Snarky Thoughts

That old saying … everything old is new again is still old … if you’re former Grey’s Anatomy actor Katherine Heigl. I mean, it was over thirteen years ago that Heigl publicly dissed her paycheck by saying the writing on the show was low quality and she worked too much and then quit the show for a film career that went nowhere, and now she’s talking about it again.

My Thought: Heigl, set to co-star with that bastion of straight man energy, John Travolta, thinks the best way to get attention is to talk about what a spoiled brat she was on her last big gig? Sorry, hon.

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Now that Vin Diesel’s and Duane Johnson have kissed and made up—Johnson is set to return to the Fast and Furious franchise—Vin needs another person to blame for the bad things in life … like the reviews and box office for Fast X. Diesel is now blaming newcomer Jason Momoa‘s “overacting” on the film’s terrible reviews.

My Thought: I know the glare from your oversized melon may be clouding your vision but take a look in the mirror Vin and see what the two movies have in common and that might explain the lack of interest.

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After six years of dating, and all kinds of rumors an impending wedding, Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn broke up just as Swifty started her Eras Tour and quicker than you could say Damn she’s thirsty for attention, Swifty fell in love hooked up with bad boy—rumored to be a racist, homophobic drug addict—Matty Healy. Swifty even gushed from the stage one night that this was the happiest she’d ever been in her whole life.

My Thought: I hope she has a good memory and can hold onto that thought because Swifty and her happiness just broke up after a few weeks of dating.

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Remy Ma—she’s a rapper, I Googled her for y’all—recently celebrated her 43rd birthday but she claims she’s only thirty-five; oh, not because she’s not feeling 43 and trying to hide her age. Remy Ma is 43 but she was in jail for six years, and there were those two years of COVID restrictions and lockdowns, so she’s just thirty-five.

My Thought: I just heard of Remy Ma and she has become the biggest fool I’ve seen. I just subtracted 5 minutes from my life for posting this.

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From the Height of Delusional file comes word that Kim Kardastrophe wants y’all to know she’s shy in the bedroom. Kimmy was sharing her bedroom shyness on her TV show while discussing how Cher  and her much younger boyfriend, Alexander Edwards, were seen making out at a party:

“I would just be insecure.”

And then Kimmy said she prefers to make love get banged with the lights off.

My Thought: She likes the lights off during sex unless she's filming it, like she did with Ray J, so That Woman could sell the video for a reality show career. Oh, and shy in the bedroom doesn't translate to paparazzi shots and magazine covers where Kimmy shows everything to everyone all at once.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Another story of those self-entitled asshats who don’t care about the rules, or anyone other than themselves … and it features one Keanu Reeves.

The Matrix 4 recently wrapped filming in Germany and wanted to have a fabulous wrap party, but the country was under a partial lockdown and large gatherings were prohibited, so the producers got around the lockdown by claiming the party was actually being filmed as part of the movie.

Keanu and his girlfriend, Alexandra Grant, were both in attendance, along with 200 other folks not wearing masks and not practicing social distancing. But hey, it was movie stars and why should they follow the rules or care if they’re endangering anyone else.

A spokeswoman for Studio Babelsberg, Bianca Makarewicz, said:

“According to the production, it was the last day of shooting. It was a celebration scene… Hygiene requirements were adhered to. The production deliberately put this shoot with many people involved at the end of the shoot.”

Except there was no filming going on … just superspreading.

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George Clooney really is quite the friend. And quite a dick, in my mind. This week Clooney confirmed an old rumor that, back in 2013, he gifted his 14 closest friends with $1 million each:

“I just thought basically if I get hit by a bus, they’re all in the will. So why the f**k am I waiting to get hit by a bus?”

A few years ago, Clooney’s business partner BFF, Rande Gerber, told the story of Clooney inviting 14 friends for dinner and then surprising each one with a suitcase containing $1 million in cash.

Clooney says now that when he decided to gift all those coins to his friends, he was single, aging and didn’t expect to have a family. Now he’s married and the father of 3-year-old twins.

I just wonder, though, how much better it might have been if Clooney had given $14 million to a charity or a hospital or AIDS research, instead of a group of buddies.

