It's Snarkurday!

I remember years ago, when she was appearing on American Idol, there was the thought that maybe Paula Abdul was a little tipsy.

And maybe she still is, because last week, while performing the second date on her Straight Up 2018 tour, Abdul fell off the stage right in the middle of lip-syncing one of her, um, hits.

It all happened when Paula was dancing, er, walking, across a stage covered in billowing silk scarves. But that isn’t what tripped her up—see what I did there?—it was the fact that she just kept walking, off the edge and into the crowd.

This tour doesn’t look good for Abdul. The first show was cancelled due to what she claimed were production issues with the venue. It seems Abdul claimed the venue wasn’t big enough to hold some of her stage props, but shouldn’t that have been taken care of before, oh, I dunno, booking the venue?

Still, a bigger venue would have meant a larger stage and maybe Paula would have been able to stay Straight Up.

And see what I did there?

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Queen Latifah has been quite shy about her personal life, especially when it comes to the fact that she’s a lesbian. She has never acknowledged it, even though she’s been in a long-term relationship with former LA Lakers cheerleader Eboni Michaels. And even though there are all kinds of photos of Latifah and her, ahem, gal pal, getting cozy on a yacht a few years back. But how is she gonna spin this story, if she even deems to discuss it?

It appears that Eboni is with child and it is rumored that Latifah and Eboni might be headed to the altar as well.

Will she ever talk about it? I dunno, but it pisses me off because it continues the stigma that there is some shame involved.

Open your mouth, Queen, it’s fine out here.

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Megyn Kelly will do and or say anything to get people to watch her show, but she may have gone too far this past week when she said she saw nothing wrong with white people donning blackface for Halloween.

Kelly says she remembers a simpler time when white people could adopt another race because it was fun; kind of like that simpler time when white people owned black people?

To make matters worse she had a roundtable discussion of blackface with, wait for it, it’s totally Fox News-ish, four white people. She didn’t even think to get the opinion of a black person?

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Well, she did when the Today Show let Al Roker and Craig Melvin have a go at Kelly, whom many have now dubbed #BlackfaceBecky. The following day, during the first hour of Today, Melvin and Roker took Kelly to task for being tone deaf and, well, dumb.

Al said: “The fact is, while she apologized to the staff, she owes a bigger apology to folks of color round the country. This is a history going back to the 1830s minstrel shows to demean and denigrate a race. It wasn’t right. I’m old enough to know have lived through Amos ‘n’ Andy, where you had white people in blackface playing two black characters, just magnifying the worst stereotypes about black men—and that’s what the problem is. That’s what the issue is.”

Melvin said: “There was some criticism yesterday online that this was political correctness run amok. That’s silly. It’s disingenuous and it’s just as ignorant and racist as the statement itself. In addition to her being a colleague, she’s a friend. She said something stupid. she said something indefensible. A lot of folks don’t realize that Jim Crow is shorthand for the racist laws that have existed in this country for much of the last century, especially in the deep south; they termed Jim Crow from a minstrel show in the 1830s. I guess it was an opportunity for us to learn a little bit more about black face—but I think a lot of people knew about black face.”

And so, in order to keep her face, and racist asshattery in the news to drum up viewers, Kelly faux-pologized: “One of the wonderful things about my job is that I get the chance to express and hear a lot of opinions. Today is one of those days where listening carefully to other points of view, including from friends and colleagues, is leading me to rethink my own views. When we had the roundtable discussion … about the controversy of making your face look like a different race as part of a Halloween costume, I suggested that this seemed okay if done as part of this holiday where people have the chance to make themselves look like others. The iconic Diana Ross came up as an example. To me, I thought, why would it be controversial for someone dressing up as Diana Ross to make herself look like this amazing woman as a way of honoring and respecting her?”

Faux-pology; Kelly should have said “I was wrong. I’m sorry.” And then shut her cake-hole. Instead she rambled and then ended with telling the NBC News staff that she is “honored to work with all of you every day.”

Especially the black ones?

Still, it did speak volumes that NBC let two of their on-air talent take another, ahem, “talent,” to task for being tone-dead and brain-dead. But, Megyn probably scored a few more viewers for her show so she’s no doubt happy.

