I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I’ve always liked actor Liam Neeson after seeing him as the deaf, mute war veteran in Suspect. But who knew that it might have been best for Neeson to be, well, mute in real life?

Neeson is promoting Cold Pursuit in which he plays a man who goes on a killing spree after someone close to him is killed or hurt or kidnapped; in other words, it’s like another Taken movie. But while talking with The Independent about the film Neeson shared a terrible story about how, when he was much younger, he spent days hunting for any black man to hurt or maim or kill … seriously. It began when a close friend told him that she’d been raped by a black man and that sent Neeson off:

“I asked, did she know who it was? No. What color were they? She said it was a black person. I went up and down areas with a cosh [a heavy metal bar], hoping I’d be approached by somebody – I’m ashamed to say that – and I did it for maybe a week, hoping some  ‘black bastard’ would come out of a pub and have a go at me about something, you know? So that I could kill him.”

Yes. He did say that because a friend of his was raped by a black man that he wanted to kill any black man that crossed his path. Seriously … mute would have been better than admitting you were on same racist hunt for any black man to kill.

Someone should tell Neeson when it’s best to stop talking because his promotional tour has become less about the film and more about his admission of racism.

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I’m’a just say it … Mo’Nique is a hot mess. She’s raised the roof over the way she thinks she was badly treated by everyone from Oprah to Tyler Perry to Lee Daniels; she thinks Netflix should be boycotted because they didn’t pay her as much as they paid Amy Schumer for a comedy special; while on The View she tussled with Whoopi Goldberg and then began calling Goldberg “the help” in a subsequent interviews; and now even Steve Harvey isn’t safe.

While appearing on Harvey’s chat show, Mo’Nique ALLEGEDLY got so irritated by Harvey that she threatened to hit him when he told her that she needed to publicly apologize to Whoopi and that’s when she threatened to hit him, and Steve said if she did that, her husband better come out onstage so they could square off.

Mo’Nique? You’re funny and talented, but you’re really angry. Switch to decaf, girl, because one day the punches will be coming at you.

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NeNe Leakes of Real Housewives of Atlanta has an ego as big as her veneers because she’s now saying that Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Vanderpump stole PUMP restaurant from her.

Seriously. NeNe went on Jenny McCarthy’s SiriusXM show to accuse Vanderpump of theft though she couldn’t remember her name and started off calling her Lisa Rinna:

“You know I actually said the wrong name. … I meant Lisa Vanderpump. I did not mean to say Lisa Rinna. She knows that we have a little something, something she did to me. I’ve never really addressed it. … She did some real foul shit to me.”

NeNe says she was debating buying the space in West Hollywood that is now PUMP and opening a bar and even consulted restauranteur Vanderpump about it:

“At the time, Greg [Leakes] and I were living in [LA] and I was working on Glee and New Normal. We ride down that West Hollywood area where all the gay bars are—and I have a large gay fanbase—and I kept thinking, ‘It would be so cool if I had a bar right in here somewhere.’ And that space was empty and kind of raggedy-looking and torn down.”

Nene then spoke to Vanderpump about the idea of a bar and says Lisa convinced her not to do it, and then swooped in and bought the place herself.

Right, NeNe, I believe you …especially since PUMP opened almost five years ago and you’re only yapping now. And what might you have called it?  Because I’d rather hang at a gay bar called PUMP than one called LEAKES.

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In what I first thought was an epic joke, I’ve now learned that Tyra “Fivehead” Banks wants to open a theme park called … wait for it … Modelland in the Santa Monica Place shopping mall. Opening this year, the 21,000-square-foot space will be a “fantasy version of the modelling world” and will let visitors “be the dream version of themselves.”

For the love of Balenciaga, it isn’t a joke. And it will crash and burn faster than a Kanye West fashion show.

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Cindy McCain, the widow John McCain, has been a wealthy entitled heiress all her life. The bulk of the McCains’ wealth was always from Cindy’s family. Cindy has a daughter, Bridget, whom she adopted from Bangladesh.

Keep that in mind … in a radio interview on KTAR Cindy claimed she singlehandedly stopped a human trafficking incident at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport:

“I came in from a trip I’d been on and I spotted—it looked odd—it was a woman of a different ethnicity than the child, this little toddler she had, and something didn’t click with me. I went over to the police and told them what I saw, and they went over and questioned her, and, by God, she was trafficking that kid.”

