I Ain't One To Gossip, But....

Kris Jenner, mom and fame-whore manager, is pissed at daughter  Khloé  Kardashian for supporting her husband Lamar Odom's idea to pull the plug on their reality show.

Her daughter supports her husband's decision to live their lives as much outside the spotlight as possible, and mom is angry. Yeah, that's normal.

Khloé and Lamar decided to not do a third season of their E! reality spin-off show, so Lamar could focus on his career, which is, from what I read, cuz I don't know nuthin' about them sports things, in a downward spiral. The couple's decision on what to do with their own lives has put them at odds with Kris, who never met a dollar sign she didn't want to screw.

A family insider, and I'm sure their name starts with a 'K' says,  "The idea to pull the plug on the show was all Lamar's. He felt that it was becoming a distraction and Khloé fully supported her husband. Lamar just isn't in a good place right now, he is dealing with his ailing father and trying to get back into shape so he can sign with an NBA team. Kris doesn't think it was necessary for them to not do another season of the show though and told them that Ryan Seacrest's production team would work with Khloé and Lamar to film less. Kris told Khloé that viewers could be inspired by what they are going through right now because the unemployment rate is so high. However, Khloé isn't budging and told her mom there will be no show, period. This is the problem when a mother makes money off of her kids, it could cloud her judgement."

What kind of mother wouldn't support their own child's decisions on how they choose to live? oh, yeah, a mom like Kris Jenner who gets a 10 percent commission on all of her children and Lamar's deals that she has brokered. 

It's not about parenting to Kris Jenner, it's about her bank account.

This is rich.

Charlie Sheen is threatening to sue New York strip club Cheetahs for millions, claiming the club now has a VIP room named in his honor--where guests eat sushi off the bodies of scantily clad women.

Charlie says, and forgive me for giggling, that this damages his reputation.

He feels that allowing guest, for just $250 a person, to eat raw fish off the half-nekkid body of a high-class pole dancer, in a room festooned with pictures of grinning, sometimes toothless, almost always drug addled, Charlie Sheen, is bad for his career.

Unless, of course, Charlie gets a cut.

Sam Zherka, president of the company that owns Cheetahs, says the Charlie Sheen room was created over a year ago because: “We figured it would be comical to name a room after him. It was a room where you could dine on sushi served on cellophane on the body of one of our entertainers, not where you do crack.“

Oh, snap.

Then came notification from Sheen's team of round-the-clock lawyers to cease and desist, claiming the usage of his name would be detrimental to Sheen's persona.

"How could sushi damage Charlie Sheen’s reputation?” Zherka mused. “We thought dedicating a room to dine in his honor would help repair and elevate his image. He should have called us up and thanked us.“

But, Cheetahs blinked first, and the Sheen room is no more, although there was one last hurrah where all the pictures of Crazy Charlie were tossed into a dumpster.

Kinds like the real thing.

So, Lindsay.

It seems Original Recipe Lohan was actually on her best behavior at the White House Correspondents dinner, even though she did miss her plane because she was late. A habit for the cracktress. And she looked pretty good, except for the semi-deflated balloon lips she's trying to loose before playing Liz Taylor in a Craptime, er, lifetime, movie.

There were no stories of Lohan Drink Tossing, and no fisticuffs with rising politicos, although rumor has it Lohan was bitching at her assistant almost non-stop.

Get me a drink, and put it in a water bottle so people think I'm sober.

That kinda thing.

And there was some spin that Lohan , on one of her many trips to the bathroom, met an elderly Latina cleaning woman in the ladies’ room, and told her:"You’re too old to be doing this kind of work.” 

And then she ALLEGEDLY gave the woman a $100 tip.

Now, two things: where did Lohan get a C-note, and if she had one, you know darn well she'd be using it for vodka and Vicodin.

Oh, yeah, and while she chainsmoked almost all night long, she was telling people it was part of her "research"to play Taylor.

No, not Rip Taylor.

Ryan O'Neal.

The new face of Pathetic, a gossip magazine where stars tell the most horrid stories about themselves just to make a buck.

O'Neal is making the rounds, peddling a book he "wrote" about his life with Farrah Fawcett, but somehow he makes himself the victim of Farrah’s moods and made her death all about him. 

And, when it came to talking about his kids, all of them, except Patrick who was raised by his mother, who have had their share of drug dram and arrests, he admitted he was a "bad parent".

Still, O'Neal barely remembered to mention his youngest child, Redmond, with Farrah, when he, perhaps jokingly, asked, “Who’s the other one? Redmond.” Either way, it came across as cruel.

