On This Date In ISBL History: Miss Lesbian Prom

As I am in Oregon helping my Dad recuperate from knee surgery, I thought I’d do something I’ll call “On This Date In ISBL History” and repost some things from back when the blog was new, and newish … this was originally published November 1, 2010:

It looks like it might finally be over. 

A federal judge has ordered the Itawamba County School District in Mississippi to pay $81,000 in legal fees and expenses in a lawsuit filed by Contsance McMillen, whose prom was cancelled, reinstated, then faked, all because she wanted to bring her girlfriend. 
US District Judge Glen Davidson, who ruled in March that McMillen's rights were violated, signed the order on Monday. 

Constance McMillen and the ACLU sued Itawamba County School District to challenge the district's "ban" on same-sex prom dates. Once the suit was filed, the school canceled prom. Angry parents sponsored another dance, but tricked McMillen into going to a "sham prom" while other students partied elsewhere.  

All of this because a girl wanted to bring her girlfriend to a dance.

Sidenote: the headline of the New York Times article was entitled "Judge Awards Legal Fees in Miss. Lesbian Prom Case".

I thought, There's a Miss Lesbian Prom somewhere?

Then I saw the period.

After the settlement, in a groundbreaking move for Mississippi, the school district agreed to implement policies that would prevent future discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity for extracurricular and educational activities.

McMillen’s story received national attention and Glamour magazine named her Woman of the Year Award in 2010.

She appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and received a $30,000 scholarship — in 2012 enrolled at Northeast Mississippi Community College to study psychology.

She was invited to the White House and served as Grand Marshal of the New York Gay Pride Parade.

Miss Lesbian Prom

It looks like it might finally be over.

A federal judge has ordered the Itawamba County School District in Mississippi to pay $81,000 in legal fees and expenses in a lawsuit filed by Contsance McMillen, whose prom was cancelled, reinstated, then faked, all because she wanted to bring her girlfriend.


US District Judge Glen Davidson, who ruled in March that McMillen's rights were violated, signed the order on Monday.


Constance McMillen and the ACLU sued Itawamba County School District to challenge the district's "ban" on same-sex prom dates. Once the suit was filed, the school canceled prom. Angry parents sponsored another dance, but tricked McMillen into going to a "sham prom" while other students partied elsewhere. 

All of this because a girl wanted to bring her girlfriend to a dance.

Sidenote: the headline of the New York Times article was entitled "Judge Awards Legal Fees in Miss. Lesbian Prom Case".
I thought, There's a Miss Lesbian Prom somewhere?
Then I saw the period.

source

Mississippi School That Denied Lesbian Constance McMillen Her Prom Will Change Discrimination Policy, Pay Damages

blatantly stolen verbatim from Towleroad:

Big news from Mississippi concerning one of the biggest LGBT stories of the year.

The Itawamba School District, which denied lesbian student Constance McMillen the right to attend prom with her girlfriend, has agreed to update its anti-discrimination policy to include sexual orientation and gender identity, and will pay McMillen $35,000 in damages.

Via press release from the ACLU:

