Bobservations

Since the pandemic began, the local band in which Carlos plays the trumpet has canceled all performances and rehearsals. But Carlos, for whom playing the trumpet is a kind of relaxation, has been practicing, still, every day. The other night, however, out of the blue, he asked if I minded him practicing, and I told him this was his house, and he could practice whenever he wanted.

“But I don’t want to disturb you.”

“You disturb me constantly, but you can do whatever you want in your house.”

“Our house.”

“Yes; our house; your house; my house. And I would never tell you that you can’t practice the trumpet even if it did bother me which it does not.”

Cut to a few nights later; I get home  about 7PM and he’s rehearsing. I head back to the office-rehearsal space and we chat for a moment. He continues to practice, and I began doing some things on the computer until he says:

“Do you mind if I play some more?”

“You can play whatever you like. If I can’t concentrate, I’ll leave the room.”

“Well, I’m trying to master this Haydn concerto.”

“Oh, that concerto.”

“You know it,”

“Yeah, it’s the one where when you start playin’, I start hidin’.”

I still got it.

Tuxedo, sadly, cannot vote, but he is growing ever more furious at the way this country works.

Tom Brady’s merchandise company, TB12 Inc., received nearly a million dollars from the Federal Paycheck Protection Program [PPP]—a $522B program designed to help small businesses cover things like rent and payroll. But with the GOP in charge, it was mostly larger companies that benefited while nearly half of all small businesses were denied PPP.

Now comes word that Brady, shortly after receiving his welfare check, bought himself a forty-foot yacht.

To be clear, it’s not illegal for Brady to accept PPP, and no one is suggesting that he used the money to buy a yacht, but it certainly looks terrible for a multi-millionaire accept a check for his business in a pandemic and then buy a luxury item.

The rich get richer …

The RNC has spent 300K purchasing Junior’s latest book. And, as criminals do, they’re trying to cover that expense up.

The payment—$303,892.47—didn’t go directly to Junior, but went to something called Pursuit Venture LLC., a company that was formed in late 2018 and lists Junior as its principal.

Grifters gonna grift, and the GOP is complicit.

PS No word if the GOP paid in cash or cocaine. ALLEGEDLY.

It looks like, while ______ refuses to accept he’s a loser, many in the White House are already plotting their exits and talking about the ‘toxic’ atmosphere.

So, yeah, cue the flood of books coming from those people, and cue me railing at anyone who buys one of those books written by people who stood by and let this murderer run rampant and did nothing.

Believe their stories, don’t buy their books, don’t put coins in their pockets.

I don’t know about y’all, but I loathe using the word ‘Xmas’ instead of Christmas. That’s all.

Steve Kornacki, MSNBC’s election wizard has landed his dream job: a slot on NBC’s signature NFL broadcast. Kornacki came out as gay in 2011, and his appearance proves that LGBTQ+ people belong everywhere in sports.

Now, let’s get a player to come out.

In other good gay news … California’s Supreme Court has its first openly gay justice with Martin Jenkins being sworn in by Governor Gavin Newsom. And more? Jenkins also is the third Black justice to serve on the court.

This is what America looks like.

Yes, a nice older man, a silver fox if you will. But he’s hot and sexy and smolders and he’s quite gay; and a bit of a renaissance man.

Eric Rutherford. He’s an actor, a model, an entrepreneur. He stopped modeling, for a while, in his early 30s, and became an event planner, a production assistant. He even worked for about five years with Oprah Winfrey, helping her open her girls’ school in South Africa.

I won’t hold that against him. I got other things in mind … and now he’s back modeling because hot, no matter the age, never goes out of style.

Top Five Most Viewed Pages In ISBL History

We are still entertaining house guests, so I thought I'd share what Blogger says are the Most Viewed ISBL pages EVER:

Number 1: THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2011
Steve Kornacki Comes Out

Steve Kornacki, news editor for Salon, has come out as a gay man, in an article written for the site in which he explains the hows and the whys, as well as the why nots, of his coming to terms with being gay.

I’ve read stories from people who say they always knew they were attracted to the same sex, or that they figured it out at a young age. I’m not one of them. I had practically no idea until one night in my sophomore year of high school. I was at a basketball game, and the guys around me started pointing out cheerleaders from the other team they thought were hot. I began to wonder: Why wasn’t I looking at the cheerleaders that way? And why was I sometimes noticing the other team’s players instead? My heart rate quickened and my mind spun until a thought surfaced: This is what it means to be gay.

Even though we all go through our own process of coming to terms with being gay, we all have had that moment when we realize what it is we're feeling, and how that makes us different, and how we move on from there.

Kornacki went through all those emotions, from personal acceptance to professional denial, from keeping that secret to letting everyone know. From living in secret, and finding an online outlet, to embracing himself as a gay man. He went from telling himself he'd some out when...he was older....in a relationship....in love, until he realized he might never really have those things if he didn't come out first. 

