Bobservations

The other day Carlos had a translation at our local courthouse. It was a messy case, child custody stuff, so he was doing a lot of translating and his throat got dry. He saw some plastic cups on the table and some bottles of water, so he helped himself to a cup and began to open the water and pour when the bailiff stopped him:

“That’s hand sanitizer, sir.”

Has he been listening to _____ lately? I'm checking the cabinets for hydroxycholoquine.

Tuxedo is taking a break from politics and riots and murder this week, after his own traumatic experience with Mean Daddy—see yesterday’s post. Now he just wants to chuckle…

A new book by New York Time’s Michael Schmidt—“Donald _____ v. the United States”—is coming out this week and claims that _____ thought about “settling” with special counsel Robert Mueller. Schmidt writes:

“At one point, as the investigation seemed to be intensifying, [_____ told White House counsel Don McGahn] that there was nothing to worry about because if it was zeroing in on him, he would simply settle with Mueller. He would settle the case, as if he were negotiating terms in a lawsuit.”

Fucking moron. He’s lived a life buying his way out of troubles with contractors and employees and porn starts and that he could do the same with the government.

As a kid we would spend part of our summers at Lake Tahoe, often renting a cabin close to Tahoe City and the lake. But a couple of times we rented cabins in Squaw Valley which is a gorgeous valley, and great skiing in winter. The only downside was that it was a half hour to the lake.

Another downside, these days? Squaw Valley. And so now the ski resort will be changing its “derogatory and offensive” name. When you know better, you do better.

KFC has suspended its well-known slogan because it “doesn’t feel quite right” amid the coronavirus pandemic.

No more “Finger Lickin’ Good.”

To me it never was 'Finger lickin' good,'it was just greasy.

This past summer, Professor Eric Orts, along with six faculty members, from the University of Pennsylvania requested the school investigate _____’s academic records, but provost Wendell Pritchett said it was too far into the past to look into it, unless new evidence came to light.

Well, now Eric Orts says the tape recordings—made by niece Mary Trump as part of the research for her _____ book—constitute the new evidence because, on the tapes, you hear _____’s sister, Maryanne Trump Barry, say:

“He got into University of Pennsylvania because he had somebody take the exams.”

Now, I know the MAGAts won’t care; their heads are too deeply buried in the sand or their own asses. But I would love to see this proven.

Stable Genius Cheated.

In the Someone Get Me A Hazmat Suit and a Silkwood Scrubdown files comes the tale of the time that _____told Sarah Huckabee Sanders to “take one for the team” after North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un hit on her at a summit in Singapore in June 2018.

I don’t know which is ickier … Un sex or Huckleberry sex …or Un and Huckleberry sex, but Huckleberry says:

“We made direct eye contact and Kim nodded and appeared to wink at me. I was stunned. I quickly looked down … All I could think was, ‘What just happened? Surely Kim Jong Un did not just mark me!?'”

Settle, honey, that ain’t no prize, though I’m surprised you didn’t do the Un deed to get in good with the boss..

A fundraiser on the Christian crowdfunding site GiveSendGo has raised over $200,000 for the defense of the Kenosha shooter … I will not  say his name … who was charged with first-degree murder after killing two people and wounding one other. Nope; that’s not  a misprint … a Christian group is making money to defend a murderer and they are lying about it when they say:

“[The murderer] just defended himself from a brutal attack by multiple members of the far-leftist group ANTIFA—the experience was undoubtedly a brutal one, as he was forced to take two lives to defend his own. Now, [the murderer]  is being unfairly charged with murder 1, by a DA who seems determined only to capitalize on the political angle of the situation. The situation was clearly self-defense, and [the murderer]  and his family will undoubtedly need money to pay for the legal fees. Let’s give back to someone who bravely tried to defend his community.”

Keep in mind that the murderer is not from Kenosha—he lives out of state—so he was not trying to defend his community. And faux-Christians, you keep in mind that God is watching, and She cannot believe what She sees.

Carlos over breakfast:

“I was watching one of my nerd shows about molecules. Did you know that you can split a molecule and perform an experiment on one half and the results happen to both sides of the split molecule at the same time?”

Me:

“I’m sorry, I stopped listening after 'molecule' …”

I kill me.

I am not usually attracted to the sort of blond-haired, blue-eyed mens; I like my men with a little ethnicity to them.

But then I happened on Will Higginson and, well, there was just something there that I couldn’t put my finger on … though I wanted to try.

Just sayin’.

Random Musings

I cannot get over the hypocrisy of a president who tells the Syrian people, including the children, they cannot come here because they come from terrorist countries, and then he drops bombs on Syria because Syria gassed those same Syrian people and their babies.

