I Didn't Say It ... The GOP Comes For Their Own But Is It Too Little Too Late?

Thom Tillis, GOP Senator from North Carolina, blasting #MoscowMarge in a leaked audio recording:

“I think she is uninformed, she is a total waste of time, and I’m embarrassed to have actually lived geographically in her district at one time before she was there. She is a horrible leader. She is dragging our brand down. She, not the Democrats, are the biggest risk to us getting back to a majority.”

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Tony Gonzales, GOP Representative from Texas, on CNN’s State Of The Union, on GOP scumbags in Congress:

“I served 20 years in the military. It’s my absolute honor to be in Congress, but I serve with some real scumbags! Matt Gaetz, he paid minors to have sex with him at drug parties. Bob Good endorsed my opponent, a known neo-Nazi. These people used to walk around with white hoods at night. Now they’re walking around with white hoods in the daytime. Look, it didn’t surprise me that some of these folks voted against aid to Israel, but I was encouraged to see by a nearly 10-to-1 mark that Republicans supported our allies on the battlefield.”

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Mike Lawler, New York Republican Representative, on the move by Matt Gaetz and other pissy Republicans trying to oust Mike Johnson as Speaker:

“Some of these folks have nobody to blame but themselves for why Speaker Johnson’s hand in negotiations has been weakened. I look at this very simply. In October, the House was thrown into chaos by Matt Gaetz and seven useful idiots that teamed up with him within the Republican Conference and 208 Democrats. And at this moment, when you see what happened in the aftermath of vacating the chair and Israel attacked in a terrorist attack a week later, to do that again would be detrimental to the country and global security.”

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Dan Crenshaw, Texas GOP Representative, also taking on the pissy  GOP bitches in Congress;

“I guess their reasoning is they want Russia to win so badly that they want to oust the Speaker over it. I mean that’s a strange position to take. I think they want to be in the minority too. I think that’s an obvious reality. I’m still trying to process all the bullshit. To be clear, he’s being threatened for even allowing a vote to come to the floor. For allowing the constitutional process to play out as intended by our Founders. That’s a wild thing to consider, especially when his enemies consider themselves ‘conservative.’ Not conserving the painstaking constitutional process our Founders created, that’s for sure. Conserving Putin’s gains on the battlefield, more like it.”

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James Lankford, GOP Senator from Oklahoma, agreeing with Fox host Neil Cavuto that the border crisis is the fault of Hair Furor:

“It was and it is painful to be able to watch. It got stirred up in all the presidential politics and several of my colleagues started looking for ways after President Trump said, ‘Don’t fix anything during the presidential election. It’s the single biggest issue during the election, don’t resolve this, we’ll resolve it next year.’ Quite a few of my colleagues backed up and looked for a reason to be able to shoot against it and then walked away. My issue is if we’re pursuing everything, we very often end up with nothing. If we’re pursuing someone coming later to fix it, later seems to never come. When we have a moment to fix things, we should fix as many things as we can, then come back later and fix the rest. He’s got an office that he’s running for. He’s got a campaign that he’s running, I’m already in office, I’ve got a responsibility to be able to carry on this.”

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But here’s the problem: too little too late.

While you may be speaking out against the asshats in your party now, where were these conversations last year or the year before. Gaetz and Greene have been idiots and disgraces in Congress but y’all said nothing because you had a majority. Y’all knew hair Furor was trying to sabotage a border deal to make Biden look bad but the only people with egg on their faces are members of the GOP who goose-stepped along with him.

Thanks for speaking up, but now you should try to act up.

I Didn't Say It ...

John Cena, actor, wrestler, hot man, on supporting his gay brother Steve Cena:

“My brother was like a true nerd, and this is at the height of the 1980s, like Revenge of the Nerds. [But] our town wasn’t yet at the Revenge of the Nerds sort of state. Life was tough for my brother in high school. Not only was he an introvert and interested in computers. He’s also gay. And being gay in the 1980s in a small town in Massachusetts … man, that’s an uphill climb. He just had a lot of character traits that weren’t in the ‘cool kid’ group, and he’s also holding this secret that he can’t tell or talk to anybody about. I really feel for what it must have been like for him growing up. But I also inherited that chapter of his social constructs. And, man, it got me to learn how to lose a few fights [laughs]. That sort of behavior [of feeling protective of my older brother] started like at 10 years old for me. I don’t think I understood what was going on. Kids are harsh. They form cliques real fast. And we always just hung out with each other. There was enough of us to have a basketball team, which means we could do whatever we want. We want to play football or baseball, there’s enough of us. So we didn’t feel [that] we needed anybody else … If we could make it through school and get back to the house, all is fine. [I] took on the role of, ‘Hey, if you say something to [my] brothers, I will do my best to throw myself in harm’s way. It’s going to stop here.’”

