Life's A Trip, But Not Blister Palin's New "Reality" Show

Blister strikes a Kardashian pose, 
but her junk isn't in her ass, 
it's between her ears.

So, Blister Palin’s new “reality” show—and let’s face, nothing about a Palin exists in actual reality—began airing on Lifetime this week and, well, I missed it. On purpose. 

I think Blister is a spoiled whiny self-indulgent famewhore who got knocked up by her boyfriend—and not on their "first" time—and has been riding the wave of Poor me, I’m a single mom ever since.

So, I am one of those “homosexuals” that loathe her. And I don’t watch, and won’t watch, but I do like reading about Blister’s show, and some of the scathing reviews it has gotten, so, let’s dish…….

From the Los Angeles Times, Robert Lloyd writes about Blister’s woes of being a single mom and how hard it is to find adequate care for Baby Tripp, whilst living the highlife in a Beverly Hills mansion.

Hmmm, maybe be a self-entitled famewhore has its privileges?

But I digress. Lloyd writes of Blister’s difficulty in “not wanting to hire ‘some random baby-sitter” and then he points out that we see Blister and her sister with the foul mouth, Willard shopping in Beverly Hills “without Tripp [who is] presumably looking after himself back at the mansion.”

From the Chicago Sun-Times, Lori Rackl notes that “The trio move into a Beverly Hills mansion where Bristol has to teach Tripp things like the difference between a bidet and a water fountain. No one said being a single mom was easy.”

From the New York Times, Alessandra Stanley is most unnerved about how Blister portrays baby daddy Levi Johnston on the show: “The show’s promos show Bristol putting Johnston’s memoir ‘Deer in the Headlights,’ on a range and firing at it with a rifle, saying, ‘This is for all the single moms….Much of the narrative revolves around Bristol’s attempts to shame her ex-boyfriend into seeing his son.”

And here’s more:

The New York Times: “That big sister-little sister dynamic [between Bristol and Willow] has some real-life resonance, but the “Teen Mom” poignancy is undercut by the palatial surroundings.”

The Washington Post: “Even if you have a lasting grudge against all things Palin, there’s no payoff here. It’s a new low for anyone who makes the mistake of watching.”

The Los Angeles Times: “We’re left with a show about two sisters, temporarily billeted in a Beverly Hills mansion, mostly complaining about Los Angeles, each other and their lives.”

The Chicago Sun-Times: “With the exception of the bull-ride-gone-bad scene, Bristol’s day-to-day life isn’t very interesting. Neither are the occasional shots where Sarah Palin pops up to offer homespun wisdom and maternal advice…. What we’re left with are Bristol and Willow shopping, squabbling and engaging in vapid conversations. In other words, the Alaskan Kardashians.”

Entertainment Weekly: “But whatever you were expecting from Bristol Palin’s reality show, I can’t imagine that anyone was expecting Life’s a Tripp to turn into one of the weirdest — and most uncomfortable — reality shows in recent history. Because the show is not a catchy piece of pop propaganda like Sarah Palin’s Alaska. Nor is it a “My Funny Famous Family” riff on The Osbournes. Nor is it a show about the struggles of parenting, like Teen Mom or pre-controversy Jon & Kate Plus Eight. Instead, the season premiere of Life’s a Tripp saw Bristol Palin trying to go full Kardashian, to pitch herself as a character who is simultaneously approachable and decadent. She failed, quite visibly. Besides Mother and Daughter Palin, almost no one seemed to want to be on screen.”

And that’s just in front of the cameras; behind the scenes it’s all lawsuits and shiz.

See, Blister’s “reality” show was originally going to feature the Massey brothers, including Bristol’s Dancing With The Stars castmate Kyle, living in L.A. with Blister. But, according to a new lawsuit, the entire concept of a Bristol Palin and Massey brothers reality show was conceived and pitched by the Massey family, who were then cut out of the deal without compensation.

Angela Massey issued a statement: “It is unfortunate that after months of trying to resolve this matter the professional way, we were left with no other course of action than to take legal action to protect ourselves. If you read the entire complaint, and particularly pages 8-11, you will see how we created the show, registered the show and did all the leg work to bring this idea to TV and to the defendants, who stole our concept.”

