I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

Wow, talk about stupidity. During Sunday night’s Golden Globes Red Carpet showstravaganza, the E! channel decided to share what they dubbed ’Fun Facts’ about some of the celebs on the carpet.

Good idea? Could have been except … Some idiot at E! felt that a real ‘fun fact’ to include would be about Michael J. Fox’s diagnosis with Parkinson’s Disease.

I don’t think any right-minded person would think of that as a fun fact, which means there are no right-minded people at E!

But anyway, here’s their apology:

“We regret the insensitive classification of Michael J Fox’s Parkinson’s diagnosis during our E! Online live stream. We understand the serious nature of the disease and sincerely apologize.”

So, they’re just sorry they called it a ‘Fun Fact’ I guess, and sorry they got caught.

So Shia LaDouche LaBeouf is facing a lawsuit from comic book artist Daniel Crowe for basically stealing one of Crowe’s short stories and turning it into a film Shia said he wrote.

And now, after he copied and pasted an apology to Crowe — no, seriously, he found an apology online and copied it and pasted it into a Tweet to Crowe apologizing for stealing his work — Shia has decided to announce that he is done creating.

And by creating, I’m guessing he means stealing?

So Hilary Duff — who had a career for a hot second about ten years back — is splitting up with her husband of three years, and baby daddy, Mike Comrie.

That’s not news. The news is Why? I mean, despite the upcoming divorce, Duff and Comrie are said to be the best of friends, with Duff even Tweeting:

‘Mike and I are sitting here, we are so appreciative for all of your kindness & well wishes. Not an easy day but we’re getting thru it together’

Um, divorce means to separate, right? Not stay together?

And then her mouthpiece said this:

“Hilary Duff and husband Mike Comrie have mutually decided to an amicable separation. They remain best friends and will continue to be in each other’s lives. They are dedicated to loving and parenting their amazing son, and ask for privacy at this time.”

So, they’re BFFs who will remain in one another’s lives forever and parent their child together? Isn’t that marriage?

Oprah is finally realizing what we all knew all along: that Lindsay Lohan is a crack-addled mess.

Lohan and The Big O have been working together since Lindsay got out of her last rehab stint on a reality show docu-series chronicling Lindsay’s recovery.

Trouble is, ‘O Lohan’ isn’t really any better than Old Lohan. She’s late, uncooperative, not wanting to be filmed. And even Oprah has crawled down from her throne atop her refrigerator to say, in a clip for the upcoming mess:

“This is just what everyone warned me would happen (working with her). And it is.”

And, naturally, Oprah is filming with Lohan, trying to be her mentor/savior/counselor, telling Lindsanity:  

“My truth is, I really do want you to win … but if that isn’t what you want, I’m okay with that. I will tell these guys to pack up and leave today.”

And Lindsay says:

“I know this is my last shot at doing what I have to do.”

I smell a trainwreck all the way from the future:

The Lindsay Lohan Mess airs on OWN this coming March.

So, we all know that Justine Bieber is the worst neighbor ever, right? I mean he speeds through the neighborhood at breakneck speeds, throws loud obnoxious hooker and coke parties, and even once spat in a neighbor’s face that had to gall to ask him to drive carefully because they are children playing in the ‘hood. Footballer Keyshawn Johnson even tried to talk some sense into The Dweebs, but the little starlet “ran like a little child” when confronted by the NFL pro. But now, Justine is in more trouble because she, okay, ALLEGEDLY, is egging houses. Seriously.

It is rumored that last Thursday Biebs egged the house of the man in whose face he spat. In fact, the man says he heard something banging against his and when he stepped on to a 2nd floor balcony, he saw Miss Justine down below hurling eggs at the front door. And, according to the neighbor, when he shouted ‘What the hell are you doing?’ The Dweebs began hurling eggs up at him. Then, as usual, he ran home and crawled into his crib and began sucking his thumb.

This would be over, except the neighbor called police who took an incident report and then ….

The neighbor sent TMZ video of Justin definitely trespassing on his property during the attack. On the video, it is ALLEGED that you hear the neighbor yelling, “I see you. I f—ing see you!” and then hear Miss Justine respond, “F— you! I got another one for you, actually!”

And then … Police showed up at The Dweeb’s manse with a felony search warrant in hand and made Miss Justine wait in his garage while they searched his house  for surveillance footage of the egging and any eggs whose shells match the shells found at the scene of the crime. Really? Egg shells?

Police seized days worth of security footage from Justin’s cameras, which apparently capture every possible angle of things outside and should show what exactly happened but also found much more damning evidence: cocaine. Sitting there out in the open. But one of The Dweeb’s little rapper friends, Lil Za, took the fall for the coke and was arrested and held on $20,000 bail which Miss Justine has yet to pay or even offer to pay.

