I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

Y'all might remember that back in August, Matthew Fox got freakin' drunk in Cleveland, and thought he might hitch a ride on a private party bus. Allegedly. Unfortunately for Matt, the party bus driver, one Heather Bormann, tried to stop him because, well, it was a private bus, rented out for a specific group of customers.

That's went things ALLEGEDLY turned ugly.

Bormann claims that as she attempting to get Matthew Fox off of her bus, he began punching her in the stomach, the legs, the boobs and, um, yeah, the vagina. Now, Heather wasn't one just to sit back and take a vah-jay-jay pummeling, so she fought back.....in self-defense. The police were called, stories told, and, Matthew Fox was arrested and formally charged with assault on Bormann.

Now, it gets even more odd.

Matthew Fox is suing his ALLEGED victim because she told the entire world that the former Lost star punched her in the cooch. And he says he never punched her....there. Fox ALLEGES his countersuit that Bormann is a liar, and that she's the one who attacked him.

And Fox is claiming that, due of her allegations, he has lost work because TMZ and other media outlets have reported her lawsuit, and she has subjected him to “public hatred, contempt, ridicule and shame.”

Nope, I think it was the alcohol that did that Matt.

Maybe you oughta sue Jim Beam, or Jack Daniels.

Lohan's week. Court. Sentencing. Playboy. Jail. Leonardo DiCaprio's house.

One of these things did not exactly welcome the cracktress.

After being given a week to finish her "work"--and by work, I mean sharing her ladybits in Playboy--Lindsay decided it was time to celebrate.

After the Hollywood premiere of J.Edgar there was to be a gathering of A-list stars, the cast and Clint Eastwood-supporters and friends, and poor crazy, drug-addled, alcohol-infused Lohan thought this meant her.

Wrong!

When convicted criminal Lindsay Lohan crashed the party for Leonardo DiCaprio’s movie, all the A-list stars instantly became “uncomfortable” because , well, she's Lohan, and a jailbird, and crazy. But Lohan, still drinking the "Hey! I'm famous!" Kool-Aid, insisted she was an invited guest and talked, or pistol-whipped, her way past security at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel party.

A source--and by source, I mean any number of people who looked at her and muttered, 'Who invited the crackhead?'--says, “Lindsay was arguing with the security to let her in, dropping every celebrity’s name to get in. She could be heard saying, ‘I have to go and see Leo.’ Eventually they let her in, but she made everybody uncomfortable. She was aggressive and random, storming around. She tried to get to Leo, but he was surrounded by his security and a posse of his friends. Clint and Leo and Dustin Lance Black were talking, and Lindsay sent one of her aides over, demanding to get a photo with them, but security shooed them away.”

Lohan’s rep--and that means Dina--says, “She did not crash, she was invited by a guest who attended the event."

No doubt a cater-waiter with a stolen prescription med pad.


File this under Ashton Kutcher Is A Fame-Addled Douchenozzle
Like we didn't already know that. But, like his inability to keep his pants zipped when they're are horny blondes and hot tubs around, Ashton has a hard time keeping his lips zipped about things he does not understand.

See, when all this child raping, Penn State scandal broke, Ashton took to Twitter--because he's addicted to it--to actually defend Joe Paterno. But then, the many moronic minions who followed him suddenly turned on him and fully explained why Paterno was being fired and Ashton deleted all his pro-Paterno Tweets.
And now he has apparently decided that he needs to protect his image and will filter his inane Twit-Ramblings through a series of managers and agents who have more than one collective brain cell before he releases any more Tweets, saying:
"Up until today I have posted virtually every one of my tweets on my own, but clearly the platform has become to big to be managed by a single individual. When I started using twitter it was a communication platform that people could say what they are thinking in real time and if their facts where wrong the community would quickly and helpfully reframe an opinion. It was a conversation, a community driven education tool, and opinion center that encouraged healthy debate. It seems that today that twitter has grown into a mass publishing platform, where ones tweets quickly become news that is broadcasted [sic] around the world and misinformation becomes volatile fodder for critics."
Um Ashton, you cheating loser? The misinformation was of your own doing. Maybe you should stop ALLEGEDLY schtupping starlets, stop wheeling Grandma Demi down the red carper, and stop Tweeting until you've actually read a newspaper story.
That is, assuming you know how to read.



Well, after having another TV show cancelled out from under her, and realizing that no TV network would hire her because she's a clod-hopping-fame-whoring-yahoo, Kate Gosselin went and got herself one of those "mediocre" jobs like her ex-husband.
She.Clips.Coupons.

Yup, I-H8-K8 took a "regular" job as a coupon blogger for a company called Coupon Cabin. No doubt they hired the media-slut because they could use the publicity; I mean, has anyone heard of Coupon Cabin until just now?
And, in keeping with whoring herself out, and having others whore her out, the company released a videoworks there. In that just-released video clip, Gosselin is shown settling in with the crew by brainstorming money-saving ideas for her first blog post.
Kate Gosselin? Brain? Brainstorming? That's high-larious!
But what's even funnier is the Tweet K8 sent out to her Twitter follower: “Another day, another city! I love my job! Coupons and saving excite me!! Yay!!!”
Ya! Now, if they just just stop posting videos of her and she can quietly do her job and never be heard from again....I laugh, because once a child-pimping,camera-hogging-clod-hopping-fame-whore, always a child-pimping,camera-hogging-clod-hopping-fame-whore.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But....

