Meme Dump

Snarky Thoughts

We learned last week that Madge broke up with her 23-year-old model boyfriend Andrew Darnel and was said to be suffering from the breakup. Luckily, Madge eased her pain by starting to date 29-year-old boxing coach Josh Popper a few days later.

My Thought: She’s resilient, that Madge.

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Rolling Stone‘s 200 Greatest Singers list was a hot mess, first because folks—not me—were horrified that the magazine snubbed Celine Dion. And now we’re learning that Chaka Khan is also annoyed at the list, not just because of her spot there—she came in at #29. During a recent stop at The Originals podcast Chaka wasted no time reading others on the list, and the idea of a list itself:

“I didn’t even know what the hell you were talking about, so obviously this don’t mean a great deal to me. These people don’t quantify or validate me in any way.”

She threw shade all over Mimi, suggesting Carey’s spot at #5 was bought and paid for … “That must be payola or some shit like that.” And when asked about Adele, who also came in ahead of Chaka at 22, Khan just threw up her hands and said: “OK, I quit.”

But she was furious about Mary J. Blige, coming in … again, ahead of Chaka … at #25, saying that when Blige “fucked up” her song Sweet Thing when Mary covered it on her debut album What’s the 411? And then she claimed the judges at Rolling Stone were:

“Blind as a motherfucking bat! They need hearing aids…These must be the children of Helen Keller!”

My Thought: I don’t quite get the idea of the judges being blind, but then I don’t get much of Chaka Khan. I know she sang about being every woman, but she certainly doesn’t care much for every woman.

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Apparently an audience member at former RHONY “star” Luann de Lesseps’ cabaret show was so overcome with emotion by the sheer talent of a reality star that she vomited all over the former Countess.

My Thought: I would think that would be  anormal thing. I mean if you’d heard Luann sing you’d probably blow chunks, too.

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Speaking of former RHONY “stars” Bethenny Frankel, who apparently has nothing going on in her life, so she’s talking, again, about the time she was a contestant on Martha Stewart’s version of The Apprentice an lost, and how, to this day Martha doesn’t like her. Bethenny was a contestant on the show and placed second and says Martha was a big old meanie to her when giving her the ax … though I might have used an actual ax:

“What she said to me when she fired me was insane. She said, “Bethenny, you’re pushy, you’re a show-off and you feel the need to make a physical impression which is not entirely necessary at Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia.” …Oh yeah, she hated me. She hated me.”

My Thought: Since I have never heard Marth mention Bethenny once since kicking her off the show, it sure looks like Bethenny’s the butt-hurt one.

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Finally, someone worth talking about … Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl spent over 24 hours volunteering at Hope the Mission’s Trebek Center in Northridge, California preparing brisket, pork butt, ribs and more for hundreds of homeless people.

Grohl and his fellow barbecuers took turns smoking the meat overnight even as a major winter storm moved through Southern California, dumping hail and rain and a little snow on the shelter that night. And when dinner was being served, Grohl stayed front and center serving the unhoused community, and posing for pictures with anyone who asked. .

My Thought: He could have sent a check, he could have catered the evening dinner, but he showed up and worked and served to make the lives of many homeless people a little smoother, a little easier, if even for one day.  We should all be like Dave.

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Snarky Thoughts

Recently Kate Hudson posted a topless photo on Instagram of herself sipping a coffee in London, with her hair carefully covering her breasts, writing:

“[Sun]’s out.”

The pic garnered lots of love from fans and people like Michelle Pfeiffer, Selma Blair and Janelle Monae but Hudson’s older brother, Oliver, wasn’t impressed, and posted:

“Nope.”

People noted that Oliver really shouldn’t talk because his Instagram avatar is his bare, very white, ass.

My thought: I’ll look at Oliver’s bare ass any day, but not his sister’s boobs. That’s just me.