Itawamba County School District officials agreed to have a judgment entered against them in the case of a recent high school graduate who sued her school for canceling the prom rather than let her attend with her girlfriend. The agreement ends a precedent-setting lawsuit brought by the American Civil Liberties Union on behalf of 18-year-old Constance McMillen, who suffered humiliation and harassment after parents, students and school officials executed a cruel plan to put on a “decoy” prom for her while the rest of her classmates were at a private prom 30 miles away.
“I’m so glad this is all over. I won’t ever get my prom back, but it’s worth it if it changes things at my school,” said McMillen, who was harassed so badly by students blaming her for the prom cancellation that she had to transfer to another high school to finish her senior year. “I hope this means that in the future students at my school will be treated fairly. I know there are students and teachers who want to start a gay-straight alliance club, and they should be able to do that without being treated like I was by the school.”
As set forth in documents filed in court today, school officials agreed to implement a policy banning discrimination or harassment on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, the first policy to do so at a public school in the state of Mississippi. The school also agreed to pay McMillen $35,000 in damages and pay for McMillen’s attorneys’ fees.
“Constance went through a great deal of harassment and humiliation simply for standing up for her rights, and she should be proud of what she has accomplished,” said Christine P. Sun, senior counsel with the ACLU Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Project. “Thanks to her bravery, we now not only have a federal court precedent that can be used to protect the rights of students all over the country to bring the date they want to their proms, but we also have the first school anti-discrimination policy of its kind in Mississippi.”
In addition to today’s legal judgment against the school, an earlier ruling in the case set an important precedent that will help prevent other students from suffering the kind of discrimination McMillen experienced. In March, the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Mississippi issued a ruling in McMillen’s case that school officials violated McMillen’s First Amendment rights when it canceled the high school prom rather than let McMillen attend with her girlfriend and wear a tuxedo.

Said Kristy L. Bennett, co-counsel on McMillen’s case: "We’re pleased that the school district agreed to be held liable for violating Constance’s rights. Now Constance can move on with her life and Itawamba school officials can show the world that they have learned a lesson about equal treatment for all students. This has been about much more than just the prom all along – it’s about all of our young people deserving to be treated fairly by the schools we trust to take care of them."
Congratulations to Constance, and thank you for your courage!

I've Seen The Future And It's Looks Like Constance McMillen

If you remember back to springtime, that was when I first wrote about Constance McMillen, a Mississippi high school senior who garnered a bit of notoriety because she wanted to take her girlfriend top prom.

Oy, such a ruckus!

In fact, it caused such havoc in Mississippi, that the Itawamba County school district cancelled the prom outright, rather then allow a lesbian attend with the date of her choice. Then, of course, we learned that the town would throw a prom, and would invite Constance, and her girlfriend. Only trouble there was that the parents, and I use the word 'parents' loosely, staged a decoy prom for a handful of exchange students, and students with disabilities, and Constance McMillen. The other students attended a prom some 30 miles away.

This might break a lot of students. I mean, think back to your high school years. Could you have tried to fight like Constance did? Would you have even tried? I know that I wasn't even out in high school, so this never would have been an issue. But Constance has prevailed, while the rest of her bigoted schoolmates, and their parents, will forever be remembered as hateful liars and deceivers.

Constance was a guest on the Ellen Degeneres Show. DeGeneres declared Constance an inspiration to all of us and presented her with a check for a $30,000 college scholarship. The funds for that scholarship came from an anonymous donor who wanted to help throw Constance a prom. McMillen didn't want a special prom, so the money was redirected to a scholarship fund.

"I know I will continue to be an activist because through all of this, I have met a lot of people. I have heard a lot of horror stories so it's really made me realize how important it is to be an activist. Because, you hear some of these stories and you are like, 'how can you not be an activist?' You know, because some of them are really heartbreaking."

Constance was a Grand Marshall in the New York City Gay Pride Parade.

"I think it's really just because of the way I have been raised. I have always been raised to stand up for myself and I have always been raised to be proud of myself — so a combination of those. I really couldn't do anything else if I was going to be true to myself."

Constance spoke at Mayor Michael Bloomberg's annual Pride Week BBQ.

"There is something special about everybody. So I think that you should embrace who you are because if everybody was the same, then the world would be very boring."

Constance counts among her admirers the President of the United States.

"I know it will change, it’s really just a matter of time because you can tell that my generation, they really don’t care so much about people being gay. You know they might be like, 'well I wouldn’t be gay because that’s wrong,' they might not think it’s OK, but they don’t really think so much about it when somebody else is gay. They just kind of go on with their life. I think that as the generations go by, there will be more and more tolerance because more people are coming out. And that’s a big thing. The more people that come out and the more cases that people hear about, the more that people will get to know gay people. Then I think that there will be more equality and eventually, simply equality."