Shia LaBeouf--which I believe is french for Timid Piece Of meat--was ALLEGEDLY involved in a meltdown at LA hotspot The Box in which he ALLEGEDLY spit water at shock rocker Marilyn Manson.
According to witnesses--and by witnesses, I mean people who got sprayed with Shia water--LaBeouf suddenly became angry with his date while at the club and began shouting at her.
A witness said--while drying off-- that “Shia picked up a water bottle and shot a mouthful of water all over his date’s legs. Then he put more water in his mouth and started spitting it all over his tablemates, including Marilyn Manson.”
Did he think Manson would melt? I dunno, but Manson ALLEGEDLY remained seated during the unwelcome bath, and even tried to calm Shia down, but LaBeouf, who folks say "seemed wasted”--ya think?--insisted on “lunging” through the crowd to escape the venue.
A drenched onlooker said, “Shia had to climb over people and tear himself out of he grasp of various strangers who were trying to keep him from going crazy. It was totally mad. They had a verbal spat and the next thing you know Shia went for him. He was a bit tipsy and Marilyn was having none of it and towered over him. Security jumped in and Shia left the party quickly. It was all very weird.”
Perhaps LaBeouf ought to "transform" himself--Get it? He starred in those Transformer movies so I said transf....okay, I'll stop--into a non-drinker.

I think I'll call this The Battle Of The Bobble Heads.
The adulterous country crooner LeAnn Rimes and annoying E host Giuliana Rancic are locked in a battle of dimwits over remarks made to and about one another, on TV and on Twitter.

It seems that Rancic--who has ALLEGEDLY had some very well documented body image issues and eating disorders--recently told the Huffington Post that LeAnn Rimes was a little too bony: "She lost a lot of weight from all the stress in her life. She seems a little thin right now and I think she looks great when she’s a bit curvier.” Rancic suggested LeAnn get some meat on her frame.
Hey, i thought Eddie Cibrian was the meat on her frame!
Anyway, Rancid, er, Rancic, should know better than to criticize a thin girl when she wept and moaned about people talking about her skeletal body. And Rimes wasn't having it either. She picked up a phone and called Rancic....Oh.....She didn't call? Nope, as with all feuds, Rimes took to the Twitter to tell Giuliana Rancic that she does so eat and that they should share a meal together so she could prove it.
And, to be fair, by meal, she meant grape.
Rimes wrote, “@GiulianaRancic hey, we should go to dinner sometime. You get criticized all the time for how small you are. You can see just HOW much I eat and maybe put a stop to this crazy ‘shrinking’ once and for all...Then we should workout together! Good luck with your restaurant!!!!”
Then, one of Rimes followers--Giuliana Rancic in disguise, I imagine--asked LeAnn to clarify her comments, and Rimes softened a little--well, as much as a bag of bones can soften--and replied: “I just don’t appreciate her comments, so I really would love for her to hang with me, see who I am...I am a person you know.”
Well, maybe just half-a-person, really.
But you stick Rimes and Rancic together you might get a whole person.

What to do when your hit show ends it's run?
Well, if you are former "Lost" actor Matthew Fox, you get yourself arrested for ALLEGEDLY punching the female bus driver of a party bus.

It seems that upon leaving a Cleveland bar last weekend, and heading back to his hotel, Fox tried to board a party bus. When the driver, one Heather Bormann, refused to allow him access, Fox ALLEGEDLY began hitting Bormann in the chest and stomach.
But not to be outdone, and not afraid of some TV star, Heather Bormann reciprocated, landing several blows to Matthew Fox's face--breaking her hand in the process.
People! How many time must I tell you to NEVER mess with a Cleveland party bus driver? Especially if that driver is Heather Bormann. If I've said it once, I've said it enough.
Following his arrest, Fox was released into the custody of a friend. Heather Bormann, on the other hand, visited a hospital, and then told reporters, "This was my self-defense. This was the only way I could protect myself ... from a man beating up on a woman."
Bormann has yet to press charges against Fox.
Sidenote: Had I been on that party bus last weekend and a drunk Matthew Fox tried to get on board, i would have skooched over in my seat and said, "Here honey, sit next to me."
It's a fact, every straight man is a six-pack of beer--or less--away from being gay.
Just sayin'.

So, a month or so ago Jennifer Lopez was spotted out and about without her lapdog, Marc Anthony, and without her wedding ring as well. And then the couple announced they were getting divorced. Rumors swirled that Marc was too controlling or that JLo couldn't keep it in her pants--or maybe that's out of her pants--though the ex-couple denies both allegations.
Then, just last week rumors swirled that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett were quietly separating, and headed for divorce as well.

How do these two things mesh? Well, ALLEGEDLY Will “caught” Jada doing the dirty with Marc Anthony--who costars with Pinkett on something called 'HawthoRNe'--while Marc was still married to Lopez.
To be fair, Will and Jada are denying the report, telling the world that their marriage is still “intact” and there is speculation that Mr. and Mrs. Smith will sue. But apparently Life & Style isn’t afraid of the Smiths because they’ve got another story about Jada and Marc getting “close”.
An insider--and by insider I mean a gopher on the set of something called 'HawthoRNe'--says: “[Marc] and Jada got extremely close on the set...He said Jada was so sexy because she was in great shape and had this tough attitude, which he loves. And she loved his style — his acting, his mojo. She even brought Marc back as a series regular and made him the show’s music producer. Jennifer couldn’t have liked that.”
Hence the dumping, I guess.
But what about Will and Jada, and her ALLEGEDLY romping with Marc? Well, the Smiths seem to have a relatively open marriage, even by their own statements, so maybe Jada and Marc doing the nasty is just all part of a normal day for the Smiths.
But, and this is where it gets interesting, just this week Jada Pinkett was spotted out without Will or her wedding ring.
Coincidence?
Ask JLo and Marc.