Kate Oliver

Martha Stewart recently went on Chelsea Handler’s podcast, Dear Chelsea, and wished death upon her married friends. See, it seems that Martha had “two mad crushes” recently, and one of the men was married to the mother of a friend of hers. Now, Martha is no home wrecker, but she did say this:

“I always think, oh gosh, couldn’t that person just die?” 

My thought: I adore Martha, so just know that if she is hot for your man and she wants you dead before she jumps his bones, er, boner, don’t eat at her house.

Martha Vixen

Kim Kardashian told Allure Magazine that her beauty is all real and that she has only ever used “a little” Botox and never ever had any fillers.

My thought: it takes more than a little Botox to make your face utterly immovable, and Kim is all filler, yet no substance.

Kim Then and Now

Ray J is annoyed that people don’t know he and Brandy are siblings, so to make sure y’all know he got his sister’s face tattooed on his leg.

My thought: I love my sister but I would never tattoo her face on my body, and if I didn’t I wouldn’t add graffiti to it.

Ray J and Prison Brandy Tat

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Spring is about to be sprung, so what better time than this for Khloé Kardastrophe to unveil yet another new face?

This week Khloé showed off Face #3, er 5, um 8 in a series of Instagram selfies featuring her mother, That Woman—a woman also not afraid of any and every cosmetic procedure—and one Martha Stewart. Khloé  explained that her mother surprised her with lunch with “Queen Martha,” whom Khloé has always adored for her organization, her kitchen and landscaping skills, her love of animals and CBD, and the fact that she “ain’t no snitch.” 

Sounds like Khloé  threatened Martha not to look askance at the new face lest the public, well, the public with eyes, notice it, too. But then we have the group shot and while Khloé’s face has changed the most from what it was last year, and earlier, last year, and 2020, and then earlier in 2020, and in 2019, one cannot help but think of the procedures Marth and That Woman have endured.

It’s a veritable Botox-a-palooza!

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Ali Landry has been divorced from Mario Lopez since 2004, but I guess when you’ve got nothing else to talk about, you rehash a marriage that ended eighteen years ago. Oh, and the marriage that ended eighteen years ago lasted all of two weeks.

Ali claimed in a recent interview that Lopez started cheating on her just days after their wedding in a way, calling it a ‘Tiger Woods’ situation.” According to Landry’s interview on the Unfolding Leadership podcast, Lopez was a serial cheater, who was fooling around on her for the six years they dated, and then the fourteen days they were married.

Landry and Lopez met in 1998—two years after she won the 1996 Miss USA pageant—when she returned to commentate the 1998 pageant where Lopez was a presenter. The two began dating , and became engaged in 2003, and married in 2004. But a week into the marriage Landry says Mario’s Wandering Dick took over:

“Not even a week [after the wedding] I found out it was like a Tiger Woods situation. It was cheating across the board.”

Despite realizing shortly after their marriage that Lopez was cheating on her, Landry says she thanks God “every single day” for the revelation. But then why bring it up eighteen years later—which  is 468 times as long as the marriage—unless, … oh yeah, publicity.

Girl bye. Mario gets no pass for being a dog, but you gotta get over it.

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I love when Kirstie Alley Tweets because she is a hot mess. Now, I don’t get to actually see her Twitter feed because I once said something anti-Scientology to Kirstie, and she threw down her ham sandwich and blocked me.

So I need people like anti-Scientology warrior Leah Remini, whose Twitter feed I follow regularly, to keep me up on the Madness of Kirstie Alley, and with this war in Ukraine, well, Kirstie has stepped out of the shadows and into the shiz.

