Snarky Thoughts

The smugness and hilarity of Gwyneth Paltrow and Terry Sanderson’s 8-day ski accident trial held many of us in a tight grip a while back. It ended when the jury sided with the Oscar-winning actress … hold for laughter … and awarded her the $1 dollar in damages she’d requested; she was also asking that Sanderson pay her lawyer fees because the crash caused her to miss a half-day of skiing, but we now know that lawyers for both parties have agreed to drop that part of the suit. 

My Thought: Maybe that haughty, I’m-too-good-for-this-nonsense bitch face caused Paltrow’s attorneys to rethink their money beg.

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Halle Berry is making Madonna look absolutely parched, she’s so thirsty. Like Madge, Halle has posted a nude photo of herself sipping wine on a balcony to social media, with the caption:

“i do what i wanna do. happy Saturday.”

In the photo, Berry is covering her breasts with her arm and leaning against a railing that covers her nether regions.

My Thought: This is pure thirst because Halle had her boyfriend take the camera downstairs and outside while she perched on the balcony so he could snap the photo. I guess doing what she wants to do for Halle means sending her boyfriend to the yard to take a nudie pic.

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Who needs Adele or Elton, or even Paddington Bear when you’ve booked Katy Perry, Lionel Ritchie, Winnie the Pooh and Tom Cruise for your coronation?

My Thought: King Charles and those wacky Windsor’s are scraping the bottom of the celebrity  barrel to make this coronation a thing.

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Another Kardastrophe, well, to be fair, a Kardastrophe-adjacent, family member is pitching  a hissy over the idea that people think she's had plastic surgery. Kylie Jenner admits to having lip fillers but wants y’all to know she isn’t all that plastic:

“I think a big misconception about me is that I’ve had so much surgery on my face and that I was some insecure person, and I really wasn’t!”

But she always “wanted full lips” but claims it’s not due to insecurities saying she was “always the most confident person in the room” as a child and “the girl performing for everyone,” but because of her “one lip insecurity thing” she chose to make a change.

My Thought: That little lip thing really made her face and body and breasts totally different, and that makes it one special filler.

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Alec Baldwin is back in the news, though not for killing someone … this time. See, after the manslaughter  charges against him were dropped he posted a slideshow of his seven kids calling them “seven reasons to carry on during tough times.” Trouble is, Baldwin has eight children and appears to have forgotten his daughter Ireland, whose mother is Kim Basinger, and whom he famously called a “pig” years back in a telephone rant.

My Thought: Not exactly father of the year material, eh? I mean if you have so many children you forget the first one.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Last year, Lindsay Lohan was hyping the opening of her Lohan Beach Club in Mykonos with an MTV reality show of the same name.

The show premiered to mediocre ratings and terrible reviews … followed soon by her beach club opening to mediocre ratings and terrible reviews, and now both have been canceled after about a year.

Gird your loins, people, Lohan is out of work and on the loose …again!

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Remember last year when Cardi B ALLEGEDLY ordered a beat down on two strip club bartenders because one of them maybe had sex with Cardi’s man, Offset? Okay, I don’t really either, but the two bartenders, Jade and Baddie G claim they were injured by Cardi’s goons, and then Cardi turned herself in and was charged with two misdemeanors.

Until a Grand Jury heard the case and now Cardi B has been indicted with fourteen charges against her, including two counts of felony attempted assault with intent to cause serious physical injury, misdemeanor reckless endangerment, assault, criminal solicitation, conspiracy and harassment.

I wonder what they’ll charge her with for throwing that shoe at Nicki Minaj?

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I love history, and I love that Jennifer Lopez has been able to rewrite hers. Oh, not about her being an amazing musical talent, or an awesome actress, or the best dancer ever, cuz no one, save JLo and A-Rod, would believe that shiz.

