… that people don’t realize that my emotional baggage is
basically the tough life experiences that have made me into the hilariously
twisted empathetic sexy fuck that I am today.
… that my morning routine, every morning, is just convincing
myself not to go back to bed.
… that people forget that I have quite the ability to
multitask … I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time.
… that if you see me talking to myself, pay me no mind. I’m
having a staff meeting.
… that when people tell me to
take it down a notch it guarantees a five notch increase; do not ever try to
de-notch me.
… that while I am not exactly sure what my spirit animal is,
I’m confident it has rabies.
… that I wish I could Google search my own mind … ask it
“what are my favorite movies” or “what’s the name of that place with the really
good egg rolls.”
… that people need to know that, at this age, if I tell you
I do not care, please believe me.
… that I feel the need to toot my own horn after making it
through another day of not turning feelings into felonies.
… that people who aren’t from
South Carolina don’t realize the average summertime temperature is a
hundred-and-fuck-you. |