Sad.

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Man, Isaiah Washington can hold onto a grudge.

You might remember that back in 2007, Washington was fired from TV’s Grey’s Anatomy after calling costar T.R. Knight a homophobic slur during an on-set fight with another actor, Patrick Dempsey. Knight’s friend and costar, Katherine Heigl, defended him, and dragged Washington for filth, suggesting he should never be allowed to speak publicly.

And thirteen years later, Isaiah got bored and decided it was time to drag Heigl on Twitter:

“This woman once proclaimed that I should ‘never’ be allowed to speak publicly again. The world agreed with her proclamation back then and protested for my job and my head in 65 languages. I wish I was on Twitter in 2007, beause [sic] I will NEVER stop exercising my free speech.”

Isaiah furthered his attack against Katherine by answering responses from his fan, calling her a nobody, and even pulling producer Chandra Wilson into it:

“Your opinions are your own, but you are a fool, a liberal and misguided feminist to even try and defend this woman. You weren't there, so die on this hill, whoever you are. She could have cared less about her gay friend. Chandra Wilson knows all about that too.”

Katherine didn’t respond to Isaiah, but told a source—possibly Schmatherine Schmeigl—that she has no regrets about standing up for T.R. all those years ago:

“Katherine stood up for her close friend twice when Isaiah publicly outed him and called him a f—-t. That’s hate talk, not free speech. She is proud that she stood up for him. Katherine is and always will be an advocate and ally to the LGBTQ community.”

Nice how she props herself up, but then again, why not when someone crawls from the woodwork to rehash a thirteen-year-old argument.

Take a seat, Isaiah.

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Self-entitled one percenter, and college scam criminal, Mossimo Giannulli is just days away from checking into prison to serve out his five-month sentence. His wife, and co-conspirator, Lori Loughlin, is in prison right now, and she was said to have boosted her immune system so she wouldn’t get The COVID while in the slammer.

Mossimo, however, took a different approach and decided to go full on bald-headed, goateed serial criminal. He’s practicing his prison lingo, learning to shower without bending over, lifting weights, learning the difference between ‘shiv’ and ‘shank’ and reminding himself that, in the Big House, he’ll be known as Aunt Becky … Bubba’s main bitch.

Sorry, not sorry.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Gosh I love dirt … and now a celebrity stylist by the name of Tamaran is giving me life, and possibly ruining her career, by dishing on who is the absolutely worst when it comes to diva behavior.

Tamaran, who worked as an assistant to several stylists from 2008 to 2017, unloaded about her former clients, like JLo:

“I knew this one for years. There’s a reason why she can’t hold down a costumer or a seamstress. In order to talk to J Lo you can’t look at her. In order to talk to her you have to talk to God.”

And Katherine Heigl: 

“If 2020 was a career, it would be Katherine Heigl. Friends of mine who have worked on set with her and photoshoots have told me that she is extremely difficult and always mad.”

On Jessica Alba: 

“If 2020 was an attitude it would be Jessica Alba…she’s not nice. She loves to rub hummus on her dress, play mind games with you, [and] she does this thing where she talks to you while not talking to you.

On Alexis Knapp: 

“There’s some celebrities who pay, some who take forever to pay, and some who just don’t pay because they think their name is enough … that was Alexis Knapp. [Her 2015 MTV Movie awards look] was one of the most difficult looks to put together. Whilst being fitted in this dress, Alexis decided it would be wonderful to eat a slice of chocolate ice cream cake. Part of the cake melted onto the dress, and guess who had to clean it? Oh, but it gets better … a designer lent Alexis $1,300 worth of jewelry … and let’s just say that she couldn’t ‘find it’. When my boss asked for payment, Alexis responded with, ‘I needed to pay you?’”

Tamaran wasn’t all negative; she said nice things about actor Jacob Elordi, George Clooney and Ariel Winter, and says Carrie Underwood is “the sweetest person on the planet” and Selena Gomez is, “one of the most professional human beings in the industry.” 

Now, I get JLo because she was almost nominated for an Oscar for playing herself in a movie so she has an ego as big as her ass; and I get Heigl because she thinks she’s a major star but she’s really a TV hack-tress looking for work, but that Alexis Knapp?

