A Dip In The Shallow End

Well, the Winter Olympics are upon us and while the men wear a lot more clothing than they do at the Summer games, there is still some eye candy to be had; like ....

Pita Taufatofua, the glistening Tongan athlete from the Rio games is in PyeongChang, still glistening during the opening ceremonies and set to compete as a cross-country skier.

Alex Pietrangelo is a hockey player from Canada; he looks sweet, but I bet he's a devil ... on the ice.

Andrew Poje, also from Canada and on the ice, as an ice dancer, is just adorable. He could spin me round, right round, bay, like a record, right round.

Chas Guldemond is an American snowboarder and so hot he could melt the slopes.

Evan Weinstock is an American bobsledder... bobsledder. Somehow that peaks my interest.

Javier Fernández, a figure skater from Spain, just smolders.

Joel Fearon, another bobsledder, this time from England, and he is as cute as can be.

Lou Moreira, yes, another bobsledder from America, with pecs for days. Hold me.

Martin Fourcade is from France and competes in the Biathlon, a sport I don't get … skiing and guns? Still, he's hot ....

Stale Sandbech is a Norwegian snowboarder, and from the looks of him I'd be anything but snow bored. Sorry about that ...

Okay ... another bobsledder ... Steve Langton, on Team USA and built like a brick ... bobsledder.

Sven Kramer is a speed skater from The Netherlands and has thighs of steel. Don't ask me how I know

Sven Thorgren is a Swedish snowboarder and so sexy. Yum.

And finally, Gus Kenworthy, American Freestyle Skier, and openly gay nekkid boy.

Just sayin'.

Bobservations

Jason Katims, right, the co-creator of Rise, a new show on NBC this March, changed the sexual orientation of the main character in order to connect with the story.

Cuz, you know, connecting with gay people is so hard to do.

Katims adapted the true story of an openly gay high school drama teacher, Lou Volpe, who put on a production of Spring Awakening, but Katims decided to depict the teacher as heterosexual because, as he says, it makes it easier for him “to connect with the story.”

Oh, but never fear, there are some minor gay characters and storylines, you know, the “less than” kind, and Katims has given the no longer gay teacher a “son with a drinking problem” to better connect with audiences.

So, um, I guess having an underaged alcoholic is more acceptable than a gay lead character?

Pass.

Asshatted South Carolina Republican Congressman, Trey Gowdy, is stepping down from his role on the House Ethics Committee because of, ahem a “challenging workload.”

Gowdy faced criticism last year after it was revealed that he used $150,000 in taxpayer dollars to settle a dispute with a former aide, who had accused him of firing him after the man refused to focus his work on investigating former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

Ethics. Gowdy has none.

And while searching for a photo of him for this piece, I realized he doesn’t have a stylist because gurl really needs help with her hair.

In High-larious news, the _____ brand is getting hit hard after the Fat Bastard’s shithole comments about Africa, Haiti, and El Salvador.

_____ hotels across the country are being targeted by Yelp users leaving one–star reviews and describing the facilities as shitholes.

In fact, these new shithole reviews caused the _____ International Hotel in Washington, DC, to temporarily drop to a two–star rating, down from its average of four stars. One David K. from San Antonio said:

“A real shithole. Owned by a malignant racist. Pee on the sheets. KKK in the lobby. Russians all over the place. Sad! Steaks over cooked with ketchup. Bibles in the rooms are missing lots of commandments. Mini-bar only has diet coke and Big Macs. Fourth rate shithole.”

Like I said, high-larious … especially when you add it that artists around the world are using lights to project the word “shithole” onto facades of _____ hotels.

Loving it!

In good news … the chances of _____ facing impeachment are going up with the idea that the Democrats will take back the House this year.

A House Democratic takeover is now highly likely. It would take a flip of just 24 seats for Democrats to take over, and the average loss for the president’s party in his first midterm is about 32 seats; but rumor has it the GOP could lose upwards of 40 seats.

But, and pay attention, this won’t happen unless you register and vote, and get your friends to register and vote.

Send the Fat Bastard packing.

In Stupid News … Paul Ryan—see what I did there—stood on his tippy-toes to announce that in just 20 days, Americans have seen more than 2 million workers getting raises and bonuses.

He forgot to mention that in 20 days, many corporations announced layoffs of employees:

Carrier fired 215 workers

Walmart laid off more than 3,000 workers

Sam’s closed 63 stores, laying off 9,000 people GE laid off 12,00

AT&T 1,300 workers

Tenet Healthcare 2,000 employees laid off

Pfizer 300

Wells Fargo will close 800 branches by 2020

Lyin’ Paul Ryan forgot to mention that.

In more Stupid News … when racist white supremacists Joe Arpaio accepted a pardon from _____ after his conviction for violating a court order, he didn’t realize that by accepting the pardon meant that he admitted the wrongdoing, because, why accept a pardon over something you didn’t do?

When MSNBC’s Ari Melber broke the news to Arpaio, who recently announced his candidacy for United States Senate, Arpaio insisted he did nothing wrong, only for Melber to inform him that he’s already said otherwise.

Asshat.

Last week figure skater Adam Rippon because the first openly gay male athlete to qualify for the Winter Olympics, but now another out gay man is joining him, though he’s competing for Canada.

Eric Radford—who publicly came out in 2014—says he was teased mercilessly as a child, not only because figure skating was considered “gay” but because he had a lisp. Still, he says that being gay in figure skating pairs had its advantages:

 “A lot of pairs end up dating one another. It can become risky because your on-ice training can be affected by your off-ice relationship. If you have a fight at home, it makes that training difficult. I used to joke around that I’m the ultimate pair-boy. I never had to worry about developing an off-ice relationship.”

Radford and his boyfriend had been together four years, are raising a daughter together and now they’re engaged.

Congrats on all fronts!

More Shithole News … a Zambia tourism website appears to have been inspired by _____’s racism and has launched that ad inviting tourists to:

"Visit shithole Zambia ... Where the only stars and stripes you'll have to see are in the sky and on a zebra." 

Suh-nap!

Okay … Hot men.

We had a trifecta of them when we watched The Girl on the Train, a murder mystery that was not so mysterious as I figured out the ending about a third of the way through.

Yet that did not keep me from enjoying the sights of Luke Evans, and his beautiful rear-end—and it doesn’t hurt that Evans is openly gay—along with the always steamy Justin Theroux and new crush Edgar Ramirez. There were women in the movie, too, I mean, the girl on the train, but it was these three that captured my attention.

Just sayin’