UPDATE: Megyn Kelly is out at NBC News, but she’ll be taking her full $69 million paycheck with her unless network bosses can prove she somehow violated her contract.

Oh NBC, between Lauer and Kelly you spend more money on firing asshats than you do hiring them.            

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This kills me … That Woman is ALLEGEDLY bought Sheila Kolker, a close friend, a facelift.

Wow. Can you imagine that gift exchange? Kolker probably unwrapped the souls of dead babies for That Woman, and then That Woman says …

“You could use a nip and tuck.”

Everyone needs a friend like that. But, to be clear, Kim and Khloe and Kourtney and Kendall and Kylie’s Koven mother didn’t give the gift out of a sense of love, she gave it so it could be filmed as part of Keeping Up With The Kardastrophes. It’s all, and only, about ratings and ego.

And some kind of Devil worship, too, I imagine.

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Lastly … as the TV season began,  the folks behind Modern Family said a “significant character” was going to die this season, which may, or may not, be the last for the series.

My money was on Manny, because he was cute as a kid, but as an adult …no so much. But it wasn’t Manny …and it wasn’t so shocking and it wasn’t a really significant character.

It was DeDe, played by Shelley Long, Mitchell and Claire’s mother, and Jay’s ex-wife. And she died off-screen before the episode even started.

Seriously? Calling Lon’s character “significant” is a bigger stretch than get Starr Jones into an evening gown. Long appeared in seven of the show’s more than 200 episodes.

The dog has had more screen time.

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Minute Rant: Queen Latifah

Queen Latifah on her lesbian sex scenes in the HBO film, Bessie, about legendary blues singer, and ALLEGED lesbian, Bessie Smith:

“People feel a type of way when they see any sexuality on-screen. I think it's almost human nature. People are so fascinated by it. It shouldn’t even be a discussion. But it is, because people are still curious, and people still wonder how they feel about things. At the end of the day I don’t really care if someone feels uncomfortable about it. It is what it is, and it’s life. So you either deal with it or not. It’s just part of who she is, and I had to tell the story honestly.”

It’s funny to me, and ironic and annoying, that Latifah, feels a sense of duty to honestly tell Bessie’s story, including the many supposed relationships she had with women, while Latifah is a closeted lesbian herself and says that her sexual orientation, or personal life is no one’s business.

But, I guess if someone’s giving you a paycheck, you’ll tell their “story.”

Too bad there were no pictures of Bessie making out with her girlfriend on a yacht like the ones that surfaced a couple of years ago with Latifah kissing ion her girlfriend.

Dana Dana Dana; you are a hypocrite.

I Didn't Say It ....

Coca-Cola, a Sochi Olympics sponsor, on removing a social media tool from its website that banned the use of the word “gay”:

"We are aware that the Share a Coke promotion we are running in South Africa has generated an unintended outcome. We apologize for any offence caused. The Share a Coke programme was created to allow consumers to take the iconic “Coca-Cola” script and replace it with their name on the can. In South Africa, the digital version of the Share a Coke promotion did not properly limit the customisation to individuals’ names. We’ve taken down the site and are in the process of revising the digital tool immediately...As one of the world’s most inclusive brands, we value and celebrate diversity. We have long been a strong supporter of the LGBT community and have advocated for inclusion, equality and diversity through both our policies and practices. Again we apologize for any offense this has caused."

Don't apologize for "any" offense, apologize for "the" offense.
Apologize, and then shut up.

Queen Latifah, on officiating the 33 marriages at the Grammys:

“I look forward to the day when presiding over a historic wedding ceremony like this is just the norm. To me, it was special to all the couples we married today and I look forward to dashing off to go sign their marriage certificates. It’s awesome. I had to get sworn in as a commissioner for the state of California, so I’m not an ordained minister like I said, but I’m a commissioner. So you can call me to commish – Queen Commish!"

Mmmm, I have all kinds of reservations about Latifah and her gay-friendly, but gay-silent attitude.
She'll use us as a crowd for a performance, and she'll marry us, but she doesn';t want anyone to know she's one of us.