Ryan, suffering from pancreatic cancer and leukemia, spares no one in his stories. Rumor had it that he used to party hard, drugs and booze style, with Redmond, which lead to Redmond's addictions and drug arrests and rehab stints. 

And in daughter Tatum's biography A Paper Life, she tells of the neglect, and physical and emotional abuse she suffered as a child. Tatum tells about the friend of her father's who molested her, and how, at the age of 12 she was taken to an orgy by then 17 year-old Melanie Griffith, who was dating 34-year-old Ryan, at the time.

Loverly.

Look for Ryan on the inaugural issue of Pathetic at your local newsstand.

Lotsa folks--and I include myself--believe Queen Latifah is gay, though she's never said a word about it to anyone. Publicly.

But, there were all the stories about her life with personal trainer, Jeanette Jenkins, and how they bought a house together. And then came the pictures of Queen and Jenkins, on that yacht, where they were all huggy and groping. 

And then came stories that Queen dumped Jenkins and is now dating a woman named Eboni Nichols. Eboni and Latifah were even photographed together at last year’s US Open. 

Now, she does get a half-assed pass from me for not publicly coming out--as bisexual or gay--because she's never done that I haven't found the right guy interview and she's never done the I'm straight dammit press tour. 

But that may be changing.

Maybe Latifah is tired of life in the Glass Closet, or maybe she's just looking for a gig, but either way, she'll be headlining at this year’s Long Beach Lesbian & Gay Pride Festival.

Will she come out? I would like that. It would do a lot for young Black girls who are Lesbian and closeted.

Will she not come out? Well, lots of straight performers perform at Pride events, so her appearance there isn't a lock on her Lesbianism.

Still....come out, come out, wherever you are, Latifah.

Lotsa folks wringing their hands over Lindsay Lohan’s casting as Elizabeth Taylor.

And for good reason. 

Even though it’s just a low budget, cheap-assed Lifetime disaster-to-be, it’s the principle of the thing.

Lindsay is no Liz Taylor.

I mean, she is considered one of the great beauties of the 20th century--No, not Lohan--and was a great actress--No, not Lohan,--a brilliant activist for AIDS--No, not Lohan--and a fabulous philanthropist--NO! Not Lindsay!

So, how does anyone think that kind of person needs to be portrayed, even on the small screen, by convicted criminal,jewel thief, alcoholic, drug addicted, car-jacking, kidnapping, Lohan.

Oops, forgot to add ALLEGEDLY.

And, even Elizabeth’s family is furious that Lindsay Lohan's casting as Taylor.

A family friend--okay, it was me--told the Enquirer: “Liz’s sons, Michael and Chris Wilding, feel there are many other actresses who are far more qualified to play their famous mother. They think gorgeous and talented stars such as Cate Blanchett or Emily Blunt should have been short-listed for the role. Liz deserves better."

Well, I can't imagine Cate or Emily doing a cheesy Lifetime bio-pic, which was why they were never asked, but, come on, there aren't any other TV stars, who don't have a criminal record, and actually have talent, who could play Taylor?

And again, I don't mean Rip Taylor.

Lohan would have been perfect to play Rip.

It looks like it might be a "Skinny Girl Situation."

Rumors are swirling, as they are apt to do, that Bethenny Frankel, the married 41-year-old star of reality TVs Bethenny Ever After recently hooked up with....hang on, I think I threw up a little in my mouth.....The Jersey Shore, um star[?] Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino.

I know. It's like an STDapalooza.

But the cheating scandal is threatening to ruin Frankel's already troubled marriage, and even, maybe, perhaps, fingers crossed, the launch of her new daytime talk show.

It all started with a Blind Item that appeared last October: “Strangest hookup ever…This controversial female married A-list reality star spent a good five minutes making out with this second fiddle reality star who thinks he is way better than he is.”

Then, just last month it was revealed that the subjects of the item were Bethenny and 29-year-old Sorrentino! 

“Bethenny has vehemently denied it, calling the rumor ‘a lot of B.S.,’” a source--and we all know it's Andy Cohen....or Kathy Griffin-- at the Bravo network said. But her husband of two years, Jason Hoppy, isn’t so sure.

“He’s been suspicious for some time because of all the problems they’ve had,” the source continued. “Bethenny’s marriage to Jason has already been hanging by a thread, and this could finally sink it.”

Bethenny is probably more worried about how the rumors might affect her new TV gig, the talk show,which begins test runs on FOX in June.

