Bobservations

This morning over breakfast Carlos and I were having a casual conversation when it hit me that I had no Tales of Carlos for today. I told him he needed to do or say something silly so I could have a post.

“Oh, so I am just a trained monkey for your amusement now?”

“Not at all, sweetie pie. You’re a trained monkey for the amusement of the people who read my blog.”

And … that’s the post.

I don’t usually horde, but when I do I horde it’s champagne for an Orange Mushroom Dick in an Orange Jumpsuit … and Ivanka doing porn from the women’s prison … and Junior and The Dumb One sharing a cell.

Rogelio Vega, a Queens, New York church deacon was arrested in an undercover sting operation and gas pleaded guilty of trying to lure three teenage boys into meeting him for sex acts.

But again, it’s the drag queens who are grooming children.

I think if Ron DeSantis wants to play Publicity Stunt by trafficking human beings from Texas to Florida and then to Martha’s Vineyard, we ought to start bussing banned books to the Sunshine State.

Marco Rubio has attacked his opponent, Val Demings, for her voting record in the House, saying she votes “100%” with Speaker Pelosi … like when she voted for the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Act, the CARES Act.

What Little Marco—not the brightest tool in the foam party—failed to mention is that he also voted to pass that legislation and was one of the six co-sponsors on the measure.

Little Marco is a Dumb Little Hypocrite.

I’ve come to realize that football is like art; I may not know much about it, but I know what I like.

Russian airlines have stopped selling tickets to Russian men aged 18 to 65 unless they can provide evidence of approval to travel from the Ministry of Defense because Putin is scrambling to rebuild his army by force.

That’s all; he’s on the way down and grasping at anything he thinks is a life preserver.

Of note, when Brett Favre, a white former football player, secured $5 million in welfare funding from the state of Mississippi, with former governor Phil Bryant’s help, to build a volleyball stadium at his daughter’s school it gets little to no coverage from the media.

But when Colin Kaepernick, a Black player ,takes a knee in the name of equality and justice and police killing of People of Color, it makes all the newspapers and he loses his job?

Sounds about white.

Consuelo Update: apparently the Little Princess had a fever of “unknown origin” and all her tests came back with good results. I think this means she had a cold and took to her bed, AKA under the guest room bed, until she was feeling better. And she is, though the downside for her is that the vet called her fat, and so now she’s on a diet and is none too happy about that.

I have often said Tuxedo is one smart cat, and he is, as well as being quite sly. He saw that Consuelo was getting special treatment, eating in the guestroom, sleeping in the guest bathroom and getting a special treat—used to give her an anti-biotic—as well as lots of Dad Love, and so one morning Tuxedo decided he would sleep under our bed, and sleep in our bathroom because clearly that gets you something  special.

And it did ... cuz he's The Great Tuxedo™.

Aldis Hodge. Yes please. I believe he’s been here before but he’s back on TV in another season of City on a Hill and as dreamy as ever. Would You Hit It?

Stories of Pride: Utah High School Won't Stand For Homophobia

A video posted to Snapchat last week shows an unidentified person setting fire to an LGBTQ Pride flag as onlookers laugh, and a voice is heard saying:

“All gays die.”

And now two football players at Kearns High School in Salt Lake City—one who posted the original video and one who reposted it—have been suspended indefinitely from the team.

Kearns High School football Coach Matt Rickards says the incident has “embarrassed and humiliated” him and his team:

“We have one rule in our program, and that is not to embarrass yourself, your family or your team. That rule was broken. There’s got to be consequences for that. Our number one goal is to build men of character, integrity, be responsible, have empathy for others and serve the community for good. That’s our number one objective.”

I will say I was stunned to hear this coming out of Utah, which isn’t the most LGBTQ-friendly place in America; and I was equally stunned that a football coach would react the way Rickards did. But if you don’t punish the hate now, it will only fester and grow, and maybe cutting these two young men from the team will send a message that homophobia is unnacceptbble.