If he’d just let them in ....

Adele just broke a record set by Carole King’s Tapestry; Adele’s 21 has been on the Billboard Top 200  for 320 weeks now besting  Tapestry’s 318 weeks ... and 21 still sits at #103.

It was a long run for King, but now Adele rules.

Carlos had a birthday over the weekend and all he wanted was some new pants and a few new shirts, so I took him shopping on Saturday to get some new duds.

Once home, he swore he would “thin the herd” in his closet and while I was working on the computer he came into the office and said,

“Should I keep these?”

“These” were pair of gauzy white pants that were nearly sheer, and that looked like they, at one time, had a drawstring waist; so I replied,

“Sure, if you’re going as Don Johnson from Miami Vice this Halloween.”

For some reason he stomped off ...

Howsabout that United passenger that was dragged off the flight because United overbooked the flight and needed to make room for some United employees to get to Louisville?

As I said on Facebook, they ought to change their name to  UnAmerican Airlines or, if I had been the passenger they dragged off the plane, they should rebrand as Bob Airlines cuz I’d own that sh*t.

Little Donald Trump Jr. said he won’t run for governor of New York in 2018 which is good because no one asked him.

Oh, and the state of New York berated a yuuuuge sigh of relief.

Alabama Governor Robert Bentley resigned this week after it was revealed he embezzled state funds to cover-up his affair with aide Rebekah Mason.

Bentley was married for fifty-plus years until his wife found out about his cheating ass, and he used to be a Baptist Deacon and he stood strong against same-sex marriage because marriage is between one man and one woman ... and his mistress, I guess.

Now, I know there are Democrats who lie, cheat and steal, but doesn’t it always seem like its Republicans who get busted for being lying, cheating, stealing, religious bigoted hypocrites?

Yeah, I know, Tuxedo was here last week, but then he did this ... as I was getting ready for work yesterday he decided to nap in the bathroom window. But then stretched out on his back and twisted his body and when I walked in he held out his front legs to me and meowed like a little kid who wanted to be picked up.

I thought maybe he’d gotten himself twisted in the window and was having a hard time getting down, so I scooped him up, gave him a smooch and set him down.

So he could climb back into the window, turn on his back, twist his torso, hold out his paws and say, “Meowwww.” to me.

Apparently this will be a new game ....

Note to Sean Spicer: rule #1 of being a political spokes-tool, even for the Hair Furor, is that you never compare the leader of a country, no matter how despicable, to Hitler by using the phrase “at least Hitler didn’t ..."

And what was that holocaust Center business? Did Hitler escape the bunker, flee to Argentina, then return to Germany to work as a tour guide at Auschwitz?

Seriously, you’d think a spokes-tool could actually speak.

Last week, whilst watching SNL, I was once again struck by the idea that Colin Jost, of ‘Weekend Update’ fame, is kinda hot; and since he’s also funny—which I find very sexy—well, that was a plus. So, I made a mental note to make him a Hot Man this week. Then I saw that Mark Alexander at Veonix Rising, had also found Jost a little something-something and he, too, posted a few sexy snaps. I was gonna switch gears, but said, ‘Nope, hot and funny always wins.’

And then I stumbled—and I wish it had been literally—upon Reid Scott, who is on Veep  and after seeing him, all sleek and sexy, thought to myself, ‘Damn! Why didn’t we upgrade our cable to get HBO so I could him every week?’

So here is, too; we have funny and sexy and sleek and sexy. Just sayin’.

Well, for over For 138 years, the annual Easter Egg Roll has been the biggest single public event held at the White House, attracting some 35,000 Washington-area schoolchildren, military families, and Congressional guests to celebrate Easter.

Alas, not this year. When the _____’s  host the high-profile event April 17th, it will be significantly scaled down as a result of a failure to do the necessary advance planning, such as purchasing the wooden eggs given as gifts on time and sending out invitations to bring the children and their families to the White House for the celebration. 

I guess when the wife refuses to live in the same house as the husband and he’s too busy lobbing Twitter Lies and dropping bombs and dodging an FBI investigation, the little children suffer.

Random Musings

The other night Carlos and I were watching the Critic’s Choice Awards because, well, we’re gay and we love awards shows ... okay, because I love awards shows, and Ryan Reynolds .... lord is he hot and funny and hot .... won an award for Deadpool. As he was accepting the award, this was the conversation in our house ...

Carlos: Who is that?

Bob: Ryan Reynolds. God he’s hot.

Carlos: Is he Debbie Reynolds' son?

Bob: No. What? No! Debbie Reynolds is her stage name, so if he was her son he’d have a different last name; like, Carrie Fisher is Debbie Reynolds’ daughter but she has the last name of her father, Eddie Fisher.