Steve Whitmore from Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Office said: 

“There were about eight people at the residence, they were detained. Justin Bieber was there as well. He was also detained, not arrested [because] the alleged narcotics were in such a location that they were directly related to one person and not related to the house at large.”

Uh huh. Oh, Miss Justine, it started off with eggs and ended up with Coke.

Tori Spelling never met a story that she didn’t want to use to keep her name in the papers, even if the story is about her husband cheating on her with another woman and getting that other woman pregnant ... ALLEGEDLY.

Now this is all gossip because, while Tori will tell you what she had for lunch in a Tweet and then Instagram a picture of one of her kids on the toilet, she hasn’t fired back at the marriage split rumors. But she is full-time posting happy family photos and adopting puppies, all without her husband in sight, just to prove what a lovely thing her life seems to be.

But a so-called friend, and an ALLEGED Spelling — Candy or brother Randy — has spoken to People magazine about Tori:

“I don’t know if she’s strong enough to leave him right now with everything she’s going through and four young kids. She could stay with him or not. God only knows.”

I doubt she’ll leave him because then what would she talk about or sell to reality TV. But Dean might leave her for his Canadian piece just like he left his first wife for his piece of Tori.

Kim Kardastrophe is a pathological liar who cannot keep her own lies straight; a lesson she no doubt learned from That Mother.

Even when caught red-handed lying her big ass off — er, photoshopping her big ass off — Kim is all in denial. See, she posted pictures of her remarkable post-NorthSouthEastWest weight loss on Instagram and people began calling her out on the violation of the Laws of Physics in said pictures.

See, look closely and notice how the walls and doors behind Kim bend from one picture to the next. Now, I don’t know about a porn-star-reality-chef-rapper-baby-mama’s house, but my doors don’t do that.

Come on Kimmy, enough with the lies and, well, Enough!

Back in 2007, Pamela Anderson — fresh from a Hep C support group with her carrier Tommy Lee — decided it would be fun to marry the guy who banged Paris Hilton — a veritable Petri dish of STDs, I’d say — on camera, so she walked down the aisle with Rick Salomon.

Then had the marriage annulled a full ten weeks later.

Well, she married him again this past weekend.

You can’t teach an old dog — or the older dog who bangs puppies on video — a new trick.

So there’s this story about a man suing Jenifer Lopez and it would be funny is it wasn’t so sad. But then the funny comes back up. Here’s the gist:

Rodrigo Ruiz has filed the $10,000 suit against JLo claiming she sent him a letter in 2008 after he submitted a demo tape to someone he believed was in her camp. Ruiz then claims Lopez demanded he reply with naked photos and more demo CDs.

So he did … the dick pics. And now he claims the letters JLo ALLEGEDLY sent him led him to believe he had a chance at a music career and a romantic relationship with Lopez. But, sadly, she apparently found a decade’s younger back-up dancer so she never followed through and he lost all hope, sank into depression, saw a shrink, and then decided to sue.

Ruiz claims JLo sent him this letter:

“I just wanted to let you know that I do remember you and that I am interested in you. I have plans on leaving my husband. But I can’t say much right now so that’s it for now. Send me pictures of you both with clothes and without clothes.”

Followed by this one:

“This is Jennifer Lopez writing to you again and just to let you know that I got your packages, music, and demos. And just to let you know you need to send me pictures of you with and without clothes.”

And then this:

“This is Jennifer Lopez and as you can tell its been a while since I last wrote and as you can see I have a new boyfriend which means your in for the long haul and you have to put up with the fact that I am f**king him and sucking his d**k.”

First off, does she really announce herself in each letter: This is Jennifer Lopez Or maybe she had Ryan Seacrest do it a la American Idol: “This. Is. Jenifer-r-r-r-r-r-r. Lopez!”

Ruiz filed a police report claiming sexual harassment but records show the P.O. box he replied to is owned by a 53-year-old L.A. woman.

Well, that could be JLo, no?

Charlie Sheen has a new porn star girlfriend, Brett Rossi who is so jealous of his ex-wife and baby mama, Denise Richards, that she has demanded Sheen evict Richards from a house Sheen owns.

Now, it’s a fact that last month, shortly after hiring dating Rossi, Sheen kicked his other ex-wife, serial-rehab addict Brooke Mueller out of a home he owns and only allows Mueller in the house during her twice-weekly visits with their four year-old twin boys.

For now, Denise is still in that same neighborhood, right down the street from Charlie, living with their two biological daughters, Sam and Lola, and two year-old Eloise, whom Richard’s adopted in 2011.

Sidenote: here’s a bit of buzz. There’s a theory that Eloise is actually Sheen’s daughter from another woman who gave her up to Denise. This is all speculation, but Sheen just got a tattoo commemorating all his kids, and he included the initial “E” for Eloise. Just sayin’.