Without missing a beat, Cena shut down all of those problematic questions about his older brother being gay. This would’ve already been a great display of allyship in 2024 but twenty-plus years ago it was an even bigger deal.

Hot. Smart. LGBTQ+ Ally; what’s not to love?

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Ken Buck, recently retired GOP Congressman from Colorado, taking Large Marge to CNN:

“My experience with Marjorie [Taylor Greene] is, people have talked to her about not filing articles of impeachment on President Biden before he was sworn into office, on not filing articles of impeachment that were groundless made on other individuals in the Biden administration. And she was never moved by that. She was always focused on her social media account. And Moscow Marjorie is focused now on this Ukraine issue and getting her talking points from the Kremlin and making sure that she is popular and she is getting a lot of coverage.”

Marjorie wants attention so give her attention by voting her overwhelmingly out of office.

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Jesse Watters, Fox “News” host, saying there is no difference between being gay and being transgender:

“We adopted a young child, and at age five, he was playing with dolls, and everybody knew he was gay, or was going to be gay. And it’s not like all of a sudden we took him to the doctor and chopped him off. No one would ever do that … A lot of these people are just gay—or lesbian,” and what they’re doing is they’re intervening in a regular gay or lesbian life, and that’s a new experience, and it never used to be like that.”

Yes, parents of boys who play with dolls take their boys to doctors and have them castrated.

This has got to be the biggest idiot on Fox News, and consider their stable of morons that’s saying something.

Oh, and Jesse doesn’t have an adopted son; he has four biological children, two each from his two wives, and I hope none of them appear gender fluid lest Jesse start castrating them if they’re boys, or forcing his daughters to have phalloplasty if they’re Tomboys.

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Oliver Stark, actor on 9-1-1, clapping back at online trolls upset over his character Buck’s queer storyline:

“Humbled and overwhelmed by the positive reaction to Buck’s storyline. I’ve read so many of your messages, and I couldn’t be prouder. [But] if you are one of the smaller group of people commenting on my posts about how this has ruined the show. I would like you to know that I truly don’t care. This is a show about love and inclusion. It’s featured queer relationships from the very beginning, including a beautiful Black lesbian marriage played out by two of the best actresses I’ve ever watched. If one other character finds a new facet to his sexuality and realizing his bisexuality is your deal breaker—I fear you’ve missed the entire point of the show. [This] new arc is a really nice gift: the opportunity to delve into this storyline, to be involved in telling it. I feel very proud of the work and just to be a part of it.”

Love is love is love. And if you don’t get that, turn off the TV, get back into your cave, and STFU.

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Dan Crenshaw, GOP Congressman from Texas, dismantling Tucker Carlson:

“This is who Tucker is: a click-chaser. Tucker’s MO is simple: defend America’s enemies and attack America’s allies. There isn’t an objective bone left in that washed up news host’s body. Mindless contrarianism is his guiding principle, buttressed by his childish tactic to ‘juSt aSK quEsTiOns!’ But any educated adult, especially one with such a long career in journalism, should occasionally try answering some of those questions objectively. But he never does. Instead, he uses his platform to sow doubt and paranoia and false narratives. He does this for one simple reason: clicks and engagement, which of course translate to monetary benefit. He wants you to believe he is the last place you can go to for truth, that he’s the ONLY one brave enough to reveal the elitist lies being told. This nonsense about Christian mistreatment in Israel is just the latest example. Tucker will eventually fade into nothingness, because his veneer of faux intellectualism is quickly falling apart and revealing who he truly is: a cowardly, know-nothing elitist who is full of shit.”

Wow, when the GOP starts coming for one of their staunchest allies, the party seems likely to crumble. Still, I’ll sit with my popcorn and watch this car wreck.

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Jamie Raskin, Democrat Congressman from Maryland, shutting down a GOP colleague who claimed the Founding Fathers never anticipated this level of undocumented immigrants at the border:

“There was no immigration  law when the Constitution was adopted. In fact, the only illegals in the country, at least according to the Native [American] population, were the people writing the Constitution.”

The GOP likes to pretend that white people were here first but we were, and are, immigrants and the descendants of immigrants in this country.

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I Didn't Say It

Dan Crenshaw, Texas GOP Congressman, jumped on the Boycott Bud Light bandwagon in a video and showed us all that he’s just another clueless fool:

“Saw Bud Light’s stupid ad campaign, so guess what we’re going to do? We’re going to throw out every single Bud Light we’ve got in the fridge. Alright, well I guess that was easy.”