Tim Graham, of the Media Research Center, on the Grammy weddings:

“They can say this is not a stunt, but that's exactly what it is, a piece of musical agitprop to mock the traditional values of conservative American Christians, Jews, Muslims, and others. Entertainers never want to have a debate, just a series of arrogant 'statements' with no opportunity for a conversation as they flush the Bible on national TV."

So, love and marriage, mocks traditional values? And if they do, so what? Are traditional values the only kind anyone can have?
As I've said before, if you don't wanna witness a same-sex wedding don't go to one -- or turn the TV off when it comes on.
But don't mock my values, asshat.

Bill McElvaney, a Methodist pastor for 40 years, on being pro-marriage-equality:

“I think we need to take this position. It is long overdue in the United Methodist Church...This is a justice matter, but it's not just an issue. It's about people; it's about people being loved and accepted, and about the church being what it's called to be."

Gay folks are getting married, and if churches and ministers want to keep refusing, that's their right. But I imagine they'll change their tune when their memberships drop and the collection plates dry up because The Gays and The Gay Friendlies have walked away.

Lance Bass, on The Bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis’ gays are "perverted' comment:

"I don't hate him at all. I still think he's cute...Of course it's disappointing, because you don't want someone who (you) actually love to have those thoughts. ... When you grow up in a place like that, you get brainwashed into thinking that way, you know, you can't help what you grow up with...I mean, I grew up in Mississippi, so I know how people can get brainwashed into thinking really, really awful things. So hopefully, he will learn from this and get educated."

I don't hate Juan Pablo either, I just think he needs a little education, and a little more time to think before he opens his pretty little mouth again.

Queen Latifah, in 2008, on rumors she is a lesbian:

"I don’t have a problem discussing the topic of somebody being gay, but I do have a problem discussing my personal life. You don’t get that part of me. Sorry. We’re not discussing it in our meetings, we’re not discussing it at Cover Girl. They don’t get it, he doesn’t get it [she gestured toward her manager Shakim Compere’s office] — nobody gets that. I don’t feel like I need to share my personal life, and I don’t care if people think I’m gay or not. Assume whatever you want. You do it anyway."

I still say, what about all the young girls, especially young Black girls, who would see her as a role model if she came out?
Wouldn't that be great if, by saying she was gay, Latifah could help just one young girl accept herself?

John Aravosis, from Americablog, on Latifah’s refusal to discuss her ALLEGED gay-ness:

“One big problem with Latifah’s position is that she’s sending a message that there is a problem.  She’s signaling that there’s something wrong with being gay. … People can defend Latifah’s choice, claiming that she has a right to privacy.  And Latifah can talk all she wants about her desire to protect her “private life.”  But straight Americans – and particularly celebrities – don’t invoke the right to privacy when you simply inquire about the well-being of their spouse.  And they don’t rail about their “private life” when you ask, “how goes the girlfriend? ...The only time celebrities try to hide who they’re dating is when it’s someone else’s spouse, an underage child, an animal, a corpse, or a gay.”

Silence in speaking about your sexual orientation or your dating life, is totally tour business, but Aravosis is right that, in keeping silent, you feed the notion that the religious right and the conservative political zealots have, that being gay is something to hide, to be ashamed of, and it's not.
We don't want to know the intimate details of Latifah's private life, but since she keeps wading into our lives -- appearing at Pride fests, officiating same-sex weddings -- the least she can do is come out.

Steve Palazzo, a Mississippi Republican, in his campaign on Facebook in response to the Grammy wedding:

"Unfortunately, Hollywood doesn't value the same conservative beliefs we do in Mississippi. Last night's demonstration at the #Grammys is a perfect example of their disconnect."

Oh, I think you'd be surprised at how many people in  Mississippi had no problem with those marriages.
It's only goose-stepping Republicans who got their hate riled up.

Michele Bachman, wingnut republican and beard, planning to sue the President:

"He’s the president of the United States — he’s not a king. He may think he’s a king, he may declare himself king, but that’s not what he is under our Constitution. We’ll sue the president of the United States and force him to no longer act unilaterally. If he wants to go forward with his unilateral activity, he better be prepared for the lawsuit that the United States Congress will bring. Obamacare is the passed law of the land and yet the president has changed Obamacare at least 17 times on his own, unilaterally, without going through the legislative action that he’s required to do under the United States Congress. That’s just one. He also said that he would refuse to uphold the [Defense of Marriage Act], which he is required by law to uphold. He’s done this multiple times and he’s also threatened — we can’t say we weren’t warned — he’s threatened us tonight that he’s going to act unilaterally."