Carlos: I just thought since they had the same last name ...

Bob: Well, Reynolds Wrap is her cousin.

Carlos: I don't even know who that is.

Bob: It’s aluminum foil?

Carlos: I thought you meant Reynolds Rap, like a rapper.

Seriously.

‘Memba when _____ blasted Ted Cruz for his associations with Wall Street and Goldman Sachs?

‘Memba when _____ blasted Hillary Clinton for her associations with Wall Street and Goldman Sachs?

Well, _____ just named Goldman Sachs President and COO Gary Cohn to be his National Economic Council Director. 

Drain the Swamp, my ass.

I don’t usually go for the Beefy Mens, but ... John Cena. Wrestler, and now actor, and, well, he’s kinda funny. Plus, in Trainwreck he dared to give us a glimpse, on more than one occasion, of his glorious backside.

So, beefy hot and funny ... a winning combination but ...

He also appeared in this PSA so ...

Beefy hot and funny and smart and compassionate ....

I really would love to scale that man. Just sayin’.

Poor Rudy ... he shoved his head far up the _____ rump to get the Secretary of State position and as soon as it became clear that he wasn’t gonna get it, he started saying he turned the job down.

Sit down, Rudy, no one believes a word that comes out of your mouth.

Oh, and since you won’t be _____’s right-hand ass-kisser, go away.

I actually heard a man in a store the other day say Merry Christmas to someone and the checker was overjoyed ...

Checker: It’s about time people said Merry Christmas instead that Happy Holidays stuff.

Bob: But what if you aren’t a Christian or you don’t celebrate Christmas, wouldn’t Happy Holidays be better?

Checker: I celebrate Christmas.

Bob: So, it’s all about you then? No one else matters?

Checker ...

Bob: No, no, I got my answer. You can have these things back, I’ll shop somewhere else ..... Happy Holidays.

So North Carolina’s governor, Pat McCrory—who was one of those rabid proponents of the so-called “bathroom bills” stoking the fires of hate in his state with ludicrous statements about men in dresses in the ladies room raping children—was finally flushed last week, proving that resistance works, hate does not win, transphobia is unacceptable.

And that’s all well and good, but what makes it great is that, in light of McCrory being flushed out of office, Kentucky's Republican Governor Matt Bevin has announced that he will not use the state's new GOP majority to push through a bill restricting transgender bathroom use even though earlier this year, Bevin joined a lawsuit challenging the federal government's directive that public schools allow students to use the bathroom of their gender identity.

Matty did the flip-flop, saying Kentucky has no need to pass a law restricting transgender bathroom use because it is not an issue here. Or maybe it’s not an issue worth getting yourself flushed out of office?

In another step towards GOP dictatorship, the Republican Party has given control of state-run radio to President-elect _____.

An amendment quietly inserted into the annual National Defense Authorization Act by Republican House leaders would abolish the broadcasting board and place Voice of America [VOA], Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty [RFE/RL] and other international news and information operations under the direct control of a chief executive appointed by the president.

President _____ is really angling to be Putin’s bitch.

Resist.

Sitting at one of our local bars the other night after work, enjoying a glass of wine, I overheard the conversation of two Republican gentlemen sitting nearby. A news channel on one of the televisions had a report on climate change and this is what the two men were saying ....

Gentleman #1: I don’t believe in global warming. It’s all just a myth. I mean, look how cold it’s been lately.

Gentleman #2: Yeah, it’s all fake, but I do think there’s some truth to this climate change stuff.

I wanted to shout ‘Global warming and climate change are the same thing you two asshats’ but, well, I had a second glass of wine instead.

Still, with fools like these men calling themselves Republicans, how did they manage to get _____ elected?

Random Musings

Last Sunday, after learning of the shooting at Pulse in Orlando, I was, needless to say, at a loss. I kinda stumbled through the day, doing this and that without really thinking.

After dinner, Carlos and I settled in to watch TV and, my Gaydar pinged to remind me that the Tony Awards we’re on … I am a huge show queen.

And I needed that show that night; not just because of the things said about Orlando by host James Cordon, or by winners like Lin-Manuel Miranda and Frank Langella, but because the show is about differences. Most of the acting awards went to people of color; a lot of the nominees are openly gay; it was the anti-Oscars and seeing that kind of diversity and love and acceptance and applause really made a difference at the end of that day.

Speaking of the Tonys …

As the show began I was calling out the names of actors I recognized from the audience.

Megan Hilty, who was in Wicked. Neil Patrick Harris … bald, for a role. Oprah? WTF? Audra McDonald!

Bob: Angela Lansbury!

