It's Snarkurday!

I love a proud mom of a gay son, who just wants her boy to be happy.

I’m looking at you, Sally Field, who is trying to hook her gay son Sam Griesman up with Olympic darling … and America’s Sweetheart … Adam Rippon.

It seems that Sam and Sally were watching the Olympics and texting about Adam and how cute he is, and like every mom who wants her son to be happy, Sally decided to hook Sam up with Adam via social media.

After Sam posted the conversation with his mother, Sally tagged Adam on it and told Sam to …

“Find a way [to meet Adam].”

And now Adam has responded:

“Sally! She bold.”

And then he posted a message for Sam:

 “Sam, your mom – I admire her. And I’m sure one day we’re going to meet! So, thanks, mom.”

And I’m sure Sally will make that meeting happen … and she will be there!

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For years Jamie Foxx and his BFF Tom Cruise’s ex, Katie Holmes, have been bumping uglies dating but they almost never talk about it and are rarely seen together. But recently the two have been spotted holding hands on long romantic beach walks, but that just may be a hallucination, because Jamie Foxx will walk out on you if you bring up her name.

Recently, Foxx played in the NBC All-Star Celebrity Game and was interviewed by ESPN beforehand. He seemed in good spirits, but then interviewer Michael Smith asked about Katie, and the photos that surfaced of Foxx and Holmes playing basketball together on Valentine’s Day:

“I know you’ve prepared and I saw pictures. Did you and Katie Holmes play basketball for Valentine’s Day? Like some real Love & Basketball?”

Foxx instantly got his panties in a snit and had his assistant remove him from the interview as he refused to answer the question.

Note to self: don’t ask Jamie about Katie. Like that would ever happen because I could care less about the two of them, handholding or not.

Still, it was fun to see Jamie Foxx get all pissy.

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Speaking of love … no matter how many of you want it to happen, I don’t think Brad and Jen are gonna get back together.

Dry your eyes. According to sources—and it’s not La Jolie—Brad has not reached out to ex-wife Jennifer Aniston since her split from “bouncy jogger” Justin Theroux. But, Brad did say he was “sad” about the split: “Brad is of course sad to hear the news about Jen’s divorce. He only wishes the best for her. However, Brad hasn’t reached out to Jen, and has no plans to do so at this point.”

Again, dry your eyes, plus, there’s this …?

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Were Jen and Justin even really married?

Aniston and Theroux had a wedding at their Bel-Air manse in 2015, but TMZ says that they checked the marriage records in L.A. County and didn’t find a marriage license for them. TMZ says they went as far back as 2010.

Was it a wedding, or just a really expensive commitment ceremony?

Now, the now-unhappy couple could have gotten a marriage license in any of the 57 other counties in California, but several people close to Aniston say there have long been rumors that there was no legal marriage.

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Tribeca residents better be nice because Taylor Swift is buying up blocks of real estate in the area and, if they’re mean, they might be the target of an entire album of stupid pop songs about mean people.

Swifty just purchased a $9.75 million apartment at 155 Franklin St. where she already owns an 8,000-square-foot penthouse duplex; last fall she bought a three-story townhouse next door, at 153 Franklin, for $18 million.

And already the neighbors are annoyed:

 “We don’t need celebrities here that will draw the focus [of] the paparazzi or extra fan attention. [There’s already a] small swarm of teenage girls lurking and swooning outside [Swift’s home regularly].”

And clearly, that neighbor isn’t the only one irked at the Swift Invasion; days after Swifty purchased the townhouse, someone posted a flier that said—“Taylor Swift Can Go F–k Herself”—to  a Tribeca lamppost.

And brokers don’t like her either, it seems, because the firm of Douglas Elliman is suing her for unpaid commissions of $1.6 million related to the townhouse sale.

Wow; if this keeps up there will be several Swift albums about mean neighbors and bad realtors.

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On the other side of the coin, the side being the one where the star can no longer avoid real state purchases, we find one Lisa Marie Presley. Despite being the sole heir to the Kingdom of The King, Lisa Marie claims to be in debt to the tune of $16 million.

In her ongoing divorce from her third, or fourth, husband, Michael Lockwood, Lisa Marie claims she owes over $16 million, with more than $10 million of that coming from unpaid taxes between 2012 and 2015. Lisa Marie is also trying to unload her home in England ever since she defaulted on that mortgage—another $6 million. The rest of her money woes are tied up in credit card debt and unpaid attorney bills.