Who is she? JLo Jr.?

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Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello first became a thing last July and while many thought it was just a stunt that created in a PR firm basement to promote their single and take the heat off the rumors that Shawn is a big old homo, they proved everyone wrong by fulfilling their long-term relationship contract.

And now they are, ahem, “on a break.”

Sources say 22-year-old Shawn and 23-year-old Camila are taking some time apart to focus on their respective music careers even though it was their music careers that brought them together in the first place.

Huh? What? Rumor has it that, after quarantining in in Camila’s Miami home, the two would head back to Shawn’s place in LA, until Camila said, “Uh, naaaa.” But maybe their love will return because their respective representatives say, as a way of proof, that neither has erased the other from their social media accounts.

True love, or just the idea that relationships created for social media never really die …they just face away.

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A funny, makes perfect sense, totally insane, Tom Cruise story about running.

Cruise spends a lot of time in his films running, and now actress Annabelle Wallis, who co-starred with Tom in 2017’s reboot-bomb of The Mummy, is following in the footsteps of Thandie Newton and Rob Lowe and spilling the tea on Cruise Crazy by revealing that no one … no one … is allowed to run in the same shot as Tom Cruise until she let him watch her run. Wallis explains:

“I got to run on-screen with him, but he told me no at first. He said, ‘Nobody runs on-screen [with me],’ and I said, ‘But I’m a really good runner.’ So, I would time my treadmill so that he’d walk in and see me run. And then he added all these running scenes. So, that was it. It was, like, better than an Oscar. I was so happy! I was so happy that I got to run on-screen with Tom Cruise.”

Perhaps it’s because Tom equates women running from him than with him.

Amirite Katie? Amirite Nicole?

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He says he didn’t go under the knife!

Bitch.Please! On the left is a still photo of 51-year-old Todd Chrisley, the not-the-least-bit-gay daddy on reality hot mess, Chrisley Knows Best from last March, while on the right is a picture that Todd Chrisley posted on Instagram a few days ago.

Looks like his Throw-Back-Thursday went back about 30 years. But Todd Chrisley swears, and stomps his feet and hisses, and swears again that his new look is not the work of Melanie and Ivanka’s doctor, but that it’s just a little Botox and … wait for it, it’s the height of delusional …the work of God.

Again … Bitch.Please!

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Juicy … it looks as if Lori “Big House Aunt Becky” Loughlin and her husband, Mossimo Giannulli, also dragged their “social media” star daughter, Olivia Jade, into their college scam scheme.

While Lori and Mossimo finally pleaded guilty to their role in the College Admissions Scandal, by admitting to paying $500,00 to scam artist Rick Singer, to get their daughters, Olivia Jade and Isabella Rose, into USC by faking some rowing credentials, the prosecutors just  released a memo to the judge in which they explain Lori and Mossimo told Olivia to keep a low-profile around her suspicious high school counselor. It doesn’t help that those pictures of Olivia on the rowing machine, which I’m sure she thought was some kind of Pilates apparatus, are more evidence that she was probably in on it.

According to the prosecution, Olivia asked her parents if she should tell her high school guidance counselor that USC was her first pick of universities, and Lori and Mossimo ALLEGEDLY told her to keep it on the down low. Lori said:

“Yes… But it might be a flag for the weasel to meddle. Don’t say too much to that man.”

Mossimo then called the counselor a “nosey bastard.” 

These new revelations could hurt the deal Lori and Mossimo made. As part of Mossimo’s plea deal, he’ll serve five months in prison, pay a $250,000 fine, and do 250 hours of community service. Lori will do two months in prison, 100 hours of community service, and a $150,000 fine. They both will, have two years of probation after they get out of the Fuller Big House but …

The judge could take this new information in hand and change their sentences and fines and probation, and maybe even send Olivia to jail, too.

Sorry, not sorry. I’d like to see this whole entitled, self-involved cheating lying scheming scamming family in adjoining cells.

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It's Snarkurday!