No, JLo, on the verg of marrying ALLEGED serial philandered A-Rod in her fourth trip down the aisle, is saying it’s really only her second time as a bride because her first two marriages don’t count because, and this is full-on narcissistic, egotistical, batshit crazy JLo shiz, they didn’t happen in a church, neither one lasted more than a year, and she didn’t do it for the right reasons.

She’s practically a virgin, except for those two kids she had in her third first real marriage to Marc Anthony.

Still, it sounds like she’s sure this marriage will take, until it doesn’t and she says it’s because she’s a serial marrying dolt.

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And, taking a page from the Jennifer Lopez History Is Flexible Playbook is NBC and the Today show.

Today is celebrating its 25th anniversary of the move to their current studio—seriously, this warrants a party—and they have included every single playing on the Today show team … except for pervy Matt Lauer.

Well, it’s not like he was part of the show for 20 of the 25 years they’re celebrating … except it is.

Sheesh, I’m’a rewrite my own history … like I how I used to be JLo and was a host of the Today show with a trained chimp named Matty until I married Marc Anthony and gave birth to A-Rod.

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It seemed like only a moment ago, we talked for a brief second about that Cardi B-Nicki Minaj feud and what Nicki would do if Cardi went to jail. Well, as Nicki is apt to do, she’d start a new feud with someone, anyone, else. Like, say, oh I dunno, freakin’ Miley Cyrus?

In a song on her new EP She Is Coming (aka I’m Way Into Sex And Drugs, Y’All!), Miley, um, raps [?] about how she likes Nicki Minaj but listens to Cardi B instead. And Nicki, known for her outlandish clothes and thin skin took to  her radio show Queen Radio to call Miley out:

“You sucked all that d*ck, only to come out looking like a perdue f*cking chicken on stage, and then got mad and went back to country music. Sit yo’ stupid ass down.”

Miley has yet to comment on being called a chicken with no gag reflex, but Cardi B may have lost her shiz when she was getting her mugshot retouched.

Just sayin’.

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You hear stories about celebrities having things stolen … their jewels, their cars, their careers, their houses. Wait. What. Yup, back in March someone tried to steal Halle Berry’s house.

Apparently one Ronald Eugene Griffin showed up at Halle’s house last January and tried to mess with one of the door  locks until being chased off by a gardener. Then in March, Griffin returned with a locksmith and claimed to have the deed to the home, and while workers—does it seem like there are more workers and gardeners in Halle’s house than Halle—called the police, Griffin managed to get the locksmith to change one of the locks and then called the police to accuse the workers of trespassing on his property.

Oy, the cojones. Luckily the LAPD spoke to Halle who had no clue about her, um, ‘houseguest.’ And Griffin was kicked to the curb, er, arrested and charged with “a felony count of procuring and offering a false warranty deed and an additional count of petty theft.”

Must not be the nicest house if the charge was petty theft? Just sayin’. I’m also just sayin’, if Halle can’t even keep a house how can she ever hope to keep a man.

Ouch.

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It's Snarkurday!

Show of hands …who saw this coming?

While Khloé Kardastrophe and her philandering Baby Daddy, Tristan Thompson, were ALLEGEDLY making a go of it—for TV ratings, of course—rumor has it all is not well in the House of Fame-Whore and Serial Cheater.

A source—and you know it’s That Woman trying to rustle up some coins—says:

“Khloé and Tristan are fighting constantly. All the time. She doesn’t know how she’s going to rebuild trust in him …”

And we’ll stop; Khloe hooked up with a guy who left his pregnant girlfriend for her so why would she think he would remain faithful to her? I mean, c’mon, anyone could have seen this coming.

Jose Feliciano could have seen it.

Ray Charles could have seen it.

Stevie Wonder …I’ll stop.

Still, it’s sure to be a Very Special Episode of KUWTK when Khloe and Tristan implode, and ratings are what counts in that family.

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It seems like eons ago when Mariah Carey and her billionaire boyfriend broke up so she could date a backup dancer, but it’s only been since last year.

