Bobservations

Last night I was watching the new season of Top Chef and Carlos came out and sat down so I told him about the show. I looked over and he was out. I said:

“What’cha doin’ sleepy?”

“I’m not sleepy. I was listening to you.”

“What did I say?”

“They’re cooking something …”

And this started a conversation we have quite often where Carlos falls asleep and I tell him that means he’s tired and should go to bed, and he, like a kid, says he’s not tired and wants to stay up a bit longer.

“Go to bed!”

So off he went at about 10PM and I followed about a half hour later; he was out like a light, a slight snore—either from him or Rosita—filled the room.

This morning, over breakfast, he says:

“I was tired last night. I’m glad I went to bed early.”

“You WENT to bed? I TOLD you to go to bed.”

“I don’t recall it like that.”

He’s such a child.

This Tuxedo Memory is from April 10, 2015when we had some weird wild weather here in Camden and Tuxedo was not playing:

“#TooHot4Tuxedo

We went from the cold, with the heater on last Sunday, to running the AC on Wednesday because we were nearing ninety-degrees outside.

And Tuxedo was not having it ....”

I love his ‘Woe is me’ pose!

The American Bible Society will be closing down its Faith and Liberty Discovery Center in Philadelphia, just three years after the $60 million museum opened.

The ABS announced that the center was ending operations on April 1 after struggling from the jump, receiving just $54,000 in ticket sales for the tax year of July 2021 to June 2022, while reporting total expenses of around $11 million.

I guess God saw what they were selling and even She was buying it.

I love all these moans and whines about inflation and eggs and gas and everything else, but please to explain why people are paying hundreds … hundreds … of dollars for a canvas Trader Joe’s tote that costs just $3.00 originally.

Seriously people. First it was the Stanley cups and now this.

Maybe it’s like Swifty, who rerecorded all her albums  to 'reclaim' ownership of copyright in the master recordings of her musical works, following their sale by her former management company.

But then her fans, who had already purchased her music, purchased the new rerecordings, and then they paid for her Eras tour, and then they paid to see the Eras movie and now they’re paying to see the latest version of the Eras movie.

There’s a sucker born every minute.

Republicans on the House Oversight Committee tabled a motion to subpoena Jared Kushner, the son-in-law of, and former White House adviser to Mr-Former-Fake-One-Term-Twice-Impeached-Currently-Four-Time-Criminally-Indicted-Not-My-President-Gurl.

See, the GOP doesn’t give a damn that, while, working for the US government Jared Kushner and his husband Ivanka made some $2,000,000,000 from the Saudis when they are busy trying to prove that Joe Biden made $50,000 on a Hunter Biden deal.

That sounds about right, eh?

Arizona’s House Education Committee advanced a bill to allow public school teachers and administrators to post and discuss the Ten Commandments in the classroom.

This is Christian Nationalism at work, people, and it must be stopped.

We are a nation with Freedom of, and from, Religion.

I saw this on Facebook and it fits the South to a T:

“I know Mother Nature is going to put the South in an oven this Summer, We just got seasoned with Pollen and then stuck right back in the refrigerator to marinate.”

Funny, cuz it’s true.

In high-larious news, Mr-Former-Fake-One-Term-Twice-Impeached-Currently-Four-Time-Criminally-Indicted-Not-My-President-Gurl has not been able to get a bond to secure the $464 million fraud judgment against him.

Funny, a billionaire doesn’t have the cash on hand, and funnier that no one wants to help him because they know he’ll never pay that money back.

Özkan Görmez is a model and actor, or maybe a scientist, I don't know; but this is mostly me wondering, Would You Hit It?

Get Those Mother Effin' Snakes Out The Mother Effin' Saturn

Quiet weekend in Smallville...but, hey, that's Smallville.

On Saturday, Carlos was going to take our recycling, the garbage, and lawn and garden refuse, to the recycling center. See, they don't pick up our garbage and recycling at Casa Bob y Carlos because, while we live in Smallville, we don't live in Smallville. We are outside the city limits and, well, you take care of your own trash out here.

It's really not so bad. The recycling-refuse-garbage center is a hop, skip, and sashay down the road, so it's usually done quickly. And if we lived in Smallville, the plus of having them pick up our garbage would be weighed down by the excessive taxes one pays to live in the city.

There are hotel and restaurant surtaxes; entertainment taxes; tourism taxes. You get taxed for wearing white after Labor Day, or not having enough mint in the julep. So, we take the outskirts of Smallville to save a penny or two, and to be able to slip into a pair of eggshell shorts in October if we so choose.

So, now, back to Carlos and the recycling. He uses my car, Leonora, a lovely white Saturn--hmmmm, I wonder if I'm allowed to drive her in the city after Labor Day--because his car can't handle the bins and boxes and trash cans and clippings. He loads up Leonora and off he goes; quick trip and then back home to gather up the bundles of branches and sacks of leaves and lawn debris from the last yard duty session, and off he goes again. Without a hitch.

But, back at home, it is while he is cleaning out Leonora, getting rid of stray leaves, twigs, etc. that have fallen off the bundles from the back of the car that a tiny snake crawls from the leaves and slithers across his hand.

The scream was heard all the way into Columbia. Dogs everywhere perked up their ears. people thought it was a tornado alert.

Nope. Just Carlos and some mothereffin' snakes in the mothereffin' Saturn .

Some smelling salts and a large broom later, the little snake had slithered back into the yard and Carlos seemed to be coming down. That is until Round-The-Way-Gay Neal asked about the big snake in the car, because, if there's a small one, a big one can't be too far away.

Carlos fainted.

On Sunday, Carlos and I, along with Round-The-Way-Gays, Neal and David, went up to Charlotte for a CostCo pilgrimage, with a quick stop at Trader Joe's for some delicacies. We stopped in at Senor Tequila's--and you just know that name appealed to me--for an incredible lunch, and fun stories. It's a small place, but the waiters are cute, with sexy accents, and food is amazing, so it's a win-win. A little ceviche, a little Ropa Vieja--Spanish for "old clothes" though it makes a tasty lunch--and chiles and cheeses and tortillas.

Then it was on to Joe's for some curry sauces, swordfish steaks, wine--always wine--goat cheese....you know, the everyday staples. But if you've never been to Trader Joe's, you do not know what you're missing. It's like an upscale, gourmet grocery store, with incredibly reasonable prices, and new stuff every week.

It's a gem.

After stowing away those treasures, we went off to CostCo for our more mundane groceries. Carlos and I stocked up on industrial sized containers of bleach, laundry soap, enough Kleenex to last a year, and Oatmeal for the rest of the decade, along with fish and chicken and cheese and bread and and and....

David and Neal got a small sense of Carlos and shopping carts when he whizzed by them on the back of our cart, followed quickly by me, shouting, Stop! NOW!

I'm still looking for an adult sized leash to put on him when we go out in public, or, failing that, a life sized rubber snake to keep around the house.

You know, just for kicks.