Yeah, I can kinda see this happening.

Two reality show whores mixing their DNA and then sobering up and realizing it was all a tragic mistake.

Next week, on a very special Bethenny....

It’s been a while since we’ve had any news on the Halle Berry/Gabriel Aubry custody battle. In fact, it’s been downright quiet since Halle “I never will marry….again” Berry announced her engagement to French actor Oliver Martinez. Halle has made it quite clear, though, in her court actions, that she wants to replace Nahla’s father, Gabriel, with Oliver, and wants to do so sooner rather than later.

But Gabriel is  pushing back to assert his parental rights. His latest move involves asking for a “substantial increase” in his child support from Halle, to $20,000 a month.

Now, it may sound like a lot, but, let’s say the situation were reversed, and it was Aubry making the big bucks and Halle making substantially less; we wouldn’t even be having the discussion.

And, adding to the demand for increased child support, Aubry also wants Halle to pay his legal fees, which stand, right now, at about $500,000. Aubry was in court, arguing for the increase, but didn’ty have the proper paperwork, so the judge postponed his decision,

Gabriel believes he’s entitled to the money because he needs a proper environment to care for 4-year-old Nahla, whom Halle wants to take with her, and move to Paris so she can Oui Oui and Oooh la la with Martinez.

Now, as I said, if the genders were reversed, the request for increased support would hardly raise an eyebrow, except for maybe the amount of the increase. But, remember this, while Aubry has been said to make about $700,000 a year as a model, during his time with Berry she often called him a loser for not making as much as she did. Berry’s net worth is estimated at $70 million and reports claim she earns $16 million a year, though, given the number of crap movies she’s been in lately, that’s probably no longer accurate.

So, he probably doesn’t need the money, but this is his way of continuing to assert his parental rights against the woman who wants to take his child out of the country.

Plus, there was that whole abuse claim filed by Team Halle against Aubry that got tossed out of court. 

Lots of folks say Halle is a beautiful woman…..on the outside, only though, it seems

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

I guess the homophobe doesn't fall far from the....ALLEGEDLY self-loathing-closeted-homosexual...tree. OMG did I say that out loud?
Back in the day, when Tommy was a nubile young buck starring in Risky Business, his co-star, Bronson Pinchot, said this about him: "He was tense and made constant, constant unrelated homophobic comments, like, ‘You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?’ I mean, his lingo was larded with the most… There was no basis for it. It was like, ‘It’s a nice day, I’m glad there are no gay people standing here.’ Very, very strange.”
So, that makes this story all the more plausible.
See, Tommy's son, Connor, is a Patriots fan, and Todd Krim, his representative--yes he has representation because he wants to go into show biz--is not. Well, after the Patriots lost, and probably right around the same time that Gisele Bundchen was having her meltdown, Krim sent  Connor a playfully gloating text: “Sorry @TheConnorCruise maybe next year!!!”  . 
Connor wasn't having it, and went all gay slur on it, Tweeting back: “That was a gay ass [bleeping] tweet . . . U don’t say [bleep] like that about my team the second they lose. Low.”
Methinks Connor has been drinking too long from the Font of Homophobia KoolAid at the Scientology Headquarters. And, once the the Tweet was out, you know Tommy went all sassy on his son and demanded he apologize. I mean, there's only room for one raging homophobe in the Cruise house, so, Connor non-apologized: “What I texted was unacceptable. It is not a reflection of who I am and what I feel, and it certainly won’t happen again.”
Until the next time he gets his panties in a twist. Or maybe he'll just threaten $100 million lawsuits like his daddy.

I didn't see much of Madonna's halftime show at the Superbowl because I was busy watching Downton Abbey.
Deal with it.
But I heard about the bird-flipping incident caused by M.I.A. and don't get why people are all verklempt. I mean, you can see that hand gesture anywhere these days. Sure it makes M.I.A. look like a moron but what do you expect from someone who calls themselves M.I.A.?
But the good part, er, funny part, er snarky part, is that Madge is ALLEGEDLY fuming over the whole thing because The Finger is a bigger topic of conversation than her performance. A source--and by source, I think it's Lourdes--says, “Madonna wasn’t impressed. She prides herself on professionalism. M.I.A did nothing similar in rehearsals. Nobody knew she was going to pull this stunt. Madonna wanted to put on a world-beating performance. But everyone ended up talking about this girl’s middle finger.”
M.I.A. did nothing like it in rehearsals? Isn't that just what MTV said all those years ago when Madonna liplocked Britney--before she went crazy--and Christina--before she got fat--on TV?
Pot. Kettle. Madonna.