Lisa Marie’s financial woes came to light last year when she accused her managers of decimating her $300 million fortune. Now, she is ALLEGEDLY living rent-free with her daughter, Riley Keough, while her twin daughters are staying with Grandma Priscilla.

Lisa Marie sold off 85% of Elvis Presley Enterprises in 2004 for $100 million, but the estate still brings in $20 million each year.  If she’s not careful, Lisa Marie’s next home might be In The Ghetto or Jailhouse Rock or Love Me With Legal Tender.

Just a thought … why doesn’t Lisa Marie write those nasty neighbor songs for Swifty since Swifty is loaded; the Lisa Marie can pay off her debts and Swifty might actually put out a tune that doesn’t sound like something a cat coughed up on the rug.

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Talk about your odd couplings …

Queen Elizabeth II was front row … the f**king front row … at London Fashion Week and she was seated right next to Anna “Nuclear” Wintour!

The Queen surprised many who thought she knew nothing about fashion, and many in the crowd were certain Anna would bitchslap Her Royal Highness for those hats.

But the Queen of England and the Queen of Fashion played nice, and even smiled and chatted with one another, though I assume that QEII wasn’t exactly sure who Wintour was and why she didn’t take off those damned glasses.

I mean, the Queen had plenty of room in her bag to hold them if that’s what was worrying Anna.

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It's Snarkurday!

Some celebrities tell everything about their lives, while others try to keep things secret, even when the secret is out of the bag ... Jamie Foxx. Katie Holmes.

See, rumor has it that Jamie and Katie have been a couple almost from the moment she tied Suri’s Prada diapers into a rope ladder and escaped Casa Cruise years back, but the two will never acknowledge their love.

Earlier this month, both Katie and Jamie were in Paris at the same time as Katie’s ex Tom Cruise. Thankfully they didn’t meet up, but Katie and Jamie’s ALLEGED hookup did nothing to stop the talk. And so when a photographer asked about his relationship with Katie, Jamie tried to laugh it off by saying:

“Fake news, fake news.”

But the reporter wondered if that was true, to which Jamie said:

“C’mon ...”

Jamie tried to stop the chat, but then the reporter said that Jamie and Katie “are really cute together” causing Foxx to stammer:

“I’m… Thanks for saying I’m cute.”

Then Jamie entered an elevator and made his getaway.

Look, here’s the deal, Jamie and Kate ... Jatie? Kamie? ... have been seen at various places around the world together and rumor has it they keep it on the down-low because Jamie has respect for Tom  since they starred in a move together 13 years ago and ...

Thirteen years ago? Sheesh, Jamie, get over it; you and Cruise aren’t going to be buddies off-screen or on, so come out on a real date with Katie already.

Tommy can handle it ... he’s got a whole church looking for his next wife.

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Oh Mariah, you really are The Diva of The World.

It seems that Carey was set to film a cameo in an upcoming Will Ferrell/Amy Poehler film, and she was quite the demanding little lamb on-set. Rob Huebel, who is also in the movie, said Mimi was like this:

She was four hours late for her cameo.

She demanded that her trailer be decorated with all white flowers and stuffed lambs.

She refused to sing the song she was hired to sing.

And, when told that they wanted to do a scene that involved her being shot, she refused, saying:

“I don’t think my character would get killed by bullets. What if I deflected them like Wonder Woman?”

Let that sink in ... What.if.I.deflected.them.like.Wonder.Woman?

Seriously? She’s filming a cameo—a one day ­job—and she’s making demands like she’s the star, and we all know about that Glitter bomb she made last time she starred in a  film.

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So, a woman referred to as Jane Doe is suing the production team at America’s Got Talent because, she says, her daughter was traumatized when host Tyra Banks “physically manipulated and verbally abused” the girl. What, did Tyra try to force her "smize" fiercely or something?

Well, according to the 18-page suit it seems that Jane Doe and her husband, John, I’m guessing, were “publicly humiliated” by the AGT  judges and some audience members during a March 19 performance. The duo were performing a song they wrote about motherhood that celebrated their daughter’s birth and the “bond among the members of her family.” The song is apparently a favorite of Jane and John’s daughter, “Mary Doe” but, ALLEGEDLY Banks, the judges and some in the crowd were unmoved.

The suit claims that during the performance, Banks, “an individual acting as an agent of Defendants, physically manipulated and verbally abused Mary. Banks shook Mary’s shoulder, pulled Mary’s hair back and physically manipulated Mary. … Mary did not stop Banks’ conduct because Mary was fearful. Banks also insinuated that Mary was accidentally conceived, made fun of the performance and ridiculed [the song] in front of Mary, all in front of active cameras that were filming Mary. After the performance, Banks asked Mary to describe, in front of active and filming cameras, her opinion about Jane and her husband after they were publicly ridiculed by AGT ... As a result of her negative experience from AGT and Defendants’ abusive treatment, Mary was traumatized and became deeply depressed.”