I junked the old cop-out about waiting until I was in a relationship to come clean, and one by one I sat down with friends, family and co-workers and let them know the real story about me. Some conversations were quick, others were more involved, but all of them felt good. One buddy listened to me, cracked a few jokes, and then started talking about football. “You’re still going to be the Steve who’s obsessed with random teams, right?” he asked. Of course.

And that’s the point. This isn’t the start of some brand-new life. I actually like a lot about the one I already have. But now the fear and paranoia are gone. And my life can finally make sense to the people who matter to me.

Read the entire article, which might have penned by any gay man or woman coming to terms with their orientation. It's funny and sweet and a little heartbreaking.

But, in the end, Steve Kornacki came out, and for that he receives a copy of The Gay Agenda and the obligatory Coming Out Toaster Oven.

Welcome out, Steve, welcome out.

via Salon

Number 2: WEDNESDAY, JUNE 16, 2010

Happy Birthday Joan Van Ark

Joan Van Ark, of the hit 1950s TV show, Knot's Landing, turns sixty-seven years old today.
Remarkably, however, her new face is just two-years-old!

Number 3: MONDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2012 

Matt Bomer [Officially] Comes Out

My Husband-In-My-Head, Matt Bomer has officially come out of the closet as a gay man. Although many people knew--it wasn';t a secret he shared his life with his partner and their children--he came out publicly at the New Generation Arts and Activism Award from the Steve Chase Humanitarian Awards.
In his speech, he thanked his partner Simon Halls, and their  three kids.

"And I'd really especially like to thank my beautiful family: Simon, Kit, Walker, Henry. Thank you for teaching me what unconditional love is. You will always be my proudest accomplishment."

Welcome out, Matt. Officially.

And please accept our Coming Out Toaster Oven as well as a copy of the 2012 Gay Agenda.

Welcome out.

Number 4: MONDAY, JULY 18, 2011 

Friendship

I think I'm a pretty good friend. And, a pretty good long-term friend, too. I have friends I've known for over....gulp......thirty years, and even though I now live clear across the country from some, we can pick up a conversation like we just had margaritas last night.

I count my friends, true friends, good friends, on maybe one hand, if I leave out Carlos and my family, and his, now my, Tia Gloria. And there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them, nor, do I believe, anything they wouldn't do for me.

Now, all my friends haven't been that way. As a gay man, I've lost friends who couldn't 'deal with' my being gay--whatever that means. I remember coming out to a friend, who said, "Hey, that's no big deal. Makes no difference to me" and then never spoke to me again.

His loss, I say now, though at the time I wondered if I should tell anyone else my secrets.
But I did, and those other friends, when I came out, said things like "Duh" and "I knew that" and "So?" And our relationships never changed. Well, except for one, or two.



One friend, I'll call her Meg because, well, that's her name, seemed perfectly fine with my gayness, my gay-itude, my gay-ology, even though she's Catholic. But then she's the kind of Catholic who believes in pre-marital sex with numerous partners and birth control; at least until she had children. Then she became the arch-Catholic, religious zealot right-wing Republican.

And, yet, I still considered her a friend. After I moved to Miami we would correspond occasionally though emails, and would have rousing discussions on politics; that was fun. I love a good conversation/debate/argument. But, when I began talking about marriage equality, she suddenly changed. Her "religion" wouldn't allow it.

And she wouldn't, couldn't, didn't see that her religious viewpoint should have no bearing on the laws in our country. When I explained that gay couples can't marry, aren't entitled to the Social Security benefits, sometimes cannot inherit, the same rights and privileges and benefits breeders like her take for granted, her answer was to say, "Well, it sounds like all you're concerned with is money."

I reminded her that in many states, gay couples have no legal rights to visit one another in hospitals, make health care decisions for one another; many things that aren't about  money.

Her response, literally, was, "Well, you and Carlos could always adopt one another."

That sealed the end of that friendship. If she couldn't, wouldn't, didn't understand that two men, or two women, could love one another and deserve the same dignity and respect as heterosexual couples, then we couldn't remain friends. How can you be a friend to someone who considers you 'less than'.

Cut to a year or so later, and I was email chatting with Meg's sister, Cheri, another lapsed, now vehemently radical Catholic. It was about the time Obama was running for president, and when marriage equality was legal in California. The conversation turned to politics and gay marriage, and again, of course, she disapproved for religious reasons, even though as a single gal, she'd been a wee bit promiscuous, and had even dated  a married man.

When we argued gay marriage, and she is oh-so-against it, I replied to one of her emails, "We're here, we're queer, we're getting married in California."

And she responded, because she thought I meant Carlos and I were getting married, "Good luck with your fake marriage."

I know! And I replied, "I remember being at your wedding and wishing you all the joy in the world, but you can't do the same for me?"

"Whatever," she said.

And the friendship door closed there, too.