McCain also said the woman was waiting for the man who bought the child to arrive from his flight, but Phoenix police say that, while officers did respond to Cindy’s call, there was no evidence of criminal conduct or child endangerment.

So, Cindy McCain sees a … and I’m guessing here … a brown woman with a white child … or even vice versa … and instantly calls the police? Cindy McCain, a white woman with a Bangladeshi daughter, called the police on a mother and child for merely existing.

Perhaps she and Liam Neeson should hook up and make the world safe from brown people.

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I thought NeNe’s story was the height of incredulity and then Tyra swooped in with Modelland. But neither one compares to this story …at the Grammys this Sunday Jennifer Lopez will be performing a tribute to … wait for it … it’s epic … Motown, the legendary record label celebrating its 60th anniversary this year.

I guess all those artists who were, or are, part of the Motown family, were unable to attend? Or maybe JLo wriggled her fat ass in the front of the line. More ironic is that Diana Ross will be performing at the Grammys as well, but not as part of the Motown tribute.

Seriously.

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Last week Michael Bolton was doing a live TV interview with Australia’s The Morning Show to talk about the release of a new album of hits which have been rearranged with an orchestra and it appeared to the viewers and to hosts Kylie Gillies and Larry Emdur that he had fallen asleep.

No surprise there, his music has also made me slip into a coma.

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It's Snarkurday!

Boy, I guess Britney Spears really loves sloppy Seconds … Thirds … and Fourths.

It’s been just a couple of months since Britney ended things with Charlie Ebersol and it appears that now her handlers and hangers-on are ready to let her date again, and so they have chosen for her one Harry Morton.

The same Harry Morton that dipped his wick into the Lady Ponds of, ahem, get your tetanus shots ready, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Demi Moore.

Seriously, I need a Silkwood Scrubdown after that. Oh, but don’t feel sorry for Charlie Ebersol; he’s apparently nabbed himself Tiger Woods’ ex, Lindsey Vonn.

In.Cestuous.

And since we mentioned Lohan, let’s talk Lindsay …

She was all set to attend the Toronto International Film Festival [TIFF] last week … oh not because she has a film up for consideration but because, well, parties and high rollers who love a Red Headed Call Girl Who Works For Cheap.

Anyway, according to a TIFF organizer, Lindsay couldn’t make it because “the timing did not work out for everyone to get to Toronto” which is basically saying Lindsay was too drunk or high … ALLEGEDLY … to get her ass on the plane, but perhaps the real reason LiLo isn’t in Canada is because Canada doesn’t really care for folks with criminal records waltzing into their country.

Good on Canada, but, well, maybe it wasn’t that she missed the flight, or that Canada doesn’t want her skank ass in their country or, maybe, it’s because Lohan had several; diva requests before she’d deign to touch down up north.

Rumor has it Lohan refused to fly to Toronto unless it was in first class, and her johns weren’t gonna cover that expense, so Lindsay stayed put at the brothel. I kid, she works the corner.

Anyway, Canada wins and wherever Lohan is now squatting loses.

Johnny Depp — who’s been dressing like a used car salesman from the 50s of late—is just so pissed off that Australia charged wife, Missus Amber Heard Depp, with dog smuggling and has threatened to beat up whatever authorities dared to treat his wife like a normal person.

I mean, it’s Amber Heard Depp; how normal can she be?

Nene Leakes quit the The Real Housewives of Atlanta saying she needed less drama, but apparently she just meant East Coats drama  because now she’s angling to get her ass on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

“I’d love to fight those girls a little bit. They need a brown girl, I promise. I’d love to do it.”

Oh honey, Lisa Vanderpump could take you down in one fell swoop, and do it while dressed head-to-toe in pink and carrying her dog Jiggy in one hand.

Sit down, Nene, your time on TV is nearing the end.

There have been lots of rumors that Tom Cruise’s ex-beard, er, wife, Katie Holmes has been dating Jamie Foxx, but that they keep it on the down low because Jamie doesn’t want to offend Tommy since they once did a movie together.

But this is ridiculous. Katie is ALLEGEDLY so in love with Jamie and will do anything to be near him, including putting on a wig and sunglasses as a disguise. And, remember, when she and Suri lived in NYC, Katie used a secret pathway from her apartment to a backroom at Whole Foods in order to avoid the paparazzi, and now she’s tripping them up by wearing masterful disguises when she goes to a hotel to, um, visit, Jamie Foxx.