Oops, no Bud Light in the fridge to throw out because it was filled with Karbach beer … owned by Bud Light parent company Anheuser-Busch.

I was gonna make a joke about the eye patch hindering his ability to see his own ignorance, but I won’t.

Oops.

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Ron DeSantis, on being Bitch Slapped by Mickey:

“Now that the Disney has reopened this issue we’re not just going to void the development agreement they tried to do. We’re going to look at things, like taxes on the hotels, we’re going to look at things like tolls on the roads, we’re going to look at things like developing some of the property that the district owns. They are not superior to the people of Florida. So come hell or high water we’re going to make sure that policy of Florida carries the day. They can keep trying to do things. But ultimately we’re going to win on every single issue involving Disney, I can tell you that.”

Let me allow the Orlando Sentinel to respond, as they did in an editorial this week, asking DeSantis to go back to:

“Running a massive state government where people are dying every day of drug overdoses and mass shootings that you barely acknowledge. Where school boards across the state are grimly awaiting the final price tag of the economically reckless voucher bill you just signed. Where insurance rates are skyrocketing and damage claims from back-to-back hurricanes are being summarily denied. Where, every day, we’re discovering more cracks your machinations have inflicted on the fundamental integrity of Florida’s own government. If Disney executives had responded to DeSantis in the same vengeful vein—by pulling back even a small fraction of the resources the company has invested in Florida—the economic wreckage could have been massive.”

Then the paper Disney’s response to DeSantis “elegant and witty” and said, if anything, DeSantis has created a “situation where Disney has more control, and potentially more secrecy, than it ever did.”

Snap.

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Lindsey Graham, confirmed bachelor, lying about pro-choice Democrats on Fox News … again:

“I’m very pro-life, and I think being pro-life is a winning message. I oppose late-term abortions. I have a bill to set a national minimum standard of 15 weeks. 50 of the 53 European nations ban abortion at 15 weeks. I have an exception for rape, incest, and life of the mother. … The Democratic solution when it comes to abortion is taxpayer-funded abortion up to the moment of birth. That’s barbaric. That’s like China. That’s like North Korea. We can win this issue at the ballot box if we show up with reasonable positions.”

You can’t win, ma’am, because you’re a pandering lying twazcock.

Pro-life isn’t a winning message; allowing women to make their own choices about their own bodies and their own healthcare without the input of an ambiguously—well not so much—gay, lifelong bachelor is a winning message.

Look at Wisconsin, dumbass.

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Will Cain, Fox & Friends host, lying about that protest by Democrats in the Tennessee statehouse:

“I’m listening to President Biden, and I’m just trying to understand—and I’m going to feign some inability to understand this because I fully get that the use of protecting democracy or accusing something of being undemocratic is just a proxy for ‘I want you to lose.’ So during January 6th, people condemn-ably rioted and stormed the Capitol and it is described as undemocratic. In Tennessee, people stormed the Capitol, interrupted the democratic process, and used bullhorns. And if you punish them, that’s undemocratic. It’s undemocratic as long as it is in disfavor with Joe Biden.”

Will? You’re an ass.

On 1/6 violent extremists broke into the US Capitol building; broke into private offices of Senators and Congresspeople; some of them were arm; some of them smeared their feces along the walls; some of them attacked police officers; some of them stole private property.

In Tennessee, a peaceful protest occurred with no violence, no injury, no death, but one young Congressman was kicked out of the statehouse because he used a bull horn.

One of these things is nothing like the other and for you to suggest they are the same is so totally Fox News Lies of you.

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I Didn't Say It

Ron Johnson, GOP Senator, and loon, from Wisconsin, on a new “cure” for COVID-19:

“Standard gargle, mouthwash, has been proven to kill the coronavirus. If you get it, you may reduce viral replication. Why not try all these things?”

Damn, we could have saved 770,000+ lives if we’d just listened to this  tool and hoarded Listerine.

Seriously, Wisconsin, you want this moron representing you in Congress?

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Geoff Duncan, Georgia’s Republican Lt. Governor, on Thing 45  meddling in the state’s upcoming governor’s race by endorsing David Perdue over current GOP Governor Brian Kemp:

“We don’t need the traveling circus of [Thing 45] to stay here in Georgia. We need him to stay down in Mar-a-Lago, working on his handicap playing golf and let us be conservatives here in Georgia and move forward. It appears early on [Perdue] will try to carry [Thing 45]’s water on the conspiracy stuff, and that seems to be the only tail wind he’s got. It’s unfortunate.”

Both Kemp and Perdue need all the help they can get because Stacey Abrams is running for governor again, and she lost by a razor thin margin to Kemp; and that was before she mobilized thousands of Georgians to vote Thing 45 from office in 2020.