Anyway, despite caring for his twin sons with Brooke when she was too high to mommy herself, and aside from ALLEGEDLY adopting one of Charlie’s other kids, and aside from being mother of two of Charlie’s other children, Charlie reportedly wants Denise out and is said to be considering evicting her from her home because that’s what the porn star flavor-of-the-month wants.

Rossi’s main issue is this:  

“She complains that whenever she leaves the gated community, she is forced to drive by Denise’s house, and she just doesn’t like it. Charlie’s people told Denise he wants her out, and he didn’t tell her because they aren’t talking at the moment.”

And this all started because, last Christmas, while Denise invited Charlie to spend time with their girls, she just didn’t want his latest porn piece in the house.

Really? She wanted her kids to be with their Dad and not with a porn actress? Well, no wonder she’s getting evicted …

More Lohan?

It seems that after ordering a hit on a smack-talker at a Miami house party, and after making Oprah wait for her, and after partying it up in LA, Lindsay went off to London to, well, party.

For no apparent reason. I mean, even the British tabloids are questioning why she was in London and who was paying for it. But here’s my thought: she’s Lindsay, dammit. It’s what she does. Party, Fight, Drink. Drug. Arrest. Rehab. Repeat.

Insiders — and by insiders, I mean Lindsay — say Lohan arrived at celeb hotspot Boujis with a small group of friends, who then spent about £3,000 on Crack Baby — Crack Baby? Lohan? This stuff writes itself — shots and a Boujis B cocktail vessel.

Then she left the club in the early AM with a girl and a boy because she’s been known to roll back and forth; they headed home to Chelsea and ALLEGEDLY continued to binge drink all night, though Lindsay’s mouthpiece — Mama Dina possibly — says she didn’t touch any alcohol.

One noticeable absence from Lindsay’s night out with the Crack Babies, was that of her new boy, Christian Arno Williams. A source — again Dina — says:

“Christian is a total cheeky chappy and has no fear. He caught Lindsay’s eye and just went in for the kill. He’s very good-looking and Lindsay loves the British accent. They spent loads of time together and got pretty close, quite quickly. Neither knows whether this will lead to anything or if it was merely a holiday romance but, at the moment, Christian is really happy and quite excited. He has only told a handful of people and is trying to be discreet, as is Lindsay.”

Happy because Lohan is ALLEGEDLY using all her Oprah money to shower him with gifts like a $30,000 Rolex that may or may not have been stolen because, again, that’s how Lohan rolls. And keeps on rolling.

Etta v Beyoncé

All sorts of girl-on-girl feuding goin' all over the web. Hilary Duff and Faye Dunaway in a smackdown. Ashley Judd and Sarah Palin trash talkin' each other. 

And now Etta James is after Beyoncé. 

Beyoncé starred recently in a film, Cadillac Records, where she played Etta James, and apparently has been singing one of Etta's big hits, At Last, all over the world. She even sang it to President and Mrs. Obama as their first dance at an inauguration ball. Etta won't have it: 

"You guys know your president, right? You know the one with the big ears? Wait a minute, he ain't my president. He might be yours; he ain't my president. But I tell you that woman he had singing for him, singing my song — she's going to get her ass whipped. The great Beyoncé. Like I said, she ain't mine. ... I can't stand Beyoncé. She has no business up there, singing up there on a big ol' president day, gonna be singing my song that I've been singing forever."

Duff'n'Dunaway

 

Because there is no shortage of new ideas in Hollywood, Hilary Duff is reportedly set to star in a remake, or re-imagining they call it now to make you think you're seeing something new when all you get is a half-baked rehash of the original, of Bonnie and Clyde; this one is very different because they are calling it The Story of Bonnie and Clyde.

See? Different. Re-imagining. 

Anyway, as is her want, when Faye Dunaway, who played the original Bonnie is the 60s hit, heard that puff-pastry pop star Hilary Duff would be playing Bonnie this go-round, said, and I quote:

”Couldn't they at least cast a real actress?” 

Hilary, not to be out-catted, responded as such, and again I quote:

“I think that my fans that are going to go see the movie don’t even know who she is, so you know…. I think it was a little unnecessary but I might be mad if I looked like that now too.” 

Me. Ow. It's on, bitches.

Knock It Off!

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It's one of the phrases I hate most, and I do a 'Wanda Sykes' when I hear people say it. I work in a restaurant and one night I heard one of the hostesses complaining about her parents; as I approached I heard her say, "They're so gay."
"Your parents are gay?" I asked.
"No," she said, "they won't let me go to this party."
"Oh, it's a party for gay kids?" I asked, nodding, Yoda-like.
"No!" she snarled. "My parents are gay 'cuz they won't let me go."
"They're gay because of that?"
"yeah. Stupid."
"Oh, they're stupid because they won't let you go to a party, not because your parents are actually gay?"
"No."
"Then say they're stupid. Rules aren't gay; music isn't gay; shoes aren't gay; things you don't like aren't gay. Gay is gay; it isn't stupid or dumb"
Knock it off!