Honey, your time in Congress is nearly up, and you must be tired from acting the fool for all these years, exhausted trying to remember all the idiotic notions you spout.

Take a seat, Michele, and be quiet.

Random Musings

Wow. A new subgroup, People Against Betty Crocker.

Seriously, Tony Perkins of the hate group the Family Research Council has begun asking his sheep minions followers to boycott Betty Crocker because of the company's support for LGBT couples.

It all began when Betty Crocker donated custom cakes to three same-sex Minnesota couples who were married after the state legalized same-sex marriage, and Perkins is livid that a company spokesman said:

“Betty celebrates all families.”

Cuz that’s bad, you know.

I tend to bake cake from scratch but I may have to buy a Box’o‘Betty now.

Big Brother should start a new campaign when looking for next season’s contestants: Come on our show, say what you want and get fired.

I mean, this season Aaryn Gries and GinaMarie Zimmerman were fired from their jobs—while in seclusion in ‘The House’ and Spencer Clawson, a railroad conductor for Union Pacific, was denounced by his employer for his homophobic and pro-Hitler remarks on the show.

Now, we can add another name to that list: last Friday the College of DuPage confirmed via Facebook that openly gay contestant Andy Herren is no longer working for them and is now unemployed:

"Andy Herren has formerly worked for College of DuPage as a part-time instructor. He does not currently work for the College. Any behavior or language he uses on the CBS reality show "Big Brother" does not represent the opinions or values of College of DuPage."

Now, this just proves that The Gays can be as dumb and bigoted as The Straights, though Herren was slightly less offensive than some of the others. But, the episode that aired before Herren’s job announced that he no longer worked for them was one in which Herren agreed with finalist GinaMarie that many of the evicted houseguests were "robotic biracials."

I guess it’s good then that Andy Herren won this season, and the $500,000 prize because he’s out of work.

GinaMarie, also suddenly unemployed, gets $50,000, and I suggest for her that her first purchase be a dictionary.

So, there you have it, be a racist on TV and lose your job! Perhaps these three should try out for The Apprentice; they already have the You're Fired! part down.

Oh for the love of Julie Andrews WTF is NBC trying to do?

Seriously? Carrie Underwood as Maria von Trapp? Why not just change the title to reflect the real show: The Sound of Trainwreck!

I haven’t posted about the shootings at the Navy Yard because, well, why?

I mean, how many more of these shooting rampages do we need? How many more times must we express our outrage over people with easy access to guns shooting up a school or a mall or a movie theater or a Navy Yard.

We get all pissed off and we demand action from our political leaders and they do nothing and then we turn the TV back on to some insipid programming and forget about the shooting until it happens again.

It’s time to get off the fucking merry-go-round and demand, DEMAND, that Washington do something about guns, because at this rate, sooner or later, one of us will be on the wrong end of a gun-toting lunatic.

Queen Latifah has a new talk show. Again. I guess the film career is officially over. But here’s my question because I saw the first show.

Latifah, a deeply closeted lesbian who refuses to discuss her personal life, though we‘ve all seen the smooching pictures of her and her girlfriend on the yacht, so come out already, featured her first guest, deeply closeted and serial masseur groper, John Travolta who looks like a Madame Tussaud’s wax figure come to life. Seriously, I almost gagged watching these two deep-in-denial homos talk about their lives and their dreams.

Of course, it’s all on a show produced by ALLEGED deeply closeted homosexual beard couple Will and Jada Smith, and so, naturally, upcoming episodes feature both Smith children because if Mommy and Daddy can’t buy you a career in show business what good are they?

I recorded the new FX series, The Bridge, and this past week Carlos and I began watching it.

The premise is that a body is found on the bridge between El Paso, Texas, and Juarez, Mexico, and whose jurisdiction is it. It gets more sticky when it’s learned that the ‘body’ is actually two bodies, the top half that of an anti-immigration judge and the bottom half that of a young Mexican girl.