EnvelopeGate. Yes, people are still talking about, even after the Academy’s accounting firm, Price-Waterhouse-Coopers, fell on Oscar’s sword and said it was their fault for having two copies of each envelope, which is why one of their accountants gave Warren Beatty the Best Actress envelope instead of the Best Picture envelope.

But were there others at fault ... Faye Dunaway? I mean, rumor has it that Warren and Faye were bickering like a couple of old has-beens backstage over who would get to make the announcement, so when Warren looked confused and flummoxed and kerfuffled, and then showed the card to Faye to get her take on it, she just blurted out “La La Land.”

A source says Faye and Warren were very cold with one another during rehearsals and wouldn’t even block their presentation together; they rehearsed separately because they both wanted to read the name.

Now, picture this, Beatty opens the card, sees Emma Stone’s name on it, realizes it’s the wrong card, acts confused, and then gives it to Faye to f**k it up. Wouldn’t that be better than hitting her with a wire hanger?

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Speaking of Oscar night, it’s not just about awards it’s also fashion and beauty and “Who are you wearing?” and “Who did your brows?” Yeah, people don’t usually ask about the brows, but after hearing this, you might wanna have your Red Carpet pros add it to their litany of questions ...

Sharon-Lee Hamilton is The ... and it deserves italics ... Eyebrow Stylist To The Stars. But she’s based in Sydney, Australia so what is an A-lister supposed to do? Well, if you’re bros, Leo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire, you send a plane Down Under to swoop Hamilton up and wing her to LA so she can sculpt your brows.

Yes, Mister Environmental, Mister Carbon Footprint, Mister I Fought and Got F**ked By A Bear, Leonardo DiCaprio paid thousands of dollars to have a specialist fly halfway around the world to pluck his eye hair ... and that of his BFF.

Men getting tweezed together; how adorable!

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More Oscars ... maybe Ryan Murphy’s next season of Feud can skip Chuck and Di and just give us Meryl and Karl.

It seems that when Meryl received her 123^rd Academy Award nomination the good folks at Chanel, and Karl Lagerfeld, were set to make her a custom gown, until she said she didn’t want it and the sparks flew!

Women’s Wear Daily [WWD] claims Meryl Streep turned down that couture Chanel after the fashion house refused to pay her to wear it. WWD’s Bridget Foley says Streep had her eye on an embroidered gray silk Lagerfeld gown and asked for the neckline to be customized, until, ALLEGEDLY, someone from Streep’s camp said:

“‘Don’t continue the dress. We found somebody who will pay us.’”

Lagerfeld then hissed to the press:

“A genius actress, but cheapness also, no?”

And so Streep’s team stepped forward to say Karl Lagerfeld is a big fat liar and that his account of what happened is nothing but fluff; they say it is against Meryl’s personal ethics to be paid to wear a gown on the red carpet.

Who to believe ... Meryl or Karl?  Brilliant actress, or fashion designer who doesn’t know when to stop talking and says asshatted things?

I’m Team Meryl. And that’s why I wasn’t surprised when Lagerfeld admitted he Jeff Sessions’d the whole thing:

“Chanel engaged in conversations with Ms. Streep’s stylist, on her request, to design a dress for her to wear to the Academy Awards. After an informal conversation, I misunderstood that Ms. Streep may have chosen another designer due to remuneration, which Ms. Streep’s team has confirmed is not the case. I regret this controversy and wish Ms. Streep well with her 20th Academy Award nomination.”

And Meryl, because she’s Meryl Freaking Streep wasn’t about to let Karl’s non-apology-apology sit:

“In reference to Mr. Lagerfeld’s ‘statement,’ there is no ‘controversy’: Karl Lagerfeld, a prominent designer, defamed me, my stylist and the illustrious designer whose dress I chose to wear, in an important industry publication. That publication printed this defamation, unchecked. Subsequently, the story was picked up globally, and continues, globally, to overwhelm my appearance at the Oscars, on the occasion of my record-breaking 20th nomination, and to eclipse this honor in the eyes of the media, my colleagues and the audience. I do not take this lightly, and Mr. Lagerfeld’s generic ‘statement’ of regret for this ‘controversy’ was not an apology. He lied, they printed the lie, and I am still waiting.”