Perhaps that’s how she escaped from Tommy’s house in the first place; she disguised herself as a floor lamp and mailed herself to New York?

Oh Demi Lovato, don’t say dumb things and then when you get called out for them pretend it was all a joke because the only people laughing are the ones laughing at you, m’kay?

See, Lovato was in Berlin recently and during a routine Q&A she was asked to describe her favorite dish and she replied:

“My favorite dish? I like mugs, because they’re very comfortable in your hand, and they hold hot things that you don’t have to touch. So, um, coffee, or hot tea.”

And then she said no more; no laugh; no giggle; no ‘I’m kidding,’ until the interview went viral and then she Tweeted that no one gets her sense of humor.

Um, maybe we will Demi, when you’re being funny and not being kinda dumb.

And speaking of dumb, let’s go back to L:ohan who Instagrammed this message about why she wasn’t going to Canada — read it more than once, and read it slowly, to understand her brilliance:

“they always come back. I love you NYC they always come back. I love you NYC #godblesstheworld #michaeljackson #rip miss you as my real only private friend. For you: god, for all hurts and wrongs, please let me forgive, Allah please let me be forgiven, and all forgive themselves. Please and thank you. (Someone I was with the night before several towers fell, it felt like not a curse, but more like a spell.. What we think in America is not always clear, we don’t have @peta commercials / you just kill deer….with this being said, I’m a girl with a reputation mislead… Like a diamond in the rough, you, now, for 25 years have seen me on TV and screen.. So i am programmed to stand tough. Black or white – in life, rather than love we create a fight of an ideal situation of an unexceptional, yet unacceptable future that @TMZ @Eonline @HarveylevinTMZ &#harveyweinstein ..couldn’t and wouldn’t even care to describe any thought of the people we forget to help when a franchise film comes out and, If money means more than freedom- than stay in California. If helping others is a passion, talk to angelina jolie… If you want to be a brilliant actress, work wth Meryl Streep …at the end of the day- republican or democrats — BE HERE NOW @oprah and live with integrity. Or go to sleep. The most beautiful life comes cheap. Stop fighting and using artists for distractions. It’s boring…  #UnitedNations”

So, did Canada keep her out because she’s a criminal or because she’s an illiterate twit?

Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

The newest sign that a couple is breaking up is The Moving Van. It used to be the Not Wearing The Wedding Ring, but since the Garner-Affleck’s used The Moving Van, and the excuse that they were remodeling, just days before announcing their divorce, it just might be Hollywood’s new go-to response.

And now it seems that Julia Roberts and her husband of thirteen years, Danny Moder, had The Moving Van at their home recently, so, yeah, divorce, because it couldn’t possibly be that they’re moving in or out of a house together, or that they’re just getting new furniture.

Some are saying that Julia is tired of paying the mortgage on Danny’s father’s house and so now she’s called The Moving Van. Yeah, Julia Roberts who has a net worth of upwards of $150 million is crying over a paltry mortgage payment. Call me when she stops wearing her wedding ring; I’m old school like that.

And speaking of divorces, let’s talk how Jessica Simpson now says that her biggest financial mistake was her divorce from Nick Lachey.

When the duo married, Nick was a hot boy bander with a promising career — that ultimately tanked — and Jessica was a so-so singer with little to no fame who now owns a billion dollar shoe design empire.

And that’s the deal; because when Lachey and Simpson wed, Jessica’ not-yet-openly-gay father, Joe, told her not to sign a pre-nup because Nick had all the cash. Then, when the divorce finally came it was Jessica who had the bank vault, and so she was the one who shelled out $12 million to lose Lachey.

This from a girl who didn’t know the difference between tuna and chicken? Oy.

So, maybe it was Blake Shelton and his drinking and partying that ruined his marriage to Miranda Lambert after all.

See, according to my source — and I toss a couple of coins at Lohan  for info — Blake has been drowning himself in booze, strippers, and group sex since his divorce and may soon be headed to rehab.

At a friend’s bachelor party weekend in Cancun, Mexico, a hotel guest claims that Shelton was “doing shots of tequila nonstop and partied with strippers all weekend.” And then, one night, Shelton and friends went to a local strip club called Dassan where he found two girls to take back to the hotel for a, um, private concert.