It really is a great story, and great storytelling, but then it adds one Demien Bichir as the Mexican lawman. And boys, he is hot.

Just saying. Good story, Hot Latino sheriff. Right up my alley.

I might be on the wrong side here, but I think this is good news.

In a 2-1 decision, the Eighth Circuit Court of Appeals has struck down a lower court's ruling that Brian Johnson, a preacher, could not hand out bibles on the grounds of Twin Cities Pride. 

Johnson had been distributing Bibles at Pride since 1995 without issue, but his application to set up a booth for the 2009 event was denied. He was also removed from the festival both that year and the year after. The Minnesota Park & Recreation Board said it had decided to restrict the distribution of literature away from high congestion areas.

But, here’s the deal, some of The Gays are religious folk who want a Bible, and maybe would speak to Johnson—who is not a fan of The Gays—but this is also an issue of Free Speech. Johnson should be allowed to hand out Bible and those folks that want one, or want to listen to him, can do so. Those folks that don’t want a Bible, and don’t want to hear Johnson can simply move on.

We, as a community, cannot tell people they cannot come to Pride, even if they are anti-gay; they have a right to their opinion, and rather than creating a huge court case out of the deal, why not simply let them come and ignore them?

Now, for some good news about Christians and The Gays.

Texas Rangers pitcher Robbie Ross and his wife Brittany are displaying their Christian faith in a new photo for the NoH8 campaign, proving you can be Christian and be LGBT-friendly.

During the shoot, the couple spoke about their vocal support for LGBT rights coming, not in spite of their faith, but because of it:

"Being in sports, and being around all kinds of different people, you just want to accept everyone for who they are. My wife Brittany and I are Christians, and we believe we as Christians should love everyone and show everyone love, and if this is the best way to do it, then we want to support them."

For her part, Brittany Ross said:

"It genuinely breaks my heart. We're all human, and we can all take things from the Bible and twist them however we want. You can basically take a verse from the Bible and say it's OK to beat your wife, but the world says that's not OK, so that's what we go with. And I think the world is saying that gay people in the community are OK. Jesus came to love people. He never persecuted anybody. There are a lot of confusing things in the Bible, and I think if anything is confusing and it promotes hate, then you're taking it the wrong way. Being gay shouldn't just be tolerated, it should be celebrated that people can embody who they truly are. I think that's the main thing."

Bravo and Brava!

I Didn't Say It ....

Michelle Obama, video-posting about marriage equality:

"This is an important issue for millions of Americans, and for Barack and me, it really comes down to the values of fairness and equality that we want to pass on to our girls. These are basic values that kids learn at a very young age and that we encourage them to apply in all areas of their lives. And in a country where we teach our children that everyone is equal under the law, discriminating against same-sex couples just isn’t right. So it’s as simple as that."

How anyone can teach their child to discriminate against anyone is beyond me.

Discrimination is discrimination and it's wrong.

Jane and Joseph Clementi, Tyler Clementi's parents, rejecting Dharun Ravi's "apology" as insincere:

“As to the so-called ‘apology,’ it was, of course, no apology at all, but a public relations piece produced by Mr. Ravi’s advisers only after Judge Berman scolded Mr. Ravi in open court for his failure to have expressed a word of remorse or apology. A sincere apology is personal. Many people convicted of crimes address the victims and their families in court. Mr. Ravi was given that opportunity but chose to say nothing. His press release did not mention Tyler or our family, and it included no words of sincere remorse, compassion or responsibility for the pain he caused.”

Here's how this should have worked, Dharun. You look the Clementi's in the eye and tell them you're sorry. You don't make the apology about you and the kind of person you say you are, but you simply say, 'I'm sorry.'

Is that so hard? No, no for a person who actually shows remorse, which you do not.

David Caton, still up in arms over Disney's Gay Days, and comparing LGBT people to gang members:

"Dozens of gang members visiting Disneyland in California have been evicted after entering the park wearing gang colors according to Kenneth Green, Director of Corporate Communications. He said the company was concerned the groups might intimidate or invoke fear in the hearts of regular patrons. So, Disney can see where a dozen people wearing gang colors might be offensive to regular families but not thousands of same-sex revelers wearing shirts that flaunt and promote homosexual, lesbian and transgender behavior."