Last week Kirstie Tweeted, and then delete, about how she didn’t know “what’s real or what is fake in this war.” Seriously, that’s what she said, but when you consider what a ginormous MAGAt she is, it kinda makes perfect sense. But, in her Tweets, Kirstie said she would “pray” about this mess of which she knows nothing about, and Leah dragged her because Scientologists do not believe in gods and prayer and faith … unless it’s long-dead L. Ron Cult-Leader Hubbard. In a Twitter response, Remini shared a screenshot of Alley’s original Tweet and asked:

“So, [Kirstie Alley] can comment on things she knows nothing about like mental health, psychiatric drugs, and virology, but she won’t comment on Putin who is an evil tyrant? No comment about Russia invading Ukraine? The killing of innocent people? The displacement of Ukrainians? She has no comment on these crimes against humanity? But she’s going to pray. Scientologists aren’t allowed to believe in anything else other than Scientology. So who is she praying to?”

Remini then shared several screenshots that included Alley’s Tweets reacting to her former Dancing With the Stars partner Maks Chmerkovskiy, who also criticized her remarks. In the post, Remini said she doesn’t typically “like to make a habit of engaging with people like [Kirstie Alley],” she said that “Scientology banks on its horrific, criminal policies not being called out.” And that “Scientology thrives when people are silent. I won’t allow their threats to me or anyone else go un-answered.”

And then Leah, who has Less-Than-Zero Fucks to give Scientology and its cult members, Remini responded to Alley calling Chmerkovskiy a “punk ass” and then dubbed Alley and other “punk ass Scientology bitches” who play “brave on social media but can’t handle any real confrontation.” Remini noted that Chmerkovskiy was in Ukraine, “in a war zone and innocent people are dying. Pretending you pray to any God is sad. I wish you did. Stand by your own belief system which tells you there is no God.”

She ended by calling Alley “sophomoric, vitriolic, and all around hateful.”

Yeah, totally Team Ukraine and Team Leah here.

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After her comments regarding the Holocaust, Whoopi Goldberg came back to The View after her two-week suspension, and. Well, a lot of folks are wondering what Sharon Osbourne, booted from The Talk for her support of racist Piers Morgan, thinks about all this. And Sharon does not disappoint when asked if she’d ever return to The Talk: 

“I would never go back to that show because CBS sucks big time dick.”

Two things to note: The Talk will never have her back, and she’s no Whoopi Goldberg.

Take a seat, Sharon Karen.

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Kanye West Ye is continuing to do his best to make sure that divorcing Kim Kardastrophe is as brutal and unpleasant as being married to Kanye West Ye. Kim has filed twice to be declared officially single while she and Ye sort out their divorce issues, but he is continuing to deny her, tossing up roadblocks like asking for the transfer of assets to be frozen during the divorce. In one of Kim’s filings, she said that Ye’s batshit and obsessive social media posts, where he attacked her and her new boyfriend, Pete Davidson, caused her emotional pain but he wants her to prove he wrote those posts.

That might be hard because it’s not like there’s evidence of Ye rapping in his own voice about wanting to beat up Pete Davidson except, oh yeah, there is actual evidence of that! Still, Ye’s lawyer says that if Kim claims she read something online that was ALLEGEDLY written by Ye, and she calls it misinformation—AKA lies—then she needs to prove that.

Funnily enough, though, that Ye’s lawyer never says Ye didn’t write the posts, just that Kim needs to prove he did.

And if that isn’t bad enough, Ye is now coming for Kim’s Koins, because he claims their prenup may not be valid. Ye’s attorney says there’s a presumption in California that prenups signed after 2001 are invalid, and the only way they can be validated is either during a trial or if both parties agree, and Ye ain’t agreeing to anything Kim says these days.

Gosh, I hate when true love dies.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

The No Ring is a thing again. This week media whore Kim Kardastrophe went out and was photographed :::gasp::: without her wedding ring, signaling that maybe she and Krazy Kanye were finished.

Who cares, but … then Matt Damon was photographed without his wedding ring on for the second time in a week.

Matt has been married to Luciana Barroso  since 2005, but lately Matt has been hanging out in LA with BFF, and soon-to-be-divorced, Ben Affleck and photographed twice sans band. But is it a signal of divorce, or is it a signal that we’re in the middle of a pandemic and washing our hands a hundred times a day and sometimes we forget to put the band back on … ?