And so now Blake’s people — who rely on him for their income and want to keep making that Voice money — are urging him to seek help before they have to look for work elsewhere.

Maybe by getting Lohan ready for travel to Canada?

I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

Those Kardastrophes ruin it for everyone. No, not Kim Kardastrophe or even Kanye Kardastrophe, I’m talking NorthSouthEastWest Kardastrophe ruining Fashion Week for babies! See, during this years’ New York Fashion Week, little North threw not one but two front-row hissy fits. Kim was so embarrassed; she took North backstage and left her there while she returned to her seat. What a wonderful mother!

Now, it’s not her fault; she has a lunatic for a father and a famewhore for a mother who thinks that the front-row at a fashion show is the best place for a toddler.

Well, now Nuclear Wintour has put her foot down and officially banned all children from runway shows by telling designers not to allow toddlers on the front row at any fashion show that she attends.

Now if only Anna would ban spoiled brats and porn stars, we’d never see Kim or Kanye at Fashion Week again!

This makes me laugh … the thief who stole Lupita Nyong’o‘s $150,000 pearl Oscar dress has apparently left it on a bathroom floor after he attempted to have it appraised and learned the pearls weren’t real. And then he actually called TMZ to say he took two of the pearls down to the Garment District in LA and learned they were fake so he returned the dress to the hotel.

To top it off, the people at Calvin Klein never said if the pearls were real or fake, and the only person who represented the orbs as real and valued the dress at $150K was Lupita’s stylist.

Francesco Costa, Women’s Creative Director of Calvin Klein, said this:

“Did anyone ever say they were real from Calvin Klein? I always assumed everyone knew they were fake, but I guess not. The source awesomely adds, “Do they really make dresses out of real jewels since Cleopatra died?”

The thief was apparently all bent out of shape and said he called TMZ just to “expose Hollywood’s fake bullshit” but he just comes off looking like a moron thinking he was, what, going to pawn a $150,000 peal dress and not get nabbed.

Stupid is a stupid does.

Wow. Her dressing room hasn’t even been fumigated yet and already people are coming for Kelly Osborne’s Fashion Police gig.

The two front-runners, and I mean they’re a couple of heifers racing down a chute into the rodeo ring, are Khloe Kardastrophe and NeNe Leakes. Ryan Seacrest, who practically runs E! is said to be Team Khloe while UsWeekly says NeNe is in it to win it.

A source close to Khloe — it’s Khloe, really — says, “She was supposed to do it last time and passed. She may consider doing it again but the offer would have to be really high. It’s a lot of extra work for her.”

‘Extra work’? Bitch, please. Khloe has never had a job.

As for NeNe, rumor has it that shortly after The Great Joan Rivers™ passed away, NeNe’s name was bandied about as a replacement.

Again. Bitch, please. Kill the show already. It has been the same without JR.

And ... women who dress like this are going to be Fashion Police?

There’s always been the idea that the Kennedy’s are America’s Royal Family, and it’s kinda true … in that some of them are spoiled, self-indulgent, pampered, drunk in public and dumb.

Like Robert Kennedy Jr.’s underage daughter, Kyra, who made a scene when she was refused entry at club Lava at the Turning Stone Resort Casino in Verona an upstate New York recently.

The 19-year-old made a drunken stink at the club when security didn’t accept her ID — a passport belonging to her 26-year-old half-sister, Kick.

One witness — and it could’a been Lohan because it was at a nightclub and that girl lives in nightclubs — said, “A security guard took Kick’s passport from Kyra and asked her to recite her birth date, and she didn’t know it. He then caught her trying to look up Kick’s birthday on Wikipedia on her phone. 

The security guard then refused to return the passport, and Kyra started shouting all this stuff, including, ‘I am a Kennedy, Google me. If you don’t let me in, the governor will be calling.’”

Lovely. Her grandfather would be so proud.

I just love a Bitter Old Queen Fight … and I don’t mean Carlos and I have a spat over breakfast about who didn’t do the laundry ... I mean a Global Bitter Old Queen Fight.

Y’all remember when Madge took a tumble at the BRIT Awards after a dancer tried to remove the cape she was wearing — to reveal her matador outfit — and he ended up heels over tits on the floor? Well, afterwards Madge admitted the cape was tied too tightly and the staging wasn’t exactly as they had rehearsed, but she thanked Giorgio Armani for making the cape.