Certainly, it seems like Packer broke up with her because Mimi never turned down a check and a billionaire would have had tons of checks. And, to be sure, since he’d proposed to her and gave her a 35-carat diamond engagement ring—that cost some $190 million—you knew Mariah would find a way to keep it.

And she did, and she wore it all last year, even after the breakup and even after starting to date her new little man, but rumor has it she finally sold it … at a loss. And she seems to be playing off that substantial loss of coins as away of proving she’s letting go of the past because she sold a $10 million ring for a shade over 2 million.

Or, maybe she sold it because she needs the coins because, let’s face it, 2018 Mariah Carey is not nearly as popular, talented, reliable, able to perform as say, well, some earlier version of Mimi.

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I only post this story because I think Brody Jenner is hot, so here goes…

Brody Jenner is getting married; he and his fiancée Kaitlynn Carter have been together for four years and engaged for two. They haven’t announced the wedding date but ALLEGEDLY it’s very close and will take place where the couple got engaged: Nihi Sumba, Indonesia. But … Brody’s family, Caitlyn Jenner, Kylie and Kendall Jenner, who were invited, are not going.

Ouch. Caitlyn ALLEGEDLY has work commitments that have been set up for months and couldn’t be changed just for her son’s wedding, and Kylie and Kendall aren’t going because … they’re Kylie and Kendall and if That Woman couldn’t turn Brody’s wedding into a TV special so her girls could get paid, well … you know.

Still, rumor has it that Brody and Kendall-Kylie have grown estranged over the years—possibly because he doesn’t have a TV show—and there’s an ALLEGED rift between Brody and Caitlyn that goes back to when she married Kris, whom Brody blames for putting up a wall between Caitlyn and her non-Kardashian kids because, you know, again, they weren’t on television and she couldn’t make any money off them, so what use were they.

Gosh, that family, it’s an ugly gift that keeps on giving.

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Halle Berry and her third husband Olivier Martinez were married for two years. That’s long for Halle, but their divorce is taking even longer. Halle first filed for divorce back in October 2015 after months of rumors that the marriage was over.

Olivier then filed his own divorce papers, so Halle filed for divorce a second time because, well, she used fake names in her first filing and that made things messier.

In 2016, the courts sent a letter to Halle and Olivier telling them to make some moves on their divorce or it will be dismissed, and they’ll have to start over.

That was a year and a half ago, and nothing has been settled and now the unhappy couple was sent documents from the Superior Court of Los Angeles basically telling them to get this thing done.

Sheesh, even the judge wants this over, what’s taking so long?

Perhaps Halle’s holding out for the silver Anniversary of her divorce filing because it doesn’t look like she’ll ever get a Silver Wedding Anniversary.

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But …maybe Halle is ready to move on because she’s ALLEGEDLY found herself a new man … Keanu Reeves.

No. Seriously.

It ALLEGEDLY all began when Halle signed on for John Wick 3 a few months back and apparently got on really well with Keanu. And this time Halle’s picked a man who’s her age; Keanu is 53, and kinda dim-witted hot, while Halle is 51 and kinda hot, if you’re into that sort of thing, you know, women.

And now that they’re making movie magic together, or as much magic and the second sequel of a film I’ve never seen nor want to see, it’s been ALLEGED that the two are an item.

Still, as noted earlier, Halle hasn’t even divorced her third husband so the idea that she and Keanu will tie the knot is far-fetched, were it that it involved any other woman besides Halle Berry who has infamously said, at least twice, that she would never marry again.

But she’ll likely never divorce again either.

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It's Snarkurday!

Remember when songwriters Sean Hall and Nathan Butler sued Taylor Swift back in September claiming that her off-key ramblings of “players gonna play” and “haters gonna hate” on 2014s Shake It Off might have been a rip-off of their song from 2001 called Playas Gon’ Play?

They wanted 20% of Shake It Off’s profits, or roughly $30 million dollars, but the case was thrown out because, well, no one actually wrote “playas gon’ play” because people have been saying it long before anyone heard of Swifty or Hall or Butler.

