I Ain;t One To Gossip But ...

A while back on this here blog, we talked about how Emily Ratajkowski’s husband, Sebastian Bear-McClard refused to pay rent on his Bleecker Street apartment in NYC because of a “loft law” which was meant to protect starving artists.

Sebastian moved into the apartment in 2013 and was paying $4,200 a month, and when the rent went up in 2017, as they do, to $4900 a month. Sebastian decided that was just too much and so he stopped paying and filed an application to register the apartment under the city’s loft law.

And then his wife entered the picture and actually called her squatter husband a freedom fighter who was standing against the fat-cats of Wall Street …cuz people who can afford $4200 a month in rent are the ‘little’ people. Anyway, Antoni Ghosh, who  doesn’t own the building but rents five of the six units and sublets them out, including the one to Mister and Missus Squatter, filed a lawsuit against the couple for $250,000 in damages and back rent.  Ghosh said that because Sebastian wasn’t paying rent, he had to pay $23,000 a month of his own money to the building’s owner Rogers Investments.

But in a weird twist, Rogers Investments actually paid Sebastian and Emily Squatter to leave the building and the couple took the money and left in October … moving back into their $2 million home in Los Angeles … like most starving artists. 

Yeah, they really stuck it to the fat cats.

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And speaking of cats, er, Cats, those of you waiting to see Cats might wanna wait a minute and see Cats 2. Not a sequel, per se, but a second version of the film because the one that opened to terrible reviews and horrid box office—it made $6.5 million over the weekend in comparison to Stars Wars taking in $200 million—wasn’t actually finished when it opened and director Tom Hooper was still working on the visual effects. So, theaters have been given a new version of the film.

Working Title produced the star-studded Christmas film, which cost roughly $100 million to make, and yet couldn’t wait for the finished product to hit theaters and released an incomplete film, with horrible edits and laughable CGI effects like …

Dame Judi Dench’s cat character has human hands like she was some sort of bestiality experiment between man and feline gone terribly wrong.

Rebel Wilson’s cat character had fur covered human breasts.

Jennifer Hudson Grizabella appeared to have her face melt during the showstopper Memory.

And Taylor Swift … was in it, the most egregious thing ever! Just sayin’.

And now they want to handful of people who saw the mess won opening weekend pay to see the altered mess again.

Cats may have nine lives, but this film shouldn’t have even had one.

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If you ever thought that Hollywood was a small, incestuous little town, here’s yet another example … the Original Bennifer—not that tired JLo-Affleck mess—might be getting back together?

It might just be that Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt, whose break-up filled that celebrity gossip cycle about Sad Lonely Jen may be flirting with one another.

Or maybe flirting with us? After his breakup with Angelina Jolie, Brad and Jen ALLEGEDLY began talking again, and then he was a guest at her birthday party which meant they were Friends again. And that spiraled into Brad talking about how he handled breaking up with Jen for Angelina, and then Jennifer and Justin Theroux broke up.

Two + Two – Two = Bennifer 2.0?

Personally, I’d rather see hotter-than-hot sexy couple Justin Theroux and Angelina hook-up. But that’s just me.

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This story kills me … one Vicki Gunvalson, AKA the O.G. of the OC AKA RGOC AKA Real Housewives of Orange County wants new housewife Braunwyn Windham-Burke off the show after a season of debauchery, girls kissing, threesome thoughts and boob flashing.

Gunvalson, who was reduced to a “friend” status for the current season, was part—small part—of the sat down for the third part of the reunion and demanded that Windham-Burke change her behavior if she wanted to stay on the show:

“I don’t like the kissing [girls]. I don’t like the nakedness. I’m sorry. I don’t. I think it’s disrespectful.”

She was mostly angry …read jealous … about the times that Braunwyn made out with her BFF Tamra Judge. And Braunwyn wasn’t there for Vicki:

“Just because I choose to kiss women doesn’t make me classless.”

Gunvalson shrieked:

“Do it off camera. Fifteen years, I started this show. We don’t do that. Turn it down, Braunwyn … Get off the show. Let’s elevate. I lost two clients last month because of these shenanigans … They said it doesn’t meet their moral compass. We have kids watching this!”

Meanwhile, host Andy Cohen was confused as to why kids would be watching reality trash and then pointed out several things about Grandma Vicki …

Like the time a few seasons back when she bared her own breasts on camera.

Like the time she demonstrated how to give a blow job on camera.

Like the time she got so drunk in Mexico she pissed her pants.

Like the time she kissed fellow Housewife Shannon Beador.

Gunvalson doesn’t want Braunwyn off the show, she wants her to stop treading in her spot … getting drunk and acting the fool on TV.

Trouble is Braunwyn is 42 and Vicki is old enough to be her mother. The OG needs to settle and get back on her meds.

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If anyone knows Home Alone 2: Lost In New York, the sequel to 1990’s Home Alone, you know it was a crappy film … basically a rehash of the first film in a new location …but with ALLEGED billionaire Donald ____ in a cameo.

Well, this year the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation’s [CBC] broadcast of Home Alone 2 but had to edit the film for time allowed and they deleted _____’s cameo. Cue Presidential Tweet-storm. No, seriously, he was pissy about the deletion and took his rage to Twitter:

“I guess Justin T doesn’t much like my making him pay up on NATO or Trade!”

Seriously, the President of the United States of America thinks the Prime Minister of Canada ordered his cameo in a nearly thirty-year-old movie deleted?

