’m not sure what the actual expense of it is, but I’m not really—we were always different than the images you saw of the Soviet Union and North Korea. We were proud not to be that. I’m not proposing that that’s the image people want to project, but I’m worried about the image that it isn’t necessarily the best image to show.”

Paul was punished by being uninvited from a picnic at the White House; no, seriously, that’s The Felon’s response. Now, I don’t like Rand Paul, but I will give him a slow clap for speaking out against The Felon.

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Nancy Pelosi, California Democrat Senator, on The Felon’s part in the protests and government response in California:

“Now we have seen the President of the United States say that he would arrest a sitting governor … This is the hallmark of authoritarianism on the road to tyranny—and all Americans should be shocked and appalled by the President’s blatant disregard for our Constitutional system.”

Well, we can’t count on all Americans because most GOP politicians will stand forever with The Felon until he finally falls and then they try to rewrite history. And we cannot count on the cult because their ignorance precludes them from rational thought. That leaves Independents and Moderates and Democrats to stand up and speak up and resist and get our asses to the voting booth.

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Doechii, queer singer, on the regime’s anti-immigrant raids in LA during her acceptance speech at the 2025 BET Awards:

“There are ruthless attacks that are creating fear and chaos in our communities in the name of law and order. [The Felon] is using military forces to stop a protest, and I want y’all to consider what kind of government it appears to be when every time we exercise our democratic right to protest, the military is deployed against us. What type of government is that? People are being swept up and torn from their families, and I feel it’s my responsibility as an artist to use this moment to speak up for all oppressed people: For Black people, for Latino people, for trans people, for the people in Gaza. We all deserve to live in hope and not in fear, and I hope we stand together, my brothers and my sisters, against hate and we protest against it.”

Preach!!!

Everyone preach! Tell every person you know; to paraphrase a quote from AIDS protests of 35 years ago, Silence = Oppression.

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Jen Richards, transgender actress, who was hit by rubber bullets ICE, National Guard troops, and police against pro-immigration activists in LA:

“We were in downtown LA today. Thousands of peaceful protestors showed up to demonstrate that we won't stand by as our neighbors get rounded up to appease the racist fever dreams of a President and his fragile ego. I was hit by flashbangs and rubber bullets, all while walking backwards with my hands up (and Rebekah Cheyne] was shoved in the chest with a police baton). I'm a rather fragile, sensitive, fight-with-my-words type, but sometimes shit goes too far and you gotta stand up for truth, liberty, and empathy. Now is that time … p.s. Flashbangs aren't too bad, they're loud and sting. Rubber bullets however ... tore through my docs!”

The regime will have you believe LA is on fire and burning to the ground and tens of thousands of people are looting and burning and breaking the law. Not so; it’s people standing up for people who are being denigrated and arrested and separated from families and homes and jobs because a little wannabe dick-tator who cried bone spurs can look tough.

Stand up to the bullies and watch them turn tail and run.

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The Funny Papers

Dave Whamond, Jack Ohman, Ann Telnaes, Adam Zyglis, Mike Luckovich, Matt Wuerker, Darrin Bell, Nick Anderson, Michael de Adder, Steve Benson, Ted Littleford, Marc Murphy, Bill Bramhall, Clay Bennett,

Bobservations

The other night Carlos was at a rehearsal—he joined another musician playing at our local Catholic Church—and I was home. I let Ozzo outside and saw a black-and-white cat on the deck. I thought nothing about it, but then I couldn’t find Consuelo and I thought what I’d taken as black-and-white was actually Calico in the twilight, so I headed to the back deck again. I walked outside and the little black-and-white cat came up and rubbed against me and purred; then she rubbed against Ozzo. She seemed well-fed and perfectly healthy, so I assumed she was just visiting Casa Bob y Carlos … and Ozzo. I told Carlos about the cat when he got home and he said:

“We can’t have another cat.”

I replied:

“To be fair, we once had seven cats, so we can have another bringing us to four, but we don’t need another cat, and this one belongs to somebody in the neighborhood.”

Cut to Christmas Day and the little cat returned, to the front porch this time, and Carlos … wait for it … it’s grand … took the cat dinner.

We are never going to get rid of this cat, I told him as he began thinking of names.

UPDATE: The cat, which … wait for it … Carlos has named Comet … visits our porch every afternoon for dinner. It’s only a matter of time before Comet comes inside.

Even Tuxedo looks at this talk show quack with a side-eye … and he’s not fond of Dr, Oz either.

Well, I felt the earth move … this past Tuesday we had an earthquake in Smallville, registering 3.3 on the Richter scale and centered just a few miles from Casa Bob y Carlos.

We shook, but nothing broke.

Republican asshat Rand Paul has accused Democrats of stealing elections by … wait for it … he’s the dumbest man on planet Earth … by convincing people to register as democrats and then vote in every election.

No, seriously, this is his idea of stealing.

As the goddess is my witness I thought the delivery man said, ‘Sign my package’ and not ‘I need a signature for the package.’

GOP Congressman Adam Kinzinger said the House select committee investigating the January 6 attack on the Capitol is looking into whether Thing 45 acted criminally in connection to the Capitol riots.

Prove it, and then have Hillary Clinton go on TV to shout:

“Lock him up!”

That would be Must See TV.

Smallville, AKA Camden, is the oldest inland city in South Carolina, having been established in 1733, and the folks here, the older ones, do not like change.

That picture above is an old bank at the corner of Broad and Dekalb in Camden. The faux stonework on the front is being removed and the old windows are being put back in and people are outraged, most notably, because the twirling sign on the front of the building, which gave time and temperature is being removed.

The building is being restored back to the way it looked when it was built in the early 1900s—see below—and the folks on Facebook, clearly older folks, are asking how they will tell time and temperature now,

Best answer: look at your damned phone.

Michele Morrone is an Italian actor, model, singer, fashion designer hunk of prosciutto.

Would you hit it?