Jane, John and Mary are seeking a jury trial, claiming intentional and negligent infliction of emotional distress along with civil battery and civil assault.

Look, you wanna sue Tyra for being an obnoxious five-headed troll, then you have a case, but if you wanna sue Tyra because she tried to make your daughter look and act like she was a younger Tyra while Tyra played the part of Naomi Campbell, by making her pose and fixing her hair, you might wanna rethink.

Oh, and stay off reality TV.

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The Taylor Swift/Katy Perry Spat is back in the news because Katy has a new album and Taylor has a new boyfriend.

It all started when Taylor claimed that someone ... Katy ... was always being mean to her and that someone ... Katy ... “stole” her backup dancers and tried to ruin her tour.

As with all Swift stories and songs, she’s the victim, until she gets called out on her lies, like when those “stolen” backup dancers say they were never stolen, they just liked Katy ... and her paychecks ... more.

And so Taylor wrote “Bad Blood” about Katy because, well, petty, childish, attention-seeker.

Anyway, this is Year Three of The Feud—and please, Ryan Murphy, do not make this a show—and now that Katy has a new album to promote, she’s talking ... again ... about the beef to James Corden who asked:

“Now, I want to talk to you about some famous beef. Because there’s Taylor beef ... and when are we going to clear that beef up?”

Katy replied:

“Well, there is ... there’s a situation. Honestly, it’s like, she started it and it’s time for her to finish it. It’s about backing dancers. It’s so crazy! OK, so there are three backing dancers that went on tour with her tour, right? And they asked me before they went on tour if they could go, and I was like, ‘Yeah, of course. I’m not on a record cycle ... and she’s great and all that. But I will be on a record cycle in about a year, so be sure to put a 30-day contingency in your contract so you can get out if you want to join me when I say I’m going back on.’ So that year came up ... and I texted all of them ... and I said, ‘Look, just FYI: I’m about to start, I want to put the word out there.’ And they said, ‘All right, we’re going to talk to management about it.’ And they did. And they got fired. And I tried to talk to [Swift] about it, and she wouldn’t speak to me. It was a full shutdown and then she writes a song about me.”

Now Katy says if she were to get a text from Taylor saying “the beef is off the grill,” as Corden put it, she would take that beef off the grill.

And possibly beat Taylor senseless with it so as to start anew feud because without a feud these two would just be two mean girls having a spat.

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A Jessica Simpson interview is usually a mess because, well, she’s kind of an idiot and says really cringe-worthy things ... like on a recent interview with Ellen.

Jessica was there to promote her billion dollar fashion line—she’s the Hillbilly Ivanka where people slave to make clothes and accessories for her slap her name onto—and began by first saying that, for once, she’s not pregnant on an Ellen show because she has a IUD “up there.”

Ellen tried to shift topics to the birthday party Jessica recently threw for her 5-year-old daughter. And Jessica rambled on about renting mermaids for the party and how the mermaids needed to be carried to the bathroom by “manhandlers” since they couldn’t pee on her children in the pool.

WTF?

Ellen again tried to salvage the conversation by asking Jessica how long she’s been with her current husband. Jessica said:

“7 years. I don’t know if I’ve ever had a 7 year relationship, other than with a woman, no, not that, you know!” 

Seriously? I mean, okay, so she’s making millions on a fashion line, but why does she have to take her Paul Abdul Meets Anna Nicole Smith With a Soupçon of Mariah Carey messiness to TV?

Anyone? Anyone?

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You know, you always hear about celebrities who leave big tips for their servers at restaurants, but did you ever hear the story of the waitress who was fired for riding Orlando Bloom’s big, um, tip?

Well, 21-year-old server and aspiring actress ... because, of course ... named Viviana Ross was fired from her job at the Chiltern Firehouse in London after she hooked up with 40-year-old Orlando Bloom.

One night, after her shift, Viviana bumped into Orlando—whom she’s been serving all week—outside the bar and he ALLEGEDLY asked her to come up to his room for a drink.

She said ‘Yes,’ and then went upstairs and let him service her for a change.

The next morning, Orlando left for an interview and Viviana stayed in his room; when the hotel’s general manager entered Orlando’s room he found Viviana naked in his bed and when he asked if she worked there—which she admitted to—the manager left, and an hour later Viviana received a text informing her she had been fired after two months of employment for “fraternizing with clients.”