I say this because I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately, mainly about Carlos and his circle of friends he had long before there was a Carlos-and-Bob. And he has recently gone through his own sort of trifecta of friendship scenarios of his own.

Carlos wants to start a non-profit group so he can do HIV education and presentations in rural areas of South Carolina where HIV and AIDS are on the rise, but rarely talked about. He talked with friends and colleagues about it and everyone was supportive.

One friend that he's known for years, who can be quite selfish, and quite to himself and about himself, suddenly, out of the blue, sent Carlos a free laptop to use in his work. No questions, no money; just a friend helping out a friend, no questions asked, and nothing needed to be reciprocated.

Right after that, another friend with whom he used to work, was passing through South Carolina and came to stay with us for a day or so. They picked up their friendship liked they'd just seen each the day before, not six years before. The conversation, the in-jokes, the pet names. It was fun to see this rekindling of a friendship.

But then he had the other kind; a de-kindling, of sorts, if you will.

He and another friend from Miami have been great friends, for going on twenty years, or so, and have always joked and teased and played. But apparently, he took the joke too far, and sent her an email about feces. Poop.

This, apparently, for his friend, was enough to end things. It was disgusting, she said.

Inappropriate, she said.
I'm done, she said.
Goodbye, she said.

Over a poop mail.

So, all this got me to wondering. How do you define friendship? How valuable is it to you? And are there any rules that, if broken, would end a friendship? Is it something you value, or something you use until you no longer need it and then toss it aside?

And Number 5: MONDAY, JULY 30, 2012

A Dip In The Shallow End......

While cruising the blog-o-sphere this morning, I stopped in at the junction, Nutwood Junction, where the always brilliant Beth was listing her Top Ten Reasons why she loves the Olympics. And, well, naturally, I couldn't help but add that, for me, #11 was Ryan Lochte's dimples. I'm shallow like that.
So, since I had already dipped into the shallow end, I thought I'd share some of my Hottie Olympians. I mean, it's not like it isn't hot enough already in Smallville. eh?
So, let's rip....and in no particular order.....

Alexandre Despatie
Canada, diver and perennial favorite

Cameron van der Burgh
South Africa, swimmer

Camille Lacourt
France, swimmer

Danell Levya
USA, gymnast

Giuseppe Lanzone
USA, rower

Hugo Parisi
Brazil, diver

John Isner
USA, tennis

Ky Hurst
Australia, swimmer

Teddy Riner
France, judo

Terrence Boyd
USA soccer

Yohan Blake
Jamaica, track-and-field

David Oliver
USA, track-and-field

James Magnussen
Australia, swimmer

Neymar
Brazil, soccer

Nick Symmonds
USA, track-and-field

Oscar Pistorius
South Africa, track-and-field
An inspirational hottie

Pascal Behrenbruch
Germany, decathlon

Trey Hardee
USA, decathlon

Troy Dumais
USA, diver

Ryan Lochte
USA, swimmer,
Gold for Best dimples

Steve Kornacki Comes Out

Steve Kornacki, news editor for Salon, has come out as a gay man, in an article written for the site in which he explains the hows and the whys, as well as the why nots, of his coming to terms with being gay.

I’ve read stories from people who say they always knew they were attracted to the same sex, or that they figured it out at a young age. I’m not one of them. I had practically no idea until one night in my sophomore year of high school. I was at a basketball game, and the guys around me started pointing out cheerleaders from the other team they thought were hot. I began to wonder: Why wasn’t I looking at the cheerleaders that way? And why was I sometimes noticing the other team’s players instead? My heart rate quickened and my mind spun until a thought surfaced: This is what it means to be gay.

Even though we all go through our own process of coming to terms with being gay, we all have had that moment when we realize what it is we're feeling, and how that makes us different, and how we move on from there.

Kornacki went through all those emotions, from personal acceptance to professional denial, from keeping that secret to letting everyone know. From living in secret, and finding an online outlet, to embracing himself as a gay man. He went from telling himself he'd some out when...he was older....in a relationship....in love, until he realized he might never really have those things if he didn't come out first. 

I junked the old cop-out about waiting until I was in a relationship to come clean, and one by one I sat down with friends, family and co-workers and let them know the real story about me. Some conversations were quick, others were more involved, but all of them felt good. One buddy listened to me, cracked a few jokes, and then started talking about football. “You’re still going to be the Steve who’s obsessed with random teams, right?” he asked. Of course.

And that’s the point. This isn’t the start of some brand-new life. I actually like a lot about the one I already have. But now the fear and paranoia are gone. And my life can finally make sense to the people who matter to me.

Read the entire article, which might have penned by any gay man or woman coming to terms with their orientation. It's funny and sweet and a little heartbreaking.

But, in the end, Steve Kornacki came out, and for that he receives a copy of The Gay Agenda and the obligatory Coming Out Toaster Oven.

Welcome out, Steve, welcome out.

via Salon