A Kiss Is Just A Kiss ... Or Is It?

I am not a fan of PDAs, Public Displays of Affection. I don’t mind a peck on the cheek or lips as you say goodbye to a loved one, or holding the hand of your husband as you walk down the street; those things seem sweet to me. But when it goes beyond sweet and enters into something more? Well … let me tell you a story.

While living in California, BC — Before Carlos — I’d met this guy, whose name now escapes me because since our date I have always, and only, called him Harvard. He asked me out and we decided to spend the day in San Francisco; he wanted to visit the Museum of Modern Art, so you know, art, museum, art. But while there, and while gazing at a painting, he walks up behind me, wraps his arms around my waist and tries to stick his hands down the front of my pants.

I calmly ask, ‘What are you trying to do?’

‘I’m trying to get into your pants,’ he replied.

‘Well, you’d have better luck getting into Harvard.’

Hence the name.

Now, I was attracted to him, but I really kinda felt that maybe the art museum wasn’t the place to grab my junk; call me crazy. And sure, the hands fondling my package is not the same as a kiss, but there are times when a kiss — especially between two men — makes people uncomfortable, and there are times when it doesn’t …

As happens at sporting events from time to time, when, up on the Jumbotron appears the words ‘Kiss Cam,’ and then a camera operator zooms in on a couple, usually heterosexual, and the couple kisses on camera. For several years the camera operators at these events might focus on two men attending the game, and the men might grimace and pretend to kiss and the crowd would boo and moan because, you know, two men kissing is icky.

But just last week, at an LA Dodgers baseball, the ‘Kiss Cam’ moment came up and after spotting several opposite sex couples in the crowd, all of who gladly kissed for the camera, suddenly two men — Steven and Rick Simone-Friedland — appeared onscreen and, with a slight hesitation, they kissed.

And.The.Crowd.Roared.

Steven says:

"I turned to my husband … and I said 'You know, this could go badly. This could not go well,' but then we did it, because we thought it would be just so fun to do, and then we heard the crowd — and that was really unexpected, and beautiful, and affirming. All we did was kiss. What made everyone's day was the crowd reaction … I don't think anybody was expecting that reaction … I kiss my husband every single day. That's not the big deal. The big deal is what happened immediately after. That's just the most amazing thing."

It’s just a kiss right? And a kiss is just a kiss, even between two men, but apparently it’s so much more in Huntington, West Virginia,  where Zackary Johnson and Casey Williams paused on the street for a quick kiss and ended up being attacked by Marshall University football running back Steward Butler.

The couple was visiting friends and , after a night of dinner and barhopping, had started walking back to their hotel when Casey pulled Zackary in for a kiss. Steward Butler, riding by in a car with friends, leapt from the automobile and being shouting anti-gay slurs at the couple before punching both men in the head.

"I thought it was going to be the normal case of someone rolling their windows down, yelling some words, and just keep on going, I mean that happens a lot." — Zackary Johnson

Butler is claiming the confrontation was in self-defense, though it’s unclear how he was defending himself against two men kissing … unless he wanted to kiss one of them? I mean, maybe he’s a self-loathing closeted homosexual who spotted two men, in love, walking down the street and stopping for a kiss and then decided he couldn’t stand to see them doing that when he couldn’t and so he had to jump out of a moving car to tell them how much he hated them for kissing … with his fists.

Whatever his reasons, and there really aren’t any, Steward Butler is charged with two counts of misdemeanor battery, and was dismissed from the Marshall University football team.

All because he didn’t like the idea of two men kissing, so I’d like to offer him, and others like him who might decide to stop man-on-man kissing with their fists, a little lesson:

If you’re on the street and you come across two men, or two women, kissing, and you find it repugnant … ignore it and just keep moving.

Gay Couple Asked to Leave Mall for Holding Hands, Kissing

Carlos and I aren’t much for the PDA—Public Displays of Affection. I mean, while we lived in Miami, we would often hold hands while walking down Lincoln Road Mall or on the beach, but we weren’t big on kissing in public. I don’t like seeing anyone—straight or gay—doing it, unless it’s a quick peck as maybe a good bye smooch. Save the tongues for when you get home.

So, I was kinda of annoyed to learn about two gay men—Daniel Chesmore and Jose Guzman—who were asked to leave the Westfield Galleria in Roseville, California for doing just that. Not the tongues, but the pecking kind of kisses.

“I kissed him on the cheek. That’s how my boyfriend and I show affection,” said Daniel Chesmore.

And as they kissed—and, well, they say it was just a simple kiss—a security guard confronted them about kissing in public and they started recording the confrontation.

 “If you continue to kiss, you will be asked to leave the mall. Period,” the voice on the recording said. “I counted you guys kissing 25 times. I told you before, we contact any couple [...] about this.”

Chesmore and Guzman’s story caught the attention of Fox40, the local Fox affiliate, who sent their own cameras to the galleria. They filmed dozens of straight couples holding hands and kissing, yet not one was asked to leave. When they tried to speak to mall management, Galleria General Manager Eddie Ollmann would not comment in person, but released this written statement, “Persons that violate the Code of Conduct are asked to leave the property.”

Unfortunately, as FOX40 found, there is nothing in the mall’s code of conduct about public displays of affection.

“It makes me feel like no matter what I do in society, I will always be different.” Chesmore says.

 “I feel like we’re always treated differently because we’re gay. It makes me sad.” Guzman said.

Like I said, I am not big on kissing in public, other than the quick peck, but if you say you have rules against it, then shouldn’t the rules apply to everyone? I do have questions, though, like when the security guard said he counted them kissing twenty-five times; was that an exaggeration or were the two men sitting there kissing and kissing and kissing?

If that even makes a difference.

But then I also wonder how and why, as soon as the guard came over, the men were suddenly audio recording the confrontation. That seemed kind of planned to me, and if so, then the two men weren't just kissing, they were trying to provoke some confrontation.

That said, however, if the mall's Code of conduct says nothing about PDA then these men did nothing wrong. And, as you see on the videotape, the mall manager didn't even want to answer the questions, so, whether or not this was some planned two man kiss-in or not, the mall has some explaining to do.

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