Constance also appeared on The Wanda Sykes Show. Sykes surprised Constance with an invitation to the GLAAD Media Awards so she could present her with the Stephen F. Kolzak award.

So, while she may be just a girl, fresh from high school, Constance is well on her way to being a strong and vocal representative of the LGBT community. Perhaps the people of Itawamba County thought they could keep her down; perhaps the school district thought she'd simply follow along. But Constance McMillen won't follow, and she won't stay down.

If she's the future of the LGBT community, then it's a bright future indeed.

I Didn't Say It

Seeing as how tomorrow is the National Day Of Silence, a movement aimed at preventing anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools, I will go silent. And I would urge my other LGBT bloggers, and supporters, to do the same.

And since I'll be quiet tomorrow--and you don't know how thrilled Carlos is to hear this--I will present I Didn't Say it a day early.

Let's rip:

Dorothy Hamill, on what it means to be born a woman:
"If I hadn't been born a woman I would have certainly been gay, because I love sparkles and ruffles and color."
Um, Dottie? We know you're a friend to the LGBT community, but this little statement really stereotypes gay men; we don't all like fluffy, ruffly, colorful things any more than lesbians like plaid, Doc Martens and powertools....
They do?
Never mind.
Now, let me go back to washing my sparkly undies.
I kid. A little.

Lady GaGa, on living the celibate life:
"I can't believe I'm saying this — don't have sex. I'm single right now and I've chosen to be single because I don't have the time to get to know anybody. So it's OK not to have sex, it's OK to get to know people. I'm celibate, celibacy's fine.
It's OK to be whomever it is that you want to be. You don't have to have sex to feel good about yourself, and if you're not ready, don't do it. And if you are ready, there are free condoms given away at my concerts when you're leaving! … I remember the cool girls when I was growing up. Everyone started to have sex. But it's not really cool anymore to have sex all the time. It's cooler to be strong and independent."
Methinks GaGa will do more for abstinence than poster child, and baby mama, Bristol Palin.

Afghanistan veteran R.D. on DADT [courtesy of Joe.My.God.]:
"I had a very bad session with my workout partner tonight. He is the person I am closest to in Afghanistan yet even he knows very little about my life. He asked if I was married and I lied, telling him I was divorced. Damn. I hate lying; I can count on one hand how often I have told a lie in the past 20 years. Yet if I told him I was a never-married, 42-year-old male it would have been too risky. If I told the truth I could be fired and go home to face unemployment. Why in the world would any soldier be fired for being honest? Because I am a gay soldier and it is illegal to say so. It is illegal for me to tell not just anyone in the military but anyone in the world – my parents, my siblings – even my best friend."

Barney Frank, on Obama's lack of support on DADT:
“I’m frustrated. I’m disappointed with the administration, in part. There have been some good things. Admiral Mullen saying what he said was spectacular. And enforcing it the way it was originally supposed to--even though I didn’t like it--discharges can be cut by over 90 percent.
But there will be a vote in the House. Rep. Patrick Murphy is going to offer his amendment. I think we’ll pass it in the House and then in the Senate--I’m told by some of the Senate leadership that they don’t think they have the votes to repeal it.....[Obama's] not being for it will give people an excuse to not vote for it. Thing is--we’ve done hate crimes. We do ENDA. It’s a big agenda all at once. At this point--the President’s refusal to call for repeal this year is a problem.”

Shia LaBeouf , on drinking:
"I've been in a lot of trouble. I've been arrested a bunch of times. I fucked around for a while, so now I don't drink any more. Right now. But that's just today. Drinking is shitty for me, I don't know how to compose myself. I don't know how to drink like a gentleman. When I drink, I get crazy. I have never had a beer because I like the taste of beer. I always had a beer to get fucked up."
Hey Shia, you're getting to be a hot piece of LaBeouf, so maybe take down the boozing a notch. it might be fun, at first, but in the end, it gets ugly.
Need proof? Two words: Mel.Gibson.