The Granite School District is investigating the incident and says it’s possible that both the student who posted the video and the one who reposted it could face community service or suspension from the school.

Good on the school, good on the district, and especially good on Coach Rickards for trying to make decent human beings out of his players. I imagine his players, those who posted the video and those who may have watched, feel horrible that they have disappointed their coach.

Not to mention their school and their families.

LGBTQ Nation

Random Musings

I loved, well, love, cuz I still do, Joan Rivers, and Carlos and I would watch The Fashion Police just for her. After her death, when the show came back with Kathy Griffin for about a half-second, it was so not funny, so not the same, and we gave up.

Now the show is back again, and, well, because I like to give things a second, hell, a third, chance, I watched it and I’m here to say that if they continue to keep Margaret Cho on as a critic comic commentator, I’ll be watching.

A Cho-ism: “I don’t get all the gray balls on that dress. The last time I saw that many gray balls I was teabagging Ted Danson and Dick Cheney.”

Gold. Pure Gold, and Joan is probably loving it.

The Kim Davis Is Free rally last Tuesday was notable for thing and one thing only: the Huckabee camp literally blocking Ted Cruz from getting near Davis so that the only pictures released were of Certifiable Loon™ Mike Huckabee at her side.

The last time I saw such blatant shoving in an attempt to make sure you were the star of the event was back in 83, at the 25th Motown Anniversary show when, according to Mary Wilson and witnesses, Diana Ross ALLEGEDLY pushed her former singing partner onstage.

Anthony Fasano is a football player. I know, because I Googled him; and he’s kinda hot, you know, in that brutish He-Man sort of way, but what I found most compelling is the view from the rear of Fasano that I saw at BosGuy the other day.

Had I known that this was football, I might have been watching it.

Just sayin’.

[Fasano photo]

Landon Patterson is a typical high school senior in the Kansas City, Missouri area. She’s in the choir, in student government and the leadership program; she works part-time at a beauty supply store, is a volleyball player and a school cheerleader. This week she was nominated to be homecoming queen at Oak Park High School.

She is also transgender.

Fabulous! The times they are a’changing.

[Outsports]

The other night I watched Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen because the powerful Martha Stewart was a guest. Martha used to be so uptight and so full of herself and her role as lifestyle guru, but, since prison, she’s been able to laugh at herself more … like last night when she read a list of ingredients after taking several hits of helium. Funny stuff, Martha on Helium.

But this isn’t about that, it’s about the Guest bartender on the show, one DJ Ruckus.

Man Oh Man Candy. I don’t know who he is, but that man has one delicious smile.

[1.2.3]

Apple unveiled a new TV this week that you can talk to; you simply ask it to search for a program ort an actor and it will do it. I thought it was a good idea, you know, being too lazy to manually search for anything, until Carlos said:

“I’d ask it: ‘Search for Project Runway,’ and it would respond, ‘Did you say National Geographic?’”

His accent isn’t that bad, but I can foresee all kinds of problems with Carlos talking to the TV.

Now, onto [t]Rump.

This week it was revealed that in his upcoming biography — of which he had total control, of course — he actually says that being in military school was similar to serving in the military.

Yeah, like how when my Dad was sent to Vietnam back in the day is just like spoiled brat Baby Boy [t]Rump taking a math test at school.

What an ass.

Random Musings

Overheard at Work:

Me: CJ? Can you pass me that folder?

My Boss: His name is Clinton ...

Me: Funny, when he introduced himself to me he said his name was CJ so I'll call him CJ.

My Boss: Well, his name was Clinton.

Me: Well, If I were to call people by names that others suggest that I call them, you can only imagine what names I'd be hurling at you ... starts with an 'F' and ends with an 'r'.

It's a wonder I'm employed at all.

Remember when Tim Tebow would score a touchdown and drop to his knees and pray to God or thank God, or just settle for a moment, and people began selling the T-shirts.