Lohan didn't do anything this week to cause trouble, but she's always good for a headline. Especially because she shows up anywhere, like the opening of an envelope.But at a recent amFAR event in NYC, the wacktress showed up looking all kinds of cracked out. The hair was cracked. The dress was cracked. The face was beyond cracked.
First off: Bangs? Oh, honey, No. You just know that Lohan, in a fit of vodka and prescription meds, found the kindergarten scissors one night took 'em to her hair. But then there's the eyes, and the crazy nose, and the not-so-ALLEGEDLY new lips. Or mouth. Or maw.
She's all posing and smiling and twisting and turning and she looks like she's high as a kite. Or as crazy as Umbrella Britney.
Lohan still has a few months left on her probation and this does not bode well.

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino wants everyone to know that GTL stands for "gym, tan, laundry"--not in LGBT, you know.
He is ALLEGEDLY miffed at fellow reality show media whores--and I don't mean a Kardashian, this time--Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and Jenni "JWoww" Farley after they hinted he might be gay in an interview.
"Mike really ripped both Snooki and JWoww a new one," a show insider--and by insider, I mean, The Situation's best boy--said, because, you know, Sorrentino is worried that those comments could hurt the endorsements that he targets at nubile young straight men.
In the interview, JWoww and Snooki imply that Mike has questioned his own sexuality: "He brings it up," JWoww says. "He'll say, 'People think I'm gay and I don't know what they're talking about.'" 
Snooki raised her head from the toilet bowl, to add: "He told me one time, '[All the talk is] making me wonder.'"
Hey, girls, and I use the term girls loosely, stop saying The Situation is gay. We don't want him on our team. Seriously.
He's like a walking petri dish of STDs. ALLEGEDLY. And so are the two of you.

So, is it a baby or a marketing tool?
You be the judge.
Blue Ivy Carter--Jay Z and Beyonce's bundle of money--is barely a month old, and she’s already an official brand. Beyonce and Jay-Z have filed paperwork to trademark BIC. 
Seriously. Rolling Stone reports that the new mom and dad filed an application with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office to protect their daughter’s name; the music superstars intend to use Blue Ivy as a potential brand name for a line of baby products, including carriages, diaper bags and baby cosmetics.
The application to make the baby a company was made through the mama's company, and the couple says they're merely trademarking their child because other people might try to use the name and they want first rights at marketing their offspring.
After all, they ALLEGEDLY paid someone good money to have that baby for them.
Just sayin'. 
Is it a baby or a moneymaker.

Supermodel with the super-big-mouth Gisele Bundchen has been big news all week because of her comments about Tom Brady’s teammates after the Super Bowl. The Patriots feel betrayed and their wives feel insulted.
And everybody has an opinion on whether or not Gisele is a mouthy bitch. And yet, remarkably, the one person staying silent on the whole issue is Gisele's hubby, Tom Brady. He hasn't even stepped up to defend the missus for her rant.
What does that mean? Well, the Enquirer knows: sources--and by sources I mean Tom Brady's team of beauty experts...because you know it takes a village to keep him looking hot--says he is incensed over his wife's big-mouthery, and added, “Gisele was out of control! Tom prides himself on his professionalism and here was his wife screaming at reporters. He was embarrassed--and furious! Out of sight of the others, he let her know it. ‘Zip it!,’ he told her. He sacked her, telling her she’s got to keep her feelings to herself.”
Um, I get a different impression of how Tom sacks Gisele. 
Really, he should just tape her mouth shut.

When I first read this story I got a whole different take on it.
Rumor has it that Jennifer Lopez and her boy-toy, Casper Smart are looking to adopt.
My first thought was, "She wants to adopt him?"
But then I realized that they mean JLo and The Boy want a baby to call their own. You know, something to play with; something to keep Casper busy while MamaLo works; something to rub in  Marc Anthony's face--though I'm sure he and his Baby Girlfriend will be rushing to the adoption agency on JLo's heels.
And JLo thinks Casper would be a good baby daddy because she already let's her kids call him  “Daddy Casper,” or maybe that was "Big Brother Casper"?
This sort of fits in with the JLo M.O. She doesn't date; she marries. And, so, why not marry the boy and the pick up a little bundle of future income like Beyonce and Jay Z?
It's all the rage.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

Hey, Hines Ward?!? You just won Dancing With the Stars! How are you gonna celebrate?
By getting a DUI, I guess, which does not mean "Dancing Under the Influence" but "Driving Under the Influence".