I think what she actually did was a different ‘f’ word.

Viviana is “hurt” especially since she fucked Orlando while she was off the clock and now has no way to tell him his big tip cost her a job.

But all is not lost, because Orlando heard via social media that his server, er, servicer, had been fired, so he called up the Chiltern Firehouse and asked for Viviana’s phone number so he could apologize.

For the f%k that cost her a job.

Still, now all those who work at the Chiltern Firehouse know the most fun way to get fired ... bang Orlando.

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Dave Annable played the dimwitted, always saying and doing the wrong thing brother on Brothers and Sisters years back and apparently that’s just Dave.

See, when Dave’s wife wouldn’t put out for him, he decided to complain about her ... on Instagram. And even odder is that Dave’s wife, actress Odette Annable, had no issue with letting the world know she wasn’t putting out that night, saying she was “too busy tonight.” 

And so, posting the video from their bed,  Dave says:

“So you can’t just say out of the blue, ‘Dave, I can’t wait to have sex with you, just not tonight.'”

Wow. I started off the snark saying that maybe Jamie and Katie should share their love with the world, but if that means they’d become the new Dave and Odette, I’m thinking the down low is a better place to stay.

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It's Snarkurday!

So, when last we heard from the Nick Cannon Mariah Carey Divorce Circus, the rumor was that Nick wasn’t gonna sign no divorce papers. And that means Mariah cannot marry her billionaire which you just know had Mimi in a snit.

Then, last week, Nick released a song called “Divorce Papers” which, you know, had absolutely nothing to do with him and Mimi ... uh huh ... and, in the song, Nick ALLEGES that the rumor he wouldn’t sign the papers was a lie and then he took some pot shots at his soon-to-be ex-wallet, er, wife:

“But f**k my health, y’all felt I kept this sh*t held up over some mother**king alimony? Now who phony”

“It’s f**ked up that the time that you spend with your own kids is called visitation.”

Now, Team Mariah is trying to shrug it all off as Nick needing to make some coins — which isn’t far off the mark — by dishing up non-existent dirt on Mimi; they say Nick is allowed to see his kids twins whenever he wants … they say, with a straight face, no less, that Nick and Mariah get along well ... they say it’s Nick’s lawyers who are holding things up.

And that might be true, because of the last line of that epic, sure-to-be-a-classic, “Divorce Papers” is:

“Man, f**k it let’s sign these papers.”

And yet there’s still no word on whether or not Nick signed those divorce papers and so Mariah must be content, fort now, with the Billionaire’s ring on her finger, and her training classes for butterflies to lift her and carry her down the aisle because Mimi don’t walk by herself.

Speaking of Mimi, howsabout a feud between Mimi and Arianna Grande used to start another feud between Mimi and JLo and all fueled by the I-have-nothing-better-to-do stylings of one Miss Demi Lovato … sh*t stirrer.

It began last week when Demi took to social media to remind us all that Mimi doesn’t like JLo … which ALLEGEDLY started by a video of Mariah being asked about Lopez and saying:

“I don’t know her.”

Well, Demi saw her chance to insert herself into Nunya Bidness by responding to a meme comparing a photo of Mariah Carey with one of Ariana Grande with the caption:

“When you order [Mariah] online vs. when it arrives it’s Ariana.”

Basically, it implies that Ariana Grande is Low Rent Mimi, which, you know, isn’t such a stretch of the imagination. But Demi, who is apparently Team Grande decided the meme was so offensive she commented on it with:

“You got it the wrong way around honey."

And so Demi added flame to the ire, er, fire between Mimi and Teeny Mimi, and then she, for no reason I’m guessing, added JLo to the mix by writing:

“Mariah is a legend and is so talented but consistently disses people… It's nasty the way she treats Jennifer.”

And then Demi, whose lips must be firmly planted on La Lopez Ass adds:

"Jen keeps it classy but I'm not afraid to say s**t. [Mariah] is mean for no reason. Extremely talented? Yes. Superhuman? Possibly. Unnecessarily rude? Absolutely."

Hillary Clinton instantly jumped into the fray, thinking Demi must be channeling Rump and Tweeted to Lovato:

“Delete your account.”

Okay, that didn’t happen, but perhaps it should because Demi has had Twitter-feuds, Instagram-feuds, and In-Her-Head-feuds, with Pink, Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift because, um, Big Stars and Demi Lovato … one of these things is not like the other.