Well, when Kansas City Chiefs safety Husain Abdullah intercepted a Tom Brady pass and returned it for a touchdown he did the same thing: he stopped and thanked his God, too.

The difference? Abdullah was penalized 15 yards for unsportsmanlike conduct.

Oh yeah, he’s Muslim, so maybe that explains why. I guess in football, you can beat your wives and girlfriends, have drug problems, anger issues, but you can’t bow down to thanks your God unless you’re a Christian.

Uh huh.

Bette’s back!

Midler, that is; she is releasing a new album entitled “It’s The Girls!” produced by Mark Shaiman. It is said to be an album of covers, but only from girl groups, from the 1930s through to today.

Think Bette does The Andrews Sisters to The Supremes to En Vogue to Destiny’s Child.

It drops — look at me with the industry-speak — November 4th and should be fa-a-a-a-bulous!

Out there to California, Governor Jerry Brown has signed into law a bill outlawing the "gay panic" defense in court.

Yup, no more The gay guy asked me to dance so I shot him fifty times defense.

It makes California the first state in the nation to enact this kind of law, and it’s about time.

On TV last week we watched the premier of How To Get Away With Murder, starring the beautiful Viola Davis — quite possibly one of the greatest actresses ever — as a law professor and defense attorney.

It’s from Shonda “Scandal” Rimes so it has that same, WTF just happened feel to it.

It also has some nice eye candy, like Alfred Enoch as the naïve, yet quite hot, law student, Billy Brown — a personal hottie favorite of mine — as Viola’s cop boyfriend, and Jack Falahee, as the Is he gay or is he just having gay sex to close the case student.

A trifecta of hot men, with Viola Davis to boot!

Paybacks are a bitch, especially when the payback is $242,000.

This week a federal court yesterday ordered former GOP Senator  Larry Craig — AKA The Airport Bathroom Toe-Tapper — to pay the government back the $242,000 in campaign funds he used to pay lawyers after being busted trying to hook-up with a dude in a Minneapolis airport restroom.

Craig, a complete and utter homophobe, bigot and all-around tool, says he was entitled to use the funds because was traveling on official Senate business.

Official Senate business is looking for a blow job in an airport john? Sorry, Larry, I ain’t buying that any more than I was buying your story about having a wide-stance.

You’re queer, dear.

After the highly successful ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, the organization Check One Two has created the Crotch Grab Challenge hoping to raise awareness about testicular cancer and encourage men to self-examine down below.

One of the first men to cop a feel, so to speak, was Hugh Jackman, who Tweeted out that photo and challenged Neil Patrick Harris, Michael Strahan and Ricky Gervais.

It sounds like a good challenge, but it annoys me because I have been begging to grab Huge Ackman’s crotch for years.

PS He's really packing!

What the hell is wrong with the Secret Service these days? An intruder hops the fence at the White House and they’re too busy placing a Starbucks order to notice? He races across the lawn and they’re taking selfies? He enters the White House — enters.the.White.House — and they’re challenging one another to the Crotch Grab?

Or, howsabout the time they let an armed man onto an elevator with the President?

It’s ridiculous, unacceptable, and all kinds of wrong, and now Julia Pierson, the boss of the Secret Service, has stepped down. Good; here’s hoping they put someone in charge who realizes that they have ONE JOB: protect the President and the First family.

If they can’t do that, get rid of ‘em.

Filed under: I Don’t Know What To Make Of This

In Ohio, a white lesbian is suing a local sperm bank, charging that they mistakenly sent her sperm from an African-American male and not from a white guy.

Now, this women and her partner adore their mixed race baby, but say they are having difficulty raising her in an all-white community. The suit further states that the plaintiff fears the child will not be accepted by her "all white and unconsciously insensitive family."

Hmmm, is it the mixed race baby, or the fact that you’re a lesbian couple that has your neighbors are twisted.

Either way, who gives a f**k?

The Funny Papers