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Dan Crenshaw, GOP Congressperson, on the loud loons within his party:

“There are two types of members of Congress: there is performance artists and there is legislators. Performance artists are the ones who get all of the attention, the ones you think are more conservative because they know how to say slogans real well. They know how to recite the lines that they know our voters want to hear. What you hear so often is not true. It’s not true. We have grifters in our midst. I mean in the conservative movement. Lie after lie after lie because they know something psychologically about the conservative heart. We’re worried about what people are doing to do to us, what people are going to infringe upon us, that’s the nature of conservatism.”

Hey Dan? Do you really wanna stand up to the loons? Call them by their names each and every time they say something stupid. Demand they be held accountable for their lies and their hate speech. Failure to do that means you really don’t have a problem with them and will sit idly by while they take your party down.

And, actually, I’m good with that.

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Joshua Malina, actor, on the fact that cancel culture hasn’t gotten anti-Semite Mel Gibson tossed out of Hollywood—Josh is Jewish and he’s had it with Gibson:

“Gibson is a well-known Jew-hater [anti-Semite is too mild]. His prejudices are well documented. So my question is, what does a guy have to do these days to get put on Hollywood’s no-fly list? I’m a character actor. I tend to take the jobs that come my way. But—and this hurts to write—you couldn’t pay me enough to work with Mel Gibson. Many horrible people produce wonderful art. Put me down as an ardent fan of Roald Dahl, Pablo Picasso, and Edith Wharton; can’t get enough of what they’re selling. But these three had the good taste to die. That makes it a lot easier to enjoy their output. Gibson lives. And Tinseltown need not employ him further. This might feel like a smaller matter if it didn’t come at a moment when members of my tribe feel the walls closing in again. Jews were the victims in more than 50 percent of religious-based hate crimes last year. In recent years, we’ve witnessed the Tree of Life massacre in Pittsburgh, the murder at the Chabad of Poway synagogue in California, Jewish students harassed on college campuses, European anti-Semitism on the rise—these are the headlines that make us feel unsafe. Is this really the time to glorify a man like Mel Gibson?”

While it has been quite a while since Mel’s drunken anti-Semitic and racist tirade, one has to wonder: who is Gibson fucking to stay working in Hollywood? Or what dirt does he have that people will still hire him? I will never get the chance to work with Mel Gibson, and I wouldn’t if it ever happened, but I will add that you cannot pay me enough to watch him in anything, old or new.

Hate is hate and it doesn’t get my coins.

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Michele Bachmann, former GOP representative and presidential candidate, and current batshit crazy loon, saying vaccine mandates go against Biblical teachings that people have a right to work, and therefore are akin to murder:

“When you have government forcing private businesses to fire people because the people aren’t complying with what government says, then you’re denying people the right to earn a living. In the book of Ecclesiastes, it says when you deny someone the right to their living, it’s the same as murder, and so our government is engaging in probably some of the most horrific actions we have ever seen. If you take all the bad actions of government throughout the entire history of the United States and you put them all together, they pale in comparison to what we’re seeing now. This is a very unique time, so people shouldn’t think they’re crazy when they’re looking at current events and wondering what’s going on. This really is the absolute worst times.”

All the bad actions of government throughout the entire history of the United States and you put them all together, they pale in comparison to what we’re seeing now? Yeah, that whole slavery thing was nothing compared to telling people to take a vaccine; rounding up Asian-Americans and throwing them into camps during WWII was nothing; attacking a country based on a lie was just another day in America, but by God, do not tell us to get a shot.

But allowing unvaxxed people into the workplace where they can spread a deadly virus is God’s will?

Take a seat, Michele, er, Karen, your special brand of crazy, and your loose relationship with God, are not needed.

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Dolly Parton, on being a boss:

“I’m a good boss, I think. I try to rule with love and compassion. But also, there’s a fine line that says, ‘She’s not a pushover.’ I’m a fair and honest person. I like to be as friendly as I can and love the people that work with me and I like to have them love me. [But] some people I have to kick their ass up one side and down the other because some people will just not listen. And then you do have your creative vampires. You do have your energy vampires and you’ve got some people that just going to eat you up alive.”

Quite simply., if you work for Dolly, thank your lucky stars and don’t fuck it up, cuz she might be as sweet as molasses, but she’ll come for you if need be.

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Brianna Keilar, on that Christmas tree fire at Fox News HQ:

“The Christmas tree fire at Fox was a serious incident. Obviously, it’s incredibly scary to feel your workplace is under attack. Unless your workplace is the Capitol. Then, according to Fox hosts, it’s not such a big deal.”

Damn, girl! Nailed it.

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