So, that should have been the end of things, right? Nope, because Swifty countersued for the $75,000 she paid in legal fees to defend herself. And that’s when Judge Michael Fitzgerald gave Taytay a lesson in how the law works before kicking her case to the curb; Fitzgerald explained that although the suit may appear like a shakedown, it’s not entirely unbelievable to say that Taylor Swift stole a couple of lines from their song.

Fitzgerald dismissed Swifty’s claim and told her to go home and steal write another song about it.

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When Tristan Thompson got caught cheating on his Baby Mama Khloé Kardastrophe, the other woman was ALLEGEDLY an Instagram model … which is ALLEGEDLY where Tristan met his many, many, hookups.

At first Tristan tried to appease Khloé by claiming the women were just “stupid groupies” … cuz that somehow makes it all right, but now maybe she’s not so forgiving since it’s been revealed that he went after all these women on social media, the very bread-and-butter of a Kardastrophe’s life.

Karma, baby. Live your life on Instagram, find your life ruined on Instagram.

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In Ick news … “Smallville” actress Allison Mack, who was arrested last week for her role in a sex cult, ALLEGEDLY tried to lure Kelly Clarkson and Emma Watson into her “movement.”

Mack sent tweets to Watson about an “amazing women’s movement” she thought they might be interested in:

“I’m a fellow actress like yourself & involved in an amazing women’s movement I think you’d dig. I’d love to chat if you’re open.”

She followed that with:

“I participate in a unique human development & women’s movement I’d love to tell you about.”

Mack also sent a vague tweet to Clarkson about having a “chat.”

“I heard through the grapevine that you’re a fan of ‘Smallville.’ I’m a fan of yours as well! I’d love to chat sometime.”

Mack has pleaded not guilty to charges of sex trafficking and forced labor after she ALLEGEDLY lured female members of the self-empowerment group Nxivm into a secret society that forced women into sex slavery.

Seriously.

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In the ongoing feud between herself and Kim Cattrall, Sarah Jessica Parker—and let’s face it, SJP is the only one talking and still talking—claims she was nice to everyone on set. As for her alleged battles with Kim, she says she has never engaged in that sort of thing:

“I’d just like to remind everybody that there is no catfight. I have never uttered an unkind, unsupportive, unfriendly word, so I would love to redefine it … I’ve always held Kim’s work in high regard and always appreciative of her contributions. If she chooses not to do the third movie, there’s not a lot I can do to change her mind and we must respect it. That’s the only thing I’ve ever said about it, you know?

But, no, there is no catfight, there never has been a catfight. I’ve never fought with someone publicly in my life, nor would I. And I spent time with all of the women on the set … We are enormously proud of what we got to do and I don’t want someone sharing thoughts publicly, which is Kim’s right to do and that is what it is, but we spent 10, 12 years of our life doing something that I really loved and I feel privileged to be part of and I don’t want this to eclipse it or change its experience for that audience that was so good to us for so long.”

Gosh, she never did or said a mean word or thing to anyone anywhere ever … because she has minions like Andy Cohen do it for her. Give it another week and SJP will be back talking about the non-catfight-catfight again, while Kim Cattrall just moves on.

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God, Gwyneth Paltrow does not know when to shut her pie-hold, albeit a possibly gluten-free piehole.

After dating everyone, everyone, from Brad Pitt to Ben Affleck to Chris Martin—whom she married—Paltrow now claims that her new husband, Brad Falchuk, is her first “adult” relationship.

Gwyneth is 45 but clearly thinks she has neither dated, nor married, an adult male, ever. I don’t feel bad for Brad or ben, because they’re provably positively Glee-ful to have avoided a Paltrow marriage, but poor Chris Martin, the father of Goops children, Pear and Elijah, has now learned that he is not an adult … after learning, also, that Paltrow thinks of him as a brother.

This woman is too much, and too full of herself.