Man, she went all Miranda Priestly on his ass and I am loving it!

Are you listening Ryan Murphy?

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Enough Oscars for now ... let’s move on to GOOP.

A few years ago, Gwyneth Paltrow and Tracy Anderson created a food-delivery service called 3 Green Hearts, which would deliver outrageously priced food to rich people who don’t wanna leave home. But 3 Green Hearts never really went anywhere until now, when the delivery service has morphed into a stand-alone cafe next door to Tracy’s newest fitness studio in Manhattan.

Now, because it’s GOOP, you know it costs, but, and here’s the deal, y’all, if you spend $900 a month for a membership to Tracy’s studio, you get discounts at the cafe. Yes, that’s right, if you plunk down $10,800 a year at Tracy’s fitness dungeon, you can save some coins at Paltrow’s fancy-pants cafe.

Um, Gwyneth, honey, if I’m paying nearly eleven thou a year to work out at your BFF’s gym, then the discount at your little green eatery better be one-hundred-effing-percent.

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Remember last week when I told you that Katherine Heigl’s new show, Doubt, would no doubt be cancelled halfway through the first episode?

Well, I ... was ... wrong. It took two full episodes for CBS to pull the plug. It will be replaced by a rerun of Bull and then a spin-off of a spin-off of a spin-off, Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders—which may or may not be about a now-closed bookstore—will take its place.

Poor Katherine. Well, at least she has those cat litter commercials to fall back on.

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Just to prove that it isn’t just Hollywood that has some icky family drama, let’s turn to the Biden’s.

Beau Biden, former Vice president Joe Biden’s son, passed away in 2015 after battling brain cancer. His death really devastated the family, and in turn was one of the reasons Joe decided not to run for president in 2016.

Cut to 2017, and we find that Beau Biden’s widow is dating Beau’s brother, Hunter. Now, it isn’t talking out of the corners of my mouth to say that it was widely known that Beau was “the good brother” and Hunter was kind of a mess—he was drummed out of the Navy and cheated on his wife, Kathleen and divorced her.

And that’s where the ick factor comes in. Joe’s daughter-in-law, Kathleen says that she and Hunter formally separated in October 2015, after had asked him to leave their home in July of the same year, “due to his conduct the night before.” Apparently the couple had an agreement that if he engaged in the conduct in question—though that conduct is not mentioned—he would leave. Kathleen also says claims that Hunter spent lavishly on “drugs, alcohol, prostitutes, strip clubs, and gifts for women with whom he has sexual relations” and that those “habits” depleted their funds available to pay legitimate bills. Kathleen wants their temporary spousal support to be $20K per month for herself, and $5K per month for Hunter, who is now involved with Hallie.

See, I said he was a mess. And what about Hallie? What was she thinking getting involved with a man like Hunter Biden? And, even a bit ickier ... Joe has apparently given the relationship his blessing.

It’s just so icky. My Daddy. My Uncle.

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And howsabout some ex-Missus Marc Anthony mess?

No, not JLo, silly, but his first wife, Dayanara Torres. She and Marc are once again involved in a child support battle, after she has already taken him to court in the past hoping to get a raise in her child support payments—for their two children—from $13,000 a month to $113,000 monthly. Right?

Anthony said that increasing child support would spoil the children essentially, and Dayanara says Marc was hiding millions in assets and that he gives his other ex, JLo, much more in support for his two children with her.

Well, the judge increased the support to roughly $28,000 a month—Marc also pays $ 6,000 to $ 12,000 a year for “vacation expenses”—and Dayanara has been quiet ... until now. She’s apparently ready to reignite her modeling career and so she’s talking dirt about Marc and their child support issues:

 “Being a mother is my main role, and I pushed my career off to the side. Now that they are older [Cristian is 16, Ryan is 13] I feel like I can let go a little. Work is already starting and I feel happy. The kids also want me to do what I’m doing.”

Torres faced backlash for taking Marc to court for more money, but she says it’s all about stability for the children ... she says they were living in a very small apartment and the boy’s had to share a room ... on $13,000 a month! But, she says, if they lived a lavish life with Marc when he had them, then they should have a lavish life with her, too ... or she should have the lavish life, I’m thinking.