Here’s my take … Kim Kardastrophe is photographed without a ring so people will keep talking about her, while Matt gets photographed without his ring because he left it on the bathroom sink.

Media whore or human person.

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Khloé Kardastrophe is at it again.

After years of changing her face so she looks like Beyoncé or Mariah or, well, anyone but herself, she recently posted a new photo to Instagram where she looks almost exactly like … half-sister Kendall Jenner.

That’s Khloé-dall on the left and Kendall on the right. Now, I have no issue with anyone having a little Bo or a peel or a nip or a tuck, but when you change your face so completely that you look more like other people than yourself, maybe you need a rethink.

Of course, if you’re a Kardastrophe, it’s all about the attention, so …

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My BFF—mostly because she loathes GOOP as much as me—Martha Stewart recently got her COVID-19 vaccine, normally reserved for front line workers and essential-type people, and the internet tried to drag her saying she pushed her way to the front of the line.

It all started when Martha posted that picture to her Instagram account, saying that she was given the COVID vaccine in an inoculation pod at the Martha Stewart Center for Living at Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan. But … Martha didn’t use her wealth to skip the line, she used another number … her age.

Bitch is 79, so she got the shot and y’all can get off her jock.

Now, when Paltrow gets hers …

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Um, I may have spoken too soon before, and then had to retract, so I say this with a bit of hesitation … it appears to be over, again, for My-Husband-In-My-Head, Luke Evans and boyfriend Rafael Olarra. He told the UK Times:

“It is what it is.”

But he did not elaborate on the cause of the breakup, but again, if he needs some comfort, I’m here.

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I used to like Anne Hathaway, but somewhere about the time she campaigned and begged and pleaded for an Oscar because she say a song in Les Misérables, I kinda thought she was over,

But that was then, and this is now, and now she’s really over.

Hathaway appeared on The Tonight Show recently and told Jimmy Fallon to call her Annie, instead of Anne. But it wasn’t a ‘Hey, we’re friends, call me Annie,’ because Anne Hathaway says her name has always been Annie.

Anne, sorry gurl, said that when she first started acting at 14, she needed to confirm her name for her SAG membership, and went with “Anne Hathaway” because it’s the name listed on her birth certificate … meaning it’s her name. But she says that everyone calls her Annie and hearing folks say Anne is too formal and impersonal.

Too formal and impersonal? For the last twenty-four years? She then added that only her mother calls her Anne … um, because it’s the name she gave you … and that on film sets, people will call her anything but Anne, like Annie, Miss H, or Hath.

Oh Anne, you’re just so precious to have, at age 38, decided you want to be known as Annie. And that little orphan, and the one that got her gun, were here first.

Okurrrrrrr, Anne?

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Don’t mess with Lucy.

But Aaron Sorkin is apparently making a film about Lucy and Desi called Being the Ricardo’s. And in the running for Desi is Javier Bardem, and intalks to play Lucy is Nicole Kidman.

Nicole what? Social media went nuts because no one, and I mean no one,  should be playing Lucille Ball except that powerhouse actress, that multi-award-winning actress of stage and screen … and TV … Debra Messing.

Yes, from Will & Grace.

The film is set during one production week of I Love Lucy—Monday table read through Friday audience filming—when Lucy and Desi face a crisis that could end their careers and another that could end their marriage. Originally, Sorkin was simply going to write the script, but then Cate Blanchett thought she should be Lucy and he decided he wanted to direct. But then Cate was out, and Javier and Nicki K said they were interested.

I love me some Kidman, and Javier is kinda delicious, but as Lucy and Ricky?

Cue Debra Messing and the internet, where people wondered TVs second favorite redhead shouldn’t be playing TVs first famous redhead. Rumors swirled that Messing, whose career is en feugo … I kid … was not available, and Messing, who does love to Tweet, instantly replied:

“Oh no, I’m available.”