Constance McMillan, posting on Facebook:
"OK whoever is targeting my classmates really need to stop. It's cruel and actually there are a lot of people including my girlfriend that have been receiving messages and having hateful things said about them just because they live in Itawamba county. There are alot of supporters that are getting harassed it shames me and actually it is just making me sad. One of my really good friends just showed up to my house crying because something was said about her. She has been supporting me through this and it is not right what yall are doing is not supporting me let ppl talk their shit about me. I dont care but this is more disgusting than what they are doing to me. I have always said to be respectful of people otherwise you dont get your message across. So yall please please if yall support me please stop doing this. Its not helping anything and it is hurting alot of innocent people."

Phil Collins, on album of Motown covers, and why he won't bring anything new to them:
"It shouldn't really be a surprise to anyone that I've finally made an album of my favourite Motown songs. These songs, along with a couple of Dusty Springfield tracks, a Phil Spector/Ronettes tune, and one by the Impressions, make up the tapestry, the backdrop, of my teenage years. I remember it as if it was yesterday, going to the Marquee Club in London's Soho and watching The Who, The Action, and many others, playing these songs. In turn I'd go out the next day to buy the original versions. My idea, though, was not to bring anything new to these already great records, but to try to recreate the sounds and feelings that I had when I first heard them. There was one moment when they were tracking (Martha Reeves & The Vandellas hit) Heat Wave that I experienced a wave of happiness and wonder that this was actually happening to me."
Hey Phil, just a thought: if I wanna hear Martha Reeves & The Vandellas Heat Wave, I'll probably listen to them, if you're not bringing anything new to it.
Just sayin'.



Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat Pray Love, on marriage equality:
"Instead of trying to 'save' the institution of marriage by excluding gay couples from matrimony, maybe it's smarter to rescue marriage by letting same-sex couples move in and gentrify the place. It's a cute argument, but it has a strong historic resonance --- every few generations, marriage opens its doors a little wider and lets in a new population who had previously been excluded, and that breathes new life into the whole institution."
Sound argument, Liz. The Gays do know how to make things pretty.

An Open Letter To The Parents And Students Of Itawamba County School District:

You must be so proud of yourselves.

You pulled a fast one, you sneaky, homophobic, bigoted, asshats.

And how you must be laughing now, that you kept The Lesbian, Constance McMillen, her date, and some of those, excuse my language, retards, from attending the prom and ruining it for your demon spawn children.

Yes, you said you'd have a prom and let Constance come. How magnanimous of you. I'll pause, while you get a dictionary and look up magnanimous. I know it's a big word. Oh, you don't have one of them dictionary word books? My bad.

We'll move on.

So, Constance thought she was getting her prom, and you'll faked her out. You and the rest of your backwoods, cousin-fucking, toothless, moonshine drinking, grade school drop-out hillbilly brethren had two proms. One for the freaks, like Constance McMillen, her date, and four or five special needs students, and one for the normal kids.

You think you outsmarted Constance.

You didn't.

She went to prom with her girlfriend, which is exactly what she wanted. And she got a prom where she wasn't ostracized or called names or shunned. She got to dance with her girlfriend.

So, who won that round

I'd say Constance, because she continues to learn more and more about the parents and students of the Itawamba County School District, and realizes she doesn't fit in there. She has a brain, and a heart, and common decency.

You, parents of Itawamba County School District, are left with hate and black hearts and children who will carry on your legacy of small-mindedness, and bigotry and homophobia. One day, when your children are grown, maybe, as you sit around the buckstove warming up some possum stew, and reading from the Good Book, you'll hear about all the great things Constance McMillen has done with her life. And you'll look around your trailer, at the empty beer cans and tins of chew, in a room filled with your own demon spawn who don't have a job and wonder who really won the fight over prom.

Constance did.

Constance Can Go!

First there was a prom and Constance McMillen asked if she could bring her girlfriend. She was told 'No' and the prom was cancelled.