And then Dayanara gets in a dig at JLo; talking about what happened during last fall’s Latin Grammys, where Marc was recognized for his career and sang a duet with JLo, which ended in a kiss between the exes, Dayanara says:

 “Such a shame that a moment of so much stature lost quality with everything that came after.”

Ouch. Dayanara doesn’t mention that Marc was married to someone else at the time of the kiss, or that that marriage broke up around the same time; she seems to save her digs for Lopez.

Methinks Dayanara needs to move on, get a modeling gig, and pay her own bills for a while. Maybe then she won’t feel the need to bash her children’s father in magazine pieces.

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Lastly some good news ... a few years back, Jim Parsons, Kaley Cuoco, and Johnny Galecki of The Big Bang Theory pulled a Friends and renegotiated their contracts so that they all make $1 million per episode. Soon, two other main cast members, Kunal Nayyar and Simon Helberg, hit the Million Dollar Club, too.

Well, it’s time once again for Big Bang Theory contract negotiations, and this time it’s  Mayim Bialik and Melissa Rauch—aka Sheldon’s girlfriend and Howard’s wife—who want the raise. The two joined the show in the third season and were getting $200,000 an episode ... how can they live on that!!!—but now that Bang is in its 10th season, they are considered main cast members and so they asked CBS for their million dollar checks, too.

But, CBS may not want to throw more coins at the cast because there’s a small chance that Bang won’t generate as much syndication revenue for these next two years, which might be the show’s final two years.

So Mayim and Melissa might have been cut out of the Major Payday Sweepstakes except, sources say that Jim, Kaley, Johnny, Kunal, and Simon have all offered to take a $100,000 pay cut per episode so that Mayim and Melissa will get a raise. With the extra money, they’ll each make $450,000 an episode.

How’s that for nice? I mean, sure, cutting your million-dollar-per-episode price down to nine-hundred-thousand-per-episode isn’t a huge cut—they won’t be living in shelters and eating out of the garbage, but still, it’s a nice gesture to make.

You know, millionaires lending a hand to other millionaires.

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It's Snarkurday!

Lisa Marie Presley has been married ... a lot; I mean, we all know about the Michael Jackson sham and the Nicholas Cage crazy, but there are others; and that means she’s been divorced ... a lot, too. But normally her divorces are quiet and quick, until this current one—I won’t say ‘last one’ because ... it’s Lisa Marie—from Michael Lockwood, her husband of ten years, is getting ugly.

Lisa Marie and Michael have twin 8-year-old girls who are now in the custody of the LA County Department of Children and Family Services after Lisa Marie told the authorities that she found disturbing things on Michael’s computer ... something along the lines of child porn, though no one is really saying.

Lisa Marie says the images and videos made her “sick to her stomach” and so she called the Beverly Hills Police Department; using a search warrant, they found the questionable images and videos, and also confiscated 80 ... eighty??? ... of Michael’s devices.

Now the divorce is not just irreconcilable differences, but about the ALLEGATIONS of “sexual abuse and neglect” against Michael Lockwood and, while he wants spousal support, she is claiming to be broke.

Yup, Lisa Marie is broker than broke. She’s already gone through her $300 million inheritance from Daddy Elvis, owes $7.3 million to the IRS, is $655,000 in debt, and is living with her daughter Riley Keough and her husband.  

And, she says, her brokeness is ALLEGEDLY Lockwood’s fault because, again, she says, he stole from her and failed to make the payments on her English manor house and so she owes another $5.4 million there.

But, to be fair, this is what constitutes broke in Lisa Marie’s life: she receives $100,000 a month from her father’s estate and another $4,361 monthly for being the creative director at Graceland. Over 100K a month is broke? That’s almost $3,500 a day. I should be so broke.

Now, I don’t know if Lisa Marie is broke—okay, I know she’s not Bob Broke, she’s Presley broke—and I don’t know if her husband is some kind of Subway Jared perv, but I do know that this is one fugly split.

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Speaking of celebrity divorces, it now appears that after splitting up—perhaps because of Ben’s dalliance with the nanny—Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are finally, truly, really done being husband-and-wife.