Police officers Ward was pulled over, in DeKalb County, Georgia, about 2AM one morning after swerving down the street and hitting a curb in his Aston Martin.
He took a number of tests on the scene. Tap. Jazz. Interpretive Ballet. And he failed all of them, along with a variety of intoxication tests, including a hand-held breath test, which came out positive for alcohol consumption. Ward ALLEGEDLY became agitated during the tests, and swayed back and forth while with officers and even mixed up the letters in the alphabet. He later refused to give a breath sample on a Breathalyzer machine at the DeKalb County jail.
He did admit to having the requisite two beers before getting behind the wheel of his car, but he may wanna rethink that. Two beers does not make ones BAC nearly twice the legal limit, unless he meant two cases, or two kegs.
His lawyer, however, is singing a different tune, probably after getting a hefty retainer check. He says Ward was not under the influence and that his cooperation with the police was uncanny.
What is uncanny is how a grown-ass man can't remember his alphabet, and some over-paid, self-entitled athlete can't just hire a driver so her can drink all the Corona in the place without endangering anyone else on the road.
I wonder if he'd killed someone on his drunk driving spree, how his lawyer might have spun it.
 
Oh, those Jersey Shore kids.
Fights. Peeing in public. Arrests, Car crashes. Lawsuits.

Yup, now it's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's turn to be sued for $1 million.
It seems that Gotham NYC Entertainment--whcih sounds like a cover for some low-rent porn-making company....ALLEGEDLY--is claiming Sorrentino breached their contract when he fired them in May for "lack of performance."
The management company says the 'Jersey Shore' star failed to give them the required 30-day notice to fix any problems before he terminated their services. Gotham says they served as Sorrentino's managers since 'The Jersey Shore' premiered on MTV in 2009 and have helped him take "his career from relative obscurity to become an international celebrity."
International douchebag, maybe.
Still, The Situation, illiterate as he may be, he most likely has the cash to shell out should he lose. He ALLEGEDLY made $100,000 per episode for the fourth season of Jersey Crappola.
Except, maybe he won't be getting any more MTV paychecks. Sorrentino, perhaps realizing he can't pretend to be in his 20s anymore, now that he clearly looks to be closing in on forty, has decided to bail on the fifth season of the reality show.
Such a shame.

Singer and serial dieter, or is it cereal dieter, Carnie Wilson is ALLEGEDLY facing a foreclosure on her L.A. home.

According to documents from the L.A. County Recorder's Office, it seems that Wilson has defaulted on her mortgage and still owes a whopping $1.6 million on her house. And she ALLEGEDLY has just a few days to come up with the cash or her home will hit the auction block.
Wilson, who recently appeared with fellow Wilson Phillips members Wendy Wilson and Chynna Phillips in 'Bridesmaids,' also made headlines last fall due to her weight. And a lawsuit.
Wilson was ALLEGEDLY fired as spokeswoman for Fresh Diet, a food delivery service, when it became apparent that she had actually gained weight while on the program.
Cereal dieter.
But I guess you can't blame her, really. She ALLEGEDLY lost 19 pounds while using the service, but gained it all back when she launched her own.....wait for........it's not a diet........wait for it.....she launched her own CHEESECAKE company.
Now, she is ALLEGEDLY fat and happy, fat and sassy, and maybe fat and homeless, saying, "I'm fat as f**k, what can I say? You know, after all these years, it's just like we are who we are and it's a struggle for me and sometimes I'm heavier and sometimes I'm thinner."
Sometimes I have a home, and sometimes I don't.


This makes me giggle.

It seems that former " 3rd Rock from the Sun" actress Kristen Johnston recently found herself on a cross-country flight with Nadya Suleman and all twelve of her children.
On the flight, from New York City to Los Angeles, the Suleman gang ALLEGEDLY took up most of business class, and were being unruly and crying, while the flight was delayed for more than two hours.
The crying babies....the TWELVE crying babies....proved too much for Johnson, so she walked over to Nadya and told her to keep those kids quiet. Nadya ALLEGEDLY fired back: “How would you like me to keep eight 2-year-olds quiet?”
Kristen ALLEGEDLY responded, “Get more help!”
Nadya shouted back, “Why don’t you grow a baby and get a life!”
Why.Don't.You.Grow.A.Baby?
Um, why don't you stop?
Seriously. Just stop.