Except … again … Variety reported that Messing had stated she would not do it:

“Like 15 years ago people would say, ‘Hey, do you want to do like a made for TV movie or something?’ And I always felt like, ‘Oh, I would not even touch that. Like she is untouchable.’"

And now Messing says:

“Ummmmmm, I changed my mind.”

Sorry, Deb, no change-sies, and, um, yeah, Nicole? One other actress, Frances Fisher, joined the fray and Tweeted out this photo of herself:

Sorry other ladies whose names I have now forgotten. Looks like we’ve found our Lucy … though as I said at the top … Don’t mess with Lucy!

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I loathe Taylor Swift, but then I read this, and while I still loathe her, I found it funny, narcissistic, and just plain ridiculous.

I also loathe Justin Bieber, but then I read this, and while I still loathe himr, I found it funny, narcissistic, and just plain ridiculous

Rumor has it that Swifty tried to have Justin Bieber and his entourage kicked out of the Dogpound Gym in West Hollywood so she could work out in private. Her request was denied.

Anyway, Justin was “working out” when Swifty showed up for her work-out with a trainer—which was mostly just posing while people tried to make her look interesting—and she wanted the gym shut down for her personal private use only. And everyone—including the Biebs—was told to vamoose because Taylor had an appointment.

Well, Justin pipsqueaked up and said he was going to finish his “work out” and then and only then would he leave. And Justin, who did not have an appointment, finished and left and Taylor got in her “work out.”

Wow, who to pick in this scuffle … which side to take … Oh yeah, I’m #TeamNoOne.

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While the old adage that there’s a sucker born every minute was proven true once more now that GOOP’s coochie candles sold out, we know that one Martha Stewart never bought one and never will.

On a recent Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen, Martha opened up an enormous can of shade about Gwyneth Paltrow’s latest attention beg:

“I’m sure it’s sold out. She does that kind of irritating … she’s trying to zhush up the public to listen to her. And that’s great, I mean, let her do her thing. I wouldn’t buy that candle.”

And when Andy Cohen asked Martha what it said about America that people were buying a candle that smelled of GOOP cooch, Martha said:

“I think it’s just a lot of guys who are horny.”

Buy a GOOP Cooch Candle™, grab some lube and tissues and have a tug, eh Martha?

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While we’re all waiting for that new Adele album to drop, there’s some other new music you might wanna get your paws on. After months of teasing the public, Lindsay Lohan has let fans … Fans? Plural? … know that her newest album will be out at the end of next month.

Get in line now, it’s sure to sell out faster than Lindsey’s Vagina Candle which smelled of weed and Stoli and bar mats.

While we know that Lohan signed with a record label last June … ALLEGEDLY …  and she did release a new single, the “wildly” popular …at least with Lohans … Xanax, last September, here we are, a month into the New Year and where’s the album, LiLo?

Lindsay let the 700 people who follow her on WorldofLindsayLohan know that her newest album is dropping in February. 

She didn’t say what year, however, so maybe don’t get in line just yet.

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What? She fooled us? She wasn’t a spoiled drunken stupid party girl, but rather a simple girl with simple needs all this time?

Apparently so, because … wait for it, it’s rich or at least it pretends to be … Paris Hilton now claims her whole life up until right this minute was an act! At least that’s what she’s claiming in the upcoming documentary This Is Paris, and she is out pushing this thing with all kinds of revelations:

“I’ve never done anything like this in my life. In this film, I discuss things I’ve never discussed before. I hope that people are going to see who I truly am.”

A shallow vapid useless splotch of DNA? Honey, we already knew that.

But Paris swears the documentary follows her in “real life,” and that, well, let’s have her say because every time I try I start laughing so hard I can’t type:

“It follows me in my real life, everything I’ve done before was me playing a character. I was talking about things that are very hard to talk about. It was an amazing experience but it was very scary. I was freaking out.”

Paris also swears she was in on the “joke” that she was some dimwitted blond dye job with no discernible intellect or talent or use.