Ben has moved out of the guest house and Jennifer is filing papers. I’m kinda glad because this marriage-is-over-but-he’s-living-in-the-guest-house-and-we-take-vacations-together mess has gone on too long.

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Poor Little Justin Bieber ... back in May 2016, an indie artist named Casey Dienel accused Justin and Skrillex of stealing a sample from her song Ring The Bell and using it without permission. So now she’s suing, but getting Justin to talk may be hard.

Bieber was scheduled to give a deposition last week, but didn’t even show up. He called in sick ... well, the nanny called in sick ... he couldn’t talk with the rectal thermometer in his mouth.

But Casey Dienel’s lawyers think he’s #FakeNews and say they have proof via several YouTube videos showing him partying with his friends in the early morning hours before his scheduled deposition... damn you, YouTube ... and then hours after calling in sick, Bieber, posted more pictures to Instagram of him drinking with his friends.

To be fair, no one ever said he was smart.

Casey’s lawyers are pissed, because they flew from Nashville to LA for the deposition, so now they want Bieber to give his make-up deposition in March in Nashville.

I imagine his excuse for missing that deposition is that he got locked inside the overhead compartment on the plane.

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Katherine Heigl had it made; she was the It Girl on Grey’s Anatomy back in the day, but then her head got too big and she ran from that show to make movies. A few were successful, but then even her films were bust so she went trotting back to TV. Her first foray of shame was in something called State of Affairs, which was cancelled about halfway through the first hour it was on.

So, don’t blink, because Heigl is back in a new show called Doubt and there is no doubt that it will die a quick death.

But this story is about her promoting Doubt on The Late Late Show with James Corden, and Corden saying he’d heard—or had been told, by Heigl—that John Mayer had something to do with her finding her husband and falling in love and blahblahblah.

See, about a month after Heigl and Josh Kelley started dating, she says that she didn’t know if he was serious, and so she started “hanging out”—banging—John Mayer; she swears they never “did it” but says she just used John  to make Josh jealous:

“[John] wasn’t interested in me in that way, but he would talk to me about like other hot girls and stuff. It was friends! But Josh didn’t know that. But Josh, to this day, doesn’t quite believe me ... But I did use it a little bit to put a fire under him. It was like, ‘Hey, if this isn’t exclusive and you’re dating other people, that’s fine, but I’m going to continuing seeing John.'”

Seriously, Josh was jealous of John Mayer? I mean, Mayer has banged garbage cans in LA and if Heigl thinks that’s an endearing quality to make Josh jealous then the two of them, the three of them, are crazy.

Or maybe Josh Kelley knew they were banging and sacrificed himself to save the world from a Heigl-Mayer spawn.

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Two years after Nicole Kidman escaped the cult of Scientology Tom Cruise, there were rumors she was dating Lenny Kravitz.  I remember hearing that and thinking, “Lucky bitch,” but neither Nicole nor Lenny ever confirmed it ... until now.

Nicole is starring in a new HBO series Big Little Lies and one of her co-stars is, small world, Lenny’s daughter Zoë Kravitz, and when Nicole was interviewed about the show and the other actresses and how they all knew each other, she said this:

“Well, I knew Zoë because I was engaged to her father. It’s all in the family! I love Lenny; he’s a great guy.”

Back in 2007, Nicole admitted she had been engaged to someone before marrying Keith Urban in 2006, but she wouldn’t say to whom ... and now we know.

Seriously, it looks like some celebrities don’t have to share their every moment with the media ... though this romance was back in the days before everyone had a smart phone and an Instagram account.

And again, I’ve seen the video of Lenny onstage and he splits his pants down the middle and so, again, “Lucky bitch.”

Even if it was a short engagement.

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Sometimes it’s best when athletes don’t speak; I mean, make your coins from your athletic prowess, but don’t talk, at all.

Case in point, Cleveland Cavalier Kyrie Irving who has just come out ... no, not that way ... to say that the earth is flat.  Oh, but he did; he said it on the Road Trippin’ with RJ & Channing podcast:

“This is not even a conspiracy theory. The Earth is flat. The Earth is flat. … It’s right in front of our faces. I’m telling you, it’s right in front of our faces. They lie to us.”