So, it looks like the Noah Galvin Gay Rant about Colton Haynes’ coming out was just the first Gay Feud of Summer because now Billy Eichner, host of Billy on the Street, and “personality” Ross Mathews are hissing and spitting.

It all started when Billy Eichner saw a CapitalOne commercial featuring Mathews interviewing people on the street in a very similar manner to the way Billy interviews people on the street, and Billy wasn’t having it; and, as children do, he took to Twitter to start a hissy fit:

“Hey @CapitalOne & @helloross - don't steal from my fucking show. This is stolen intellectual property. FUCK YOU. #GoodbyeRoss”

Followed by:

“Yet another Billy on the Street ripoff. I usually ignore but this one is SHAMELESS and PATHETIC. (And not funny).”

Then Mathews, being the bigger man—I kid, he’s a snippy queen, too—kept this mess alive in the Twit-o-sphere with:

“@billyeichner Are you serious? I've been doing man on the street interviews since 2001. I've never even seen your stuff. Bless your heart.”

All of which lead Billy to snipe:

“@helloross Perhaps u didn't but ur new friends @CapitalOne certainly did as they reached out to my agents about this campaign. HAPPY PRIDE.”

Then, as a dig, Mathews claimed he had never even seen Billy On The Street before:

“Just googled @billyeichner to watch some of his stuff for the first time. He's funny! Wish he was nice, too.”

Well, I guess Billy decided he was done because he tried to end it:

“Life is short and I will not be getting into a Twitter feud with ROSS THE INTERN of all people.”

And Mathews, who needs the publicity, replied:

“No feud. Just responding to you. I came before you. I agree you're funnier, but you're also a dick. , Mr. Mathews”

… and …

“@billyeichner Glad your hissy fit is over. We should be building each other up, not tearing one another down. All good."

Funny, though, that Billy’s hissy fit ended a few Tweets before Ross’, who also took the story to his ‘spot’ on Hollywood Today Live explaining to his co-hosts what had happened:

“On Friday, somebody tweeted me who claims I ripped him off. [Someone called] ‘Bully Eichner’ from the ‘Bully on the Street.’”

And when Billy still refused to respond, Ross added:

“You may do it better than me, but I did it before you.”

Um, yeah, he wasn’t first but he does do it best, and while Mathews went on … and on … and on … about how he’s “all about positivity” and doesn’t want any drama, he was the one keeping this story alive about three days after Twitter held a funeral for it because it was over.

Okurrrrrrrrrrrrr, Ross?

There have been rumors for years that Katie Holmes — post Cruise Escape — and Jamie Foxx were a couple, though the two have always denied it.

They were spotted dancing together in the Hamptons in the summer of 2013 and by October word on the street was that they were dating, but keeping it on the down-low because Jamie didn’t want to anger Cruise, his Collateral co-star.

That Jamie; a job is more important than a date. But since 2013 there have been Kamie, er Hoxx, er, Folmes, sightings and ALLEGED secret hotel hook-ups and :::gasp::: possible hand-holding! Then the two were both seen wearing rings on that finger on that hand and denied it meant anything except a beg for attention.

But now, in an effort to be relevant and insert herself in a  story that isn’t about her, Real Housewives of Atlanta star Claudia Jordan, and friend of Foxx’s, announced in a podcast that Jamie and Katie were together when she said:

“He is very happy with her, so I like that he seems very happy.”

But apparently Hoxx, er, Folmes, got to Jordan and so now she’s backtracking:

“I’ve never seen Jamie Foxx and Katie Holmes together ever. I guess people are really wanting someone to confirm this and I’m sorry but it’s not coming from me. I don’t have the knowledge of this being a fact. I misspoke.”

Except you didn’t, Claudia; you said he was happy with her. That ain’t no misspeak.

I guess hell hath no fury like Jamie Foxx when someone mentions him doing, dating, Katie Holmes.

Maybe he’s afraid Tom Cruise will send him into space with Xenu?

It must hurt to be Vinyl­ — HBOs ode to the seventies music scene — because mere days after the pilot aired, HBO said they were renewing it.

Cut to the end of the season and HBO now says —

It’s not you, it’s us.

— that after careful consideration they have decided to skip it and see someone else.

Actress and Pitch Perfect 2 director Elizabeth Banks revealed that she was turned down for the role of Spider-Man’s girlfriend Mary-Jane Watson for the 2002 movie because she was deemed “too old” to be Tobey Maguire’s girlfriend.

At the time Banks was 28, and just sixteen months older than Maguire.

The role eventually went to Kirsten Dunst, who was 18 when filming began in 2001.

Only in Hollywood is twenty-eight too old.