Carlos: Isn’t she dead.

Bob: Yes, but they wheel her corpse in for every show because she’s freaking Angela Lansbury!

Bless his heart.

Another upside — and yes, something positive can come from it — from the Orlando shooting came out of Utah this week when the state’s Republican Lt. Governor, Spencer Cox, addressed the shooting … and apologized:

“I grew up in a small town and went to a small rural high school. There were some kids in my class that were different. Sometimes I wasn’t kind to them. I didn’t know it at the time, but I know now that they were gay. I will forever regret not treating them with the kindness, dignity and respect — the love — that they deserved. For that, I sincerely and humbly apologize.”

You can say ‘It’s about time,’ or ‘Why did it take a mass murder for you to apologize.’

I say, Thank you, for coming to your senses.

The Democrats are not playing … this week, in Congress, Republican Goose-stepping Speaker of the House Paul Ryan called for a moment of silence for victims of the Orlando massacre something happened …

House Democrats weren’t having it, and began shouting at Ryan, "Where's the bill?" and "No leadership." Democrats were angry that Ryan had not let the body consider bills intended to curb gun violence because Paul Ryan is in the pocket of the NRA.

South Carolina Congressman, and Democrat, Jim Clyburn expressed to Speaker Ryan that he was concerned that several bills drafted after the Charleston Church shooting were not being considered, but before Clyburn could finish, Paul Ryan ruled his question out of order and directed the House to move to the next vote because … NRA … big check … goose-stepping Republican. 

And that’s why the Democrats, lead by Senator Chris Murphy of Connecticut, hijacked Congress with their filibuster. After fifteen hours, the Blue Party succeeded in forcing a vote from the GOP.

I see Paul Ryan losing his post in November and I for one will cheer.

UPDATE

Apparently this wasn’t his first time being lenient with rapists.

Remember Judge Aaron Persky who sentenced Brock Turner to six months for raping an unconscious girl? Well, that’s nothing new for Persky; he’s has made questionable rulings that favored a group of athletes accused of rape in the past.

The rulings came during a civil case from 2011 when a group of baseball players were accused of gang raping an unconscious woman at a party; they were caught in the act by other young men at the party.

Sound familiar? One of Persky's allowed the defendants’ lawyers to show the victim dressed in revealing clothing in Facebook pictures taken six months after the assault because, well, victim shaming is Persky’s “thang.”

And because of this second, or first, questionable ruling, calls for Persky to resign are growing louder; even members of the US took to the House floor to call for his removal. But the current Santa Clara County District Attorney, Jeff Rosen, does not want the judge removed despite disagreeing with his sentencing ruling.

“While I strongly disagree with the sentence that Judge Persky issued in the Brock Turner case, I do not believe he should be removed from his judgeship.”

Really? How many more rape victims were be put on trial in a Persky courtroom? And how many more rapists will get a slap on the wrist from him? 

Back to the Tonys and a trio of hot winners, all from Hamilton:

Daveed Diggs, top left, won for the dual roles as both the Marquis de Lafayette and Thomas Jefferson.

Lin-Manuel Miranda, right, won Tony awards for Best original Score and Best Book of a Musical; he was also nominated for playing Alexander Hamilton in the show but lost to …

Leslie Odom Hr.; bottom left, who won for the role of Aaron Burr in Hamilton.

Hamil-hotties, I say.

So, convicted gay basher Kathryn Knott was sentenced to five to 10 months in jail last February, and begged the judge to let her out so she could film a Public Service announcement about, what, the evils of gay bashing?

The judge said ‘No;’ so now convicted gay basher Kathryn Knott is pleading with Judge Roxanne Covington to grant her request for early parole because she’s been good for a couple of months.

I’m not a judge — which is lucky for convicted gay basher Kathryn Knott — because if I were the judge in this case this is what I’d say:

“If you ask me one more time to get out of jail early, I’m’a double your sentence. Get back to the rock pile, bitch.”

Knott’s minimum release date based is July 8th but I hope the judge makes her stay longer.

I don’t shop at Walmart; I loathe Walmart for a number of reasons.

But …Walmart has just fired a Marietta, Georgia store employee who, using the account @IWillTryLater, Tweeted out that the shooting at an Orlando LGBT nightclub that left 50 dead was “someone doing community service”:

The Tweet went viral, as did requests from other Twitterers demanding Walmart do something.

And they did; they fired the man, who has since deleted his original tweets and replaced his cover photo with one showing himself in a Walmart vest making an obscene gesture.

Some asshats never learn.

Just a few things I've seen around the interwebz in the wake of Orlando ... some make me feel better, some make me angry, and the last one was one of the first laughs I've had this week ...