Then some parents decided that would hold a "private" prom--read No Gays Allowed--and then that was cancelled because parents thought they'd get sued.

But now, the Itawamba Agricultural High School’s parent-sponsored prom is back on, and it will be held at the Fulton Country Club, the club’s manager, Stanley Ramey said. It had been originally set at another venue, but was canceled Monday night, though parents who sponsored the private prom would not say why.

Lori Byrd, who served on the bigot, I mean, parent, organizing committee that planned the canceled event, said it was called off because, "there are a lot of people involved and they don’t want to get sued."

Whatever Lori.

The good news is that Constance can go to the prom now.

Now, think for yourself, isn't this an awful lot of hullabaloo about a girl wanting to take her girlfriend to the prom? Isn't it sad that this mess came about for such a stupid reason?

It's a dance.

Have fun, Constance!

I Didn't Say It......

Constance McMillen, the lesbian student whose prom was cancelled because she wanted to wear a tuxedo and bring her girlfriend:

"Anytime I feel like this is too hard, I think about the support I'm getting. And I’m just ecstatic that so many people would come together like this. I never dreamed there could be so much support out there for me. It’s just amazing. I’m so thankful... The locals don’t like me, but I can’t help it. And things were really hostile in school last week after they cancelled prom. People were rude, and if people talked to me at all it was real short answers. There are a few people who are with me, my real friends, people who are intelligent enough to realize what's really going on here."

Henry Rollins, in Vanity Fair:

"Let the record speak for itself. The Catholic Church does not approve of homosexuality; their position on pedophilia, however, is not as clear. I am sure most Catholics do not approve of pedophilia, but the executive branch of Catholicism seems to have difficulty convincing some of us that they are willing to do what is necessary to make sure that the members of their staff who are active sexual predators are brought to justice."I can't see any sane person not wanting someone who harms innocent children taken out of circulation as soon as possible. Relocating them is tantamount to enabling them further. Maybe there should be a television show called To Catch A Priest. I'll watch. I think the expulsion of this child from the Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic School is the best break the parents could have hoped for. Children should be raised in an environment of kindness and encouragement, not discrimination and ignorance."

Florida Congressman Alan Grayson, responding to Sarah Palin's attack on him:

"As the Knave's horse says in Alice in Wonderland, 'dogs will believe anything.' I'm sure Sarah Palin knows all about politics in Central Florida, since from her porch she can see Winter Park. I look forward to an honest debate with Governor Palin on the issues, in the unlikely event that she ever learns anything about them."

Arizona GOP Senate candidate and wingnut radio host JD Hayworth, comparing same-sex marriage to horse fucking:

"You see, the Massachusetts Supreme Court, when it started this move toward same-sex marriage, actually defined marriage -- now get this -- it defined marriage as simply, 'the establishment of intimacy.' Now how dangerous is that? I mean, I don't mean to be absurd about it, but I guess I can make the point of absurdity with an absurd point -- I guess that would mean if you really had affection for your horse, I guess you could marry your horse. It's just the wrong way to go, and the only way to protect the institution of marriage is with that federal marriage amendment that I support."

Iowa Family Policy Center's Chuck Hurley, anti-gay wingnut, citing a report this week by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control that showed gay men have higher rates of HIV and syphilis:

"The Iowa Legislature outlawed smoking in an effort to improve health and reduce the medical costs that are often passed on to the state. The secondhand impacts of certain homosexual acts are arguably more destructive, and potentially more costly to society than smoking. Homosexual activity is certainly more dangerous for the individuals who engage in it than is smoking....Because of their (legislators) unwillingness to correct the error of last April’s Iowa Supreme Court opinion, the Iowa Legislature is responsible for sanctioning activities that will lead to dramatically higher rates of HIV and syphilis in Iowa."