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So, a few years ago, Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert’s marriage imploded. Was it his boozing or her cheating, or maybe both? But they both moved on rather quickly, with Lambert hooking up with a backup singer and Shelton hooking up with a headline singer, Gwen Stefani.

Lambert’s post-marital relationship crashed and burned, but Blake and Gwen are ALLEGEDLY still going strong. But he clearly still holds a grudge because Miranda and her last ex-boyfriend Anderson East split a couple of months ago, but now we learned that Miranda was also sleeping with Evan Felker, the married frontman of Turnpike Troubadours at that same time.

So, maybe it was less Blake’s boozing and more Miranda’s sleeping around? At any rate, the news to Miranda’s married boyfriend did not go unnoticed by Shelton, who Tweeted:

“Been taking the high road for a long time.. I almost gave up. But I can finally see something on the horizon up there!! Wait!! Could it be?! Yep!! It’s karma!!”

But is he really taking the high road, because if he’d moved on, and clearly, they both have, would he care?

Just sayin’.

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Well, all those jobs that Lindsay Lohan never got have finally hurt the family. Lindsay mother, Dina “Can I Order Chardonnay By The Bucket” Lohan is losing her home to foreclosure because her daughter dividend paycheck daughter doesn’t really work and can’t foot the bills on Chez Lohan any more.

In 2013 it was reported that Dina was $1 million in debt and took out a $1.3 million loan on her home. But Dina has a hard time paying back loans and so the bank came a’knocking, as banks are apt to do when you don’t pay them back.

But Lindsay swooped in with 40K—she is a high-class call girl, you know—to help, but it wasn’t enough and so JP Morgan Chase filed a lawsuit to foreclose on her house and a judge has ordered the home to be sold off.

I guess Dina could always go live under the bars her daughter used to sleep under.

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Apparently, what’s been going on behind the scenes of Fox’s Lethal Weapon TV show is much better than what makes it on camera, even if what’s going on could sink the show.

Lethal Weapon is in its second season and a third season seemed to be expected but one of the show’s leads, Clayne Crawford—I have no idea who he is—has been accused of terrorizing the cast and crew on set. Sources say Crawford is emotionally abusive and created a hostile working environment and it wasn’t until the higherups had a chat with Crawford and mentioned the possibility of a third season with a different actor, that he squeezed out an apology to the crew and an unnamed actor … possibly his costar Damon Wayans.

So, there you have a show with two stars who don’t get along, and one who feels himself the budget Christian Bale.

And Fox is thinking about keeping this shiz going?

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Remember last week, at the GLAAD Awards, when Halle Berry announced this mess … “Behind every Black Panther there’s a Black Catwoman!” … and then suggested that a reboot get another chance?

Well, this past week, when she was honored at the 2018 Matrix Awards Halle talked about her career and her intuition, and as she rambled on and on and on, she realized the audience had slipped into a coma and so then she talked about … Catwoman:

“Everybody around me said, ‘Girl don’t do it, it’s gonna be the death of you, it’s gonna end your career.’ Well guess what I did? I followed my intuition and I did a movie called Catwoman…and it bombed! Miserably. But I assumed it. Because you know what? While it ‘failed’ to most people, it wasn’t a failure for me. Because guess what? I met so many interesting people that I wouldn’t have met otherwise, I got to learn two forms of martial arts and I got to learn what not to do, and learning what not to do is as important as learning what to do. And I got that gift, and I got a shitload of money that changed my life.”

And there you have it: a shitload of money. And that’s why she wants to do it again, even though she doesn’t seem to realize that since the first one tanked, epically, no one will give her even a turdload of coins.

Sit down, Halle, Catwoman is over ... for you.

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Well, looks who’s come crawling out of the Sexual Predator Slime: Matt Lauer.

