Why Is It ...

… that when I noticed the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled I laughed at the irony, and then I laughed again at the word “irony”

… that people don’t know that if I was a Jedi there’s a 100% chance I would use the Force inappropriately

… that while I often know better than to do certain things but my curiosity was like “do it” and my bad decisions were already putting on their shoes

… that you need to know that my self worth doesn’t depend on your opinion of me mainly because I already checked with myself and I think I’m doing a fantastic job. The Board of Directors [me] has spoken.

… that y’all need to know my Five ways to Have a Good Day: 1] Drink Coffee; 2] Avoid People; 3] Read a book; D] Drink more Coffee; and 4] Keep avoiding people

… that I often need to ask the haters watching life if they are okay with the volume or if I should turn it up

… that the people who think they know me don’t see my 5AM runs, or see me choosing a salad over French fries, or doing yoga in a peaceful room, don’t realize it’s because I don’t do any of that

… that when I ask myself if I’m the problem we almost always say no

… that “naked hiking” is apparently done without GPS, no music and no distractions and yet no one bothered to tell me sooner

… that y’all need to know that I didn't survive Y2K, 9/11, Swine Flu, Bird Flu, multiple recessions, that time I woke up naked in a corn field, and COVID just to be taken out by diarrhea lettuce