He says science is just opinion and that sometimes—shades of Hair Furor—they lie, because he did learn that the earth was round but found that to be a lie?

What the what? It got to be such a story in the NBA that even LeBron James weighed in, saying “if he decides he wants to say the Earth is flat, so be it. He’s an interesting guy, and he believes it.” 

What the ... ? LeBron? You need to sit down and rethink that statement because what you should have said was something along the lines of, “How cute, but the earth isn’t flat and science isn’t just some guy’s opinion.

And Irving? Child, you need to stop talking and get back to class.

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Harrison Ford is one of those movie stars who like to fly planes and for a while he was good at it. Then he flew one into the ground and seriously injured himself, and last week he ALLEGEDLY landed his plane on a taxiway instead of a runway at the John Wayne Airport in Santa Ana, California and nearly missed hitting another plane carrying 110 passengers.

And now his newest role is playing the subject of an FAA investigation because, as he was coming in for a landing on the wrong runway, he asked the tower:

“Was that airliner meant to be underneath me?”

And that answer would be, “No, fool! You aren’t supposed to be over that airliner!”

And, not only that, Ford also ALLEGEDLY misidentified what kind of plane he was piloting and was ALLEGEDLY broadcasting to the wrong tower!

I’m thinking Hans should no longer fly Solo.

See what I did there ... ah, who cares!

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Disney is doing live-action remakes of pretty much all their cartoons because M-I-C ... see ya real soon ... K-E-Y ... why, because we need the coins.

And now comes word that Disney will be doing a live version of The Little Mermaid and, color me crazy, but Lindsay Lohan wants to be the mermaid.

On her Instagram page, Lohan actually put a photo of herself alongside a picture of cartoon Ariel, and then announced that she wants Bill Condon to direct, and her sister, Ali, to do a song for the film, and that Kat Graham should play Ursula.

Sadly, were this version of The Little Mermaid be made, it would end up with Ariel in prison for killing someone in an undersea bar fight.

Seriously, Lindsay? Sit down before you fall down.

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Remember how broke Tori Spelling is? I mean, the IRS is after her, as are most credit card companies because Tori and her husband Dean McDermott don’t pay their bills.

And so what better way to try and get out of debt than to become pregnant with your fifth child and then ask your Mommy, Candy Spelling, to throw you a lavish baby shower. Nothing says I can’t pay my bills than a $40,000 party for a fetus.

Money that could have been used to pay off a credit card or, oh, I don’t know, maybe pay off Dean’s ex-wife, Mary Jo Eustace, the one he left after he started schtupping the married to someone else, Tori.

See, Dean owes Mary Jo thousands of dollars in back child support for their 18-year-old son Jack, and after seeing Tori’s Instagram of the FetusFest, Mary Jo is expected to rake Dean’s ass over the coals next month in court.

But, hey, back child support, or a party for your fifth child?

Asked and answered.

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So, Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black became the Cute-Hot-New-Gay couple when they hooked up a few years ago, but maybe the newly out Tom should’a waited awhile before settling down, because, ALLEGEDLY, he’s kind of a photo-sharing, model-banging player.

See, Tom ALLEGEDLY sent a soft-core—it wasn’t hard, if you get my drift—porn video to a fan on Snapchat while, he claims, that he and Dustin were Ross-and-Rachel’ing it, i.e. they were on a break.

But he also had a bit of thing, and a couple of more things, with a model named Edward William whom he met on a London street. They started “hanging out” a year after Tom and Dustin became an item, and Edward has ALLEGEDLY “hung out” with both men several times.

But then Edward and Tom became “f**k buddies” whenever Dustin left town and for a year-and-a-half Ed was Tom’s booty call. Now, to be fair, some folks say Tom and Dustin have an open relationship so maybe Dustin knew?

But if he knew, and he saw that guy, wouldn’t he have gone off? I mean, I would ...

Edward and Tom stopped doing each other in 2015 when Tom got engaged to Dustin and Edward found a boyfriend who was less trick and more full-time.

Happy endings all around, or so it appears.

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