He’s reared his bald head and groping hands and leering eyes to tell us all about allegations that got him canned from the Today by way of a piece by The Washington Post:

“I have made no public comments on the many false stories from anonymous or biased sources that have been reported about me over these past several months … I remained silent in an attempt to protect my family from further embarrassment and to restore a small degree of the privacy they have lost. But defending my family now requires me to speak up. I fully acknowledge that I acted inappropriately as a husband, father and principal at NBC. However I want to make it perfectly clear that any allegations or reports of coercive, aggressive or abusive actions on my part, at any time, are absolutely false.”

There you have it; he admits to being a bad boy but says he did nothing wrong and don’t believe anyone who says otherwise.

Okurrrrrrrrr.

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I’ll give it to Jennifer Lopez, she doesn’t do subtle … at this week’s Billboard Latin Music Awards, JLo performed her new song, El Anillo—which means The Ring—the third single from her new Spanish album Por la Primera Vez .

The lyrics translate to:

“I have never felt anything this grand

And your wild side drives me crazy

You’ve given me so much that I’ve been thinking

I already have it all, but

When will I get the ring?”

Wow, someone is desperate for Alex Rodriguez to become the fourth Mr. Jennifer Lopez … because you can’t get to 5, 6, 7 or 8 without getting through #4.

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It's Snarkurday!

Halle Berry was a presenter at the GLAAD Media Awards last week and thought that the best time to declare that her role as Catwoman in 2004’s Catwoman deserves another “goddamn chance.”

And she thinks it does because … Black Panther:

“Each story builds on the next. It’s like that old saying goes: behind every Black Panther is a great black Catwoman! You know, I’ve gotten a really bad rap for this role, and I think Catwoman deserves another goddamn chance, don’t you?”

To recap, Oscar-winner … Oscar winner …Halle starred in a version of Catwoman that had almost nothing to do with DC Comics character and everything to do with glamour. It was a fashion show with Halle as the hero and Sharon Stone keeping her legs closed as the villain … and it bombed.

Oscar winner Halle Berry the Razzie for her role and showed up to accept it with her Oscar. In her acceptance speech, she referred to the film as:

“A godawful piece of shit.”

And now she wants you to demand a remake. Gurl bye.

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As if anyone asked him … Karl Lagerfeld decided to flap his wrinkled puss about the #MeToo movement and proved why he is called Kunty Karl:

“I’m fed up with it. I don’t even eat pig [in France the movement is known as #BalanceTonPorc] What shocks me most in all of this are the starlets who have taken 20 years to remember what happened. Not to mention the fact there are no prosecution witnesses.”

But Kunty Karl didn’t stop there about #MeToo and said that some of the models who complained about abuse should join a nunnery. 

I think Karl should join a monastery and take a vow of silence… and a vow to never be photographed again.

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It might just be a coinky-dink, but right after marrying her boyfriend of one month, Chris Fischer, Amy Schumer fired her longtime PR rep and manager, Carrie Byalick.

Is it because Byalick pressured Amy into doing Snatched, which added another nail to the coffin of Goldie Hawn’s career...

Or is it because Byalick once dated Chris Fischer and it was just too uncomfortable?

Or is it because Carrie still had feelings for him?

Or is it because Amy was insecure or jealous?

Or is it because Carrie warned Amy about Chris and she didn’t want to hear it?

Or is it because … oh, who cares.

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Flashback … in the spring of 2005, all of the Desperate Housewives did a Vanity Fair cover shoot and it turned into the cover shoot from hell.  The story goes that there was tension between them all, starting because Teri Hatcher was pissed about not getting first pick at the outfits and not being in the middle of the picture.

Seriously. Now, in 2018, Eva Longoria appears to still have beef about the cover shoot. She was on Jimmy Kimmel to talk about her upcoming role in the Overboard reboot, her pregnancy and her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, but all Jimmy cared about was “the grudge.”

He asked if there was a chance of a Desperate Housewives reboot since every other show from the 1990s has been rebooted and Eva said that she doesn’t really want to go back to TV—her film career is booming, I guess with the reboot of a Goldie Hawn film—and maybe she doesn’t like all the girls:

Jimmy: You guys all hate each other now, right?