Josh Brolin, on playing Dan White in Milk:

"To me, when I look at a character, what makes it interesting for me is: What’s the redeeming value of who the person is, and how far did they have to jump to do the awful thing that they’ve done? I’d heard the confession of Dan White, and a very revealing thing for me was, he kept saying — this was an hour and a half after after he killed Harvey Milk and Mayor Moscone. His fingertips were very hot. He remembers, from one shooting to the other, from walking across the City Hall, from Moscone's office to Harvey's office, that his fingertips were, uh, hot. I thought that was an interesting thing...I don’t like killing, as an actor. When I shot Sean Penn’s character in 'Milk,' there was a lot of joking going on at the moment because we couldn’t deal with the intensity of it. I would much rather be the person dying than the person killing."

Archbishop Desmond Tutu on hate:

"Hate has no place in the house of God. No one should be excluded from our love, our compassion or our concern because of race or gender, faith or ethnicity -- or because of their sexual orientation. Nor should anyone be excluded from health care on any of these grounds."

GLAAD President Jarrett Barrios on the cancellation of a gay storyline on One Life to Live:

“Last summer, One Life to Live brought a ground-breaking relationship into the homes of millions with Kyle and Fish’s story, one that built acceptance and understanding of gay people,. While we understand that the close of storylines is a frequent occurrence on daytime dramas, canceling this story just as it gains momentum is a step backward in ABC Daytime’s representation of the lives of gay Americans.”

Johnny Weir, on reports that the 'Stars on Ice Tour' is refusing to invite him:

“It’s for real. All because I am not family friendly enough. I understand I am a little outrageous but I wish I could perform for the fans...Maybe right now, just artistically and creatively, I’d love to have my own show, with musical acts, like maybe getting Lady Gaga! I don’t like to think there are any boundaries. Anytime you get men in glitter it’s flamboyant!”

Archbishop Charles Chaput, defending the Colorado school that denied re-enrollment to a boy because he has two mommies:

"The Church does not claim that people with a homosexual orientation are 'bad,' or that their children are less loved by God. Quite the opposite. But what the Church does teach is that sexual intimacy by anyone outside marriage is wrong; that marriage is a sacramental covenant; and that marriage can only occur between a man and a woman. These beliefs are central to a Catholic understanding of human nature, family and happiness, and the organization of society. The Church cannot change these teachings because, in the faith of Catholics, they are the teachings of Jesus Christ. [He added people with a different understanding of marriage and family life] have other, excellent options for education and should see in them the better course for their children."

All She Wants To Do Is Dance

Constance McMillen attends high school in Mississippi. And like most high school girls she was looking forward to the prom; for the chance to bring her date to the dance and have a good time with all her friends. Unfortunately, for Constance, her date was to be another girl, and the school wouldn't have it. Rather than allowing her the right to attend the prom, wearing a tuxedo, and with her girlfriend, the school district cancelled her senior prom.

Yes, punish everyone, because there are lesbians at prom.

The decision to cancel the prom came after the American Civil Liberties Union [ACLU] demanded that officials change a policy banning same-sex prom dates because it violated the students' rights; the ACLU added that, in not letting McMillen wear a tuxedo, they were also violating her free expression rights. The ACLU filed a lawsuit in U.S. District Court in Oxford to force the school district to sponsor the prom and allow McMillen to bring whom she chooses and wear what she wants.

Didn't happen, though McMillen said she never expected the district to respond the way it did. "A lot of people said that was going to happen, but I said, they had already spent too much money on the prom" to cancel it, she said. "I'm just trying to get done what I originally wanted done. Now, we're having to fight just to have a prom."

McMillen said she didn't want to go back to Itawamba County Agricultural High School after the school board's decision, but her father told her she needed to face her classmates, teachers and school officials. "My daddy told me that I needed to show them that I'm still proud of who I am," McMillen said in an interview. "The fact that this will help people later on, that's what's helping me to go on."

Well, I'm proud of you, too, Constance. For standing up for your rights, and the rights of every LGBT student. We have to start the fight somewhere, and, at least in Mississippi, it starts at the prom.