But it seems like Giorgio had his bikini briefs on backwards because he took a swipe at Madge for no apparent reason, saying the bull fighter’s cape that took her down was meant to be closed with an easy-to-undo hook but she wanted it tied instead:

“Madonna, as we all know, is very difficult. That’s all there was to it.”

Okay, so Madge changed the closure on the cape, but she’s the one who took the fall. Why is Bitter Old Queen Giorgio throwing shade at Bitter Old Queen Madge? We all know she’s “very difficult”. What does that have to do with her fall though?

I think Giorgio is suggesting that when he wears the cape around his house and his scantily clad male dancers pull it off of him to reveal his toreador suit, he doesn’t fall down and go BOOM so why should she?

Sometimes these things write themselves …

Y’all remember Amy Pascal; the former Sony Pictures boss who emails were hacked and showed what a b***h she was and so she was kicked to the curb. Well, in this case ‘the curb’ was a downshift position to ‘on-the-lot producer’ in a smaller office once used by Seth Rogen.

But the movie is being delayed because of Rogan’s love of marijuana. The suite Pascal’s set to take over reeks of pot thanks to its most recent occupants, Rogen and his Interview directing partner Evan Goldberg.

The offices will be repainted in an attempt to get rid of the smell, as the ALLEGED stench had seeped into the flooring — some say they could smell it two floors away.

Rogan for his part is fuming — get it, fuming — about the story, at first calling it untrue, and then saying he was angry that they would call his pot ‘stench.’

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.......

Color me stunned, not purple.
See what I did there?

Anyhoooo, people were all speculatin' that James Franco was high when he hosted the Oscars this year; well, maybe not people, but I was. And now comes word that Whoopi Goldberg has admitted, on a video clip, that she was stoned when she accepted her Oscar in 1991 for her role in 'Ghost.'
Whoopi says, on that tape: "Smoking cigarettes and pot every now and then are my habits. And I thought, 'I've got to relax.' So I smoked this wonderful joint that was the last of my home grown."
And then Miss Goldberg goes on to say that she was so surprised by her win that she was worried about getting onstage: "When [Denzel Washington] said my name and I popped up, I thought, 'Oh f---... okay, up the stairs... around to the podium... there's millions of people, pick up the statue, get the statue."
And apparently she pulled it off because I don't remember anyone talking about that back in the day. Except for Whoopi's mother, who could tell her daughter was high by her "glistening eyes" and called to scold her.
Whoopi ends her nearly two-decade old video confession with her own PSA: "I know you're not supposed to admit that you smoke pot, but I don't drink alcohol. Just because I do it doesn't mean you should."
Whoopi Goldberg high.
Who knew?

Poor Hef.

It seems that 900-year-old Hugh Hefner's 24-year-old fiancee, Crystal Harris, is not exactly ready to settle down with her centuries old fiance. She is ALLEGEDLY cheating on her grandpa with Dr. Phil's son.
Hmmm, which is worse, marrying a man thirty-seven times your age, or having Dr. Phil as a father-in-law?
Witnesses--and by witnesses, I mean pool boys at the Playboy Mansion who scrub the Grotto free from herpes and hepatitis--say that Crystal and Jordan McGraw were cozying "up at the Chateau Marmont in LA" and that while Crystal was hoping to keep their romance low-key--lest Hef send out the Hit Bunnies--Jordan doesn't care; he'll fight a nine-hundred-year-old man.
Jordan seems to be following in his older brother's footsteps; his brother, Jay, is married to Playboy model Erica Dahm. And his father loves to spank Little Phil while ogling pictures of his daughter-in-law.
Crystal and Jordan met when Jordan became the producer of her album at the Organica record label. Jordan, however, was subsequently let go "for dating female clients under the label."
Daddy would be so proud.
Not Daddy Hef, Daddy Phil.

Well, after a tense week, where talk was that Charlie "Winning" Sheen might be returning to 2-1/2 Men, rumors are flying that Jeremy Piven will be taking over.