Eva: No! Felicity Huffman and Marcia are going to be at my star ceremony. Felicity’s giving a speech. We’re very good friends.

Jimmy: All of you?

Eva: No, but 99 percent of us are.

I guess Teri Hatcher is the One Percent.

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And it goes on ... last year, Michael Anello, one of Mariah Carey’s ex-bodyguards, threatened to sue Mimi for $750,000 for not paying invoices and sexually harassing him by bouncing around him in see-through lingerie. That lawsuit hasn’t been filed yet, but Mimi’s lawyers got a new legal threat from Stella Bulochnikov, her ex-manager.

Stella and Mimi broke up last year ALLEGEDLY because Stella she couldn’t Mimi’s special brand of crazy—possibly as a result of her bipolar disorder. But now it appears that Mimi is the one who quit Stella, and Stella is now suing for breach of contract and … wait for it … it’s totally Mimi … sexual harassment. Yup, just like Michael Anello, Stella says Mariah would often prance around her employees suggestiuvely while nearly nude.

But, to be nice, let Mimi’s lawyers know that a lawsuit is coming, giving them a chance to settle and save us all from stories of Mimi’s antics. But, not to be nice, Stella is also spilling the tea that Mimi never took her meds for her bipolar disorder and ALLEGEDLY had a substance abuse problem.

Mimi’s rep, of course, says Stella is lying:

“If this frivolous and baseless claim is filed, we will defend against it vigorously and successfully.”

Still, there are two ex-Mimi handlers who claim she’s a hooker with a multi-million-dollar record deal ... and if more, and more, and more, Mimi employees come out to sue because she showed them her ladybits, every court in the land will be tied up for decades.

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Who to believe … with her diminished role on Good Morning America, co-anchor Lara Spencer is desperate to make it appear that her absence from the show is by choice, but is it?

ABC has revamped the show, focusing on George Stephanopoulos, Michael Strahan and Robib Roberts by overhauling their other anchors’ schedules … like promoting Amy Robach to 20/20 and by cutting back Spencer’s airtime from five days a week to three.

Spencer’s team was you to believe that Spencer made the choice to “cut back” her GMA time so she could “to focus on her lifestyle brand” … buying garage sale stuff and rehabbing it. But GMA sources say Spencer is being sidelined because …

“Lara’s good at her job, but it’s not like the [ratings] are affected when she’s not on [the show].”

And rumor has it that the staff at GMA couldn’t be more pleased at Spencer’s disappearing act:

“Staff are relieved that Lara’s schedule is being cut back. She treats staff badly, she yells at people and she makes a lot of extra work for people.”

Extra work? Like helping her clean out her office?

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So, Khloe Kardastrophe gave birth to her cheating boyfriend’s baby, and ironically named the True. Seriously … as in, ...

“Yes, it’s true my boyfriend cheated on me with nearly every woman he met while I was pregnant with his baby.”

And, maybe there is something to the story that Khloe mother, That Woman, is working overtime to get Khloe away from Cheating Baby Daddy so the child can be called True Kardastrophe, and then be spun off into its own E! show and throw some more coins in the Devil’s handbag.

Just sayin’.

PS Looking at those photos of Khloe from 2007, left, and today, right, I wonder who True looks like and if we’ll ever really see a True Kardastrophe?

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Maybe there’s hope … though I am not one to feel joy at sad news, but still … John Cena and Nikki Bella have broken off their engagement, and they broke up completely.

Apparently, John felt that after his first marriage ended in divorce, he didn’t want to remarry and didn’t want children. But he and Nikki were together for almost six years and perhaps she wore him down. And he asked her, and she said, ‘Yes,’ and then he said, ‘Hold up’ just a few weeks before the wedding.

Um, John, you know, if you need someone to console, or help you get over Nikki, I am here for you. And, um, yeah, I don’t want marriage and I don’t want children, so, yeah, there’s that, too.

Just sayin’.

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