This Is Paris will debut on YouTube in May—so you know it’s the truth—and afterwards Paris will begin working in soup kitchen in South Central while getting a Masters in Social Work, opening up her Beverly Hills manse to immigrant refugees, and donating a lung to a needy child.

Seriously. ALLEGEDLY.

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Hockey player, Brooks Laich and his wife, actress[?], Julianne Hough, have been having marital problems or something because she’s doing that Oops, I forgot my wedding ring thing celebrities do; oh, and sources, I believe them to be Julianne Hough, say there have been marital issues for months.

Brooks has a podcast, upon which he often has Julianne and they discuss everything, but this marital strife is on the down low? Or, is it Brooks? While Julianne has said before that she’s not completely straight, Brooks is now suggesting that he’s like to explore his sexuality.

Brooks recently spoke with Gavin DeGraw on his How Men Think podcast and talked about how he isn’t “100 percent fully expressed” in terms of his true sexuality and that now he will do a “pleasure first” route in his choices. What does that mean? Well, Brook said it like this:

“One of my goals this year is to really explore like, learning about sexuality … People think that sexuality is just the act of sex, of just having sex and there’s so much more to it. Here’s a question … Are you fully 100% fully expressed in your true sexuality? With your partner? With everything? You could not imagine having a better sex life? Are you truly there? … I’m not either. So that’s what one of my goals this year is to really dive into.”

Does he want kink or does he want dick?

I’d offer to lend a hand …or whatever …either way.

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I Ain'tOne To Gossip But ....

Remember that cringeworthy moment at the Oscars a few years ago when totally-not-gay John Travolta introduced Idina Menzel as “Adele Dazeem”? Yeah, well, he’s at it again.

At this year’s MTV VMAs Travolta, along with totally-not-closeted Queen Latifah—do I sense a theme?—presented the Video Of The Year award to Taylor Swifty for You Need To Calm Down. And Travolta handed the statuette to a drag queen he thought was Swifty.

Perhaps he didn’t know who Swifty was, even though she opened the show … and when she won for her video, she gave Classic Swifty-Who-Me-Realness, and still Travolta picked a drag queen—Jade Jolie, from RuPaul’s Drag Race—as the real Taylor Swift.

But at least he got her name right.

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Methinks he doth protest too much.

Prince Andrew recently claimed in a second official statement that he knew Jeffrey Epstein and saw him once or twice a year, but that he never saw Epstein do anything inappropriate with underage girls.

Back in 2009, Paul Page, a former police officer who served in the Royal Protection Command [RPC] talked about Andy’s ALLEGED visitors at Buckingham Palace, and now, thanks to The Mirror,  his words are out there for everyone’s enjoyment … well except for Andy and his mum, The Queen.

Page made the ALLEGATIONS against Prince Andrew while on trial in ’09 for investment fraud; he was found guilty and given six years in jail. Page’s testimony about Andrew was locked up, but now it’s out there:

“It was not just the royalty protection officers who abused their position, members of the Royal Household also frequently did. The biggest culprit was Prince Andrew … [who] … would often have lady friends come to visit, including frequent visits by Ghislaine Maxwell, daughter of the disgraced late Robert Maxwell.”

Ghislaine Maxwell is the woman who ALLEGEDLY recruited women for Epstein’s sex trafficking ring, and Page says Maxwell made frequent palace calls and always brought young women with her. Page claims Ghislaine and the female guests never signed the Buckingham Palace gate book, and that members of the RPC would drive the secret female guests home.

Page’s  former RPC boss Dai Davies confirmed that members of the Royal family can bring in guests without checking them in, because it’s “their home.” Davies also confirmed that Prince was known to have many “glamorous good-looking young ladies,” but that he wasn’t aware any of them were underage.

To be fair, having random women show up at the palace probably isn’t anything new, but if they were brought to Andy by Ghislaine Maxwell, it doesn’t look good, eh?