Maybe this show would have been watchable if the Massey brothers were involved because Blister alone--or with wacknutjob Willard--sounds like a whiny, pampered, self-indulgent, famewhore, AKA MGB®.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But......

Earlier this month, "actress" Jessica Alba made headlines when she said in an interview that "good actors never use [scripts]."

Now, I know what you're thinking. This means Jessica Alba uses scripts all the time. Well, she ought to, because more of the interview has been released and Alba is making no friends anywhere at all in Hollywood.

Jessica Alba admits that she contemplated quitting acting during the filming of 'Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer': "[The director told me] 'It looks too real. It looks too painful. Can you be prettier when you cry? Cry pretty, Jessica.' He was like, 'Don't do that thing with your face. Just make it flat. We can CGI the tears in.'"

See, since the director wanted to computer-generate Alba's tears, it started her thinking "Am I not good enough? Are my instincts and my emotions not good enough? Do people hate them so much that they don't want me to be a person? Am I not allowed to be a person in my work? And so I just said, 'F**k it. I don't care about this business anymore.'"

Should'a continued along that line of thought and just walked away, perhaps to a job more suited to your talents, like a cocktail waitress or pretty secretary.

But Alba doesn't take the blame for her bad acting, or her bad movies, saying the only reason her movies, um, underperform at the box office is: "First-time directors."

First writers, now directors. Good luck finding work.

Oh Courtney.

Drunk. Nekkid. Now this.

A celebrity jeweler says Courtney Love hasn't returned nearly $114,000 worth of borrowed baubles, and he is suing to get them back.

Love ALLEGEDLY borrowed two white gold and diamond chains, a white gold, floral-design mesh bracelet and a pair of white gold and diamond pave hoop earrings at the end of September. Or, so says Jacob & Co., who filed a lawsuit this week, saying she only returned the bracelet, despite demands for the other pieces.

Courtney has ALLEGEDLY indicated to the jeweler that she lost the other items, but their agreement specified that she was responsible for them "regardless of loss or damage."

Well.......yeah.

The lawsuit seeks the gems or their $113,700 value.

Poor Courtney, but I guess when you get high and take off all your clothes, the jewels come off, too.

Oh, Mama Grizzly Bore. Take a little time off from the publicity tour that is your life and try being a parent, before you become a grandma again. Or visit your daughter in prison.

It seems that Life & Style magazine has some exclusive interviews with some of homophobe Willow Palin's former friends that suggest that the The Life & Times Of Willow Palin reads almost like a page out of Lindsay Lohan's biography.

According to classmates close to her, the middle Palin child ALLEGEDLY "chugged" vodka at the tender age of 15, as well as took part in a 1 a.m. drug deal!

Last Christmas, according former friend--emphasis on former--Lance Nezaticky, Willow was spotted in the deserted parking lot of a Target store at 1AM with a man who invited the Palin teen into his car where he ALLEGEDLY sold her over $20 worth of marijuana to the teen.

Nezaticky insists the story is true, and claims that Willow bought "really great stuff."

Okay, so the word of one former friend doesn't mean much, unless.....

Another former friend, Matt Scott ALLEGES that he saw similar destructive behavior out of Willow. His story's just a little more believable, as he claims that he saw her at a house party drinking with friends--although he calls it bingeing: “I saw her drinking from a bottle of Monarch. She was chugging it pretty hard. She was like, ‘I just want to drink.’”

Well, I would say who can blame her, considering the hot mess that is her family, but.....when is the Mama Grizzly Bore gonna confront these issues....or even the issue of the online Facebook bullying?

I guess it's more important that she focus on her other daughter, the unwed single mom who dances on TV.

So, how about that Eva Longoria and Tony Parker?

Tony is a big old cheater, though he claims he's just an emotional cheat. And now his friends are coming to his side saying Eva isn't quite the good little wife she's trying to portray.

A friend--and by friend, I mean someone who sat next to them one time at a restaurant--says: "Eva has been no angel, either. When they first got married, they both agreed to spend as much time with each other as possible. They knew it would be a challenge with them working in different states, but Eva's part-time taping schedule for 'Desperate Housewives' and the resources they had meant it wouldn't be that hard."