A source close to the situation, and I think it's Jon Cryer--says: “Jeremy is a great actor and a hot commodity, his name has come up a couple of times in talks about who, if anybody, could step into Charlie’s shoes.”
But, if CBS wants to hire Piven as the new Sheen, they might, um, want to talk to Piven. According to his people--and by people, i mean the ones who keep him from eating sushi [Google it]--“No one connected in any way with Jeremy knows anything about this and that would include Jeremy.”
I wouldn't be surprised if Sheen does get his job back, unless, during his current stage show, "My Mental Breakdown," or, um, "Charlie Sheen Live: My Violent Torpedo Of Truth" he continues to bash his show, his network, and the producers.
Money talks, even when it's talking about an insane drug addict.
Sidenote: I'm still waiting to hear from CBS about hiring me for the show, and then calling it, 'One Man, A Half Man, and A Homo'.
I smell Emmy!

Dina Lohan, Mom Of The Year, says that her daughter, pill-popping, chain-smoking, vodka-swilling, car-stealing, rehab-going, jail-living, Lindsay, never had any intention of agreeing to a plea deal and accepting guilt for allegedly stealing a $2,500 necklace from a Venice Beach jeweler.

Lindsay's attorney, Shawn Holley, kept on speed dial on every single Lohan phone, you know, just in case, has formally notified the LA District Attorney, and Judge Keith Schwartz, that Lindsay stomped her feet and said, "No deal! Now, let's go clubbing!"
Dina said her daughter never even entertained the idea of copping a plea. Which is true, because the only thing Lindsay ever entertained was a martini in a sippy cup. Dina says: "She was never going to plead guilty to a crime she didn't commit. All along Lindsay has never wavered regarding her innocence."
Lindsay never wavered, because she doesn't know what that means, All she knows, is that Mama Dina needs a new pair of shoes, and how's she gonna get them if her meal ticket is in jail?
How else can you explain the fact that Dina Lohan, with a straight face, thanks to Botox and Ketel One, actually said: "I saw the entire security tape, and it showed the necklace clearly being loaned to Lindsay. The jewelry store's only motivation was for publicity and profit."
Um, wow, Dina? Please to explain, how, if the necklace was clearly being loaned to Lindsay, she didn't bother to return it until the police got involved?
I don't know which is worse, the junkie jewel thief daughter, or the fame-whoring, living off my child mother.

Oh, this just screams trainwreck!

Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina, just might be getting her own reality show.
I know!
Train...followed quickly by....wreck.
With rumors of drug addiction--Crack is wack--and a sex tape--How else am I gonna get famous--flying, the teenager might be laying her life bare on the small screen; Bobbi K even Tweeted the news.
“PS EVERYONE ! Guess what ?! _ we are currently in the process of meetings about starting my very OWN! RealityShow!!”
Again.Train.Wreck.
I mean, she did see Bobby and Whitney's reality show, didn't she? She saw how they came off as a couple of drug addicted hoarders, right/ She saw the fights, the arrests, the craziness fueled by all sorts of drugs, didn't she?
And she wants to do that, too.
Like Mama and Daddy, crazy don't fall far from the tree.
Bobbi K then sent another Tweet: “The world needs 2know me 4who I REALLY am_ U all will get 2see my everyday living_ walk with me thro startin my career. . EVERYTHING.”
Walk me thro startin' my career.
I have an idea, maybe in one episode, Bobbi K takes a spelling class.

'Dancing With The Stars'
Honey, no.

But, you know, with Kirstie Alley and her own special brand of wackadoo, it might be fun, if only for the feuds it starts.
It seems that Kirstie has struck back at late night host George Lopez on Twitter, after GLo likened Alley to a pig in a bit on his show.
Someone called WestCoastGal88 tweeted to Alley, "If you read my stream -- I just called George Lopez a PIG :)"
Alley quickly responded: "lol...a drunk pig...hehe."
This all started when Lopez made Alley the butt of a weight joke on Tuesday's Lopez Tonight: “She did a nice job. Her little hooves tapping away.” He then did a riff on the nursery rhyme, This Little Piggy Goes to Market, saying, “Before the show she went to the market. And then she had roast beef. And this is her going all the way home,” before playing a clip of a pig squealing “wheeeee” while riding in a car.
Not nice, GLo. not nice.
But, um, Kirstie, why you gettin' so pissy?
I mean, you did make an entire series about your weight when you did your "reality" show, 'Fat Actress', didn't you? If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen, and shut the refrigerator!

Jessica Biel doesn't let the grass grow under her vah-jay-jay, now, does she?
Roughly six minutes after being devastated that Justin...gay...Timberlake dumped her, Biel was spotted making out with man-whore Gerard Butler.