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Lori Loughlin, the star of College Admissions Scam, went back to court this week with her College Admissions Scam designer husband, Mossimo Giannulli and if you saw her enter the courthouse, you’d know she thinks her goose is cooked.

The first time she appeared in court Loughlin was smiling and waving to “fans,” and may have even signed an autograph or bribery check, but this week, she was head down, eye contact avoiding and rushing into court.

Why? Well, Lori has ALLEGEDLY been Googling herself—and not in the fun way—and is a’scurred this won’t turn out well. But that’s what happens when you pay some hustler half-a-million dollars to make up fake credits, fake resumes, fake accomplishments, to get your two less-than-intelligent daughters into USC.

And even worse than waiting for a Google alert about yourself is the fact that Lori and Mossimo have seen their neighbors become just so busy they can’t come to the pool party, or return that cup of sugar, or be a character witness for them.

Prison might be a nice change.

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Well, Billy Bush … yes, that Billy Bush, the one who laughed as _____ talked about grabbing women “by the pussy” … has got a new gig.

Bush is set to host a revamped edition of Extra, now called ExtraExtra—who thinks of these names, they’re a genius?—and swears he will be better at this job than he was the last one.

Meaning that if a racist blob of orange goo jokes about grabbing women’s pussies, he won’t laugh.

Bitch, please, you will always be known as the man, the husband and father of daughters, who laughed about sexual assault. But, hey, at least you’re making coins again, right?

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Nothing funnier than a TV judge getting busted. Amirite, Judge Mathis?

It appears that a valet in Detroit has accused Mathis of being a cranky diva by shrieking at him and spitting at him because Mathis had to wait for his car like regular folk.

I hope the valet sues and Mathis goes before Judge Judy because she will hand him his ass in a hot minute!

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Oh, the Stewart-Goop Feud is heating up again, and I am living for it!

It seems that the Bloods and Crips of the lifestyle brand market—Martha Stewart and Gwyneth Paltrow—are at it again, and Martha has backup.

While on the season premiere of Barstool Sport’s The Corp podcast, Martha was asked by host Alex Rodriguez about her long-standing spat with Poop, er, Goop, and we learned that the beef is real, and still on-going. A-Rod asked Stewart about her businesses in the lifestyle, cooking and publishing markets, and then asked about Goop—because he’s banging JLo and he loves some tea—like this:

“How would you describe what Gwyneth Paltrow is doing today versus what Martha Stewart created years ago.”

And Martha, who has politely asked that Paltrow stick to acting … hehe “acting” … pulled an ‘I don’t know her’ moment about Gwynnie, saying:

“I don’t follow goop. Sometimes I look at products that she’s selling … I wish every young entrepreneur well and I hope that there are many, many, many different kinds of entrepreneurs … if they’re movie stars or hardworking women like I am, who are not movie stars… If they have a good idea, I want them to be able to succeed. So good luck, Gwyneth.”

If they are movie stars or hardworking women like I am.

Damn, Martha, you still got. Whoever said prison would soften you didn’t know what they were talking about.

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In the wake of the Is-Taylor-Swift-A-Drag-Queen  moment at the VMAs John Travolta is back on damage control for being a bona fide asshat.

Travolta was on Dallas-Fort Worth’s Hot 93.3, and when asked about the mess-up, he shrugged and made it sound like he didn’t mistake Jade for Taylor … except he did … and also said that no matter what he does … like totally f**king up Idina Menzel’s name, it makes headlines:

“There’s so many people that bombarded the stage, that I was looking for [Swift]. So, the video has me trying to find her, and you know, I thought it was so funny the way it was interpreted. And it’s cool, I didn’t care.”

But the point, ma’am, is that Swifty cared. You practically Kanye’d her again!

But the real gem of the interview is when he talked about other things he’s done that make news … and, no, he’s not talking about that lip-lock with his private pilot a few years ago; it’s this:

“If I shave my head, it’s headlines.”

Shave your head? Bitch, please, you took your rug off.

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