The Funny Papers

Scott Ritchie [Canada], Jack Ohman, Drew Sheneman, Chris Britt, Jesse Duquette, Dennis Goris, Curnow Cartoons, Nick Anderson, Dave Whamond,  Adam Zyglis,  Clay Bennett, Mike Luckovich, Max Espinoza, Gary Huck, 

Meme Dump

Meme Dump

Bobservations

I don’t have a Carlos story this week because, to be honest, I haven’t been home an awful lot until Monday of this week, so I’ll share my first experience with an Airport Karen.

Flying home, I went from Portland to Atlanta—long flight—and arrived to find I had to take a train and a hike to my gate to catch the flight from Atlanta to Columbia. As I tend to book flights that have at least an hour layover I had the time and soon I was at the gate for my next flight. I sat down, took out a bottle of water and began to wait when a woman rushed up to the gate attendant shrieking that she’d missed her flight:

“They just closed the fucking gate! I was there and they closed the fucking gate! The plane is sitting right there and they won’t fucking let me on.”

When I say she was shrieking, think of what you believe to be shrieking and multiply it by a hundred. But the man at the gate simply said:

“Ma’am, go to the Delta counter and they will get you rebooked as quickly as possible. I cannot do anything right here.”

“NO! You are gonna give me a free flight. You’re gonna give me a free fucking shuttle to my house and get my luggage off that plane and onto the new flight—"

“Ma’am that plane is leaving. There’s no way I can get them—”

“Fuck that! Get me someone to talk to right now!”

“Ma’am. Go down to the Delta counter and they can get you on a flight and take care of your bags and any questions you may have. I cannot do that for you here.”

The woman looks around and sees me and shrieks:

“Do you hear this? He won’t even fucking help. Do you hear this?”

And I said:

“No, ma’am, all anyone can here is you screaming and cursing at him—”

“Fuck you, too.”

“Well, now, if I was interested in that, which I am not, I at least arrived at my gate in plenty of time to make my flight.”

“Fuck youuuuuuuuuuuu!!!”

And then she ran off through the airport.

This is a repost from August 2009:

“Trying to help with the laundry. He's such a good boy.”

I don’t know what it is about the laundry basket that made him crawl into; even if the clothes were still warm from the dryer or cool from sitting for hours, this was his spot.

Shout out to South Carolina Senators Katrina Shealy. Penry Gustafson, Sandy Senn, Margie Bright Matthews, and Mia McLeod—three Republicans, one Democrat and one Independent—for standing up for women and their RIGHT to make their own healthcare choices.

Not all of these women are pro-choice but all know that men should not be telling women what they can do with their bodies.

Speaking of South Carolina, GOP Senator Tim Scott says he will make a “major announcement” on May 22 about his presidential bid.

And on May 23 we will all become acutely aware that he has no chance of ever being President.

The other day a co-worker said to me:

“Everyone thinks you’re a grumpy old bitch.”

I smiled and replied:

“Odd, because I Googled ‘Who gives a fuck’ and my name wasn’t in the search results.”

Don’t come for me peasants.

Dwyane Wade spent years living in Florida and playing basketball for the Miami Heat before retiring back in 2019. But now, as a supportive dad and advocate for his trans daughter, Zaya, Wade and his family have decided that a Florida under the thumb of the likes of Ron DeSantis is no place to live, so the Wade’s have packed up and moved away.

Too bad more people don’t follow suit.

What’s good for the floral goose is good for the floral gander … Nashville’s FLWR Shop is refusing to serve a Republican National Committee [RNC] fundraiser featuring Thing 45 in protest over lack of action on gun control laws.

FLWR Shop said it hopes to encourage other Nashville businesses to refuse money from the RNC “until they begin to make the changes to gun laws that most Americans are calling for.”

To be completely fair the Met Gala isn’t about fashion, it’s about costume and showmanship, and this year the winner, for me, is Janelle Monae.

The theme this year was Karl Lagerfeld: A Line Of Beauty and some interpreted that nicely, and some took it to the Jetsons and beyond. Amirite, Janelle? Bitch looked like a dolled-up Rosie the Robot in a look that transformed itself on the carpet. At first glance, it looked like a very ornate overcoat designed to keep the wind chill away but then a pair of handlers stopped in and began removing the coat to reveal that she was wearing essentially a sheer wireframe gown with glittery bikini beneath.

I do hope there was a third look, otherwise Ms. Monae would have been standing the entire night.

Last week classical music lovers headed to the Walt Disney Concert Hall to hear the Los Angeles Philharmonic concert perform, among other things, Tchaikovsky’s Fifth Symphony and apparently one member of the audience was so overcome with, er, joy, by the performance that she experienced a full body orgasm.

Journalist Jocelyn Silver was the first to break the news on Twitter and even claimed that the orchestra stopped playing as the woman screamed and moaned, but others say that while the orgasm was loud, the band played on.

That must be some horny musical movement, eh?

This is French singer, songwriter, social media influencer and model Manu Noraced. And while he clearly has many talents this is a simpler question: Would You Hit it?