And then Little Man _____waded into the fray because Daddy loves Ivanka more and he’s trying to score points:

“‘Pathetic’: Canada’s CBC under fire when Trump’s cameo in ‘Home Alone 2’ disappears from Christmas broadcast.”

Hasn’t he got endangered sheep to kill while they’re sleeping?

The CBC responded with its own statement:

“As is often the case with feature films adapted for television, Home Alone 2 was edited for time. The scene with Donald _____ was one of several that were cut from the movie as none of them were integral to the plot. These edits were done in 2014 when we first acquired the film and before Mr. _____ was elected President.”

Yes, the edits are five years old, but someone is so desperate, in light of IMPEACHMENT, he has to make everything a plot against him that he screeched about this now.

Still, I’m with Canada … _____ is not integral to the plot …of anything.

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I Ain't One To Gossip, But ...

Emily Ratajkowski has bad taste is men, both professionally, and personally. I mean, she was in the same room, and on camera no less, with slimy Robin Thicke, in the Skinemax video for ‘Blurred Lines’ and she has a husband who’s a self-entitled scumbag tool.

Emily is being threatened with eviction from her Manhattan loft because her millionaire husband, filmmaker Sebastian Bear-McClard, doesn’t think he should have to pay rent like everybody else.

It seems  Sebastian has been subletting an apartment in NoHo since 2013 but when that lease expired two years ago, he began using a legal loophole meant as an excuse for not paying a dime in rent since then. Yes, millionaire can’t pay the rent!

Bear-McClard, who’s worth an estimated $12 million, has stiffed the landlord out of $120,000 a month since 2017, claiming protection under the state’s Loft Law, a 1982 state law that was enacted to protect “artists and other low-income tenants” who “lived illegally in commercial loft spaces” against eviction.

And since the millionaire’s loft doesn’t currently have a “certificate of occupancy” it falls under this protection and so the millionaire, who claims he an artiste, says he doesn’t have to pay rent.

A millionaire.

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Last week we talked Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Danielle Staub, whose divorce from fourth husband, and 21st fiancé, was being finalized so she could marry fifth husband and 22nd fiancé Oliver Maier.

Oops, not so fast; the loving couple, who’ve been together about eight weeks, have decided to split.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that Oliver was originally reported to be the Duke of Provence, but news outlets learned this week that this title that does not actually exist.

Oh, so Danielle couldn’t be a Duchess, so she’ll just stick with “prostitution whore”.

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If this doesn’t count as cruel and unusual planet, for the entire planet, I don’t know what does.

Kanye’s contract with EMI says he is legally bound to keep coming out with new material for the rest of his life. Damn, a lifetime of work? Who cares about climate change, Kanye’s gonna be recording forever!

Unless he wins the lawsuit he filed using the Olivia de Havilland argument … not the one about Ryan Murphy making her look bad on TV, but the one that freed her from Warner Bros. in the 1940s after they kept extending her contract after she refused to take on roles. Olivia made it where work contracts in California are limited to just seven years.

Using that argument, Kanye says his EMI time was up in 2010 and he wants the rights to all the music he made since then because, per the Olivia law, those tracks may not necessarily be EMI’s.

Of note, is that Kanye married Kim Kardastrophe in 2014, so right about 2021, he’ll probably sue to get out of that contract, too.

But, until then I’ll think of him as Kanye de Haviland.

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Khloé Kardastrophe has decided to talk about her cheating Baby Daddy because, well, she has a TV show to promote. And That Woman will sell anything, porn videos, the souls of the unborn, her children’s privacy, to make a few coins.

And so Khloé picked up the phone to vent to her BFF—and by BFF, I mean the media—and told People magazine:

“This has been an awful week and I know everyone is sick of hearing about it all, as am I. I’m a rollercoaster of emotions and have said things I shouldn’t have. Honestly, Tristan cheating on me and humiliating me, wasn’t such a shock as the first time.”

I wonder if Khloé thinks it might have been a shock for Tristan’s other Baby Mama when he cheated on her with Khloé; but that girl doesn’t have a TV show so …

Take a seat, Khloé, you’re not new and you’re not special.

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Gwyneth Paltrow is back to remind all of us again that she has created everything, and we wouldn’t like anything at all if she didn’t like it, or :::cough::: invent it, herself. Remember, Paltrow ALLEGED she invented yoga cuz, you know, she’s that old. But now she’s talking more PaltrowShiz™ again … like how she can see  into the future:

“When we talk about something that is incendiary, I always see in six months other people starting to write about it, and 18 months later, businesses popping up around it. It’s always confirmation to me that we’re on the right track. I mean, when I did my gluten-free cookbook in 2015, the press was super negative and there were personal attacks about what I was feeding my children and what kind of mother I am. Now the gluten-free market is huge.”

Yes, she invented gluten-free, and now everyone’s doing it! But wait, there’s more … howsabout the “conscious uncoupling”:

“People were like, ‘This is insane, you’re crazy.’ And now it’s sort of talked about as a thing that people think might be possible for them.”

Um, Gwyneth, you sanctimonious prig; people have been consciously uncoupling for eons, but they just called it getting along for the sake of the children. You slap a label on something and suddenly it’s a Gwyneth Paltrow Production.

But now Gwyneth wants you to know that psychedelic drugs are the next big thing:

“I think how psychedelics affect health and mental health and addiction will come more into the mainstream.”

Seriously? And when will she invent them?

Sidenote: and this has nothing to do with Gwyneth becoming an LSD dealer, but her new mouthful of shiz spewed forth right about the same time that Martha Stewart announced she was getting into the weed business.

Martha does weed, so GOOP sells drugs.

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