LGBT people in red shirts are the same as gang members?

Well, then all those religious wingnuts like Caton who show up in public wearing their Bible-thumping attire should be drummed out of Disney, too.

The LGBT community is not a gang. We don't intimidate or invoke fear by existing.

Unlike your ilk. Asshat.

Kelly Clarkson, on what she will not do for her career:

''I don't want to wear no stiletto. I am not a model and I am not Beyonce. It is not going to happen. This is such a funny industry. Sometimes I turn on awards shows and pop stars are wearing alien costumes. I'm like, 'That's cool for you, but ain't no way in hell someone is going to convince me to wear that on stage.''

Here's the deal: some people just sing, because they can. 

Other people need fireworks and scantily clad backup dancers and wind machines and big hair because, seriously, they cannot sing without the use of autotone or a tracking vocal.

Kelly doesn't need any of that mess.

Greg Louganis, on triumphing over his bullies:

"I almost want to thank all the bullies in my life: the ones who called me 'n*gger,' 'retard,' 'sissy boy,' and 'f*ggot'; those who threatened to throw punches at me and took my lunch money at the bus stop; those who actually threw punches at me and rubbed my face in asphalt; my dad, who whipped me with his belt until I did a dive I was too scared to do in my regular practice; the coaches who belittled me and intimidated me into pushing myself beyond what I thought I was capable of; and the man who raped me at knifepoint, whom I then stayed with for another six years."

There are all kinds of bullies and all kinds of bullying.

No matter your age, your talent, or your success in life.

It has to stop.

Queen Latifah, still ALLEGEDLY n the closet, saying she did not come out at long Beach Pride even while saying she was glad to be "among her people":

“That definitely wasn’t the case. I’ve never dealt with the question of my personal life in public. It’s just not gonna happen.....To me, doing a gay pride show is one of the most fun things. My first show that paid more than $10,000 was in a gay club on New Year’s Eve in San Francisco. Tupac happened to be in town, so he came to kick it with me. This was the early ’90s. And the boys were like, ‘Take your shirt off, Tupac!’ He wasn’t doing that. But we had a blast in there.”

It's a shame she feels that way.

Sad that she has to put that wall up when she does interviews and demand that no one ask about her personal life.

Sad that she can't, or won't, come out, because,. if she did, she'd do wonders for lots of Black LGBT youth.

But she chooses to live in fear and denial and masking it by saying she wants to keep her private life private. if that were truly the case, then why does she talk at all?

Peter Tatchell, British activist, on the Queen's alleged homophobia:

"While I doubt that Elizabeth II is a raging homophobe, she certainly doesn't appear to gay-friendly. Not once in her 60-year reign has she publicly acknowledged the existence of the LGBT community – or gay members of her own royal family. The Queen has turned her back on queens. While she has spoken approvingly of the UK's many races and faiths, for six decades she has ignored LGBT Britons. Judging from her silence, it seems that we are the unspeakable ones – the people she cannot bare to acknowledge or mention in public. Why the double standards? Regardless of whether these omissions are a reflection of the Queen's personal views or the result of advice from her courtiers, as monarch she bears ultimate responsibility. Her silence sends a signal of exclusion and disrespect." 

Wow. Sixty years and not a word about The Gays.

And we were all up in arms over Obama's evolution on marriage equality?

The Brits have felt that sting for sixty-effing-years!

David Mixner, on the evangelical call to kill gays: 

"The temptation, of course, is for thinking people to cross these preachers of hate off as right wing religious crazies. Their attempt to be the moral police of America is more like the Taliban than a thoughtful discussion taking place in a democratic setting. Not taking them seriously, however, would be a mistake."

All it takes is for the wackadoodle words of one of these "men of god" to be put into action and then we'll all feign shock at how this could happen.

Martin Short, on Mitt Romney: 

“I’m sure he’s a very nice man. I’ve never met him. I find it fascinating, though, for a party that seems to fear gays as much as they do, that now the Republicans have fallen head-over-heels for a big stiff one.”

I know Short is joking, but I'm not so sure Mittsy is a nice man. 

I think he's coldly calculating and working toward keeping the rich rich, and the poor poor.