Wow. talk about an STD cesspool.
I know!
Apparently Biel and Butler are shooting a movie together in New Orleans and have become quite the Uglies Bumpers off-set. They were first spotted at a crew member’s birthday party, then, a couple of nights later, they went to get some Mexican food alone, starting drinking heavily, and left together.
Enchiladas + Pitchers of Margaritas = Roll in the hay.
They also had 'dinner'--insert your own euphemism here: ____--twice more later that week. Of course, both are denying their NoLa hook-up, and their reps are working overtime coming up with a different version of the "just friends" excuse.
A source--and by source, I mean the make-up gal who stands guard while Biel and Butler do the thrust and Moan--says: “They have never had dinner alone. They are always in a crew of people on the film."
So, it's group sex, then, eh?

In addition to being stupid--I mean, she carries cocaine in her cooch--and being a fame-whore--she once spent twenty minutes standing in front of an ATM machine because she spotted a camera--Paris Hilton is also ALLEGEDLY a racist.

It seems that the Hilton girls, Paris and the smarter one--which really isn't saying much, were at a club together--because, what else do they do--getting their jiggy on, when suddenly Paris looked into the camcorder her friend was carrying--because Paris documents every moment of her life so she can tell her gyno who she schtupped--and said: “We're like two n*****s.”
Oh, but she did--Google it.
I found this shocking, until I learned that LA Weekly has an excerpt from a new book written by Hollywood reporter Neil Straus, who interviewed Paris Skankton when she was 18, and he says this went down:
HILTON: I went out with that guy last night.
STRAUSS: Which guy?
HILTON: (points to an actor in Saving Private Ryan): We were making out, but then we went somewhere where it was bright and I saw that he was black and made an excuse and left. I can’t stand black guys. I would never touch one. It’s gross. (pauses). Does that guy look black to you?
STRAUSS: How black does a guy have to be?
HILTON: One percent is enough for me.
Wow, Paris Hilton.
Cooch full of coke, brain full of mush, and a mouth full of s**t.
Right?

You gotta love it when your boyfriend has your back.

Sarah Lane, an American Ballet Theater soloist, was Natalie Portman's double in 'Black Swan'. And she gave an interview to Dance Magazine in which she said 'Swan' producers, Fox Searchlight, asked her to stop talking to the media. She says the Fox people wanted everybody to think Portman did most of her own dancing.
That must have pissed Sarah off, especially when you add that Natalie never thanked her when she accepted her Oscar, so Sarah Lane is talking again.
But she isn't getting far, because Natalie's dance-trainer-choreographer-fiance-and-baby-daddy, Benjamin Millepied, is pirouetting to her defense:
"It was so believable, it was fantastic, that beautiful movement quality. There are articles now talking about her dance double [American Ballet Theatre dancer Sarah Lane] that are making it sound like [Lane] did a lot of the work, but really, she just did the footwork, and the fouettés, and one diagonal [phrase] in the studio. Honestly, 85% of that movie is Natalie."
Take that, Sarah! And, back to the chorus!

Poor Star Jones.
No one likes her.
Seriously, show of hands: who likes Star?
:::crickets::::

We all know that on the current season of Donald Trump's 'Ego Apprentice' Star, and 'Real Housewives of Atlanta' dive NeNe Leakes haven't been getting along. NeNe even went so far as to say that if Star was on fire, she wouldn't a spit ball her way.
Ouch.
And to pour salt into that wound, NeNe is now hanging around with one of Star's former flamers, er, flames, and ex-homo-husband, Big Gay Al.
I know! Dee-lish!
A source--and by source I mean NeNe, because who loves to gossip about NeNe more than NeNe--had this to say: "Star thinks it's pathetic that these two has-beens have teamed up together. NeNe knows how much pain and hurt, that man caused Star. For NeNe to suddenly befriend him tells you exactly what sort of woman she really is. Al will do anything to get back into the press, including hanging out with reality stars. But to be getting close and personal with a woman who has publicly stated she wouldn't spit on your ex-wife if she was on fire is just desperate."
Poor Star. She marries an ALLEGED homo, tells the world that he is ALLEGEDLY straight, and then dumps him, and now gets all aflame because her ex and her enemy are friends.
I mean, NeNe and Al might be good for each other. Every diva needs a homo to help with make-up tips, and if anyone needs makeup tips, it's NeNe.
Al? Show her how you do the smokey eye!