Hmmm, she works in California and he's on the road nine months a year. Yeah, no one saw this coming. As time went by, it became obvious that the couple were spending more and more time apart, with Tony in Texas and Eva in Los Angeles.
The friend--who once parked Eva's car while she got her nails done--says: "During the first year of marriage, Eva partially lived on an plane, visiting Tony the minute the director shouted 'cut' on the set of 'Housewives'. Eva didn't care about the lavish Hollywood parties she was missing or the fantastic private events she was invited to. All Eva wanted to do was be with Tony and build a life together, but things started to change as she got more and more sucked into the glamorous Hollywood lifestyle."
Both parties have filed for divorce in their home states, Eva in California and Tony in Texas.
Even in divorce they can't seem to get together.


Adult film star Capri Anderson--don't call her a prostitute because prostitutes have sex for money and adult film stars have sex for money on film--who was with Charlie Sheen the night of his nekkid breakdown at the Plaza in New York City is telling her story.

In an interview with ABC's 'Good Morning America' and 'Nightline,' Anderson says: "He was, from the beginning of the night, very loud and he had no hesitations when it came to using derogatory language or cuss words."

And still, Not-A-Prostitute, Capri went back to his room.

She continues: "Towards the latter half of the night, it got really bad. He started yelling racial slurs. But it wasn't until he put his hands around my neck that I really thought to myself, you have gotten yourself in a bad, bad situation."

Yeah, when they are loud and obnoxious and use derogatory language and racial slurs it's all fun. But as soon as the choking starts, it's time to collect your money and hit the streets.

And yet she continues to speak: "I'm not going to stand down and be completely walked over, mistreated. My whole life has been changed. I think that this story and this treatment sends a message in itself and this is clearly something that's not right. It's not right to hurt people. It's not right to scare people. It's not right to carry on with such disregard for the people around you."

I guess she wants to be treated with dignity, like she is on a movie set when a group of strange men jerk off on her.

Capri Anderson plans to file charges against Charlie Sheen for battery, assault and false imprisonment.

But Sheen's attorney, who must be on speed dial and available 24/7, says: "Ms. Capri never made any allegation of wrongful conduct on the part of Mr. Sheen the night of the incident. She has posted on her website that she was 'fine' after the incident, but if you wanted to see more of her enter the web site for money. We will defend this lawsuit vigorously and will never pay her a dime. These allegations against Mr. Sheen are completely false, and are an blatant attempt to cash in on his celebrity."

Hmmm, the drunk drug addict and the pron star. It's so hard to pick sides in stories like these.

As If We Needed Proof....

....that the illiterate dumbass apple doesn't fall far from the illiterate dumbass apple tree, comes word of a Willow Palin homophobic rant on Facebook because someone didn't think too highly of the Mama Grizzly Bore "reality" show.

During the premiere of "Moose Mess' Alaska" a boy named Tre, who went to school with some of the Palin brood, wrote a status update that read, "Sarah Palin's Alaska, is failing so hard right now."

And little Willow Palin took umbrage. Well, not umbrage because she, like her mother, has no idea what that means, but she, um, went off. Her response?

"Haha your so gay. I have no idea who you are, But what I've seen pictures of, your disgusting ... My sister had a kid and is still hot."

Interesting. Not quite as literate as "I am rubber you are glue, everything you say, bounces on me and sticks to you" but when you take into consideration who her "Refudiatin'" Mama is, well, it seems to fit.

Then Willow followed up with, "Tre stfu. Your such a faggot."

Nice. Little illiterate homophobic bitch. One wonders where she learned that kind of language. Or learned how to spell.

Then big sister, abstinence preaching single mom, Bristol, got into the fracas, saying to Tre: "You're running your mouth just to talk shit."

Apparently this caused to war to really erupt, and others got into it, with Bristol telling someone named Jon:  "You'll be as successful as my baby daddy, And actually I do work my ass off. I've been a single mom for the last two years."

Then Willow took aim again: "Sorry that you guys are all jealous of my families success and you guys aren't goin to go anywhere with your lives." 

Now, one has to wonder where Mama Grizzly Bore was when her daughter was spouting her homophobia? And one has to wonder where little Willow, and big sister Bristol, learned such language, because, see, a source close to the Palin family says "Willow normally doesn't use this type of language, but she felt like she was being attacked along with her family."

Yes, and when attacked, call someone a faggot.
Like I said, dumbass illiterate apple doesn't fall far.

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